


U-Turn

by AnotherLostSoul



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol makes people do stupid things, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - No Death Note, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassins & Hitmen, Beyond Birthday is his own warning, Blackmail, Bottom L, Boys Being Boys, Cancer, Car Accidents, Character Study, Christmas Fluff, Complete, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Criminality Challenge, Cunning, Denial of Feelings, Descent into Madness, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Drugs, Drunk Sex, Dubious Morality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Epic Friendship, Epic Love, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Final farewells, Getting to Know Each Other, Happily Ever After Fest, Honeymoon, How to get away with 'murder', Idiots in Love, Immigration & Emigration, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Kidnapping, LGBTQ Themes, LGBTQ rights, Living Together, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Mind Games, Miscommunication, Modern AU, Morality, Murder, Oh the drama, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Partners to Lovers, Past Abuse, Poor Everyone, Poor L, Poor Life Choices, Poor Light, Protective Light, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Realization, Rebuilding, Relationship Problems, Rimming, Romance, Separation Anxiety, Sexual Tension, Sexual exploration, Sexuality Crisis, Shameless Smut, Sick Character, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Social Issues, Stockholm Syndrome, Surrogacy, The feels!, The power of friendship, These poor boys, Top Yagami Light, Torture, True love conquers all!, Trust me i know this, Undercover Missions, Ups and Downs, Voyeurism, Weathering the storm, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, Working Through Things Together, Workplace Relationship, bending the rules, family life, gay conversion therapy, old feelings die hard, vengeance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2019-11-12 13:42:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 55
Words: 201,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18012008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/pseuds/AnotherLostSoul
Summary: Light is a struggling Junior Detective who's world is flipped upside down when he is assigned a new partner- a strange foriegner called L... As he gets to know L, Light discovers not only has his life been flipped upside down, L's made it do a comtplete U-Turn.





	1. Partners

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a fic I wrote months ago, thought I had accidentally deleted :( but has somehow resurfaced :O so I thought I would post. 
> 
> I really fancied trying my hand at a Death Note AU, and have only written the first chapter so far. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it and please leave some feedback, I would really appreciate it, so remember to feed the author if you want more Uturn ❤ leaving feedback seems to be something of an issue for most readers on here I've noticed 🙄 😂

Light readjusted his tie for the third time that morning. He didn’t know why Deputy Director Kitamura had summoned him to his office. At 23, he was basically on the bottom of the ladder. Newly qualified and desperate to break free from his Father's glory and establish his own reputation, Light Yagami felt a crushing pressure to prove himself. 

He hesitated outside of the Director's door and took a deep, relaxing breath. He knew he had done nothing wrong, how could he? He was Chief Yagami's boy. Still... He didn't know why Kitamura wanted to see him. And not knowing things made him nervous. 

He knocked and waited politely until he was called inside. Light's eyes widened in surprise as he noticed a stranger was already in the office, and perched quite familiarly on Kitamura's desk no less! 

“Ah! Yagami-Kun, would like you to meet your new partner. This is L Lawliet he has joined our force from Winchester”

Light blinked at the calm-looking young man. He had inky, wild looking hair and strangely alluring charcoal hued eyes. He looked... Unusual. Pale. Beguiling. 

‘Beguiling? What the fuck...’ Light disnt have the time to analyse where that odd thought had come from. They were both looking at him. 

“I... I’m sorry, I’m confused. I thought only Senior Detectives were assigned partners?” 

“Lawliet-San *is* a senior” Kitamura smiled “Though you wouldn’t think it to look at him. Winchester's finest detective, aged just 24. Lawliet-San has recently relocated to Japan and we were fortunate to snap him up first”.

Light’s eyebrow twitched. Great. His partner was a senior and just a year older than him. Talk about salt in the fucking wound.

“Nice to meet you, Light”

Light blinked. Did the man just address him by his given name?! 

L tilted his head “Oh. Yagami-Kun. Forgive me, it has been many years since I have been in Japan, I suppose I’m a bit rusty. Only friends and family address you by your given names, correct?”

“Correct” Light managed to smile, but it was painfully polite. 

“Huh, well, your going to be my partner and I don’t really know anyone here so you may call me L”

Light flicked his eyes to Kitamura in uncertainty. Who the hell was this guy? 

“Of course, L, I will bear that in mind. Well, I will leave Yagami-Kun to settle you in. We are thrilled to have you on board”

Light blanched. What in the actual fuck? Why was Kitamura kissing his ass so hard? 

“Thanks. See you later then, boss” L hopped off the desk and stood before Light “After you”

Light managed a pinched smile and turned on his heel. He caught the smallest curl on L's- Lawliet's lip and clenched his jaw. This man was going to be a pain in the ass. He just knew it... 

Fifteen minutes later, Light's prophecy had come true. L had insisted on moving around *his* office and had steadily munched on an entire packet of strawberry pocky WHILST talking to him! 

“You know, I actually requested to be your partner. I was offered to team up with Miss Misora, and while I admire her, I had to decline”  
Light paused in his task of unwrapping his Bento. He was so used to just eating lunch alone it was strange to suddenly have someone chatting to him. 

“Why?” Light asked, genuinely confused. Misora was a senior. Somehow, so was Lawliet. So why would he request to be partnered to a Junior? 

“Well, you remind me of myself. Back in Winchester the department was basically ran by my Grandfather. It was frustrating, being praised for doing nothing but possessing the surname Lawliet. I felt trapped by it all. Until I gained the courage to leave and come here. I wanted to be free from his shadow and make my own name. I hope I have not misjudged you, but I was under the impression you feel the same way?”

It was a rare occurrence when Light Yagami was stunned, but this was one of them. He felt a little guilty for judging Lawliet too harshly. He had assumed Lawliet just wanted to be paired with a Junior so he had someone to look down on and boss around... 

“Im sorry if I’ve made you feel... uncomfortable in anyway” L mumbled around another mouthful of candy. He looked almost guilty. 

“No! That is...” Light ran a hand through his hair “That was very astute of you to pick up on. And it's also true. I have been offered a Senior position but when I asked what for... Well, it was insinuated my father had suggested it...”

L nodded, his eyes thoughtful “You have a sense of dignity and perseverance I respect. I admire your refusal of Senior status, Yagami-Kun”

Light was disturbed to feel his cheeks growing hot. ‘Am I coming down with something? What is wrong with me today!’

“As for me... Well, I suppose I’m just good at solving cases. I joined the Met when I was 18. I was promoted at 22”

“How?” Light muttered, irate at the tinge of jealousy in his tone. 

“I... I solved a case. A very difficult case that wasn’t even mine. Quillish, My Grandfather and head of the Met, warned me to back off and leave it to the team dellagated to it... but I couldnt. There was a Pedophile ring linked to Westminster. I suspected a coverup so set up my own private investigation. Quillish even suspended me for a month when he found out” Lawliet took a swig of tea “But all that did was free up more time. I hacked phones, placed bugs, interviewed witnesses and managed to insert myself into the MP's social circle... It took months, but I secured the proof I needed. I went public with my findings and now Lord Hastings is rotting in jail where he belongs” Lawliet gave Light a small, ironic smile “I was promoted because of my reckleness and determination. Not because I had worked hard towards it. They had no choice but to promote me or risk appearing... Compassionate to Lord Hastings cause. Complacent, even. After that case I moved to another department to concentrate on forensics...” L looked down, looking self-conscious “Am I talking too much?”

“No” Light breathed, absolutely engrossed in the story “Please go on! What happened next?”

“Oh, well I stuck to forensics and worked on numerous high profile cases. I earned a name and reputation, my *own* name and reputation and I thought I would be content. But then... I found out Quillish was planning his retirement and wanted to pass on his responsibilities to me. I am 24. I do not have the years of experience or skillset he possesses. It made me angry, to see this ‘old boys’ network flourishing under my nose. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair. I refused the position and requested to be transferred. My Grandfather hasn’t spoken to me since... And... Here I am”

“That’s... Fucking incredible” Light murmured softly “And here I was thinking you only requested to work with me because I you could boss me around”

L’s luminous eyes shimmered with amusement “Not quite, Yagami-Kun. I simply wanted to work with someone who I feel I can connect with. We have similar opinions on fairness, equality and a similar work ethic”

Light found a tentative smile. Perhaps working with Lawliet wouldn’t be so bad after all?


	2. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light struggles to adapt to having a partner, but finds himself fascinated by L Lawliet all the same, especially when they begin to open up to one another...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tentative toe poke into the water... Let me know what you think. I really enjoyed writing this 😊
> 
> Also, in case anyone is intrested, I remembered why I started this fic in the first place. I went through a NCIS crime scene investigation phase and binge watched as much of it as I could. Then I decided it might be fun to write L and Light as partners. So there you go, context! 😂

Light arrived at his (their) office at precisely nine am. Suit pressed perfectly, tie straight and steaming cup of coffee in hand ready to start the day. 

He nearly sighed when he noticed L.  
L looked half asleep, his eyes half-lidded as he gazed out of the window. His hair was a wild mess (which reminded Light of a nest) and his clothes... 

While Light could tell they were designer (he had an eye for such things) he could also tell they were not ironed and were not professional. Ripped Levi jeans, Converse sneakers and a faded band tee were hardly standard office attire.

“Morning” L mumbled as he sipped his coffee “Note the lack of the use ‘good’ I am of the belief no morning is truley good”

Light had to smile “Not a morning person I take it?”

L turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow as If to say ‘Whatever gave you that impression?’  
“Let me guess, you are” L replied accusingly  


Light gave a startled, almost hesitant snicker at L's remark and shook his head at the surrealness of it. He was laughing before he had finished his coffee and didn’t even *mind* that much that he now shared his space. 

Light couldn’t stop himself from staring at L's clothes. L, obviously noticed and looked down a bit self consciously. 

“I, uh, haven’t had time to unpack, much less go shopping for more suitable attire” L smiled sheepishly “Kitamura-San said it was fine for today but I really do need to go shopping after work”

Light ‘hmm’d’ at that bit of information. It was a well known fact Kitamura came down hard on inappropriate clothing in the office. When they worked in the public they were reflecting the entire organization. Smart/Casual was the accepted dress code. Lawliet's band T-shirt, ripped jeans and converse did not meet the standard. Kitamura's acceptance of Lawliet's dress was another indicator their boss was acting oddly lenient. 

“I don’t suppose you know of any suitable stores?”

Light smiled. He knew plenty of stores and jotted a few down. L thanked him and tucked the scrap of paper in his pocket. 

“Misora-San said I looked like an angst-ridden teenager” L admitted with a small smile “I have yet to decide if I should take that as a compliment or insult”

Light smirked. The fact Misora Massacre had even spoken to L before her first morning coffee was astonishing. What was it about him? 

“Anyway, our case files are on your desk. I don’t know which cases you’ve been looking into, so if it is alright with you, I will follow your lead on what we need to look into”

Light cleared his throat at the irony of the situation. His superior was going to follow his lead? Lawliet just kept getting stranger and stranger. 

‘Or maybe it's because he doesn’t view me as his inferior. He is remarkably open and placid from what I have seen so far. Maybe he just wants me to take the reigns as he settles in?’

“Yagami-Kun?”

“Ah, yes, sorry. Right, we should look through these. I’m currently quite invested in the Roofies case”

L nodded “Cheap drugs mixed with chemicals, right?”

Light handed L the case file “Yeah, four deaths, all teenagers. These drugs need to come off the street before more kids die”

L flipped open the file and scanned the witness statements. The autopsy reports were eye-opening. Each young person had died of a combination of dehydration and heart failure.  
Imitation ecstasy. 

“Have you managed to establish any connection with local drug dealers?”

Light flushed. Establish a connection with them? What, like wander up to one of them and ask to score. They would see that a mile away. 

“Hmm, okay. That might be an option to look into” L nibbled on his thumb as he whipped through the pages at an astonishingly fast pace. There was no way he had read the entire file in just 12 seconds, Light was sure of it. 

“This is in-depth, however I feel an avenue of investigation has been missed. Apart from preliminary interviews with the victims families and basic room searches, the victims home lives and contacts have not been examined. There is a chance one of them may have mentioned something of importance to their friends or family. I would suggest a series of follow-up interviews with the family and friends of the victims”

“We can do that. I have already spoken to all four families though...”

L slouched over to his desk and powered up his laptop. Once it was logged in he pulled up a map of Inner Tokyo and highlighted the four youth's former residences. Light’s eyes widened as he saw they were all in very close proximity of one notable place: Tokyo Metropolitan University. 

“How did I miss that?” Light muttered sullenly. 

“Sometimes it takes a pair of fresh eyes” L demurred kindly “Shall we head there this afternoon and speak to some students?”

Light could only nod. Somehow L had taken charge of the investigation after all... 

Light commenced his usual morning routine, which involved checking his emails, sharpening his pencils and finishing up any paperwork that needed doing. 

L's morning routine was rather... different to his. L curled up in his chair, popped on a pair of headphones and began what appeared to be a long and complicated hack of some kind. His breakfast consisted of pop tarts, and the thought of all those E numbers was enough to make Light gag. 

“Uh, Lawliet... Lawliet-San?”

L mumbled about ‘Stupid bloody kids' under his breath, in English, as he typed out line after line of code, completely oblivious to Light. 

“Lawliet!”

Finally, L turned his head to look at him. He pulled his headphones down with a small frown on his face “I did say you could address me as L, I would much prefer it”

Light sighed and nodded. Fine. He would humour the guy. “What does L even stand for?”

“It doesn’t stand for anything” L's fingers hovered over the keyboard “My mother was a heroin addict. She was off her nut when she went into labour and kept slurring out ‘L’ once I had been born. She died soon after, so I imagine the paramedics just went with L” L shrugged a slim shoulder “Perhaps she had a name in mind, but was too out of it to say it. I will never know, and honestly having a letter for a name isn’t too bad. It's a great conversation starter”

Light cleared his throat. ‘Shit. This guy is just...’

“I know, it's odd. But I’m odd, so it's fine” L soothed “Anyway, what was it you wanted?"

“I was just wondering what you were doing. Those are some pretty advanced hacking skills...”

L smiled at the reluctant praise “Im hacking into the universities student records. I have a hunch the dealer is both well known and linked to the students. They are selling cheap, and that would appeal to the student market. I suspect our dealer is, or was, a student”

Light hurried to his desk and excitedly pulled out his profile. L had had the exact same theory as he did. He felt strangely validated by that fact.  
“I thought the same. I complied this profile a few weeks ago”

L took the document and ran his eyes over it “Good. How do you feel about the possibility of undercover work?”

Light blanched “Undercover? I thought we were going to interview the families?”

He hadn't gone undercover in *years*...

“We are. But after that I think the next logical step would be to immerse ourselves in the scene. No offense, but I believe I would pass myself off as a student better than you. You are... Naturally quite poised, and that would attract attention and make you stand out. These students at Tokyo Met are not affluent and not attending a top tier university. I will be able to blend in better because I have exprienced the same. Plus i can play on being a culturely-stunted foriegner to get people to open up to me more”

Both smirked, because that wasn't far from the truth.

“What, you didn’t attend Oxford?” Light scoffed, a surprised edge to his voice softening the question. 

“Sadly not. It was the London met or nothing for me. I didn't really have many options when i first started.” L cleared his throat, suddenly embarrassed to be talking so much “Anyway, Shall we finish up here and re-interview? Oh, you will have to drive. I have no idea where I’m going”

Light sighed again (he was doing that an awful lot this morning) and finished off his coffee.  
Why did he find L (not Lawliet he said he would prefer to be addressed as L) so interesting? The man essentially had the darkest of beginnings, being born to a mother off her face on drugs. He hadn’t even been named properly! From what he said about university his options were limited there... 

It sounded like L Lawliet’s life had been an uphill struggle. Yet somehow the man was deferential, calm and friendly. Light knew if he had been in L’s shoes he certainly wouldn’t be so calm about things. L said himself he advocated fairness but life had hardly been fair to him... 

“Yagami-Kun, you have been staring at me for the last two minutes”

Light startled and shook his head “Sorry! I just...got lost in my own thoughts there for a moment”

L's eyes softened in understanding “Oh, no problem. I do that too”

Light managed a smile. Somehow that didn’t surprise him in the slightest. L looked like he spent half of his life daydreaming or locked inside his own head. 

Light frowned at his phone and picked it up. Why was she ringing him this time of day? 

“Hello?”

“Darling, just a heads up there has been another death linked to that awful drug at Tokyo Met. I know your investigating it, so I thought you would appreciate the heads up”

“Shit, when did it happen? This morning?”

“Around an hour ago. The young man's friend contacted us with the story. It seemed he was rather more concerned about being paid a story fee than the demise of his supposed best friend...”

Light's eyes gleamed as he scribbled down some notes. Sometimes dating an up and coming newsreporter had its perks. Kiyomi knew how much this case meant to him, she was risking her own neck by reporting to him on the sly.  
“Kiyomi, Thank you so much, I really appreciate this! L and I are going to head to the University now and-”

“L?”

Light grimaced as he watched L munch on the last of his pop tarts. 

“Long story short, he's my new partner. I will explain more tonight. I've got to go, Darling, thank you so much for this!”

Light finished the phone call and met L's eyes. An excited flush of colour swept his cheeks as he explained (briefly) about his girlfriend’s position as a junior reporter for Sakura TV and how she helped his investigations when she could. 

“She sounds like a very selfless person” L mumbled around a mouthful of pastry “Have you been together long?”

Light bristled. He really needed to explain to L that such frank and open questions weren’t the norm in Japan. Still... He had to admit L's frankness was refreshing. 

“Not long, around six months or so...” Light surprised himself as he answered. He was even more surprised at the next set of words that slipped (almost without his own violation) out of his mouth. “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

For some reason that seemed to amuse L. He tipped his head back and let out a delightfully husky sounding laugh. Light's stomach clenched at the sound of it. 

“Yagami-Kun, I am fortunate enough to know the couple who live in the flat next to mine and that is basically it” L explained with a small smile, thinking back to how he had met Matt and Mello. He'd dropped a box and swore in English. They had poked their heads out, and L felt an instant connection to them. They were foreigners too. By the time they had helped L move in L knew he had made his first two friends in Japan. 

‘Right. Of course. That was such a stupid question. And why would I even care if he was dating someone or not? Right. Time to get out of this office and start working on the case...’  
Light cleared his throat and shrugged on his coat. L followed suit and trotted out of the office behind him. 

‘I don’t get it. One minute he has taken charge of the investigation, the next he is following my lead...’

Light had the feeling there was a lot of things he would find strange about his new partner. L casually greeted Kitamura and Misora when he passed them and Light was astonished when both *smiled* at him as they passed. 

As they drove to the university Light tried not to dwell on the fact he had essentially spent his entire first morning with L as his partner analysing him. 

“Hey, L, I was wondering if you would like some company later on, after work when you’re shopping?”

L's face lit up “That would be lovely, Yagami-Kun, thank you”

Light nodded his head shortly and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. 

What the hell was going on?! 

‘I’m curious about him. He's odd. That's all. A quick shopping trip and then I can get back to Kiyomi and my normal existence’ Light soothed himself. His sense of clam was shattered when L reached over and flipped the radio on. 

“Oh, The Beatles” L smiled in delight “Wasn’t expecting that”

Light struggled to keep his irritation from his face as L sang along to Helter Skelter and procured a packet of gummy bears from his coat. 

Having a partner was turning out to be a strange and frustrating experience indeed....


	3. Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L shocks Light with his unconventional investigative tactics, and Light finds himself spending more and more time trying to solve the puzzle that is L Lawliet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Whispers) Light! Hey, Light. Guess what? You've got a CRUSH on him! Just a head's up, you clueless man!

When they arrived on campus Light was immediately struck by the sheer number of students hanging around the walkways. They were crowding around the police officer's, simply watching and listening as they took statements. None of them appeared overly forth coming. 

“Oh wow, look at that” L mumbled and pointed towards a group of students. 

“Huh? What?” light frowned at them. He saw nothing out of the ordinary about the small group who were lingering near the press. 

“That girl has a bubble-gum slushy, Light. I need one”

Light groaned and shot him a look of disbelief. Was he working with L or was he babysitting him? 

“You go and talk to the PO's. I’m going to get one of those slushies’ and mingle with the students”  
Light opened his mouth to protest but L was already walking away from him. 

‘Is he for real?! He's here to investigate a kid dying and he's gone to get a slushy!’ 

The boy who had sold his story was centre stage as he tearfully eulogised his late friend to Sakura Tv's cameras. Light flashed his badge and introduced himself to the officers on scene, while trying very hard not to scan the crowd for a certain spiky black head. 

“Yagami-Kun, good to see you again!” 

Light forced a polite smile as he bowed his head to Touta Matsuda. A rookie, the guy was even lower on the pecking order than he was. He was one of those permanently happy people who somehow managed to endear himself to whoever he spoke to. Light wondered if L would get on with him. 

“The kid's been taken for tests, it was brutal. Foaming at the mouth, seizures!” Matsuda gave a theatrical shudder “Like something out of a horror movie”

Light quirked an eyebrow. Foaming at the mouth. That was new. Were the drugs being cut with another chemical? 

“Yeah, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing really but thank you *so* much for showing me around Mamio-Chan! These slushy’s are amazing”  
Light cringed as he heard *his* voice. L had attached himself to a small group of girls who were crowding around him and cooing over his ‘funny accent'

Of course, L was using his Britishness to his advantage. If that was one thing Light struggled to understand about his fellow countryman was how they could be so xenophobic to outsiders but at the same time fascinated by all things western. All L had to do was smile and the girls were giggling and asking questions about London and Big Ben. 

“Oh yeah, I'm from London” L smiled “It’s a shit hole, really. I struggle to grasp how romanticised it has become. The parking is non-existent, the people are rude and arrogant and the traffic. Don’t even get me started on *that*” L flicked his eyes up and met Light's astonished expression. He jerked his head slightly to the left with a pointed look. 

“Uh, catch up later” Light left Matsuda mid-sentance and hurried over to L. He had the feeling L was somehow investigating the students without them even realizing what he was doing. Was this what he meant by undercover work? 

Light approached and immediately noticed the tension his presence caused. The students knew he was a fed. 

“Do you know this guy?” A girl whispered to L, her eyes narrowed suspiciously at Light. 

“Nope” L shrugged “I told you, I basically know no one at the moment. He looks a right stuck up prat, anyway. What can we do for you, officer?”

‘Are you playing games with me, L?’ Light narrowed his eyes but L continued to stare at him blankly. Why the hell had he called him a stuck up prat?! 

“I was wondering if any of you know anything about the recent deaths linked to the contaminated drugs on campus”

L's eyes gleamed in what Light assumed to be acknowledgement. 

“Nope” The pink-haired girl shrugged. She was defensive. Too defensive. L shrugged his shoulders and slurped on his slushy. 

“Did you know the young man who died this morning?”

“Nope! If you will excuse us, we need to get to class. Coming with, Riam?”

L nodded and brushed past light. Light stiffened in surprise as a note was shoved into his pocket. What the fuck was L playing at? 

He watched L and his new friends walk away and reached for the note. L's messy scrawl read:

‘Gone undercover. These girls know more than they’re letting on. I’m going to have lunch with them. Meet up with me by the fountain in two hours' 

“Oh for fuck's sake, L” Light growled. L was already out of sight, so Light had no choice but to continue his investigation and interviews alone. He just hoped L's unconventional approach would bear fruit. 

 

**********

 

L twirled the pasta round his fork as he looked from one girl to another. They were all first years and appeared quite cliquey. They were part of the drug scene, L was certain of it. They just seemed that way with their brightly dyed hair and cannabis leaf paraphernalia. One of them had whispered to her friend about ‘being careful what to score' and L had marked them out at once. 

“So, what's the deal with this drug shit going on” L mumbled around a mouthful of pasta “I’ve been meaning to look up what's around campus but I ain’t down for taking something that makes you foam at the mouth!”

Chiyo exchanged a glance with her friend “You’re looking to buy? We know someone...” she lowered her voice “Obviously with everything that’s happening we have to keep it on the down low”

“Obviously” L smirked “There will be feds crawling around the place for weeks now. If I were you I would mention to your guy to take his dealings out of the campus grounds, throw them off his scent a bit”

“You think?” the pink-haired girl frowned “I could mention it to him”

“Well if you can, do me a favour and hook me up with him. It's my birthday in a few weeks and the international students union is throwing a sick party”

“What are you looking for?” Chiyo murmured “I will see what I can do”

L smiled and scrawled down his phone number on a napkin “Ecstasy. But *not* the crap that’s floating around. If it's decent stuff I will buy it regularly. But that is an *if* you understand”

Chiyo and her friend nodded, before they peered closely at L. 

“You can’t tell anyone about this, Riam”

“Obviously not” L snorted “What do you take me for, an ammeter? I can read people. I knew you guys could hook me up. The stoner hoodie and bright hair gave it away. You were also standing pretty close to the feds and listening in.”

“Heh, we are pretty big in the rave scene. Chiyo's boyfriend deals with the uni scene and My boyfriend works the streets. So yeah, we can hook you up. Cash only, deposit up front” Mamio smiled a cool, professional smile that informed L he had been marked out as a potential customer already. 

These girls might think they had their shit together, but L found them sloppy. All it had taken to gain their trust was a bit of sass to Light, a few smiles and some acting. 

“Cool” L nodded “Urgh, I’ve got class. I would stay and chat to you more but I’m on my last warning for skipping” L finished off his pasta and slipped Chiyo a crisp note from his pocket “Money isn’t an issue. Just make sure the shit I get is pure... But...” L dropped down and whispered into the girl's ear “I wouldn’t mind some of the other cut pills If possible as well. I have someone I would like to give them to, Some Scottish prick. I’d like to see *him* foam at the mouth.”

Both girls grinned maliciously. Riam sounded just their type of guy. It was clearly fate they had met up! 

“Get in touch when it's sorted. See you later, ladies” L smiled and waved then turned and walked away from them. Once he was safely out of sight he dialled Light. 

“L! Fuck, what the hell have you-”

“Working, Light. Meet my by the fountain now, I’ve got a lead” 

L hung up and shivered slightly. A fresh spring breeze rustled through the trees and he didn’t even have a coat with him. He thought about the boxes littering his flat and sighed. He wasn't very good at unpacking. Perhaps he could bribe Matt and Mello with a few beers and a takeaway in exchange for their help? 

He spotted Light seated by the fountain, looking very out of place in his suit jacket and slacks. L headed over to him and dropped down next to him. He sat close to him, feeling his body heat seep into him. 

“Um” Light frowned and attempted to shuffle away, did L have no concept of personal space or something? It was just another odditty to add to the already long list of strange things about him. 

“No, stay there, please. I'm cold” L tilted his head and blinked as Light shrugged out of his coat. “What? No! I didn’t mean for you to-“

“It’s fine, L. I'm quite warm anyway” Light muttered awkwardly as he held the coat out to him. He tried not to think about those stupid Romcom movies where the guy leant the girl their jacket. This wasn’t a Romcom movie. He was lending L (a guy) his jacket because he was cold and he was a nice person. That was all there was too it. So his brain could just stop with the weird thoughts now, thank you. 

L pulled on Light's coat and smiled gratefully “Thank you, Light”

Light raised an eyebrow at the use of his first name. It seemed L had decided to drop the ‘Yagami-Kun’ completely. Somehow he didn’t mind that much. Perhaps it was just because L was strange and foreign? 

“Anyway. Care to explain to me why you just wandered off with those students? You really left me in the lurch you know” Light grumbled as he sat back down next to L. 

L swiftly explained why he had targeted Mamio and Chiyo and relayed everything he had found out. 

“Shit, L! That's incredible!” Light had to stop himself from grabbing L's shoulders in his excitement “So we need to go back and arrest them, right?”

L shook his head. “No, Light. They have incriminated themselves, yes, but only by what they have *said* I need to gain their trust and buy off them. They said their boyfriends supply the uni- once i have the drugs i will send them for testing”

Light let out a frustrated sigh, “Yeah, but what if someone else dies while we are waiting to make our move?”

“That would be unfortunate, Light, but you are failing to see the bigger picture here. If we want to convict and eradicate this dodgy drug supply we need to rip it out root and stem. Those girls are only the stem, if we were to arrest them now their boyfriends would go underground. That means they would still be operational. We must be patient, if we play this right we can get these drugs off the street in a month”

Light frowned and ran a hand through his hair. A month! How many more lives would be lost by then? L was staring up at him with an unreadable expression. 

“What?”

“I was just thinking I’ve seen the weakness holding you back. You want things solved *now* you are rather impatient, aren’t you? This case requires patience and cunning. Perhaps it is best you follow my lead on this”

Light bristled at the comment. How dare he?! 

“I’ve offended you. I apologise for that, I was just thinking out loud. Perhaps you will learn to be more patient working with me”

“Oh, I think i will require a *great* deal of patience to work with you, Lawliet” Light snapped in reply. 

L sighed and climbed to his feet “Light, I did not mean to offend you, I was offering advice. I am far from perfect myself you know. Im too rash and too impulsive, but if we are to better ourselves accepting our faults is necessary” 

Light was surprised L was admitting his faults so openly. He had to admit he didn’t take too kindly to criticism, perhaps that was why L's comment had cut so deeply? Or maybe it was because what L had said was *true* he did struggle to be patient at times... 

“You’re right. Im sorry. I guess im just not used to hearing someone say something like that to me. It's odd, you know, working with someone who is just so... Frank”

L graced him with a smirk “I’ve been called far worse things than ‘Frank’ Light. Shall we head back to the office?”

“Yeah, let's do some digging on the girls” Light hesitated as L went to remove his jacket “Keep it, I have another in the office. Return it when you buy your own later”

“You are very kind, thank you, Light” 

Light tried to ignore the heat that compliment brought to his cheeks. He nodded his head and walked back to his car. It was probably for the best to stop anylysing L's every word and their effect on him. Besides, they were going shopping together after work. Maybe he would use that time together to further unravel what was apparently a rather complex puzzle in the form of L Lawliet. 

 

********

 

Five Pm came around faster than L or Light had expected. They had spent the entire afternoon pouring over the girl's social media accounts. L even dedicated a good hour teaching Light the basics of hacking and coding. Light found himself in awe of L's skill and demanded to know where L had learnt such things. 

“I had a good friend who was big into computers. He taught me how to hack. After he died I stopped learning for a while. I couldn’t afford the tech anyway. Then my parent's inheritance was unfrozen when i reached 22. So, I just self-taught from there...”

Light had discovered L was an interesting mixture of open-book and well of secrets. L informed him his parents had died when he was six in a plane crash, and had left him the sole inheritor to a vast fortune. Unfortunately they had stipulated L could not access these funds until he was 22, which meant L had had to work two part time jobs to make ends meet and put himself through university. Light, who had had his fees paid up front, was astonished. 

“I don't regret it. It was hard work, but I learnt so much. I learnt how to survive” L smiled dryly “My Grandfather cut me off when my parents died. It was only when i graduated he deemed me worthy enough to bother with again. I suppose he thought i wouldn’t amount to much”

Light worried his lip. “Why would he think that?”

“I ran with the wrong crowd. My best friend, the hacker, he died of a drug overdose in our second year...” L paused and fixed Light with a solemn gaze “Please believe me when I say I am invested in this case on a personal level. I will do what it takes to get those drugs off the streets. I’ve seen first hand the devastation they cause”

Light, despite his earlier promise to not waste time analysing L, spent the reminder of his afternoon doing just that. 

Who was L Lawliet? Orphan, Hacker, Abandoned child, Quillish Wammy's Prodigy... He was someone who had grit their teeth and clawed their way out of poverty and hardship. Heir to a vast fortunate yet sloppily dressed and humble.   
It made Light's heart beat a little faster. He hadn't had to work so hard to understand someone in his life. L was a puzzle he was determined to solve... 

“Time to go” L shut down his computer “How about we grab a drink after shopping? Oh, unless you have to return home to your girlfriend?”

Light *did* say he would have dinner with her tonight but... Surely he could rearrange, just this once? 

“Sure. Let's push the boat out and grab some noodles or something too. Im starving”

L rewarded him with a bright smile that made Light's heart *thud* in his chest. 

“Great! My shout then, think of it as a thank you for taking me under your wing, Light”

Light cleared his throat and shot a quick text to Kiyomi. He was sure she would understand. Besides, he was just trying to get to know his new partner better. 

Surely there was no harm in that?


	4. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disturbed by his feelings for L and his own repressed memories, instead of growing closer to his new partner Light pushes him away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter touches on Internalized homophobia and Light's struggle to accept who he is, and how he feels about L. 
> 
> Also, Souichiro is an absolute bellend 😤

A soft fine rain fell as L and Light walked out of the office. Others who had finished their shifts rushed to their cars and sped off into the darkness. Light bit back a groan of annoyance as his father waved them over. He was hoping he would have headed home by now.

“Hey, Dad" Light greeted “This is L, my partner"

Souichiro Yagami's eyebrow raised at the intimate use of L's first name. Coming from Light he found it rather distasteful. Nevertheless, he had heard some very heartening things about the British Detective so he dipped his head in greeting.

“Senior Detective L Lawliet" Souichiro smiled “Kitamura has told me much about you"

L kept his face neutral, though he didn’t care much for the use of his full name and title.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Yagami-San" He answered, returning the chief's bow with a deeper one to signify his rank.

“How are you finding living in Japan, must be quite a change from London?”

Light glanced between his father and L in confusion. Since when did his father indulge in such ideal chitchat?

“It is taking some getting used to" L admitted, wondering why the chief seemed so interested in him. Was it because he was working with his son?

“Hmm. Light, will you be joining us for dinner?”  
Light shook his head “No, Dad. I promised mum I would come around tomorrow"

Souichiro nodded, appearing pleased “Ah, a romantic evening in with the lovely Miss Takada is it?”

“No, actually. L and I are going to do a bit of shopping, we'll grab food when we’re out"

L blinked at the sudden shift in Souichiro's demeanour. He almost felt *guilty* which was ridiculous considering he had done nothing wrong. He scuffed his feet as father and son met each other's eye. L wasn’t sure but he felt they were almost challenging each other about something...

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t make a habit out of it, Son, you know how people talk" Souichiro glanced at L meaningfully. 

“I’m sorry, I’m confused. Why would spending time together outside of work encourage people to talk?” L could tell Light was growing anxious by the cross examination, and he really did need to get some shopping done before the stores closed.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Lawliet-kun?”

L raised an eyebrow at the blunt question but shook his head in answer.

“Well, I know for a fact Misora has her eye on you. Perhaps I should put in a good word for you?”

L shook his head again “I’m not looking to date right now, Yagami-San, but thank you for the kind offer. Light, shall we go? We’ve only got a few hours before the stores close"

Light nodded and dipped his head at his father. L, still non-plused as to what the hell had even happened, smiled and followed Light.

Souichiro watched them climb into Light’s car with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had noticed the way his son looked at that foreigner and it disgusted him. His son looked at his partner the way he should be looking at that pretty girlfriend of his... Not to mention Lawliet had been spotted hanging out on the wrong side of town with two obviously homosexual acquaintances of his.

He would be having words with Kitamura first thing in the morning. If he discovered this Lawliet was homosexual there would be hell to pay. Light did not need such toxic influences in his life, not after what had happened with Yamomota....

‘No. Don’t think of that. He was a boy, he didn’t even understand what he was doing Souichiro comforted himself as he climbed into his car. Light was probably just being charitable in showing his new partner around... and Lawliet had not done, or said, anything that implied he was that way inclined.

At least, that was what he hoped.

 

************

 

As they sat in the car, L detected a certain hostility about Light. He didn’t think it was aimed at him, rather it was residual hostility regarding his father. L debated whether or not to bring it up, but as the tension deepened and they waited at yet another red light L's curiosity got the better of him.

“Light, why was your father so concerned about us going shopping together? He seemed almost...disgusted?”

‘Obviously you just had to pick that up, didn’t you, L?’ Light thought to himself, wondering how he could explain his father's behaviour.

“He is very set in his ways, that’s all. He probably thinks it’s not socially acceptable for two guys to go shopping and have dinner together or something”

L raised an eyebrow at that. Japanese businessmen did that all the time with their work colleagues! Most of them spent more time with the men they worked with than their own families, even he knew that.

“Work colleagues do that all the time, Light" L stared at the window and watched the patterns the rain made as it fell down the glass “He made me feel...like I was doing something wrong. I’m sorry if accepting your offer to help me shop was wrong in some way...I just wanted to get to know you better”

Light’s heart raced at the admission, but he made a pretty good attempt at not showing it. Pink tinged his cheeks as he cleared his throat.

“Me too, L, we are going to be work partners, It makes perfect sense to want to get to know you better. It's not like this is some kind of date or anything!”

L stared at Light blankly. Date? What the hell was he on about?

“Um, Right" L finally murmured, feeling at an utter loss as to what to say. Clearly Light and his father had some unresolved issues, and he would make certain in future he was not dragged into them.

“I’m going on a date tomorrow. With my girlfriend" Light suddenly blurted out. 

“...”

“Yeah, I’m going to take her for a meal then some drinks at a waterfront bar and then later...heh, probably shouldn’t even talk about what we will be doing later"

L yawned abruptly, completely shattering Light's vain attempt to appear ‘normal’ Light glanced at him. Had L even been listening to a word he had just said?

“That’s nice, Light, I’m sure you will have a lovely time. There is a bar called La Mode near the waterfront by. I went there last weekend with some friends. They do very good cheesecake" L let out another yawn and turned up the heater.

“Oh? I thought you only arrived here last weekend, did you meet your friends at the bar?” Light asked, unable to resist digging a little bit. Who were L's friends? He knew the waterfront bar they had gone to it and had a certain reputation... Surely L knew the implications of going there?

“I did, but Matt and Mello, they saw me struggling to move all my stuff in and helped me. We just clicked so I decided to thank them by taking them out for some drinks. They chose the bar since they’ve been there a few times" L shrugged his shoulder “It's got a really relaxed vibe about it. I’m sure you and your girlfriend would enjoy it"

Light sniffed. Was L really so fucking clueless? Of course he couldn’t take Kiyomi there, much less be seen there himself, since La Mode was well known as an unofficial gay venue.

“L, your friends...Are they...” Light floundered and waved his hand “You know...batting for the same team?”

L blinked before letting out a short of laughter “Batting for the same team? Jesus Christ, Light, you can say the word GAY you know, I promise you won’t go up in flames" L let out a cackle of delighted laughter. Suddenly it all made sense. Light and his father were probably concerned L's association with ‘such people’ would reflect badly on them.

How very sad.

“Of course they’re gay" L bit into a candy bar “You wouldn’t even be asking that question if you met Mello" L giggled “He's so flamboyant!”

Light swallowed thickly, what if L was... like them? Why did that thought both thrill and terrify him at the same time?

“Oh, this one here!” L pointed at the store “I am sorry if this is an inconvenience to you, Light... next time I will as Mel to come with me. He loves shopping"

“Course he does, he's a fag"

L's eyes narrowed into slits and Light could have smacked himself. Had he really said that out loud? 

‘Shit, he looks so pissed...’

“I believe I will be fine shopping by myself, Since appearances seem so important to you, perhaps I shouldn't be seen associating with a bigoted asshole .See you in work tomorrow, Yagami"

Light blinked in shock. L had already climbed out of the car, shrugged off his jacket and walked away from him.

“Hey! L, wait!” Light got out of the car, uncaring about the rain battering him as he tried to make amends. He hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant to push L away. Even if L was gay he still wanted to be his friend, perhaps if he could just sit him down and explain his history L would understand why he had said that?

L paused, glanced over his shoulder then walked away into the night.

Light sighed and wiped his hair out of his eyes. Why did he always fuck things up? He doubted L would hang around waiting for him, he would probably be calling Matt and Mello to come join him.

Yamomoto’s face flashed before his eyes and he slammed his fist down onto the horn in frustration. 

“Fuck this! This was just a stupid mistake, I shouldn’t even want to spend time with him outside of work! Fucking foreign weirdo!”  
The angry words made him feel better as he sped off into the night. He would surprise Kiyomi, have a good stuff drink and bed his beautiful girlfriend like any other normal young man...  
Because that was what he was. Normal. 

Light wiped at his eyes angrily. Why the fuck was he even crying? How was it ever since he met Lawliet everything felt so fucked up. He couldn’t get the dark eyes detective out of his mind...

It wasn’t until he pulled up to his flat did he allow himself to admit the truth, for just a moment before he buried it again; he was attracted to L. Just like he'd been attracted to Yamomoto...

*flashback*

At 13 years old Light Yagami was pretty certain of what he wanted in life. He wanted to become a detective like his dad. He wanted to do well in school and remain top of his class.

And he also wanted to be Yamomoto's best friend forever. They were close, too close his father would later say, and did everything together. One night, during a sleepover Light asked his best friend if he had ever had a crush on someone before.

Yamomoto's face had flushed so red Light had teased him about turning into a tomato. Bravery or foolishness guided his next actions. Without thinking he took his friends face in his hands and kissed him.

Yamomoto's lips on his felt so strange, but also *right* as far as Light was concerned there was nothing wrong with wanting to kiss another boy. He had wanted to kiss his friend for months.  
As Yamomoto responded Light’s bedroom door opened. The boys pulled apart, guilt and shock frozen on their faces as Souichiro Yagami dropped the tray of juice he had been holding-

*End Flashback* 

Light flinched as that sound, the sound of the tray clattering to the floor and of glass shattering, echoed through his mind.

He had promised his father he would never make such a mistake again. He was a good boy, a normal boy...

Light buried his head in his hands and sobbed bitterly. He had never felt such a fraud in his entire life.

“Light, Honey, is that you?”

Light frowned and wiped his eyes as Kiyomi poked her head out of his apartment door.  
Light forced a smile as he climbed out of the car. He pulled Kiyomi into his arms and kissed her.

“Light, have you been crying?” Kiyomi whispered, her beautiful blue eyes widening in concern at how red and puffy Light’s eyes were.

“Allergies, Babe" Light cleared his throat “Damn what a day I’ve had. I’m glad to be home"

Kiyomi cooed in sympathy and guided him inside.   
“You sit down with a beer and I will run you a bath"

Light closed his eyes as she deposited him on the sofa with a sweet kiss to his forehead. 

‘Damn you, L. Why did you make me think of shit I’ve kept boxed up for so long. I can’t go back to that. I won’t go back to it!’ Light took a long swig of beer and forced himself to calm down. He would apologize to L in the morning, then he would quietly have a word with his father and ask to be assigned another partner.

L stirred up too many feelings Light wasn’t prepared to deal with it. It would be for the best if he just tried to pretend today never happened...


	5. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets never stay secret for long. Why did L leave England? Is he gay? How does Light feel about that? Is Light gay? There's a lot going on, that's for sure!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know how you feel about the direction the story is going in.I am trying to portray internalized homophobia and Light's state of denial accuractly, as well as show how the fall in love gradually.
> 
> This is going to be a slow build so don't expect any smut for a good few chapters yet (sorry, smut fans) Light needs to accept who he is before that can happen, but It will be worth the wait!

As soon as Light has driven off L called his friends. He relayed most of the story (he didn’t want to upset them by informing them Light had insulted them personally) and within twenty minutes Mello was rushing towards him, Matt trudging behind him sleepily.

“I’m sorry, guys, I know you were working late last night...”

“Don’t be daft, don’t worry about Matty he hardly ever looks awake anyway. Let’s get your work stuff sorted. You just leave it to me, I know Anna who works here she’s a doll. It will take an hour tops, money’s not an issue for you, right?”

L sighed as two young women immediately looked over at him in interest. Fuck sake.

“Let’s just get what I need, I will tell you everything then" L muttered, walking swiftly away from the women who were making a beeline for him. He didn’t have the time or energy to deal with that shit. 

With Anna's help L had burned through an impressive sum of money. He now had everything he needed. Suits, jackets, jumpers, shirts, jeans, boots, slacks... He even decided to splash out on a huge curved tv with surround sound for his flat. Mello swiftly took over the home decor shopping and on L's behalf purchased throws in soft teal and dove grey, candles and other niceties to make L's sparse apartment more homely.

L let him carry on and slumped down next to Matt.

“Matt...do you and Mello have a lot of stick for being gay?”

Matt raised an eyebrow, surprised at L's question. He shrugged his shoulders and wished for the hundredth time he could smoke in the store. Mello was on a role, ordering Anna to find this and that without a care in the world for L's bank card.

“I guess it depends. Like where we are. The neighbours aren’t keen. Mello gets called ‘fag' a lot. We moved here with our eyes wide open, L, the Japanese aren’t as tolerant of homosexuality as the British but it’s just something you get used to"

L nodded and nibbled on his thumb thoughtfully.  
“Why do you ask? You don’t care that we’re gay, right?”

L's eyes widened “No! Of course I don’t! Look, Matt, I don’t tend to talk about it much because it's...complicated, and that is putting it mildly, but I’m bisexual and my ex...urgh, he's got a major screw loose. Anyway, he used to call me a ‘fag-in-denial' for being bisexual. It hurt...so I do understand how you and Mello must feel”

Matt had to admit he was surprised. Personally he had pegged L as either straight and uninterested or downright asexual. 

“I’m sorry, your ex sounds like a douchebag" Matt offered L a small smile “Reason you left England?”

L hunched his shoulders in defeat “The main reason, yeah. He was...possessive, jealous, controlling the whole works. I felt like I couldn’t breath between him and Quillish. And now I’ve argued with Light-"

Matt hid a smile. He suspected L had feelings for this Light guy, even if he had yet to realise it himself. There was little other explanation for how hurt L was by the biggot's words.

“Nearly done!” Mello called over “L, um, is £200,000 Okay?”

L rolled his eyes at Mello's hesitant tone “Fine, just finish up soon, I’m starving...and I could really do with a drink"

Matt perked up at that “Oh, La Mode?”

“Yup" L smiled, thinking back to Light's concerns about his reputation, “I think it’s fast becoming my favourite hang out spot"

Mello finished up ‘his’ shopping and L arranged for his purchases to be delivered to his apartment. Unpacking would have to wait till another day. 

The three friends made their way to La Mode, and despite it being a weekday, decided jagerbombs were just the thing to perk them up.  
A decision all three would deeply regret the next morning...

 

************

 

L moaned pitifully as he slouched in his seat. He had had to take the train to work, there was no physical way he could drive. Every time he moved his head too quickly the world spun sickeningly. He dreaded to think what level he'd blow on a breathalyser...

He got off a stop earlier just so he could stock up on an extra large mocha and a box of chocolate croissants. He was going to need them.  
Dressed in smart black slacks and a grey cashmere jumper, L at least felt like he looked the part today. Hopefully that would compensate for his banging headache. He attracted an admiring glance from Misora as he greeted her.

“Looking sharp, has my angst-ridden teen grown up so soon?”

L flushed, embarrassed by the way her eyes seemed to look through his clothes and straight to his bare skin. Misora was a flirt, and it was fairly obvious to everyone he was in her sights.

“I actually just got round to doing some shopping, I thought I would save the angst-ridden teen thing for the weekend, Misora-San... I hope you aren’t too disappointed?”

Light looked up from his spot by the photocopier, blowing his cover as he pretended not to be eavesdropping. 

“Morning, L" Light muttered, wondering what kind of reception he would receive.

“Morning, Yagami-Kun" L dipped his head, voice far cooler than when he had spoken to Misora “I’d like to get an early start on the Roofie case, see you later"

Light shut his eyes and forced himself to remain calm. He would not let L's semi-public snub get to him.

“Sure thing" Light smiled brightly. L raised a brow, and Light felt as if L could see right through him.  
Did L see through his smiles and conformity? Or did he just want him to?

“Hey, if your free for lunch?”

L shrugged his shoulder. “Yeah, sure. As long as I haven’t died by then" L leaned closer and whispered into Misora's ear “I’m a bit hungover"

Light’s stomach clenched at the intimate way L whispered into Misora's ear. What the hell was L trying to prove? That he was normal, that he could get Misora Massacre in the sack or something?

L left Misora blushing winningly and strode into his office. He shut the door behind him.

“Hey, Yagami. I don’t know what you’ve done to piss him off but keep it up! That’s the longest I’ve got to speak to him this week" Misora giggled. Misa, the dumb as a bag of rocks receptionist, joined her in her giggles and Light clenched his jaw in annoyance. Fucking women.

He scooped up his documents and went to his office. It was time he and L had a chat and cleared the air.

Light opened the door and quickly scanned the room. L was already typing away on his laptop, phone cradled between his shoulder and his ear.

“Matt, just tell him to do what he wants with it. He’s an interior designer. Yes, I don’t care. No, wait. I do care. Don’t let him near my bedroom. I don’t even understand why he wants to work on my apartment, how is he not dying like the rest of us?”

Light cleared his throat to announce his presence and sat down at his desk. He looked through his paperwork to at least look like he was doing something rather than just eavesdrop on L's conversation with ‘Matt’

“Hmm? What do you mean they just arrived. Is there a card?” 

Light flicked his eyes to L's face and noticed he had gone pale. His eyes were wide with distress.  
“Matt, open the card and read what it says to me...” 

Whatever Matt had said in reply made L bury his head in his hands and murmur “Fuck” under his breath. 

L finished the call abruptly and stared down at his phone.

“Bad news?”

Slowly, L turned to stare at Light. His usually lively charcoal eyes looked flat. Hollow even...  
“The worst" L finally replied in a strained whisper “Yagami-Kun, would you mind if we drop by my apartment before we go to the Uni. There’s something I need to check up on"

Light sighed and nodded his head. Whatever had happened had shifted L's priorities. He supposed he would just have to wait until later to try and clear the air then...

“Thanks...” L took a long draught of coffee “Um...I’m sorry I stormed off last night. I was angry at the homophobic slur you used. Before we go to my apartment I just want you to know two things: One, I’m bisexual and two, my best friends are a gay couple. If you have a problem with that I suggest you keep such thoughts to yourself. Where I come from, being gay, bi or whatever you identify as is acceptable. I could have reported you for hate speech for using that word. However, I am aware I am not home, and that Japanese society is...less tolerant of such things. I haven’t known you very long but I felt like I knew you in a way. For you to turn around and be so closed minded...it hurt me"

Light swallowed hard. L had just laid all his cards on the table with an openness which was breath-taking in it’s sincerity. 

“L, I am so sorry, so fucking sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you or offend you... I...didn’t mean to. I don’t think any less of you for you saying your bisexual, but the thing is...could you maybe not tell my Father that? He won’t let me work with you if he found out. He’s very homophobic-"

L snorted and dragged a hand through his hair. Light tried not to think about how soft L's hair looked...tried not to imagine what it smelt like...  
“Sure. My sexuality is my business anyway, however, I will not lie about it either. If I ever feel ready to date again I will date whom I want, be it a male or a female. So if you and your father can’t handle that then I suggest you either request another partner now or hold your peace"

Light cut straight to the most important bit “Who hurt you, L?”

L blinked in surprise, and was mortified to feel the hot sting of tears in his eyes.

“It...it doesn’t matter! Just remember what I’ve said. Let’s get going. Your driving, I got the train in" L sniffed and wiped at his eyes angrily “Please, just...don’t ask why I’m crying"

Light was on his feet before he realised what he was doing. His heart pounded in his chest as he pulled L up from his desk and unfolded him in his arms.

‘Shit...it feels good...His hair...’ Light indulged himself and buried his nose in L's hair ‘Fuck, it smells like cherries...’

L couldn’t stop himself from locking up. It was ridiculous, he knew logically it was absurd, but Light’s stature, his muscle tone, his very embrace just felt like *his*

“Get off me!” L shoved Light away “Don’t touch me, Please, don’t touch me!”

Light backed away, his eyes wide in understanding. Whoever L's ex was, they had really hurt him.

“I’m sorry, L. I swear to you, I don’t mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you" Light babbled.  
L's eyes snapped up to Light's. Those were the exact same words he had said. They sent a shiver down his spine.

“Let’s just get to work" L looked away from Light, appearing flustered.

Light wanted to press L for details, but he knew L wouldn’t tell him anything. They left the office and L sullenly munched on croissants until they pulled up at a series of high rise apartment blocks overlooking the Rainbow Bay.

“Nice area" Light commented, hoping to fill the silence. L ignored him and climbed out of the car.

“These are some nice flats. When I first moved out of home I had my eye on one. Well out of my price league. Probably still are" Light continued and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, ‘Come on, L, talk back'

“They’re fine. Quiet" L replied dismissively “Are you armed?”

Light blanched ‘What the *fuck*, L?!’

“I will take that as a yes” L nodded. He glanced around the private car park, hyper alert for the slightest hint at his presence. When they had made it into the foyer L pressed the button for the lift and closed his eyes. It wasn’t even ten am and he had had a guts full of today.

“L" Light whispered. In the close confines of the lift his voice seemed to carry more than it should “I still want to be your friend. Please forgive me"

‘Dammit, Light' L thought, as he gazed up into those enthralling Amber eyes “Fine. Yes, we will try and be friends. Let’s put yesterday behind us"  
Light’s face lit up and L forced a cool smile. The lift pinged as it reached the top floor.

“Stay alert, Beyond might still be hanging around" L warned as he stepped out of the lift and glanced around the deserted corridor.

“Beyond?!” Light raised an eyebrow as he thought what a stupid name that was.

L ignored his question and headed to the penthouse suite. He used his thumb print to let himself in and Light followed, in awe of the high tech systems L had installed.

“Finally! Jeez, L, what took you so long!”

Light blinked as an androgynous looking male sashayed towards them. He was wearing tight leather pants, a baby blue silk shirt and a pink feather boa.

“Mello, show me the flowers and card" L didn’t bother to greet his friend “I need to make sure you are safe from him, I will install a security link between our apartments later" L was muttering under his breath as he carefully examined the bouquet of blood red roses.

Light quietly approached L so he could read the brief note attached:

‘You can run, but you can’t hide, Dearest Lawliet xxx’

Light swallowed thickly as he imagined his partner being stalked by some relentless ex boyfriend. It turned his stomach to ice, and without even realising it he had clenched his hands into fists.

“Oh, is this the homophobe?”

L blushed in embarrassed surprise as Mello walked straight up to Light and took the measure of him with one sweep of his clear blue eyes.  
“Tch, classic closet case" Mello diagnosed. He ignored Light's splutters of outrage and pulled L into the flat with him.

Light had no choice but to follow them into L's flat. If his father found out what he knew now about L and his friends...

‘He’d just flip his shit the same way he did when he caught me kissing Yamomoto' Light thought sadly. 

He distracted himself by looking around L's flat. The main living space was decorated in neutral, soothing colours. A huge TV and surround system dominated the living room, as did a plush grey leather sofa.  
Teal cushions, throws , candles and other accessories were dotted around the room and Light had to admit L's apartment was a hell of a lot nicer than his.

“Matt, Mello, this is Light Yagami, my partner. Light, this is Matt and Mello"

Light bowed deeply as L looked at him in astonishment. 

“Nice to meet you” Light swallowed down his nervousness. Just how much had L told his friends about him?

Matt and Mello just stared at Light for a good few seconds before turning their attention back to L.

“L, I think you should sleep at ours tonight, just in case"

L shook his head, “No, I will not burden you or myself. And I won’t give him the satisfaction of disturbing my life anymore either. I’m going to try and finish work early, set up the surveillance. Matt, if you need a gun let me know, I can kit you out. You too, Mello. I have only told you the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Beyond. He is *dangerous* and I would feel more secure if you were at least armed"

“Don’t worry about us, Hon, my shit is custom"  
L barked our a surprised laugh as Mello revealed two flashy, pimped out golden pistols slung low on his hips.

Light shook his head. Was this really happening? Who the hell were these guys?

“Relax, L. I can handle him" Matt soothed “You just concentrate on settling in, and don’t worry about us, okay?”

L offered his friend a grateful smile “I am so fucking lucky I met you guys...”

Mello smirked “Naturally, we love you too, L. Same can’t be said for Mr tall, auburn and pouty over there.”

Light flushed in anger. He was about to open his mouth and chew Mello out for being such a rude asshole when L rested a hand on his arm. He instantly bit back on his words.

“He’s alright, guys. He didn’t mean to insult me or you with what he said. We’ve moved past that, and he is my work partner so play nice"

Mello huffed. There went his elaborate plans of revenge...

Light swallowed thickly and did something he never thought he would do. He bowed his head deeply to Matt and Mello and apologised. If his father saw him doing this...

“It’s cool, man" Matt’s keen green eyes met his and Light *knew* the Brit could see his own shameful secret.

“Maybe go out and suck a dick or something, you're clearly craving it" Mello sniffed and flounced back into his flat.

L blanched and stared at Light in uncertainty. Where they going to discuss the elephant in the room (which was Light’s blatant homosexuality and his rejection of it) or where they just going to pretend it didn’t exist and head to work?

“We should get going" Light cleared his throat “We have a lot to get done today"

L sighed. Right, they were going to pretend it didn’t exist and head to work.

‘You are denying who you are, Light... and it isn’t going to work out well for you. I actually feel very sorry for you’ L thought as he dumped the roses in a nearby bin on the way to Light’s car.

He kept the card. It was potential evidence.

“L, can we just... gloss over the last 24 hours" Light asked, his stomach churning at Mello's words.

“No, because they happened. However, if you want to try and ignore them and pretend they didn’t happen, that is up to you. I will not bring anything up again, but allow me to say this: the longer you deny who you are the worse you will feel. Your poisoning yourself, Light, and in the end the only person who will suffer is *you*”

Light dipped his head in acknowledgement. They were wise words, but he wasn’t like L or Mello or Matt. He wasn’t gay. The...urges he had were not normal. He would book an extra therapy session. He would fuck Kiyomi more. Maybe he should distance himself from L and his friends a bit more...

As Light mused on what he should do L gazed at him with a sad expression.

‘He will do ANYTHING except accept who he truly is...’

And that thought hurt L more than he thought it would...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated, as is constructive criticism. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!


	6. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light secure their sample but L's methods leave a bad taste in Light's mouth. After a few too many beers Light makes a move he instantly regrets, and L begins to realise he's starting to develop feelings for him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter so far! L and Light start catching feelings for one another *squeals*
> 
> Seriously though, Light is going to go through a LOT in his journey to accept himself and L has still got the Beyond Birthday issue to deal with...
> 
> It's going to be angsty ahead boys and girls!

L swiped his hair out of his eyes, clipped in the fake lip ring and scrutinized his appearance. He could easily pass for a teenager, and he was confident in his acting skills. What he wasn’t confident in was what he would have to *do* to secure the drugs.

Chiyo had become increasingly flirtatious in her text messages, and although it irked him, L had felt it necessary to return the flirtation. It was a means to an end, and if he could hold his nerves and score the drugs he needed, it might save lives. That was the only thing he cared about. He'd seen the latest victims autopsy photos and report. They were all the motivation he needed to get this shit off the streets.

‘If I have to kiss her I can do that’ L reassured himself ‘If she wants anything else though...I will have to find a way to distract or disengage...’

L sighed as he spotted Light glowering at him through the mirror. Obviously Light didn’t approve of L's tactics, and had even voiced his disapproval to Kitamura on the sly. L had responded by pulling rank and charming Kitamura to see things from his point of view. Light had been so brilliantly outmanovered he had no choice but to follow L's lead on his ‘innovative investigational’ techniques. L had given him the biggest shit-eating grin as Kitamura praised his dedication and green lighted his undercover op.

“Stop pouting, Light. You will not be the one at risk, all you have to do is keep to yourself and keep your eyes peeled" L muttered as he added the finishing touches to his ensemble. He looked much like he had done on his first day at The Tokyo Met, save for an added leather jacket and a pair of grungy Doc Martin’s.

“You said you didn’t request to partner me to pull rank, yet that is exactly what you did" Light muttered sullenly.

L snorted in amusement “Yeah well, that’s what you get for going behind my back, Light. Fair’s fair, act like a dick to me and I will repay you in kind"

Light grumbled into his coffee cup. He couldn’t really argue with that, could he?

“Look, L, I’m just worried about you, okay? What if you find yourself in a situation that’s over your head?”

L turned to him, his grey eyes shimmering with amusement and fondness at Light’s admission of concern for him, “That is why you will be with me. I’m sorry I pulled rank, but this is important. More important than seniority. I’m relying on you to have my back, Light, the same way I have yours"

Light found a smile at that. If there was one thing he had always been envious of with the seniors in his department was the comradery they had with their partners. Now he had that for himself, and it felt just as good as he imagined it would. 

L checked his phone and frowned. Chiyo wanted to know where he was. 

“We’d best go, don’t forget to wear the wig, Alexander"  
Light rolled his eyes and pulled on his short blonde wig. Dressed in baggy jeans and a too-big t-shirt, he felt sloppy and somehow obnoxious, but then that was what he was going for. He would be a fellow international student, Alexander Hurtz and acquaintance of Riam (Liam) Ashcroft.

“Don’t forget to speak German" L giggled as Light pulled a face at his reflection.

“Ich kann Deutsch sprechen" (I can speak German) Light replied smoothly, feeling a flush of pride as L smiled in surprise.

“Ich Kann auch Deutsch sprechen, aber... ziemlich schlecht" (I can speak German too, but quite badly) L answered in slightly hesitant German.

Light grinned at his partner. He hadn’t been expecting L to reply to him in kind. He couldn’t help but wonder how many languages L could speak. Since they had a little time to kill as they waited for their ride to the house party, Light decided he might as well try and smooth things over and get to know L a bit more.

“How many languages can you speak, L?”

L nibbled a finger as he considered “Four? No, five including English"

Light deflated slightly. Damn, did L have to be better than him at everything?

“English, Russian, French, Japanese and Italian" L recited “Oh, and rather poor German. What about you?”

Light mumbled “Japanese, German and English" in reply.

“I guess I’m just going to have to hope my German doesn’t let us down" L smiled, picking up on Light's feelings of inferiority and doing his best to soothe them “Help me out if I fuck up, yeah?”

Light brightened at that and L was struck by just how *handsome* his partner was...

‘NO, NO, NO! Do not go there, L' L warned himself and averted his gaze from that radiant smile. 

“Lifts here" L cleared his throat “Let’s do this. If we play this right we might just end up saving lives”

Light nodded, his face serious as he slipped into the ‘Moody, antisocial gamer’ persona. They left the office together and if they were standing a little closer than usual neither felt the need to comment on it.

They were just partners who were maybe on their way to becoming friends. That was all there was too it...right?

 

**********

 

“There he is!” Maimo whispered to her friend, pointing at Riam as he and his friend wandered into the kitchen, laughing and joking together like typical teenage boys.

“Do I look Okay?” Chiyo whispered, tugging her purple top just a little lower so the tempting curve of her breasts showed.

“You look cute, Chiyo-chan, and remember: what Matsu doesn’t know won’t hurt him! Go get him!”

Chiyo placed a sticky, lip-gloss kiss to her friends cheek and hurried over to Riam.

“Heeeey, you made it" She smiled brightly “Whose your friend?” Chiyo looked at the blonde boy uncertainly. She had *stuff* for Riam, and with all the cops sniffing around she certainly wasn’t going to hand it over if she wasn’t sure his friend was cool. Discreetly she shook her head at a boy loitering by the beer keg.

“This is Alex, he’s part of the International Soc too” L picked up on the girl's hesitation and leaned closer to her, whispering softly into her ear to create a feeling of intimacy “He’s the one who wants some of the dodgy gear, we have a score to settle with someone, don’t worry he’s cool"

Chiyo nodded, her bright smile back in place “Nice to meet you, Alex!”

“Yeah, you too" Light spared the girl a glance. His irritation at her wasn’t even faked. She was resting one hand on L's arm in a distinctly proprietary way. 

“He’s German" L excused with a crooked smile.

“Heh, course" Chiyo tried to sound like she got the joke “What you drinking?”

“Anything with alcohol in it" L muttered, looking a bit put out “Seriously, I’ve had a shit day"

“Oh no! Why Babe?”

Light’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance as he watched Chiyo simper over L as he made some excuse about missing a deadline and getting locked out of dorms. The girl ate it right up, her hand sliding further up L's arm in ‘sympathy'

‘Stupid bitch, he’s only playing you. He doesn’t like you at all, so stop batting your eyelashes like a retarded camel’ Light took a swig of lukewarm beer and did his best to hide his grimace. Fucking kids with their warm beer, stupid music and stupid fucking drugs! 

“Yeah, sure, Vodka and any kind of fruit juice" L smiled sweetly at the swooning girl “I know it’s a bit girly but I just really like sweet things...like you"

‘Oh for fuck’s sake!’ Light had to satisfy himself with an internal eye roll as Chiyo let out some kind of delighted squeak and rushed to get L a drink. L used the moment of reprieve to lean close to Light.

“Light, keep tabs on the boy in the green shirt, he’s eyeballing us. I suspect he’s carrying" L flawlessly ended his statement with a soft laugh, which Light returned on cue.

“Riam, Dude, you’ve got to show me how you did that some time" Light chugged the rest of his beer back “This shit isn’t cutting it, thought you said you could hook me up, man?” Voice just a little too loud, Light slumped against the table, even grumbling in German as he knocked a few glasses over.

Aha. That got green shirts attention. Like a shark he circled closer. Through his bangs L noted the slight nod of his head at Chiyo. He was asking her to vouch for him.

Chiyo gave what was supposed to be a subtle nod back as she returned with their drinks.

“This is Bri, he can hook you up" Chiyo muttered into L's ear “Good and bad, yeah”

L forced himself to smile. What an idiot this girl was. Good and bad? Did she really have no concept how fucking deadly her shitty chemically-laden drugs were? Was she so stupid she didn’t realise by slinging this dope she was actively responsible for four people’s deaths? Or even more concerning was the alternative; perhaps she just didn’t care.

“Yeah, good for me, bad for him" L flicked his eyes to Light. Bri reached into his jeans pocket and swiftly pulled out two small baggies. He passed the white pills to L and double checked Light’s.

‘The cut drugs have small X's on them’ L catalogued the different automatically.

“Hate to be the bro your given these to. Usually just reserve ‘em for the skint kids and the tweaked out junkies" Bri snorted as he handed Light his bag.

“Yeah well, I’ve got a score to settle" Light gave a vicious little smile “Anyway, you don’t know I have these or what I’m planning to do, and I don’t know your slinging. Right?”

“Right" Bri gave Light a fist-bump.

“£100?" L asked, rubbing at his arm. His wires were in place, recording everything he needed to get these idiots locked up for a long time.

“Yeah, Bro. Chi said your cool, like rich as fuck. You slinging?”

L smirked “No. Mummy and Daddy were rich and now Mummy and Daddy are *dead*” L pocketed the bag “I’ve paid up front, as a gesture of trust. I’m particular, if I don’t like your shit I won’t be buying from you again" L warned.

“Nah, man, that stuff is good dust, swear down! Like I said, the shit is being slung to the dregs. They can’t afford the decent stuff and as long as they get a hit they don’t give a fuck what it’s cut with"

L smiled and took a small sip of his vodka and pineapple juice. Chiyo bumped into his side and he realised he needed to pay her a bit more attention. He bumped her back and grinned at her. 

“What are these cut with?” Light gestured vaguely towards his jeans pocket.

“Rat poison, talc, some other shit. I dunno, it’s my job to sell it so I do, i don't ask questions"

‘He’s getting defensive, Light. Back away from that’ L shot Light a warning look. Light responded by grabbing another beer and chugging it back.

Luckily, or unluckily for L, Chiyo provided the perfect distraction by tugging on his sleeve. L turned his head to look at her and stiffened as he felt a pair of lip-gloss coated lips reach up and find his own.

L did his best to shut out Light and brought a hand to the nape of her neck. He allowed her to deepen the kiss and sucked on her tongue, thoughts racing through his mind.

‘I wonder if Matsu knows she’s making a play for me. I could use this to draw him out...What man wouldn’t want to confront the guy his girlfriend is cheating on him with?’

“Wanna head upstairs?”

The lust filled purr against his ear sent his thought processes screeching to a halt.

‘Oh, shit. Think!’ L kissed her again, stalling for time as he weighed up his options. When he pulled away he plastered an expression of regret on his face and tenderly traced her lips with a finger.

“I want to, but I can’t. You have a boyfriend, Chiyo, and where I’m from it’s seen as... shameful almost, to steal another guys girl from him, not to mention it is seen as disrespectful to the girl. I respect you too much to even consider it, but... If you ever ditch Matsu though...” L left the words hanging. Predictable as ever, the girl swallowed the bait. L was grateful she did, if she had more common sense she would have been able to see through the total bullshit he just said.

“Really? That’s so awesome! You Brits have such wonderful morals! Yes, I will end things with him! And then we can be together, right, Riam?”

L smiled thinly “Right"

Light swallowed his last mouthful of beer, a distinctly sour taste in his mouth as Chiyo wrapped her arms around L's waist and kissed him again.

 

**********

 

Light was strangely quiet on the way back to the office. L sat next to him, wondering why Light seemed off with him. Was it because Chiyo had kissed him? Why would Light feel the need to be jealous of that? And why did he feel the need to reassure him it meant nothing anyway?

“Light, I was wondering, your girlfriend Kiyomi... is she very understanding? We’ve been putting some long hours in at the moment to solve this case. If you like I can head back to the office and drop the samples off for analysis?”

Light's grip on his soda tightened slightly “It’s fine. She understands. She knows how important my job is to me"

‘Plus the later I’m out the less chance I have of having to sleep with her’ Light thought, a small shiver of disgust running through him as he remembered eating her out the other day. She had insisted and he had loathed every second of it.

“Okay" L let it drop and drop it did, like a lead balloon. He was beginning to suspect everything wasn’t exactly a bed of roses in Light Yagami and Kiyomi Takada’s relationship. But then, if Light was a closet homosexual then that was entirely understandable. There relationship was just some elaborate rouse to fool Light into believing he was ‘normal’ L sighed and shook his head at that. He felt a pang of sympathy for his friend.

Maybe in time Light would find the courage to be true to himself. He was only 23, He had his whole life ahead of him. L made a silent wish for Light to one day accept who he was and live a happier life because of it.

It was pushing twelve by the time they arrived back at the office. They logged in their evidence in between yawns and added to their report. It was 1 am before they were finally done, and L found himself dozing off in the car on the way home.

He startled and awoke abruptly when he sensed Light leaning towards him. What was he doing?! For one breathless moment L thought Light was moving in for a kiss.

“S-sorry, you had a spider in your hair, I didn’t mean to startle you"

L blinked. That was plausible, he supposed. And he was just too tired to consider the alternative reason right now. That could wait for another day.

“I’m not coming in till midday tomorrow" L changed the subject “Kitamura can kiss my ass if he thinks I’m working till this time of night then coming in for nine"

Light let out a scandalized laugh “L! You can’t just dictate the hours you work"

L turned sleep, sultry eyes to him and Light’s breath caught in his throat. L looked so damn cute...

“Watch me, Light" L offered a small smile. The driver pulled up at L's apartment and Light insisted on walking him back to his flat. It had been a few weeks since Beyond’s threat and there had been no sign of him since, but neither of them were foolish enough to let their guard down.

They walked through the quiet foyer and took the lift in companiable silence. L was slumped against the glass at this point, dreaming about curling up under his warm, soft and comfy goose feather duvet...

When Light leaned towards him again there could be no excuses. L's drooping eyelids snapped open as he felt the softest brush of lips across his. A *jolt* ran through him at the feeling and before he even knew what he was doing he was opening his mouth and sighing when Light's tongue met his...

Light jerked away as if he had been burnt, face red and eyes wide and horrified at the slip up.

L kept his face carefully blank as he examined Light. He saw regret, panic but also longing in the other man’s eyes.

“L, I...I shouldn’t have done that. I’m drunk, I’m tired and I’m not thinking straight"

‘Obviously you're not thinking straight if your kissing *me*’ L thought automatically. He kept his face neutral as he slowly nodded his head. He tried to ignore the way his heart was racing. He could still taste warm beer and coffee on his lips. Unconsciously he wet his lips and watched Light's eyes dart down to his tongue. Fuck. Time to go! 

“I uh, yeah. Yeah. See you tomorrow" L fled into his apartment and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it and struggled to collect himself.

“Oh fuck, I’m getting feelings for him" L whispered in horror. “Way to fucking go, Lawliet. Crushing on the homophobic closet case who just happens to be your work partner. Fucking classic!”

L closer his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He was fine. He would not entertain thoughts of Light that way. Light had his own shit to deal with and so did he.  
Maybe it was time to try dating someone else? Distract himself from Light maybe... L thought about the Hot Russian guy who was always flirting with him at La Mode...

‘Not a good idea, if he so much as touches you your gonna have a panic attack’ L's brain piped up ‘Not fair on you or him. Go to sleep. Think on it tomorrow’

“Thank you, brain, good advice" L mumbled. Without bothering to turn on the lights, change or even brush his teeth, he stumbled to his bedroom and fell on the bed. He barely managed to set his alarm for the next morning before he passed out.

Light, meanwhile, was having his own existential crises. He sat next to the driver but didn’t talk to him, he was so lost in his wildly careening thoughts.  
‘Why did I do that? Shit, I was worried about him coming onto me and I went and kissed him! What an idiot! Oh fuck, I’ve got to book in more therapy. Starting tomorrow. I can’t be gay. I can’t be!’

Light curled his fingers into the palms of his hands, nails cutting into his skin.

‘I am not gay. Dad said I was just confused. L just confuses me, that’s all. Any feelings I have for him are *wrong* he is a man just like I am’

Light spent the reminder of his journey home repeating that mantra over and over again. When he got home he made a point of waking Kiyomi up with kisses. Tired, but eager for his affection, she welcomed him into her arms and sighed as he entered her. Light kept his eyes screwed tight shut as he carassed her breasts (breasts because she is a woman and I am NORMAL) and pumped his hips. Her breath caught and she dug her nails into his back as he pounded Into her.

She couldn’t believe how virile Light was being (she had often worried he didn’t really seem into it) and cried out in encouragement as Light hooked her legs around his waist to plunge inside her deeper.

“Oh, Light! Yes! Oh, god!” 

Light grit his teeth to ignore her raptouras cries as he forced himself to keep kneading her breasts, keep remembering she was a woman and keep thoughts of *him* out of his mind.

It didn’t work. He groaned heavily as his mind hijacked him, supplying him with erotic images of him pinning L to the bed and pounding into his ass, L's charcoal eyes wide and glazed with lust as he whispered his name.

Light came with a yell, satisfaction crackling through him as he emptied himself into L's body...

And then reality hit. Kiyomi was beneath him, not L. Kiyomi was panting into his neck, not L.

Light withdrew and gave her a disinterested kiss goodnight. He lay in the darkness and focussed on how he felt.

Empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo.... Work's going to be interesting for them tomorrow isn't it? :D


	7. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light pisses L off by refusing to acknowledge the kiss. Chiyo is blowing up L's phone, and L is asked out by Anton , the hot Russian guy. Amidst all these games being played, L finds himself close to breaking point and decides to take matters into his own hands to distance himself from Light- for both of their sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand we have the fallout from the kiss!

Light was in work for nine am sharp, as usual. He had to admit to himself he was both grateful and disappointed when half nine rolled around and there was still no sign of L showing up for work.

‘Guess he was serious when he said he wasn’t coming in early today... wonder if he will get in trouble for it?’

Light smirked at the thought. He doubted it, L was Kitamura’s little prodigy, anything he did was seen as golden by the guy.

Speaking of...

Light sat up a little straighter and offered Kitamura and his father a warm smile as they entered his office.

“Morning Kitamura-san, Dad"

“Morning, Yagami-Kun, I’ve just relieved an email from L going over what happened last night. I’m surprised you’re in so early, L mentioned he wasn’t planning on arriving till lunch time today"

‘Well that’s probably because he knows he can’t get away with it’ Light thought sullenly.

“Yeah, he was pretty wiped last night. I, ah, didn’t want to presume I could just take the morning off"

There. Slight dig at L but it was the truth. His partner seemed to just think he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it.

‘Oh, like you, you mean?’  
Light ignored *that* thought and mentally shoved it down the trash chute. 

“Ah, Yagami-Kun, you won’t get far if you always toe the line! L's earned himself a morning off and so have you, if only you had been a little more bold as to take it"

Light worked very hard on keeping the pleasant smile on his face. L had earned it had he? So L was going to be praised for rebelling against company rules and he was to be chastised for it. It made him want to vomit.

“Well, actually, I have an urgent appointment at 2 so I was hoping I could head off once L arrives" Light shot a meaningful look at his father. The man should know what he meant by ‘urgent appointment’

“Of course! Quite so, I believe I will be able to keep an eye on his line this afternoon, Kitamura-San” Souichiro interjected smoothly. 

Kitamura shrugged and nodded before clamping a hand on his partner’s shoulder “Don’t forget to clear your calendar for Friday. It’s the annual charity gala, and you aren’t working through this one, Yagami-kun! So make sure you tell that lovely girlfriend of yours, and that’s order!”

‘Shit! How did I forget about that. Fuck, Kiyomi will have my balls if I don’t invite her!’

Light smiled his brightest, I really am so happy right now, smile. He suspected it was going to be one of those kinds of days.

(The kind were by the end of it his face would ache from the strain of having to keep up that fucking front of his whilst internally screaming)  
As his Father and Boss left the office Light made a mental to do list of all the shit he would have to face today:

• L’s awkwardness after the incident last night.  
• His very wrong and very MISPLACED feelings for L.  
• Therapy  
• Inviting Kiyomi to the gala (and by extension probably having to go dress shopping with her)  
• Acting deferential to Kitamura when all he really wanted to do was punch the big idiot in the face.  
Oh Joy.

 

*********

 

L had woken up at nine to the horrifying realisation he had no coffee. Shrugging on a hoodie and pair of loose sleep pants he rushed over to Matt and Mello’s, already knowing there was a slim chance he would get an answer. Mello was probably already in work and Matt spent most of his nights running his tech/hacking empire.

‘Please, for the love of god answer Matt’ L thought as he rang their buzzer.

Luck was on his side. He heard a muffled grumble and shuffling towards the door. Matt unlocked it and stared at him through red-rimmed eyes.

“L?”

“Coffee, Matt. I don’t have any"

Matt let out a loud yawn and opened the door for L to come in.

“Make me one as well, fuck, I’m hanging. Didn’t finish work till three then Mello kept me up half the night" Matt slumped down at the kitchen table as L went to make the coffee.

“Aw, was it *hard* being kept *up* all night by Mello?” L teased his friend, a wicked smile on his face.

Matt snorted at the double entendre and offered him a sheepish grin.

“Speaking of hot sex, it’s time we look into getting you some. I have an admission for you, you know Anton, the hot Russian guy? Well, Mello just so happens to be working with him today and...Fuck it, we’ve given him your number"

L dropped the teaspoon with a clatter. They did WHAT?!

“Don’t turn those big eyes on me, L, I know it’s shit with Beyond lurking about but you're a fully functioning male with a dick and you need to use it"

L snorted as he shook his head and passed his friend his coffee. L decided he might as well raid their fridge while he was here and smiled in delight when he pulled out a pack of cream cakes. Perhaps today really was his lucky day. 

“Careful, Mel’s will throw a fit if he finds out you’ve eaten all of those" 

L shrugged and crammed a donut in his mouth “If Fine, I’ll buy four" L mumbled. Matt assumed his friend had said ‘It’s fine, I’ll buy more’ but between the shower of powdered sugar he wasn’t quite sure.

L’s phone meowed (earning him a fond eye roll from his friend at his choice of message notification) and he pulled it out of his pocket. He didn’t recognise the number and that set him on edge. He relaxed a little as he read the message. It was from Anton not Beyond:

‘Hi Babe, Mello gave me your number. I was so surprised, I didn’t realise you were into me too! Would you like to go for a drink sometime? Maybe some pastries? Mello said you have a wicked sweet tooth and I happen to know a WICKED bakery in town im sure you’d love :D xxx'

L showed Matt the message “Funny, I didn't realise that either" he raised an eyebrow at Matt before frowning down at his phone.

“What? Just text the dude back!”

“And say what?! Hi, this is L, thanks for texting me, this totally isn’t awkward that my best friends decided to set us up, and oh, by the way I just happen to be currently stalked by my crazy ex and I’m crushing on my work partner whose a symptomatic closest case. But yeah, let’s go for that drink!”

Matt slowly placed down his mug and stared at L.

‘I knew it!’ Matt’s eyes gleamed triumphantly.  
L groaned and ran a hand through his hair as he realised his error. Fuck it. Why did he have to go and let that slip?

“So...Yagami, huh?”

L cringed “I know! I know! I must have the world’s worst taste in men. From a psychopath to a homophobe. Jesus!”

Matt snorted “Well, I can’t judge you. I mean, I’m shacked up with someone who thinks it’s acceptable to wear ‘neon beige' whatever the fuck that is"

L tilted his head. Neon beige? Was that even possible?

“Matt, last night Light kissed me. And I kissed him back! Then he kinda pulled away and apologised and said it was a mistake and...ugh, it’s so frustrating. He is just my type. He’s gorgeous, smart, cultured...why does he have to deny who he is?”

“Have you considered asking his father that? Or at least doing a little digging into his background. Sounds like he’s in the deep end of denial, and I suspect his father might have a part to play in it"

L nodded, awed by his friends perceptiveness. Hadn’t light said not to let his father know he was bisexual? He made a mental note to follow Matt’s suggestions.

They finished off their coffees and deliberated what message they (L) would sent to Anton. L admitted Beyond had terrified him and tried to rape him, and Matt patted his hand, his eyes narrowed to slits. God help Beyond if he ever got his hands on him. 

“L, you’re going for a drink with the guy. No one is expecting you to jump on his cock on the first date. I just think it might prove a good idea. A distraction from Light and Beyond"

L nodded his head. He didn’t want to play games with Anton, and he was of the belief in not getting involved with people unless he was serious about them.

But Anton was a nice guy, and who knows? Maybe something would come of it. And he could really do with some normalcy...

L text back before he could second guess himself:

‘Hi Anton, yeah, I’m kinda embarrassed about it, Matt and Mello are trying to play Cupid Lol. I’ve just got out of a messy breakup so not sure what I’m looking for right now but...I would like to go out for that drink and visit that amazing bakery of yours! When are you free? :) x'

“Good boy" Matt reached out and patted L's head “See? You can adult! You’ve told him you’re not sure what you want so there are no expectations. So arrange the date and just see what happens, okay?”

L nodded. He wasn’t playing games, he assured himself. He would go on a date with Anton and see how it went. And he would *stop* thinking of Light.

Because light was the Master game player with his deceptions, lies and false fronts. L didn’t need that shit in his life.

Let Light carry on denying who he was. L was going to focus on himself.

 

**********

 

By the time he’d left Matt, arranged a date with Anton for the following evening and got to work, L was feeling pretty good.

He strolled into the office and greeted Light coolly. He would start as he meant to go on, which meant not being subjected to Light’s lies.

“Nice lay in?”

L gave Light a bright smile “Lovely, thank you, Light"

Light raised a brow. L seemed rather chipper this afternoon.

“I spent some time with Matt and even arranged a date for tomorrow night" L breezed “Anyway, any news from the lab?”

Light stared at L. A date? Hadn’t L said a few weeks ago he wasn’t ready to date yet. What had happened to change his mind? Was it the mistake he’d made the night before? Had he inadvertently pushed L into the arms of someone else after his fuck up?

Why did that *hurt* so fucking much...

“Ah, No, not yet. Chiyo's been blowing up the work phone. Apparently she’s dumped Matsu and wants to go on a date"

L scowled at that. He’d forgotten about her. He decided he would spend the afternoon texting her to arrange something. Maybe do a bit of digging into Matsu and try and rile him into a meeting.

Matsu was the keystone in the roofies case. If L could take him out and convict him the rest of his operation would crumble.

L explained his plan to light and did his best to contain his surprise when Light grabbed his coat and informed him he was clocking off early.

“Oh, plans with Kiyomi?”

Light bristled and turned narrowed amber eyes to L. L blinked back at him innocently.

“If you must know, I have a therapy appointment"

L tilted his head, genuinely stumped at that. “Therapy? Christ, Light, are you okay?”

Light cleared his throat “I’m fine. Excuse me, I should get going"

L smiled blandly. So that was how they were playing it. Fine. He didn’t care anyway.  
“Have a good day then! See you tomorrow" L chirped. Light mumbled his goodbye and left the office.

As soon as he was gone L darted to his desk. Light had left his drawer open! L rifled around in it looking for clues. His fingers closed around a brochure for a private therapy clinic and he grinned in triumph.

His grin fell flat as he read the brochure:  
Gay conversion therapy.

Light was undergoing gay conversion therapy.  
“Fuck" L whispered, suddenly feeling like an asshole for going through his things. He shoved the brochure back into Light’s drawer and stared at it in shock.

‘I need to keep my distance from him. For both of our sakes. Maybe I should have a word with Kitamura and request to be partnered with someone else once we’ve cracked the roofies case...’

L sighed and buried his face in his hands. Fucking Light Yagami. Why did he feel such an attraction to an obviously very troubled man?  
L forced himself to text Chiyo and arranged a date for two nights time. The girl was delighted and L forced himself to be charming when he rang her. Next he tracked down Matsu and set up a fake Facebook profile. He messaged Matt for his assistance and within two hours he had a fully fleshed out profile with 500 friends, all students. He added Matsu and Chiyo. If the date went well he would post pictures of it and he knew that would rattle Matsu enough to draw his attention...

“Fucking games" L sighed as he received yet another message from Chiyo.

The sooner this case was over the better. Mind made up, L printed out the form he’d saved on his laptop, filled it in and went to Kitamura's desk.

“Kitamura-san, a word please? You too, Yagami-San?”

The elder officers nodded and L followed them into their office.  
He placed the request for a partner transfer on his desk.

“What’s this? I thought you and Yagami-Kun were working well together?” Kitamura frowned as he read L's request.

“We are, and I would like to continue working with Light until the roofies case is resolved. However, I have discovered it would be impractical to work with Light permanently, and it is for reasons of a personal matter. A conflict of interests, so to speak"

L watched Yagami seniors face pinch in horror and he knew he was the driving force behind Light’s issues.

“A conflict of interests?” Souichiro growled “What do you mean by that?”

L turned his gaze to the man and smiled faintly but there was no warmth in it. “Well, Yagami-San, I have recently discovered Light Yagami is currently undergoing gay conversion therapy. I myself am Bisexual and proud to be so. I feel no shame in my sexuality or the need to hide it. But Light tried to kiss me yesterday and he is obviously an extremely conflicted person and I am not comfortable working with someone with such... ingrained homophobic tendencies. I believe he also implied if *you* found out about my sexuality you would...encourage him to be partnered with someone else.”

Souichiro Yagami's mouth open and closed like a goldfish as he stared at L, absolutely flabbergasted at the young man's audacity.

“I would prefer to work with someone who respects my right to be sexually attracted to whom I want. I will not tolerate any homophobic slurs from you, Yagami-San, or your son. That is the reason for my transfer request”

Kitamura sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was disappointed, bitterly so. L and Light made a good team. However he could understand L's concerns and he would not risk pushing L away. L had an unblemished track record and an excellent background in forensics, not to mention his ability to speak numerous languages...

“Agent Misora is currently without a partner" Kitamura suggested.

“Yes" L said at once “She is an intelligent young woman, and we get on very well. I would be pleased to work alongside her"  
‘Especially considering she is now dating that Ray guy so she won’t be chasing after me’ 

“Very well. Shall we transfer you to Misora in... A month? To give you plenty of time to close the Roofies case?”

“Two weeks. That is all I need” L dipped his head “Thank you for accepting my request, please excuse me, I should get back to compiling the lab reports"

L ignored Souochiro’s burning stare and strode out of the office.

 

************

 

Completely unaware of the bombshell that had just been dropped, Light lay on the therapists couch as he explained the previous nights events. The old man scribbled down notes and made ‘hmm’ noises to signify he was listening as Light poured his heart out:  
“I’ve tried so hard, and I was doing really well until HE showed up. I admit I’ve never been fond of sleeping with Kiyomi but I was managing to do it. Now every time we’re intimate I can’t stop myself thinking about him when I...climax" Light mumbled the last bit, a deep sense of shame curdling in his stomach.

“Has L ever done anything to imply he is interested in you sexually?”

“Not exactly. I mean, I was just drawn to him the moment I saw him. He did kiss me back last night but...He was oddly cool with me this afternoon. Detached even"

More scribbles on the notepad.

“Perhaps he is aware of your...challenges surrounding him and your sexuality, Light. Perhaps he is putting some space between you"  
Light frowned “But he’s my work partner, he can’t put that much space between us. He’s bisexual but he’s never tried to hit on me or anything. I keep messing up because of him, do you think he feels responsibility for that?”

The Therapist nodded and chewed on his pen thoughtfully “I would recommend accepting the space he is offering you. You are a determined and dedicated young man, Light, and I wouldn’t be continuing these sessions with you if I didn’t think you couldn’t overcome the unnatural desires your afflicted with"

‘unnatural desires. Yes, what I feel for L is absolutely unatural'

“I would like for you to keep a diary for me. Every sinful thought or feeling you have, write it down. Just as every positive interaction or thought you have concerning Kiyomi I would like for you to write down”

‘Fuck, I’m going to be spending a lot of time writing then...’

“You mentioned you have a gala coming up. I want you to be involved in buying Kiyomi's dress. Focus on what attracts you and praise your girlfriend. She is a beautiful woman, Light, and is clearly dedicated to you. With time you will fully appreciate the joys only a man and woman can experience together"

“I will try" Light whispered. Kiyomi suited blue. A backless royal blue gown would look lovely on her...

“You have had a set back, Light, but the important thing is you are here and trying to address the mistakes that have been made. So, to summarise, I would like you to keep the diary, continue with the meditation and audio therapy and pick out a lovely dress for Kiyomi. I will see you...next Monday evening"

Light sighed and thanked Dr Ashiyo. Time to head back to the office and confront L then...  
Light called Kiyomi on his way back to work to arrange to take her dress shopping tomorrow. She was breathless with excitement as he told her about his blue dress idea.

“You’d look so beautiful in it, Baby. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately, this case has been weighing on me pretty bad. But it’s nearly done now, and I want to show you off to my colleagues"

Light felt accomplished when he had finished the call. It was just a shame not a single word he had spoken had been true..  
‘Aren’t I just the consummate liar’ Light thought bitterly. His therapist had said that lies were okay if they were positive enforcements. He would keep thinking, saying and *believing* he was straight until it worked.  
Mind over matter! 

Light kept the phrase in mind as he logged himself back in. He paused at the threshold of the main office when he spotted L and Misora looking rather cosy by the coffee machine. She wasn't flirting with him like before, but they seemed excited as they whispered about something...

Light scowled when he saw Misora's lips form his name. L startled and looked over at him.  
Was it Light’s imagination or did L look guilty about something?

He ignored them and entered his office. On his desk was a notification of his impending partnership to another Junior detective, his friend Touta Matsuda.

“The fuck? A demotion! Why the hell are they pairing me with *him* of all people!”  
Light liked Matsuda, he was a decent enough guy, if a bit wet around the ears. But he was nowhere near his level. To go from being paired to someone as brilliant and experienced as L to Matsuda...

L entered their office and met his shocked gaze head on.

“We will be partners for two more weeks to allow us to close the case. Then I am transferring to Misora. You want to keep deluding yourself that is your prerogative, but you do *not* get to kiss me then act like nothing happened, Light. I am not prepared to be sucked into these games you’re playing because it’s not fucking fair and I do not need that shit! Understood?”

Light stared at L as he turned on his heel and returned to Misora. It seemed L was already working on her with some cases...

Tears stung his eyes and he blinked them away, furious with himself for getting so upset.  
Misora laughed loudly at something L said and he couldn’t stop it- the tears fell from his eyes and trailed down his face unhindered.

‘This should be a good thing. Distance between us... why does it feel like he’s just ripped my heart out and stomped on it?’

Light wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He would not cry. He would not fucking cry in his office.  
Fuck L. He was a weird foreign jerk he was better off without.

He had a beautiful girlfriend and his therapist said he was making progress. Plus, at least being partnered with Matsuda he would be the one calling the shots...

Light’s eyes snapped to L's phone as it meowed (‘another stupid thing about him, a cat ringtone for fuck sake’, Light thought)  
His stomach churned as he read the message from Anton:

‘Can’t wait to see you tomorrow, Beautiful xxx’

“Fuck this!” Light dropped L's phone back on the desk and went to find Matsuda. He was going to get fucking smashed after work.

Matsuda was game, obviously, and Light clapped his shoulder. He even ogled over the nude centerspread of some model the guys were passing around.

L looked at him, disgust in his eyes. Light ignored him.

“Thank you, Misora. I will get on this now” L brushed past Light and his ogling buddies and returned to the office. He closed the door behind him, the very sight of Light setting his teeth on edge.

‘He's poison. Just like Beyond' L decided. He noticed his message from Anton and smiled as a picture message flashed up. Chiselled looks, thick brown hair and baby blue eyes... He was stunning.

And he knew who the fuck he was and what he wanted (‘Me’ L thought, a flash of heat shooting through him) That made him ten times more appealing than Light Yagami as far as L was concerned.

He was done playing games. It was time to move on from Beyond and from whatever the fuck was going on between Light and himself...


	8. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light struggles with his jealousy at L's approaching date and budding friendship with Misora. L receives an apology and does something nice for Light, and both enjoy dates with unexpected results...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know L and Light are my OTP but I am going to have to admit this... I really enjoyed writing Anton/L! 
> 
> Also, we see a brief flashback to L and Beyond's relationship before he got all stabby and psycho and I enjoyed writing that too.
> 
> This *is* a Light/L story, but it is going to be a slow burn, so please dont think I am changing direction from LightxL with the AntonxL relationship!

Friday afternoon was dragging. Every time L looked at his watch it seemed the hands has gone back the wrong way. He was due to meet Anton at 7 so he had brought a change of clothes to the office with him. He was excited about it, but also nervous. He hadn't been on a date in *years* 

‘The last date I went on was with him...and he just charmed me utterly.’ 

L lost himself in memory as he thought back to Beyond and his first date. It had been the week before Christmas and they had met up in London. It had been magical, snow on the ground and Christmas lights twinkling... they’d had a hot chocolate together in Harrods then walked hand in hand as they giggled over their lame attempts at Christmas shopping.

“L!”

L jerked back to the present and turned wide eyes to Light.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Urgh, I said there’s been another death and...Well, it's Maimo. She was found dead in her apartment this morning"

L's eyes widened in surprise. Shit! Her death could ruin everything. Chiyo wouldn’t want to go on a date with him after her best friends death and he only had 13 days left with Light to close the case...

“Chiyo's been blowing up your phone. Maybe you could see her tonight and comfort her?”  
L groaned. 

“Look, L, I know you have your date with that Russian guy tonight but-"

L silenced him with a glare, “I am not cancelling that date. God Damn, have you even seen him? He looks like he could be a model instead of a carpenter"

Light cleared his throat.

“Oh, of course. You wouldn’t find him attractive being straight and all" L snarked, frustration colouring his words “Fine. I will ring her” 

Light handed L the work phone with a guilty frown. He hated the fact that he felt almost pleased the girls death had stopped L going on this date.

L rang her and soothed her in that sweet way of his and Light found himself debating whether L was being genuine or not. He *sounded* genuinely distressed and upset as he talked to the crying girl.

‘He is being sincere. He’s a kind person...’

“I totally understand, Chiyo-chan, and I am so very sorry. Please spend all the time you need with your family and call me...Well, just call me whenever you want, okay?”

L finished the phone call and turned to Light “She’s gone home to her family. No date this weekend. Guess you will just have to put up with me and my bisexual self for another few weeks until we can solve this case"

Light opened his mouth, astonished at the bitterness in L's tone.

“Excuse me. Since I can’t work on the roofies case I might as well check in with Naomi. Matsuda's been calling you by the way. Apparently you left your wallet at his place last night"

Light sighed as L walked away from him. There was so much he wanted to say to him, he wanted to just grab him and stop him from walking away Dammit!

But he couldn’t. He was trapped in the lies and the life he had made for himself. He watched L go, hating himself.

Naturally Kiyomi just had to ring to interrupt his moment of self-hatred.

With a sigh he answered the phone,  
“Hi, Babe"

“...You okay?”

Light ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, no, well just bad news about the case. Another death. Anyway, I was meaning to call you. What time do you finish work? I was thinking we could go look for your dress"

‘There. That should placate her' Light thought, a wry smile on his lips as he heard the excited gasp on the other end of the line.

“I finish at four! Oh, Light, I am so excited! Will you pick me up from work? We could make a date of it, go for a meal after shopping and then later...” Kiyomi trailed off coyly.

‘Ugh. I’m going to have to sleep with you again. Wonderful’

“Sure, Babe, I will pick you up at four...and I can’t wait for later" Light let the words linger and Kiyomi giggled naughtily.

“See you soon, Light!”

Light said his goodbyes and stared down at his phone. L was going on a date tonight. What if...  
‘No. He isn’t the kind of person to sleep with someone after a single date. Besides, he’s still messed up about whatever Beyond did to him. I can’t spend the whole evening thinking about what L is up to with the Model Russian guy...’  
Even as he thought it Light just knew that was exactly what he was going to end up doing...

***********

“Oh, L, Hon, you can’t wear that shirt" 

L blinked at Naomi.  
“Why not?”

“Um, because it’s grey and it washes you out. You need a colour that will emphasise your skin tone, not make you look like a corpse"

L grinned. He adored Naomi's no nonsecence attitude.

“I can see your point, Massacre" L dumped his shirt back in his bag “I didn’t think of it that way. I don’t think I’m going to have time to go back to my apartment though...think we could get away with sneaking out...?”

Naomi smirked, dark eyes flashing in excitement. She loved having L as a partner already. He didn’t toe the line like the others. He shared her love for non conformity and rule bending.

“Definitely. Things are quieter than a morgue here and Yagami-Kun is moping about the place like someone’s told him Santa’s not real, I doubt we'll be missed."

L giggled as they walked out of their office. He resolutely kept his eyes forward. He would not check in on Light. 

“Ah, shit" L muttered, jerking his chin at Kitamura and Souichiro. The men were heading their way.

“Balls" Naomi pouted. She had really been looking forward to helping her new partner find something for his hot date.

“L! Misora, heading out were we?”

“Yes" L said simply, completely unapologetic, “Unless you need us for anything?”

“Well, actually, we would like a quiet word...”

L shifted his focus to Souichiro. The man looked like he was sucking a lemon. L just *had* to know what had happened to piss him off so much.

“Sure" L dipped his head politely. They returned to Naomi's office and shut the door.

L and Misora sat down and waited expectantly for Kitamura to speak. When he remained silent for longer than a minute they shared a look of concern.

“Sir?” L asked tentatively “Is there something wrong?”

That seemed to draw Kitamura back to himself and out of his thoughts.

“L, I would like to know if you are considering pressing charges against Yagami-Kun"

L blinked. Where the hell had that come from?  
“Um. No. Why would I want to do that?”

Souichiro seemed to deflate before his eyes. Kitamura shot his partner an ‘I told you so’ look.  
“Well, he did kiss you and make...unfortunate remarks about your sexuality...”

L had to hide his smile at how awkward Kitamura looked.

“Yes, they were very unfortunate, weren’t they? As for the kiss, I’ve already forgotten about it. Light is clearly deeply troubled and I certainly wouldn’t want to add to that. However... I would appreciate an apology for Souichiro-San for his blatant bigotry in not wishing for his son to be partnered with a...what was the phrase used? Ah yes, ‘an immoral, disgusting bisexual' "

Souichiro glowered down at the insolent, smirking brat.

“Indeed, and you deserve one. That was the second thing I wanted to address. L, I assure you if I hear *any* derogatory remarks about your sexuality I will not take it lightly, I assure you"

L smiled and looked at Souichiro, an expectant gleam in his eyes. 

“I am... sorry my words caused you offence, Lawliet-San"

Naomi snorted and delicately coughed into her fist. L could have sworn he heard the word ‘Bullshit’ and had to try very hard indeed to just not burst out laughing.

“That was a deeply sincere apology, Yagami-San, how could I not accept it" L's words were dry enough to start a fire. Naomi burst into a coughing fit as she chocked back laughter.

Kitamura’s moustache twitched, a tell-tale sign he too was trying not to smirk. 

“Well, are we all settled here now? It’s just... I really need to get out for an hour...I’ve forgotten to pick up my meds"

“Medication? What medication?”

L internally rolled his eyes. He bet Souichiro thought he was riddled with STD's or Aids or something, the ignorant old fuck.

“...”

L stared Souichiro down. Even if he hadn’t been lying and had needed to nip out to get medication, what medication he needed was *none* of his business.

Kitamura clasped L on the shoulder, eyes twinkling with amusement at L's snub of his friend's question. In all fairness Souichiro deserved it.

“See you on Monday then, L, Misora. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do"

“Well, Sir" Misora purred, black eyes flashing wickedly “That doesn't leave us with much to do at all!”

Kitamura bellowed in laughter, his belly jiggling as he wiped his eyes. Souichiro continued to stare at L with a stony expression.

“See you Monday, have a nice weekend, Sir. Yagami-San" L chirped, brushing past Souichiro and heading right out the door. He spotted Light looking over and shot him a sunny smile.

“Let’s go!” Misora grabbed L's arm “We don’t have much time to make you look pretty, Hon, so every second counts"

“You absolute *bitch*” L replied, sounding utterly delighted at Misora's faux-insult.

Light bit his lip as he overheard the friendly banter between them.The pair were blatantly ducking work to go shopping or something. Seemed L and Naomi Misora were a match made in heaven. 

He would try and be happy for them, if the thought of L being partnered with someone else didn’t turn his stomach so much.

 

**********

 

3 pm came around far too fast for Light’s liking. L and Misora had brazenly returned with designer carrier bags and Starbucks cups like they were the darlings of the office.

Perhaps they were. It was only he and his father who raised an eyebrow at them.

Kitamura even wandered over to them to ask did L pick up his medication (‘Liar, he doesn’t take any’ Light thought) and L smiled sweetly and informed him they’d stopped off at some trendy boutique to pick up a birthday gift for his friends.

Kitamura bought it. The idiot.

“Oh, that's nice...”

Light noticed Kitamura was stroking a deep blue, almost indigo silk shirt.

“Thank you! That’s for me" L admitted “I, uh, have a date tonight and Massacre said I shouldn’t wear grey because it would make me look like a corpse"

The head of police burst into bouts of laughter, startling those who were actually hard at work.

“You should wear it to the Gala next weekend" Misora smiled “I will wear something matching"

L smirked, “Who said I wanted to go with *you*?”

“I did. So you are. Besides, you can’t take the Russian guy after one date!”

Kitamura looked back and forth between the pair, an amused smile on his lips.

“Won’t Ray want to be your partner?” L pointed out.

Naomi snorted “Not bloody likely, he detests formal events like that. He’s already put himself down to work that weekend"

L shrugged, a small smile on his lips. He had assumed he would end up working it too since he had no one to go with. It seemed he had made another friend in Naomi Misora.

“Then I would be delighted to go with you" L replied galliantly “Thanks for the help, Naomi. I’d better check in with Light, see if there’s been any developments about the case"

Naomi grabbed his worst “If you value your life, L, you won’t forget to message me how tonight goes, will you?” paired with the sweetest smile, she was actually quite scary. No wonder her nickname was Massacre!

“I will give you a full report in the morning"

“Excellent. Dismissed then" Misora waved over her shoulder as she returned to her office. L smiled at her retreating back, counting himself lucky he had made yet another good friend in this strange country.

“Kitamura-san...I know it is probably not my place to say this but... I am concerned for Light. I feel he isn’t getting the recognition he deserves. Matsuda is a nice guy and all but everyone knows he is a sub-par partner for Light. Is there no one else he could be partnered with?”

“Ray was my other suggestion, I had hoped not to have to resort to Matauda..." Kitamura admitted “But he rejected the offer. Thought Light was still too much of a rookie to work with"

L frowned in unhappiness. That was far from the truth. Light was brilliant, dedicated and as sharp as a knife. He viewed Light as an equal, even if the stubborn man thought otherwise.

“What is your opinion of Light Yagami?”

“I believe he is extremely intelligent, his instincts are sharp and he has the potential to turn the world upside if he wished to. He has an integrity that cannot be bought, Kitamura-san. And personally I believe if Light attained the rank of senior, which by the way I think he deserves, then Ray would have no issue with working with him"

Kitamura paused, a small smile curling his lip.  
“I see...are you implying I should promote Yagami-Kun?”

“I would never to presume to imply anything, Sir. I was simply...suggesting it" 

“Then I will take your ‘suggestion’ on board, L. I was actually on my way to discuss something with Ray now. I will mention it to him"

L bowed his head, happiness fluttering in his chest. There. He and Light could now part ways on friendlier terms.

He returned to their office and offered Light the coffee he had picked up for him. Light was surprised, but accepted it with a small nod of thanks.

“Oh, I heard something interesting from Misora earlier. You might not have to partner with Matsuda after all...”

Light nearly spat out his sip of coffee, “What? Really, what did you hear?”

L smiled at him cryptically “That was all I heard, Light, but I have a hunch good news must be coming your way. Kitamura asked what I thought of you as a Detective. I said what I feel and then he said he would be speaking to Ray"

“You said what you feel?”

L blushed and looked down, unable to look into that earnest amber gaze.

“I...I said that I believed you were extremely intelligent and with sharp instincts. You deserve to be partnered with someone similar. Matsuda is neither sharp nor intelligent. He is a good officer but he will always need his hand held. He cannot think for himself, he does not possess the intuition and drive to excel in this profession. He will always be sadly mediocre at best. You deserve more than that, even if he is your friend. He will hold you back. Ray Penbar will not"

Light was stunned into silence. L had really said that about him? Was L implying he had used his friendship with Kitamura to set this up?

“I need to go... I... will see you Monday"

L turned to leave and Light couldn’t stop himself. He shot out his hand and grasped L's arm, stilling him.

“You were my perfect partner, L" the words had tumbled out of his mouth before he had time to think. L's eyes widened at the mournful tone of regret in Light’s voice.

L managed a sad smile “Maybe. But neither of us can afford to take that risk. Personal and Business should never mix, and that is precisely what happened. Besides... I believe I am not someone you need around you right now considering your sexuality crises"

Light recoiled in shock.

“I have no sexuality crises!”

L’s smile turned bitter “That is why I cannot work with you, Light. You are a liar of the worst kind... You lie to yourself"

This time Light let him go, his words ringing in his ears.

He shook his head and checked the time. Shit.

***********

 

“I’m sorry I’m late, there was a meeting and... well, I’m not sure but I think I might be getting a promotion soon..."

Kiyomi's frown blossomed into a smile as she stood up from the bench and rushed to her boyfriend.

“Darling! That’s wonderful" she kissed his cheek “It’s well over due, you work so hard"

Light pulled out his phone when it began ringing, eyes widening as he recognised Kitamura's number. He mouthed ‘it's him’ before he answered.

“Yagami-Kun, good news! Excellent news. I have had a work with Penbar-san and we have decided he will make a much more suitable partner for you than Matauda"

“But sir... Penbar is a senior and-"

“So are you! Congratulations, Yagami-*san"

Light sucked in a breath, utter rapture spreading through him. He was a senior?!

“Please report to my office first thing Monday to discuss your pay rise and new responsibilities and... I do not mean to pry into your personal life, but whatever happened between you and Lawliet-San...well, the man respects you deeply. He opened my eyes to just how important you are, Yagami-San. This promotion is well overdue"

“Thank you so much, Sir" Light blinked back tears.

“Don’t thank me, thank L Lawliet. He was the one who opened this old fools eyes to what was right in front of him. Anyway, I will let you go now but once again, congratulations!"

When the phone call had finished Light could do nothing but stare at it, tears dropping onto the screen.

“Oh, Light! Let’s go get some champagne once we’ve gotten our clothes for the Gala! We need to celebrate” Kiyomi pulled him into a kiss and he was so stupefied by the news he didn’t even mind she’d done it.

‘God Dammit, L, why do you make it so easy for me to love you?!’

Lights eyes flew open at the thought.  
Love?!  
‘Oh no...’ 

As Light drove to Kiyomi's favourite dress shop he tried very hard to not acknowledge that thought. He was tired, he certainly didn’t love L. He was just grateful to him.

‘You are a liar of the worst kind...You lie to yourself’

Light forced himself to smile as Kiyomi rang her parents to tell them the good news.

‘Well, L, anything to keep ourselves sane. You’re far from perfect yourself!'

The thought was enough to ralley him. He had therapy again on Monday, and soon he wouldn’t have to work with L at all. It might hurt him now but it the long run it was for the best.

Pushing all thoughts of L from his mind, Light focused on Kiyomi and their future together. Mind over matter.

He would tell himself that how many fucking times it took until he believed it...

 

***********

 

Anton Volkov was without a doubt one of the most attractive men L had ever laid eyes on his entire life. He had scoffed at Matt and Mello when they first said he was checking him out weeks ago, but somehow here he was: sat sipping a glass of red wine, trying to remain calm and not just blurt out stupid shit, as they chatted in La Mode's beer garden that overlooked the water.

“Anton... I...”

Anton smiled, a flash of white teeth and a slight crinkle to the corners of his eyes. L felt his stomach flip at the sight of it.

“I’m glad to have had the opportunity to meet you like this. I’ve been thinking of little else since I met you" Anton filled in the silence when he realised how nervous L was.

L gulped down more wine than he was ready for and tears sprang to his eyes as it burned down his throat.

Anton frowned at him in concern and handed him a napkin.

“I am so sorry" L wheezed “Christ, you must think me an idiot...”

That damn smile again. Those eye crinkles. L now knew the hot twisting feeling in his stomach was lust.

“On the contrary, I find you simply enthralling"

‘Enthralling? Oh, I like that...’

“Really?” L leaned forward slightly, feeling a little bolder, “Why?”

Anton smiled and reached for his hand. L let him, his heart racing as he felt callused fingers brushing over his skin.

“Because the moment I saw you I saw this... sweetness in you. This sweet awkwardness. You really are quite adorable, L"

L was mortified when he let out a small whimper at the words. It had been so long since he had felt this way. He felt *desired*

“You’re so hot" L blurted out “I’m still in a state of shock you even wanted to go on a date with me"

L suddenly shivered, a chill racing up his spine. He whipped his head around, eyes desperately searching for something in the darkness.  
He had thought...

“Aw, you’re cold? Shall we head back inside? Or if you want to stay here you can have my jacket"

L forced himself to tear his eyes away from the shadows of the dockyard and looked at Anton. The man was so damn earnest.

“I felt like... someone was watching me" L admitted softly “I told you about my bad break up? Well, he used to stalk me. Perhaps he still is”

Anton stood up abruptly and yanked L to his feet. A brief surge of panic flashed through L's mind before he felt Anton's lips crash down on his.  
Thought processes shut down, replaced by need and hormones. L pressed back against him and returned his kiss, sucking his tongue hungrily as he felt those strong hands slide down his sides and grip his hips.

“There is no need to be afraid. I will never let anyone hurt you, L"

L stared into those mesmerising eyes and wished with all his heart he could believe that was true.

“Could we...”

‘Am I really ready to do this?’

A thumb traced over his lip and L felt himself melt a little. The sincerity in those icy eyes was overwhelming and he just suddenly felt so fucking lonely. He wanted Anton in his bed. He needed someone to hold and tell him everything would be alright.

He surged up and kissed him passionately, hoping to convey in action what he was struggling to say with words. Anton seemed to understand, his hands drifted lower and gripped L's ass.

“You’re place or mine?” he husked into L's ear.

“Mine" L whispered, a wicked thrill shooting through him. Those eyes looking for him in the darkness could keep on looking.

He shivered as Anton wrapped an arm around his waist and led him off into the night, leaving the bright lights of the harbour and La Mode behind them.

 

***********

 

Kiyomi Takada looked beautiful in blue. It brought out the rose tint in her cheeks and made her eyes sparkle.

She had looked beautiful in her blue dress and now Light was trying to convince himself she looked beautiful in her midnight blue lacy underwear.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes" Light replied automatically “You are beautiful, Kiyomi"

‘I hope that wasn’t too robotic. She frowned a bit then’

Light made up for his error by kissing her roughly, one hand dipping between her legs and teasing her.

She whimpered into his mouth as he toyed with her clit, nails digging into his shoulders in passion.

“Oh, Light, fuck me" Kiyomi groaned, wetness spilling from her. Light was mildly disgusted at it, but eased her panties down anyway. She unhooked her bra, breathless with excitement...

Until she realised Light wasn’t even hard.

“Light...?”

“I’m sorry, Babe, fucking champagne. This is why I don’t drink...” Light ran a hand through his hair and attempted a sheepish smile.

Kiyomi’s eyes softened and she pulled him down to her. She pressed his face to her breasts and trailed a delicate hand to his groin.

“Hush, Baby, let me sort that out for you"

Light shuddered against her and bit her lip as he willed himself to get hard. With his eyes closed and the delicate pressure of her hand, he was succeeding...

Several blocks away L had no such issue. He had never been harder in his entire life. 

He arched his hips and cried out as that tongue lapped at him again and again. He had never experienced anything like it, having someone’s tongue *there* and each breath or drag of Anton’s tongue against his hole threatened to destroy his mind and make him crazy with lust.

“Please! Fuck, Anton, more, please!”

Anton smiled against L's skin and *hummed* L gave a startled shriek at the sensation and lost his battle, he threw his head back as he came abruptly. Come shot out of his untouched cock onto the sheets below him and each pulse of pleasure was so intense lights burst behind his tightly closed eyes.

“Aaaahhh! Anton! Fuck, FUCK!”

He could feel Anton smile again and point his tongue before spearing it inside him.

“Uwwaaah! Ah, ah no! No more, oh fuck, oh fuck"  
Anton saw that as a challenge. He ate L out until he came again and collapsed onto the bed, shivering and spaced out, mind blank and soul reeling. 

He had *never* felt so fucking good in his life.  
Anton smiled down at L's blissed out expression and hovered over him, uncertainty in his eyes. 

“Can I fuck you now, L?”

“Oh god, yes please" L slurred, reaching out a hand and curling it around the straining erection jutting out proudly from Anton's body.

“I will make you feel so good" Anton whispered, voice husky with desire as he reached for the bottle of lubricant. 

By the time Anton had carefully (and in L's opinion, torturously slowly) fingered him open, L was a writhing mess of want once again.

His body screamed *YES, FINALLY!* when Anton hooked his legs over his shoulders and guided the tip of his cock inside him.

When he slowly pushed all the way inside L’s mouth fell open in a breathless gape. 

“I’m not hurting you am I, Baby?”

L smiled through his tears and wrapped his arms around the sweet man's neck.

“No, don’t stop, it feels so good...”

Those were the last words L said that night. Everything else was just moans and pants as Anton fucked him to within an inch of his life.  
The bed squealed and groaned in time with the vigorous thrusts and L could only dig his nails into Anton's shoulders and cry for more. The Russian was relentless, he fucked with a passion and an intensity that had L in awe. He lost track of time and how many positions Anton had expertly guided his body into until Anton finally seemed to be nearing his (considerable) limit of endurance.

“Gonna come, L, Baby, I need to come!"

L whimpered and shifted his hips, sweat trickling down his body as Anton bore down on him. Flexible as a cat, L twisted his hips and sucked that thrusting cock further inside him.  
Anton let out a ear piercing bellow and L screamed out his own completion as he felt pulse after pulse of warmth spilling deep inside him. 

Everything faded into nothing. Then only thing he felt in that moment was utter rapture...

Weak, wrung out and trembling, L lay quietly, breathing erratically and stunned by the aftershocks shooting through him. Anton collapsed on him with a groan, his spent cock twitching in its sheath.

“Incredible...” Anton slurred, planting a kiss to L's shoulder “Incredible, L”

L ‘Mmm'd’ in agreement, eyes already slipping closed as he basked in the afterglow.

“You don’t want me to go now...do you?”

L cracked open an eye and managed to speak one more word “Stay"

Anton sighed in relief and pulled the covers over them. They curled around each other and L’s last thought before sleep claimed him was that for the first time since the breakup he felt safe in the dark...

 

***********

 

Light lay awake, his cock pulsing with what he supposed was satisfaction. Kiyomi was deep in a sated sleep, head pillowed on his chest.

Kiyomi had worked damn hard to get a rise out of him (he had to smirk at the pun) but somehow... somehow he managed it. He had even *enjoyed* sleeping with her in the end.  
He resolutely refused to think of L and what he might be doing with the Russian prick. Instead, as he thrusted inside Kiyomi he thought about how mind over matter was so important. He repeated it like a mantra, in time to his thrusts until he felt a strange feeling of peace wash over him. He had growled at her to squeeze around him and he had *felt* enjoyment. That had spurred him on and saved the day.

He whispered for Kiyomi to get on top and her eyes had blown to black with arousal. They had never done this before, and to her it was a sign her sweet, shy boyfriend was getting braver in the bedroom.

She’d impaled herself and had ridden him mercilessly. Light’s breathless cries were music to her ears as he squeezed her hips. 

When he had come inside her he had been thinking of L. Of L riding him like this...  
But he’d also reached for her breasts and squeezed them, utterly without thought.

That was progress, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is cherished, so please leave some 💖


	9. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light close the Roofies case and say goodbye to one another...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhh for god's sake Light!!! 😤 You are starting to frustrate me IMAGAY!

As soon as L arrived in work on Monday morning he made a beeline for Naomi's office. 

She was waiting with an expectant look on her face. 

“Sit”

“Yes, Ma’am” L grinned. He dropped into the chair a little too roughly and he winced. Naomi noticed and snickered, eyes flashing with amusement. 

“You fucked him!” She crowed, head tossed back as L mumbled into his coffee cup “You *Whore*!”  
L squirmed and the colour drained from his face. Naomi snapped her mouth shut, her laughter dying at once. L looked like he’d been stabbed. 

“Oh, Hon, I was only joking...”

L shook his head, mortified he had let *him* into his head again. “That was what Beyond used to call me... Like all the time... Fuck, Naomi, how could I have been so stupid to put up with his shit for so long? He’s here in Japan and he is *still* under my skin. Last night I swear I saw someone watching me from the dockyard below”

“Shit, L... What are we going to do about it?”  
L smiled at the ‘we’ and tossed Naomi a KitKat from his bag before digging into his own. They wandered over to the coffee table and sat down, neither overly bothered about starting work yet. 

“Nothing. Nothing yet, anyway. If it was him he will only crawl out when he wants to. He’s always enjoyed playing games and he can just... I don’t know, vanish into shadows?”

“Sounds like a fucking lunatic”

L smiled bitterly, “Called it” L munched on his chocolate and decided to change to a much happier subject. Unfortunately neither of them heard the soft knock on the door as they were so wrapped up in their conversation. “Anyway, yes, I did fuck him and it was incredible. He was like a *machine*” L dropped his voice to a whisper and Naomi leaned forward, an excited sparkle in her expressive eyes, “He... He ate me out. Twice. I have never felt anything like it. And then he just fucked my brains out for hours...I swear to you he has opened my eyes to a LOT of new things” L flushed as he felt the *twinge* in his ass. He could still feel the way Anton had stretched him out and it made him hungry for more. 

“Fuck” Naomi panted, “More”

“You're not diddling yourself under the table are you?” L snickered when he noticed how flushed his friend appeared. 

“Ha! You *wish*” Naomi snickered “So? The guy is a sex god. What else? He stayed the night, yeah?”

L smiled dreamily “Yes. And then in the morning he got up early and made me pancakes and we had breakfast together and... Ugh. He is just so perfect... Which actually worries me slightly. No one can be that perfect, can they?”

Naomi shrugged, “Doubt it. He probably has a third nipple or something, but hey! Enjoy it while it lasts, right?”

“He does *not*” L huffed “Anyway, I’ve decided to just see where it goes. He’s working the next few days on a restoration project but I... I actually miss him already. That’s stupid, isn’t it?”

Naomi's smile softened and she shook her head. “No, it's not, Babe and- Yagami-Kun?!”

L's face drained of colour as he realised Light was leaned against the office door, a pinched look of fury on his face. 

“How long have you been there for” L whimpered, wishing the ground would just part and swallow him up right fucking NOW. 

“Well, I knocked and had no answer. I walked in around the ‘He ate me out two times' mark”

L gulped. Shit. For some reason he really wasn’t comfortable with Light hearing that... and it wasn’t because Light was in denial either. 

“Um... And you just decided to linger there when it was blatantly obvious we hadn’t noticed you and were having a *private* conversation. Christ, Yagami, you’re such a creep!”

Light flushed with embarrassment. “If you wouldn’t mind, I need to borrow L. Chiyo's asked to meet with us”

L heaved out a sigh and snatched Misora's last remaining stick of chocolate “Duty calls”

“Booty calls” Naomi smirked “Keep me posted. If I can help you or Mr-I-Linger-In-People's-Doorways over there I will. These drugs have been circulating for far too long”

L nodded, suddenly serious. “We will get to the bottom of it, Naomi. I will keep you updated”

“Good. Oh, and congratulations, Senior Detective Yagami” Misora called, “Well deserved, even if you are a creep”

Light sighed. “Thanks, Misora-San”

L cast a look over his shoulder at Naomi before he trotted out after Light. 

Light cleared his throat and refused to meet his eyes. Instead, he handed L the works phone. L read through the messages. Chiyo wanted to meet off campus. That sent alarm bells ringing. 

“What's your instincts telling you?”

Light worried his lip, reading and rereading the messages. They lacked the usual warmth and fuckton of emoji’s Chiyo usually sent. They seemed as if they were written by someone else. The syntax, spelling and rhythm of the messages were different. 

“Chiyo did not send me these messages... I think... We need to move very carefully and arrange back up for this meeting” L sighed and passed the phone back to Light “Congratulations, by the way. Hell of a way to start your seniorship if this ends up a shooting match, huh?”

“Thanks... And... Thank you for praising me like you did to Kitamura, you didn’t have to do that”

Light looked oddly sheepish, and L had to admit it was a good look on him. It softened his chiselled features, made him appear younger and softer... not to mention a damn side less proud and arrogant. 

“I only told the truth” L refused to meet his eyes, aware of the *something* that lingered in the air between them. Maybe it was regret. Maybe it was more. L decided it was probably safer not knowing. 

“Still... Thanks, L”

L nodded. The ticking of the clock filled the room. 

‘Bloody awkward silences. What should I do? Should I say something? Why is he looking at me like that. Oh god, what if he's judging me for sleeping with Anton?’

“Right. Well, let’s go and request backup and get this case closed” Light mumbled, feeling just as awkward and anxious as L looked. 

“Yeah...”

L pulled on his jacket and checked his gun. He had a nasty feeling he might just be needing it...

 

***********

 

Chiyo felt like such a fool. Of course Liam would be an undercover cop, wouldn’t he? 

Matsu had threatened to kill her if she didn’t message him and ask to meet, and she knew she had no choice but she felt terribly afraid for Lawliet, as he was actually known. What if Matsu killed him? 

“You ditched me for an undercover cop, you stupid bitch” Matsu hissed under his breath “Maimo’s better off dead. If I go down for this I promise I will be taking you down with me”

Chiyo gulped when she saw ‘Liam' approach with his German friend (or work colleague, she supposed) 

The park was quiet at this time of day, the sun was hanging low in the sky and rain lingered in the air. 

Matsu jumped to his feet and dragged Chiyo off the bench, knife pressed to her throat. 

L and Light shared a glance. 

“Put the knife down, Matsu. We're here to talk”

L could have rolled his eyes at Ligh's cliche good cop/bad cop shit. He had already deduced by the glaze in Matsu's eyes and the trembling of his hand that held the knife to his ex-girlfriend's throat, he was high. There could be no negotiating with someone who was high. 

“I’m not here to talk” L smirked and stepped closer to Matsu, “I'm here to arrest you and put an end to those poison pills you're slinging”  
Matsu pressed the knife deeper against Chiyo's throat, little beads of blood appearing and marring the pale flesh. 

Light reached for L but L gave him such a look of irritation he backed down. Of course, L was brash and reckless. It was how he achieved the results he achieved. Light backed off slightly, hoping L knew what he was doing. His gun was a comforting weight against his hip, and he knew he wouldn’t hesitate to use it if L was in danger. 

“Tch, holding a knife to a little girl's throat?” L narrowed his eyes and mocked the criminal in a voice dripping with scorn, “Why are you so mad at her? Is it because she dumped you? I’d say compared to you I am something of an upgrade...”

Matsu snarled and shoved Chiyo away from him, knife slashing straight for L. As predicted, the man's pride had been wounded and by lashing out he had played right into L's hands. 

L gritted his teeth as he felt a sharp sting on pain flare down his arm (he hadn’t had enough time or space to manoeuvre to avoid getting hit but it did throw Matsu off balance) L landed a swift kick straight to the back of a knee and the drug dealer went down heavily. Light fumbled for his gun and trained it on Matsu, unsure as to whether L had the situation in hand or not. He was bleeding, but by the swiftness of his retaliation Light suspected L had anticipated it and had been willing to take the blow. 

Before Light could make his mind up L had Matsu's face in the dirt and cuffs around his wrists. 

“You stay there” L snapped at Chiyo, who appeared as if she was about to make a run for it, “You run and you will be shot, Chiyo. I’d suggest you cooperate fully with the investigation. Maimo's dead and you’ve nearly been killed yourself today. Enough is enough”

“Am I going to go to prison?” She asked in a trembling voice. 

“Probably. Depends how helpful you intend on being. Even if you are sent down your age will be a mitigating factor... Among other things. The ball's in your court, Chiyo...”

Chiyo gulped and held out her hands to Light. L nodded his head and gave the girl a faint smile.  
“Good. Light, cuff her and get her in the van. I will deal with him”

“Fuck you! I will END you!” Matsu screamed through a face full of dirt. 

“Ohh, that’s a threat” L smiled, finger drifting to his lip as he considered how many extra months that would put on Matsu's sentence. The man jerked his body, aiming to throw L off balance and dislodge him. L simply pushed him deeper into the mud. 

“Try that one more time and see what happens” L muttered darkly, hoisting the man up onto his feet. The plain-clothed back up officers rushed in to grab the struggling man and cart him off to the back of the waiting police van. L, feeling a duty of care to Chiyo, demanded two officers ride in the back with the teenaged drug dealers. He didn't want any more bloodshed today and he knew Matsu would kill the girl if he got the chance... 

L sighed and ran a hand through his hair. His shirt was ruined, his ribs ached but damn if it didn’t feel good to FINALLY have Matsu in handcuffs. Now all they would have to do is put pressure on both of them to come clean (L figured that wouldn’t be too difficult considering his undercover footage and Chiyo’s penchant for self preservation) and hopefully countless young lives would be spared. 

Light approached with a field first aid kit and sat L down on a nearby bench. The knife had cut through several layers of skin, and as Light cleaned and disinfected the wound he noted it would probably leave a scar. 

L sat silently and watched Light as he applied a pressure bandage to his arm and wrist. 

“L... What you did was completely reckless and could have got you killed” Light scolded. 

L smiled at the words, he had been waiting for them.  
“Perhaps, but it worked. I only take risks if I am confident they will pay off” L flexed his wrist and hissed “Another scar there I should think”

Light looked up at his soon to be ex-partner and felt his stomach churn. To think of all they could have accomplished together... 

“It is only a flesh wound, Light, there's no need to look so glum”

Light swallowed thickly. Why had he had to go and ruin things? If he had never tried to kiss him they could still be partners. 

‘Don’t delude yourself. It was inevitable. You were attracted to him the moment you saw him and if you hadn’t have kissed him when you did it still would have happened...’

L frowned down at the auburn haired detective. Jesus, Light looked like he was about to cry or something... 

“Light, really, I am fine...”

“I know that, Idiot!” Light huffed angrily “I was just regretting that moment of weakness when I tried to kiss you. If I hadn’t maybe we could still be partners”

L scoffed, but softened when he realised how hurt Light looked. 

“Light... I admire you a great deal. You are... Someone special. Troubled, yes, but special. I might as well tell you this since we won’t be working together for very much longer. I sincerely wish you would just accept who you are and what you want...because if you did I would want to be with you”

Light’s heart *stopped* L would want to be with him? Did he mean as a work partner or something more? 

L smiled at the confused look on Light’s face and tentatively reached out to touch his face “You are beautiful, Light Yagami”

Light leaned into the soft touch to his face and closed his eyes as If committing the moment to memory. Seconds passed by and they just stared at each other, longing in their eyes. Something broke through the moment and Light dropped L's arm and surged upright. He leaned down over L and held his face in his hands and kissed him.  
L let him. He couldn’t stop him even if he wanted to. Instead, he carded his fingers through Light’s hair and opened his mouth. He bit back a moan when he felt Light's tongue twine with his. 

His body sang with joy and time was rendered meaningless. Each breath, each kiss fuelled the longing inside both of them. 

Rationally, L knew this moment would have to come to an end. It was bittersweet and he could taste the salt of Light’s tears as they kissed. They pulled apart, Amber locked with Grey and they just *breathed* together. 

“Light...”

“I know. That shouldn’t have happened” Light whispered, feeling as though he was caught in some spell. He couldn’t move away from L. 

“But it did happen” L murmured sadly “And I wish it would happen again”

Light smiled through his tears and leaned forward to press his lips against L's once more. L felt a tingle race through him as those soft lips moved on his. 

All too soon Light pulled away and L recognized the panic and shame in his eyes. 

“This was a mistake” Light rasped, cheeks flushed with colour as he tried to rationalize why the hell he had just done that. 

“No, it was not. It was a goodbye”

Light swallowed thickly and nodded his head. 

“Nearly all goodbyes are bittersweet” L couldn’t stop himself from smoothing Light’s hair back from his tear stained face, “Light...I wish with all my heart you could find peace and acceptance with who you are, but until you do... *if* you do, I cannot work with you. It isn’t fair on me and it isn’t fair on you either...”

“I’m sorry” Light whispered “I wish I could accept it, L, but I can’t”

L pulled light to him and gave him one last kiss. Light stiffened in his arms and made to push him away but L didn’t let him. Light had started this so he would finish it. 

When L did finally pull away Light had his eyes screwed shut tightly appearing as if he was at war with himself. 

“See you tomorrow, Yagami-San” L whispered. He swiftly turned on his heel and walked away from the devastated figure slumped on the bench.  
He needed space. He needed distance from Light before he did something as foolish as fall in love with someone who would never allow themselves to love him back. 

L thumbed a quick message to Naomi to come pick him up and forced himself to keep on walking, even when the sounds of Light's sobs reached his ears. 

Each step was agony but L forced himself to keep going. Tears streamed down his face as he battled against his heart. 

Distance. 

Each step he took brought him further and further from the one thing he wanted most.  
And that was just the way it would have to be. Because if Light Yagami never accepted himself for who he was and what he wanted, L knew his battered and sown-up heart would be broken beyond repair. 

And that was just something he couldn’t allow, because Light Yagami was a risk he wasn’t confident about taking. 

He wasn't ready to stake his heart on someone who could destroy it utterly...


	10. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light is missing L, and L is seeing shadows wherever he goes. A grisly double murder alerts him to Beyond's presence and L finally has the perfect oppertunity to take down Souichiro Yagami. Unfortunately, Light gets burned in the process...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You do it Baby! You wave that flag L! Fuck whoever you want and love whoever the fuck you want to ❤❤❤❤❤
> 
> Seriously, though. Fuck Homophobes and Bigotted assholes. That is the moral of this story, Kids!

Chiyo had been sentenced to four years with an eligibility for parole after two years served. L had worked tirelessly to secure that plea bargain for her and in return she had thrown Matsu and his associates under the bus. 

In just a week since their incarceration, the shit they were slinging had all but dried up. Matsu had gone down for 19 years and L had to admit he was fucking ecstatic with that result, And now that the Roofies case was wrapped up, L had no real reason to linger around the Central offices. Naomi was expanding her knowledge in the field of forensics, and being something of an expert in it, L spent most of his time tutoring her and solving cold cases. 

He hadn’t seen Light in over a week... But he would tonight. Tonight the annual Charity Gala was to take place. 

L nibbled his thumb as he hung up macabre photographs in the dark room. Two women had been brutally disembowelled on the outskirts of Tokyo three days ago. The crime scene had been horrific. The photos were even worse. Their terrified faces and glassy eyes were immortalized in those haunting photos. 

“Jesus, look at that!” Naomi murmured, pointing to a photograph of what L supposed was a chunk of large intestine that had been torn from one of the women and thrown against a wall.   
L followed it's bloody smear down the wall with his eyes. 

This was more than just a double homicide, it was a desecration... 

“Despite the blood splatter and the absolute chaos of the scene they left no prints” L sighed, tearing his eyes away from that disturbing photograph, “I am struggling to understand how that is possible, Naomi. Clearly our killer has more than a basic understanding of crime scene forensics. They even wiped the fucking lightbulbs”

Naomi nodded as she ‘Tsk’d’ in disgust over the photos “We should get the Autopsy reports soon. Never know, might be something there”

L shrugged, doubtful of that. Obviously the two young women had died by severe haemorrhage and trauma, but he had already established there had been no defensive wounds on either of them and that told him they had been incapacitated before the slaughter. 

Toxicology reports had came back clean as a whistle. It was infuriating. 

“I think we should go back to the scene” L muttered as he switched on the lights, “My gut is telling me there is something that’s been missed here. This crime scene is just too perfect and *nothing* is perfect”

Naomi slipped on her coat, ready to go in an instant “Well, let’s get going then. Oh, and you owe me a Starbucks”

L rolled his eyes and smirked at his partner. “Fine, even though I bought you coffee *and* lunch yesterday, you Freeloader”

Naomi smirked and sauntered out the door. She fucking loved having Lawliet as a partner. 

 

***********

 

Ray Penbar was a man of few words. He was quiet, stoic and overall as boring as hell. Light repressed the urge to roll his eyes as Ray insisted on reading over his case report *again*  
He missed L. He missed the constant crunching sounds of him eating something vile and sugary. He missed the stupid music L used to play as he worked. He even missed overhearing L's annoyingly frequent phone calls (during work hours, obviously) to his bizarre best friends Matt and Mello. 

He just *missed* him. L had said goodbye to him and had effectively walked out of his life. Even if he still worked in the same building he might as well have been on another planet. L and Misora had landed a grim case a few days ago and hadn't really been seen since. He’d had to ask around until he got the information he was after. L and Misora were holed up in the Lab's and had even set up their workstation down there. 

Light was like a hound at point. The slightest mention of L's name sent his heart racing. He’d even resorted to sitting with his father and Kitamura during breaks, just on the off chance they decided to discuss L and Misora's case. Sometimes they did, and Light soaked up their conversation, their utterance of *his* name (initial?) Like a cactus storing away water to get them through dryer times. 

And boy was he experiencing some dry times. Ray was dryer than a dessert, rarely smiled and had the awful habit of clicking his pen as he filled in paperwork. 

Light had spent many hours fantasizing about various slow and painful ways he could kill Penbar and his personal favourite was shoving that fucking pen down the man's throat and making him choke on it... 

So to say he was on edge was an understatement.

What’s more, Kiyomi was acting weird and hadn’t even been pestering him for sex (not that he minded) and with each hour that passed without even a sighting of L his despondency grew deeper. 

L's shadow was everywhere, a barely perceptible presence only Light could feel and it was slowly driving him insane. 

In an effort to feel some kind of connection he’d even kept a KitKat wrapper from one of L's many snacks in his desk drawer and he had to admit he'd crossed the line there. He’d gone from mourning his ex partner to an utter fucking creep. 

‘Those kisses though...’ Light sighed as he lost himself in memory. L had tasted so sweet and the feel of his cheekbones as he'd held his face...

‘I really hope you come tonight. Even if you spend the whole night with Misora and don’t even talk to me, I don’t care. I just need to see you again' Light let out another little sigh at his thoughts and it attracted his partner's attention. 

He'd been sighing and mooning about like a lovesick schoolgirl all morning and it was making Ray’s jaw ache. He wouldn’t be surprised if he needed dental work with the sheer amount of teeth grinding he had been doing since becoming Light Yagami’s partner. 

“Light-San, if you are missing him that much why don’t you just text him and tell him so?”

Light floundered, mouth dropping open as he tried to think of something to say. When nothing came to mind he decided it was probably best to just go down that well travelled road called denial. 

“Who?”

Ray rolled his eyes at the deliberately obtuse question. “Lawliet-San, obviously. You’ve been like it all week but today you are really getting on my nerves”

Light flushed and dropped his gaze.   
“Sorry...”

Ray pushed away his paperwork and levelled Light with a no-nonsecence stare. 

“Look, Light-San, Naomi's told me everything that went on between you, and I understand you are...anxious about the feelings you have for him, but as your partner I feel the need to point out you are fooling no one except yourself. Even if you can’t come to terms with your attraction with him just ask him to go for a coffee with you and Naomi or something. Just please, for the love of god, stop sighing and staring pensively out of the window like some jilted housewife”

Light stared at the man with comically wide eyes. He decided death by choking on a pen was too kind for Ray Penbar. 

Ray glanced down at his phone and a small frown appeared on his face. 

“Naomi’s text, she and L want a pair of fresh eyes on the Dawson Sister's murder scene. Guess your wish has come true, you will see Prince not-so-charming once again” 

Light glared balefully but it was a useless attempt. He was already half way out the door, a goofy smile on his face at the prospect of seeing L again.

 

**********

 

L tried not to think about Light or the fact that Light and Ray were on their way to the crime scene. He was 24 years old. He could be mature and civil. He would not think about those kisses and his own bitter regret when it came to Light Yagami. 

He would think of the case and how the hell they were going to solve it.

“Oh, *fuck*” L breathed, suddenly remembering what day it was. He needed to contact Anton as soon as possible. He left Misora to comb over the scant evidence that had been collected and dialled Anton. After a few rings his boyfriend/person-he-was-sleeping-with answered. 

“Hey, Baby!”

L’s lips quirked into a smile of their own violation as he shook his head. How was the man always so damn *happy?*

“Hey, um, I think work is going to run a little late this afternoon. Do you mind getting ready at yours and meeting me? I will text once I’ve finished up here”

“Sure, no problem, Beautiful, Mello and I are having a late lunch anyway so we’re behind too! Are you okay? I know your not really supposed to discuss it or go into details but... you've landed one hell of a grim case, L”

L smiled bitterly, “I'm alright... It's just so fucking frustrating”

“Poor Baby, I will help you work out some of those frustrations later if you like...”

‘Urgh, Anton, don’t do this to me now' L thought as a sizzle of lust raced down his spine. Still... A little flirting wouldn’t hurt anyone would it?   
“I am *very* frustrated, Ant” L couldn’t stop himself from purring in return, “You will have your work cut out for you...”

L shivered as Anton's husky laugh sounded down the phone and into his ear. That laugh was fast becoming one of his favourite things to hear.   
“I am a very *hard* worker, Baby, don’t worry about that”

“Oh I know *that* Babe” L grinned, thinking back to the previous night's sexploits with a leery expression. 

“L! Will you stop having phone sex with Mr Hot Russian and get over here please?!”

L nearly dropped his phone at Naomi's yell. His mouth dropped open when he spotted both Light and Ray waiting for him. Ray looked amused but Light looked like he'd been sucking on lemons. 

“Ha, better go, um, see you later!” L hung up the phone abruptly cutting out Anton and Mello's laughter. He pocketed it before glaring at Naomi. “I was *not* doing that, Massacre, Geez!”

Naomi raised a delicarly arched brow. It was pretty fucking obvious what kind of conversation they were having and usually she’d be down for trying to listen in but they *were* at a pretty grisly crime scene and all... 

“Penbar-San, Yagami-San” L greeted with just a hint of petulance in his tone, “Thanks for coming, we could do with a few extra pairs of hands. I want every wall scanned with the UV scanners”

“Why?”

L risked a glance at Light. ‘Shit, he looks so pale...I wonder has he missed me?’

“We-well, I would like to double check. There are no visible clues here but I am certain something is being over looked. I would like the entire scene combed over again”

“Making more work for yourself...and us” Ray muttered as he pulled on his gloves. 

“Yes, I am” L replied unapologetically “But you will thank me when I find what I am looking for” 

“He’s being through, Babe, and I trust his gut instinct on this” Naomi soothed her boyfriend “Come on, we will sweep the left and those two can take the right”

‘Oh yeah, thanks for that, Naomi' L thought as his partner paired up with her boyfriend and began scanning the walls. 

“Um...”

L broke the tension by handing Light a pair of gloves. He did his best to ignore that damn *something* that hung thickly in the air between them and concentrated on work. 

Making a beeline for where the organs were removed and lined up against the wall, L squatted down and scanned each area.   
Lungs. Liver. Bladder. Intestines. 

“No heart” he mumbled to himself. That was significant, he just wasn’t sure why. He grabbed the folio of photos taken at the scene and flicked through them. Several plastic bottles had been found lined up against the wall, and two had human tissue shoved inside them. Almost like...   
Eyes widening as a previously unthought-of of theory bubbled to the surface, L quickly dialled the Morgue technicians. 

“Hi, this is Lawliet, can you patch me through to Dr. Yanaita, it's urgent... Thanks...”

As he waited to be transferred L drummed his fingers against his thigh Impatiently. Finally after five rings he was transfered. He barely managed the expected pleasantries before he got down to business. “Dr, How far off are you from completing the autopsy report on the Dawson sisters? I see, well when you started did you notice anything unusual about the cuts used to remove the upper organs?”

As the Dr riffled through her notes and relayed the information to him L felt a fierce, sweet wave of vindication. The lungs and liver had been removed with expert precision and hardly any trauma had been caused to the bodies. However, it appeared the killer had been distracted or interrupted by something. They had switched tack from their medical incisions and ripped the woman's abdomens open and yanked out the rest of their organs. This was when the killer also gave up on trying to stuff the organs into the plastic bottles... 

“This killer is deranged and they are reactive and prone to panic. They drugged the victims with an overdose of potent sedatives and used some medical knowledge to open up their chests... This killer was trying to copy the organ removal technique of the ancient Egyptians! They even tried using those plastic bottles as makeshift Canopic jars!”

“Holy *shit*” Naomi breathed. She had watched a documentary on the history channel a few months ago about, and now that she knew what she was looking for the signs were everywhere. She felt fiercely proud of L’s ability to see what others had missed and clasped his shoulder.   
As his team chatted excitedly at this potential breakthrough L focused on calming his churning stomach. 

He knew of one person whose skill set, interests and chaotic personality matched those displayed by the killer. 

And that person was Beyond Birthday... 

************

 

It was hard to walk away from the scene at the end of the day, but L was already running late and Anton would be waiting for him. 

The others had left hours ago and L had spent the afternoon in a numb state of shock. Now he knew what he was looking for he saw evidence pointing straight to Beyond Birthday wherever he looked. 

Beyond had always been fascinated by Egyptology. He’d studied it for a few years before he got bored and dropped out. He’d even been to Egypt a few times. Beyond had once said he saw patterns in everything and L felt his stomach churned as the UV light revealed swirls of blood in various patterns and hierologryphs. The most numerous was the ‘Ankh’ symbol and L gritted his teeth. Of course Beyond would find it amusingly ironic to scrawl the symbol of life all over the desecration of it. 

He would have to write up his report in the morning. He had what he needed for now (save peace of mind anyway) and secured the scene. As he walked to his car his skin prickled.   
He whirled around and glanced around the car park, hand drifting to his gun automatically. 

“Is it you, Beyond?” L called into the darkness. His only answer was the howling of the wind. “If it is you stop being such a little bitch and come out and face me! I’m not afraid of you!”

The wind seemed to laugh at his words. He was obviously afraid of him. 

L huffed and walked quickly to his car. He didn’t have time for Beyond's games. The sensation of being watched lingered as L drove of. It was when he was stopped at a red light did he happen to glance over at the passenger seat. 

A red rose. 

“You bastard!” L snarled. He reached for the rose and winced as a thorn pierced his flesh. Thinking nothing of it, he automatically sucked on the small wound as he waited for the lights to change. 

He shoved the rose in the glovebox and tried not to have a nervous breakdown. Why had Beyond had to follow him to Japan? Why had he felt the need to *kill* to get his attention?! 

“Beyond was always unhinged, and at one time I liked that about him” L admitted to himself, “But he was just a bit strange and unusual...he wasn’t a killer...”

The car behind him beeped their horn and L glared at them. God dammit, he was having a quarter life crises here! 

L blasted the stero all the way to the Gala but it did nothing to cheer him up. He felt guilty he didn’t even have time to change, much less pick Anton up but there was no point in worrying about it now. 

When L arrived at the lavish ceremony more than one person looked down their nose at him. He was covered in dust and looked exhausted while they were dressed in their finest. He couldn’t blame them. 

“Lawliet-San!”

L bit back a sigh as none other than Souichiro Yagami walked towards him. 

“Yagami-San” L greeted politely, even though it set his teeth on edge, “Have you seen Naomi? She has a change of clothes for me”

“Yes, she’s waiting for you inside. Might I ask... Are you two seeing each other? You seem awfully close”

L’s lips curled as a wicked plot unfolded in his mind. He knew Naomi would run with it.   
“Yes we are, but please keep that to yourself, Souichiro-San, since Ray is still cut up about it...”  
Souichiro looked relieved. L hid his smirk as he located Naomi, who was waiting for him by the men's toilets. 

“Loitering outside of the gents, Massacre? Why am I not surprised” L greeted, kissing her cheek. “You look beautiful, by the way. Blue really suits you”

Naomi smirked at L's greeting and gave a little twirl. Her gown was of the deepest royal blue with a sweetheart neckline and flared skirt. It reminded L of the dresses worn in the 1950's and it made Naomi look timeless and elegant (not that he planned on telling her that) 

“Thank you! You look like shit- go in there and have a wash and get changed”

L smiled at the ‘compliment' and moved to do as she asked when he noticed Souichiro peering over at them. He leaned down to whisper in Naomi's ear and pulled her inside the bathroom with him. He was going to try and enjoy tonight and trolling Souichiro Yagami was a good place to start... 

 

************

 

Light was getting fed up of Kiyomi's sour face and vieled insults by now. It was like she had had a personality transplant sometime in the last week. 

She stood by his side and smiled nicely as guests complimented them on what a handsome young couple they made, but Lifht could tell she was really digging deep to be polite. 

That was so unlike her it worried him. What if she had somehow found out about his goodbye kiss with L? Or even worse, his therapy sessions?   
Was she keeping it under wraps until tonight was over? Kiyomi cared about saving face, whatever was troubling her would wait until tomorrow. 

“Do you want some Champagne, Darling?” Light asked, hoping a bit of booze might put a smile on her face. Kiyomi shook her head and Light's stomach turned. Kiyomi *never* refused a glass of champagne. 

“Yes and then apparently he and Misora disappeared into the toilets together...”

Light whipped his head around at Mogi and Aizawa’s idol gossip. He? L? Missora? 

He excused himself and hurried over to them. He didn’t really work with them much sine they had been partners for years but he got along well with them. 

“Hey guys, have you seen L?”

Aizawa snickered, “No, but Massacre has. Apparently they were spotted sneaking off together together to the men's restroom downstairs!”

Light reeled. Missora and L? Since when?! They must have got their wires crossed, there was no way... 

Light faked a laugh and a knowing smirk and sauntered away from them. As soon as he was in the clear he dashed down the grand staircase to the main foyer. He had to see for himself If it was true. 

He sneaked past his father and entered the toilets. He screeched to a halt as he heard L's familiar drawl drift down from the far cubicle.   
“Naomi, fuck!”

“Don't be such a big baby, L! Honestly, you want to impress him, don’t you?”

‘Impress him? Does she mean me?!’ Light's eyes widened and his heart beat faster at the thought. 

“I do but...Owww!”

Misora huffed “I don’t know why I’m even bothering. That hair of yours is in a perpetual state of bedhead. There. That’s all I can do. You actually scrub up pretty decent you know”

“Heh, thanks. That's strangely sweet of you to say. Normally you’re just a bitch”

Misora shrieked with laughter and let herself out of the cubicle to touch up her makeup. 

Light had gone. 

Light raced back upstairs before Kiyomi could get too pissed off and slipped back into the role expected of him. He was relieved Aizawa and Mogi had gotten the wrong end of the stick about L and Misora. The very thought of them together made his stomach churn in jealousy. 

The speeches were starting, and all eyes turned to the stage. All eyes except Light's. He stared in utter disbelief as L, beautiful in a dark blue silk shirt and black dress pants, entered the room hand in hand with Misora AND Volkov like the very poster boy for Bisexuality. 

Whispers rippled through the crowd as L led his dates to their table, a smug smile on his face that turned smugger with each turn of a head as he passed. 

‘Goodness, who is *he?*” Kiyomi whispered, utterly scandalized. 

“That’s L, my ex partner” Light admitted through a mouth that felt full of ash. 

“Thank goodness you’re not working with him anymore” Kiyomi sniffed “Honestly, they will let anyone in on the force these days won’t they?”  
Light nodded, head heavy and heart aching. 

L looked over at him, a clear challenge in his piercing grey eyes: ‘I'm showing I’m confident in who I am, let's see you do the same!’

L threw down the gauntlet when he tilted his chin up to Volkov and received his kiss. The Russian smiled against L's mouth and kissed gently, aware they were in public but in utter support of L's plan to bring a little diversity to the gala. 

“You are getting so many looks right now” Naomi whispered, eyes gleaming “Keep up the good work boys!”

L smirked against Ant's mouth and carded his fingers through that thick brown hair he loved so much. 

‘Oh I will' he thought. 

“Ahem!”

L lazily pulled away from Anton and fixed a bored stare on Souichiro Yagami who just so happened to be sitting on the next table over. 

“Are you choking, Yagami-San?” L asked innocently, “You appear quite flustered”

Misora spotted Kitamura out of the corner of her eye and nudged L in the ribs. Now was their chance to take Souichiro down a peg or two. 

“If you wouldn’t mind keeping such... displays to yourselves I would appreciate it”

The speeches were still going on in the background, but all those around L's table were more interested in the brewing drama. Souichiro hadn’t seen Kitamura arrive and L was going to play that to his full advantage. 

“What displays would those be?” L tilted his head and put a finger to his mouth “If you are referring to me kissing my boyfriend I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you mean. That’s hardly a display. Why, Isabelle over there is kissing Mark right now! Is *that* a display too?”

Souichiro went near purple with outrage “That is normal behaviour!” he snapped. 

L's eyes narrowed as the trap snapped shut around Souichiro Yagami and his bigoted ass.   
“Oh. You think I’m abnormal then?”

“Yes! It is immoral and *disgusting* for two men or two women to delude themselves into thinking they have the right to be together. It is against nature and a sin against God!”

L flicked his eyes to Kitamura “Well, perhaps you should ask what your *boss* has to say about that” L purred. He leaned in for another kiss from Anton and it was willingly given. When he pulled away his eyes gleamed with triumph “While I am aware Japan is woefully backwards in accepting homosexuality and basic human rights I believe you will find you have just publically committed the offence of discrimination”

“L, please...” Light rushed over. 

“And here's another one” L snarked. He noted the way Kiyomi sneered down at him and saw *red* “Tell your girlfriend to stop looking down her nose at me or I start talking”

“No, please” Light begged, terror freezing him to the spot. 

“Talking? About what? Did you try and do something to my boyfriend?” Kiyomi hissed and stepped forward threatingly. Naomi had L's back and placed herself between them. 

“Back off, Takada, or I will smack that sour face of yours into next week and smile when you *try* and sue me for Gbh” Naomi smirked down at the shorter woman. She, wisely, backed off a bit and stepped away from L. 

“What in the blazzes is going on here?” Kitamura finally cried. He’d had quite a few whiskeys by this point and was finding it hard to catch up. All he knew right now was that Souichiro Yagami *had* just committed an offence and L was gunning for him. He felt torn between wanting to protect his oldest friend and partner and supporting L in his desire to condemn him. 

“It is a disgrace, Kitamura-San!” Kiyomi rounded on him “It is disgraceful you employ openly homosexual officers”

“What about homosexual officers who aren’t so open?” L murmured, eyes fixing on Light, “Or officers who are so deep in the fucking closest they attend twice weekly gay conversion therapy? Hmm, you’ve gone awfully quiet there Light. Nothing to say?”

“L” Light whispered, tears in his eyes. 

“You said you were my friend, Light, and yet you just stand there and say nothing when your father and beard lay into me for something I cannot help! I can’t change who I am and I am damn well not afraid of it either!”

“Beard?” Anton, who had been sitting quietly up until now, tugged on L's sleeve. “What is the meaning of that word?”

L smiled spitefully. “Well, Ant, it is slang for when a closeted homosexual person dates someone of the opposite sex for appearances sake and the lovely Miss Takada over there just so happens to be Light's beard. Yes, Kiyomi, your wonderful boyfriend has kissed *me* several times now, but instead of being a man and accepted who he is he keeps running away to therapy... Or you, his *beard*"

And then shit just *happened* Kiyomi stared in utter horror at her ‘boyfriend’ and slapped him straight across the face. The slap rang out through the cavernous ball room. 

Souichiro fainted. 

Kitamura went pale.

And L just sipped his champagne. Game, set and fucking MATCH. 

“That was fucking awesome” Naomi whispered, voice softened by utter awe. 

“Kitamura-San, if you will excuse me I don’t believe I will be staying for the rest of the gala” L slammed his empty glass of champagne down on the table and stood up. As one, Anton and Naomi stood with him, their hands clasped in solidarity. 

“I believe I will have an early night and make some arrangements to contact my lawyer. If you would kindly inform Yagami-San of my full intent to press charges that would be wonderful. See you in work on Monday!”

L turned on his heel and strode out of the hall, leaving nothing but utter devastation in his wake.


	11. Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light gets some life changing news and L?  
> He's FIGHTING for his life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *munching popcorn* SO much drama!😍

Anton stared down at L, concern blossoming in his chest. He could see beads of sweat form on L's brow and could detect a faint rattle in his throat each time he breathed. His breaths were ragged and shallow. 

After L's inflammatory actions at the Gala L had asked to return home and Anton's expectations of a hot night in bed soon fell flat. L appeared to have become unwell very suddenly indeed. He complained of shivers and feeling hot and cold in the car on the way home and by the time they had arrived back at his apartment L was barely conscious. Anton had stripped him, put him in bed and checked his temperature. It was a little high at 38 but nothing too concerning... 

But then L had began to mumble and thrash about, clearly in the full grip of a severe and sudden seizure. 

Anton had no idea what to do so called the first person he could think of: Naomi Misora.  
Naomi was on her way over so all he had to do was sit with L and mop his brow until backup arrived. 

L cried out in his sleep and Anton sighed softly, fingers carding through L's hair to try and soothe him. 

“Light!”

The Russian couldn’t help but frown at the sound of that name on L's lips. What if Light Yagami was the one L really wanted? 

‘I pray that isn’t true... I’m starting to fall for him...’ Anton squeezed his eyes shut and pressed a kiss to L's clammy forehead. 

He was startled from his troubling thoughts by the sound of L's front door being unlocked.

“Hello?”

“Bedroom!” Anton called back, dabbing at L's face again. His body was *burning* beneath him now... “Quickly, he's getting worse!”

Naomi barged through the bedroom door and took one look at L. 

“Call an ambulance, Anton. This is no ordinary fever”

Anton followed her eyes to where they fixated: L's fingertips were turning *black*

***********

Meanwhile, Light was sat in his parents living room and withering under the furious glares of his father and girlfriend. 

His therapist had been called and was on his way to this emergency intervention. 

‘A fucking intervention!’ Light had to scoff, despite how terrified he was. 

“Stop glaring, Light, this is for your own good” Souichiro snapped as he tossed back a whiskey, “This disgusting little crush you have on Lawliet may well just cost me my job you know”

“I'm sorry, I will talk to him and see if I can persuade him to-”

Kiyomi let out a scornful laugh at his words, “Oh *no* Light, you will NOT be talking to that piece of filth again. Ever”

Light flinched. Despite everything L had said and done the very thought of not being able to talk to him was crushing. How was he supposed to ignore the only person who was interesting to him? 

Sachiko Yagami returned with a pot of tea and a strained smile. The clock ticked, its noise flooding through the silent room.

Sachiko cleared her throat and offered Kiyomi a small, “Tea, Dear?”

Kiyomi attempted to smile in return and nodded her head. One hand drifted to her belly and rubbed it unconsciously. Suddenly everything clicked into place for Light. Her mood swings, refusal of champagne and disinterest in sex... Kiyomi was pregnant! 

“When...?” Light croaked out, staring at Kiyomi’s belly in a mixture of awe and panic. 

“I'm 8 weeks along, Light” Kiyomi whispered, “I told your parents a few weeks ago and planned on telling you after the gala but then... *that* happened. You have hurt me terribly, Light, but we have a chance. You are going to be booked into a rehab therapy unit in Spain and undergo intensive conversion therapy. This is non negotiable if you want a part in your son or daughter's life”

Light swallowed thickly as he registered the words. He was going to be a *father*

Souichiro seemed pleased at his reaction and smiled at Kiyomi. The woman was remarkable in his eyes. She was carrying his grandchild and was determined to help Light back on the right path despite the pain his (disgusting) actions had caused her. 

“I'm going to be a Dad” Light tasted the words on his tongue. 

“Yes, and our child needs a father who is not tainted with unnatural urges... I wish you had told me” Kiyomi shook her head, “I knew there was something you were keeping from me, Light...”

“I'm sorry” Light whispered, L's flashing eyes and spiteful tone before his eyes. He was the worst kind of liar. He was lying to himself...He didn’t even know if he was apologizing to Kiyomi or L at this point. 

He just wanted this nightmare to end. 

The door bell rang and Souichiro shot off the couch to answer it. It was time to sort his son out for good. 

***********

L had gone into cardiac arrest just minutes after being taken to hospital. Misora was struggling to hold herself together, much less a sobbing Anton, when the thought hit her:

‘Has he come into contact with something? He is displaying symptoms of poisoning'

She roped a nurse into looking after Anton as she rushed to L's car. She hooked her elbow and smashed the passenger side window and opened the door. 

Anton had said L had been toying with something in the glove box on his way home but it had been too dark to see what it was. She rummaged in her bag for a pair of gloves (it always paid to be prepared, just in case) and snapped them on. 

If L had been poisoned as she suspected then she needed to get the poisoned item to the toxicologists as soon as possible. She pulled open the glove box and her sharp eyes spotted a withered rose almost immediately. 

‘Beyond sent him roses...’

She carefully plucked the rose by its stem and dropped it into a spare evidence bag. 

If Beyond Birthday had poisoned her partner she was going to track the freak down herself and drown him in the harbour. 

She ran all the way back to the critical care ward and flung the rose down on the desk, startling the receptionist. 

“This needs to be tested! L Lawliet has been poisoned”

Frightened whispers rang out through the waiting room and Naomi lowered her tone slightly. 

“This needs to be tested *now*” she hissed, “Do I need to smack you, woman?!”

Finally the receptionist seemed to gather herself together. She whimpered, shook her head and shot off to find someone who could help. 

She snapped her fingers with impatience as the Toxicologists whispered with the receptionist, occasionally glancing her way. 

‘Come ON! L's having a fucking heart attack!’ 

“Agent Misora, this way please”

Naomi grabbed the rose and rushed towards the Dr. She was not prepared to loose her partner. And if L did die she would somehow bring him back to life and kill the little bastard herself! She wiped away her tears and followed the Toxicologists to their lab. 

She thumbed a quick message to Anton and Ray to inform them of her findings. She asked Ray to get his ass to the hospital and act as investigator. She was too much of a wreck to even think about asking questions right now. Ray messaged her back near instantly to inform her both he *and* Kitamura were on their way to the hospital. 

Naomi counted L fortunate that he had arrived into hospital first thing on a Saturday morning. The wards were busy, but not overly busy. Due to the nature of his condition he had a team around him to stabilize him and bring him back from heart failure. 

L's heart had failed three times, but somehow he had been brought back each time  
.  
Naomi decided L's new nickname would be ‘Strong Heart' for both his astonishing comeback from repeated heart failure and to honour how deeply and sincerely he loved someone. She did not even consider the chance L would not be alive to receive his new nickname. She couldn’t afford to think like that. 

‘You're such a fool, Yagami. You’ve given up your chance to have such a dedicated love bestowed on you...’

Naomi hesitated as her finger hovered over the call button. Should she call Light? She knew L had deep feelings for Light, even if he said otherwise. Would he want Light to be aware of his condition? Would he want Light there if he died...? 

Naomi sighed as she realized ‘Yes' was the answer to the final question she asked herself. She dialled his number and sighed bitterly. She wasn’t surprised when she received no answer.  
“Yagami, this is Misora. L has been rushed to hospital, suspected poisoned. He's gone into cardiac arrest three times so none of us know if he is going to pull through... If you really care about him then prove it! This is life and death, Yagami! We're in ward 10 of the Shibuya Met hospital. If you choose not to come then I swear to god if I ever see you so much as LOOK at L, IF he survives, I will knock your teeth out!”

There. Job done. 

“Prissy little fucker” Naomi muttered sullenly. Part of her could emphasize with Light Yagami and his situation. The young man had been indoctrinated to believe who he was and what he felt had been wrong from a young age... But most of her just wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. 

Kitamura and Ray arrived 40 minutes later and Naomi collapsed into her boyfriend's arms, the fight draining out of her as she sobbed into his chest. 

“We will find whoever is responsible for this” Ray murmured, stroking her dark hair. 

“Any news on the toxicology results yet?” Kitamura asked. He looked a bit worse for wear, but he seemed genuinely distressed at L's condition as well. He had rushed straight in from work (not that he had been doing much work anyway, what with everything he had to worry about) 

“No, nothing. L is in recovery being closely monitored and having a full system flush...”

Anton hurried over to the small group, his face ashen. 

“What is it?” Naomi whimpered, bracing herself for the worst. 

Anton wiped his eyes and shook his head “Nothing, it's nothing...”

Naomi knew *something* must have happened to shake Anton. She drew him away from the group. 

“Spill it”

Anton’s eyes filled with tears, “He’s calling for *him* Naomi. He loves Light, doesn’t he?”

“...I don’t know, Anton” Naomi hedged on a lie. “I just don’t know. I know he cares about you deeply, but now isn’t the right time for this. Did yet get hold of Matt and Mello?”

Anton's shoulders slumped but he nodded his head “They are on their way now”

“Agent Misora”

Naomi jerked her head to the side so quickly Ray fretted she had given herself whiplash.  
“Can you come with us please. Lab results are back...”

“Is he going to die?” Naomi got straight to the point. 

The Dr gulped and ran a hand through his hair, “At this stage we just don’t know. He is in a stable but critical condition. He's been poisoned with an acute dose of Arsenic. We will be prepping him to have his stomach pumped and hopefully we can stabilize his heart at the same time”

“Arsenic. The rose he gave him was infused with Arsenic...” Naomi turned to Kitamura “Sir, We need to get a warrant out for attempted murder. I know who has done this and his name is Beyond Birthday...”

***********

Fate could be very cruel. 

Souichiro Yagami had insisted on smashing Light's phone before he whisked him away to the airport. Light was to have no contact with ANYONE but his Wife-to-be who would be travelling with him to Spain. No one knew it but this action prevented Light from rushing to L's side, because despite everything, Light Yagami would have been there in a heartbeat... 

Light felt utterly numb as Kiyomi took his hand in hers. The words ‘Shot gun wedding' flashed through his mind as he stared at the woman his family decided he would marry (for properties sake, of course) 

“We'd best check in” Kiyomi cleared her throat, tears in her eyes as she tried to gather the courage she would need to help her boyfriend “In two months time we will be back, and everything will be better I promise”

Light stifled a sob.  
How could anything be better without L? 

“I love him” Light blurted out. 

“...No, you just *think* you do” Kiyomi slipped her hand from his “I am to be your *wife* Light. I am carrying your child. All your love must go to us now, your family”

Light rose to his feet when Kiyomi gestured and followed her to the check in terminal. He felt so faraway from everything that was happening and he is walked on wooden legs. 

It was only when they were sat on the plane did reality *finally* hit him. 

He loved L Lawliet, and that love would HAVE to die. He was to be a father and a husband. He was to live the life his family wanted for him, a life he wanted for himself, rather than a life of constant struggle and conflict. 

As the plane took off Light whispered a little prayer for forgiveness and a single apology to L.  
Kiyomi laid her head against his shoulder and clutched his hand tightly. She had heard what Light had mumbled but did not want to give his delusion any merit by speaking of it. Soon enough Light would be healed from the demons that plagued him. He would be an excellent husband and father. 

Their future was bright, if only they had the courage to fight for it. 

Courage was something the determined Takada Kiyomi had never lacked. She would fight for Light and she intended to win! 

The plane rose higher in the sky and Light finally managed to drift off to sleep. He dreamt about his home thousands of miles below him. He dreamt about L. 

He dreamt about living a life that could never be his... 

***********

L lay unconscious, his skin deathly pale as machines beeped and flashed all around him. 

The Dr's were cautiously optimistic he would pull through, but that was only due to the speed of Naomi's actions and her quick thinking. 

Matt, Mello, Anton, Kitamura herself and Ray had all rallied around L's bedside. The only person missing was the person L himself wanted there the most: the person who’s name he kept mumbling. 

Light. 

Kitamura's face hardened and he excused himself from the room. He took out his phone and dialled Souichiro. Whether L was aware he was calling for Light or not was debateable, but the fact was Light’s presence might sooth him. 

He eventually got an answer and checked at the gruff, tearful quality to his friend’s voice. 

“Ah, sorry, I was meaning to call you to discuss... Well, Lawliet” Souichiro muttered “And if he is gunning for me how long you think I will still have a job for”

“None of that is important right now. Where is Light?”  
“...He is on his way to Spain to attend intensive therapy-“

Kitamura could have screamed. On his way to Spain?  
“He is *GAY* Souichiro! No amount of ‘therapy’ is going to change who that boy is! What’s more you can’t just decide he can have time off like that! We are two agents down now!”

“... Two? I’ve been suspended already I suppose”

“No, you fool. L Lawliet has been poisoned. He is calling for Light...”

“Well, Light is on his way to Spain. I want him to have nothing to do with Lawliet-”

Kitamura ground his teeth as fury blazed through him. Souichiro Yagami was such a pig-headed *fool*

“We are *three* agents down, You're suspended effective immediately” Kitamura snapped his phone shut and went to fetch a coffee, all the while wondering how the hell he was going to explain Light's absence to L when he woke up. 

If he woke up...


	12. Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light writes and L thinks. Discoveries are made, Lives are changed and hearts are broken...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (From beneath a mound of tissues) I'M FINE!

(Light’s Therapy Journal Entries)

_Day 21:_

_The smell of incense is suffocating. It hangs so thickly in the air with each breath I take it feels like it's clogging my lungs. I really don’t understand how this smog is supposed to help us feel relaxed and at peace. It makes me long for the fresh mountain air of Japan. It makes me long for *him* He was like a breath of fresh air. He would do things, say things that just challenged the social norms and expectations around him. From the instant I laid eyes on him I just knew L Lawliet was different. Other. Untouchable. He was freedom personified and I wanted it. Wanted him. As I write this the track on the stereo changes to some bells and flute melody and I grit my teeth against it. They might as well be playing a soundtrack of nails running down a chalkboard, because those soft bells are just as to me. It's been three weeks since I set foot in Sunshine Springs retreat (I know, I hate the name too) and I have learned and decided a few very important things. Since I am supposed to be using this journal to document my recovery I will use it to write down what I have realised, though I don’t think the therapists will be best pleased..._

_Firstly, I have learn that I am Gay. I have always *been* gay and I always will be gay (See, L? I am no longer lying to myself! The truth is supposed to set you free so why am I still locked up?! I wish I could talk to you. You would have an answer for me. You have an answer for everything._

_For now, to preserve my sanity, I am going to pretend I am writing to you. This journal is going to contain nothing but the truth, I promise) Anyway, after my first week here Kiyomi tried to have sex with me. The sight of her breasts and pussy just made me want to shy away from her. She pulled out the tears and screamed at me for not trying hard enough. I did try, and she couldn’t get me hard. I just couldn’t pretend anymore. A switch had been flicked and I simply couldn’t face sleeping with her. If I had been able to manage the act would it have been some sort of rape I wonder? Who knows. I am not sleeping with her again anyway. I told her that and she stormed out of the therapy village. She's currently not speaking to me. I don’t care about that. The second thing I learned after listening in on a few group sessions is that I have been indoctrinated from a young boy to believe who I am and what I want is wrong._

_Teenagers are attending this therapy course, forced here by their parents to ‘set them on the straight and narrow' I feel so sorry for them. I know you would too, L. But, I am a 24 year old man not a teenager. I am responsible for my own actions and my family cannot control me. Not anymore._

_That leads me to my third decision I have made. I will not be marrying Kiyomi. I can’t. I refuse to be forced into living a lie (Well, more of a life than I have been living anyway) don’t love her, I don’t want her and I DON'T HAVE to do what they say. I am going to be like you, L, l will be as bold and as reckless as possible until I too can attain the freedom I want. It's time for dinner. They served this really bright and sweet summer berry cake the other day. It made me think of you..._

_Day 23:_

_I couldn’t write yesterday. Something clicked in my brain and I simply cannot think of anything else: Kiyomi said she was 8 weeks gone... BUT, We only started having full intercourse six weeks ago. Oh, L. I am such a fool. If you were here right now I know you would probably snark at me for not being able to count. Or you'd make some faux-spiteful comment about it... But I also know you would care. You are a very caring person, you just hide it under layers of snark. Fuck I miss you._

_Day 27:_

_Well, L, the shit well and truly hit the fan today. Kiyomi FINALLY came to visit and I greeted her with a calendar and asked just how it was possible she conceived two whole weeks before we first had sex. I know you don’t really know Kiyomi very well, in fact you don’t know her at all, so let me explain what she does: she whines and bitches until she gets what she wants and she twists the truth. She tried it._

_She said she would never cheat on me and that of course the baby was mine. I must have been drunk and not remembered we'd slept together. Then she began screaming that perhaps she DID cheat on me since I never wanted to sleep with her anyway. She raved at me for being a disgusting piece of filth, blah blah blah. I let her rave away until she had nothing left to rave about. For once her words and disappointment didn’t hurt me. The truth is like some kind of armour, isn’t it? Anyway, I just sat sipping tea until she was finished and asked her directly: what kind of woman attempts to trap a man by pretending she is pregnant with his child? She broke down and admitted she had slept with a fellow news anchor. He's married already and wanted nothing to do with her after he'd gotten his dick wet. She tried to blame her straying on me. I told her I just didn’t care anymore. I know you are going to hate me for saying this but I will say it anyway: if she had been pregnant with my child I would have married her. I would have tried to make things work for the sake of the child. But I would never have slept with her and I would never have loved her... I suppose I would have just tried to be the best father I could. A good father, one who would love their child and do ANYTHING to make them happy. Basically I wanted to be different than my own father. Not that it matters now. Kiyomi is on her own. She's flying back to Japan tomorrow. We're over. The relief I feel is indiscrible. I am going to purchase a new phone tomorrow and try and ring the station. I don’t even care if you shout at me, L, I just want to hear your voice._

_Oh, and guess what? Tomorrow's entry will be my final one. I am going to photocopy these pages and leave them on my bed. I am going to pack my things and bring this journal home with me for you to read in person. This therapy excursion has done all it promised to do: It's made me accept the truth of who I am. Somehow I don’t think the therapists will see it like that, but I owe them nothing. I don’t deserve to sit through another session being branded an abomination to a God I don’t even believe in. I’m gay. I would be lying if this realization leads me to just fuck any guy I see or drape the rainbow bloody pride flag over me. I know it is going to take time to fully accept myself and get over all that has happened (I’m mainly talking about my father... He's fucked my head up for *years) But I’m Light- that hasn’t changed. You always said I just have to accept who I am and I will feel better. In hindsight I wished I could have beloved you, but I think this was something I needed to discover on my own. I hope you can understand that, L. I think you would._

_Day 30:_

_I have packed my things. I’ve begged off therapy and the group BBQ by pleading a stomach ache._

_These pages are left for the staff to read._

_To the Staff at SunnyHell:_

_What you are doing to people is toxic. Homosexuality is NOT a choice. It CANNOT be cured. It just IS. I am gay, and with each passing day I am more and more okay with that. I am starting to be okay with who I am for the first time in over a decade. My father, therapists, the church- they’ve all tried to repress the ‘demons’ inside me and here they are! Wearing Rainbow fucking hotpants and screaming LIGHT YAGAMI, YOU ARE GAY! JUST ACCEPT WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE AND MOVE ON! So that's what I’m going to do. Thanks for the therapy. Your bigotry, indoctrination and hatred have only served to reinforce my acceptance in who I am. I really wish you could all meet someone called L Lawliet. He'd wipe the floor with the lot of you!_

_I think you would appreciate my parting letter, L. Who knows, maybe you could write them one of your own oneday? I'd love to read it. Anyway, my time here is drawing to a close. I plan on leaving as soon as the others have gone to their little happy-clappy campfire session. I just wanted to say one more thing in this journal, just in case I don’t have the courage to say it to your face... I love you L. I think I began falling in love with you the moment I saw you. You’ve flipped my life completely upside down. No, fuck that. You’ve made the whole thing do a complete UTURN! And I am so deeply sorry my inability to accept who I am hurt you so deeply. Even if there is no hope for us as a couple I just pray I can be your friend. I’m crying now. I feel so fucking happy. Isn’t it surprising how heavy lies are when you carry them around on your shoulders everyday? It's time to stop writing. I am going to leave this journal on your desk for you to read (I can’t give you this in person, I would just die of embarrassment) All my love, Light._

 

_*************_

 

L stared moodly at the giant ‘GET WELL SOON!’ card his work colleagues had all signed. He wasn’t in bed with a cold, he was undergoing rehabilitation for fucking ARSENIC poisoning so they could all stick that obnoxiously stupid card up their arses as far as he was concerned.

If it wasn’t for Naomi that flower filled monstrosity would have been torn to shreds and in the bin by now.

Unfortunately, Naomi was running a tight ship. This was L's third week locked up in the observation ward and he was starting to loose his mind. The constant bleeps, stifling air and confused moans of the demented old dear next to him were eroding his sanity. L sighed and tore his eyes away from the inane bullshit on the television (‘Come Dine With Me') and flicked his eyes to Mello, who appeared quite chipper as he helped himself to L's chocolates and flipped through an interior design magazine.

“Mello, you're a twat. I nearly died. Fucking talk to me"

Mello blinked and looked up from his book. His face broke into a grin as L grinned back at him. 

"Love you too, Lawli”

L sighed again and reached for a caramel before Mello ate them all.

“Im so bored. When are they going to let me *out* of this place? Massacre won’t even tell me what's going on with the Case we’re working on, let alone if there has been any news of Beyond...”

Mello rolled his eyes and put down his magazine. He only had another hour of ‘guarding L duty' and then it was Matt's turn. He, Matt, Anton and Naomi had been taking it in turns to sit with L day and night throughout his stay in hospital. They were not taking ANY chances.

Beyond had vanished into thin air and even an arrest warrant and his picture plastered all over the news had led nowhere. No one had told L this, but they didn’t need to. L knew Beyond was lurking somewhere, his chameleon like ability to just *change* his appearance and hide in plain sight was something he was well too aware of.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“Vodka” L muttered sourly, eyes straying to that ridiculous television show despite himself. ‘Oh, Kathy's won. Jesus Christ, why do I even care?! This place is driving me INSANE' L forced his eyes away from the television and stared at Mello. “I am going insane” he declared.

“Oh, Hon, you were already there years ago” Mello soothed as he patted his arm, “I will have to owe you the vodka, but how about I go get you some fruit juice. You need the vitamins” L scoffed but smiled faintly as Mello wandered over to the vending machine just outside the door.

“Thanks, Mum!” L pulled his laptop to him and glanced over his emails, eyes widening as he saw a new email from none other than ‘I've fucked off to Spain for two months' Light Yagami. “What the hell...” L muttered as he clicked on it:

_‘L! I don’t have your phone number so I am hoping I’ve remembered your email address right. Long story short my dad destroyed my old phone and shoved me on a plane with Kiyomi to attend this therapy village in Spain. Needless to say I am no longer there and am writing this email as I wait for my plane home. I have a lot I want to say to you... Could we meet up for a coffee or something to talk? Light'_

L's heart thumped in his chest as he realised Light hadn’t even received the message Naomi had left for him. Did that mean he still cared? His fingers flew across the keyboard as he typed out his response:

_‘Light, I honestly thought you had dropped off the face of the earth. Firstly I want to apologize for being such a petty and vindictive bastard at the Gala. Secondly I should inform you I can’t meet you for coffee, but you can meet me. I’m currently locked up in the observation ward at Shibuya Met. Remember my crazy ex, Beyond? Well, the night of the Gala I found a rose in my car. It was laced with arsenic and I nearly died. Went into heart failure three times and stuck here now for the foreseeable future... It's very boring. I miss work. And I have missed you. Nearly dying reminded me how much I care for (L deleted that and put ‘like’ instead) you. I would like to hear whatever it Is you want to talk about. I suspect you have come to some realization if you have skipped therapy. If I can help you just ask. Hope to see you soon, L'_

When Mello returned L was *beaming*

“Light been in touch then?” L flushed at his transparency and turned the laptop to Mello.

“He didn’t *know* Mello! He reached out to me! That means he must still care for me, right?”

Mello scanned the email and slowly nodded his head. ‘Well bugger me backwards, has Light FINALLY accepted himself? And does that mean one day he and L might...’

Mello felt sad suddenly. If L did still hold a torch for Light then Anton deserved to know about it. The man deserved more than to just be a standby until L got the man he wanted. Mello chewed his lip as he considered how to bring that subject up with his prickly friend. As luck would have it, he didn’t need to.

“I need to break things off with Anton” L mumbled, jerking Mello from his thoughts, “I love Light. I cannot be with Anton physically when my heart belongs to someone else. Even if Light never accepts who he is and we are never together I am still going to love him! Fuck, Mello, what am I even going to say?”

Mello grabbed a pen and paper. “Tell me how you are feeling and we can look through it all and piece it together. You really like Ant, right?”

L nodded empathetically, “Mello, he's perfect! He’s kind, sweet...god he is everything I have ever wanted in a partner. He just isn’t *Light* I don’t want to hurt him! And I certainly don’t want to use him or... Or make him feel like I am only with him as a substitute for Light. I really...” L angrily grabbed a tissue to wipe his eyes, neither he nor Mello were aware of the tall figure who had frozen in the doorway as they continued, “I could love him, Mello. But it's Light. I’ve fallen in love with Light and there is fuck all I can do about it now. God damn I wish I could love Anton that way...”

“You would like to remain his friend, yeah?” Mello asked as he glanced up from his manic scribbling.

L teared up again. “I haven’t known him long but the thought of never seeing him again... I care for him, Mello. I want to be his friend, I want to see him find someone worthy of him! Someone who makes him happy and isn’t as fucked up as I am”

“I already know this, L. I knew it the moment you called out his name when you were dying...”

L and Mello jerked their heads towards the door. Mello's hands flew to his mouth in shock and L just burst into tears, sobbing loudly and for once not giving a single fuck who heard him.

Anton ignored the concerned looks L was attracting and crossed the room. He shocked both Mello and L when he gently gathered L in his arms and just held him.

“I’m so sorry! You mu-must hate me...” L hiccoughed into his shoulder. Anton smiled that sweet, kind smile of his and breathed in the cherry scent of L's hair. He soaked up the feeling of holding him as he gathered the courage to let him go.

“Hush, L, I don’t hate you. I am relieved you told me. Sad, yes, but relieved. You were going to write me a letter?”

L pulled away and swallowed thickly, “I... I don’t know, I was just trying to gather my thoughts...”

Mello carefully placed the paper back on the table and stood up. He squeezed Anton's shoulder and smiled at him sadly. “I’m going to give you some space to talk. Ant, you're one of my best mates and any gay this side of Tokyo would be lucky to have you. I’m sorry things didn’t work out...”

Anton returned his sad smile, “As am I, but all things considered I am glad I know. I want someone who will return my love with all of their heart. And you, L, you’re heart is with this Yagami? I believe you didn’t even know it until you nearly died, hmm?”

L burst into tears again. Anton waved Mello off as he consoled and comforted his... Friend. When L had calmed down again they would talk. And then Anton would begin the search to find someone who would love him, and JUST him, all over again...

L pulled Anton against him tighter, his heart in his throat as he whispered how sorry he was. “I think I love you, but I am not *IN* love with you. Please say you won’t leave me...” Anton felt his heavy heart lift slightly at the words. He was falling for L, but he was not in love with him. Not yet. Perhaps now was simply the time to cut his losses and accept L's heart belonged _elsewhere..._ And maybe one day so would his.

“I will need some space for the next few days, L, to... Wrap my head around this, but I swear to you we will be friends. I like you too much to just say goodbye. Will you give me the time I need?” L nodded his head, a tentative smile on his face.

“Anton...you have no idea how truly remarkable you are. Even if Light never gets his shit together and I remain alone for the rest of my life... Right now I want nothing more than to see you happy. You deserve to be happy”

Anton surprised him by tapping his nose gently “As do you, L. Give Light time. Be patient. There is a seed of love between you now and it will take time to grow”

‘A seed of love...?'

After Anton had left and Matt took up guard duty, L decided to turn in and attempt to sleep. He found he couldn’t settle, Anton's words were repeating over and over in his mind. When had this seed been planted between himself and Light? When they had first met (L had to admit he fancied the pants of Light the second he saw him) or when they first started working together?

He decided it didn’t matter. Even if the seed took years to grow and blossom into a relationship L knew he would wait patiently for their flower...

************

Light was *seething* with rage. He couldn’t scream or shout considering he was five thousand feet above the Pacific ocean, but god damn if he didn’t want to. L had been poisoned! He’d nearly died and where had he been? Thousands of fucking miles away.

Tears escaped his tightly closed eyes as Light thought about L pale and lifeless, fighting for his life...

“I’m coming, L, I’m coming back to you” Light whispered to himself, eyes staring blearily out at the shimmering water far below...


	13. Fierce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light arrives back in Japan and rushes to L's side, but is disappointed, at first, with L’s cautious decisions concerning their future. Sachiko and Naomi stand up for what they believe in and show L and Light how lucky they are to have such fierce women in their lives...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAAAAAASSSS! Show these silly boys how it's done ladies! ❤🔱❤

“A few more days to ensure your heart function remains normal and you will be free to go, Lawliet-San. Of course we would like you to attend weekly check ups and-”

L stared at the Dr as if the man had offered to tell him the meaning of life itself and had then moved on to discuss the weather. 

“A few more days? How many is that? I’ve got to get out of here, Mrs Yamomoto is doing my head in and they play nothing but fucking reality shows on the telly and the hospital food fucking sucks! Also, it's too *hot* in here, the bleeping noises are driving me insane and I just really, really need to get out of here” L sucked in a deep breath before adding “Please”

The Dr blinked, not quite sure what to say to L.  
“I cannot say for certain, but provided you continue as you are I am confident in you being allowed home in two or three days”

L closed his eyes, sending a little prayer up of thanks to whoever the fuck was listening up there. Three days.  
He couldn’t wait to go home, Binge on the boxsets he had been meaning to watch, eat nothing but ice cream and fuck up Yagami Senior's life... 

‘Hmm. Or maybe not... Despite the fact he is an utter bastard he is Light's dad. Maybe I will just work to have him suspended for a few months rather than the three week suspension he's on now...’

L settled back against his pillows as he considered what he would do with Souichiro Yagami. He had the contacts and the funds to engage him in a lengthy legal battle if he so chose to do so. He could bring the old man to his knees... But, nearly dying had withdrawn some of the venom from him, and he found himself feeling far more lenient now. 

It would be enough to make Souichiro Yagami suffer for all that he had done, there really was no need to destroy the man utterly and that was for Light's benefit, mainly. 

L watched the Dr make the rest of his rounds and wondered which one of his friends was on babysitting duty today. 

When a bouquet of roses was brought to him by a nurse L nearly had a panic attack. He cringed as she placed them on his bedside table. 

“They are from a friend, a Mr Light Yagami? He is requesting to visit you. He isn't on your list of designated visitors though...?” the nurse knew about the circumstances resulting in L's stay, and his security was taken very seriously. Only those he explicitly asked for were permitted to visit. Clearly Light had charmed the young nurse into bringing in the roses to ask permission for him. 

“Yes, he is a friend. Please send him in” L muttered, pulse racing at the thought of seeing Light again after all these weeks. The first thing he would do was chew him out for his shitty choice of flowers! 

L knew he probably looked like a sack of shit so didn't bother trying to smarten himself up. He'd lived in loungewear and t-shirts for the last several weeks and he was in dire need of a haircut, but Light would just have to deal with that. 

Immaculate, shinning Light strolled through the swinging doors and L's mouth dropped open. Save for a slightly gaunt look to his face, Light looked exactly the same as he always did. L felt foolish for expecting him to appear any different physically when it was on the inside Light had changed. 

“L!”

L gave a watery smile as Light dashed across the room and grabbed him. He laid his head against Light's shoulder and just breathed him in as Light gave himself over to sobbing. 

“You nearly died! I nearly *lost* you” Light shuddered. L gently patted his back to soothe him, quite unprepared for this violent outpouring of emotion. 

“Hush, Light, It's okay...”

Light pulled away, anguish burning in his eyes, “It is *not* okay, L! Nothing about this is okay!”

“Please, Light” L murmured, embarrassed at the attention they were drawing “Sit beside me and we can talk”

Light sniffed and shuffled into the chair next to L. He reached out for L's hand, hope simmering in his eyes as he watched L stare down at their joined hands.  
L curled his fingers around Light's wrist, a mere ghost of a touch. 

“Could have chosen other flowers, Light” L attempted a smile, “Roses? Dick move”

Light's eyes widened in horror, a litany of ‘ohfuckohfuckohfuck' running through his mind. L had said they were his favourite flower so he had just automatically chosen them. He hadn’t even THOUGHT about Beyond fucking Birthday and his own deadly gift of a rose... 

“I am *SO* sorry, L-”

L silenced him with a small shake of his head and a squeeze to his wrist. 

“It’s okay, I was teasing and I suppose you had a lot on your mind. Anyway, these roses are beautiful... Since they are from a friend”

Light flushed, eyes dropping back to their entwined fingers. 

“Is...is that what we are?”

“Yes. For now...” L bit his lip, fuck was he tempted to just say fuck you all to everyone and kiss the living daylights out of this earnest young man gazing so sweetly at him. 

“For now?”

L let out a soft sigh and regretfully pulled his hand from Light's. 

“You have so much to work through now, Light. You've accepted who you are and I am *SO* proud of you for that... But now you must learn to overcome all the toxic shit forced down your throat for half your life and then...”

Light leaned forward, boldly snatching L's hand back and holding it again. 

“And then?” he murmured, hope making his heart smash against his rib cage. 

“And then I hope we will be much more than friends” L mumbled, a pink tinge to his cheeks at the feel of Light's thumb tracing the back of his hand. It was only a little touch but it sent sparks shooting up his spine.  
When Light moved into kiss him L turned his head. Ignoring the hurt expression on Light’s face (even though it pained him to be the cause of it) L stood firm.  
“You have a lifetime of suppression and internalized homophobia to work through and it will take *time* Light. This... This won't solve it. I need you to be patient and trust me on this. Get yourself therapy and work through your issues. I will be waiting for you”

Light gulped, part of him knowing L was right and part of him wishing L could be his usual brash and reckless self... 

‘But he wont. Not in this. Not with his heart. He says he will wait for me... But for how long and what about...’

“Anton?” Light asked, unable to stop the bitter flare of jealousy that flared through him at the mention of the Russian's name. 

“We ended things a few days ago. It took nearly dying to make me realise I have fallen in love with you, Light. I am serious about this. I am far more patient than you are and I will wait for as long as it takes. Forever, if needs be... ” L stressed, eyes pleading with Light to understand. 

It seemed to finally sink in and Light retreated a respectable distance back into his chair.  
“I will do what you ask” Light nodded his head, determination lighting up his eyes, “I... Have something for you”

Carefully, Light pulled out his journal and laid it on the table. 

“Please read it later... I... I'm embarrassed by it, but what I wrote. It was all for you. You’ve gotten me through these last few weeks and you didn’t even know it. You were fighting for your life. L, I don't care what it takes, I will find Beyond Birthday and make him pay for what he's done to you”

L smiled at this display of protectiveness. “Best get in line then, Massacre, Mello and Matt are all vying for that privilege too”

“*I* will be the one to find him and lock him up. He wont get away with hurting you, L. He won't get away with hurting my... friend”

They stared at each other, both eager for the day they could place boy in front of that word... 

 

**************

 

Naomi, meanwhile, was absolutely fucking *livid*  
Since she currently didn’t have a partner the Egyptian killer case (she rolled her eyes internally at the genius who thought up that name) had been transferred to Mogi and Aizawa and she had been delegated to babysitting Matsuda. 

Fucking wet behind the ears, dumb as a box of rocks, Touta Matsuda. 

She stormed through the office like a hurricane and people dived to get out of her path. No one had the balls to mess with Massacre when she was on one, not even hardened cops 30 years her senior. 

She didn't bother knocking on Kitamura's door. She barged straight in and her jaw dropped. Nothing in the world could have prepared her for the sight in front of her:

Kitamura was sat at his desk, head tipped back while Misa Amane sucked his cock under the table, her blonde pigtails bouncing as she bobbed her head. 

After the shock wore off Naomi's eyes gleamed with triumph. Kitamura was ‘happily' married. He would sooner *die* than have this dirty little secret exposed... And that gave her the opportunity to blackmail the fuck out of him and right the wrongs done to herself and her partner. 

“Well, Well, Well, Aren't you just the very epitomy of the dumb blonde receptionist. Sucking cock for a promotion is it, Sweetie?”

Misa squealed and jerked away from Kitamura's tragic looking dick (Naomi's initial reaction to seeing it was to compare it to a limp, malformed slug) and ended up banging her head on the desk. Kitamura flushed a violent purple colour as he gaped at Naomi Misora, utterly speechless. 

“Get out, Slut” Naomi sniffed, staring down her nose at the whimpering girl. Misa scrambled to her feet and fled the office. 

“It's not what it looks like!”

Naomi snorted. 

“I'm sorry, how else is a blowjob supposed to look like? That shrivelled looking worm of yours was in her mouth. Pretty certain it is *exactly* what it looks like, so do me a favour and tuck that sorry looking thing away”

Wordlessly, Kitamura did as she asked. 

“Good” Naomi pulled up a seat and smiled evilly at the lecherous old fool “Now, let's discuss how you are going to return our case to L and I. Oh, and while we are at it, I think we both deserve a pay rise!”

Kitamura gulped. He'd been in this job long enough to know blackmail when he saw it. 

Naomi plopped her booted feet on his antique, hardwood desk and glared at him challengingly. “L is my partner. Palm off some other poor fucker with Matsuda, I refuse to work with anyone but L”

“But-”

Naomi's eyes flashed dangerously and Kitamura gulped once again. 

“I will tell your wife. I will go out onto the office floor and MAKE that dumb slut admit what she was just doing. If you don’t give me what I want and do right by L and I...I will destroy you, Kitamura”

“How much would you like to be paid?” Kitamura asked in a broken whisper. 

Naomi smirked. Checkmate. 

**************

 

Once Light had left and Mello had resumed guard duty L went for a quick shower and settled down in bed to read Light's journal. Mello looked up in alarm when L burst into tears and mumbled ‘You brilliant fucking idiot' as he read Light's words. 

“What is that?” Mello had to ask when L went from tears to huffs of laughter and then tears again. 

“This is Light's journal he was told to keep when he was in Spain. He wrote it to me... For me, really”  
Mello’s eyes brightened and he reached for it but L pulled it away sternly. 

“No. If he wanted you to see this he would have said so. Sorry, Mello, but you are just going to have to sit and wonder”

Mello pouted. L could be such a dick at times! Still, whatever was going on between he and Yagami was technically their business... He would just have to be sneaky and wait for the right moment to read the journal.

“Have you heard from Ant?” L asked suddenly, breaking Mello's train of thought. 

“Yeah, he's doing fine. Actually, he's already been asked out on a date...” 

Mello mumbled the last bit, eyes flicking to L's to gauge his reaction. L simply offered a small smile and nod. Of course Anton had, he was too much of a prize to be left on the shelf for long. 

L traced the words ‘I love you' with his finger tip over and over again eyes focussed on nothing as he dared to dream of a future with Light Yagami. 

The doors banged open and in strode Naomi Misora with her usual shy and retiring grace. She attracted more than a few stares from patients and visitors as she headed over to L's cubicle. 

She flung a thick wad of paper in front of him triumphantly. 

“You are not going to believe the day I’ve had! Mello, be a dear and grab some coffees will you? We’ve got so much to discuss!”

Spurred on by the prospect of drama, Mello nodded his head and rushed off to grab the cans of cold coffee they were all fast becoming addicted to. In record time Mello was back and eagerly anticipating the news.  
He knew it was going to be *juicy* by L's stunned expression as he flipped through the document Naomi had handed him. 

When L had finisjed he put the papers down and just stared at Naomi, utterly sppechless. 

Kitamura had given them their case back. He'd given them each a 20% pay rise *and* he assured their future as partners by stating neither would be asked to work with someone else in future. 

L knew Naomi must have gotten dirt on the old man. There was simply no way he would have offered a pay rise and these assurances in their contracts otherwise.

“And now for the best bit!” Naomi grinned, “Picture the scene, boys: I get the news Matsuda is delegated to me as a partner till handsome here comes back to work. I flip my shit”

“Understandable” L nodded. 

“So Storm Naomi kicks off and I barge my way into Kitamura's office without knocking. At first I thought he was having a stroke or something cos his head was thrown back and his face was all twisted up...”

Mello leaned forward excitedly. L resisted the urge to sigh. He knew exactly where this sordid little tale was likely to end up. 

“Misa Amane was on her knees sucking him off! Bobbing her head like a fucking Champion she was!”  
A few disgruntled mutters at Naomi's loudness. L grinned. 

“NO WAY?! OMG he was getting a knobslob from that slutty receptionist?!”

L and Naomi burst into laughter at the term ‘Knobslob’ and laughed so hard several people made complaints about them. They didn't care as tears of laughter streamed from their eyes as Naomi described (in vivid detail) the sorry state of the aforementioned cock. 

As he wheezed and clutched his stomach L felt so fucking grateful for having these incredible people in his life. Even when they kicked out for causing too much noise he could do nothing but cry silent tears of laughter, his heart lighter than it had been in weeks. 

“Love you, Lawli! We will be back, you haven’t seen the last of meeeee!” Mello called over a buff security guard's shoulder. L waved them off with a huge grin on his face, uncaring about the dirty looks being sent his way. 

Fuck the lot of them. He wouldn’t be here for very much longer. 

“Knobslob” L muttered to himself and erupted into a fit of giggles once again. 

 

**************

 

Light, however, was far from amused as he sat opposite his stony faced parents and recounted the last few weeks to them. 

“So yeah, guess you wont be grandparents” Light summarized, forcing a smirk on his face, “Dodged a bullet there, didn’t I?”

Sachiko shook her head, face crumpling with sorrow. 

“And you've already seen *him*?" his father butted in. 

Light smiled grimly, “If by ‘him’ you are refering to L, yes I have. He's spent the last month in hospital fighting for his life, Father. He was the first person I went to see”

Sachiko nibbled her lip. She was softer than her husband, and her main concern was her son's happiness not his sexuality. Her heart went out to L, the poor boy had been poisoned by Arsenic. How he was even still alive absolutely baffled her. Light had told her L had suffered three bouts of cardiac arrest... 

“And is he okay now?”

Souichiro shot his wife a furious look but she ignored her, her soft gaze fixed on her son. 

“Yes, he is doing much better, thank you for asking, mum”

“That’s good to hear... But it is troubling you are thinking of becoming involved with someone who has such a vicious ex after them”

Light did his best not to snap at his mother. Unlike his father she at least was TRYING to understand him and be supportive. 

“Yes, he is a threat and it is dangerous, but L is worth it. He's told me to seek out therapy to help undo the damage my upbringing and the conversion therapy has done. He's made it clear he will not become romantically involved with me until he deems I am ready for it. Mum, how many people are willing to put their own happiness on hold for the sake of someone else? Just forget about his gender a moment and look at him as a *person* he is brilliant, intelligent, kind and humble. Yes, he can be moody and sarcastic but he cares so deeply for others... He is the perfect partner for me, and I came so close to loosing him! Whether you accept it or not, I will get the help I need and I *will* date L Lawliet”

Souochiro glowered at his son, knowing by the fire in his eyes there was nothing he could do to change his mind. Kiyomi and that baby had been their last shot at fixing Light. 

“If you do this, Light, you will not be welcome in this house again” Souichiro growled, shooting his wife a furious look

She ducked her head, heart aching at the thought of her son's exile from the family. Sachiko had never gone against her husband before. As a traditional Japanese housewife she had accepted his place as head of the family willingly. 

But could she accept his decision to abandon her son? 

No she could not. 

Finding an inner strength she did not know she possessed, she went to him and pulled him into her arms. 

“I cannot stop your father from excluding you from this house, and that pains me my son... But I CAN meet you outside of this house and I will! I am so sorry for all the hurt that has been done to you. I feel responsible for it too, I should have stood up for myself and for you sooner”

Light grinned and kissed his mother's cheek, warmth spreading through him. 

“Sachiko!”

“No! He is my boy! You will not stop me from seeing my child. For gods sake, Souichiro. He's gay. So what?! Would you have rather seen him tied up to that lying hussy and seen him raise a child that wasn't his?! Oh my god...”

Sachiko's eyes narrowed and she knew from the guilty look that flashed across her husband's eyes that, yes, that was what he would prefer and it was something he had *known* about. 

“You knew! You knew Kiyomi's child wasn't his!”  
Gone was the meek and obedient wife. Light was amazed to see his mother pull herself as tall as her diminutive height could make her and glare fiercely at her husband. Sachiko Yagami had transformed into a lioness. Her husband's callousness had finally opened her eyes to how blind she had been all these years. She had allowed her husband to attempt to bury who Light was alive. Under the veil of wifely duty she had stood back and watched her son shatter before her. 

And now he was trying to repair the damage and glue himself back together and she would be damned if she stood aside once more. 

“Get *out* of my house!” Sachiko screamed, pointing a trembling finger at her husband “The only one exiled from this house is you! If you do not leave this instant I will call the police! Perhaps even your own department!”

Souichiro's face twisted in fury and he stepped towards his wife. Light immediately placed himself between his father and mother. 

“You heard her. Get out” Light bit out, “You're already suspended, do you really want to have the guys at the office know you've been kicked out here too? Go and stay with Granny in Osaka until things have calmed down here”

“I am your *father* you do not tell me what to do” Souichiro hissed, but his voice was shaking. He knew his wife and son had united against him. With no job, and now no wife or home the only thing he *could* do was return home to Osaka and seek refuge with his elderly mother. 

What a sorry state to be in! 

“If you change and accept Light for who he is, you will be welcome back here, but not a moment before!” Sachiko marched to the front door and held it open. 

Souichiro had no chpice but to walk through it. 

As soon as she had closed the door Sachiko turned to her son, her face set in grim determination. 

“Let’s find you the best Therapist money can buy”

Light frowned, with his father gone and his reduced wages whilst he was suspended he knew his mother didnt have money to throw about. He would scrape buy and find a therapist within his means... Or... 

Light grinned at his mother as she twirled Souochiro's credit card between her fingers. 

“He was the main cause of your problems, Light, so he can be the solution too. Go and make some tea and set up the laptop. I want you booked in for an initial assessment this afternoon”

Light did as his mother said, grateful beyond measure for having such a quietly formidable mother. Sachiko Yagami had finally shown her true colours and defended her son. 

Light smiled to himself as he fixed up a pot of tea. He would get his shit together and he would lead a life true to himself with both L and his mother standing beside him...


	14. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is finally discharged from hospital and Light attends his first therapy session. What begins as a happy reunion with his friends and a long anticipated homecoming quickly sours when L realizes Beyond Birthday has left him a deadly message...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Protective Light is protective.  
> Sassy Naomi is Sassy.  
> Creeper Beyond is Creepy.  
> Drunk L is Drunk. 
> 
> Yup. Sums up this chapter 💁😂

Friday the 13th of June started as a *very* auspicious day for L Lawliet.

He was free. Finally free from the bleeps and the moans and the humid air and terrible food.

L stuck his head out of Naomi's passenger side window and inhaled the freedom directly into his lungs.

“You’re not a dog, L” Naomi smiled, fully aware of how good L must be feeling after being cooped up for so long. The fresh air and sunshine probably felt like crack or something.<

“I think being a dog would be pretty awesome, Nomie. I’d be a German Shepard or a husky... Maybe a Staffie? ”

Naomi snorted, “Pretty sure you would be one of those black haired prissy poodles, Babe”

L pouted. She just had to piss on his chips, didn't she?

“I've still got a month off work. I fully intend to work from home on the stupidly named case though. Not like Kitamura can say no, is it?”

Naomi grinned and tipped her new designer sunglasses down. They were curtsey of Kitamura's generous pay rise.

“Well, I think I will join you working from home. Working in pyjamas, hell yes!”  
L smirked at his friend. There would be nothing Kitamura could do about *that* either. Sometimes blackmail was such a beautiful thing!

L smiled as Light’s ringtone sounded (Yes, he had assigned Light his own guitar riff ringtone and no, he was not embarrassed about it...)

“Oooh, it's Lighty” Naomi sang “Mr loverboy!”

“Shut it, Harpy” L giggled and answered he phone. “Hi, Light, you okay?... Oh, that's brilliant news! Yes, I am on my way home. The harpy is taking me home... Well, I know that isn’t a nice thing to call her but it is true. Plus, she said if I was a dog I would be a poodle. I would totally be an Alsatian, wouldn’t I, Light?”

Naomi burst into laughter as she heard Light's awkward assurances that of *course* L would be a badass dog! .

‘Overkill, Yagami' Naomi thought with a small smile on her face. Now that Light was finally starting to sort his shit out he wasn’t too bad. Sure, he was a bit up himself and moody but then so was she. And L, now that she thought about it. Maybe they would become friends or something like that. They'd probably be assholes to each other like she and L were.

“Your *mother* wants to meet me? Um. Um. When? Why?”

Naomi rolled her eyes as L had a mini meltdown. Naturally with what Sachiko had sacrificed she would want to meet the man her son was batshit crazy about.

“Fine, but not tonight. I need to sort myself out. Yes, you can come around later, if you want to”

“No sex!” Naomi yelled, startling pedestrians as she roared past them “Not until you have sorted your shit out, Light”

L huffed in annoyance and held his phone closer to his ear. As if he would sleep with Light at this early stage. Bitch.

“Okay, takeout sounds good. You will probably have to endure Massacre as a chaperone though”

“I want Chinese!” Naomi confirmed. Hell yes she would be keeping an eye on things! 

L said his goodbyes and ended the call. His best friend looked jubilant, the same way she did each time she managed to embarrass him or thoroughly take the piss out of him.

He just smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

Damn he loved his Harpy.

************

Light Yagami hovered in the doorway of the Therapists office. His heart was hammering inside his chest like a war drum. He had spent the better half of the last decade going to one therapist or another, but that had been to *repress* who he was and how he felt.

Learning to accept who he was was an entirely different matter. L had sounded so *proud* of him when he told him he had his first real appointment today. He would not chicken out. He would put one foot in front of the other and walk into the office.

Any minute now...<

“Mr Yagami, it is quite alright, I don't bite”

Light smiled nervously and forced shaky legs to move forward. He took a good look at the woman he would be spilling his heart out to. The door closed behind him with a soft snick and he gulped, pulse skittering with anxiety.

She was in her fifties, with a short grey bob and keen, intelligent dark eyes. Her face seemed rather round but regal at the same time, and she exuded an air of calm whenever she smiled, her thin lips tilting in a gentle smile.<

“I’m Light Yagami” Light introduced, before he realised that obviously this woman knew exactly who he was. He had been assigned to her after his initial assessment after all.

“Maiko Tsuniko. It's a pleasure to meet you, Light. Please, come and take a seat”

Light trudged over to her and perched on the edge of the chair facing hers. Why was he so nervous about this? Was it because he was facing an unknown? Or was it because he knew his future hinged on it.  
His future with L depended on how well he coped with these sessions and that was a terrifying concept. What if he could never fully accept himself and reverse the damage that had been done? L had said he would wait for ever...

Light blinked at the pad of paper and pen Maiko-Sensai had pushed towards him.

“You are frowning so hard I fear for your poor brain. Write down what is concerning you, Light. In time you will feel more comfortable with me to say what is on your mind but for now I would Like you to sit quietly and write whatever comes to your mind”

Light scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed but thankful for the Dr's cautious and considerate approach.

“I am in love with a man” Light blurted out before he could stop himself, “It’s taken me months to realize it but he nearly died recently and I *have* to... I have to do this. He said he wouldn’t have a relationship with me until I underwent therapy and was ready...”

Impressed at how Light had opened up without even realizing it, Maiko jotted down a few notes on her laptop and pointed to the pad of paper.

“This man seems to care very deeply for you. He is conscious of your own need for self reflection and adjustment after so many years of conversion therapy. You should count yourself most lucky you have someone so understanding”

Light flushed and began to write. He *was* lucky, and he needed to write his shit down. For L and for himself.

“Good” Maiko praised as the words flowed out of Light's hand, to his pen and then finally the paper.

It had only been ten minutes and she already knew there was hope for Light Yagami. She waited patiently until Light had finished furiously writing down two pages of text.

“May I read this?”

Light slowly nodded his head. It had felt *good* to write down his feelings. Maybe he should take keeping a recovery journal more seriously?

_When I was 13 I kissed my friend. Dad walked in on us and stopped me from seeing Yamomoto. I felt so stupid for ruining our friendship with that kiss and when I kissed L I felt like my past mistakes were coming back to haunt me._

  
_Dad has insisted I have twice weekly ‘repression’ therapy for the last ten years. I tried to have a relationship with a woman, and thankfully that didn't work because she is a SNAKE!_

  
_Since I met L he is the only person I think about. He once told me I am the worst kind of liar because I lie to myself. I don’t want to be someone who lies to themselves._

  
_I want to kiss L all the time but the thought of doing sexual things with him *terrifies* me. I want to, but I keep thinking how disgusting and wrong it is to want to sleep with another man._

  
_I think L can tell how mixed up I am, and I really want to get better so we can have a full relationship. I love him and he loves me. I really need help to stop feeling like a disgusting little faggot._

  
Maiko checked at that last line and glanced up at Light in question. “It’s what my father calls me” Light admitted with a grimace.

“I want you to have *no* contact with your father for the foreseeable future, Light. It will only serve as a negative reinforcement of his utterly *wrong* view of you. We are going to work together to help you realize there is nothing wrong with either you or your desires, okay?”

“My mother kicked him out of the house” Light admitted with a small smile.

The Dr’s eyes twinkled, “Sounds like an intelligent thing to do. Now. Go lie down on the couch and let's begin your journey to recover" 

Smiling and more at ease than he had been twenty minutes ago, Light went to lay down on the couch and prepared himself to speak nothing but the truth...

*************

L was touched at the scene that awaited him when he arrived back home. Balloons, cards, sweet hampers, cake and a bottle of vodka from Mello were waiting for him, alongside his friends who yelled ‘Welcome home! We're glad you're not dead!’ as a greeting.

L teared up a little and gave them a watery smile. He was glad he wasn’t dead too, he loved this crazy bunch of fuckers.

Even Anton was there, a big smile on his face as he rushed to give L a hug.

“Anton! Fuck, it's so good to see you” L mumbled into his shoulder. He had been worried he wouldn’t want to stay friends with him...

“You too, L. You are looking much better” Anton patted L's back and stepped away from him, respectful of the new boundaries between friends. He could not hold L like he was his lover anymore.  
L sensed Anton's unease and quickly stepped back too.

‘Fuck, this man has had his tongue in my ass. How awkward is it trying to be friends with him now?’ L ran a hand through his hair, praying that with time it would get easier. Other people had had relationships and managed to stay friends with their ex partners, so he was sure he could to.

“Vodka!” Mello squealed, already pouring L a shot.

L smiled and accepted, but knew there was no way he was getting drunk. He still had medication to take and weekly check-ups to think of.

But... Maybe a couple of vodkas were in order. He was finally home and with his friends and that was something worth celebrating. He hoped Light was doing well in his therapy session and smiled to himself. That was another thing worth celebrating.

“Oh, Neat, when did you get this, L? I mean, it’s not really your style and all but it’s kinda cool-”

L turned to Mello with a smile and noted he was admiring a small statue of the Egyptian god Anubis. All the colour drained from him face and his smile faltered.  
He did not own such a statue. It had been *placed* there, and while his Egyptology was a little rusty he was certain Anubis was the god of *death* Beyond Birthday had left him a warning: he would try to kill him again.

“Oh my god” L whimpered.

Naomi marched over to the statue on the coffee table and immediately bagged it up.  
“He was here! The fucker got in! Matt, Review all the surveillance footage, Mello, you decorated the place so go and see if anything looks out of place. L, sit down before you faint!”

L sank down onto the sofa, shock settling over him. Naomi rushed off to check for any bugs while Anton poured L another shot of vodka.

L ignored it in favour of the bottle.

“I need Light. I need Light here now” L mumbled, eyes wide and terrified as he stared at the empty spot where the statue had been.

“I will call him, don’t panic, it will be okay. We are here” Anton soothed.

L ignored him in favour of swiging vodka and panicking.

 _‘How the hell did I think I was going to have a normal life with him lurking in the shadows? If he can’t be with me he is going to kill me...'_  
**************

  
Light was just finishing off a cup of tea and recapping his session with his mother when his phone flashed. He didn’t recognize the number but answered anyway out of habit.

“Light? Is that you?”

Light felt a spike of irritation at hearing the Russian's stupid, growly voice.

“Yes.” He answered shortly. His mother hid a giggle at Light's badly concealed distaste for whoever had rang him.

“You need to come to L's apartment right now, he is in a state and won’t calm down until he says you”

Light's stomach churned, “What’s happened? Fuck, I’m on my way I’m leaving now” having no time to explain he grabbed his car keys and wallet and pressed a swift kiss to his mother’s cheek before dashing from the house.

“Beyond has somehow gained access to his apartment. Left him some death statue or something... L! Stop drinking vodka it isn’t going to help!”

Light groaned as he heard L snap at Anton to fuck off.

“Get that vodka away from him, he's on medication he *can’t* drink too much alcohol with. I will be there as soon as I can!”

“Hear that? Light said to stop drinking”

Light smiled in relief as a clearly intoxicated L mumbled ‘Fine' and the sound of a bottle being passed over.

“L! I’m on my way, Baby, okay?”

“He’s passed out” Anton answered with a disgruntled tone in his voice.

Light rolled his eyes and disconnected the call. It was a bit spiteful, but looking after L was *his* responsibility now and if he was being completely honest he just didn’t like Anton.

_‘That's not true. He’s a decent enough guy. I just don’t like the fact he is L's ex'_

Light jumped into his car and for once in his life ignored every speed limit possible. He drove like a manic and was fortunate enough not to be pulled over, even if he was more than likely to have a speeding fine in the post in the next few days.

Right now none of that shit mattered.

He parked terribly and ran out of the car and into the building. He was so panicked he completely missed the figure watching him intently from the other end of the carpark.

_‘This is your latest toy, is it, L? Suppose the Russian can live if he is no longer with you... But this one... This one is going to have to die. I’ve heard all about your doped up mumblings for ‘Light’ from the nurses...’_

  
Beyond Birthday giggled at the thought of killing L's little auburn-haired sweetheart. He was running rings around the lot of them. He'd killed 4 people now, and he had planned on Anton Volkov being his fifth. In some ways he was glad L had survived his little brush with death, it meant the game between them could last much longer. He would destroy anyone who dared to touch *his* L.

He knew it was dangerous to linger outside L's apartment for too long. It seemed L had aquired a little team of friends around him to watch his back.  
Not that that fucking mattered in the slightest.

Beyond slipped back into his recently liberated ‘Tokyo Decorators' Van and giggled again as fresh ideas to tease and torment his lovely Lawli took shape in his mind.

Light, meanwhile, had hauled L off to bed and was now staring down at him as he drooled all over his pillow.

“What are we going to do? He can’t stay here alone” Anton mumbled, “I’d stay with him but-”

“I’m staying with him. I will sleep on the floor I don’t care” Light butted in, already reaching for his phone to call his mum. She answered almost instantly, concern in her voice as she asked Light what had happened.

“Mum, I don’t have the time to explain right now, but L's ex has broken into his apartment. We are revamping the security now but I need you to pack me a few changes of clothes, I’m staying with him until was have figured out what to do. Thanks, mum. Love you” Light rattled out the words and brusquely disconnected the call.

“Security footage has been wiped” Matt called from the lounge, “Installing new software now to monitor the apartment”

“Oh fuck, this is like a movie” Mello shuddered, “A really bad, creepy psychological thriller”

L, who had woken up to Matt's yell, offered Mello a bleary smile.

“Welcome to my life, Mels!”

L groaned as his head throbbed and pulled the duvet over him. He curled himself into a ball of utter misery.

“You should all just leave me. By even associating with me you are putting yourself at great risk” his muffled voice drifted out from under the duvet.

“Oh, wrap up you Bellend!” Naomi snorted as she continued dusting for prints “Light, why don’t you try comforting your boyfriend-to-be instead of standing there like a fucking lemon. Maybe you can get it through his thick head that we love him and none of us are afraid of Beyond bloody Birthday. I’m sorting out arms and we will be setting up a round the clock guard!” Naomi zipped out the room before L could protest. She didn’t have the time to listen to her stubborn friend's bullshit.

Light unfroze and instantly dropped down next to L on the bed. The others left to give them space as Light quickly shucked off his shoes and curled himself around the small ball hidden in the duvet.

“L...”

L sniffed and Light's heart broke. L didn’t deserve this shit!

“Light, what if he tries to attack you...?”

Light wrapped his arms around L and flipped over, a few tufts of black hair sticking out of the white duvet as he nuzzled into Light's embrace.

“If he tries to attack me I will kill him” Light answered simply, “He terrifies you because of the past abuse and fears he has installed in you. He does not frighten *me* and I don’t care what I have to do to protect you, L, I will do it. Now get some rest, I’m here and your home now... Everything will be alright”

L somehow managed to wriggle even closer. Light tried to ignore the acrid scent of vodka on L's breath.

“You’re ... Staying here?”

Light sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to L's hair.

“Yes. I’m staying with you. Now go to sleep”

When L did finally drift off to sleep Light gently tucked him in and went back into the lounge. Matt, Mello, Anton, Ray (when had he arrived?) were sat around the coffee table which had several empty shot glasses adorning it. It seemed they had decided to finish off the rest of L's vodka, which was probably for the best all things considered...

“Light, we are brining you on the Egyptian Killer case” Ray stated, “You, Me, Naomi and L will work together to bring down Birthday and we will work from this apartment. I’ve already spoken to Kitamura and he has already given the green light”

“Course he has, the little bitch” Naomi snickered before turning sober once again, “L was right, you know. We *are* all putting ourselves at risk by associating with him. If anyone wants to leave then now is the time. Because once we do this... There's no turning back”

Everyone remained silent, grim determination in their eyes.

“Do what now?” Mello finally asked, having become distracted by sipping the remainder of the vodka.

“Figure out a plan to lure Beyond Birthday out of his hole and fill the cunt with bullets” Naomi answered in a flat, nonsecence tone of voice.

‘Well... Fuck' was all Light could think of in reaction to that.

 


	15. Offical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light find themselves slotting into a domestic routine as circumstances force Light to live with L. L receives some good news after his first check-up and Light feels his therapy is moving in the right direction. Naomi makes a breakthrough in her hunt for Beyond Birthday and L and Light finally become official boyfriends ❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super fluffy, L and Light are official Boyfriends now! Also, I am a sucker for JealousLight! ❤

It had been three days since Light had moved in with L, and he was startled at how *normal* it felt to go to bed with L and wake up holding him.  
They had kissed once, and then L had been the one to apologize and turn away. Light had been half asleep and it had felt so nice. He wished L could have just kissed him again so leaned in for another sleepy kiss. 

As it was, L had jumped out of bed and dashed to the toilet and promptly vomited, and so the mood had been broken.

The charcoal treatment he had been under for weeks had taken their toll on him, and Light was determined to try and get his boyfriend-to-be to eat better and start taking care of himself more. The physical side effects of his poisoning and treatment were glaringly obvious that morning. L had lost pounds he could ill afford to loose, and he looked pale and drawn. 

Light stopped reflecting on the last few days and checked his watch. What was happening this morning? 

L's outpatient check-up was scheduled for just an hours time. That met he had to get the ball curled up next to him to get up and have a shower. 

“Oh, fuck” Light sighed. He had meant to set his alarm a bit earlier and have the time to make L pancakes to bribe him out of bed.

“L, Baby, time to get up” Light said sweetly, shaking L's shoulder. 

“.... Fuck off...” was the muffled response from somewhere under the duvet. 

Right. So waking L up in the morning wasn’t going to be as easy as he had thought. He tried again and earned a disgruntled growl for his efforts. 

“You have to get up!” Light huffed and, giving into a fit of pique, yanked the duvet down. 

L made a strangled noise like he'd been mortally wounded and curled up into a tighter ball, eyes screwed shut against the sunlight streaming in through the windows. 

“Why?” L moaned pitifully. He loved Light dearly, but at this moment in time he had to seriously consider if having a relationship with someone who could pull his duvet off him was something he could handle. 

“Hospital. 50 minutes. ECG Test results” Light broke it down into simple sentences. “I will make you coffee and pancakes if you get up for a shower” he added temptingly. 

L let out a small grumble but did begin to uncurl himself from his ball. With his spikey hair and curled up sleeping position (not to mention his prickly character) he reminded Light of a hedgehog. Light bit his lip to stifle a giggle as the hedgehog slowly sat up and glared at him. 

“It's 8 am. Why are you smiling? Why are you happy?”

“You know, you remind me of a grumpy hedgehog in the mornings” Light pressed a soft kiss to L's cheek, “And that makes me happy”

L's cheeks flushed and he ducked his head. With each passing day it was getting increasingly difficult to just stop himself from jumping the sweet idiot. But then, neither L nor Light had expected to be living together at this stage either. 

“I'm glad I amuse you” L finally recovered, sounding a bit grumpy even though it was obvious to Light he wasn't. 

Light chanced a quick kiss and L brushed his lips against his in return.  
“You *enthral* me”

L jerked back, eyes wide and heart pounding. Anton had said the exact same thing to him! And there was no way Light could have known that. Light barely spoke to him other than when he had to... 

At least it startled him into full awareness. 

“I'll... Go shower” L mumbled. He darted from the bed and into the en-suite. 

Light frowned at L's odd reaction to his words but decided to let it go. He had a feeling L Lawliet was not someone who could be easily understood. 

He went to make breakfast, pondering if he would ever solve the puzzle that was L Lawliet... 

**************

Both arrived at the hospital feeling anxious, not just because L's results were back. No, they had each *sensed* they were being watched as they sat close together in the waiting room. L looked around that much Light risked leaving him for a second (after asking a nurse to stay with him) to get him a cup of tea and some cake to distract him. It worked for a little while, until L once again scanned the room, twitchy and nervous. 

Light tried to flick through a magazine but found himself going back to the research he'd downloaded on his phone. 

The long term consequences of Arsenic poisoning. What if L's heart was so damaged he required a heart transplant? He had had three heart attacks... The scarring alone... 

L gently took the phone away from him and shook his head. 

“It is what it is, Light. Please don’t go upsetting yourself about it. Let's just see what the damage is first, okay?”

Light bit his lip at L's sheer bravery and very much just wanted to kiss him. Considering they were in a packed waiting room he opted for taking his hand in his and squeezing it instead. 

“My little brave heart”

L’s eyes widened at the sweet endearment and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against Light's. Fuck the others they would just have to deal. No one seemed particularly bothered anyway, and L kept the kiss chaste. It was more of a thank you and a consequence of needing to feel close to Light than an act of passion. 

“I love that we can kiss now” Light admitted, stroking his thumb over the smooth skin of L's hand. “I could spend all day kissing you”

L giggled at that and squeezed Light's hand, “That would get rather monotonous, but I am more than happy to kiss you whenever you like. You are doing so well in therapy, Light. I am very proud of you”

“Mr Lawliet-San?”

Light sighed as their moment was interrupted by the Dr and pulled L up with him. 

“Do you want me with you?”

“Yes” L mumbled, a little embarrassed.

Light seemed thrilled and held his hand tightly as he walked into the consulting room with L. He couldn’t stop himself from scanning the room for any signs of judgment or dirty looks and felt elated when he realised there were none. 

Not everyone was as bigoted or full of hatred towards homosexuality as his father was then. Light shook his head in amazement as a small, frail old lady actually *smiled* at him as he passed. 

It was such a breath of fresh air for one heady moment he forgot where he was and just basked in being able to hold his boyfriend-to-be's hand in public. 

Light closed the door behind them and sat next to L as the Dr made polite small talk. L answered in disinterested monosyllables and Light bit back a smile. L had never been good at making small talk unless he was undercover, then he somehow transformed into an entirely different person. It was just one of the many things he admired about him. 

“So, Your results come back and I must say they are very heartening indeed. Goodness! I’m sorry, the pun was quite unintentional...”

L grinned at the Dr, warming to him a little. He did enjoy a good pun. 

The Dr relaxed a little as he realised Lawliet was more amused than annoyed at his slip and uttered a little laugh as he pulled L's results up on the computer. “As you know we were concerned about the amount of scaring repeated cardiac arrest may have caused, and I have to tell you, Lawliet-San, you are an *extremely* fortunate young man. You have very minimal scaring, to the point that with ongoing treatment and proper care you will certainly not require surgery or a transplant”

L blinked. So his heart was good? He certainly hadn’t been expecting to hear *that*

“Babe! That's incredible!” Light was nearly bouncing up and down in his seat at the news. 

“So... Is there any lasting damage?” L asked, feeling a little bit stunned as the Dr's face split into a genuine smile. 

“None! You are something of an enigma, Lawliet-San!”

“That he is” Light wiped at his eyes, tears of pure happiness trickling down his face, “We were both expecting some bad news today” he admitted as L scanned his results. 

“Well, that would only be logical considering the dose of poison and the extent of trauma Lawliet-San endured but...I admit I am quite at a loss to explain it! The only thing I could attribute your remarkable healing to is your age and physical fitness. Perhaps even your own determination and mind-set played a part?”

L smiled and nodded his head. What they didn’t know, and what he would probably keep to himself, was that he had been awake during his second heart attack and had *willed* himself to keep fighting. 

He hadn’t wanted to leave Light... 

“Are you still vomiting in the mornings?”

L nodded his head, a small scowl on his face. Fucking Charcoal treatment had really done a number on him. 

“That should soon pass, I am happy with how well your recovery is going, and would like to amend your check-ups from weekly to monthly”  
“Brilliant!” L beamed. The less hospital the better as far as he was concerned! 

“And that will be okay? What if he relapses or something goes wrong or-”

L smiled at Light's concern. It was touching to see Light so involved in his care, and he relished it. Light was acting like a proper boyfriend already, despite his own issues. 

“Then of course you must come back. Any issues at all Mr...?”

“Yagami. I’m L's partner and he is too stubborn to contact you himself, even if he does become poorly. I would appreciate it if you gave me your number since you’re his consultant”

L huffed indignantly, even though he knew what Light said was true. 

“Of course, Mr Yagami-San, I suspect under your care Mr Lawliet-San will be feeling as right as rain in no time, and if there are any issues or questions you have please do get in touch!”

The appointment ended with Light feeling like he had accomplished something. He had shown L how much he cared for him *and* had proudly declared himself to be L's partner. Therapy notwithstanding, Light decided he would now think of L as a boyfriend rather than a boyfriend-to-be. 

He suspected L felt the same, as they held hands all the way back to the car. 

*************

Shibu Moriyoshi was a vile little rat. With beady black eyes, a nervous twitch and a shifty demeanour, Naomi had hated him on sight.  
Still. He had something she wanted and she was determined to get it. She knew damn well the man would talk out of self-preservation, and that his fear of Beyond Birthday could be washed away (momentarily, anyway) provided she put just enough pressure on him. 

“Let's talk about your illustrious career in criminality. Boy, there's quite a list here! Car jacking, theft, armed robbery, drug smuggling and gang affiliation to name but a few! You *have* been a busy boy!” Naomi snorted derisively and crossed her arms across her chest, levelling the crock with a frank stare, “You know this isn't only about your latest little stealing spree, Moriyoshi. You've got ties with Beyond Birthday, and everything you know about him I want to know”

“I ain’t talking. He will kill me. He's done it before, the fucker is *insane!*”

Naomi smiled as her eyes narrowed threateningly. 

“Oh, you *will* talk to me, you think Beyond Birthday is so terrifying? My nickname is ‘Massacre’ and I more than live up to it. I can make your pathetic little life a living hell” Naomi paused for effect, “Or... I could arrange to have your records wiped and for you to be placed under witness protection. As further incentive you will even be compensated financially for your assistance. Seems like a no brainer to me. I have enough here to keep you incarcerated for as long as I damn well please. I might also let slip to some of your associates you’ve already been talking to the police anyway. So when you look at it, you're fucked. The only option worth taking is the one I’m offering”

Moriyoshi's eyes widened as he realised the implications this bitch's ‘slip’ would mean for him. If any information, true or not, was let out that he was talking to the police he was done for. If it wasn’t Beyond who would kill him it would he someone else. He knew too much, and he half-suspected, half-feared he was living on borrowed time as it was... 

“...You're a bitch”

Naomi barked out a laugh and grinned, “I've been called worse things by worse people than you, you screwed up little prick, and they are all either dead or behind bars. Now, are you going to start talking or shall we see about getting you settled into the cells for a few days?”

“...Why have you got it in for him so badly?”

“Well, other than the fact he's a dangerous criminal who had killed six people so far, he also happened to have attempted to poison my partner and *that* is unforgiveable. I will hound you relentlessly and I will break as many rules as I have to to get him, Moriyoshi, so your best bet here is to play nice and *talk*”

Moriyoshi licked his lips, his mind already made up. Massacre was as terrifying as Beyond, and she had the backup of the law to boot. 

“How much compensation are we talking about?”

Naomi coolly slid a piece of paper over to him. His eyes goggled at the small fortunate and he greedily lapped at his lips. 

“I'm glad we have come to an arrangement. Now start talking, and if you even so much as *think* about lying to me... What Beyond Birthday can do to you will seem like a daydream, I assure you”  
Naomi pressed ‘record’ on the tape recorder, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as Moriyoshi began to talk all about Beyond Birthday... 

*************

“And then my therapist told me to keep a journal, not like the Sunnyhell one but just one to document my recovery, so I was hoping we could maybe shop around for a nice one?”

L smiled up at light as he excitedly filled him in on his latest therapy session. 

He’d asked about it earlier but Light had insisted on getting his results first. Now that they had the good news Light quickly opened up about his progress. 

“Sure, as long as you let me buy it for you” L stipulated, “I spotted a lovely leatherblund journal the other day and thought about getting it for you if you needed it”

“Sounds expensive” Light frowned. He knew L was literally minted, but he didn’t want L to assume he expected him to buy things for him. 

“It is. But your worth it” L pecked his cheek “Anyway, I get to spoil you now, since you are my official boyfriend and all...”

Light grinned at the teasing way L said it and felt a rush of love so strong it took his breath away.  
“Well, hopefully soon I will be your *proper* boyfriend” Light murmured, hoping L's patience would continue. He knew L and Anton had had a rather vigorous love life (and he really wished he didn’t know that, but he'd overheard enough to discern the Russian was some kind of sex god) 

L rolled his eyes, “Light, for the last time. I am patient. I can wait. Besides, I just love spending time with you and kissing you. That is more than enough to make you a *proper* boyfriend now. Don’t presume I will tire of you because we aren’t sleeping together because I will not. Now shut up about that and let’s go get your journal”

Light smiled and clutched L's hand tighter, “I love you” he mumbled, a hot flush sweeping across his cheeks as he spotted a gaggle of school girls cooing over ‘how cute!’ he looked holding L's hand. 

“I love you too!” L replied loudly, seemingly unconcerned about the giggling girls as he led Light to the department store he'd spotted the journal in.

Light followed him in, eyes watering a little at the sheer opulence of the store. The floors were marble! 

“Can I help you, Sir?” A plastic-smiled sales assistant simpered, wavy brown hair gelled to within an inch of its life. 

L nodded and asked for the executive journal and a matching fountain pen for it, oblivious to Light's seething jealousy as the sales assistant fawned over him, complimeted his vintage leather jacket and ‘glorious’ grey eyes. 

“Certainly sir! Might I suggest the matching leather messenger bag?”

“Eh, sure”

“L! This shit is expensive!” Light hissed, flabbergasted L was willing to blow £2,000 on the suggested leather messenger bag without blinking an eye. 

“Well yes, but it's quality” L shrugged. 

“Oooh, I couldn’t agree more!”

‘Urgh, you simpering piece of shit, put your hand on L's arm again and I'll knock those plastic teeth right out of your head!’ Light thought as he gritted his teeth in irritation. 

“I can see you are a man of discerning taste” Carlos, as his name tag declared him, smiled, running his eyes down L's form and back up again. 

L blinked. The dude was blatantly checking him out! *That* was why Light looked ready to blow!  
“I am. That's why I'm dating him” L cocked his head to Light and smiled sweetly. 

The sales assistants face fell a little in a completely unconscious expression of disappointment. 

“That’s right” Light slipped an arm around L’s waist and gave Carlos the biggest shit eating grin he could muster “Aren’t I lucky?”

L ended up buying Light the messenger bag, pen and journal despite Light's protests. 

“You can buy me coffee and cake”

Light sighed as L pulled him towards the cafe.  
“You can’t subside on coffee and cake, L, and I’m pretty sure buying you that won’t compensate for the *thousands* of pounds you’ve just spent on me”

“You know, not everything needs to be met or matched, Light. And I actually can, you heard it yourself this morning I’m some sort of medical marvel!”

Light shook his head and smiled at L's unique sense of logic. 

As they settled down to their food L's phone rang.  
“Hiya, Hoe” L mumbled round a mouthful of cake. 

Light's lips quirked as he thought ‘Naomi’s called then'

“Fuck off, really? Shit. We’re having lunch but we'll be back as soon as possible. You are a force of nature, Nomie, thank you so much!”

‘More good news?’ Light wondered, noting the excited flush on L's face. He hoped so, no one deserved it more than L did, especially after all he had been through. 

“Light, Naomi's somehow managed to get Moriyoshi to talk. He works with Beyond! We’ve got current aliases he’s using and contacts!”

“Shit! Fuck this, let's go!” Light downed the rest of his coffee, chucked some money on the table and grabbed L's hand. 

They drove straight home to find the war council already in session. Anton, Matt, Mello, Ray and Naomi were waiting for them as they sat around the coffee table. 

“So, how are we brining Beyond Birthday down?” L asked without preamble. 

“We are going undercover” Naomi grinned “Sit down guys, we’ve got a plan...”


	16. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi, L and the gang plan how to lure out Beyond Birthday and Light tries to run before he can walk, leading to disatrous consequences... 
> 
> The road to hell is paced with good intentions, and sometimes even the best laid plans fall to pieces...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the first main story arc begins (yes, there are several!) Things take a bit of a Uturn (hehe) when Light royally fucks up!

“I've *seen* that van!” L gasped, eyes wide as he flicked through the photos Naomi passed him. 

“As have I, parked outside this apartment. I know you said he was crafty, L, but this guy takes the cake. He just slips into peoples skins and vanishes from sight. 23 aliases he had used since he came to Japan 9 months ago, 23!” Naomi shook her head in disbelief, “He's currently lying low in Shinjuku. If we work this out right, we can lure him out”

Light frowned, to lure something out usually required bait, and as Naomi’s eyes settled on L, he knew exactly what she was thinking. 

“No” Light stepped in front of L, “Absolutely not, Misora-San”

L opened his mouth then promptly shut it when Light rounded him with a ‘Don’t you *dare*’ look. He huffed and sat down next to Matt and Mello. 

“It’s the best way to get his attention!” Naomi argued, voice rising in frustration. 

“No” Light replied flatly. 

“So, using L as bait is a no go?” Matt asked, glancing back and forth between Light and Naomi, who were glaring daggers at each other. 

“I’d guess so” Anton, ever cheerful, grinned. 

“You'd be right about that, Volkov” Light snipped. L raised an eyebrow, not liking Light's attitude one bit. Yes, he knew Light was trying to protect him, but Anton didn’t deserve to be talked down to either. 

“Right, Light, come and sit down and stop being a snipey bitch to Ant, Nomes, chill and stop glaring at my boyfriend like you want to disembowel him. Let's discuss this rationally and see if we can figure out some kind of compromise” L gave them both a stern look. Each took a seat on the sofas and tried not to glare at one another. 

“Thank you” L sighed. He gratefully accepted a cup of tea from Mello and resumed looking over the documents Naomi had gathered on Beyond Birthday. He softened at the physical evidence of all the hard work Naomi had put into their plan on his behalf and he shot her a small smile “This is amazing, Nomie. I love you, Bitch”

“Love you too, you twat” Naomi sighed, pacified by L's thanks. She turned her eyes to Light, “Look. I get that you are super protective of L, and yeah, what I am proposing does carry a level of risk, BUT if we get this right we take down Beyond Birthday. Besides, look how close he came to killing L. We all know unless we act soon he's going to try again...”

Light frowned. God damn it he could see the logic in it! But this was L they were talking about. What if something happened? 

“I would like to hear your plan and decide for myself” L said slowly and carefully, “Light, I appreciate your concern and I love you dearly, but if I feel the rewards outweigh the risk I am seriously going to have to consider doing this. I know you all have my back, and I would gladly die for each and everyone of you- and that is what I am most concerned about”

Mello tilted his head, confusion obvious as he tried to figure out what L meant. 

“You think you’re going to end up dead trying to protect us from him?”

“It’s a possibility, but no, that isn’t what I meant, Mello” L admitted quietly, “I am concerned, terrified actually, he is going to target you to get to me. When we had first split up he went for a friend of mine, beat him to a pulp and fractured four of his ribs. Not because my friend had done anything to him, no, Beyond beat him up because I had been to a concert with this friend. That is how jealous and vindictive he is. I won’t risk any of your lives. I want to know your plan, Nomie”

L listened to the plan in silence. For the most part he was impressed by how well thought out and detailed it was; Naomi used her skills to analyse Beyond and pander to his delusions. Naomi wanted him to reach out to Beyond and call his bluff. Ask to meet publically under the guise of reconciliation. Beyond's pride would force him to step out of his comfort zone and meet L's challenge, even if he didn’t fall for the reconciling bluff. They would provide backup and be heavily armed and when Beyond *did* try something (because obviously he would) they had the perfect excuse to shoot to kill. Beyond was a wanted murderer after all. 

“What if he brings his own backup? It could turn into a fucking free for all. Any of us could be killed. It sounds like utter chaos. Please tell me you’re not considering it, L”

“That's a possibility, yes, but I think we all know Beyond won’t move by himself. He will always have his lackeys by his side. If we chose the place and the time we have the advantage of home turf. Furthermore, Kitamura has ever so kindly made it an official police sting. We have licence to kill Beyond if we are able, and I am *itching* to put a bullet between that fuckers eyes. Don’t tell me you aren’t, Light”

L chewed on his lip, deep in thought as he weighed up the risks. Light could be hurt, anyone of his friends could be shot. If it turned into a shoot out members of the public could be killed... the risks and reward balanced on a knife edge. He knew he couldn’t live with himself if an innocent was caught in the cross fire. 

“I don’t know” L finally admitted, eyes dark and troubled as he looked around the small group. “There is a great risk to civilians if we arrange this meeting in a public place, and that isn’t to mention the risk posed to each of you. I can see the merit in your idea, Naomi but... I cannot risk innocent bystanders. Nor will I risk your lives, I’m sorry”

Naomi threw her hands up in frustration, “Fine! Then roll over with your precious conscience and let Beyond kill you then!”

“Get. Out” Light snarled, eyes flashing with contempt “All of you! Get the fuck out!”

“Woah” Matt mumbled, a bit impressed at how scary Light could be when he was well and truly pissed off. 

“Fine! Fuck you too” Naomi snapped, she grabbed Ray's hand and motioned for Anton to follow them “Let’s leave Mr psycho and Mr sulky to brood amongst themselves”

“Naomi, please...”

Naomi paused at the strain in L's voice and bit back another insult. They all needed some time and space to cool down. She took a deep breath and strode out of the door. Having no real choice but to follow her, the others filed out with apologetic looks to L. 

“It's alright. She will calm down, and so will *he*” L shot Light a meaningful look. 

“Have a think and call us when you have decided what the next move is” Ray patted L's shoulder in passing. 

Once they had all left L turned to Light.   
“Well?”

Light cringed. “I’m sorry! I just... L, what did Beyond do to you? What did he attempt?”

L frowned at the question, it was a valid one since Naomi actually knew more about his history with Beyond than Light did. 

“Many things. Other than try to kill me recently he fucked with my mind, alienated me from my friends, stalked me relentlessly and... He tried to rape me. Just before I came to Japan. I... Managed to escape from him, but...” L hung his head, bitter tears filling his eyes. 

“But?”

“I had to stab him to get him off me. I thought I had killed him at first” L admitted quietly,   
“Beyond Birthday is relentless. He will never let me go, Light. It's time I faced that fact. Either he dies or I do, it's as simple as that”

Light blanched at the bleak explanation. There wasn’t a choice. Beyond would die, even if it meant he spent the rest of his years behind bars he would gladly accept that fate if it meant keeping L safe. 

“Then he dies”

L smiled faintly, “I would much prefer that option, Light, but *how* do we kill someone so skilled at disguising themselves and hiding in the shadows? He's been stalking me here for the last nine months. He's nearly killed me already. I know I have to draw him out but the question is how can I do that?”

Light slowly approached, L's words churning in his mind. They would have to step into the shadows if Beyond wasn't man enough to face them... He knelt before him, reminding L of that time in the park when Light had tended to his arm... 

“L, I swear we are going to kill him, okay? We will think of some other way, I’ve only just found you... I can’t lose you now”

L gently cupped Light's head and kissed him. He let out a slight squeak of surprise when Light suddenly pushed him back against the sofa and straddled him. 

“Light?!”

“You’re my boyfriend and I am done being afraid. I want you”

L gulped. His body screamed hell yes but he knew Light wasn’t ready for this. He was frightened and upset and this boldness wouldn’t last. 

“Light-”

His protests were cut off with a searing kiss, Light groaning into his mouth as he twined their tongues together. L clutched at Light's shirt, resolve weakening as Light slipped a hand under his jumper and toyed with a nipple. 

“Fuck, Light, Please-”

Light kissed him again, hands skimming his chest and belly until L shivered beneath him, wide eyed and breathless. 

“Shh, It's okay” Light soothed, lips leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses down L's neck. 

‘It's not okay!’ L thought automatically, even as his hips bucked and he felt himself grow hard. Light shifted above him and playfully yanked off L's jumper before pinning his hands above his head. L had a half seconds warning before Light sucked a nipple into his mouth and thoroughly succeeded in destroying his sanity. 

“Haaa... Light!”

Encouraged, Light rolled the nub over his tongue, delighted by the small moans spilling from L.   
‘Faggot'

Light flinched at the thought, his father's voice, whispering in the back of his mind. 

‘Fuck off, I’m busy making the one I *love* feel good' Light retorted as he gently twisted the other nipple between his fingers. 

L tipped his head back and cried out, hips stuttering as he instinctively sought out friction.   
Light paused as he released L's nipple’s and toyed with the waistband of L's jeans. 

“A-are you sure?” L panted, eyes blown nearly black with arousal. 

Light answered by undoing the button and pulling the loose jeans down. L lifted his hips, torn between the desire to continue and stop before it was too late. 

L closed his eyes as he *felt* Light's heavy lidded stare on his twitching cock, trapped inside his boxers but straining to get free. 

He felt Light’s fingers brush against him and he quivered, holding his breath as he waited to see how far Light was going to go with this. Light answered his question by pulling his boxers down and awkwardly wrapping his hand around his cock. 

L hissed and arched his hips, the clumsy, fumbling grip feeling much better than it should have. Light slowly pumped his length a few times and L collapsed back against the sofa, fight gone as he gave in and relaxed. 

“Is this good?”

“Yes” L sighed, eyes closing at the sensation of Light's touch. Maybe it wasn’t too soon. Maybe Light *was* ready?

Emboldened, Light pretended he was jerking himself off and experimented with pressure and speed until L was moaning his name, precome weeping from him as his excitement grew. 

‘Disgusting. Filthy'

Light's hand faltered. L was feeling good, how was this disgusting? 

“Light? Gah! Fuck, oh-”

Light had suddenly tightened his grip and increased his pace, skimming his hand up and down at a furious pace as he battled with himself. 

L bit his lip, pleasure coiling in his gut. It had been so damn long since he’d felt like this, he knew he wouldn’t last long. His eyes snapped open when Light's body weight shifted. He tried to sit up to pull Light away but then he felt light's breath and *lips* on his cock and he moaned raggedly. 

“Light! Light, god, I’m going to-”

With absolutely no skill to speak of, Light grabbed L's hips and drew him inside his mouth. L screamed as he felt Light gag around his cock. He came abruptly, eyes squeezing shut as wave after wave of pleasure smashed down over him. He emptied himself into Light's mouth, too out of it to realize Light was gagging and groaning in panic as his mouth filled with come and his mind filled with thoughts that were picking him apart. 

‘You’re worthless, cocksucking scum. You always were. This is the proof. Choke on it and die.'

Pleasure abruptly smashed into pieces and became pain as L felt Light *bite* him. Recoiling instantly, L struggled for breath as Light heaved and vomited, body wrenching violently. 

“I fucking hate myself!” Light screamed, come dribbling down his chin and eyes glazed with panic as he scrambled away from L. 

“Light” L gasped, a sinking feeling in his stomach as he realised he had been right. Of course he'd been right. His instincts had told him Light wasn’t ready and-

“Get away from me!” Light slapped his hand away when L reached for him. Tears were streaming down his face as he scrambled to his feet.

L flinched, tears springing to his eyes. In confused panic, all Light could think to do was flee. He grabbed his coat and car keys and bolted from the flat, the door slamming behind him. 

Still dazed from one of the best orgasms of his life and paralyzed by heartache L could only stare at the door in utter horror. 

Light had left him alone! Light had left him! 

He forced himself to breath deeply, fighting down the terror that threatened to consume him. He would get dressed and go to Matt and Mello. Light would calm down and they could... 

L blinked. Why was he feeling so sleepy all of a sudden? Why was... 

L cried out in alarm as he saw the steadily rising fumes swirl around him. 

Gas! 

“What? What the-” he stumbled to his feet and lurched towards the door, every instinct telling him to move and get out *now.* He didn’t want to breath, but panic was making him suck in the smog-filled air and dulling his senses... 

‘Nearly... There!...’

He never made it. Two more breaths and he was out cold, dropping to the floor just inches from the door, hand still stretched out for the handle.   
The maniac watching him whooped in triumph, cock out and red eyes gleaming as his prize finally succumbed to the little trap he’d laid weeks ago. 

It had been so fun watching and waiting for the moment L would be left alone, and little Mr ‘I’m not gay' had played into his hands perfectly! 

“He's knocked out and alone. Go to his apartment and bring him here at once! Kill anyone who gets in your way, I want my Lawli back!” Beyond bit his lip and giggled when one of his men replied with a terrified stammer of ‘Y-yes sir!’

Beyond grinned in triumph as he finished himself off (aided by that lovely show he'd watched earlier) and wiped his come stained hands on his trousers. It didn’t matter if he didn’t look his best, he knew his Lawli would be *delighted* to see him anyway! 

A wide smirk split his face as he watched his team move in, pulling L up off the ground and gagging and blindfolding him. 

“Sort out his jeans but do *not* touch his cock or so help me I will hack off yours!”

The terrified men looked at each other until the oldest and bravest man yanked up L's jeans and boxers, trembling hands signalling his belief and fear of Beyond's threat. 

“Yay, good for you, Maxie, you get to keep your schlong!”

“Th-thank you, Sir”

“Now bring him to me at once, we have so much to catch up on!”

Beyond slumped back against his chair and watched his men cart L off. L might have thought he was patient but he had nothing on him. Beyond had bided his time, watching and waiting for the opportune moment to strike like a serpent. 

And those bunch of idiots had played right into his hands. Perhaps he would send Light Yagami some of his special roses as a token of his gratitude? 

The thought made him shriek with laughter and he flung his head back, giving himself over to the dancing demons within his mind. 

“Laaaawwwlllii! I’ve got you! I’ve got you and I am *never* letting you go again! Kyahahahaha!”

************

Light walked with a blind desire to just keep moving. His legs carried him to the local park where he found a bench and sat down. Tears slipped from his eyes as he tried to just calm down and *think*

He had tried too hard, and gone too far. L had been hesitant but in his desire to prove himself he had ignored the warning signs from L and from himself. He grabbed his phone and rang his therapist, booking an emergency appointment after fearfully explaining what had happened.   
She managed to slot him in and Light took a deep breath, feeling calmer now he had sorted out the appointment. He would do his best to figure out why he had flipped out and talk to L later. 

Light pocketed his phone and slowly made his way back to L's apartment. He was tempted to go and check on him but decided it was probably best to give them both some space until they had sorted their heads out. 

It was a decision Light would bitterly regret... 

*************

“Mels, What the hell? Why do you always do this?” Matt groaned in exasperation as Mello banged his fists on L's door and screamed his name dramatically. 

“I know something’s wrong! I can feel it! Why is his door locked when Light is there?”

“Maybe they’re screwing?”

Mello snorted, “They’re not screwing, Light's got too much shit to sort out for that to happen anytime soon. Something has happened” he grabbed Matt's phone from his pocket and dialled Naomi. 

“What?” Naomi snapped in greeting, not in the mood for any more shit today. 

“L’s doors locked. I can smell something funny from inside the apartment, Naomi”

“Define ‘funny'” Naomi ordered at once. 

“Um... I don’t know, like acrid? Bitter? Huh, hang on let me look through the letter box-oh! Oh, *shit!* there's smog or something!” Mello scrambled back from the door in shock, “Naomi! What do I do?”

“Stay where you are. I’m on my way” Naomi hung up abruptly and did a uturn, cutting off traffic and nearly colliding with an oncoming lorry. She ignored the blares of horns as she put her foot on the gas and floored it back to L's apartment.   
She tried to get hold of both L and Light. Both went straight to voicemail. Alarm bells rang out and she just knew something awful had happened. 

Ray and Naomi ran to L's apartment and with one kick and a bullet to the door lock gained access to his flat. 

“Fuck, knock out gas!” Ray warned, “I will try and open all the windows, keep this door closed as much as possible!”

Naomi sucked in a deep breath and darted inside, her eyes streaming as the gas stung her. Every window they could find was flung open until the apartment finally began to clear and visibility improved. 

There was no sign of Light or L. 

Naomi jumped when her phone rang and she stared at the caller display. Light IMAGAY. 

“Light! Where the fuck are you?! Please tell me L is with you?!”

“...We had a... Misunderstanding and I went off to cool down. Why? What's wrong?”

Naomi screamed and flung her phone to the floor, shattering to pieces. 

“He’s got him! Beyond's got him!” Naomi sobbed brokenly as Ray tried to comfort her. She pushed him away and grabbed her shattered phone, screaming at Light for being so fucking stupid as to leave L alone. It didn’t even occur to her since her phone was broken there was no connection. She just needed someone to scream at.   
Beyond Birthday had her best friend, and she knew there was a very strong possibility she would never see him again. 

She reached for Ray and succumbed to tears, even while her brilliant mind was plotting ways of getting L back. Risky or not, she would move heaven and earth to save her partner, even if it meant she paid the ultimate price herself.... 

Light arrived, pale faced and tear marks down his face. 

“This is all my fault! I’m so sorry!”

Naomi groaned into Ray's shoulder, even now tempted to snap that obviously this was all of Light's fucking fault. He’d left L alone! 

“I have a plan! It's going to be difficult and we are probably going to end up doing nasty shit we really don’t want to do, but it is our best shot at getting to Beyond. We can’t win against him when we plan to bring him into our world so we will have to go into *his*”

Naomi jerked her head up sharply and stared at Light. 

“Naomi. We need to go undercover, and we need to get as close to Beyond as possible. Work our way up the ranks, flatter him and get inside his circle"

“B-but you might have to kill people to keep your cover?!” Mello spluttered. 

Two sets of determined eyes fell on him. Neither gave a fuck what they had to do, they could live with it provided it returned L safely to them. 

“Tell me what you have planned Light. I will do *anything* to get L back”

Taking a deep breath to fortify himself, Light began explaining the movie he had seen as a child. A foreign film, it was about a police officer who went undercover and became a criminal to bring down the drug lords who had killed his daughter. He had killed, raped and battled with his conscious and every step of the way but in the end he had his vengeance. 

“We need alibies, new identities, Kitamura's backing and promise of absolution for the crimes we are going to commit” Naomi muttered, already thinking about slashing Beyond Birthday's throat. 

“Let’s get started then” Ray smiled grimly, “This idea is crazy, dangerous and stupid, but it just might work...”

Within four hours, Kaho Suki and Ashai Suki were born. Brother and sister from Kyoto, they would set the criminal world ablaze. Murders they had not committed would be attributed to them, crimes they were not responsible were suddenly theirs. With Matt's hacking skills and Mello's big mouth, slowly but surely the news that a new pair of killers were in town began to spread. 

“And now we need to get to Moriyoshi. The rat's squealed once, he will squeal again. Light...I am so fucking pissed off at you now it's unreal, but this plan of yours is brilliant. I’ve got your back, but uou have to promise to have mine too. What we are getting ourselves into...”

“I know. I know what we are getting into and what we have to do, but I would walk thorough hell and back to save him” Light clenched his hands into fists, hellfire burning in his eyes. “He's mine to kill, Naomi. I know what to do. Follow my lead on this”

Naomi sighed as her mind shouted at her to tell Light to go fuck himself for that presumption. She was 32. She had nearly ten years experience on the brat! 

But her heart... Her heart told her to follow Light Yagami. He’d got them into this, and somehow she knew he would he the one to get them out of it too. 

“Fine, Asahi. Let's get to work!”


	17. Silk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L wakes up and enters his worst nightmares,  
> but soon formulates a plan for survival. Light and Misora enter the criminal underworld...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dark shit happens here! Rape, murder all that fun stuff. 
> 
> (The rape scene at the start of this chapter was written by the Awesome Eventhoughidied. I felt a bit squicked trying to write it at first but and she kindly offered to assist, so cheers dude!) 
> 
> On a lighter note we also get to see the utter BRILLIANCE that is L, Light and Naomi's wonderful minds as they all play the game of manipulation and survival.

Consciousness merged with oblivion as L struggled to snap out of his lassitude. 

A woman's giggle? Music? He struggled to concentrate, his head lolling weekly against his chest as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Muffled conversations, low, pain filled moans... 

No. They were coming from himself. Was he in pain? He honestly didn’t know. Nothing made sense. Water was thrown over him, bringing him to some state of lucidity and he struggled to open his eyes. 

“Wakey Wakey, sleeping beauty!”

L's eyes snapped open, breath caught in his throat and panic clawing at his insides. Oh god, that voice. He knew that voice! It was the one who whispered to him in his nightmares. It was *his* voice... 

“Beyond” L rasped, eyes widening in sheer terror at the sight of that maniacal smile leering down at him. 

“Awww, I *knew* you wouldn’t forget me, Lawli! But then who can forget their first ever love?”

L was mortified when he felt warm wetness trail down his legs. The air chocked in his lungs as he heard that maniacal laughter. 

“You've actually *pissed* yourself? Hahahahaha! L! You disgusting little creature”

L flinched back when Beyond leaned closer to him, a wide grin on his face. The restraints would only let him move so far and L tugged on them desperately. He couldn’t move! His sopping hair fell into his eyes and he trembled when Beyond pushed it aside, all the better to the L's terror-filled eyes. 

“I thought you wasn’t afraid of me, hmm, Poppet?” Beyond simpered and playfully tapped L's nose “Pissing yourself and trembling like a leaf? I think you are afraid of me, L. I think you are *terrified* of me”

L shuddered at his cold touch, closing his eyes and turning his head away as tears escaped his eyes. Beyond forcefully grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. L forced his eyes open, only then realizing that Beyond was naked and... So was he.

“Oh, Lawli. I wanted us to pick up where we left off. I just can't have you stabbing me again, Hence the bondage!” he laughed as he made a circle around L, appraising his handiwork. “I thought you would be into it.” 

L squealed when Beyond smacked his exposed ass. L was bent over and bound in a standing position, his legs apart. Rope wrapped around his throat, waist, chest, arms, legs, everywhere. He could already tell he had the beginnings of rope burns on certain parts of his body.

Beyond stopped in front of L again, his limp dick flush with L's mouth. L knew what was coming and he hung his head against the rope on his throat, hoping in vain he could choke himself out.  
“Here's the deal, Lawli. You're going to suck for lube! It's a game! The better a job you do sucking me hard, the more generously I apply lube to your ass. Bite me and I'll impale you with a steel rod.”

L began wishing he had died of the poisoning. Thoughts of Light sprang into his mind and he decided he would survive this. Short of killing him, there was nothing Beyond could do to his mind or his body that he couldn't overcome. He had Light. That was enough.

“What are you waiting for?” L lifted his head and smirked, “Let's play.”

Beyond clapped his hands in giddy excitement, which somehow made him seem more insane. He walked up to L's face and piled himself into L's mouth. L began sucking the grotesque lump of flesh fervently and Beyond gripped L's hair in painfully tight bunches. It was all L could do to keep from biting down at the wincing pain, but he kept going, his neck and jaw muscles beginning to burn with fatigue.

Beyond became excited as he grew hard in L's mouth and began face fucking him, his balls slapping against L's chin. L gagged and choked and was stifled for air against the pounding his face took. Beyond pulled away and ended L's suffocation.

“Oh, Lawli! You learned some new tricks while I've been away” Beyond crowed as he waltzed his hardened dick to L's back end.

L breathed out and tried to calm himself in preparation of what was to come. It didn’t work. 

“AAAHH!!!” L screamed as Beyond forced entry with little more than the leftover saliva on his dick. “I thought you said you would use lube!”

“I will,” Beyond replied casually, “You'll eventually bleed.”

L burst into tears as he felt Beyond shred him. It felt like he was being split in two. He vomited from the dizzying pain but did not pass out, mores the pity. 

“Oh come on, tell me you like it!” Beyond cried with each thrust, hands clamping onto L's hips and ragged fingernails digging in hard enough to bruise. 

“I-I can't lie to you, B,” L gasped, “You're just not as big as Light.”

Beyond wailed and angrily thrust himself inside L. Beyond had been right about one thing; his blood was starting to act as lubricant.

L never cried for Beyond to stop. He never begged him for anything. Instead, he insulted his size and repeated over and over how he could never satisfy him like Light could. Beyond would never know that he was lying and if each word that left his lips hurt him even the slightest bit it was something. He would not go down without a fight! He bit down on his lip as he felt Beyond's erratic thrusts increase in pace. He was close. This would be over soon... 

Finally Beyond grunted and disgustingly came inside L. When he pulled out, blood and come trickled down L's legs. 

L hung his head and held his breath, mentally preparing himself for the backlash his spiteful lies would bring him. Mercifully, this time, there was none. 

Beyond left him without another word.

L heard the door slam and gulped in air, his body racked with tremors. He felt the maddening sensation of Beyond's come and his own blood seep out of him and he gritted his teeth in irritation. He would endure. 

His friends would come for him. Light would move heaven and earth to find him... 

Wouldn’t he? L sobbed in distress as the days events unfolded in his mind. With nothing but the soft pat's of his blood dripping to the floor for company he finally passed out and entered sweet oblivion. 

*************

With a plain black wig made of real human hair and black contact lenses, an exaggerated Osakaan accent and even a new posture, Light Yagami had well and truly transformed himself. 

He was Ashai Suki now, and nothing but thoughts of vengeance filled his mind. He would do anything, say anything to get L back. He would be the one to free L from Beyond Birthday once and for all. He knew what he had to do, and he had prepared himself to enter the underworld of Tokyo's criminal society with a fierce braveness that impressed and inspired those around him. 

Love made Light Yagami fearless. 

Naomi was equally as unrecognisable and fierce in her determination to find L. She had forgone wearing a wig since they irritated her scalp and had opted for a jaggedly short Bob instead, her long black hair shorn away as a symbol of her determination. She dyed it a vivid dark violet colour that flashed under the light. She used her cosmetic skills to make her lips appear larger, her cheekbones sharper and hid her stormy black eyes under a pair of soft brown contact lenses. 

“Our body doubles are set up, they’re going to follow the patterns of behaviour we have displayed so far. Mine is called Alexia and Light's is Maxim. Remember you guys are in charge of directing their movements. To the outside world it *must* appear that Light and Naomi Misora are continuing to live their ordinary lives”

“Got it” Matt nodded, “Mello's already working on a timetable and Anton's agreed to keep up appearances at La Mode. I will handle the tech support. Anything I can do to help you, contact me”

They said their goodbyes and left their old lives behind. Light felt like he was living in some surreal alternate universe as he called his mother to remind her to continue acting like everything was normal. 

Beyond Birthday possessed a ferocious intelligence. Their whole undercover mission hinged on fooling him and his spies into believing Light and Naomi were floundering in their search for L.

They would hide in plain sight until they got close enough to move in for the kill. 

Naomi made short work of breaking into a car and hot wiring it and Light felt the tension between them. It grew unbearable until Light snapped and poured his heart out. He explained his meltdown and the reasons he had left L alone. 

Surprisingly, Naomi seemed to soften towards him. 

“It was a mistake, Light, a stupid mistake, but you were not to blame. Beyond must have been planning this for months. I suppose it was inevitable he would capture L... And...” Naomi sighed, “I’m sorry you had that meltdown. It couldn’t have been easy. Your father is a right piece of work you know”

“Oh, I know” Light attempted a smile. It looked more like a grimace. 

“You and L love each other intensely. His love for you is what kept him alive, you know. It kept him going even though his heart was failing. You need to feed off the same strength now”

Light swallowed thickly and nodded his head. He felt better now they were speaking candidly to each other. The air had needed to be cleared before they fully immersed themselves in their roles. 

“I don’t hate you, Light” Naomi answered the unasked question hanging between them, “And I should have been more empathetic with you. My sister is a lesbian and she went through hell when she came out. Nothing compared to you but... I'm sorry. L is my best friend and you are the one he loves. By extension that means you are now my friend too. I’ve got your back”

Light smiled gratefully and clasped Naomi's shoulder. 

“And I’ve got yours, Naomi”

Naomi pulled up at a dingy nightclub and transformed before his eyes. Her face became stony and impassive. 

“Let's get to work then”

Asahi and Kaho Suki climbed out of the car and prowled into the nightclub. The bouncers stepped aside for them, sensing the danger that seemed to cloud around these young people. 

‘Need to make sure our names are remembered tonight' Naomi tossed her head and barged past a drugged up girl. 

“Oi! Watch it! Do that again and you’ll be sorry” the bleach-blonde bimbett slurred. 

Rachel Stevens, just one of many of Beyond's drugged up groupies. 

“You fucking watch it, slut, or I’ll put a dagger down your throat instead of a cock!” Naomi screamed, eyes flashing menacingly “I don’t give a fuck who you work for, girlie, yell at me again and I will fucking *end* you. Tell your boss Kaho Suki says hi!”

“Be-Beyond will hear about this!” The girl squealed, trying to sound threatening. 

“Oh good, tell him from me that your a whore and he could do so much better!” Naomi cackled and strutted away, satisfied she had been overheard.  
Now all she had to do was continue to rub these criminal scum up the wrong way even more and show them why no one messed with the legendary Suki siblings.

She propped herself up at the bar and snapped her fingers at the harassed looking barman.  
He instantly darted over to her, ignoring his other customers. 

“S-Suki-San!”

Naomi inwardly marvelled at how brilliant a hacker Matt was. The respect and fear his actions had installed in these people was phenomenal. 

“Vodka. Ice. Now”

He bowed his head and rushed off to prepare her drink. She felt appraising eyes on her and tossed her head arrogantly. Let them all look. Her ears strained as she picked out the whispers around her. 

“They were responsible for the Moyo murders...”

“Heard they’re big shots from Kyoto...”

People seemed to part like waves as Light sauntered over to his ‘sister’ and sat next to her.  
And then the whispering began again. 

Both shared a pleased smile. News of their dominant display would soon reach Beyond Birthdays ears... 

************

L sat shivering in a bath tub, staring with dull eyes as his own blood sullied the water.  
Beyond had left him alone for two hours to attend to ‘business’ before returning with food. It had dented his pride but L had eaten the food Beyond insisted on hand feeding him. He comforted himself by arguing he needed to maintain his strength if he was ever to get out of here... 

Beyond, pleased at L's obedience, decided he would allow him to wash. L doubted that was for his benefit, he probably smelled awful. Still, L sensed Beyond's irritation at him and had mumbled an apology for what he had said. Beyond had appeared surprised and then *pacified* by it, and that had sown the seeds of an idea in L's mind. 

As he sat scrubbed at his skin, he had a few precious moments to ponder on his idea. Survival was the goal, he needed to last long enough to either be rescued or find his own way out. 

Antagonizing Beyond had been satisfying, but it was not a move conducive with survival. No, if he really wanted to hold on and weaken Beyond he needed to be smarter than that. He needed to rise above the petty need to make Beyond suffer and use his years of experience into Beyond's psyche. He knew the man and the monster. It was possible he could manipulate both. 

If he lapsed into the role of obedient, terrified pet showing all the classic symptoms of Stockholm syndrome he could dupe Beyond into lowering his guard. It would take time and a great deal of effort on his part, but it was achievable. He closed his eyes at the thought of what he might have to do to secure Beyond's belief that he was so very broken as to suddenly appear as if he was giving up...

“Five more minutes!”

L hung his head and washed his hair, brain working furiously as he did his best to use these last few minutes of peace and solitude wisely. 

‘Beyond liked it when I apologized. He always did like it when he could make me sorry for my perceived wrongs. He needs to be in control, he is intelligent but he is also highly emotional. I need to use those emotions against him'

L climbed out of the bath and groaned at the sharp sting of pain in his rectum. He breathed through his nose as he grabbed the bathtub to steady himself. 

Did he need stitches? Would Beyond just destroy him? 

L breathed through the pain as he carefully towelled dry. He reached for the pile of clothes left for him and paused, a memory swimming to the surface of his mind as his fingers brushed against silk. 

*Flashback*

“B, it's gorgeous” 19 year old L Lawliet sighed as he traced his fingers over the cool silk, “Thank you so much!”

Beyond smiled down on him beneavantly and gently wrapped his fingers around the base of L's skull. 

“I like seeing you in silk, L. It suits that delicate, pale skin of yours”

Blushing, L pulled off his T-shirt and slipped on the new silk shirt. It was a sort of tunic style top, popular in the middle east and certain parts of Africa. Beyond had bought it for him after his moat recent trip to Egypt. 

“What do you think?”

“Beautiful” Beyond praised, red eyes glowing possessively as he stroked his fingers through L's hair and down his neck. “Every time you wear silk I want you to think of me”

L smiled up at him, innocent trust in his eyes and happiness in his heart. 

“I *always* think of you, Beyond”

Beyond’s lips curved into a smile.  
“Good”

*End Flashback*

L pulled on the green silk shirt and picked at the delicate embroidery as he thought back to the past. This choice of outfit was a sign Beyond wanted to return to how things where between them, and in his messed up and delluded mind, L suspected he thought that was entirely possible.

‘Well, I will just have to play along with your delusion then, B...’

“Time's up. Boss wants you back in his office. Now”

L dragged the comb through his hair once more and meekly filed out of Beyond's lavish bathroom. 

He hunched his shoulders and protected all the outward signs of a man who had been broken and terrified, even as his eyes darted around the palatial apartment to check for exits and anything he could use against Beyond. 

L waited as his own guard (Some giant, blubbery brute named Faioshi, whom L had privately renamed FAToshi) knocked on Beyond's door. 

“What?!” came the petulant yell from within.

“Lawliet's done with his bath, Sir”

“Oooh, goody! Come in!”

L steeled himself as the door opened and he stepped back into Beyond's office. He blinked in shock as Beyond grinned at him, some blonde girl kneeling on the floor and slurping on his cock like her life depended on it. 

‘Maybe it *does* depend on it...’

“Rachel here just came back with some rather surprising news. Oh, you do look lovely in silk...”

L stared at Beyond as he smiled at him. Was Beyond reflecting on the past too? 

“Pop quiz time, L. Who are the Suki siblings?”

L kept his face perfectly neutral. He had no fucking idea who they were, as far as he knew no such criminals existed... 

‘Unless...’

“Criminals” L replied quietly, “Not from here. They’re smart. Ruthless. Can’t pin anything on them” he kept his answer purposefully vague to allow Beyond to read into his answer as he will. His intuition told him to play along, even if he didn’t know why, so he followed his gut instinct and confirmed the existence of two ‘criminals’ he had never even heard of before. 

“Huh, so they *are* legit” Beyond grinned, appearing pleased. “And the good old boys in blue can’t pin their crimes on them?”

L shook his head. 

“You’re not lying to me, are you, Pet?”

Again, L shook his head. 

“Hmm. Fai, I want you to keep eyes and ears open, find out what you can about these siblings. They are either going to prove a threat or an asset to me. I particularly like the girls style. Dagger down the throat instead of a cock, hehehe”

L’s eyes widened slightly. That sounded like something his harpy would say! 

The lumbering man bowed his head and retreated from the room. L gulped as he closed the door behind him. 

“Tch, this one could learn a lot from you” Beyond drawled. He pushed the girl away from him and beckoned L forward. “Show her how it's done. Bite me or do anything funny and I put a bullet through her sorry excuse for a brain”

L shuffled forward, anxiety radiating from him. The girl whimpered and scooted back from Beyond. 

“Watch and learn, whore” Beyond snapped. He clicked his fingers and the girl crawled back to sit by his feet. 

L stood before Beyond, eyes solemn as he stared down at him. 

“On your knees”

L knelt. 

“Open that slutty mouth of yours”

L opened his mouth and dipped his head, taking Beyond into his mouth. His stomach churned with disgust as he felt Beyond twitch in his mouth and slide himself in deeper. Hands cupped his head and L squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Aaaaah, yes. You are quite the cocksucker, aren’t you?” Beyond moaned, head tipping back in pleasure. 

L forced himself to suck and use his tongue, teasing precome out of the weeping slit as Beyond groaned raggedy. Tears burned behind his eyes as he felt Beyond bunch his fingers in his hair. 

“Fuck yes, that's good. Fucking take it all!”  
L gagged as Beyond snapped his hips forward and thrust fully inside. His eyes watered as he sucked in air through his nose. 

“You taking notes, Bitch?!”

The whimpering girl nodded her head widely, eyes glued to the scene in front of her. L bobbed his head and used tongue and suction to pleasure him. She had only sucked.

“You used to moan like a slut when you sucked my cock. Moan for me”

L moaned and flicked his eyes up to Beyond's face to see his reaction. 

Beyond's hips stuttered and his face hardened at the look of resigned misery in L's eyes. Tear-filled submissive eyes were his favourite! 

Beyond redoubled his efforts and began to fuck L's face hard and fast, spurred on by the image of those eyes burning in his mind. 

L moaned again as he felt the cock in his mouth throb and then he tasted the first bursts of come flood his mouth. 

“Aaah! Yes! Fucking swallow it, Lawli, drink it all up”

L swallowed the best he could, but his churning stomach making it difficult. Come dribbled down his chin as he forced his gorge back down and swallowed the last bursts of bitter seed. 

“Fuck!” Beyond gasped, running a hand through his air and grinning down at L, “Forget being an Agent, you should think about sucking cock for a career! Only mine though. Tell you what, you can be my new official cock sucker until your ass is healed up. What do you think about that?”

L whimpered around his mouthful. Did that mean Beyond wasn’t going to rape him again? Was he going to be allowed to heal... Oh fuck he hoped so. Maybe then he wouldn’t be too damaged for Light. *IF* Light ever wanted him that way... 

L gasped for breath as Beyond suddenly pulled away from him. 

“Well, what did you think?” Beyond smiled spitefully at the girl, “Rate his technique out of ten!”

“N-nine, Beyond-Sama”

L closed his eyes. ‘Idiot’ he thought. The girl had just signed her own death warrant. When Beyond played these games he expected nothing less than a perfect ten to be given... 

“Oh? Why nine?”

Beyond sounded playful. That was never a good thing. 

“He-he has come on his chin, Sir”

“Hmm. You're right. He does. Be a good girl and lick it up for him"

L flinched as the girl grabbed his face. Her eyes were glazed, terrified and so fucking dead already. He averted his eyes, unable to look into them. She tilted his chin and lapped at the rivulets of come dribbling down it. 

“And his throat”

L's eyes widened as he saw Beyond reach for his gun. 

“Good girl. Now turn around and look at me. I will give you your reward”

The girl, the stupid, drugged up but naive girl, turned to Beyond. 

Her eyes widened in terror mere seconds before Beyond planted a bullet right between them. 

L scrambled back as the girl's body slumped to the floor with a meaty thud. Her lifeless eyes stared up at him and panic surged as hands reached down for him. 

His vision swam, blurring the fiery red of Beyond's eyes as he leaned over him. His lips where moving but L couldn’t make out what he was saying. It felt like he was underwater... 

His eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted. Beyond grabbed him just before his head hit the floor and gazed down at him thoughtfully for a few moments. 

Beyond pulled L onto his feet and with surprising tenderness, draped him onto the sofa. He covered L wjth a throw before buzzing his assistant. 

“Clean up required. I’m going out for a few hours. I want someone watching over L until I return. He is sleeping, do NOT wake him up”

Beyond released the button and smiled as he reached for L's leather jacket. It was a snug fit since L was far more delicately built than he was, but it felt nice to wear it. He could smell the fresh scent of L's favourite aftershave on it (Davidoff's ‘Cool Water', he knew, he used to buy it for him all the time) 

Beyond strode from the room, a satisfied smile on his face as he went to check the security footage of Vibes nightclub for himself. 

He hoped the Suki siblings would prove valuable assets in his bid to control the entire criminal underworld in Japan. 

But if they wasn’t... 

Well, he'd just have to annihilate them, wouldn’t he?


	18. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are beset with fears as their deadly game with Beyond amps up a gear...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm low key obsessed with the power dynamics and mind games going on 😍 warnings for murder and dubious consent in this chapter.

L kept his eyes lowered as numerous topless, tweaked out hookers strutted around Beyond's apartment. Were they really so arrogant or were they just naive like Rachel had been? Did they not realize being part of Beyond's haram could cost them their lives? Probably *would* cost them their lives?!.

Or did they just not care? Life was cheap but so were the drugs in Beyond Birthday's world. Maybe that was why they stayed. 

“I don’t even understand why Beyond-Sama would be so taken with such a scrawny brat?” A bold and beautiful red head ‘whispered' as she looked down her nose at L. 

L kept his head low, unwilling to even risk talking to these strung out creatures. He was under constant guard so he was confident enough none of them would try and attack him. Besides, he had a role to play. He had been Beyond's prisoner and plaything for five days now, and he made a show of lapsing deeper and deeper into his thoughts as the days passed.

Though that wasn’t really a difficult thing to do. They were all he had. They were his comfort and torment. He thought of Light and how much he loved him. That gave him the comfort and strength he needed to endure, but then would lay awake and pick himself apart over all the mistakes he had made in his life that had led to this point. 

And then, in the dark of the night he would weep, silently hating himself for sucking Beyond's cock and playing these games of his.

L closed his eyes and his shoulders visibly drooped. He didn’t know how much more of it he could take now.

The whispers continued and L curled in on himself. He was thirsty, but didn’t dare help himself to the bottles of water on the desk. What if they were poisoned? He wouldn’t put it past Beyond. He was hungry too and he tried to ignore it the best he could. He needed to drink something. It had nearly been two days and his thirst was driving him insane. People could die in three days without water... 

“Hey”

L flinched when he felt a soft hand touch his face. A young girl, not much older than he was, smiled down at him. 

L instantly noticed how eroded and yellowed her teeth were. A crack addict, he presumed. She seemed friendly but twitchy, watery eyes forever darting around to take in her surroundings and eye up the competition , perceived or otherwise. 

“...” L bit his lip. Was he allowed to talk to her? Was this some sort of test? What if Beyond killed her out of jealousy because L had dared to talk back to her. He wouldn’t put that past Beyond.  
It wasn’t possible to curl in further on himself so he hugged his knees and laid his head down. Don’t talk to me. Leave me alone. L hoped she could read his body language. 

Unfortunately, it seemed she couldn’t. 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed you know, you’re the only boy Beyond-Sama has ever shown any interest in. You’re one of us now. Maxine can be rude, but ignore her. She’s just jealous you’ve taken over Rachel's role”  
L blinked. That red head was jealous of him because he had the dubious honour of sucking Beyond Birthday's dick?

“Beyond Birthday is *gay*” L mumbled through a parched, sore throat, “I suppose he only has you lot around for appearances sake. Please don’t delude yourselves into thinking you’re anything special, because your not”

Angry gasps and hisses rang out at his words. L noted his guard merely smirked and turned his attention to a skeletaly thin girl hanging off his arm. 

“Wow! Rude! I was trying to make you feel welcome but you know what, fuck you!”

L sighed and closed his eyes once again as the yellow toothed woman abruptly stood up and left him. L felt dizzy and disorientated and he really *needed* something to drink now... 

He slumped a little further and Fat guard quickly grabbed him by his collar to stop him falling off the sofa to the floor. 

“You sick? What’s wrong with you? Spit it out!” he sounded concerned, but L knew it wasn’t for *his* benefit. The guard had neglected to feed him or give him water (he'd been too busy fucking the whores) and his pride had stopped him from begging for food or water. His pride and his belief that Light and Naomi were coming for him was all he had left. 

‘Fuck you' L thought, even as he struggled to hold his head up. The door opened and the girls giggled like an excited group of schoolgirls. 

“Hey ladies, I trust you’ve all been looking after my latest pet. Hey! Fai, what’s wrong with him?!” Beyond's eyes narrowed in displeasure as he saw how weak and sickly L appeared. 

The big guard gulped and hastily stepped away from L. He knew he should have forced him to drink something! 

Beyond growled in annoyance as he immediately diagnosed dehydration. L's head lolled back against the sofa weakly as Beyond pushed him back to sit properly. 

“When did he last drink something?” the words were soft, just a hint of danger to them. 

“Yesterday, I think?”

Beyond snarled in outrage and stormed over to the guard. The big man's automatic instinct was to protect himself, but by the time his hands found his gun it was too late. Beyond slashed his knife across his throat in one smooth arc and stepped back to avoid the jets of blood. He left his guard to clutch at his throat and bleed out as he swept his furious eyes across the cowering girls. 

“Idiots! I spend 2 days away from here and I come back to Lawliet nearly dead and you lot milling around like a bunch of useless twats. Get out. Now!”

The whores left, their self preservation too strong to persuade them to linger. Beyond grabbed a water bottle and opened it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!”

L moaned weakly when Beyond yanked his head back by his hair and pressed the bottle to his lips.

L drank the small sips Beyond gave him eagerly. If it was poisoned he was passed caring. The water tasted like fucking nectar as it trickled down his throat.

“Idiots. I will have to look after you myself then” Beyond huffed, as if keeping L fed and watered was a chore.

L finished off the water bottle and whined in distress when he realised it was all gone.

“Where’s your fight gone, L? Where's the spark? Are you broken already, my beauty?”

L slowly opened his eyes and stared up at Beyond. He said nothing. 

A sick smile slowly spread across the lunatics face. 

“Tell you what, you suck my dick and you get to drink my come AND I will let you have another bottle of water”

L hung his head and tiredly reached for Beyond's fly. He was lethargic and did little else than keep his mouth open as Beyond fucked his face and swallow when he was ordered to. Beyond glared down at him in annoyance. L sucked his dick better when he was healthy! He tucked his spent cock away and made L drink another bottle of water, occasionally making him choke and gag when he poured too much into his mouth. 

“There. Aren’t I just the best owner. Say it, L. Say I am a good master!”

‘God no, don’t make me say that...'

L cried out as Beyond hauled him up by his hair. His scalp burned and he wobbled on his feet as Beyond glared down at him expectantly. 

“You are... A good... Master” L managed through chocked sobs. 

Satisfied, Beyond released his grip on L's hair and let him fall to the ground.

L didn’t move from his sprawl on the floor. He forced himself to not vomit. He needed that water, he couldn’t be sick!

He was floating, semi conscious with waning lucidity when he heard Beyond on the phone.  
He was talking to someone about the Suki siblings... 

************

Light slammed his fist into the man's face, hearing the crack of teeth beneath his knuckles.  
Falling backwards in a dazed sprawl, the man was out for the count. Light stepped over him and continued on his way into the drug den.

Matt had informed him these kind of ‘takeovers’ were both common and expected. He needed to prove his worth by eliminating a few rivals and securing their patches. He needed to take control of the drug trade in the Kanto region. Luckily he knew just the man to ‘take over from' 

“Suki-San!”

Light smiled coldly at Moriyoshi. If the man dared give his cover away now he would put a bullet through his head. Beyond knew who they were and was considering meeting them to discuss a deal. He could not afford any mistakes now. Moriyoshi would play his assigned role or he would die. It was that simple. Hopefully Naomi had made it clear enough to him. 

“ The Kanto region is *mine*” Light said firmly, “I haven’t killed any of your men downstairs. They might prove useful to me. But I want you out of Kanto. We both know what happens if you ignore me”

Moriyoshi gulped. Today was the day he was due to go under witness protection and ‘disappear’ from the Tokyo crime scene. It stood to reason most people would assume he was dead after ‘Asahi's' takeover of his territory. 

As much as the crook hated to admit it, Misora and Yagami's plan had so far been extremely successful. 

“All right! All right, Jesus. I don’t want any trouble with you. Take Kanto” Moriyoshi held his hands up as he stood. He shook his heads at the two guards who would prove witnesses of the takeover. Both he and Light knew they were in Beyond Birthday's employ and would report back everything. 

“I will” Light smirked, “You have ten seconds to get out of my sight you sack of shit”

Moriyoshi scarped. He ran all the way to his car and flung himself into the drivers seat. As soon as he left Light fired off a message to Naomi. He knew she would be primed and ready. 

Moriyoshi got so far as a hotel parking lot in Shibuya before Naomi Misora uncurled herself from the backseat floor space and slammed a knife into the back of his head. 

As the man twitched and died before her, Naomi carefully wiped off her knife and tucked it away.  
She was never one to leave loose ends. Especially loose ends that might just betray them. 

Within hours the news spread that the Suki Siblings had taken over the Kanto region.  
Moriyoshi had been found dead in his car and no prints, no security no *nothing* had been found to implicate the brother and sister duo. 

This was the news that would be reported back to Beyond Birthday the following morning.

After checking in with their friends and the police station, Light and Naomi curled up together on a motel bed, exhausted and strung out. Their shared experiences of fear and the constant paranoia of discovery had brought them closer together. 

“Did he die quickly?” Light mumbled as he stared up at the ceiling, one hand idly carding through Naomi's short hair. 

“Yes. He was dead in seconds” Naomi lifted her head from Light’s chest and gazed up at him through the darkness “He won’t be the only person we have to kill to get closer to L, Light... Are you okay with that?”

Light sighed and closed his eyes. He suddenly felt so very tired, and he couldn’t even bring himself to think how L must be feeling. He just prayed he was alright and that he knew his friends would be willing to move heaven and earth to get him back.

“I am okay with doing whatever it takes to get L back” Light finally answered, “Even if that means sleeping with Beyond Birthday”

Naomi jolted upwards like she had been shot.  
“What??!!”

“I’ve figured it out, Naomi. Beyond will either view us as allies or threats, we both know that. But, L once told me Beyond was similar to myself. He made sure he was surrounded by woman and was seen to be ‘normal’ but he too struggled with his sexuality. That was why he always called L a ‘fag in denial' because he is bisexual. He was jealous of L's attraction to women. If I can appease his vanity by prostrating myself to him he will take me up in my offer. And then... When the time is right I will be in the perfect position to kill the cunt”

Naomi stared at Light in wide-eyed wonder. Where had this strong, merciless man been hiding? 

“I have to believe I can do this, Nomie” Light’s voice cracked as tears fell from his eyes, “I am so fucking afraid of the person I am becoming. Who I will become to keep L safe. I will do anything to bring him back...”

Naomi reached for him as he sobbed and wrapped him in his arms.

There was nothing she could say to comfort him, because she shared the exact same fears...  
And she felt the exact same way he did.  
There was nothing she wouldn’t do to save L Lawliet. 

*************

L stared down at the chess board, contemplating his next move. He knew he had to let Beyond win. He had to appease the beast's pride. No matter what he had to keep going. 

Today was day ten of the nightmare that was now his reality as Beyond’s pet. 

He made a show of yawning and rubbing his eyes as he clumsily moved a pawn. Even fatigued, emotionally wrung out and physically weakened by stress, he could have wiped the floor with Beyond if he so chose.

Beyond’s eyes gleamed as he watched L struggle. His pet was *finally* giving into him! 

“Food is arriving soon. I want you to eat all of it, not just candy. Understand?”

“Yes, Master”

Beyond giggled, a thrill shooting up his spine at L's sullen mumble of that title. It had taken a little persuading (read: threats to a certain Anton Volkov's life) but L had soon come round to the idea of addressing him properly, as he should. 

“I’m going to fuck you tonight, the Dr said you should be healed enough. If you are a good boy I will even stretch you out and use lube”

L’s fingers clutched the chess piece tightly. He struggled for control and lowered his eyes.  
“Thank you, Master”

Beyond smirked and knocked over L's Queen. “Checkmate”

L said nothing and nodded his head. It would be checkmate, but it would be Beyond who would lose in the end. He would cast himself into the depths of hell to ensure that happened. And he would have to do that right now.

“Beyond...”

Red eyes stared at him intently. 

“...Never mind”

L *knew* he had piqued Beyond's curiosity and he waited as Beyond stared at him.  
“What? Say what you wanted to say!”

L closed his eyes. The words were bitter on his tongue and he wanted to swallow them back.  
“Do... Do you love me, Master?”

There. Just the right amount of broken vulnerability and hatred. Beyond's nostrils flared and he knocked the chess board off the table. He was on his feet in a heartbeat and pressing sloppy kisses to L's face.

“I love you more than *anything*” Beyond breathed, sounding raptouress, he held L against him tightly, absolutely delighted at this turn of events. Was L finally starting to realize who he belonged to? Had his stubborn lover finally come back to him at long last? 

L accepted the kisses in stoic silence until it was time to kiss back. He tentatively opened his mouth to accept Beyond's tongue and clutched at his shoulders as his ex lover plundered his mouth. He hated himself as Beyond pushed him back onto the bed. He hated himself as Beyond shed his clothes and whispered sweet lies into his ears. And he hated himself most when he cried out as Beyond used his fingers to stretch him open.  
It felt good, and that terrified him. 

“What you had with Volkov and Yagami...” Beyond snarled as he pressed against L's prostate.

Pleasure blossomed and L shuddered against the shock of it. He had gotten so used to enduring pain it was truly a shock to the system now. He cried out as Beyond fucked him with his fingers, just like he used to all those years ago. 

“Tell me it meant nothing. Tell me you are still mine!”

L yelped as he felt the fingers withdraw from him, and the cool splash of lube against his hole.  
“I-It meant... Aaaaah! It meant... Oh god, oh *god*” L flung his head back in rapture as Beyond sank inside him with one long thrust. 

“Tell me, L. Tell me!”

L whined as Beyond grabbed his head and forced him to look into his eyes. 

“I was trying to get over you! Master, I love you!” the words left his mouth and L felt a part of himself shrivel up and die. He would have to desecrate the love he had for Light if he was to survive this. It would be yet another thing Beyond Birthday had taken from him. 

“YOU LOVE ME!” Beyond cried out euphorically as he jerked his hips and fucked L passionately. L’s fingers dug into Beyond's shoulders as he lay back and accepted the hard thrusts into him. Despite himself he could feel the pleasure build inside him as each hard thrust nudged his prostate and made rational thought increasingly more difficult. 

“Ye-Yes” L moaned, eyes tightly shut as he panted for breath, “Ne-never stopped. Even when y-you poisoned me!”

Beyond paused in his actions and stared down at L. He tenderly smoothed his hair back from his face and kissed him. 

“I would never have done that if I knew you still had feelings for me. I wanted you to die and then I would have joined you, L. My poor pet, how you’ve suffered because you just couldn’t accept you needed me”

“I'm sorry!”

(‘He used to love making me apologize for anything and everything, Light. And I did apologize. By the time I realised what was happening it was too late...’) 

Beyond pinned L to the bed and rested his legs on his shoulders, nearly bending him in two as he ploughed into him. L kept his eyes shut and grit his teeth against the slight pain and unbearable pleasure such a position was forcing him to experience. Beyond was in deep, every movement making L cry out lewdly. 

“You’re *mine* Lawli! Mine!”

L came with a strangled sob, his head flying back as his Beyond pumped his cock. Beyond bit into his shoulder as his hips stuttered then stilled. L felt hot bursts of come in his body and moaned softly. Despite everything, he had actually missed that. Missed his lover coming into him and sharing his pleasure. He’d hoped to experience that with Light one day... 

Beyond collapsed against L's chest as aftershocks ravaged him. L had submitted to him. That hadn’t been rape! L *wanted* him! 

L closed his eyes, chest heaving as he tried to piece himself back together.  
Had it worked? 

Beyond pressed a tender kiss to L's throat and L felt the wetness of tears against his skin.  
It had worked. Beyond had believed him!

L shivered as Beyond withdrew from him and pulled the blankets over them.. “Go to sleep, L, now you’re mine again everything will be okay” Beyond mumbled for his guards to resume their duties and L's entire body tensed. They were going to watch them as they slept?! 

“Relax” Beyond shifted behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss against L's shoulder blade and seemed to sink into sleep almost instantly.

L lay awake, eyes wide with horror. He had been playing a game with Beyond and he knew he had little other options but to keep playing it, but one thing more than anything else put the fear of god into him:  
Even he wasn’t certain where the line was between truth and lies anymore. Some of what he had said to Beyond had been true. That pleasure he experienced had been true.... 

L cried silently in the dark, Beyond's arm tightening around his waist as he snored into his shoulder. 

‘Light where are you? I don’t think I can hold out much longer!’

Exhaustion eventually overcome him and he slept fitfully in the arms of someone he had once loved dearly, thoughts of Light running through his mind...


	19. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and Naomi meet Beyond Birthday, L's mental health begins to buckle under the strain...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out of body expriences due to stress and psychological trauma are sadly very real and scary things. This whole chapter is supposed to read as a little disjointed to reflect L's mental wanderings. The shift between the point of view and addressing of Asahi and Light and Kaho and Naomi is also intentonal. 
> 
> Basically, If you feel a bit mixed up and confused by the end of this chapter then I've done my job properly 😂
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Light and Naomi meet Beyond Birthday, L's mental health begins to buckle under the strain... 

“Light! Oh my god, he’s asked to meet us!”  
Naomi shoved her phone in front of his nose, and Light had to cross his eyes a little to read the abrupt message:  
‘BB requests to meet you at 7. Come to suite 121 at the Coronet hotel on the 21st. You will be escorted to his room'

“Yes! Finally!” Light grabbed Naomi and hugged her tightly. These last two weeks had been physically and mentally gruelling, but it had been worth it. Beyond Birthday had finally stepped out of the shadows and requested a meeting with them. 

Neither dared to think what had happened to L in the fourteen days since they had last seen him. For sanity's sake they had to believe L was strong enough to endure whatever horrors Beyond Birthday inflicted upon him. 

“We won’t be able to make a move on him. He’s going to be well guarded and probably armed. We are going to have to grit our fucking teeth” Naomi grumbled bitterly into Light's shoulder. 

“I know, but once we have met face to face it will open up new doors, Naomi. And it will give me the opportunity to charm the slimy bastard”

Naomi pulled away from him and stared at him pensively, “Are you ready for that? I mean you freaked out with L and you love him. Are you going to be able to handle flirting with Beyond?”

Light nodded his head, a grim smile on his lips, “I told you, I will do whatever it takes, Naomi”

They packed up their belongings and quickly got changed. They had both come to think of it as slipping into someone else’s skin. Light Yagami and Naomi Misora were at work right now, trying to find L with the other officers. Asahi Suki and his Sister were about to skip hotels and find somewhere new to set up camp. They couldn’t afford to stay somewhere too long. Their takeover of Kanto had ruffled some feathers and Light had already nearly had his head blown off. Thankfully Naomi had been the better markswoman and had taken down the assassin before he could reload. 

“It’s going to be too risky to wear wires into that meeting” Naomi muttered as she slipped in her contact lenses, “You focus on Beyond, I will try and work my magic on his henchmen. They are bound to know Beyond has got L. I might be able to at least find out how he is”

Light felt a deep pang in his heart as he remembered how lost and frightened L had looked when he stumbled out of his flat.

‘I should never have left you. Not even for a second. I swear when I get you back I will never leave your side again, L'

Light wiped angrily at the tears forming in his eyes and primed his gun. He had met to text his mother to reassure her he was still safe (and alive) but time had ran away from him, and since the meeting with Beyond was in just two days time. 

He typed out a quick message and sent it as a group message to everyone who knew what he and Naomi were up to:  
‘All okay. We are making progress. Established contact with Target in two days time. Will message after meeting. Stay safe!'

He sent the message and pulled on his hoodie, pulling the hood low over his face. 

Naomi wiped the room clear or prints and then they were back out into the night, vanishing once again without a trace. 

**************

It was the 19th of May. L's mind reminded him that was the day Henry the Viii's hapless second wife, Anne Boelyn, was executed on trumped up charges of adultery and incest. If he remembered correctly she was beheaded by a sword, wielded by an expert executioner brought over from Calais. 

L had no idea why he was thinking about Tudor history. His brain seemed to enjoy wandering off on tangents lately. Still, he would rather be thinking about Tudor History than his current situation. 

Since his dehydration episode Beyond had insisted on keeping him close. That meant he had to sit quietly through meetings and remain under a strict guard when Beyond went out of the apartment.

He kept quiet but soaked up the information like a sponge. He might have the opportunity to use it one day. It was growing increasingly difficult to pay attention though, and L suspected he was being drugged. 

Like now, for instance. Beyond was meeting with two of his dealers who were reporting back to him about the Suki siblings. 

“I can’t say I’m surprised. Moriyoshi was a spineless sack of shit” was Beyond's response they mentioned the recent takeover of the Kanto region. Beyond glanced at L through hooded eyes. L was behaving exceptionally well lately... Was he listening in and committing his conversations to memory? Or was he just so doped up he couldn’t move much less talk?

“What do you think, L? Will these siblings prove enemies or allies?”

L slowly looked up and stared at Beyond blankly. He knew the man well enough to know he was being tested. He'd survived two weeks, and Beyond was *finally* starting to let down his guard around him now. That love confession had bought him unlimited access to Beyond. If he could just hold his nerve an opportunity would present itself. A mislaid gun, a bottle he could smash up. Anything... 

‘Who are you kidding, you can just about keep your eyes open!’ 

L jerked his head up, the smog of sleepiness fading back once again as he forced himself to sit up straighter and pay attention. 

Beyond's lips curled into a smile. The sedatives L had been taking dulled that razor-sharp mind and kept him docile enough for him to concentrate on his business whilst keeping an eye on him. Perhaps L had been given too high of a dose, because he looked miles away... 

“Have you even been listening?”

‘Obviously’ L thought, even as he answered, “No, Master”

“Hmm, didn’t think so. Sleepy thing. I asked do you think the Suki siblings will prove enemies or allies?”

L pretended to consider the question. “Allies at first. Probably enemies eventually. I don’t know. I don’t care either”

Beyond snorted at the flippant response, enjoying the twin looks of shock that flickered over his men’s faces. Only L was allowed to get away with talking to him like that. 

Still. He had an image to maintain. He crooked a finger at L and he slowly climbed to his feet. He gasped when Beyond grabbed his arm and yanked him to kneel at his feet. 

“Apologize”

L bowed his head and mumbled what he hoped would be perceived as a sincere apology. He laid his head against Beyond's thigh, stomach churning at the prospect of having to suck him off *again*

“Leave us”

L held his breath as the guards bowed and filed out of the room. He could feel the heat of Beyond's arousal and braced himself to-

“Come here”

L frowned. Where? His eyes widened as he realised Beyond wanted him to sit on his lap. He stood up and awkwardly straddled his captor's waist.

L closed his eyes as he felt Beyond wrap around his waist and hold him still. He rested his head against Beyond’s shoulder, calling on a thousand embraces from their past to appear authentic. 

It was the right thing to do. Beyond let out a little sigh and nuzzled his neck, rubbing his growing erection against L's. L’s breath hitched and his thighs burned when Beyond grabbed his ass and dragged him down to meet his his grinding cock. 

‘Don’t be sick. Don’t be sick'

“I love you, L. Tell me you love me too”

“I love you” L mumbled into Beyond's shoulder, tears springing to his eyes as the lie fell easily from his lips. 

“I’m going to fuck you over my desk, I know how badly you want it, L...”

L had half a second to absorb that bit of information before he felt hands in his hair and Beyond kissing him. L's eyes widened as he saw a wooden bat on the floor. If he could just reach it... 

Beyond scarpered those plans by standing up and hefting him onto the table, knocking aside whatever clutter was on the surface to lay L against the desk. L wanted that bat. He wanted it more than anything. His fingers itched to curl around it... 

His awareness seemed to come and go as Beyond touched him. He felt Beyond pull his jeans down and spread his legs. Then he heard Beyond's panting breath in his ear and slick fingers press into him. He drifted. 

“Ha! Aaah...” L quivered and laid his head on the desk, unwelcome arousal swimming through him with each press against his prostate. The change in position made his sluggish body ache tiredly. He even wondered if he was going to fall asleep as he struggled to keep his eyes open. He relaxed against the current, his body opening to Beyond’s fingers and sucking them inside easily. 

“Dirty little slut, look how ready you are for me. Don’t worry, I’ll fill this gaping hole soon” Beyond said fondly, dropping a kiss to L's shoulder and smacking his ass for good measure. He removed his fingers and bit down on L's neck as he lined himself up and slammed inside him. 

L's vision swam and he clutched at the desk edge, legs shaking and head spinning. The cock spearing in and out of him felt good, but it also felt like it wasn’t happening to him. It felt like his soul was separate from his body. He could hear his cries and pants as Beyond pushed him closer and closer to release but he couldn’t *feel* it. 

Was this the effects of the drugs or was it something else entirely? Was he loosing his mind even though he was doing his best to cling onto sanity and keep going...?

Beyond bit down hard on his neck and groaned, his hips faltering in their frantic movements. L felt the warmth of Beyond's release spurting into him and slumped against the desk, exhausted. He was still hard and aching but that need felt like it wasn’t really his... 

Beyond pulled out of him and turned L around, peering into his hazy eyes. He curled his hand around L's cock and L heard himself moan.   
Why was he moaning? He didn’t *want* to be touched by the creepy, deranged bastard! He wanted to scream at himself in outrage.

Beyond smiled triumphantly at his moans and pumped faster, before he dropped to his knees and L took L's cock into his mouth and sucked on it strongly. Beyond bobbed his head and L whined low in his throat as his toes curled in pleasure that wasn’t his. 

He was more interested in the bat. With Beyond so distracted he could just reach over and grab it now... 

The wood was smooth in his hand as he rolled it between his fingers, anticipating the moment and what he was finally about to do. He raised it above his head and smashed it down onto Beyond’s head, cracking his cranium with a sickening thud. 

Beyond's eyes went impossibly wide as his entire body shuddered, his brain shutting down as L rained blow after blow down on him. Blood spurted out of Beyond's mouth as he chocked, eyes drooping as death glazed his eyes and then-

L was jolted back to himself with a hoarse cry as he came in Beyond's mouth. Beyond moaned in triumph as he dug his fingers into L's hips to keep him upright and eagerly gulped down his lover's come. 

The bat lay against the cabinet where it had always been and L trembled in fear, even as the aftershocks of orgasm raced through him. What had just happened to him? 

L slumped back against the table and stared helplessly down at the messy black hair of Beyond's head. He just didn’t understand! Where was the blood? 

Beyond hummed in satisfaction and gave L's cock a few last licks before he straightened up. 

‘He is completely out of it. Need to start lowering the dose of sedative' Beyond decided as he noted how confused L looked. He found it adorable, he was used to seeing nothing but keen intelligence and cunning in those sharp silver/grey eyes. This desolate confusion held an appeal to him, but he knew in the long run overuse of the sedatives would have a detrimental effect on his precious Lawli.

“You're very tired. Lie down on the sofa” Beyond cooed, setting L's clothing to rights and pulling him over to the sofa. L slumped down on it and curled into a ball, his face drawn and pale as the room swirled and stretched around him. Beyond was stroking his hair and mumbling sweet nonsense to him. Waves carried him further and further away from those demonic red eyes until he relaxed against the current and let the water in. He had once read drowning was actually a rather peaceful why to go, once the initial panic had worn off... 

Beyond smirked as L abruptly lost consciousness. He pulled a throw over him and shook his head, a creepy smile splitting his face.

“You are such hard work, L! You are so lucky I love you!”

L shuddered in his sleep, eyes flickering beneath his eyelids as he dreamed of being swept out to sea and slowly drowning... 

***********

Light stared at himself, at Asahi, rather, in the mirror. 

With his dark hair and dark eyes he looked pale and washed out, but maybe that was stress rather than his new colouring. 

‘Naomi was right. I have to keep it together. I need Beyond to want me. I can’t afford to fuck up and freak out now. I’m gay and for once in my fucking life I am *glad* about it. If I can save L by seducing Beyond...’

Ashai smiled and Light checked for any signs of strain or imperfections. There was none. 

They had just an hour before the meeting was due to take place and Naomi had had a last minute brain wave. 

She decided she was going to tell Beyond she had a contract out to assassinate L Lawliet. She hoped she could use waving away of the contract to prove her ‘loyalty' to Beyond and to glean any information she could about what kind of physical and mental state L was in. 

It was a risk, but then so was willingly meeting up with a deranged serial killer. They hugged each other and stood in silence as they listened to the clock tick down the minutes until it was time to go. Both knew there was a chance they would be killed if things didn’t go to plan but neither spoke of it. 

Instead, they straightened their backs and hardened their eyes, adopting the personas of assassins as they went to their car and drove to the hotel... 

When they arrived they immediately spotted the vast number of unmarked cars, sleek, black vehicles designed to fall under the radar. They both accepted the fact that if something went wrong they were fucked with stoic silence. They were too outnumbered to think otherwise. Their own men were waiting for them in the hotel lobby, an entourage more for show than anything. 

“He's got a lot of supporters” Light murmured as he checked his wig was still clipped in place and practiced his ‘adoring' smile once more. 

“He terrifies people. Half of those who follow him are there through fear rather than loyalty. Don’t make the mistake in believing in quantity over quality here, Light” Naomi whispered back as she applied a fresh coat of lipstick. Her hands were trembling faintly and Light took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. 

“I won’t. I’m following *your* lead today, remember?”

Light's trust in her seemed to rally her. Her hands stopped shaking and the vulnerability in her eyes faded until she stared back at Light with a steely glare. 

“You know, Light, I always used to wonder what it was L saw in you. I just thought you were a prissy little bitch-”

Light snorted, “Thanks, Naomi”

“BUT I can see it now. I can see how big your balls are-”

Light burst into laughter and even Naomi giggled a little. That wasn’t how she meant to phrase it, but she suspected Light got the message all the same. 

“Thank you, Naomi” Light gasped out as he wiped the tears of laughter from his face. They had needed that, the air wasn't as thick with tension around them anymore. He squeezed her hand once more and whispered: “My balls aren’t half as big as *yours* though, Massacre”

Naomi's eyes *gleamed* with satisfaction. She drew away from Light and they stepped out of the car. They strolled up to the hotel like they owned the place and greeted their men with a curt nod. 

It was 6:55.

Kaho made a show of prowling around her men for updates and reports on their days ‘work’ while Ashai, who they had decided would be subservient to his older sister, sat down on one of the plush leather recliners to wait patiently. He noted their actions were being watched and smiled faintly. This world Beyond lived in was draining. Everything was watched and reported and there was so much fucking posturing involved. He thought he had had it tough when he was in the closet and pretending to be ‘normal’ with Kiyomi. But that had nothing on this. He suspected one slip up, one sign of weakness, and allies who swore they had his back would be burying knives in it in a heart beat.

“Suki-San, may I escort you to Beyond-Sama's suite?” 

Ashai nodded his head and climbed to his feet. He looked over his shoulder for his sister, but she was already charming the pants off some of Beyond's henchmen. Kaho glanced over at Light and gave him a little nod. 

Ashai followed his escort into the lift, his men automatically slotting into a protective formation around him. Ashai brazenly complimented Beyond's choice of venue for the meeting as he ran a finger over the gilt glass in the lift. 

“Beyond-Sama was mindful of your recent move to Tokyo and wanted to meet you somewhere comfortable”

Ashai offered the guard a winning smile, “I’ve heard a lot about him. I’m anxious to meet him” he let his voice taper off suggestively and smiled slightly to himself. He knew they’d bought it, he could tell by the brief glances they shared with each other. 

The lift pinged and Light squared his shoulders as he found himself standing directly outside of the penthouse suite 121. Because obviously Beyond would have an entire floor to himself. 

‘Are you here, L?’ Light wondered as he followed the men out of the lift. He hoped Naomi wouldn’t be too much longer. Despite his earlier bravado he really didn’t want to have to deal with Beyond for too long by himself. 

Light hardened his eyes and shut off his thoughts. Now was not the time to be himself. 

“Suki-San, this way please”

Asahi nodded and swept past the guards and into the huge foyer of the penthouse suite. People were milling about, women in sparkly dresses, men in suits. All eyes flicked to him.   
Ashai stared ahead and arrogantly strode to the centre of the room. Beyond wasn’t here yet... 

“May I get you a drink, Suki-San?”

“No. Not until my sister arrives” Ashai waved the man away from him. 

“*She* is the boss, huh? Bloody disgrace, a woman leading men!”

Ashai’s head snapped up at that snide comment and he prowled over to the unfortunate looking business man (he had a birthmark the size and shape of a tomato over his face, and whilst that was eye-catching, what truly horrified those who behold him was the size of that disgusting, dripping nose) 

“You know, you should count yourself extremely fortunate my sister isn’t here to have overheard that flippant remark” Ashai smirked down at the balding man threateningly, “She's something of a feminist, my sister. She doesn’t give a fuck about standardized gender roles. No, she truly is remarkable. The last time she overheard someone looking down their nose at her like that do you know what she did? She cut the man's cock off and made him eat the whole thing!”

Nervous, frightened fitters of laughter rang out and the once arrogant businessman paled and excused himself. 

A rich, dark chuckle sounded from behind him and Ashai turned on his heel to see a tall, dark haired and red-eyed man softly clapping his hands. He was *gorgeous* in a dark sort of way.   
Ashai knew who he was instantly. 

“Oh, Asahi-Kun, I do believe you’ve frightened Nosey off. I should tell you I am something of an equal opportunities employer, and I am very much looking forward to meeting this lovely sister of yours”

Ashai grinned and bowed his head, letting just the hint of desire flicker in his eyes. 

“Beyond-Sama” he breathed, a small smile on his lips. 

Beyond smirked at the man's obvious desire for him and flicked his eyes up and down Asahi Suki. He was stunning. Not as stunning as his dear Lawliet of course, but he would make a very nice bedfellow indeed... 

“Have a drink with me”

Ashai smiled and nodded his head. Of course he would break the rules for Beyond, how could he not? 

Beyond's smile turned sly as he hooked an arm around Asahi’s’ shoulders and guided him towards the bar. 

“So, I’ve heard you want to work with me? I have to say I was very impressed with how fast you outed MoriYoshi through his region. Found in his car with a knife wound to the back of the head”

Ashai tilted his head coyly, “Well, he was in my way. Kyoto doesn’t hold the appeal Tokyo does. I can’t speak for my sister but I would be more than happy to work *under* you, Beyond-Sama”

The general rule was that you should never mix business with pleasure, but Beyond Birthday was never one to follow such rules. He wanted the sultry, sly eyed Ashai Suki so he would have him. Once he’d met with the young man’s business partner (and boss, apparently) the equally stunning Kaho Suki. 

Ashai swallowed the rest of his whiskey and tried not to shudder with relief. Kaho strode into the room, henchmen fawning over her as she tossed her head and strolled over to Beyond. She dropped into the seat next to him and snapped her fingers at the barman. 

“Vodka”

“Miss Suki” Beyond purred, thrilled at the girl's daring. 

“Oh, Beyond Birthday? My, your younger than I thought you'd be. Your reputation proceeds you. I am Kaho Suki. I see you’ve already met my brother. Watch him, he's got a thing for dark haired men”

Beyond snickered in amusement as Ashai blushed and mumbled for his sister to stop being such a bitch. 

“Well, Honey, I can’t. That’s just who I am” Kaho quipped and knocked the vodka back in one go, but not before she dipped her fingernail into it. The polish she was wearing would turn black if it came into contact with drugs. 

Beyond noted Kaho's subtle test and was impressed by her experience and pluck. Kaho quirked her eyebrow at Beyond and drew a finger across her lips. 

“A girl can never be too careful, Beyond-San”

“I couldn’t agree more” Beyond purred. He was not much for women, but he had to admit there was something about this one. 

“Before we get down to business we have a pressing concern to discuss. Just the three of us” Kaho picked up her fresh drink and twirled it. 

“Which is...?”

Beyond, who was busy running his foot up Asahi's leg, plastered on a patient smile. 

“L Lawliet”

Beyond narrowed his eyes at the girl, smile vanishing in an instant. 

‘What do they know about him? What have my men said?! If they try and find or kill L I will slaughter every last person in this room. He is *mine*’

“We've been contracted to perform a hit on him. Your loud mouthed guards have just told me Lawliet is yours? Your lover? Your pet? I’m not sure of the difference, but I’m sure you can see this puts my brother and I in a difficult position. Lawliet is supposed to be *dead*”

“Who ordered the hit?” Beyond could scarcely keep the growl from his voice. He was furious that someone would want his L dead (obviously he ignored the fact he himself had wanted him dead a few weeks ago) 

“I can’t tell you that” Kaho rolled her eyes, “You should know that, Beyond-San. What I can tell you is that I see Lawliet means something to you. So, we are going to have to negotiate how we get out of our contract whilst keeping him alive. Provided he is still alive of course...”

“Of course he is! You know he is, I won’t have any harm come to him. He is *mine* Suki-San”

Light’s fingers curled into the palms of his hands, nails digging into his skin. 

“Of course” Kaho soothed, voice gentle and at odds with the rapid beating of her heart, “Which is why I am willing to negotiate with you. 20% of your revenue for the next month and I will blow off the contract and kill the contractor myself”

Beyond snorted and looked at Asahi. He offered a small smile. 

“You *are* a bitch” Beyond shook his head, half-amused, half-pissed off at her ability to back him into a corner. 

“I *am* a businesswoman” Kaho retorted smoothly, “So, do we have a deal?”

Beyond scowled and knocked back his whiskey sour. He nodded his head and called his chief guard over to him. 

Naomi heard the low mumble of English and her eyes widened in surprise. Beyond was ordering the guard to be doubled around L and for the Dr to keep close by and monitor his ‘condition’

‘Oh, L, what the fuck has this bastard done to you?’

Feeling her composure slip for the first time that night, Naomi looked away and blinked furiously. Tears were filling her eyes and she could not risk being seen as upset or weak. 

Light, or rather Asahi, saved the day. 

He toyed with a ring on Beyond's finger and smiled up at him coquettishly, “I was the one who was given that contract, Beyond-Sama, and I can have the man dead in an hour. Please don’t concern yourself with that... Shall we have another drink and then discuss the running of Kanto?”

Beyond turned to him with a smile and traced his hand with one long, delicate finger. Light made sure to look *dazzled* with lust. 

“Yes, let's...”

**********

Far away from the gathering, L lay awake staring at the ceiling, eyes wide and vacant. The sounds of distant laughter and glasses clinking together registered in his brain, but he ignored them in favour of counting the small patterns on the ceiling. 

His guards shared concerned glances as L mumbled to himself. They occasionally heard the name ‘Light' and each of them knew better than to report L's most recent lapse into... Well, whatever the fuck was going on with him. The Dr was on his way. That would be his shit to deal with. Their job was to ensure L was safe from assassination. 

L ignored his armed guards and resumed counting. He was on 1,231 when it happened. He wasn’t quite sure what it was exactly, but he felt as if something had snapped inside himself.   
He was truly adrift now... 

A/N: Read Reputation by EventhoughIdied. Seriously. I’m holding this fic hostage until you read it. It's a gift to me and it is fucking brilliant! Go leave her all the kudos and I will *consider* updating this further mwahahahahahahahahaha! 😈


	20. Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asahi finally gets an invite to Beyond's bed... Light finally makes his move...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, i'm not okay. I love B. 
> 
> 😭😭😭😭😭😭
> 
> Graphic shit ahead. Don't read if you're a pussy 💁 😂

“Beyond-Sama, Lawliet-San is showing classic symptoms of severe psychological distress! I am aware of your... feelings for him, however I must insist he is taken to a secure psychiatric unit for treatment-”

Beyond rounded on the man with a ferocious snarl and shot the man dead, all in the blink of an eye. 

Classic Beyond Birthday: Act now, think later.  
His guards flinched as yet *another* of Beyond's workforce hit the dust. Dr Yantai was the third, no fourth this week and it was only Wednesday! 

“What was that? I can’t hear you. Oh, it's because you’re dead!” Beyond tittered and shot the man in the head again. “You don’t get to tell me what to do with *my* boyfriend. So what if he's a bit fucked up in the head, aren't we fucking all!” Beyond giggled as he kicked the man over and admired the neat bullet hole between his eyes “I mean, *you* certainly are! Hahahaha!”

He snapped at anyone in the vicinity to clear up his mess and strode back into the bedroom. L was doing that weird staring thing again. 

“L”

L continued to stare blankly at the ceiling. What Beyond didn’t know, what L himself didn’t even know, was that he was reverting further and further into himself in an unconscious attempt to dissociate from his current situation. 

“L!”

Finally, L's eyes shifted towards him. 

“Hello, Beyond”

Beyond blinked. L's voice sounded calm, dream-like.

“... What's going on with you?”

L tilted his head and frowned, “I don’t know...”

‘I can’t risk him being sectioned. There will be too many questions asked. Fuck knows, I’ve spent the better part of ten years in and out of *those* places... I will just have to find him a psychiatrist and keep them here... And maybe not shot them if they piss me off...’

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really”

Beyond sighed. He loved his Lawliet dearly, but caring for him was starting to drag a bit. He wanted a bit of excitement. The hookers were boring and L was so out of it most of the time fucking him was like fucking a corpse. For all his pervasions necrophilia wasn’t really his pot of jam. 

He giggled at the euphemism. L ignored him. 

‘Asahi Suki can sort out that problem for me. The little bitch is desperate for it'

Beyond knew the Suki siblings were pretty much running Kanto by his grace. He could challenge them. He had the numbers and the experience, but for now he simply didn’t want to. They amused him and quite simply he wanted the boy Suki bent over his desk. That was motivation enough to leave them be (for the moment at least) 

He would have to find a shrink for L, and he was not looking forward to that. He didn’t trust those people. They'd called him a ‘disturbed psychopath' most of his life. Perhaps he was, but at least he admitted it. The crazy was just something he had learned to live with. It was not something Lawliet could live with. 

“Ugh, Maxie!”

The guard approached cautiously, face white. No one liked being summoned into Beyond's office these days. There was no guarantee you’d walk back out. 

“Yes, Beyond-Sama?”

“Find a decent shrink for L. Money isn’t a concern, but make it abundantly clear they will be working off the grid and will need to sign a non-disclosure before they start working with him. I won’t be involved with the therapy. I don’t even want to meet the shrink because I will probably end up shooting them again!”

Maxie bowed his head and scurried out of the office. He felt a deep pang of sympathy for anyone who had to work directly with L. Beyond had broke a guards hand yesterday for having the audacity to comb L's hair for him. He shivered and straightened his spine. He couldn’t let such things get to him. He’d survive Beyond, just like he had survived all the other Yakuza takeovers.  
At least, he *hoped* he would... 

************

Light and Naomi had managed to arrange to meet their friends and family. It had been the first time they had seen them in over three weeks.  
It was a risk, but it was a necessary one. They both needed a break from being Asahi and Kaho. They needed some normality. 

“Oh, darling!” Sachiko clung to her son, running her hands through his auburn hair and kissing his face. She had spent the last few weeks living on a knife edge, forever staring at her phone and expecting a phone call. 

“Mum, God, I’ve missed you” Light sighed, sinking into her embrace and just resting his head on her shoulder and just breathing her in. 

Naomi and Ray were embracing, tears in both of their eyes as they clung to each other. 

Matt, Mello and Anton sat together, each looking drawn and pale. L had been gone nearly a month and that month had not been kind to them. 

“Any news on how he is doing?” Matt cut straight to the chase as soon as everyone settled on the sofas and began pouring tea. 

“He is not doing well. I’ve had reports he is...” Naomi's shoulders slumped, “Pretty much insane. He's lost his mind in Beyond's grip. He is guarded night and day and is struggling to survive. We don’t have much time if we are to save him *and* his sanity”

“Oh fuck....” Mello whimpered. He couldn’t imagine L as anything less than the sharp tongued, quick witted person he was. To think of him as insane... He couldn’t bear it. 

“Beyond has contacted me. He wants to meet”

“He wants to sleep with you? With Asahi rather?” Anton asked, eyebrows rising with surprise. He still found it hard to believe how far Light was willing to go to get L back, like sleeping with the enemy. He admired him for it, because he honestly didn’t know if it was something he could do. 

“Yes” Light replied flatly. He was learning to tolerate Anton, but he knew a part of him would always struggle with the hot Russian guy. Mainly because he was just so perfect for L. He was sweet, kind, intelligent, hardworking, a demon in the sack and gorgeous. L had been smitten with him before he realised it was Light who possessed his heart. 

L had given all of that up for him. Sometimes he just couldn’t understand why. 

“The problem we have is that he wants to see Ashai alone” Naomi explained, “That obviously puts Light at a lot of risk...”

“But, it also gives me an opportunity to sneak around and gain his trust... If I can... Do whatever he wants, he might trust me enough to see me again. And then... The second time he wants to see me will be when I kill him. Before that happens we *must* prepare backup because I will be taking L with me.”

“Eh? But why can’t you just kill him this time?” Mello scowled. He wanted his friend back now dammit! 

“Because he won’t be alone this time. He fucks his toys in front of the guards if they’re new. I’m going to have to... do stuff with someone else in the room. I can’t move then, Mello, I will be killed on the spot. I need to gain Beyond's trust enough to get him alone. If I *do* luck out and manage to get him alone I will contact you tonight. I want this over and done with as soon as possible. L can't take much more and neither can Naomi and I”

Sachiko's stomach churned and she hung her head. The lengths her son was willing to go to... They filled her with both pride and dread. 

“He's asked to see me tonight. I am going, and that’s final” Light rounded up the conversation with an air of finality. When Mello opened his mouth Light shook his head “Non-negotiable. It's happening. I will get in touch with you as soon as it's over. If I don’t... I want you all to continue doing whatever you can to get L away from that fucking monster”

Naomi swallowed back her tears. Light *would* be back.  
Wouldn’t he? 

“I need to go and get ready, I have to meet him at the hotel in an hour” Light kissed his mother and walked out of the room, his heart aching as he thought about what he would have to do later... 

************

“Oh for god's sake!” Beyond snarled and slammed his fist into the desk. L flinched away from him and backed off. 

“What's wrong with you? Why are you broken? Huh? How do I fix you, L?!”

L stared at Beyond but offered no answers. He had no idea where the hell he was, so how was he to know why he was ‘broken?’ he did know he was waiting for someone. Had he broken while waiting? 

“I’m seeing someone tonight. I’m going to fuck his living daylights out! What do you think about *that*, L?!” Beyond screeched in his face. 

L raised an eyebrow slightly as if to say ‘And? I care... Why?’

Beyond heaved a sigh and slumped down at his desk. If L carried on this way... Surely it would be better for him to just put a bullet in his head and end it all? Wouldn’t that be for the best? It would ease L's suffering, even if it amplified his own. 

He'd thought he had his Lawli back. But no, he had ended up with this pale faced ghost instead. He was such a sad imitation of the spirited and arrogant Lawliet he had grown to love (read: become obsessed with) it was laughable. If he couldn’t get that Lawliet back then this one in front of him would have to be put down. 

It wasn’t fair on L to let him suffer the indignity of insanity. He couldn’t cope with it. They put dogs down when they were sick saying it was the ‘right' thing to do, and that it was ‘merciful’ didn’t they? 

Beyond toyed with his gun and flicked his gaze to L, staring at those lost grey eyes thoughtfully. 

‘Come on, L. Give me a sign you’re still there'

A knock on the door startled Beyond from his thoughts. He glanced at his Rolex and was surprised it was 8 pm already. That meant Asahi Suki was here to see him. 

It lifted his spirits a little and distracted him from his dilemma. He didn’t want to just kill L. Not without giving the shrink time to wave that magic want and make things better. 

If things didn’t improve in a month... Then he would end L's suffering. And possibly his own with it. 

‘Cyanide capsules. We can chew them together' Beyond smiled wistfully at that beautiful death. He could just picture it, L wrapped up in his arms, dark pills held between their teeth. He'd kiss L one last time and then make him bite down on his before he did the same... 

Beyond sighed in satisfaction and decided that was the way to go. If L didn’t improve they would both slip into sleep together. He didn’t want to live in a world without him. 

Mind made up, Beyond left L in the care of Maxie and Kenji and went to greet his guest. 

Asahi Suki looked absolutely flawless. Beyond smirked as he thought how it was only fitting someone as attractive as Suki should want him. He deserved only the best after all. 

‘The best is Lawliet and he doesn’t want you'

Beyond snarled at his thoughts. How dare they! Of course L wanted him! It wasn’t L's fault he was sick. It wasn’t his either. It just happened. 

Irritated his own good mood had been ruined by his stupid brain, Beyond plastered on a smile and sauntered over to Asahi. He would soon feel *much* better

“Beyond-Sama!”

Asahi's eyes lit up at the sight of him. They were dark, inky black and beguiling. Beyond just wished they were grey... 

“Asahi-San” Beyond smiled in return. What the was the point of using last names when he planned on having his cock in Asahi's mouth as soon as possible? How much more familiar could one get than that?!

“You looked tired, Beyond-Sama” Asahi cooed with concern, “Are you alright?”

“Hmm. Quite well. Looking after pets can be demanding”

Light forced his eyes to remain dark and sultry as he gazed up at the man he *would* kill. What did he mean? What was L enduring? 

“Oh? What pet? Are we talking an animal or human?” Light forced himself to utter Asahi's relaxed chuckle. 

Beyond's lips twitched in amusement. “The pet you were hired to kill. Has that contract been dealt with?”

‘L... You are more than some pet. You are everything. Shit. I can’t get emotional, not now!’

Asahi rubbed his eyes and mumbled an apology about allergies playing up. 

“Yeah, that has been dealt with” Asahi shrugged dismissively, “Anyway, enough about *that*...”

There were guards fucking everywhere. Beyond Birthday was one paranoid mother fucker. Even when Beyond led him through to his private rooms there were still guards. Less of them, but they remained present throughout Beyond's suite. Did the man just not want to be alone at all?!

Asahi flicked his eyes to the guards and raised an eyebrow expectedly. 

“Um, Beyond-Sama...?”

“Yes?”

Asahi flushed and gestured towards the men “Are we going to...”

Beyond rolled his eyes, “Obviously, yes. Is that an issue for you?”

Light heard a muffled yelp and knew it was L instantly. Could he do this? Could he persuade Beyond to be alone with him now? He wanted nothing more than to just shot him in his heart and grab L, even if the logical part of his brain reminded him he probably wouldn’t get more than five feet out the door before he was gunned down... 

“Well, yeah” Light interjected a bit of front into his tone, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting hearts and flowers... quite the opposite in fact, but I was expecting privacy, Beyond-Sama”

“Tch, can tell you haven’t been in this game very long, despite your big talk and your name. The reason I have guards around constantly is because many people want me dead. You could be one of them. Why should I trust you to have private access to me?”

Light snorted disdainfully, but inside he was floundering. What did he do now? What could he say to that?! 

He would have to take a leaf out of L's book and be bold. He summoned all the arrogance he could and abruptly walked to the door. 

“What do you think you are doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m leaving. I’m not down to fuck with those bunch of lechers perving. You may think it's *normal* to have guards around you 24/7 but it's really not, Beyond-Sama. In fact, it pretty much just shows how paranoid you are. Even my father doesn’t have guards in the bedroom when he's with the whore haram. Tch, excuse me I’d best be going”

Beyond gaped at him. 

Never in his life had he had someone turn their backs and walk away from him. It made him want Asahi even more. 

“Get back here, Brat, and you can have your damn privacy”

Light’s heart stopped. Fuck. How was he going to send the message out? He still had his phone... He could get Beyond in the mood then slip to the toilet to freshen up or something. 

He pivoted on his heel and shot Beyond a smouldering look. 

“Oh good. I’ve gotten what I want. I guess you are going to have to punish me for being such a demanding brat though... Beyond-Sama”

Beyond marched over to him and crushed him to his chest. Asahi let out a low moan as their mouths crashed against each others. He could feel how hard Beyond was... 

‘I need to pretend he is L, as difficult as that is going to be. I can do this. I have to do this!’ Light thought before slamming the doors shut on his mind and grabbing Beyond's hair. It was dark, nearly as dark as L's. 

“Feisty little brat” Beyond purred, “Don’t think even for one second you can top me”

Asahi let out a breathy giggle, “Wouldn’t dream of it, Beyond-Sama, however I should probably tell you I *am* a top. I’ve never been on the bottom before. I’ve never wanted to. Not until I saw you...”

Asahi cheered internally as he saw the lust in Beyond's eyes. He knew in that moment he had him. 

“So you're a virgin then, after a fashion?”

Asahi shrugged suggestively “For now. I suspect I won’t be for much longer?” He shot a lingering look at Beyond’s bedroom door and nipped at his lip playfully.  
Beyond grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the bedroom. L had shut up (probably doped up again) so he ordered his guards to leave his bedroom and shut the door behind them. 

“Now then, Virgin. Gun on the table. Keys. Whatever. Get naked”

Asahi smiled smugly and did as he asked, emptying his pockets and pulling his shirt over his head. His stomach churned. He could *feel* the heat of Beyond's gaze on his skin. 

He stripped fully, breathing deeply to calm his nerves until he stood naked in front of Beyond. His heart was banging away in his chest, but he covered it well enough so that Beyond merely turned he was turned on rather than afraid. Light even smirked and gazed at Beyond as he appraised his body. 

“Well?”

“Not bad...” Beyond circled him and pressed a deceitfully soft kiss to his neck. Light shuddered at the sensation and closed his eyes. 

“Lay down on the bed”

Light made sure to smile coyly and slink over to the bed like he was anxious for this encounter to happen...  
But he had never felt so afraid, nor so close to death, in his entire life... 

Beyond whipped his shirt off his head and stalked towards him.

“I am going to make you *scream* Asahi. Don’t worry, most of it will be in pleasure”

Asahi dropped his gaze to check out Beyond's pale, scarred chest. His lean muscles rippled as he moved. 

“Liiiiiiggghhhht!”

Asahi, Light, sucked in a breath. L! That was his L calling for him. 

“God fucking dammit. You, stay there. I need to settle my pet down”

Light watched Beyond flounce away and licked his lips. Now was his chance! He scrambled over to his phone and sent the coded message that would scramble the police to his current location. The entire operation to save L had been codenamed: Strong Heart. 

Now. A weapon... 

Perhaps it was testament to Beyond's arrogance or his vanity, but he had a cabinet filled with antique knives... Light calmed himself, aware his next actions may bring about his own end, and reached into the cabinet. He selected a wickedly sharp knife with an enamelled blade. Beyond had said leave his gun on the table, so he had. He wanted to stick a knife in the bastard anyway. Death by gunshot was too quick for him. Too noisy too. 

“L! Be quiet. Jesus, you’ve cut yourself to shreds!”

Light gulped and froze in uncertainty. His instincts were crying at him to go to L, but he knew he couldn’t. He could only tremble as he heard Beyond rage and snarl things that didn't make sense:He was going to put a bullet in him. He loved him. Hush now, L. Light is dead, he isn't looking for you. 

‘Insane. He is insane. No wonder L has followed suit. Oh my fucking god, L...’

“Dope him up! I don’t care if he has had a dose already, I’m killing him soon. Just keep him quiet until I’m done! NO! Don't you DARE HARM him!”

Light's fingers curled around the knife as he stashed it under the pillow. 

‘I will be killing you soon, Beyond Birthday’ 

Beyond stormed back into the room and Light shrank back, not in an act, but in genuine fear. Beyond looked *furious*

“Beyond-S-sama?”

“Shut up!” Beyond lurched towards him and Light flinched as he spotted the blood on his hands. L was quiet... Was that his blood? 

Light stiffened as he felt Beyond crawl over him and suck on his neck hungrily. Teeth bit into his neck and his heart hammered in fear.

‘Fuck, oh god, he’s hard. I can feel him'

Light's hands, Asahi's hands, scrambled for purchase and gripped Beyond’s shoulders. Beyond husked a laugh, his eyes tyrannical and blown wide with lust.  
Light *willed* himself to get hard, his mind swirling with hatred and fear as his body struggled to obey him.  
Beyond skimmed a hand down his chest and Light sucked in a breath. A finger caught his nipple and squeezed it harshly. 

“Haaaa!”

Beyond hooked one of Light's legs around his waist and ground down against his groin.

“Oh, oh *fuck*” Light panted. Despite everything lust sizzled through him. He could see why L had fallen for this darkly beautiful man. He exuded dominance and raw sexuality. 

Light heard the screech of tyres outside and his eyes flickered when Beyond wrapped his fingers around his cock. He was *throbbing* with need, adrenaline, fear and vengeance. 

“Oh, Beyond-Sama, let me suck you, please” Asahi moaned lewdly, arching his hips as Beyond stroked him. 

“Heh, bet you can’t wait for that, slut” Beyond flopped onto his back and kicked off his jeans. His cock sprang free and Light's mouth watered. 

He didn’t want to suck it though. He desired something else. 

He whipped himself down the bed, distracting Beyond with a wet, desperate kiss. Beyond never saw the flash of silver. 

“How do you want it, Beyond-Sama...?”

“Slow. Show me what that mouth can do. If your any good I might even consider keeping you on...”

‘Yeah, to replace one pet with another? Never!’

Light curled his fingers around the blade and tested his grip. He lapped at Beyond’s cock, from base to tip, and relished Beyond's groan of desire. He needed to get Beyond to a certain point. A helpless point where he was fully vulnerable. 

Then, and only then, would he strike... 

Light sucked the tip of the twitching cock inside his mouth. The tang of salt and musk made him want to gag. He had freaked out when he had done this to L, but now he was struggling to understand why. L had been gentle and concerned for him. L had tasted sweet where Beyond tasted of nothing but salt and sweat and death.

“Suck it, Bitch” a sharp tug to his hair. 

Light's eyes widened. His hair! His wig had *moved*  
“What the-”

He lurched upwards and brought the knife down with a sickening force into Beyond's abdoman. He yanked the blade, blood spurting out through parting skin and covering his face like warm rain. 

Beyond's mouth dropped open in surprise as Light lost himself in a frenzy. He slashed again and again, sobbing hysterically as he saw the blood pool onto the crisp white sheets. 

“I'm Light Yagami!” Light yanked his wig off and flung it to the floor “And I love L!”

“L...” Beyond rasped, his strength failing. 

Light ignored him and grabbed the softening cock in his hands with a vicious smirk. 

“You used this to violate him didn’t you? Well... I think I will do what my ‘sister’ did”

Beyond uttered a groan as Light pulled his cock taut and sliced through the top layers of skin.

Gunfire down the hallway... 

Light gritted his teeth and *growled* as he pulled the cock as far as it would go and hacked it off. 

“Gaaaahhhhhh!”

Light wiped his sweat slick hair out of his eyes and held up the dismembered organ before Beyond's wide, terrified eyes. 

“Was it worth it, Beyond? Was the horror you inflicted on him worth it? I'm *your* horror. I’m your fucking KARMA!” Light slashed into Beyond’s groin again, laughing and sobbing as a testicle was severed. 

“Just... Kill me...”

Light paused and smirked at the dying man.  
“Why should I grant you the mercy of a quick death, ‘Beyond-Sama’?” he tittered in Asahi's simpering voice. 

“Cos... I love him... I do love him...”

Light felt a fresh wave of tears fill his eyes. He swallowed thickly and yanked Beyond's head back.  
“Your love is fucking toxic, Beyond Birthday”

“It’s... Still...” Beyond wheezed for breath, his heart struggling to pump around whatever blood was left in his body. Light snarled and embedded the knife into his throat and yanked it across the pale white skin. He tried to ignore what Beyond's last word had been. 

It had been ‘Love’


	21. Freedom(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is finally freed from Beyond's control, but Light and Misora learn he has a long road ahead when he is sectioned... L begins the long road to recovery, Souichiro makes a breakthrough and Sachiko realises her son has finally grown up.

Light stared down at Beyond Birthday's glassy eyed death stare. 

He had just killed L's first love. His tormentor and captor...He didn’t feel a single ounce of guilt. 

“Hope you burn in hell you piece of shit” Light hissed. The gunfire was getting closer now and he needed to move. He slipped from the bloodied bed and chucked his clothes back on. L was somewhere to his left as far as he could tell, but he couldn’t risk calling out for him. 

Once dressed, Light rearmed himself and began testing the doors. All were locked. 

He strained to hear and cocked his head intently. He could hear frightened muffled voices!   
Light shot the lock without hesitation and kicked the door in. 

There, skeletally thin and visibly shaking, was the love of his life. Next to him was a slight, middle aged woman Light assumed to be his psychiatrist or minder. She flinched back from him when Light levelled a gun on or and ordered her not to move. She whimpered and babbled that she was just a Dr and she didn’t mean anyone harm. 

“L!” Light sobbed, lurching towards him to take him in his arms. 

L shrank away from him, eyes huge and terrified as he took in the blood-stained figure reaching for him. Light pulled back, horrified he had frightened L. 

“Baby, it's me. It's your Light” Light spoke in a soft, soothing tone. L peered up at him and hesitantly reached out. 

“Light?”

Light cringed at the broken rasp. 

“It's me, Baby, I’m here” Light tentatively held out his hand, as if he was encouraging a timid dog to come closer to him. 

“Beyond's gone. You don’t need to worry about him anymore, L, you’re free”

L appeared troubled at the words, his face twisting in confusion. What did Light mean Beyond was gone? Beyond couldn’t be gone, he was ever present. He still felt him now, in his mind and in his body. Why couldn’t Light understand that? 

“Light?! L?!”

L's head snapped up. “Naomi?!”

“L! Where are you, where are you?!”

Naomi was shrieking and running through the smoke, her eyes streaming with tears. She spotted them and sank to her knees before L. 

“It's okay, Love. We’ve got you. We are going to get you out of here, okay?” Naomi's soft voice and sincere eyes seemed to put L at ease, so Light hung back. He escorted the whimpering Dr out of the small room and handed her to Ray. 

“Cuff her. She will need to be interrogated”  
Ray nodded and lead the frightened woman away gently. They all knew she had probably been intimidated into working for Beyond, she would not be prosecuted. The fact she had tried to defend L would work in her favour as well. 

Naomi helped L to his feet and wrapped an arm around his waist. She tried not to weep openly at how frail and disorientated he was. She was just glad he seemed to know he was with friends and safe with her, even if he didn’t know much else.   
L seemed to splinter at the sight of all the dead guards around him. 

“Where is B?”

Light glanced at Naomi, for he really wasn’t sure if L was in the right state to even comprehend Beyond was dead. 

“Where is BEYOND?!”

Light flinched at the snarl. L seemed concerned about his welfare... ‘Stockholm syndrome?’ he wondered. Naomi caught L's attention by grabbing his shoulders and shaking him a little. 

“Listen to me. We are leaving. We are leaving *now*”

L nodded. That made sense. It was smoggy and he didn’t like it. Beyond would have to catch them up later... L frowned. No. That *didn’t* make sense. What was even happening to him? 

“Light! More's on the way” Ray called over his shoulder before diving behind a cabinet for cover. Light grabbed L and Naomi and shouted for cover as he dragged them through the smog. They passed Beyond's bedroom and L went deathly pale. It only took a glance to discern the man was dead. 

“B!” L panicked and tried to free his arm from Light's grasp. 

Light faltered. Between the smoke, the adrenaline and the sweat trickling into his eyes he didnt know what to do. Beyond's men were advancing on them now and one wrong move could cost them their lives. Now was not the time for L to be panicking! 

Naomi smashed the butt of her gun into L's temple and he crumpled to the floor like a leaf, consciousness leaving him immediately. 

“Get him out!” Naomi shoved L at Light and raced over to Ray. He was coming under heavy fire and needed backup critically. 

“Nomie” Light whispered, terrified she was going to get hurt. The odds were stalked against them and-

“Move!” Naomi shrieked as a bullet grazed her shoulder. She slumped back against the wall and whipped out a pressure bandage. 

Light tore his eyes away from her, flung L over his shoulder and fled... 

Time seemed to slow down as he ran through the carnage. Bullets flew past and the stench of blood filled the air. His heart thudded in his ears with each step he took. 

He burst out of the apartment and into the arms of his colleagues. 

He had made it. L was finally free! 

(3 weeks later...) 

L, however, was *not* free. 

Almost as soon as he had been taken down the station to give a statement it was decided for his own wellbeing and safety he was to be to be taken into a secure psychiatric unit. 

Light barely had the time to brush a kiss against L's cold, clammy forehead before he was whisked off once again. He was the state's captive now. Sectioned to protect both himself and the public. L Lawliet was diagnosed with suffering an extreme case of PTSD and *needed* expert care and rehabilitation. 

Light booked him into the best unit money could buy. He’d even sold his car to fund it (not that he would ever tell L that) Naomi, ever sharp Naomi, had noticed his lack of transport immediately and had clubbed together with the others to buy him a smart, second hand care. Light was beyond touched by the sweet gesture (and found he actually preferred his new old car) 

The unit had been expensive, but both Light and Naomi were convinced it was worth it. The rules of the unit were simple: no contact was to be made with the patient until 1.) They requested you to visit and 2.) The patient showed signs of marked improvement. 

The days drifted slowly by but Light did not receive his phone call. As the days become weeks he had to wonder If L was angry at him for killing Beyond Birthday. Had the red-eyed creep got that *deep* under L's skin? 

Had he lost his boyfriend forever? 

Naomi was his rock throughout the entire ordeal. L had requested her, kept asking for her alone and so she visited him daily. It stung that L did not want him or ask for him to visit, but at least he had daily updates from Naomi. Besides, L had not asked for the others too, and Light knew how dearly L loved his friends. Perhaps there was hope for them still? 

“He's very tired and confused, Light. One moment he cries and misses you, the next he curses you for killing Beyond. The medications he is taking is only now starting to kick in... He has a long road ahead of him”

Light sighed as he remembered Naomi's most recent report. She always visited L in the afternoon, and he figured he had another hour or so before she rang with her latest update. As always, he hoped for some good news, no matter how small it was. L had eaten a full meal earlier in the week, and that had been a triumph for them all. 

His mother smiled at him kindly and stroked his face. 

“He will come back to you, Light. He just needs time”

Light nodded and hung his head, tears threatening to fall. His father had paid them a visit that morning and had even enquired over L's health. Perhaps the country air was doing something to temper down the old man's bigotry, or maybe he was just starting to miss his family. Regardless of what it was, he was due to move back into the family home at the end of the week. 

Sachiko Yagami had been through hell and had reached out to her husband for support during Light's undercover operation. Light found he couldn’t hold that against her. Especially since Souichiro Yagami had swallowed his pride and profusely apologized to his son. Light had agreed to accept the apology, provided Souichiro himself underwent some therapy to address his homophobic views.

“You will be staying with us?”

Light smiled sadly at his mother and shook his head. He'd also sold his small apartment and was staying at L's currently. He reasoned he hated the place anyway and he wanted to be there for L when he was discharged. If L really hated him and didn’t want to live with him... Light sighed at the thought. Then he supposed he would just move back home for a while and find another apartment. 

“I hope when L is released I can stay with him, if not I will move back in till I find a new apartment” Light clarified to his mother, voice gentle but firm. He was a 24 year old man, and if meeting L had taught him anything it was the merit of independence. L had had to struggle his entire life to get where he had been, and Light decided he owed it to L to stand on his own two feet as well. 

Beyond Birthday had taught him it was time to grow up, be strong and value his life. 

His phone rang and Light snatched it up immediately. 

“Nomie? How is he-”

“He's asked for you, Light! Get your ass down here *now!*”

Sachiko could tell by the radiant smile on her sons face had had finally received the call he had Been waiting for. 

“Go to him, Darling, and give him my love” Sachiko pressed a soft kiss to her sons face, and let him go. 

Long after Light had sped out of the house she sat reflecting at the kitchen table. Her little boy was a man now, a man who was capable of making his own choices. He had risked his life repeatedly to save L. He would not be coming home again, she could sense that. 

Her child had finally flown the nest. 

Like countless mothers before her that realization filled her with both pride and sorrow... 

*************

L was having a good day, whatever one of those meant. He’d eaten, he’d showered and he’d had a breakthrough in his morning therapy session.   
Beyond Birthday was dead, and while it was okay to feel sorrow about it given their history, it was also a *good* thing Beyond had died. L thought back to the rapes and the abuse and felt his stomach churn. The laughter and the sweet moments mixed in until his feelings concerning Beyond Birthday were muddled and confused once again. 

Still, the kindly smiling nurse had informed Naomi, progress had been made. 

Naomi watched L as he stared out of the window. His face was blank, eyes shockingly devoid and empty. She wondered what it was he was thinking about and missed her vibrant, sassy friend. 

“Naomi, Beyond was going to kill me”

Naomi startled at the words. She reached for L's hand and held it in her own. 

“How do you know that, Love?”

L smiled thinly, “He told me. He wanted to kill me because I was ‘broken’ so decided he would die with me. I believe he had chosen cyanide capsules as the way to kill us...”

Naomi bit back a wave of revulsion. Never had she been so glad that sick bastard was six feet underground. 

“I... Understand why Light had to kill him. I just...” L shook his head, finding it difficult to explain. His feelings for Beyond Birthday were *not* healthy. No wonder he was locked up. 

“You had feelings for him. Some of them were reminents of the time you dated. Fond memories. I get that, L, I do. But most of them are the poison he's left behind and infected you with. That is why you are here, getting help. Light has been waiting anxiously for you to ask to see him...”

L withdrew his hand and plucked at his hoodie in irritation. 

Naomi snapped her mouth shut. Had she said too much? She was trying not to push. If L was getting annoyed it meant he was getting defensive. She didn’t want that. 

“I’m afraid to see him again” L finally admit, eyes lost as he once again focused his attention on the window. 

“Why, Love?” Naomi whispered, her heart breaking at the admission. 

“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”  
Naomi burst into tears, even as a bark of laughter left her throat. 

“Oh, you fucking *idiot* that man fucking ADORES you! He will want you till the end of time, you melodramatic asshole”

The corners of L's mouth twitched and he turned his head, a flash of his old humour in his eyes. 

“You're such a bitch” L whispered. 

“I'm *your* bitch” Naomi stipulated, reaching for L's hand and squeezing it tightly. 

This time L didn’t pull away. 

A soft knock at the door sounded and Naomi slipped of the bed to answer it. She cast a look over her shoulder and saw how anxious L suddenly appeared. 

“Can I let him in?”

L slowly nodded his head. At least he would be able to see for himself if Naomi was lying to spare his feelings. He would be able to tell with just one look into Light's eyes. 

Light entered the room, laden with flowers and a big box of L's favourite truffles. 

L took his look then burst into tears at the sheer love and adoration he found reflected in Light's tear filled eyes. 

“L! Oh god, look at you!” Light rushed towards him then pulled back, remembering how he had frightened him the last time he’d seen him. L smiled at him and yanked him down by the collar.   
Light felt he had died and gone to heaven as he felt those chapped lips press against his own. 

“You love me” L confirmed with a shaky smile “You saved me because you love me”

“Yes!” Light sighed, pulling his lips from L's and burying his face in that tangled mess of hair, “I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you...”

Naomi quietly slipped from the room, tears in her eyes at their reunion and Light's declarations of love. Obviously she didn’t want any of them seeing her crying like a bitch over it (when L was better he would tease her to no end) so went to fetch them some coffees. 

Once Light had finished covering L's face with kisses he sat next to him and held his hand. He had wanted to say so much, but now that he was here he couldn’t seem to find the words. 

It was nice to just sit and hold his hand, breath in the same air as him, Light decided. When it was time for words hopefully they would find them.   
A nurse came in with a small smile and a pot of medication. L grimaced but took them anyway. 

“Goodness, what a handsome pair you make” The nurse smiled, “You never told me you had quite the dishy boyfriend, L!”

Light smiled at the nurse's attempt. She was a soothing, jovial presence. It was obvious she put L at ease. 

“Eyes off, Margie” L muttered in a deadpan tone of voice. The nurse giggled and gave Light an approving nod. Laughter really was the best medicine as far as some things went, hearing L laugh was encouraging indeed. 

“I will leave you to it, see you later, boys” Margie left with a twinkle in her eye to continue her meds round. 

L picked up the bouquet of beautiful Peonies and Chrysanthemums. Neither of them mentioned the old joke about roses. 

“They are stunning, Light. Thank you”

“L...are you alright?”

L considered that question as he trailed a fingertip over the delicate petals. 

“I...I'm okay now. Will you visit me everyday too?”

“Every single day” Light promised. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to L's cheek “I’m never going to abandon you, L, I am never giving up on us. You concentrate on getting better so you can come home to me”

L nodded his head and inhaled the sweet scent of flowers. By the time Naomi arrived with coffee Light and L were sat side by side holding hands, their heads bent close to each other as they admired the flowers. 

“Things okay?” Naomi looked between them, hoping with her whole heart the answer was yes. She had seen several of L's meltdowns by now and they weren’t pretty. She would need to find the time to sit Light down and share her extensive research into PTSD rehabilitation. 

“Things are okay. They will be okay” Light answered for both of them. 

L continued to stare at the flowers and his heart stopped for a moment. The florist had included a single red rose, just like the ones Beyond had always used to give him. 

Just like the one Beyond had nearly killed him with. 

Light frowned at L's wide-eyed look of horror and gasped as he spotted the rose. He had specified no fucking roses! He had made that clear! 

Naomi spotted the problem and delicately yanked the rose from the bouquet. L and Light watched her as she strode over to the bin and chucked it in. 

“Things *will* be okay” Naomi repeated firmly.


	22. Mosaic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been three months since Beyond Birthday’s death and L is slowly healing. With his discharge date soon approaching L reflects on the pieces of his life so far. His discharge day arrives and L finally understands what freedom really is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the gang being adults and getting over shit. 
> 
> Awwwww ❤

A Letter to Light: About Beyond Birthday. 

I know I get to see you everyday but writing these letters back and forth really does help and the Therapists encourage I keep doing this. It is helping me to sort out my feelings and piece things back together, almost like a Mosaic. I suppose there are just some things it is hard to talk about face to face and these letters to you help with that. I hope you are still reading them (I am still reading your therapy journal and I am so very, very proud of you, Light!) 

You asked me today why I still had (have?) feelings for Beyond. I hope this letter will explain to you in words what I cannot say to your face.  
The reason I still have feelings for the one who attempted to kill me, abducted, raped and abused me is because he was my first love, and no matter what happens in ones life or how they move on, it is impossible to forget your first love. Even if they have dragged you through Hell and back.

You told me *I* am your first love, and I am both pleased and sad about that. Pleased because no matter what I will always posses a place in your heart, and saddened because you will never truly understand what it feels like to love and lose someone for the very first time (because being your first love myself, that would be a lesson only I could teach you, and I could never do that) 

Anyway. 

When we met I had just turned 19 and was struggling to survive. I was flat sharing in a squalid little flat in London, working two jobs and studying Criminology and Forensics. I was exhausted, mentally and physically at that point. Then in walks Beyond Birthday, my knight in shining armour (shining tin foil, I guess haha)  
He just made everything seem brighter. He was 22 and had already graduated. He was intrested in Egyptology and I just found him so fascinating.

He had his whole life mapped out. He wanted to find forgotten tombs and travel the world... Becoming a murderer and a member of the Yakuza was not the dream for the Beyond I knew and fell in love with.

He helped me in a thousand little ways. Made sure I had food, cooked me meals, he even paid my overdue rent when we were due to be evicted. I had always protested I wasn’t interested in his money (and I wasn’t) but he waved my concerns aside. 

We fell in love and he asked me to move in with him. Obviously I said yes. Life was good, at first.  
We would spend hours just kissing each other, and whole days binging on boxsets eating takeout’s. He introduced me to so many new things! I *flourished* in those first few years we had together. 

For my 21st Birthday Beyond took me to Egypt. There is *nothing* as magical as sitting up top a pyramid, drinking wine and staring up at the stars. 

I thought in that moment I had met the love of my life. The universe felt so huge and frightening but I had Beyond and he was all I needed.  
I suppose that way of thinking was what first masked the realization things were going wrong. When I turned 22 my assets were unfrozen and I was promoted. I don’t think Beyond liked this newfound independence of mine. I still adored him and loved him dearly, but I no longer needed to rely on him. 

At first the changes were subtle. He was moody, aggressive and jealous. I chalked it down to the long hours I was putting in and tried to reassure him everything was alright. Then, one night he snapped when I came home from work at 3 am. He accused me of cheating, screamed at me that I was a whore.. 

That was the first time he hit me. 

I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there until he told me to come to bed. He apologized and said he was tired. I went to sleep and the next day it was just swept under the rug.  
Until it happened again. 

And again. 

Things got so bad towards the end I couldn’t go out and see my friends. I stayed at home and just... Lived under his rule I suppose. Things are very blurry from this part of my life. I do know I spent a year doing whatever he wanted and just existing for him. 

It was only when he attempted to rape me that something finally snapped and I realised I had to retaliate. I didn’t know it at the time, but Beyond had been diagnosed years ago with schizophrenia. He had sought help in the first years we were together. I can only speculate he stopped taking his medication or something happened to throw him off course. 

The Beyond I left was *nothing* like the Beyond I had found. 

I had loved the first Beyond. I love him still. 

What I must realize is that they are not separate people. I believe I will always love and hate him in equal measure. If I could turn off my heart to him, for sanity’s sake I would. Sadly the human heart and mind just do not work that way. 

I do not mean to upset you by writing that. I love you completely, Light. I feel a connection to you I did not feel with Beyond, even in those early golden days. 

I feel in you I have found an equal. You have pieced me together, even though you yourself need piecing together. We can help each other with that. 

I will be home soon. 

Never lie to yourself or me again, Light, and I know we can live a happy life together. 

All my love, 

L. 

 

Light hastily wiped his eyes as tears threatened to fall and stain the paper. L's latest letter was like a bullet to the heart. 

He understood, at last, just why L had mourned Beyond's Death. Why he still mourned him.  
L was mourning his first love. 

“I am his second, but I will be his last too” Light whispered to himself. He would piece L back together. L would be a beautiful monochrome mosaic again. 

He carefully folded the letter and placed it alongside the others in the bedside cabinet.  
L was due to be released, pending on progress and test results, in just four days time. 

Light lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Four days. 

Just four days until his L was home once again.  
His own therapy sessions had been going that well he was eager to consummate his relationship with L. He was *ready* for it now.  
The problem was, L was not. 

He had been raped, the damage inflicted and the scars that had caused, both physical and mental, would take time to heal. To be violated that way was something Light could not even begin to fathom. He had decided if L wanted a purely celibate relationship then he would accept it. He would accept anything as long as he got to go to sleep and wake up with L. 

Light closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, L's words echoing through his mind. 

He dreamt of a beautiful Mosaic, shattered and then pieced back together again. 

************

L Lawliet was officially deemed fit and healthy and of sound mind. 

He was discharged from the secure unit he had spent the better part of 3 months living in.  
As he stared out of the window he was struck by the change of the season. A cold Autumn wind tossed around the crisp dead leaves. 

It had been summer when he was last free. He'd lost so much time while trying to find himself.  
He took a deep breath and finished packing his belongings. Somehow he had survived Beyond. His heart and mind had survived, not unscathed, but whole nonetheless. 

‘Light will be here soon. I can’t wait to go home with him. To have someone to go home too...’

“Lawliet-San, would you mind signing these discharge papers?”

L smiled at Angie. She had truely been a godsend and had actually made his stay here bearable. He signed the papers and shyly handed her a card and a bouquet of lillies he’d asked Naomi to pick up. 

“For me?” the nurse seemed genuinely touched as she smiled tearfully at the card and flowers. 

“Really don’t think I would be leaving today if it wasn’t for you, Angie-San... Thank you for putting up with my mood swings and making me see sense”

Angie smiled and dipped her head. 

“I am so happy you are ready to go, L. I will miss you, of course, but I also hope I don’t see you here again”

L grinned. That made two of them. 

Angie bowed her head once again and thanked him for the flowers and card. She practically skipped off, and L reflected that simple act of gratitude on his behalf had probably made the nurses day. 

Light arrived armed with yet another bouquet of flowers and a stomach- flipping smile. 

“L!” Light rushed to greet him, “I’m so happy!”

“Me too” L looked around the room. It felt monumental to know he was leaving this place. Light was beckoning him forward, so L stepped away from the past and into the future. 

He closed his eyes in happiness as Light pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. He surprised Light by deepening the kiss, hands tangling in Light's hair as their lips parted and tongues explored each other’s mouths gently. Light dropped L's suitcase and folded his arms around him. L pressed closer and sighed into the kiss when Light tilted his jaw to kiss him deeper still. 

When they parted both were flushed and breathing heavily. 

“You once promised me you would wait forever for me. You were willing to have a celibate relationship with me. I am willing to do the same for you, L” Light promised, dropping one last kiss against those sweet lips, “I will not push you into anything I promise”

L smiled and laid his head on Light’s shoulder. How ironic was it Light had finally accepted his sexuality and was ready to sleep with him when the very thought of that now terrified him. 

‘Still, we can kiss. That is something. That is everything’ 

L turned Light’s face back to him and kissed him again, pushing all of his soul into it. Light pressed as close as he could until he felt a warmth tingling in his groin. Reluctantly he pulled away. At L's hurt look of confusion he blushingly admitted the kiss was making him hard. 

L flushed and looked down. He wasn’t even capable of that due to the vast amount of medication he was still taking. 

Light seemed to be able to read his thoughts and cupped his jaw, fingers stroking his cheek tenderly. 

“There is no rush, L. Come on, let's get you home, yeah?”

L nodded and hand clasped, they walked out into the weak Autumn sunshine together. L breathed in the fresh air and smiled up at the pale blue sky. Now he was finally free to rebuild his life.  
Beyond Birthday could never come for him again. It was like a shackle he had been dragging around with him was suddenly removed. The shock of freedom moved him to tears. 

“L, Babe, what is it?” Light fretted when he noticed the silent tears running down L's pale face. 

“I just realised I am finally free” L smiled crookedly, “It’s a heady feeling”

Light squeezed his hand and waited patiently for L to soak in the feeling of freedom while he admired the way the wind whipped L's dark hair and made it dance and sway in the breeze. The sunlight kissed his skin and gave it a soft rosy glow. 

L had never looked so beautiful to him than in this moment when he had discovered his freedom. He locked the memory away in his heart to treasure it forever. 

“I can’t wait to see Anton, Mello and Matt!” L tugged Light onwards towards his car. He paused as he glanced around. Where was Light's car? 

“This one is mine” Light pointed towards the sleek silver number. It was nice, but L frowned in confusion. Light’s car had been his baby, why would he sell it and replace it with a cheaper model? 

“Nice, isn’t it? Far more practical too” Light covered smoothly, “The old one guzzled fuel”  
Unconvinced but not wanting to cause a scene, L made a mental note to find out exactly why Light had sold his car. 

His medical fees had been taken from his own bank account... Hadn’t they? 

If Light had paid for them... L felt his heart clench. That was just proof of how dear he was to him, and as touching as it was, L would ensure he was paid every single penny back. 

AND he would buy Light a new car. 

 

************

“Light's text! They’re on their way. Right, Mello, don’t offer L alcoholic drinks this time, we’re all on soft drinks only! Matt, get the cake ready. Anton, Fenz start blowing up the balloons. Ray, I need you to help me set up the buffet”

All present hurried to obey Naomi as she dictated the party plans. Cards, flowers and candy hampers lay waiting on L's coffee table and they had all spent most of the day ensuring L's apartment was spotlessly clean and welcoming. 

Anton grinned at his boyfriend and pulled him into a kiss. Alexi Fenzini was an Italian, and with his dark hair and dark eyes did, at first glance, remind people of L. 

But Alexi was quiet and sensitive where L was brash and opinionated, however he did share L's awkward and sweet nature. Naomi had known at once he and Anton were just meant to be together. They were sickeningly sweet together, forever cooing over one another or talking proudly about their partner. 

Still, Alexi hadn’t met L, and he couldn’t help but feel anxious about his lover's old flame returning. What if Anton decided he was suddenly not good enough? He’d heard how witty and enthralling L was... 

“Hey, don’t start fretting about that, Alexi. L is just a friend now, and he is very much in love with Light. I think he will be overjoyed to meet you. Even when we split up and we were both upset about it he stated he wanted to see me happy with someone else... And now I am”

Alexi let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding and smiled sweetly at his boyfriend. Suddenly he was not so nervous to meet L Lawliet. 

“Shit! That's Light’s car!” Mello flapped as he pointed towards the window. 

“Fuck! They’ve left early!”

It was a mad panic, but they had finished setting up with just seconds to spare as they heard L and Light walk towards the apartment. 

“Light, I can’t believe you told her that. God, I’m so nervous about meeting her now...”

“She will love you, L, how could she not?” Light returned as he opened the door. He grinned as L's jaw dropped. 

“Welcome home, L!”

“My, this feels like Deja Vu” L deadpanned before his face broke out into a smile. 

Mello squealed and rushed to him. L opened his arms and kissed his friend's stylishly cut blonde hair. 

“Mels, fuck I’ve missed you. Your wearing neon beige too!”

Mello giggled and placed a wet kiss to either side of L's face. 

“You look so well, L! Heh, that rhymed!”

L huffed and shoved past Mello with a small smile. He greeted Matt with warm hug and Ray with a polite handshake. Ray surprised him by pulling him into a brief, stiff and rather manly embrace. 

“Good to see you again, L”

“You too. Thank you for what you did”

Ray dipped his head. Both he and Naomi had taken bullets for L, and they would both do it again. 

“It was my honor and pleasure to free you. Besides, if I hadn’t have helped out the misses would have had my balls”

“Who're you calling ‘The Misses'” Naomi scoffed. She swept past Ray with a naughty smile that told him he would be in trouble later (which he was very pleased to know) and gave L her embrace. 

Light hung back and watched L's friends rally around him. He spotted Anton's new beau and watched with intrested as L approached them. He couldn’t stop the spark of irritation that flared up as L smiled at the Russian and hugged him. 

“Oh, who are you?” L looked between Anton and the slight Italian man, “Ant, aren’t you going to Introduce us?”

“Of course, L this is Alexi Fenzini, Alexi this is L Lawliet”

L and Alexi smiled awkwardly at each other. 

“I'm so glad... You're happy again” L said slowly, “I... Um, still can’t help but feel guilty that I fell in love with Light when we were together” 

Light promptly strode over and wrapped an arm around L's waist, polite smile fixed firmly in place.

“Well we are *very* happy together” Alexi replied pointedly. 

“...Good. I am glad of that. Anton deserves to be happy. I am aware this must be awkward for you, Alexi, but you can stop the attitude. I’m not interested in Ant that way anymore. I have my Light” 

Light preened and pressed a kiss against L's face smugly. 

Alexi seemed to deflate slightly at the rebuke and flushed. Anton squeezed his shoulder in sympathy. 

“Sorry. I can be a bitch, Massacre there taught me well. I *am* overjoyed that you and Ant have found happiness together, Alexi. Shall we get a drink and you can tell me all about Italy? I’ve always wanted to see a bit more of it. I’ve only ever spent a weekend in Rome. Oh my god, Rome! What an expensive place! And the parking!”

Light and Anton shared a tentative smile as L babbled on about why Rome sucked to a grinning Italian. 

“That’s our L” Anton shook his head fondly. 

‘Yes it is' Light thought, eyes softening as he watched the happy scene of reunion in front of him. 

The pieces of the Mosaic of L's life were finally fitting together again.


	23. Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are both shaken by a confusing act of intimacy. L seeks counselling and Light and L settle into Domesticity once again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff, hurt/comfort and fluffiness is strong in this chapter! ❤

After the party finished and their friends went home L fell asleep on the sofa. Obviously the day had been tiring for him and with all of his medication Light figured he would have to endure a permanently sleepy L until he was gradually weaned off the antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. 

“L, Baby, think you can get up and come to bed?”

L had barely opened his eyes before he mumbled, “Yes, Master”

The blood froze in Light’s veins at that automatic response. L thought he was back *there* with *him*

“No, Baby, no need for that. It's me, Your Light. You’re free. It's okay” he soothed gently. 

L rubbed his eyes and stared at him. Recognition dawned in his eyes. 

“Light!” 

The word was breathed out so reverently it made a lump catch in Light’s throat. 

“Oh, God, I thought...” L shook his head as if to dispel his dreams, “I’m sorry”

Light gently pressed a kiss to L's forehead, “Don't apologize, it will take time but it *will* be okay, I promise”

Light helped L up from the sofa and looped an arm around his waist. L had forewarned him weeks ago his night medication made him drowsy and wobbly on his feet, but this was his first time actually experiencing its effects. 

Light patiently helped L to get into the bedroom and laid his baggy sleepwear on the bed before turning his back. 

L blinked at him in confusion. He didn’t fear Light’s eyes on him. He didn’t fear Light at all. He sighed and got changed. Once they had used the bathroom and brushed their teeth L surprised Light by pulling him into bed with him. 

“I was going to make a pallet up on the floor next to you” Light admitted, even though he was delighted at L's acceptance of his proximity. Both his mother and Naomi had forewarned him L might not tolerate it. 

“No, I need you with me” L mumbled into the pillow, “Don't leave me, Light. Not again”

Light swallowed thickly. Guilt hit him like a freight train. The reason Beyond had been able to abduct L in the first place was because he had freaked out and left L. That would never happen again. He slid into the cool sheets and wrapped his arms around L. 

‘Fuck, he's so skinny. I can feel every bone...’ 

Light made a mental note to make sure L ate more and cuddled him close, holding him securely but with a mindfulness that L was far more fragile than he was. He held him as though he was made of glass, and just the slightest press could make him shatter. 

“When did you realize you loved me?”

The soft whisper in the dark pulled Light away from his thoughts. 

“I knew I loved you the second I looked into your eyes in Kitamura's office. I thought you were an obnoxious, strange foreign weirdo... But my heart knew it was yours then, even if my *mind* didn’t. I thought your eyes were beguiling. I could barely look away”

L hummed sleepily into Light's shoulder. 

“Love you... Loved you... When...” 

Light smiled softly and stroked L's hair back from his face. L had finished that sentence with a snore so supposed he would just have to find out another time when L first realised he loved him. He closed his eyes and breathed in the soft, clean linen scent that lingered on L. Sleep found him easily for the first time in weeks... 

Light startled awake some time later to L mumbling and thrashing in his arms. 

He peered down at L's face and noted how pale and clammy he was. He was in the grip of a nightmare. 

Light stroked L's face and shook his shoulder, willing L to leave his nightmare where he was hurt and abused and wake up to his reality where he was loved and cherished. 

L's eyes snapped open instantly and he kicked Light straight in the groin as he lashed out in terror and confusion. 

Light whined, body curling in agony as L struggled for breath and stared at him through wide, unseeing eyes. 

“God... Damn... Fuck!” Light whimpered, his eyes watering at the pain. L kicked like a fucking mule!

L came back to himself and stared at Light in mute horror. He felt a wave of guilt and revulsion as he watched Light's face twist in pain. At once a mist seemed to fall over his senses. He needed to apologize! He had to apologize or he would be hurt! he dived under the covers and removed Light's hands from their protective curl around his throbbing balls. 

“L” Light squealed, a thrill of pleasure at L being so close to him *there* racing through him despite the pain. 

L ignored him and yanked Light's pyjama pants down in one smooth tug, exposing his flaccid cock and balls. 

L lapped at his cock and closed his eyes, giving himself completely to the task of making Light feel better. 

Light let out a shuddering sigh beneath him and unconsciously spread his legs. He knew this was not a good idea, but his body had decided it knew what was best, and his brain had taken a back seat. Having L's licking, sucking mouth on his cock whited out his thoughts entirely.

L drew the stirring cock into his mouth and sucked on it, mind shutting down as he focused on this familiar task. He did everything Beyond had wanted him to do, until Light was panting his name and clutching at his hair with gentle, tugging fingers. 

L knew he was good at this. He knew because Beyond had told him often enough. He hummed around Light's cock and tongued the slit, accepting Light's cock as it bumped deeper down his throat. He didn’t even gag anymore. 

“L, Baby, oh, oh fuck!” Light gasped, hips arching to get himself as deep as he could go. L sucked him in greedily and Light cried out as spurts of precome dribbled out of him. He was so close! The pain in his balls had faded to a dull ache and now all he could think about was fucking L's mouth till he came. It was so hot and wet and L was practically *moaning* for him to fuck deeper... 

L began to Bob his head and Light hissed through his teeth. 

‘Fuckfuckfuck! He’s going to make me come, oh god, this is amazing, fuck! I'm-'

Light’s thoughts splintered apart as he bellowed out his completion, balls throbbing with pleasure as he bucked into L's mouth and shot jet after jet of come down his throat. L swallowed it all, making hungry little noises in the back of his throat each time he swallowed a mouthful.   
Finally, Light slumped back against the bed, breathing raggedly and trying to bring himself back down to Earth. He had never came so hard in his life and he had *never* felt like that with Kiyomi. 

L shuffled back up to him and stared down at him with dark, mournful eyes. Neither knew what to say as they stared at each other in the dim light. L slumped onto his chest, tucked his head under his chin and breathed in his scent. 

It was only hours later after L had fallen asleep once again did the question hit Light.

Had L associated oral sex with an apology? 

Hadn’t L told him Beyond had made him suck off him for any transgression at all?! 

Was Beyond’s grip on him just as strong as ever and had he *let* it happen? He'd been so blind sighted by his lust he hadn't even been able to think properly... 

“Shit” Light swore softly. L snored contentedly into his chest and Light wrapped his arms around him, body shaking as he tried to fathom what the fuck had happened that night. 

Had L done that because he wanted to? Or was it some kind of automatic response? Would L even remember he had done it in the morning...?

Light settled back into an uneasy sleep, mind churning with questions... 

*************

L stared down at Light and gently traced patterns into his chest with a fingertip. 

He was dreading when Light finally woke up, because that meant they would have to talk about what had happened. He'd freaked out, lashed out and sucked Beyond's cock in apology. 

Except Beyond was dead, and he was with Light. In the cold light of day L was horrified at what had happened. He couldn’t blame Light for letting it happen either! L could scarcely believe he had done that. He had felt so guilty for hurting Light he had just automatically apologized in the only way he had been used to apologizing the last few weeks. Light had seemed to enjoy it, but L had not asked his permission, nor had he gained his consent... 

“L?”

L cringed at the sleepy murmur. He must have pressed too hard with his fingertips. Sleepy amber eyes blinked open and settled on him. 

“I’m sorry” L whispered, tears springing to his eyes, “I wasn’t thinking and I hurt you... I think I just wanted to make you feel better before... Something just snapped. Please don’t hate me”

Light let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding in. He pulled L against him kissed his hair. 

“Did you know what you were doing?”

L nodded minutely against his chest. 

“Did you enjoy doing it?”

Another small nod. 

“Did you... Realize who I was?”

L lifted his face and frowned at him. He thought he did. In fact, he was sure he did... But... Did he really? Light wouldn’t have expected him to suck him off in apology. Why had he just automatically done that?! 

L's face crumpled as he acknowledged just how fucked up he really was. 

“Hush, Babe, it's okay” Light soothed, “We will get you help, okay? We will work through this together”

L broke into sobs and clutched at Light. Light held him back, hands drifting up and down his back in soothing patterns.

“It felt good. It felt incredible. But I want you to only do that when you absolutely want to, L” Light clarified gently, “I was as much to blame... No, I was to blame. You didn’t know what you were really doing. You panicked and thought I was him.”

L shivered and wished he could crawl into Light's skin somehow. Even on top of him with his hands on his back and breath in his ear he felt the overwhelming need to get *closer*

“You didn’t freak out” L mumbled after a few moments of quiet reflection. 

Light husked a laugh, “I did, but not because of what happened. Not because of who you were. I’ve accepted who I am now, L. I want you more than anything, but this... This can’t happen again. Not until you are fully healed”

L knew that made sense, but how were they to prevent it from happening? 

“We will get you the help you need and in the meantime maybe we could... Sleep in separate beds? Not in different rooms!” Light was quick to add when he saw L's pout of displeasure, “We can sleep right next to each other, but with enough gap between us so we can both have a bit of space to wake up and calm down if... Stuff happens again”

L sighed slowly. They both knew ‘stuff’ would happen again. 

“And then, one day, when you are ready... *if* you are ready, we will sleep in the same bed. And we can...” Light trailed off, imagining how wonderful it would be to make love to L. 

L seemed to discern what he was thinking about. His cheeks flushed as he nodded his head. Light's idea made sense. Perhaps it was time to focus on learning to *live* together rather than how to sleep together first... 

***************

The next day L grudgingly ordered two single beds as Light prepared breakfast. He booked himself in for some counselling at the same clinic Light attended then took the opportunity to try and do some snooping. He soon discovered two very important things Light had been keeping from him. 

The first was that he *had* sold his car to pay his medical fees and the second, more worrying bit of information, was that he had also sold his apartment. A quick Google search was all L needed to do to learn that fact. 

“Light” L called, “A word. *Now*”

Light gulped as he plated up L's eggs benedict and trudged back into the bedroom. He had hoped L would have taken a bit longer to find out than this but he was hardly surprised. His lover was as sharp as a knife. 

“Why?” L asked simply. 

“Because none of us had access to your bank account and you needed help then and there... And I would give up anything for you, L. Anything at all...”

L softened. How could he possibly be mad at such a thoughtful, selfless action? 

“I am paying you back, Light. I appreciate what you did. Fuck, I *love* you even more for what you did, but I will pay you back. And with interest. Does numerous kisses sound reasonable to you? I’m pretty good at massage too...” L added temptingly. 

Light brightened. He wasn’t interested in L paying him back, what he was interested in was hearing L say he loved him. That was truly priceless. 

“Well, I think those terms are agreeable. I’d like to cash in one of those kisses now please”

L grinned at Light and hoped off the bed. Light barely had time to place the breakfast tray on the bedside table before he had an armful of L and a mouthful of L's tongue. He wrapped his arms around L's waist and kissed him back intensely, one hand dipping to the small of his back while the other fastened in his hair. 

When Light felt the hot throb of arousal he pulled away, a thin trail of saliva connecting their panting mouths.

“L, you are so beautiful” Light moaned, wishing he could just kiss L senseless without having to pull back. 

‘One day' he comforted himself. 

L tangled a strand of Auburn hair around a finger and let it go, smiling as it fell perfectly against Light's face. 

“You are the beautiful one, Light” L murmured, eyes lost and thoughtful as he toyed with Light's hair. 

“Breakfast. It's getting cold and you need to eat more” Light said softly but with a hint of authority in his voice that L took to heart. 

They ate breakfast and listened to the shrill calls of the song birds on the wind. Light remembered L saying Autumn was his favourite season. Perhaps L would want to go out for a walk or something if he was feeling strong enough later?

“Thank you, Light. That was nice” L pushed his half-eaten food away. Light bit his tongue. It was just another thing he would have to be patient with. The nurses had said L wasn’t eating enough but his intake *was* slowly improving. 

“Good! I’m going to make you breakfast in bed everyday” Light informed, “Just let me know if I’m smothering you too much or being annoying, okay?”

L smirked at that. They both knew he would have no problem with speaking his mind as far as that went. 

They settled into a simple domestic routine. 

Light clean the kitchen while L had a shower. Together they tidied the lounge and went through L's back log of mail. 

L frowned at one envelope. It was addressed from Winchester. 

“Quillish?” Light guessed. 

“Hmm. Wonder what he wants...?” L sighed as he opened the letter. He skim read it and handed it to Light. 

“He wants you to visit him? Why?”

L sighed again. “Because he is *dying* Light. He has bowel cancer” he tapped at the bottom paragraph. 

“Oh... Well... That's shit” Light mumbled awkwardly, “I mean, you can’t really go now, can you?”

L shook his head and sipped at his coffee. He gazed out the window as he considered when he would be able to go and visit his Grandfather. He didn’t want to leave it too late. They needed closure before he died and despite everything L still cared for the man. He wanted to see him before he went. 

“Would you come with me?” L asked softly, “In a few weeks once things are settled of course...”

“Yes. I’ve taken a leave of absence from work until your fit to come back anyway” Light shrugged, “And I would love to see your home country... Can’t say I am feeling overly sympathetic for Quillish though. I know he's dying now but he’s treated you like dirt, L...”

L smiled and took Light's hand in his. In some ways Light was still very young and naive. He had yet to learn that even if people treated you like dirt you would still care for them and love them because you just couldn’t help it. The human heart just worked that way. Light would learn that, in time. 

“He said he has been given six months or so by his doctors. I will write back and tell him we will arrive in a month or something” L yawned loudly, just as his alarm went off on his phone. 

Time for more meds. 

Light pressed a kiss to his cheek and went to fetch L his meds while L returned his attention to the leaves fluttering to the ground outside the small window. 

‘Quillish is dying... I have no idea how I should feel about that. Sad? Relieved? Maybe both. Quillish and Beyond are... Were... My last ties to England. I think I will visit home one last time and say my goodbyes to them both properly. It might help me move on with Light'

Mind made up, L grabbed a pad of paper and began writing his reply. He smiled as Light popped his pills into his mouth, one after the other and held a glass of juice to his lips. 

“I much prefer *you* to those other nurses” L teased once all his medication had been taken. 

“I can be your own personal nurse, L. All I want in payment is kisses. And plenty of them”

L couldn’t stop himself from kissing the adorable idiot. He breathed in the sweet scent of mint toothpaste and sincerity and felt his heart clench in his chest. 

He had never loved someone as much as he loved Light Yagami. 

“And a car” L pulled his laptop to him and passed it to Light, “Choose one”

Light frowned, hesitating over the extremely generous offer. 

L let displeasure bleed into his eyes. “Please?”

“Could we choose one together?” Light hedged, “Something we both like the look of and can use?”

L smiled at that and nodded his head. 

He could deal with compromise. God knows they were going to be making enough of them in the weeks ahead. 

They curled up together on the sofa and spent the reminder of the afternoon car shopping. L had even managed to convince Light into letting him transfer the money for his medical fees back to him. 

“It was the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me, Light, and I will be eternally grateful for it. But you had a lot less than I do”

Light raised his head from it's resting place on L's shoulder. 

“Had?”

“Hmm. You’re mine now and I’m yours, so whatever I have is yours and vice versa” L snuggled back against the sofa, feeling nothing but a sweet sensation of domestic bliss. It felt so *right* to be curled up with Light in the middle of the day in *their* apartment. 

‘He just loves so honestly and completely. How could anyone want to hurt him or tarnish a love like that?’ Light wondered as he stroked L's face reverently. 

The clock chimed six and they drowsed together in the fading sunlight until rumbling bellies disturbed them. 

“CSI and Takeout?” Light asked with a grin, already reaching for his phone. 

“Hell yes” L sighed, feeling (for the first time in a long, long time) utterly content.


	24. Exploration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month since L and Light have started living together. L finally meets Sachiko, and then both he and Light do some long overdue exploring...it's SMUT TIME FINALLY!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is essentially just one huge sweet slice of smut pie. 😍
> 
> L is an awkward, shy cutie pie and Light is just fucking adorable, even if he does take sex to a competitive level (it's NOT a pissing contest, ya know!) 
> 
> So many fluffy feels I just can't! I really hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I have enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> ❤ I love this fic with my whole heart! ❤

“Ha, Yeah, she's been discharged and packed off to another department” Naomi cackled down the phone to L, “Kitamura is still eating out of the palm of my hand, probably because wifey is so involved with the charity work at the station”

L smiled at the sound of that wicked cackle and cradled his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he finished up making the tea. 

Sachiko Yagami was due any moment for a visit, and he was both nervous and excited about it.  
The door bell sounded and L nearly jumped out of his skin. Light called that he would get it and L slumped back against the kitchen counter, heart thudding erratically. 

“You’ll be fine, L. You’ve been doing so well you’ve got this!” Naomi soothed, “Just be polite, don’t call her a bitch like you do to me and you will be okay”

“Stellar advice, Nomie” L scowled, “I’ve got to go, I’ll call you back and let you know how it goes”  
“Better had, Sweet cheeks!”

L shook his head as Naomi hung up on him. That woman was his fucking rock. Between her unending support and Light's patience he had began to slowly improve. He was eating two meals a day now and had even began the slow process of weaning off some of his medication. 

“He’s just making tea, come through. Oh, he’s fine, just a little nervous...”

Light’s voice drifted through the kitchen and L bit his knuckles to try and ease the tremors in his hands. 

‘A little nervous? Fuck, Light, try fucking *terrified*’ L thought. 

“Baby, need a hand?”

“Yes!” shit, he hoped he hadn’t sounded as desperate as he felt. 

Light was at his side in a flash. 

“My hands” L explained quietly, “I can’t carry the tea tray...”

Light gently took L's hand from his mouth and kissed it, soothing the tremors away with his thumb sweeping across L's skin. 

“Shhh, don’t worry about that, Love. Come on, just hold my hand and it will be fine. She will love you”

L gulped as Light led him into the lounge. 

Sachiko Yagami stood and dipped her head to the dark haired man who had captured her son's heart. 

L bowed his head (lower, to show his respect) and prayed the trembling of his hands wasn’t overly noticeable. 

Light zipped off to get the tea tray, leaving L starting at Sachiko in growing awkwardness. What was he supposed to say? Shouldn’t he be doing something rather than just standing around like an awkward idiot? 

“Light takes after you”

L could have smacked himself. ‘What the actual, fuck, Lawliet?’

Sachiko smiled at the attempt and nodded her head. Light did take after her physically, even if in most of his mannerisms he resembled his father.

“Um...”

Sachiko sat down and L copied her, which was ridiculous really since they were in his apartment. He should have asked her to sit down, shouldn’t he? 

Light arrived like a saviour with a bright smile and began pouring them tea. 

“You are looking well, Dear” Sachiko nodded at L with a warm smile, “I am so sorry for all that... Well, for all that has happened to you”

L nodded and shifted uncomfortably, “Thank you. I am doing better now. Your son is a very good nurse”

Sachiko chuckled and shot Light a proud smile, “He is. He always used to dress Sayu's scrapes and bandage up her knees! He loves you very much, L, and it makes my heart sing to see him so happy”

The words seemed to wash away the awkwardness. L met her eyes levelly and returned her warm smile. 

“Thank you, Sachiko-San, I assure you I love your son very much in return. All I want is to make him happy”

Light blushed and handed L his cup of tea, “You already do, Babe” he whispered. He dropped a kiss to L's still trembling hand and glanced up at him through sultry amber eyes. 

L was struck by a keen sense of longing and, startlingly, lust. He hadn’t been expecting to feel *that* any time soon! He blushed and hastily looked away from Light. 

Light had noted L's blush and grinned. Maybe things were slowly moving in a more intimate direction between them? He sure hoped so... 

“So, L, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?”

L blanched. Fuck. 

“Um. Okay. My mother was a whore who managed to slur out ‘L’ before she died so that was given to me as a ‘name’. My father actually stepped up to the plate and tried to raise me but he was the head of the Law firm Amrose Uk and very busy so I don’t really recall seeing him much. Anyway, he died when I was little, so I was brought up by my Grandfather who basically disowned me at sixteen when he found out I was gay. Ah, what else? ... I worked two crappy jobs while i studied Criminology and Forensics then joined the London Met. *Then* I met Beyond who tried to kill me several times and essentially shattered my self esteem until I was a shell of my former self. Ended up nearly stabbing him to death cos he tried to rape me and ran off to Japan...”

Sachiko’s jaw dropped. 

“Sorry. Too much?” L glanced between Light and his mother. Both looked utterly astonished. 

“You’ve... Certainly lived a colourful life, Lawliet-San” Sachiko finally recovered, “Goodness!”

L smiled crookedly, “I’m really hoping for a quieter, more sedate change of pace with Light, Sachiko-San”

The wry joke endeared Sachiko to him instantly. L was just as Light had said: someone who had had the very hardest of beginnings yet had the inner strength to claw their way forward. L was a person of phenomenal inner strength, even if he didn’t realize it. His humour, humility and his odd mixture of brash awkwardness made L Lawliet a truly unforgettable individual. She knew at once why L had captured her sons heart. 

“L is *amazing*” Light's eyes lingered on the profile of his partner's face, “I couldn’t be prouder of how he has overcome so much to get where he is”

“Ditto, Light”

The ice had been broken and soon L found himself talking to Sachiko freely. He described England, his hobbies (which admittedly consisted of binging on NCIS, eating junk food and the occasional Caporia training session-just to shock his system) and of his admiration for Light and his progress in therapy. 

By the time it came for her to leave, L had decided he liked Sachiko Yagami very much. His fears she was as narrow minded and hostile as her husband were completely unfounded. He even found himself agreeing to meet Sachiko for coffee and cake the following Saturday. 

Light showed his mother out with a kiss and a hug and even sent his regards to his father.  
He returned to the lounge and went straight to L, arms wrapping around him. 

“Light, that went so much better than I had ever hoped it would. She is so nice... She does like me, doesn’t she?”

Light chuckled into L's neck and squeezed him gently, “She will soon *love* you, L. You are the closest she will get to an in-law from me. You are the person i'm spending the rest of my life with”

L snorted, even as butterflies exploded in his stomach at those sweet words. “Do I have a choice in that?” he teased. 

“Nope. Mine” Light giggled as he pressed little kisses to L's neck, “I call dibs”

L burst into laughter and pushed Light back against the sofa, his eyes suddenly darkening with seriousness. 

“L?”

“I want you” L said quietly before brushing his lips against Light's, “I felt desire today, when I looked at you pouring the tea. I saw how beautiful you really are, inside and out. It moved me” 

L settled in Light's lap, legs either side of Light's and eyes pinning Light to the spot. 

Light shivered at the words. Had his prayers been answered? Did L want things to progress further than kissing now? His cock twitched at the thought. 

‘Be cautious! Don’t spook him!’ Light's brain piped up, as if to reprimand another part of his anatomy. 

Tentatively he ran his fingers through L's shaggy hair and pulled his head down for another slow, sweet kiss. It left them both aching for more. L felt himself grow hard and flicked his eyes to Light in embarrassed surprise. 

“Oh, hello, what do we have here?” Light purred, purposefully keeping the atmosphere soft and comfortable with humour. L visibly relaxed and giggled, leaning in for another open mouthed kiss. 

Somewhere along the kisses became deeper and wetter until they were both squirming and rubbing their erections together, mouths locked in passion as they swallowed each others moans and whimpers. 

“Light” L moaned, eyes like granite as he pulled back and stared at Light's flushed face, “I want you”

Light let out a breathy sigh as he brushed strands of dark hair out of L's eyes to admire them better. “I want you too, Baby” he said softly, “Anything we do or do not do is up to you. You call the shots here, okay? I will *never* hurt you”

L kissed him again, crashing their mouths together and sucking Light's tongue into his mouth. Feeling bold (and reassured by Light's patience and respect for him) L pressed closer and shuddered as he felt Light's throbbing cock through his slacks. 

Fuck. Light was *hung*

Damn. He had to get his hands, and hopefully his mouth on it. Now he was fully conscious of what he was doing, it felt like the first time they were crossing into this territory. 

“L, fuck, Baby, feels so good” Light gasped, head tipping back as his hands skimmed down L's back and gripped his undulating hips. 

“Aaah, Light” L whined, eyes sliding closed as Light matched his rhythm and raised his hips to grind up into his. It was a perfect mimicry of sex, and even though they were both fully clothed they were hard and weeping, desperately grinding against one another and sobbing at the pleasurable friction. 

Light dared to slide his hands lower and splayed his fingers over L's ass, gently squeezing as L sucked on his lower lip hungrily. 

“Touch me more” L mumbled against his mouth. Light didn’t need telling twice. He slipped his hands under the waistband of L's jeans and the both stilled as Light’s fingers grazed the naked skin of L's backside. 

“This okay?” Light asked quietly, his pule roaring in his ears as he squeezed L’s ass gently. 

“Fuck, yes” L sighed, dropping his head to Light's chest. Light dipped a finger inside L's crack and brushed just the tip against L’s hole. 

L seized in his arms and cried out, panic and lust warring within his mind. His heart slammed against his ribcage as he trembled. Light soothed the panic away by kissing him again and again, not daring to move any closer to the entrance of L’s body. 

“I was startled” L admitted quietly, his voice so low Light had to strain to hear it, “Don't stop”

Light tested how tense L was and marvelled at the way L’s body felt; the small hole yielding and hot beneath his finger tip. He pushed a little, just the tip easing inside tight, constricting heat and L's splayed thighs tightened around his own. Light glanced at L's face and knew he wasn’t in pain. L bit his lip and rocked back against the finger, a silent, bashful plea for more. 

“Lube” Light whispered against his lips, “Where is it?”

L blinked at him, the fog of lust lifting from him at the question. Lube. Where was it? Bedroom, probably. 

Light must have been a mind reader. He gestured for L to climb off his lap and gave him a sexy smirk, “Bedroom?”

They stared at each other. Both knew they were stepping into unfamiliar, relationship defining territory here... 

‘Is he ready?’ Amber and Grey gazes met and held as they both pondered that question. They smiled at each other and both knew, instinctively, that the answer was ‘Yes'

Light took L's hand in his and led him towards their bedroom. Each step they took felt monumental. 

Once they reached the bedroom they fell on the bed, mouths finding and feasting on the others. Light pulled L on top of him, one hand fisted in his hair while the other slid down his back to grip his ass. 

L moaned and pushed his groin against Light's, causing them both to hiss and curse. 

“L” Light muttered, “Can we take our clothes off? I don’t want to have sex with you! Shit, I mean I *do* but I don’t right now and I- fuck it all”  
L laughed breathlessly at Light's awkward mumbling. He knew what Light meant. 

“I'm greatful you realise I’m not ready to go the whole way yet, Light... But...”L tapped a finger against Light’s nose playfully, “But I think we both need to get out of these clothes. Now”

Light flashed a relieved grin and shimmied out of his top in the time it took L to blink. L hooked a finger in his mouth as he let his eyes drift over tight brown nipples and rock hard abdominals. 

Nice... 

“Fuck. You're beautiful” L mumbled, suddenly anxious about his less ripped physique. What if Light thought he was too scrawny? 

“May I?” Light fingered the hem of L”s cashmere sweater. 

L swallowed and nodded his head. If there was going to be disappointment best to just get it over and done with. He released a shaky breath as he felt the cool air kiss his skin. He heard Light's sigh and braced himself...

“You are stunning”

L's eyes opened wide. Stunning? 

He met Light's eyes and searched for any hint of deception. He found none. 

“I’m too skinny” L blurted out. 

“Yes, you are” Light replied mildly, “But that will not be forever. You are getting better with each passing day. That doesn’t change the fact you are beautiful. Your skin is so flawless...”

L stared down at his chest. Just looked pale and scrawny to him. Light, however, looked entranced and L felt heat coil in his gut at the heavy, lust-filled gaze. Maybe he wasn’t so bad if Light was looking at him like that... 

“Delicious”

L quirked a brow. He was about to ask what Light was talking about when a shock wave raced up his spine and made a shrill, shocked whine fall from his lips. Light had dipped his head and was drawing one of his nipples into his mouth. 

“Oh god” L moaned, collapsing back on the bed as Light straddled him and kissed and sucked the small pink bud. 

“So fucking sweet” Light whispered against his skin, “You are perfect. Never believe otherwise, L”

L was mortified to feel tears spring to his eyes at the words. When had he become such a fucking sap? Light’s love seemed to just pry him open. 

L reached a hand to cup Light's head and let himself slip into bliss as Light covered his chest with kisses, lapped his tongue over his nipples and whispered endless praise against his skin.  
Light paused at L's stomach and felt the tight muscles tremble beneath that fair skin. Not yet.  
He flicked his eyes up to L. 

“Can I...?”

L swallowed visibly. Not trusting his voice he arched his hips in answer. He kept his eyes closed as he felt Light drag his jeans then underwear down his thighs. 

‘Ohbloodyfuck, my heart's beating out of my chest!’ 

“So sexy... L”

L peeked an eye open. Light was checking out his junk! Light traced a path down L's legs and pulled his clothes free. He dumped them on the floor as if he couldn’t bear to look away, for as soon as he'd done it his eyes were fixed on L's twitching cock and milky skin. 

“Ya know, it ain’t gonna suck itself” L quipped, voice shaking. 

Light gave him a long, slow smile and bent his head. L's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as he watched Light lap at his cock, from root to tip. He had never taken his sultry eyes off of L once. 

“Holy shit” L whimpered, elbows giving out at the sensation of Light slowly probing his slit with his tongue. Light certainly was comfortable in his sexuality. The man was a fucking incubus! 

Light pressed lingering kisses all over L's straining shaft until L was clutching at the sheets and bucking his hips, desperate for suction and rhythm. Light denied him both. Instead, he carefully hooked one of L's legs around his shoulders and nosed at his balls. 

“Gaaaaah!”

L felt a huff of laughter against his perineum and that sent him off again, gasps spilling from him as Light sucked at his balls gently. L barely had time to catch his breath before Light was lifting his hips a bit higher. What was he-

“FUCK!”

Light giggled against L's hole before lapping at the furled skin. Anton had done this for L and it had made him wild with lust. Light was determined to prove *he* would be an even better lover. 

“Oh god, Light, Jesus, fuck!”

Light buried his face and went to town eating L out. He had no real experience to go by. He'd googled gay sex extensively, so he knew how sensitive this area of the body could be. L had curled his fingers in his hair and was bucking and crying above him with each sweep of his tongue.  
No, he didn’t need experience to know he was doing good. L's wracking cries and shudders told him that. 

‘Now I need to make him come...’

Light speared his tongue into a point and jabbed it into the clenching hole. L let out a shriek and suddenly his body was clamping down and spasaming in release. 

‘Wow. That was quick. That must have made him feel really good' Light marvelled as he licked and sucked L through his orgasm. L's thigh released, muscles that were once straining becoming loose and languid in his hold again. 

“Light... Goddamn... Where... Why?” L gulped, chest heaving as he tried to centre himself. Where the fuck had Light, Mr I'm-Not-Gay learn to do *that?!*

Light ‘hmm’d’ against L's body and hefted his other leg over his shoulder. He wasn’t done yet. Anton had made L come twice and so would he! 

It was time to discover where L's prostate was.  
Ignoring his own pulsing need, Light reached for the tube of lube and slicked up his fingers. L whimpered as he realised what Light was planning on doing next and settled back on his elbows again. 

“Shhh, I won’t hurt you” Light whispered, tenderly tracing L's quivering rim with a fingertip. 

“You're *killing* me” L moaned, hips bucking at the teasing, soft touches. Goddammit he wanted those fingers in him five seconds ago! 

“Shhhh” Light reprimanded with a soft kiss to L's thigh, “I’m exploring new territory”

“Oh my fucking god” L snorted, a laugh mingling with a gasp as Light slowly pushed one finger inside of him. 

“It’s very tight, and hot. Fucking breath-taking” Light muttered to himself. All the research in the world couldn’t prepare him for this feeling. L felt so fucking *good* clenching down on his finger. His cock pulsed and jumped in excitement as he thought how mind-blowing it would be to slide into this heat. 

L's breath hitched as Light slowly inserted a second finger. 

“Okay, Love?”

“God yes” L sighed, hips arching, “More”

Light smiled and licked his lips. Right. Time to explore. He pulled his fingers out, almost to the tip, and admired the way L's rim seemed to cling onto them, before he pushed them back inside that velvet warmth. 

“Mnn!”

‘Hmmm, that article said about scissoring and... What was it, cocking your fingers? Yes, like a ‘come hither' action'

Light crooked his fingers and L *screamed*

‘Well fuck me' Light thought, delleriously. He'd found that small, spongey gland on his first try. He bet even Anton hadn’t managed *that* smugly, Light curled and pumped his fingers, L's sobs and passionate cries music to his ears. 

“Fuck, Light, you’re going to make me come!” L yelped as a particularly keen press had him seeing stars behind his tightly closed eyes. 

‘That’s the plan, Darling' Light thought. He contorted his body slightly and shifted back so he could still finger L whilst lapping at his weeping cock. 

“Uwwah! Light, oh, don’t stop, Babe, fuck, I’m close!”

‘He called me ‘Babe' Light thought, his grin radiant. It had been the first time L had ever used a pet name to him. He rewarded L by drawing his lips over his teeth and sucking his cock into his mouth. 

He knew exactly what he was doing now (‘Thank you, Google, my friend') and didn’t attempt to suck all of L's 8 inches in one go. Instead, he wrapped his free hand around his base and pumped it while he sucked and lapped at L's cock. 

He was tiring, his fingers (still working deep inside L) were aching and his cock was near purple with need. Still, if he could hold on just a little longer. 

Light began to Bob his head, mumbling and moaning around L's cock as it slid slickly in and out of his mouth. 

“Oh god! Yes! Light! Babe, I’m coming! Aaaaaahhh!”

Light moaned in triumph as the first jets of surprisingly sweet come spurted from L's cock. He pressed hard against L's prostate and gulped down his come. He felt so fucking satisfied at making L splinter apart. He deserved to feel nothing but pleasure for the rest of his life. He’d had more than his fair share of pain. 

Finally, L's body sank back to the bed and he was whimpering, tears trailing down his face. He had never felt so fucking loved or cherished in all of his 24 years of existence. 

Light heard his stifled sobs and immediately pulled away, anguish in his eyes. 

“L! Baby, I didn’t hurt you did I? Oh god, you're crying!”

L gulped and grabbed at Light. He pressed kisses against his face blindly. 

“I love you! Light, I love you so fucking much!”

Light smiled shakily. He’d made L cry through *pleasure* thank god. That was the only way he wanted to make him cry. 

L surprised him. Using his whipcord strength, L suddenly knocked him on his back and straddled him. His eyes were wet and soft and satisfied, but there was also a seductive gleam in them that took Light's breath away. 

“My turn” L breathed. 

‘Oh, fuck me, yes please' Light's giddy, delirious brain piped up. 

“I know exactly what I am doing, Light. And I am going to blow your fucking *mind*” L promised silkily. 

Light grinned and settled back, his body a blank canvas for L to explore. 

L started at his neck, he nibbled at the sweat soaked skin and sucked little love bits into the tanned flesh. 

“You have beautiful skin, Light. It's golden” L mumbled as he pressed kiss after kiss down Light's chest. 

“Th-thank you” Light hissed, body tensing in pleasure as he felt L's breath ghost over a nipple. 

“You don’t need to thank me for telling the truth, Beautiful one”

Light's eyes shot open. That was even nicer than hearing L call him ‘Babe’

L smiled and gently tugged on a nipple with his teeth. 

“Fuck!” Light yelped, lust sizzling up his spine and reducing his thoughts to a permanent loop of ‘Ohgodohgodohgod' as L lapped at his nipple and used his free hand to twist the other. L clearly knew *exactly* what he was doing. 

L shifted downwards, eager to get that thick, twitching dick in his mouth. He traced the outline of Light's straining six pack with his tongue, smiling when Light's fingers carded in his hair.  
‘Soon, Light. You’ve had your fun exploring, let me have mine'

“L, Baby, please” Light begged, hips bucking as his cock throbbed demandingly. He’d never been harder in his entire fucking life. 

L scooted lower until Light's gorgeous cock was just inches from his face. Easily nine inches, thick (but not frighteningly so) and so fucking perfect it made his mouth water. This was his now. Light was his. 

“Lay back” L whispered. Light shivered and slumped back against the pillows. 

L pressed a wet kiss to Light's throbbing cockhead and Light bucked up with a strangled groan. 

“Shhh” L teased, eyes sparkling, “Lay back, i've got you, Babe”

‘Oh, sweet fucking Jesus’ Light slumped back. He was so close to coming! L had only *kissed* him. What if he couldn’t hold out? 

L slowly trailed his tongue over the pulsing vein and Light melted, brain turning to mush. He’d officially died and gone to heaven. 

L smiled as Light finally relaxed and wrapped his pale fingers around the throbbing shaft. He sucked Light done in one go, Moaning reverently as he felt the slick head of Light’s cock bump the back of his throat. 

“Fuuuuuuuck! Oh, fuck, L, shit, I’m gonna come, baby, please, please-“

L backed off a bit. Of course Light wouldn't last as long as he could. This was still so *new* to him... 

“L!” Light whined, tugging on his hair gently. 

L tilted his head. He supposed he would just have to explore Light some more once he'd taken the edge off. They had all night, and he was a patient teacher. He would teach Light stamina and thoroughly enjoy doing it.. 

He surged back down and groaned around Light's cock. Light bucked his hips, cock sliding down L's throat and threw his head back with a scream. L moaned as he swallowed the thick bursts of release, greedy for more with each throb and pulse. 

Light sobbed weakly as his cock spasmed and the rapture that had ravaged his body finally began to fade away. 

L sucked him until he felt Light was close to overstimulation and gently released him from his mouth. 

He slithered up and basked as he rested his head against Light's frantically pounding heart. 

“I'm sorry! I didn’t last, I couldn’t, Jesus, L, your mouth...”

L chuckled and nuzzled his face into the sweat-slick skin of Light's throat. 

“I will teach you patience, Babe. Later. Nap first. Then I’m sucking your cock again...”

Light moaned at L's easy acceptance of his lack of stamina and that sexy promise. He wrapped his arms around him, fingers gliding down his wet back. 

“You... Aren’t disappointed in me, are you?”

L sluggishly lifted his head and dropped a kiss to Light's chin. He had been aiming for his lips but...

“You *enthral* me, Light” L slurred out, eyes already closing as he slumped against Light's chest, a snore already on his lips. 

Light smiled shyly and squeezed his eyes shut.  
Tears of happiness trickled down his face as he listened to L's soft snores. 

“You enthral me, L...”


	25. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light travel to England to visit L's dying Grandfather. Later, after L and Quillish have settled their difrences and laid the past to rest, L and Light FINALLY become lovers and sleep together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY HAAAAPPPPENING!!! OMG THEY'RE GONNNNNNA DOOOO IT AT LAAAAST!

Light sighed as he went through their suitcases. L had explained that the weather in Britain was very temperamental and since it was nearly October, Light had to pack for both seasons. He somehow doubted shorts would be necessary and L had laughed outright when Light had tossed some sun cream into their bags. 

“Oh, Babe, it's *England*” L giggled, “You won’t be needing that!”

Light shrugged and replaced it with an extra bottle of lube.

“*That* will be needed” L nodded in approval. Light smirked and rounded on him, arms wrapping around his waist as he kissed him hungrily. While L was never going to be overly big, he could feel a softness to his body now. The once sharp angles of his hip bones and ribs were not as prominent. L's whipcord strength and lithe muscles were prominent once more. 

‘He really has benefited from mum's cooking’ Light thought, delighted as he ran his hands over L's much healthier physique. He could barely keep his hands of him, and while they still hadn’t gone ‘All the way' yet, both knew it was only a matter of time. L had kept his word and had taught Light the merits of patience and stamina and both felt the sexual tension between them thick and sweet whenever they looked at each other. 

“Hmmm, keep that up and we won’t finish packing” L sighed, leaning into Light and kissing his jawline, “Flight leaves in three hours, Babe”

Light gave L's ass a little squeeze before regretfully pulling back. Damn it all. If only they had been a bit more organised they wouldn’t even have to be doing last minute packing. 

“Hellloooooo! Guys, you home?”

They shared a fond look. Now who could that be? 

Mello let himself into their apartment as if he owned the place and looked about, utterly horrified. There was clothes *everywhere*

“What the fuck? God, do you not even know how to pack! Ah! The cashmere jumpers! Jesus Christ, Move!”

L stepped out of the way as Mello dived towards his suitcase and scrambled about packing things properly. 

“Heathens” Mello sniffed as he tenderly smoothed one of L's shirts to get the creases out. 

“Morning to you too” Light shrugged, “Coffee?”

“Yes! Black though please, I’m on a diet”

L's hand drifted to his face and he sighed deeply. ‘What the fuck, Mello?’

“Why?” Light had to ask. There was nothing to Mello! He was rail thin and had the whole androgynous look going for him. Light conceded he wasn’t exactly his type (his type consisted solely of L) but the guy was hot in his own way.

“Mello, I love you dearly, which is why I can tell you what a dumb asshole you can be. You do not need to diet. At all. So shut up, have coffee with cream and sugar and eat some donuts with me before we leave”

Mello smiled thinly, eyes a bit watery, “Really? Because I overheard Matt talking to one of his friends and he called this girl a fat cow and she was basically the same size as me-”

L held up a hand to silence the outpouring of bullshit.

“Mello, as someone who has literally just finished a three week course with a nutritionist I’m pretty certain you're fine. Matt was just being a bitch about that girl, we both know he adores you!”

Light left L to soothe Mello's ruffled feathers and went to make the coffee. He'd never really had friends before he met L. Matsuda maybe, but certainly no one he would *die* for. L's small circle of friends were fast becoming his circle of friends to. He even found Anton and Fenzi to be not too bad...They'd all risked their lives to save L without a second's hesitation. He hoped one day he would find friendship like that, but then again, perhaps he already had? 

Once Mello had helped them pack ‘properly’ L called Matt, Anton and Naomi to say they were ready to leave. All wished him and Light well on their first ever couples vacation, even if it was to rainy old England to see his dying Grandfather. 

Light drove them to the airport with an air of excitement about him. He was going to see L's home country and maybe even learn more about him in the process?

“What’s he like, your Grandfather?” Light asked, concerned about the quiet mood that had fallen over L. 

“Oh, he's... Well, he's just...” L scribbled a doodle on the fogged passenger window, “He’s awkward. Difficult. Set in his ways. I'm pretty much the biggest disappointment to him, so don’t get your hopes up for a warm welcome. I’ve never told you this but he tried to get me to have conversion therapy too... I told him to go fuck himself”

Light barked out a shocked laugh. Of course his brave L would have said that. 

“Wish I had half the courage you have” Light admitted softly, “I wouldn’t have wasted years of my life-“

“This is why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to compare your story to mine. It doesn’t matter, anyway. We are both finally on the right path, I can sense it”  
Light briefly squeezed L's hand. 

“Me too, Baby. And fuck your Grandfather, I'll be there for *you* not him”

L settled back against the seat, much happier, and flipped on the radio. Helter skelter by The Beatles belted out and they shared a fond look, both remembering the time (a lifetime ago) when they had been in the car listening to it. They had been work partners then. Now they were lovers. Everything had changed and in some ways done a complete U Turn. 

The airport signs glowed dimly in the distance and the rain thumped down steadily. The car was warm and Light felt utterly content with L by his side, his melodic voice filling the car as he sang along to the songs on the radio. 

It was a simple feeling of rightness. He felt at home with L. He finally felt at peace with himself and what he wanted. Beyond was gone forever, and the distant shores of England was waiting for them... 

Light smiled as he drove on through the rain. 

Life was good. 

Finally. 

***************

L gently rolled his shoulder and Light blinked awake sleepily. 

“Huh?”

“Light, it won’t be long before we land” L whispered softly, “A car is waiting to take us to Quillish's home”

“Mmmmm, Love you...”

L smiled. Light was adorable when he was half asleep. 

“Love you too, Light” L gently stroked Light's face, “Time to wake up, you’ve been sleeping nearly ten hours”

Light bolted awake. What?! 

L rolled his eyes at his wide-eyed gape.   
“You clearly needed the rest. Besides, I’ve been catching up on boxsets” L admitted with a wry smile, “We should be at Gatwick in an hour, you should have something to eat”  
Light still felt guilty for sleeping most of the flight, but was pleased to note L had already eaten, his empty plates on the tray in front of him. 

“Aren't you tired?” Light protested. 

“A little. You know I don’t sleep well anyway. I will be fine. Make sure you eat something before we land” L left Light with a soft kiss as he went to use the restroom. Light ordered a basic noodle dish and a soda then leaned over L's empty seat to look out the window. He saw a lush green (so green!) Landscape below him. The misty clouds and dappled sunlight on the water made England seem a magical, ethereal place to Light. 

“Look!” Light spotted L and tugged on L's hand and pointed out the window. L stared at the lake district with longing. It was a place he had seen a thousand times before, but as he looked down on it with Light at his side, it seemed to transform into something brand new. A place to discover all over again. 

“Yes, it's lovely” L commented mildly, his eyes lost as he remembered countless walks through those jagged peaks and windswept, grassy moors...   
“I will take you to the lake districts before we return home, Light” L entwined their fingers and squeezed Light's hand. 

“Promise?”

“Promise. There is something there I want to see. Someone I need to say goodbye to”

Light frowned, confused at what L meant by such a cryptic statement. 

“Beyond's ashes were returned to the lake district” L explained quietly, “We used to walk for miles and lose ourselves in the wild once... It was where he wanted to be laid to rest. Now he is there and I wish to say goodbye to him properly. It is time”

Light's jaw dropped in astonishment. 

“Then we will go, If you are sure you’re ready?”

L nodded and rested his head against Light's shoulder.   
“I've got you by my side, Light. I’m ready”

Light shivered, why did he feel L was alluding to something else as well. L's eyes seemed so very sultry and Light peered into their silvery/grey depths in awe.   
“When we get to England, I want to make love with you” L whispered into his ear, confirming his suspicions. 

Light was so overcome with joy he felt tears sting his eyes. His heart pounded in exhilaration at just the thought of finally making love with L. It felt like he had been waiting his whole life for that moment. Maybe he had. L would be the first man he would sleep with, and he intended for him to be the last as well. L was to be his one and only. 

“Your food” L mumbled, pulling away as the cabin assistant placed Light's food in front of him with a polite smile.   
“T-thank you” Light stammered, his face beetroot red. 

L merely smiled and ordered a coffee, even though his heart was beating just as hard as Light's at the prospect of their upcoming union...

****************

Quillish Wammy stared out if the window, admiring the soft bobs of the tree tops as the wind tossed them too and fro.   
L and his lover, his *male* lover, where enroute to see him. 

He found it didn’t sting so much now. L had proved time and time again he would walk the path he chose, not the one expected of him.   
It heartened him. Perhaps being so close to death had finally shown him how to appreciate L for who he was at last?

“I've not been a good influence, nor a good Grandfather to you, have I?” Quillish sighed as he looked at the portrait of a small, dark haired boy standing next to his long dead son.   
“The mistakes of the past can never be truly erased but I hope... I do hope you will forgive me before it's time for me to go, L”

“Sir, They have arrived” a softly spoken assistant dipped her head, “Shall I escort them here or would you like to...”

Quillish smiled thinly. He could hardly greet them in the drawing room like he usually received guests. He could barely move. No, he would have to receive his grandson and his lover in his bedroom. 

He was dying and that was not a time to be proud. God knows he'd wasted enough years on that destructive vanity.   
“Please escort them here”

The assistant dipped her head once more and quietly shut the heavy wooden door behind her. 

Meanwhile, Light was staring at him in absolute wonder at the grand manor house before him.   
This was L’s childhood home. It looked like a palace! 

“L! Goodness, look at you!”

L turned to the diminutive assistant and flashed her a warm smile. Isabelle De'mont was a firm favourite of his Grandfather's vast array of staff. He had known her since he was a boy, for she was the one who mainly ended up looking after him. His father had always been too busy with work and after his death Quillish seemed to abhor the sight of him (‘He looks just like him! I can’t stand to look at the boy, keep him away from me!’) 

“Isabelle! I’ve missed you” L stepped into her arms and embraced his old nurse, “It feels like years since I’ve last seen you!”

“Well, Dear, it has been quite a few” Isabella sighed softly, her small, wrinkled hand drifting up to cup L's jaw “You’ve grown so handsome! I am glad you’re back... Mr Lawliet doesn’t have long left...”

‘I seem to have a penchant for loving people who hurt me...’ L's eyes settled on Light ‘Expect for Light. I know in my heart he will never hurt me, not now he knows who he is' L thought as he mused over just why he was here in the first place. He supposed he wanted resolution with Quillish before it was too late.   
Isabelle glanced at Light and raised a delicately plucked eyebrow at L. 

“Oh! Isabelle, this is Light, my partner” L introduced with a flush, “Light, this is Isabelle De'mont, she was my Nanny and pretty much raised me”

Light bowed his head. 

“It's a pleasure to meet you” Light uttered in slightly accented English. 

“Goodness, L, he is a handsome chap!” Isabelle flustered, “Polite too!”

Light smiled charmingly at her. 

“Yes, I think I’ve finally lucked out” L gave Light a warm look before he turned his attention to the heavy mahogany doors in front of them. “How is he?”

“Weak. He isn’t in pain, but I suppose he is feeling reflective and mournful. He spends a lot of time staring out of the window and talking to the portrait of you and your father”

“Let’s go and see him then” L cleared his throat, “Can't be worse than when I turned down the promotion, right?”

Isabelle went pale as she remembered the way Quillish had screamed at L in fury. Once he had learnt L had fled the country... Then he had steadily declined into ill-health and misery, his only solace in talking to that portrait of his. Without a word she led them towards the stairs. 

Light cast his eyes around the vast interior of the foyer. There were chandeliers, chaise lounges, giant vases of exotic flowers and even the air smelled sweet and luxurious.  
“This place is incredible” Light whispered as he followed L and his old Nanny up the grand marble staircase, “You didn’t tell me you were a prince”

L giggled, “I’m not a prince, you twat”

“Oh, L” Isabelle tutted, with a half-stern, half-amused expression on her face. 

They came to a stop outside of Quillish’s bedroom door. When L took a deep breath to calm himself, Light snatched at his hand and held it firmly. Together they entered the bedroom. 

L met Quillish's stare head on, utterly unrepentant as he squeezed Light's hand in his. 

“Grandfather” L greeted cooly, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m dying”

L snorted and Light whipped his head between them in shock. The old man's sense of humour was just as dry as L's. Perhaps he was the one L had inherited his dark, dry sense of humour from in the first place? 

“Well, you are” L had the briefest curl of a smile to his lips, “Grandfather, this is Light. I love him deeply, He is the love of my life actually...”

Watery blue eyes drifted over to him, and Light stood up straighter, bracing himself for the snide comments he was certain was to come his way.   
Instead, Quillish dipped his head and offered a pained smile. 

“At least I have got to see L with someone he loves. I never liked Beyond, I’m glad he's dead”  
Light’s mouth fell open. 

“As am I, in some ways. Light here killed him”

Quillish's eyes flashed with amusement, “Good job, Light! Come and sit, I can barely see you from over there”

L strode across the room and stared down at the frail old man who had once ruled his life with an iron fist. 

“You look like Lars. Even more so than I remembered” 

L cocked an eyebrow. He knew full well he took after his father. He'd been screamed at enough because of it. But Quillish seemed sentimental and mellow now. Death soothed the edges of his memory and cast everything in a rose-tinted glow. L decided Quillish was better left to his deathbed delusions. His fight had gone when it came to his Grandfather. 

“Isabelle said you only had a few weeks left” L plucked at Quillish's duvet, “I am sorry for that, despite everything that has happened”

Quillish let out a small sigh, “I know I have hurt you, L. I pushed my hatred of your mother onto you. I resented you for the loss of my son simply because you look so similar to him. I pushed you into the Met and tried to force you to do things you didn’t want to do. Yet here you are, walking your own path despite everything. That makes me *proud* L, very proud indeed”

L blinked back shocked tears. He hadn’t been expecting that.   
“Really?” L finally whispered. 

“Really” Quillish cleared his throat, seemingly uncomfortable at showing emotion. He was a true English gent. 'Stiff upper lip' might as well have been his middle name.   
Isabelle returned with a pot of tea for them, and both L and Light were surprised they past a pleasant afternoon with Quillish. They spoke of little things of no consequence and of big things too. They laid the past to rest in an afternoon filled with tears, frank discussion and most importantly of all, love and understanding. Neither L nor Quillish wished to part for the last time with such pain between them. They forgave each other for a lifetime of mistakes and pain, and Light was moved to tears as he watched Grandfather and Grandson embrace. The sun sank low into the sky and spilled orange light into the room. The golden glow illuminated Quillish, who had fallen into a peaceful slumber, a soft smile on his face as if he was finally at peace with himself.

“Let's go” L whispered, “He needs to rest”

Light followed L out of the room and watched as L softly closed the door. The big manor house suddenly felt so alien to Light. He imagined L as a lonely boy, wandering the long, dimly lit corridors and felt tears sting his eyes. 

“Light?”

“I'm sorry” Light rubbed at his eyes, “I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed. You and Quillish managed to talk through years of hurt and pain... He's *dying* L, it's almost like you can see death looming over him. And this place! It’s so hauntingly beautiful...”

L smiled in understanding, and reached to touch Light's face. 

“This place is dark, it has always been dark. You are my Light now, I just wish I had known you before... Before I made the mistake in believing in *him*. You are the one I believe in, Beautiful one”

Light gulped and grabbed L in a crushing embrace. He broke down into sobs. L burst into tears too and they sank to the floor, crying and kissing until their tears dried up and turned into hiccoughing laughter. 

“Why are we crying?” Light chuckled weakly, resting his forehead against L's. 

“I don’t know. I think we needed to” L sniffed and stroked a finger down Light's cheek, “Light, I realised I loved you when you told me I was your perfect partner. That day in the office, remember? You were lying to yourself and I was angry, but I *saw* a beautiful brokenness in you. A special bravery. I wanted you when you kissed me, but I knew I loved you when I finally saw how lost and afraid you really were. I knew you wanted me then, but you were still trying so hard to live a life that wasn’t meant for you. I... I never apologized for what I said to you at the Gala. I just wanted to save you from yourself. I wanted you to live a life that would make you happy. I wanted you, and even though I had Anton and Naomi with me I felt so fucking angry at Takada! I don’t think I’ve ever felt as jealous as I did that night in my entire life... ”

Silent tears trickled down L's face and L tenderly wiped them away, eyes fixed on L's trembling eyelashes as he waited for L to continue speaking. 

“When Beyond poisoned me, I knew somehow I was going to die. I think I felt my heart fail. I saw your image before my eyes and just knew I had to fight. I had to get back to you...”

Light crushed L against him and rained kisses on his face. The maids gave the young men a wide berth as they flitted about doing their duties.   
Neither L nor Light cared. They remained where they knelt, bathed in the light of the stained glass window and worshiping at the altar of each other. 

“L, I need to make love to you tonight. I need to make you mine”

L shivered at the words and pressed a tender kiss to Light's lips. 

“Yes.”

****************

L had closed the curtains and the fire cracked softly in the room. Light felt as though the most monumental moment of his life was to take place in this darkened room, L's childhood bedroom. 

Locked away from the rest of the world and kissing so passionately on L's bed, nothing else mattered more than the play of flickering flames on L's pale skin or the way Light's hair seemed to flash with gold flashes each time he moved. 

Light rolled on top of L and they both shared another wet kiss, erections rubbing together as their bodies rocked gently against each other. 

“Oh, god, Light” L whispered as he hooked his arms around Light's neck and surged up to kiss him again. They moaned into each other's mouths as their hands skimmed each other's bodies, palms sliding across sweat-slick skin in reverent, fevered worship. 

“I love you” Light moaned, canting his hips a little faster. He closed his eyes in bliss as he felt the slick slide of L's cock against his own. L clutched at his ass and squeezed gently, earning himself a low growl of approval from Light. 

How had he feared this? How could this beautiful act be something he had once reviled as ‘unnatural’ and ‘wrong’? L was so perfect beneath him, his breath, his body, his heart... 

“Ahh, yes, Light!”

Light moaned breathlessly and hung his head, ass muscles flexing beneath L's hands as he picked up his pace. The bed squeaked gently as they rocked against one another, pleasure seeping through their veins and hazing out everything else. It was a drug of the sweetest kind, and they were hooked on each other.   
The slow rocks gradually became more erratic as their desire grew. The bed groaned in protest as Light braced one hand against the headboard and rutted against L in a single-minded determination to come. 

“Yes! Light, I’m so close!” L choked out, squirming beneath Light in increasing urgency, “Oh, Babe, more, more, Ple-Ah!!”

Light hooked one of L's legs around his waist and devoured his mouth in a searing kiss. They writhed together, bodies straining towards release. L tore his mouth from Light's and cried out as he splintered apart, his cock shooting out thick jets of come over his straining stomach. Light gaped as he followed suit, slamming his hips into L’s and clutching at his hair as he cried out L's name over and over. The wet, squishing sounds of their frantically rubbing come-slick groins sent a thrill through Light.   
It seemed endless, and tears mingled with sweat as they gazed at each other in shocked wonder. 

“Haaaa! A-ah, Oh, Light” L whimpered, one particularly long, slow slide of Light's twitching cock against his making him see *stars* 

Light slumped against L and they clung to each other desperately. L stroker Light's trembling back as he struggled to catch his breath  
.   
‘Rapture. That is what this is. He's my heaven’ L thought muzzily, hips jerking as aftershocks made him twitch and shudder in Light’s arms.   
He felt satisfied, and yet it wasn’t enough. Perhaps it would never be enough when it came to having Light in his arms. Each touch, each kiss made him ravenous for more. Light had scorched him and now he was burning up on the inside. 

“I need you in me” L reached for Light, suddenly blind in his need, “I need you, Please, god, Light-”

Light swallowed hard and gently held L still. 

“Shhh. You’ve got me.”

L's eyes darkened at the words. He forced himself to breath as he saw Light snag a pillow. He lifted his hips, breath caught in his throat as Light stared down at him.   
Silently, Light reached for the lubricant and slicked up his fingers. 

“I'm going to make you feel so good, Baby” Light promised softly, “I will never hurt you”

L's breath hitched when he felt that slick finger tenderly trace his rim. There was no urgency now. A moment like this could not be rushed. With infinite care, Light slowly pressed the first finger inside L's clenching hole. 

“Mmmm, fuck, Light!” 

Light husked out a laugh and wiggled his finger a little, eyes locked on L's face and searching for any signs of discomfort or panic.  
The only things he could see reflected in L's tear filled eyes was love and longing. It was so fucking pure it took his breath away.   
He pressed a second finger against L's hole, alerting him to his intentions. He would not shock or surprise L this time.   
L responded by lifting his hips and baring his throat in such a wanton, submissive display it made Light's mouth dry. 

‘Can’t believe he's mine. Is this a dream?’ Light wondered as he pressed his finger inside and L moaned his name, voice cracking in passion. If this was a dream he never wanted to wake up. 

“Oh, Li-Light!”

Light smiled smugly as he crocked his fingers. Colours burst behind L's eyelids as a shock of sensation zapped through his body. Light’s clever fingers assaulted him tenderly, stretching him open and pleasuring him at the same time. Once again he found himself thankful for the many hours of 'research' he had conducted. He was going to be the best lover L had ever had!

“One more” Light cooed, “So fucking beautiful, L, so beautiful. Can you take one more for me?”

L nodded his head, a low whine escaping him as the third finger breached him. It stung a little, bit it made him ache in eagerness too. He was going to have Light inside him. The sky could fall down right that moment and he wouldn’t give a single fuck. 

“I’m ready” L panted, “Fuck me, Light!”

Light leaned over him and tilted L's chin so he could stare into his eyes.   
“No, L, I’m not going to *fuck* you. I'm going to make love to you”

L’s eyes widened at the sultry timbre in Light's voice. He gripped Light's arms as he felt Light’s cock brush against his leg. He felt almost dizzy with anticipation.  
Light took himself in hand and bit down on his lip as he slicked himself up. He pressed his tip against L's relaxed hole and drew in a shuddering breath before he slowly pushed forward. 

They stared into each others eyes as Light slid home in one smooth thrust. He was biting his lip at how fucking *good* it felt, while L was trying to just not burst into tears.   
“Oh, *god*” Light let out a strangled groan, “L, it feels so good inside you. So fucking perfect!”

L was actually speechless for once in his life. His mouth hung open as he sucked in air, sparks shooting up his spine each time Light moved or shifted. He felt so fucking full and complete it succeeded in bringing tears to his eyes. Before Light could ask him if he was in pain L pressed a shaky kiss to his cheek. He could tell Light was desperate to move by the small tremors in his arms, but he selfishly wanted Light to stay still. He wanted this moment to just last forever. 

“Can I move?”

L clutched at Light tightly. He nodded his head, the breath knocked out of him when Light pulled away slightly and thrusted back inside. 

“Nng! Hah, Light, I love you” L sobbed, past the point of caring about his wildly careening emotions. Light dove down for another kiss as he found a gentle, rocking rhythm.   
“Love you, L, god damn, I love you” Light was close to tears himself. He was inside L, how could such a thing *not* make him emotional? He could feel his body clench and flex beneath him and the slightest shift made his blood run hot. He had never felt so primal or sexual in his life. The joke of a sex life he had had with Kiyomi didn’t hold a candle to this. 

They whimpered into each others mouths as they moved gently. Light refused to thrust hard or focus slowly on his bodies nearly overwhelming need to rut. Instead, he kissed L's cheeks, his eyebrows and his lips, mumbling sweet words of praise and love over and over again in a litany of devotion. 

L squirmed beneath him, heart aching at the gentle, tender movements. He’d never had sex like this before. It was like what they were doing with their bodies was only secondary. What they were doing with their hearts was far more important.

Light refused to look away from him, and they shared panting, hitching breaths with eyes locked.

“I want you to move faster” L mumbled, “Please, Light, just a little” his hips were raising to meet Light's thrusts and his resolve was fading fast.   
Light smiled and shifted his hips, his cock sinking in just a little deeper before he flexed and pulled away so that just the tip of his cock was inside that tight hole. He pushed forward again, eyes flicking closed as he grimaced in pleasure. 

“Hah! Yes, oh, like that!” L whimpered. Light moved his hips, cock plunging in and nearly completely out of L's body in deliberately slow, deep strokes.   
L raked his nails down Light’s back as passion engulfing him. He could feel Light’s cockhead bumping into his prostate with every deep stroke and suddenly he found he didn’t care about drawing out this moment. There would be countless others like it. He wanted to feel Light come inside him and to see the pleasure twist his face... 

“Need you!” Light panted, hips beginning to snap faster as his blood rose. 

“Yes!” L cried, digging his nails into the flesh of Light's back. He guided his legs to rest over Light's shoulders and they both cried out when Light sank even deeper. L was nearly bent in two, not that he minded. The only thing he could even think about was that thick, hot cock inside him. Nothing else mattered at all. 

“Can I... Oh fuck, I need to go faster!” Light whined, his balls slapping against L's skin gently with each jerking thrust. 

L choked out a cry, squeezing his internal muscles around Light’s throbbing cock in encouragement. 

The bed squeaked as Light began to fuck in earnest, and their mouths crashed into each others. Saliva spilled down their chins from the messy kiss as they groaned and nipped at each other. 

“I don’t want this to end” L admitted, even as Light thrust into him faster, bodies straining towards an earth-shattering release. 

“This is never going to end” Light moaned. He needed to come so badly it hurt. L was sucking him inside,every thrust into his body made his balls throb with need. It was tighter, hotter and more amazing than Kiyomi’s body, and Light knew he was addicted to the feeling of being inside L at once.

“I’m so close, Baby, so close” Light was teetering on the edge, teeth clenched as he tried to hold himself back. L wasn’t about to let that happen, he was tiring too and he wanted to watch Light fall over the edge. He grabbed Light and rocked his hips, head tipped back as he felt the burning coil of his own release flare out within him.

“L!” 

"Light!!! Oh, Yes, Aaaaaah, I'm coming!"

Light pounded into him furiously and cried out as he finally let himself surrender to the passion between them. L sobbed through his own release as his body clamped down on Light, milking his thrusting cock as he was filled with jet after jet of warmth.

Light knocked a bedside lamp over as he lunged inside L, but neither of them particularly cared. Come dribbled down L’s thighs and coated his stomach as their raptorius cries gave way to exhausted pants for breath as their pleasure washed away.

Light slumped on top of L, his cock pulsing in satisfaction as he shivered through the aftershocks of the most intense orgsam of his life.

“Holy shit” L finally gasped, “I can’t believe that was your first time with a man… ugh, you’re going to be incredible with a bit more practice!”

Light giggled and L whined as he felt Light’s cock twitch inside his body. It seemed his new lover was quite the insatiable one as well.

“Practice makes perfect” Light whispered, already shifting his hips and making L gasp as his over sensitive prostate was stimulated once again, “And I plan on being the *best* at giving you pleasure, L”

As the moon rose in the sky, Light made good on his promise. They made love throughout the night, learning of each other’s bodies and hearts as their soft cries rang out in the darkness.

By the time the sun rose once again, both were in deep, sated sprawls, hands clasped and smiles on their faces. Just as it had with Quillish, love had given them a sense of soul-deep peace. They were finally one and nothing and no one would ever stand between them again.


	26. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L takes Light to the Peak District. He shares some old memories with Light, and together they make some new ones...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Public service announcement: if you decide to get frisky outdoors, do so at your own risk. You can get cold, or even worse, caught. Not that I know ANYTHING about that *cough*

They awoke the next day, loosely curled up around each other, awake but unwilling to break the spell that had been cast over them.Both felt as though something quietly life-changing had happened and they were loath to disturb it. They lay quietly in the bed, skin touching and breath mingling as they soaked up just *being* together. 

Light stared at the hollows between L's shoulder blades and wondered if he had ever seen something so beautiful as the play of weak morning sunshine across pallid skin. 

“Nomie was right, you are a creep” Came the sleepy mumble from the owner of aforementioned shoulder blades. 

“Heh, i'm just admiring the scenery”

L snorted and nuzzled into the pillow, not quite willing to start the day yet. Even in those early blissful days with Beyond he had never felt so close to someone. He wanted to just lie in silence with Light and share his breath forever… 

Light settled back against L's back and gently traced patterns on the smooth canvas with his fingertips. He painted the words ‘I love you’ over and over, eyes focusing on the small pebbles of gooseflesh that broke out on L's skin with each sweep of his fingers. 

“I will take you to the Peak District today” L finally slurred, eyelids drooping with each gentle caress, “If you still want to go with me?”

Light stilled his movements and placed a soft kiss to L's neck, “Yes, I do”

L sighed and flicked his eyes over to the clock. It was only eight and whilst he was feeling rather sore and sticky from the previous nights activities, he decided another hour with Light wouldn't hurt. 

He flopped onto his side and wrapped his arms around Light's waist before settling his head against Light's shoulder and chest. He could hear the gentle thrum of his lover's heartbeat and it soothed him back to sleep. 

“I'm going to love you forever” Light whispered into messy black hair, “I promise you that, L”

His response was a gentle snore. Smiling, Light curled their bodies together, limbs and fingers entwining until it was impossible to get any closer, and drifted off back to sleep. 

****************

The next time they awoke it was to Isabelle softly knocking on their door to inquire if they wanted breakfast. 

Light's stomach answered for him and L giggled into his neck. 

“Yes, please, Isabelle”

His old nanny informed him breakfast would be ready in 20 minutes and strolled away to check in on Quillish. She smiled as she thought about her little L finally finding the love of his life. No one deserved it more, in her opinion. 

“We will be expected to eat downstairs” L mumbled into Light's warm skin, “Which means we have to move. I had wanted a bath but…”

Light flushed. Was L in pain? They'd done it quite a few times last night… 

“I am going to run you a bath and then catch up with Isabelle. We can eat up here. We're done with expectations, remember?”

L smiled as Light climbed out of bed and cracked his back. He drifted his eyes over those abs and the soft, satisfied (for now, anyway) cock and his smile curled into a satisfied leer. All that was *his* now. 

“Are you perving at me, L?”

“Oh yes” L replied, eyes sparkling “I can be a creep too”

Light grinned and turned to him, giving him a full frontal view of his body with a smug smirk. Light knew he was ripped, he worked out hard enough for it. And if he was honest he was *loving* the flush that filled L's cheeks with colour as he looked at him. It never hurt to have his ego stroked just a little, and L's hungry was certainly doing that. 

“You are stunning” L finally declared, forcing his head to move. He could stare at those abs all day, and they did have other things that needed doing. A painful twinge shot up his spine as he moved and L grimaced. A bath was of the highest priority. 

Light caught the grimace and reached for him. 

“I didn't hurt you, did i?”

L shook his head, a bit embarrassed Light had to keep asking that. It had been quite some time since he'd had sex four times in one night, and it showed. Not that he regretted it for one single second. Light was a quick learner, and had certainly put him through his paces! 

Light's stomach rumbled again and L kissed him sweetly, “You go get breakfast, Love”

Light's smile dazzled him. 

“And then I can feed you while you're in the bath, yeah?”

‘Oh be still my beating heart’ L thought as he traced a thumb down that razor sharp jawbone. 

“If you like” L demurred, even though he knew Light could tell how much he wanted that to happen. It was so fucking intimate and nurturing it made his heart ache. 

“Yes” Light pressed a swift kiss to L's lips in parting, threw on a robe and left the room. L shook his head in amusement. Only Light could wander around his home barely dressed and not give a damn about it. 

He eased himself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom. 

‘I can't wait for him to come back. Christ, what a sap I've become…’ L turned the taps and dumped a pile of bubble bath in, hoping Light wouldn't be too long despite himself… 

Light, meanwhile, had upped the charm and secured a lovely breakfast for himself and L. Isabelle raised an eyebrow at his dress (or lack of it) but decided not to comment. She had been young and in love too, once upon a time… 

“Thank you, Isabelle” Light bowed his head as he carefully took the tray from her. 

“You're welcome, Light. Please call us if there is anything you need” Isabelle dismissed herself to begin her morning routine of *trying* to persuade Quillish to take his medication (‘I'm dying, woman, what is the point in all of that now?’) 

Light returned to L's suite of rooms, a shaky smile on his face when he realised he had only spilled a little bit of orange juice on the way. 

The distant sounds of splashing told him where to go and he let himself into the grand bathroom, eyes zeroing in on L as he lay back in a giant claw tub overflowing with bubbles.

“Hey, Light”

“Hey, Beautiful Mermaid…Merman? Mer something. I've got breakfast”

L snorted and blew some suds at Light. He was as close to a Mer something as he was to being a fifty foot lizard. Still. It made him blush to think Light saw him that way. 

Light set the tray down and began loading spoonful after spoonful of sugar into L's coffee. 

“Mmmm, this is nice” L sighed as Light held up a strawberry to his lips. He took it from him and chewed it, wondering if this pampering was a one time thing or if this was the kind of lover Light was. He hoped it was the second option. He could get used to this. 

“Good, because I plan on spoiling you” Light answered his unspoken question for him and offered another strawberry. 

L cracked open an eye “Hmm, you do know my policy. An eye for an eye, Light. That means I get to spoil you back” L smiled at the thought of it. He had missed having someone to make happy… 

“Toast?”

“Yes, please but… no jam” L specified, unable to stop the shiver that ran through him as he remembered *him* 

“Right” Light frowned. L's eyes were suddenly distant as if he was far away and lost in memories… 

“I'm sorry, Light. Some things just remind me of him” L admitted, feeling like a dick for ruining this moment between them. 

“That's okay, L. Can I ask why Jam reminds you of him?”

L managed a wry smile, “He was obsessed with it. Like really obsessed… jam was his equivalent to crack cocaine I guess. I can't stomach it, just the smell of it makes me want to vomit” L purposefully left out the fact Beyond had had a habit of spreading that vile, sticky stuff all over him and licking it up. L had put up with it because it was something Beyond had insisted on doing but he had never actually liked it. His stomach clenched at the thought. He had put up with a *lot* he didn't like, even in their early years… 

‘Light is different. He's kind and respectful. He will never hurt me like he did’ L reassured himself. 

Light hastily shoved the little jam jar out of the way and under the tub, thankful he hadn't just put it on without thinking. 

“Marmalade then?”

“Yes please”

‘No jam. He likes marmalade’ Light made a mental note as he prepared their toast. 

The rest of the breakfast passed without incident, and soon they were fed, washed and dressed. Before Light could move to the door though L had grabbed him and sat him down on the edge of the bed. 

Looking up through inky bangs L parted Light's legs and knelt between them. Light moaned when he felt L cup his bulge and nuzzle against it. All the blood in his body shot south as L undone his zip and pulled his hardening cock out. 

“And now it's time for me to spoil you…”

Light's eyes fluttered closed as he felt L lathe the tip of his cock with his tongue before drawing it into that tight, wet mouth. 

‘Fuck, if this is the thanks I get i’m giving him breakfast in bed every day of the week!’ Light thought. L hummed around him and began to bob his head, and then thinking was just no longer possible at all… 

*****************

The drive to the Peak District National park was a pleasant one. Isabelle had insisted on packing them a picnic and Quillish had asked L to take some photos for him. The District had been one of his favourite places too, and L decided he would gather some wild flowers (if there were any left this time of year) to bring home for him. 

“L, why did Beyond want his remains to be scattered here?” Light asked quietly. It was surreal sometimes, to think *he* had been the one to kill his predecessor. He'd killed the man that once possessed L’s heart. 

“Memories, Light” L kept his eyes on the road, “Good memories. We spent a lot of time here together. Quillish and I too. It is a very special place to us”

Light settled back against his seat and admired the passing countryside. It was a warm Autumn day, and the low sun cast it's weakening rays upon the fields and turning leaves, illuminating them in a golden sheen. England was very pretty indeed, Light decided. It was a country of soft light and muted colors. It suited L perfectly. 

“Maybe one day we will find a special place together. Have you traveled much?”

Light shook his head. This visit to England was the first time he had ever set foot outside of Japan. He knew L was something of a globetrotter, L had told him when they were partners and were trying to get to know each other. L had said he wanted to travel the world one day, and see all of the beauty nature had to offer. Light decided he wanted to be a part of that. They could discover new worlds together. 

“Would you like to travel?”

“Yes. Because I want to go wherever you go”

L smiled at the sweet answer and reached to squeeze Light's thigh in gratitude, “Where would you like to go first, Light? In a few months it will be time to return to work once… well, once Quillish has died and been laid to rest. I would like to travel somewhere else with you before we return to Japan. Somewhere just for us”

Light swallowed thickly. L was aware then, he knew Light felt a little insecure about his place in L's life when they were visiting a special place connected to his past. L was thinking of the future. *their* future. 

“I've always really wanted to go to Greece”

L brightened at that (because he had been half fearing Light would say something like Rome or Amsterdam, two places he detested) and nodded his head. He had not yet traveled to Greece. It would be a new adventure for the both of them to explore together. 

“Greece it is” L popped a mint in his mouth and offered one to Light. Mints were the only sweets Light seemed to like. L had been paying attention to the small details. They shared a smile as Light took one. 

As with most things, it was the little things that seemed to make their relationship that much sweeter. 

***************

Mello and Matt arrived at La Rouge, hand in hand and excited to see their friends. It had been a busy week for everyone, and they had a lot to catch up on. 

Naomi, Ray, Anton and Fenzi were already waiting for them at their favourite table that groaned under the weight of cocktails, bar snacks and bottles. 

“Here we aaarreeee!” Mello flounced over to them and greeted them all with air kisses to the cheek. Ray set his jaw as he received his. Getting used to Mello was still a work in progress as far as he was concerned. Still, Naomi's friends were his friends, and they were a brave, crazy, friendly bunch of weirdos. He liked them. 

“Hey Mattie, you actually look awake for once!” Naomi greeted cheerfully. 

Matt, who was clean shaven and actually wearing a *shirt* for a change smiled, “I took a week off, Mel and I have been updating the apartment and keeping an eye on L and Light's place. It's been oddly domestic but nice, you know?”

Understanding nods. Domesticity and normality was what they were *all* craving after the tremulous last few months. 

“Any news from Strong Heart and Mr I *am* a gay?” Mello asked as he sipped at his cocktail. He gave a bright smile to Anton who had bought their drinks in ready for them. 

“He is doing well. He emailed me yesterday saying he and Light were having a nice time and that he has been able to make peace with his Grandfather” Anton answered softly, “I am so glad of that. I was concerned the gap between them would never be bridged. When we were together L told me a lot about Quillish Wammy…”

Fenzi sniffed. He was getting better but he still hated when L and Anton's past was brought up. 

Anton noted the sniff and squeezed Fenzi's hand that was encased in his. Fenzi relaxed at the gesture and cuddled close to him. 

“Well, Here's to them!” Naomi's eyes had a wicked gleam in them, “The star crossed lovers!”

Bemused, the others raised their glasses in a toast. Mello was the first one to understand what Naomi was saying. 

“No. Fucking. Way. They've done it, haven't they? When? How? Why didn't L tell *me*”

Naomi smirked, “He text me a few hours ago. He might have mentioned that Light is something of a prodigy and a… what was the phrase he used? Ah yeah, ‘A demon in the sack!’ ”

Ray shrugged. Good for them. Now maybe things could settle down in work… Well, as long as they didn't bring their lover's spats into work with him. Which admittedly was something he and Naomi sometimes did… 

“I knew it!” Mello cheered, “All that repression and now our dear Light has transformed into a fabulous gay butterfly! A demon in the sack kinda butterfly to boot! Yay for gay sex!”

Matt chocked on his drink and burst into laughter. Sniggers ran around the small group of friends and Mello giggled as well. 

“Only you, Mello” Matt finally sighed as he wiped tears from his eyes, “I love you, Baby”

“Love you too, Mattie!” Mello chirped happily, “To love!”

The group clinked glasses again, toasted to ‘love’ and then commenced to get absolutely wasted together. 

No one had to look over their shoulders anymore. They could talk and laugh freely and for the first time in a long time, they were actually happy again. 

‘I hope you are too, L’ Naomi thought. She slipped her phone out and sent L a quick message:

‘Love you, my Strong Heart’

She would just blame the alcohol for being such a soppy bitch later. 

****************

“L… this place is *beautiful*” Light sighed,wide eyed at the splendor of the grassy moors, rolling hills and lakes that dominated the landscape. 

“It is” L agreed, his feet guiding him to a well traveled path. They had been walking and exploring for a few hours by now, and L was keenly aware of the sun threatening to dip below the horizon. Light held his hand as L led him to a small bench overlooking the water. 

“Here” L murmured, pointing to a small wild rose bush stood a few feet away from the bench. 

Light's stomach flipped. Roses. Of course. No wonder L didn't like them. 

“I am uncertain how he managed it, but his ashes were returned here…” L shook his head, “Just as he always said they would be”

Light hovered by the bench, uncertain if L wanted privacy or not. 

L stared down at the rose bush for countless seconds before he knelt and toyed with the Rose he had taken from Quillish's garden that morning. 

“Hi, B. I hope you are finally at peace now. I miss you, as fucked up as that sounds. I miss the *memory* of you, from when you were my first love. I hope wherever you are now you are that person once again and not the monster you became. Light and I are together now, and I will spend everyday of my life cherishing him the way I once cherished you. *He* is the love of my life, Beyond, and I think I can finally say I am happy you’re gone. I think you would be happy about that too. Your love was toxic to both yourself and to me. I've made my peace with the past and what you did to me. You can't hurt me anymore, can you? I can't let your memory hurt me either. I won't be coming back to see you again, so this is goodbye. I hope… No. That doesn't matter now. I love you, B. Rest well” L laid down the single winter rose and wiped at his eyes. Light gently took him in his arms and held him tightly. The wind howled around them and a spot of dappled sunlight broke free from the clouds, illuminating them and the sml rose bush in golden light. 

L smiled and admired the play of the light on dew-soaked petals. Was that a sign Beyond had heard and understood? Or was it just simply the sun breaking through the clouds? 

His skeptical mind told him it was obviously just a break in the cloud cover but his heart told him differently. His heart told him he had been heard and understood. 

He felt a sense of peace wash over him and he turned in Light's arms, kissing him gently. The kiss held a promise of *more* to it, and when L led light down a grassy slope to a sheltered area by the lake he willingly followed. His heart was pounding in his chest as they lay on the ground and lost themselves in kisses. 

“I want you” L whispered against Light's lips, “I need you, Light. Right now”

A thrill shot through Light at that husky whisper. They were in public, but damn if that wasn't exciting… it was quiet and the sun was setting… and he realized he just really wanted L too. 

“But we haven't…” Light waved a hand as he gestured towards his groin. There was no way he was taking L without lube. 

L's eyes sparkled, “Oh, I brought that. Just in case. As Nomie would say, it's always best to be prepared…”

Light groaned and rolled L under him, his mouth feasting on him hungrily. Public or not, he no longer cared. He needed to be inside L and he needed to be Inside him *now*

They hastily shucked their clothes, both hissing as the chilly air danced across their skin. 

“I'll warm you up” Light promised, a sexy, naughty smile on his face as he rocked his hips against L's. 

“T-take me then” L stuttered, hips bucking into Light's. Light groaned at the answer and sucked L's tongue into his mouth. He kept kissing L and swallowing all of those delicious moans and whimpers as he fingered him open. 

“Oh, fuck, yeeesss” L hissed as he felt Light press against that bundle of nerves inside him. He arched his hips in a silent plea for more, and Light, his generous, loving Light, gave it until he was crying out in ecstasy, his cries hanging in the still air of the lakeside. 

“In me now” L commanded breathlessly, “Light, please!”

Light drew away and shakily slicked himself up. He was cold, shivering actually, but one part of L was warm. He would sink into that molten heat and then the cold wouldn't matter. nothing would. Light lined himself and prepared to enter his lover. 

“No, stop”

At once Light stilled, concern biting at him. Where they moving too fast? Was he asking too much of L? 

“Lay back” L mumbled, a slight flush on his cheeks. Light lay back and shuddered as he felt the wind against his straining erection. His eyes flew open as L straddled him and guided his cock into the molten heat of his body. They screamed silently as they felt the slow, hot slide of their bodies connecting. 

“Oh fuck, yes! L, oh god!” Light grit his teeth. Suddenly he was very warm indeed and as he suspected nothing else in the world mattered. An entire army of hikers and dog walkers could come right now and he wouldn't give a damn. He was inside L and that was everything. 

L's breath hitched as he established a slow, seductive rhythm, his hips rolling as Light slipped in and out of his body. 

‘Mmmm, yes, Light, oh…” L placed his hands on Light's chest and moved a little faster, mouth dropping open as his cock rubbed against those sweet fucking abs. 

Light held onto L’s hips and gazed up at him in rapture, his own hips rising and falling as he thrusted gently inside him. 

“This is so good” Light gasped, tears stinging his eyes. He felt L's ass clench around him and bucked his hips a little faster. 

“Haa! Yes, ah, light, fuck me” L moaned, shameless in his passion as he rode Light with increasing urgency and vigor. 

Light sucked in a breath and speared his cock inside, his balls slapping against L's ass as he began to thrust in earnest. 

“Yes! Yes!” L cried out loudly, voice ringing in the chilly mountain air as he bounced on Light's thrusting cock “More! Fuck me, Light!”

Light growled and pulled L down on top of him. His cock slipped out of its tight sheath as he rolled them over, he draped L's legs over his shoulders and pushed back inside. Their cries startled a flock of birds from their trees. Light began to pound hard, his instincts driving him on to rut. He needed to come and he needed L to come too. It was all he could focus on. 

L scrambed at his back and panted harshly into his ear, his raising cries altering Light to his impending release. Light somehow managed to move even faster, and he reached between them to fist L's weeping cock. 

L screamed as the first shockwave hit him and flung his head back on the grass. He cried out again and again with each thick jet Light milked out of his cock. Light had stilled in his movements and was watching through narrowed eyes as L came apart beneath him. The lakes and mountains were lacking In comparison to the beauty of such a sight, in Light's opinion. 

“Oh, Babe” L moaned weakly when he could finally speak again, his entire body shaking, “That was *amazing*”

Light grinned at the praise and licked at his dry lips. Sweat matted his hair to his face and his cock was pulsing with the need to come. 

“Come in me. Let me watch you”

Light whined at the words and shifted L's legs over his shoulders. He flexed his hips and grunted as he fucked L hard and fast, solely for his own pleasure now. He felt those dark eyes on him and shuddered as L clutched as his thrusting ass. 

“Come in me, Lover. Let me feel you”

Light choked out a sob and screamed as his release smashed into him, perhaps brought on by L's impassioned words. Light had his eyes closed so could not see L gazing up at him adoringly. 

Light's face twisted with passion as he shot load after load of come inside that tight channel until his breath whooshed out of him and his elbows gave out. L caught him and pressed a tender kiss to his hair. He soothed him as Light huffed for breath, his spent cock twitching weakly inside him. 

“Amazing” L whispered. The sun had set, and the first stars were peppermint the sky. He clutched onto Light tightly and stared up at the evening sky, never more at peace in his entire life. 

“It's cold” Light whispered, a century or so later. 

“Mmm, it is” L agreed. Light had slipped from his body some time ago, and they had curled up together to look at the stars. It was getting *too* cold now, and their lovemaking had made them ravenously hungry. 

“i’m hungry”

L laughed, “me too”

“Means we have to move” Light moaned. 

“Yes, either that or die of hypothermia. Come on, let's get dressed and go back to the car” L gently pushed Light off him. 

They dressed in silence, broken only by the occasional wet kiss as they couldn't keep their hands of each other. 

By the time they had reached the car it was pitch black and Isabelle had texted asking if everything was alright. 

‘Fine, Thank you, Isabelle. Lost track of time making memories. Be home later. Going out for food’ L sent back before pulling Light into a deep kiss. They cranked the heating up and kissed for several long minutes until the ominous rumble of both of their stomachs forced them to pull away from each other. 

“Food” Light decided, “I want to take you out to dinner. Where shall we go?”

L smiled and took one last look at the dusky mountains around him. He would not return to this place again, but he had its memories locked in his heart now. They were all he needed. 

“Wherever we want, Light” L drove away from the carpark and back onto the road, “We can go… we can *do* whatever we want now”

Light smiled back at him and closed his eyes in contentment. 

Yes they could…


	27. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L says his final farewells to Quillish, but not before Light hints at a surprising option for their future together...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter. I loooooove it. 
> 
> Also, I appreciate feedback so please leave some! No one seems to be commenting much anymore :( feed the author! 
> 
> (Seriously, I do kinda need to know what the interest is in this fic cos I plan on writing another million chapters I love it that much!)

They had been in England for little over two weeks when Quillish began to weaken. His Doctors began the process of palliative care, and soon the once lively and spirited man become a weak, pale ghost lying in his ornate bed. 

“I don't think he has long left” L traced a pattern on the window of his old bedroom. Light glanced up from his book and looked at him. Silhouetted against the moonlit window, L looked like some magical creature, all silver and pale and beautiful but so very sad too. He let his book fall closed, losing his page, and went to L. Quietly he wrapped his arms around L's waist and pressed a tender kiss to L's neck. 

“He's ready to go, L. I know it's sad, but he is ready”

L nodded. His eyes were dry but forlorn as he stared out at the moonlit gardens. “Once he is gone I will have no one left, Light. He is the last of my family…”

Light tightened his arms and pressed another kiss to L's neck. He loved L's neck. It was so elegant and beautiful to him. 

“You will have me. I will be your family”

L smiled faintly. That wasn't quite the same thing, but it would be enough. Light was all he really needed. Light and his friends. Perhaps it was just sobering to have lost his Mother, Father and soon his Grandfather at such a young age. It felt surreal to know soon he would be the last Lawliet. 

“Last one… Last one indeed” L chuckled dryly. 

“Hmm?”

“My name. That is the meaning of my name” L explained softly. “Lost one or Last one. I was just appreciating the irony giving my current situation”

Light bit his lip at the sudden thought that flashed through his brain. It was a ridiculous one, absolutely crazy really… but… 

If he married L and took his last name, that would mean L wouldn't be the last Lawliet would it? What if they found a surrogate mother to bare their children? More Lawliets! Maybe it wouldn't happen for a while, they were still young and their relationship was still establishing itself, but they were ideas for the future…

“What are you thinking, Light? I can hear the cogs turning from here”

“The future” Light hedged cautiously, “Do you want children, L?”

L snorted, “I don't have a womb, Light. Hate to break that to you, Babe”

Light rolled his eyes and nibbled L's ear in rebuke. “I meant… maybe one day we could adopt? Or have a surrogate or something. They could have your surname. You wouldn't be the last one then, would you?”

L turned in his arms and just peered at him, an astonished smile curling his lips. 

“You wouldn't want them to have your last name?”

“Well no. Because I would have your name too…” Light bit his lip, suddenly feeling awkward “If you wanted me to have it one day, no pressure or anything… it's just an idea… oh god, please say something…” Light gulped. Why was L just staring at him like he'd grown another head? 

“You want to marry me?” L asked finally, a hint of disbelief in his tone. 

“Yes” Light mumbled, his face red. He really wished L would just say something, he was feeling paranoid now. All L was doing was just staring at him! 

“Wow” L said finally. He drifted away from Light and began to pace. Light watched him, his heart sinking. They'd only been dating a few months. Of course it was too soon! Given L's past and all he had endured… 

“Guess you know what you are getting me for my birthday gift then”

Light blinked. What? 

L was the one to roll his eyes this time. “An engagement ring, you dolt”

A smile, radiant enough to rival the sun, spread across Light's face as the words registered. L wanted to marry him?! 

“I'm not ready to settle down and have sproglets running around quite yet, Light. There is still so much of the world I want to see, so many cases left… but yes, I would like a family one day. And I would love to marry you, if you will have me”

“I'd marry you tomorrow! Hell, I'd marry you right now” Light blurted out. He smiled sheepishly and held out his arms. L stepped into them and they shared a soft kiss. 

“I love you” L sighed, laying his head against Light's chest, “You adorable bastard”

“L?” A soft knock sounded. 

L sprang away from Light and was at the door in a heartbeat. Isabella, pale faced but composed, was standing there. 

“The doctors are with him now. It's time”

L swallowed thickly and turned to Light but Light was already moving to stand by his side. L was touched by the loyalty and took Light's hand in his. In that moment he decided he would be buying Light his own engagement ring. When Light gave him his in a few weeks L planned on surprising him by giving one in return. 

“Time to say farewell then” Isabelle gave L's shoulder a small squeeze, “He appreciates you being here, L. We all do”

They walked down the long winding hallway to where Quillish's suite of rooms were located. L wasn't surprised to spot several maids quietly weeping outside. Quillish could be an asshole, but he was also a very fair and compassionate employer. He had treated his staff extremely well over the years. Perhaps that was one of the reasons Isabelle had remained so loyal to him, even after their fall out. 

Quietly, with an air of reverence and respect, they entered the room and joined the assembly of doctors, palliative care nurses and Quillish's lawyer and executor of state. A dignified silence hung in the air, which was broken when Quillish grunted and broke wind loudly. 

L let out a strangled snort, laughter bubbling in his throat. He shouldn't laugh, but it was just one of those moments were it was impossible to do anything but. Light bit at his lip and straightened his spine, but L knew he had found it just as funny as he did. 

L bowed his head and mumbled an apology at the inevitable “Oh, L” from Isabelle. 

The brief moment of humor was soon gone as L slowly approached the bed and took in the thin, haggard form of his Grandfather. His breathing was raspy and his hands quivered as they rested on the duvet. The cannulas and drips had been removed. Only the syringe driver and heart monitor remained. 

His vitals were dropping rapidly. One of the palliative care nurses gently swabbed the man's mouth with a moistened cotton bud. 

“What am I supposed to say? Do you think he can even hear me?” L turned to his Nanny for guidance, just as he had always done. 

“Say whatever is in your heart, my love. He can hear you. They say hearing is the last sense to go”

L nibbled his lip and gently took one of Watari's hands in his. He was startled at how cold it was. The skin was paper thin, wrinkled and ravaged with age and sickness. 

“I'm here, Grandpa” L said softly, blocking out everyone in the room as he said his final farewells to another man he had loved and hated intensely in his short life. “You can go whenever you are ready, you can go and see Lars…Say hello to him for me. And Mum. Maybe ask her why she gave me such a shitty initial for a name, yeah?” L wiped at his eyes and squeezed the frail hand gently. He felt Quillish *was* listening to him somehow. “Light and I are going to get married one day and we are going to have children. Your name will carry on, I promise you. Perhaps not in the way you expected of me, sure, but we both know I have never been very good at living up to people's expectations…” 

Isabelle dabbed at her eyes, tears trickling down her face at L's sweet self-depreciation. Thank goodness the boy hadn't lived up to people's expectations! He would not be where he was now. He would not be happy and with the love of his life. His husband-to-be no less! She was thrilled for them, and she tucked that little spark of joy and happiness away for later. 

The pulse monitor began to bleep and L pulled away from Quillish, a startled expression on his face. 

Isabelle flew to his side and perched on the bed next to him, Her instinct to nurture and protect as strong as it always had been. 

“He's going now, it’s okay. The machines will do that” Isabelle soothed. “Quickly now, say your farewell”

L gulped and leaned over the dying man. He pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“Goodbye, Quillish. I love you”

The beeping intensified and L’s tears fell onto a peaceful looking face. Quillish took in one last strangled gasp for air and the monitors abruptly stopped. The heart monitor flatlined with a dull drone and Quillish's last breath rattled out of his throat. 

He had gone. 

L stared down at the corpse, numb with shock. He had seen countless dead bodies in his line of work. Few had looked so peaceful as his grandfather. Was it a trick of the light or was there a shadow of a smile curling Quillish's thin lips? Had he heard and approved? 

Light’s hand touched his shoulder and L suddenly burst into tears, the soft touch snapping him out of his shock and releasing a torrent of emotions. 

“I'm here, I'm here, Baby, shhh, shhh, it's okay, it's okay…”

Isabelle swallowed hard at the tender, soothing words Light whispered into L's ear as he held him, gently rocking him in his arms and whispering the same words over and over in a soothing litany. 

“We will wait outside” The Dr cleared his throat and glanced at L “We are very sorry for your loss, Mr Lawliet”

L let out a strangled sob at the words and clutched at Light's shirt. Snot and saliva was running out of him as he sobbed his heart out and was soaking into Light's shirt, but Light didn't care about that. All he cared about was striking L's back and comforting him the best he could, even if all he could do was hold him and let him cry. 

Quietly the team of nurses, Lawyer and the Dr left the room. The door closed behind them with a soft snick. Outside they could hear the soft wails of the assembled staff as they heard the news that Quillish Lawliet had passed away. 

Isabelle placed a gentle kiss to Quillish's lips and smiled sadly down at him. He had been more than an employer to her. He had been her dearest friend too. 

“Rest well, Quillish”

L had sobbed himself asleep and was a dead weight in Light's arms. Carefully, Light scooped him up and carried him out of the room. The nurses were waiting patiently to lay Quillish out. They gave him soft looks of sympathy as he walked past them with L in his arms. 

Light returned to L's bedroom and gently deposited him on the bed. Suddenly feeling bone tired, Light kicked off his shoes and without even bothering to undress, climbed into bed next to L. He curled his body around his and held him in the darkness. 

Outside an owl hooted, its piercing shriek breaking the frigid night air. 

Light clutched L tighter and whispered to him that everything was going to be alright. Sleep claimed him in seconds, silent tears leaving silvery paths down his face and catching in the moonlight. 

******************

Arranging a funeral made the time after the loss of a loved one a very busy one. Isabelle had taken charge and had organized all of it. That had given L the time he needed to process his loss and accept it. 

During the first few days, Light had given L the space he obviously wanted. L had taken to wandering around the orchards or locking himself in the library for hours at a time. Light waited patiently for him to return. L always did. They would eat together and lay curled around each other. L wouldn't speak much at first, but as the days passed the sadness seemed to lift, slowly but surely, from him. 

The fifth day after Quillish died was the day the will was to be read. L showed little interest in that until Isabelle reminded him gently that it was his duty to attend. As sole inheritor to Quillish's fortune he had little choice in the matter. 

“Come with me?”

Light nodded and took his hand in his. 

The lawyer read out the last will and testament of Quillish Lawliet. His Manor was to be left to his dearest friend, Isabelle. His staff were to receive a yearly pension of £10,000 each for their long, devoted service to him. He requested his art works and antiques to be sold at auction and for the funds raised to be donated to various charities close to his heart. The rest of his estate, including his vast collection of cars, was to be left to his grandson, alongside the staggering sum of £109 million pounds. 

L signed the documents woodenly, his face pale and grim. When the lawyer congratulated him L’s hackles rose. 

“Fuck you! You dare congratulate me? I'd rather have him still alive, you heartless, money-grabbing cunt!”

Light smirked at L's fiery outburst. The lawyer had deserved that. 

Clearing his throat, the lawyer hastily shuffled his paperwork and tucked it back into his briefcase. 

“Get the fuck out!” L snarled. 

The lawyer had little choice but to bolt out of the room. 

Light shot L a proud smile and L smiled back. 

“Fucking Lawyers” L sighed with a rueful smile, “Anyway. I guess we should do something fun today? I'm sorry, I've been a bit of an emotional wreck…”

Light shook his head and gave L a sweet little smile, “Don't be silly, and don't apologize for mourning him, L. I think it would be fun if we went out for the day, did a bit of shopping in London? Maybe book our break to Greece?”

L's eyes lit up. Now that did seem like a good idea. “Come to the garage with me and pick a car then”

They walked down to the vast underground garage and Light whimpered at the sight of all the gleaming, expensive cars lined up. L watched him with a small smile on his face as Light was drawn to the black, custom built jaguar. That had been one of Quillish's favourites, and his as well if he was honest. It was stylish, but had an understated grace to it as well. It would suit Light perfectly. 

“This is so fucking beautiful” Light whispered, running a hand down the sleek sides of the sports car. 

“Getting a bit jealous here” L teased, “Got a name for her yet?”

“Huh?”

“She's yours. You love her, Light, and I love you. I certainly don't need 20 cars anyway. So, think of a name for her”

Light gulped, a little dizzy and overwhelmed. L was just giving him a car worth well over a million pounds? Just like that?! 

“Jet” Light whispered, “Christ, L, are you sure…?”

L wandered over to the key rack and searched for the Jaguar keys. Once he found them he threw them at Light. Light was so stunned he dropped them, making L snigger at him. 

“I'd give you the world if I could, Light. A car is nothing. Besides, I did tell you you would be getting a new car soon didn't I?”

Light let out a shaky breath and admired *his* car. The guys in the office were going to be so jealous! 

“Stop making eyes at it and get it. I will give you directions” L smiled, amused at how dumbfounded Light looked. 

“You've just given me the best car in the entire world” Light mumbled, dazed with happiness as he slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. The engine purred and Light knew he was in love at once. 

“Ugh, you're such a *man* when it comes to cars” L rolled his eyes and opened the garage doors with the remote. They rolled open smoothly and Light goggled at the sheer opulence and luxury all around him. Quillish Lawliet had certainly loved his cars! 

Light thanked him by reaching for him and kissing him senseless. 

“Mmm, nice” L smiled happily when Light finally released him, “Remember we drive on the left over here” he nodded to the drivers set and Light dashed over to it. 

Light grinned and strapped himself in. He bore down on the accelerator and the engine *roared*

“Tch. Boys and their toys” L smirked. He scrambled to put on his seat belt as Light floored the gas and headed straight for the garage doors. The car zipped out into the warm Autumn sunshine and L reached over to lower the hood. He had always enjoyed feeling the wind in his hair. 

Light made a happy little squealing noise and L clasped his thigh, settling back to enjoy the ride. 

*******************

They passed an enjoyable day together sightseeing and shopping in London. L made sure to pick up little trinkets and souvenirs for his friends and Light bought a few tacky London themed souvenirs for his mother, who would undoubtedly adore them considering she was *obsessed* with British Period dramas. 

They booked their holiday and L payed for it outright, shooting Light a ‘don't argue with me look’ as he did so. Light sighed and settled back in his chair. His lover was generous to a fault, but he couldn't help but feel a bit inadequate. He knew L wasn't with him for his wealth (or lack there off) but he wanted to show L he could provide for him too. Maybe it was just his pride. L had always cautioned him he was too prideful. 

Once the formalities were sorted out, L tucked their tickets away and asked Light what he wanted to do next. It was only 2 pm, they had the rest of the afternoon stretched out before them. 

“I want to shag you two ways from Tuesday” Light admitted in a lustful purr. L grinned and blushed, eyes darting around to make sure they had not been overheard. 

“That is on the agenda for later, Light. I meant what do you want to do *now*” L teased. 

Light flashed a smile. Sex with L was the best thing ever. Even better than Jet. 

“Can we go visit the Tower of London? I've always really wanted to see it”

L shrugged easily and took Light's hand in his. Light glanced around to check if anyone had any issues with two men holding hands. The people that passed didn't so much as look their way. It seemed Britain was far more tolerant of homosexuality than Japan, which was good considering one day Light planned on marrying L in his home country. 

L decided they would leave the car and take the tube. He really wanted to show Light the underground, and how shit it was in comparison to Japan's own railway networks. Light stayed closed and groaned as he and L were basically shoved into each other on the packed train. 

“The joys of the tube” L smiled with a wry tone to his voice, “It gets worse at rush hour you know. I used to hate commuting to work”

Light wrapped an arm around L's waist and indulged in holding him close. He could smell the faint scent of mint on L's breath and it was making arousal pulse through his veins. He was addicted, well and truly addicted to this beautiful man. 

“What jobs did you do?”

“I worked in a fast food joint and I worked as a library assistant part time. I obviously enjoyed the library Job more, working for McDonalds was basically minimum wage torture. Early starts, rushed of your feet all day, going home stinking of grease and stressed after having to deal with arsey customers all day…” L shook his head, “Those employees deserve a fucking medal to be honest. They work their asses of for next to nothing and society shits on them for having a ‘menial’ job. Makes me sick”

Light's face softened as he listened to L's passionate speech. His lover was one of the richest people in the UK but here he was promoting the rights of those in far less fortunate circumstances. L had been one of them once, and in his heart he still was. L valued hard work, determination and grit. Thankfully he had the latter two in spades. 

“You enthral me, L” Light finally mumbled, “Hope you know that”

L pressed closer to Light and leaned up to whisper in his ear:

“Ditto, Light”


	28. Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light travel to Greece together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently pretending to be an inanimate object is a sexual kink. 💁 I just thought it was cute 😂

After Quillish's funeral, L and Light stayed a few days with Isabelle to help her reorganize the house. She planned on living in the grand Manor to honor Quillish and all the memories they had made there. L was endured she would be financially stable for countless years to come. It was the least he could do for the woman who had raised him like her own. 

“So what grand adventure are you too going on before you return to Japan?” Isabelle asked over afternoon tea. She could tell just by looking at the pair they were itching to be off and to explore. And why shouldn't they be. They were young and in love, and that in itself was the greatest adventure of one's life. 

“Greece” L explained around a mouthful of cake, “It’s going to be a whirlwind tour. We're going to start in Athens, do the usual touristy stuff there, then it's on to Santorini, Mykonos and finishing up in Crete”

Isabelle grinned, delighted for them. It sounded like they were to have quite the adventure indeed! 

“I will expect plenty of photos! And a postcard. Do people even send them anymore?” She wondered, head cocked to the side. She was 55,perhaps that was just an example of her old fashioned ways. The world seemed entirely different from when she was L or Light's age, that was for sure. She smiled as Light tapped away on his smartphone. Case and point. 

“I will make sure we send you a card at each stop, Nanny”

Isabelle felt herself tear up a little at the title. L hadn't called her that in years… 

“Would you care for more tea and cake?”

L whipped his plate towards her at the speed of light. Light snickered at L and requested some more tea. 

“This is so good” L mumbled around a forkful of lemon drizzle cake, “can you make me some to eat on the plane?”

Isabelle, who was used to deciphering what L was trying to say around a mouthful of food, nodded and smiled indulgently. He did have such a sweet tooth! 

They spent the remainder of the afternoon together, and as promised, Isabelle presented L with a cake for when they caught their flight the next morning. 

“I love England” Light sighed as they lay wrapped around each other that night. 

“I'm glad. I was hoping you would want to travel here regularly. Now that Quillish has gone I really should make a point of visiting Nanny more”

Light tapped L's nose, “You are adorable, do you know that?”

L smiled and cuddled closer to Light. 

“No. You are”

“No, you”

L grinned and pushed Light onto his back. He crawled over him and leaned closer, his lips just a centimetres from Light's. Light strained his neck to kiss him but L jerked his head back with a teasing smirk. 

“No. You are” L declared. “If you say ‘No, You’ again I won't kiss you”

Light smirked and mimed zipping his mouth closed. L giggled and kissed him, fingers twinning in Light's hair as he sucked on his tongue. Their playful mood quickly dissolved into hunger for each other. Light ran his hands down L's back and grasped his ass, giving it a hard squeeze. 

“Fuck, I want you” Light moaned, his cock twitching and filling as his arousal grew. L moaned into the kiss and rubbed his own stirring erection against Light's in response. 

“I think I'm addicted to you” Light confessed as he dipped his hands under the waistband of L's baggy pajama bottoms and cupped his ass before squeezing it“Is there a cure for that?”

L's toes curled at that particularly hard squeeze and he pulled away, panting for breath. “No” he finally managed, “I don't think there is”

Light pulled L's face back to his. 

“Good” he replied, before kissing him once again. 

They made love slowly, gazing into each others eyes throughout, and both realised they were well and truly addicted to each other, all jokes aside. 

“I love you so much” L gasped into Light's mouth, his torso arching as Light rolled his hips and fucked him deeply. For someone who had spent the majority of their life in the closet, Light sure knew how to fuck. With every pass of his cock he ground the tip against L's prostate, making his toes curl in pleasure each time he did it. 

“Love you more” Light nipped at L's jaw, “Don't say ‘No, I love you more’ or I won't fuck you into the mattress”

L smirked at Light's attempt to turn the tables and squeezed his ass muscles, his smirk turning smug at the expression of bliss that washed over Light. Light groaned throatily and fucked a little faster, hips snapping as he felt L's tight body suck him inside. 

‘You were saying?’ L thought, his mouth falling open as he scratched at Light's back. Light was too far gone, his hips were snapping as he fucked L for all he was worth. 

“I'm gonna come” Light growled, teeth clenched as he felt the exquisite drag of L's inner walls against his frantically thrusting cock, “Baby, you feel so good, I need to come”

L nodded his head and reached up for a kiss. Light smashed their mouths together and they swallowed each others cries as they found their release, light tensing inside L and L shuddering as he came over his chest in wave after wave of ecstasy. He felt the hot pulses inside him and shivered. He would never get over how amazing it felt, to actually *feel* Light's pleasure inside him. 

“Mmm! Li-light, oh… oh fuck!”

Light lunged forward once more, the last jets of come spurting straight into that bundle of nerves and L let his head fall back with a shriek as pleasure slammed through him. Light gritted his teeth as L's body clamped around him and he shuddered with satisfaction. He could feel each and every pulse as L writhed in pleasure beneath him, back arched as he cried out over and over again. 

‘So fucking glad I researched prostate orgsams’ Light thought, his eyes glued to L's face. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were screwed tightly shut as he quivered. His spent cock twitched against his belly and his legs jerked until he sunk back on the bed with a great sigh, eyelashes trembling against his cheeks. 

Light eased himself from L's shuddering body and stared down at his handiwork. He'd made L come so hard he'd knocked him out! 

‘Heh, so cute…’ Light slipped out of bed and reached for his phone. He needed a photo. L was drooling and mumbling. Maybe a quick video? If he was going to be a creep might as well go all out. Light recorded a quick video of L sleeping and snapped a few pictures as well. 

Once he was done he grabbed a washcloth and clean them up. L was that out of it he didn't so much as stir as Light tenderly clean his thighs. He stared at L's pink, gaping hole and felt a sizzle of lust shoot through him. 

He really was addicted. Light figured L wasn't going to be up for another round anytime soon so dumped the washcloth in the laundry hamper and got back into bed. Probably best to get some rest, he decided. 

They had a busy day tomorrow and an early flight to catch. Light smiled and cuddled closer, eyes drifting closed as he dreamed about all the fun they would have on their adventures together… 

******************

Light had never felt so excited before. He was sat next to L and gazing out of the window at the sparkling Mediterranean sea, thousands of feet below them in awe. 

L was on his laptop, emailing photos from their London trip to Naomi. He was munching on bites of cake in between and Light thought he looked entirely cosmopolitan and well traveled. He didn't even flinch when the plane hit a bit of turbulence. He just took a sip of coffee and assured Light it would soon pass. 

Light took out his phone and googled ‘Athens Tourist attractions’ he couldn't wait to see the ancient ruins, sample the delicious food and sample his delicious boyfriend in the fancy hotel *suite* L had booked for them. 

“Baby, do you think we could visit the Acropolis Museum?”

L glanced up from his laptop with a warm smile, “Of course, I've always wanted to visit it. The Pantheon is another must as well’

Light nodded eagerly, he was so pleased he and L had similar tastes in such things. He knew however L was not a fan of lounging by the pool and working on a tan (mainly because L was so pale and would just burn) but L had reassured him he didn't mind if he did that. 

Light imagined L would just sit in the shade, read and sip on cocktails. The image was so charming it brought a smile to his face. 

“It's crazy to think when I first saw you in Kitamura's office I thought you were just some rude foreign asshole. Then I noted how hot you were” Light bumped L's shoulder with his and entwined their fingers, “Who would have thought a year later we would be sat together flying over the Mediterranean ocean?”

L smiled and squeezed Light's hand, a wry turn to his mouth as he admitted his first impression of Light was that he was a bit of a stuck up prat. 

“Has that impression changed?” Light couldn't help but tease. 

“Oh yes” L smiled, a flush of heat flaring through him as he thought back to the exquisite pleasure of the night before, “I've come to the conclusion you are some kind of sex god, Light Lawliet-to-be”

Light made a happy little noise at that and kissed L. He was caring less and less about other people's reactions now. L was his lover first and foremost, not just another man. 

Light suspected his therapist would be proud to hear of that breakthrough. When they returned to Japan he decided he would ask L if he wanted to meet her… 

******************  
As soon as they walked out of the airport terminal the sun hit them right in the face. Light whipped on a pair of shades and beamed up at it while L wondered if he had even remembered to bring sunscreen. They'd only been out in it for less than 2 minutes and he could feel his pasty English skin *fry*

“Isn't it beautiful?” Light sighed, head tipped back to soak up the sun. 

“It's hot” L replied simply, “But yes, It is”

They hailed a taxi to their hotel and checked in. Light was astonished at the luxury of the place. It looked like something straight out of a movie. Gilded mirrors, cool marble floors and shimmering chandeliers all caught the eye. The opulent, plus velvet couches and giant fan palms dotted around reception added to the general air of grandeur. 

They located their penthouse suite and Light nearly lost his mind at the splendor all around him. The wide glass windows and panoramic view of the city of Athens sprawled out all around them brought tears to his eyes. 

L joined him by the window and wrapped an arm around Light's waist. 

“L, this is amazing” Light shook his head in awe, the sunlight caught in his hair and L decided that yes, his view was amazing too as he stared at Light's profile. 

Light sensed L's stare and turned to him with a small smile. 

“Are we looking at the same view?”

“No. But both are beautiful” L reached up to play with Light's hair. Sun kissed, the strands shimmered in the light of the setting sun.

Light caught L's hand and turned it so L's palm was face up. He dropped a kiss to L's wrist in a tender gesture of devotion. 

“Not as beautiful as you”

L smirked at this little game they played. 

“Shall we order room service and some champagne? I don't feel like going out tonight. I just want to stay here with you and watch the sun set”

Light sighed, because that just sounded fucking perfect. They ordered several traditional Italian dishes, a bottle of champagne and some Tiramisu for L. 

They worked together to unpack and settle into the opulent rooms. L made a mental note to get Light in that giant bathtub with him as soon as possible, because a bath like that deserved to be enjoyed properly. 

Their dinner arrived and together they ate at the dining table, moaning at the delectable gourmet food. 

“You know, I could get used to this luxury” Light sighed whimsically, “Gourmet Italian cuisine and this view… you're spoiling me, L”

L smiled around a bite of Tagliatelle, “You're worth it. Besides, you will get used to it. I plan on spoiling you forever”

“Baby, it's just… I don't want people to assume I'm only with you because you're loaded” Light frowned uncertainly. 

“Fuck what people think” Was L's smart response, “The whole world can think whatever the fuck it wants. The only thing important to me is you, and I know you aren't with me because I'm rich, which is *why* I want to spoil you so much. You certainly spoil me”

Light flushed with pride as L's smile turned sultry as he alluded to Light's sexual prowess. 

“Also, when we marry everything I own and have becomes yours too. Though I suppose that's true now as well. What I'm trying to say, rather badly, is that your fears are completely unfounded” L sampled a bite of paella but spat it out in disgust. He'd eaten a prawn and he *hated* them. 

Light promptly dug out all the prawns and loaded them on his plate. He adored them and he wanted to spare L the misfortune of eating one again. 

“That, right there, is how you spoil me” L reached for Light's hand, “You do countless small things, sweet things that show me just how much you care. All the money in the world pales in comparison to that you know”

Light smiled and munched on a prawn, his happiness flashing in his eyes and reflecting the rays of the setting sun. L thought they looked like melting caramel. 

“However, if you really want to thank me for this lovely hotel and gorgeous meal… How about becoming my table so I can lick this tiramisu off those hot abs of yours?”

Light groaned and shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth as quickly as humanly possible. He had a debt to repay and if that meant having L's tongue and mouth on his skin he was most eager to repay it. 

“Where do you want your table?” Light teased, picking up the dessert with a naughty smile. 

“Hmmm… this might get a bit messy” L's own smirk matched Light's, “Go lay down on the couch, and do not talk. Tables can't talk”

Light shrugged off his shirt and then decided he might as well just get entirely naked (tables don't wear slacks do they?) 

L walked over to Light and took the dessert off him. Light had just seconds to get comfy before he giggled at the sensation of the cold dessert being smeared on his stomach, thighs and cock. 

“Hoooly shit” Light yelped, hips bucking when L lapped at a bit of cream he'd artfully smeared on Light's cock. 

“Tables do not talk” L repeated, a mock-stern look in his eyes. 

Light bit his lip and squirmed in delicious anticipation. The cool dessert sank into his rapidly overheating skin, and with every lick of L's tongue the throbbing and pulsing in his cock intensified. He really hoped L would migrate from his belly soon. He shifted his hips and breathed heavily, cock jerking against his stomach. 

L was making happy little moans of pleasure as he licked and sucked at Light's skin and Light wondered if this alone was going to be enough to get him off. His cock was throbbing with want and the melting gloop running down it felt way better than it should have. 

He barely managed to suppress a strangled moan as he felt L's head dip lower, fluffy black hair dragging across his hip bone. 

When L drew the head of his cock into his mouth and sucked, Light forgot he was a table and shrieked, hips bucking wildly as he scrabbled to sink his fingers into L's hair. L decided he would let it go since he rather enjoyed making his boyfriend scream with pleasure. He hollowed his cheeks and swallowed him down to the base, curling his tongue around sticky, straining flesh and sucking strongly. 

“Oh my god, oh fuck, L!”

L drew back until Light's cock nearly slipped from his mouth then descended again, moaning at the sensation of all that hot, throbbing flesh pressed against his tongue and down his throat. Light's fingers spasmed jerkily against his hair and then L was rewarded with pulse of come as Light writhed and shrieked above him. 

L never let up on his ruthless pass until Light collapsed back onto the couch, chest heaving as he panted for breath. 

“That was the best desert I've ever had” L declared once he had lifted off from Light's cock. He lapped at the tip of Light's dick and giggled slightly when his hips skittered back. His poor love was clearly feeling a bit over sensitive now. 

“Hey L…” Light finally managed once his racing heart calmed, “How about I be a chair next?”

L cocked his head, a bit confused at that. “Um, what?”

“I want you to sit on my face” Light grinned and L went bright red, the penny finally dropping. He shrugged and pressed their sticky bodies together, kissing Light deeply. 

If Light had taken to being a piece of furniture then who was he to argue? 

As Light grabbed L's hips and positioned him over his face L soon found it impossible to do more than make garbled little noises of pleasure as he felt that tongue lap at him. 

Light speared his tongue inside and L melted against him, a long, drawn out groan escaping him as Light ate him out slowly with a leisurely prowess that had L grinding down on his tongue and rocking his hips lewdly. 

The pleasure built and built until L's body tensed up, like a bowstring waiting to be drawn. Light moaned against his hole and flicked at him strongly and that shot him forward into ecstacy. 

L came abruptly, eyes wide open and a scream caught in his throat. He stared out at the city of Athens and knew in that moment this memory was just as beautiful and perfect as when he had gazed at the stars with Beyond atop the Pyramids. 

He whimpered and shivered through the aftershocks, the city lights blurring as his eyes filled with tears. Light was still licking and kissing him, softer and more gentle now, and he rested his head against the back of the couch, head, heart and body reeling. 

“You okay babe?” Light asked, gently skimming his hands across L's thighs. 

“Yes” L whispered, and he realised with a start that he *was* okay. Messy, sated and absolutely, devastatingly in love, they curled up on the couch together and watched the lights burn brightly in the distance. 

Tonight those lights burnt just for them.


	29. Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light are having a blast on their holiday but Light has a very special mission to accomplish: Finding L the perfect engagement ring *without* him finding out what he's up to!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daaaaaaw, I adore Light in this. Normally I'm all 'Meh' about Light, but I can't help but really feel for him in this fic. He is just so earnest!
> 
> .... Obviously I love L more though :D 👌❤

L and Light are having a blast on their holiday but Light has a very special mission to accomplish: Finding L the perfect engagement ring *without* him finding out what he's up to! 

Light had been checking out the various jewelers for the last few days. There were several in Santorini, and a few had jumped out at him. 

The problem he had was finding the time and the opportunity to sneak away from L long enough to have a look. He had already contacted his mother and had had the rest of the money from his apartments sale transfered over. Now he just needed the right time to go and find the ring. 

He wanted to do this by himself for three reasons. The first being L would undoubtedly offer to pay for the ring and Light was *not* having that. The second, was because he wanted it to be a genuine surprise for L. He had made plans, and at the end of the holiday in Mykonos he planned on proposing to L properly on top of the picturesque hillside, famed throughout Greece for its romance and the sheer amount of marriage proposals that had taken place there. 

The third was that he wanted to take this step by himself. He wanted to relish being able to buy his *boyfriend* an engagement ring and not hear the whispers of ‘faggot’ or ‘freak’ ring through his mind. 

Those cruel voices no longer spoke to him. They had been burned away by both L and his Therapists words. He was no longer their victim, and what better way to prove that than by finding L the perfect ring and proposing to him? 

“Light, do you think we should get a few of these for the apartment?” 

They were wandering a large open plan market and L was captivated by the ornate tea light holders. 

“If you like them. I think they would look very pretty” Light answered, though his stomach and nose were leading him in a different direction. The Greeks certainly enjoyed their food, and so did he. He'd already picked up several Greek cookery books, and planned on experimenting when they returned home. He still felt giddy when he thought about that. Their home. Their apartment. 

L rolled his eyes as he realised why Light was so distracted; food, of course. L paid for the tealight holders and wandered over to Light. He looked like he was in heaven as he sampled the various dishes the vendor's left out for their customers to try. 

L's eye was caught by a particularly gaudy sequin art painting he just *knew* Mello would adore, and he walked away from Light to the art store. 

“Be right back!” L called over his shoulder, already vanishing into the crowd. Light perked up as he watched L walk away from him. Now was his chance!

The minute he was gone, Light leaned closer to the vendors and asked, in halting English, if they could recommend any Jewelry stores. The middle aged woman giggled and shot L a knowing look. 

“For your boyfriend, yes?”

Light flushed and nodded his head. 

“I know of Donti's. In fact, my cousin works there…”

Light smiled. Maybe this was fate?

“I need to buy his ring as soon as possible because I want to propose to him on Kenosis hill”

The couple shared a soft look. That was where their journey to married life started too. 

“Problem is, I haven't had the opportunity to sneak away” Light admitted, “Can you tell me where this Jewelry store is? And what time its open till?”

The lady, a Guizina Zucelos, said she could do one better. She scribbled down her phone number and passed it to Light. 

“Ring when your boyfriend is asleep tonight. I will ask my cousin to open the shop especially for you”

“Really?!” Light was flabbergasted the woman would go to such lengths to help him in his plight. 

“Of course, it is our duty to help you find this special ring while you are visiting our country” The lady jerked her chin at L, who was walking back towards him, “Good luck with your mission!”

“Thank you so much!” Light bowed his head, a big grin on his face as he slipped the piece of paper baring her phone number into his pocket. 

“Chatting up the locals into giving you more free food, you greedy thing?” L asked as he approached. 

Light took the heavy picture from him and scowled at it. He really hoped L wasn't planning on hanging that up in their apartment… 

“Mello” L explained. 

“Ah. Of course. He will love it” Light tucked the frame under his arm and waved at the sweet couple. 

“I envy you that, you know” L smiled wistfully, “You can just talk to anyone, can't you, Babe?”

Light grinned at L and linked his free hand with his, “Shall we go drop these back at the hotel? Then we can go on the chocolate making tour you were drooling about yesterday”

L's eyes sparkled, “Yes. Let's go, can't leave that chocolate waiting for me too long”

They walked back to the hotel together, both thinking of very different things. Where L was thinking about all the gourmet, handmade chocolate he was going to eat, Light was thinking about sneaking out under the cover of darkness and finding the perfect ring… 

*******************

As luck would have it, after eating more chocolate than Light had thought humanly possible, L was rather sleepy and contented for the reminder of the evening. He reminded Light of a pampered house cat as he sprawled on the couch of their hotel, idly flicking through a paperback novel with drooping eyes. 

Light glance at the clock. Five past eight. L looked half asleep and he really didn't want to inconvenience the kind couple by arriving too late. No, what he needed was for L to have a doze for an hour or so. Save for drugging him, Light knew of one other foolproof way to get L to have a nap. 

Light stroked L's leg gently, admiring the way the nearly hairless skin and muscles felt beneath his palm. L stopped reading and glanced up at Light, an amused little smile on his lips. 

“You have beautiful legs, you know” Light purred, moving a little higher and squeezing L's thigh. Almost without think L shifted his legs further apart and sighed as those hands inched higher still. When Light ground the heel of his palm into his soft inner thighs L's breath hitched. 

“And what's between them is even better…”

L moaned at the way Light knelt next to him and *nuzzled* at his groin. Lust sizzled through him and he lifted his hips, head tipping back with a sigh. 

Light wasted no time in yanking L's shorts and boxers down and taking the soft cock in hand. He squeezed around the base gently and L murmured his approval, hips shifting as he began to harden under Light's touch. 

“Light” L moaned when he felt Light gently pump his length to full, aching hardness. He felt dizzy with lust and lay back, quite content to let Light do whatever he wanted with him. 

Light seemed to sense that, because he shuffled closer and gently traced the veins of L's cock with his tongue. The slow drag of slick muscle against his sensitive skin made L's toes curl against the edge of the couch. 

Light pressed wet kisses to the twitching flesh in front of him then wrapped his lips around the head. He tasted the faint tang of clean sweat and salt and moaned throatily. He loved doing this now, and thinking back to the first time he had tried this with L made him feel like an idiot. If only he had known then what he knew now… 

‘No. There's no point in thinking like that. I need to get him off so hard he blacks out again’

“What?! Aaaahhhhh!”

Light grinned around his mouthful as he surged down and swallowed L's cock to the root. L certainly hadn't been expecting *that* after his slow and teasing prelude. 

“Oh fuck, light, fuck, more!” L clutched at his hair, body tense as he fucked up into that sucking heat. Light moaned around his cock and was rewarded with a dribble of precome. 

“I can't… fuck! Light, I can't hold back!” L whined, his head thrashing against the cushion as Light brought him towards a swift and furious orgasam. 

‘Don't hold back, Baby’ Light thought, lathing the head of L's cock mercilessly. He tongued the slit and L screeched, hips bucking wildly as he pulsed out his release. Light swallowed each jet eagerly, moaning and suckling on L's cock until L's moans subsided into soft whimpers of satisfaction. 

Light took his time in kissing and sucking the softening cock until he heard the sound he was waiting for: a soft snore. 

Cautiously, Light pulled away and peeked up at L. As predicted, he was out for the count. 

Light gently pulled up L's underwear and pants, before placing a soft kiss to the beautifully unblemished skin on L's taut belly. He pulled out the ring measurer he had picked up from the market and shuffled through the small metal rings. L had long, elegant fingers so he decided to try the smaller sizes. He smirked as he successfully measured L's ring finger and made a note of his size. L hadn't so much as stirred. He placed L's hand across his chest and pressed a little kiss to the finger that would soon be adorned with his ring. 

‘I should leave him a note. Say I've gone out to get more seafood or something. He should buy that if I'm not too long’ 

Light scrawled the note, grabbed his coat and took one last, longing look at his slumbering lover before slipping out of the room. 

*****************

Light hailed a cab to the shopping district and was relieved to see Guizina and a younger woman (he assumed to be her cousin) waiting for him outside of respectable looking jewelers. 

Light thanked the driver and rushed to meet them, his face flushed with excitement. 

“Hey!”

Light smiled at the outgoing young woman and thanked them again for agreeing to help him. He knew it was about more than a sale to them. It had gone nine now and the shops had been closed for hours. The just genuinely wanted to help. 

“Hi! Come in, let's see what we can find for you. You've got his ring size, right?”

“Yes, I measured his ring finger when he was sleeping” Light answered as he followed them into the shop. The lights flickered on and Light glanced around, excitement simmering in his belly. 

“Any thoughts on styles or metal?” The younger girl, Aryin, asked with a sparkle in her eye. This was one of the best bits about her job. She loved helping customers find that special piece of jewelry. 

“He has this understated style, he's really slender and quite striking to look at” Guizina answered for Light, “Show him the platinum bands first. I think they are the most fitting to… L, was it?”

Light nodded. Platinum. Costly. Would probably cost him the entirety of his little money pot he had left. Was L worth it? 

Absolutely. 

“I was thinking of a band with a little diamond in it, or maybe a couple going across it. I have about £9,000… will that be enough?”

Guizina and Aryin shared a soft look. This Japanese man was so adorable. Of course that was enough! They had bands to suit all budgets, and their most expensive males wedding band was just over the amount Light had specified. They unlocked a cabinet and Light's breath caught in his throat as his eyes settled on a slender, three stone ring on the top of the display cushion. 

“That one” Light breathed, “The one on the top with the three diamonds”

“Oh, that is stunning” Aryin nodded. She plucked it out of the velvet cushion and handed it to Light. “It's retailing at £9,300 but don't worry about that. We'll round it up to £9,000. It's solid platinum with three 2 Karat diamonds. It really is one of the best pieces we've had in store but due to its price… well, we've sold a grand total of two since we've been open”

Light twirled the ring between his fingers, admiring the way it gleamed in the bright lights. 

“Make that three. This is the ring for him” Light smiled and bowed his head again, “Thank you so much for waiving off the other £300. I'm literally putting all I have into getting this for him”

Light paid for it and chose a sleek black ring box. He couldn't wait to get to that hilltop now. He knew L would probably scold him for spending all of his money on a ring but he also knew L would be delighted with it. 

It was nearing ten by now and Light asked his new friends if there was anywhere nearby he could pick up some seafood to collaborate his story. They smirked and directed him to the night market. Light grabbed some oysters and shrimp and hurried back to the hotel.

By the time he got back L was awake and he was waiting for him with that amused smirk of his. 

“You do know you could have just ordered from room service, right?”

Light shrugged and placed his bag on tie counter, the ring box a comforting weight in his jacket pocket. 

“Yeah, I know. But I really fancied fresh. Anyway, someone was fast asleep”

“Yes well, someone decided to suck that someone's soul straight out of their cock” L shot back with a little smirk. 

Light smiled back at him smugly and dropped down next to him. Tomorrow they would be leaving Santorini for Mykonos. He thanked his luck he had met such nice locals who had helped him in his mission.

They cuddled for a while and watched some television, before they both decided it was time to go to bed. They made love slowly, clutching onto each other as they succumed to the passionate addiction they had for each other. 

Long after L had dozed off Light lay awake, alert with excitement. He was messaging Naomi, who was thrilled at the news. She had told Matt and Mello, who had in turn told Anton and Fenzi. The ‘Engagement/Welcome home’ party of the year was subsequently being planned. Light smiled at that but his smile faded a little as he considered how his father would feel about it. How his work colleagues would react. 

L would say ‘Fuck them’ and dismiss their opinion, but Light couldn't do that. Maybe it was a side effect of living a lie for so long- needing everyone's approval? 

L draped an arm over his chest and pressed closer and Light sighed softly. Did their approval even really matter in comparison to this? He closed his eyes and breathed in L's clean, warm scent and realised that no, it did not. 

Nothing else in the world mattered in moments like this… 

******************

“I am *trying* my best, Sachiko, but this is all moving so quickly for me. They've been dating less than six months and Light is saying he wants to marry him?”

Sachiko rolled her eyes at her pacing husband. Admittedly, she thought it was a bit fast too, but it was clear as day how much they adored each other. Light had risked his life to save L and had stood by him during his long recovery. She knew in her heart the love they shared was a special, pure kind. 

“It's happening” Sachiko stated firmly, “Light has already bought the ring”

Souichiro threw his hands up in exasperated annoyance. He really wished he had a whiskey right about now. 

“And what about work? Do you think they will really be accepted?” Souichiro softened his tone. He was *concerned* for his son. He had worked too hard to let a bad decision impact on his career, and if he was being honest he did not like Lawliet one bit. The fact his son wanted to marry that arrogant brat rankled him. 

Sachiko pointed to the couch and clasped her hands together, praying to the gods for patience when dealing with her husband. He was improving, he had come to terms with the fact Light was gay and that was actually a *completely normal* thing for him to be. She suspected what he was struggling with here was his personal dislike of their son's intended. 

“I know you have… issues with L. I believe you aren't his favourite person in the world either, but for Light's sake and as his parents, we must overcome them. L could have had you fired, we both know that Souichiro. He didn't because of his feelings for Light. It wouldn't hurt for you to show him the same courtesy and restraint. If there is any… teasing or name calling or what have you in work, I expect you to defend your son *and* his husband” Sachiko smiled in amusement, “Not that I doubt for a second either of them could defend themselves against such things. Especially L”

“I don't like it” Souichiro muttered sullenly as he sank down opposite his wife. 

“It doesn't matter if you like it or not. It is happening. Accept it” Sachiko counselled, “And accept that L is Light's choice”

Souichiro Yagami sighed heavily. He was was *dreading* this engagement party Lawliet's little clique were organizing… 

Meanwhile, Naomi was doodling on a notepad, ideas floating through her mind regarding the engagement party. She knew L wasn't a fan of grand celebrations, but how fitting would it be if they held it at their favourite hang out. It might even help the place cement it's ‘underground gay vibe’ and bring it all out in the open. Why the hell should it even be something kept underwraps in the first place? 

“Ah… Misora-San…”

Naomi smirked as Kitamura stood sheepishly at her office door. 

“What is it, ‘Boss’” she purred, a sly smile on her lips as she uttered that word. She had the man wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. 

“I have been trying to contact L to find out when he and Light are due back at work?”

Naomi cocked an eyebrow, “In two weeks time. They're in Greece at the moment. Anyway, as you are here I am inviting you to their engagement party three weeks on Saturday. I think it will show… a positive statement if the head of the police attends such a gathering, don't you agree?”

“I can't really say no, can I?” Kitamura sighed. 

“No,” Naomi purred, “You can't”

*******************

“Light. You know when we’re married” 

Light turned to L, wondering just what kind of random question he was going to get this time, not that he minded, He was glad of the destruction. The journey to Mykonos was taking forever due to a sudden dip in the weather. The bus was hot, the passengers were loud and he just very much wanted a bath right about now. 

“Yes, Baby?”

“Do you think we will argue over Tupperware and shelving and stuff like that?”

Light blinked. “Um?”

“And will we still have sex everyday? I mean, we probably won't when we have kids running around the place and all but…” L shrugged, “I don't really have much experience with normal married couples. What is your mum and dad's marriage like?”

Light smiled at that question. “It used to be very traditional, on the surface at least. My dad made the rules and all the financial decisions. But beneath that they used to bicker about who put that pan there and who's turn it was to clean out the rice cooker. They squabble and tease each other a lot too. After… well, after I found out about Kiyomi's attempted deception and dad's part in it my mother seemed to change before my eyes. Now *she* is the one who runs the show. It's quite funny to see. I don't believe any marriage is perfect, L, but the best ones are between people who would genuinely die for one another. Mum and dad love each other just the way you and I do” Light took a swig of soda, “Plus, we are already at optimum marriage level. We spent three days trying to decide if we should put shelving up in the spare room, remember?”

L's eyes widened. That was right, they had done that! 

He flipped over the magazine he had found on the bus and showed it to Light. 

All of the weird questions suddenly made sense. L had been subtly doing a ‘what kind of married couple are you’ quiz with him! 

“And what kind of married couple will we be?” Light smiled, watching as L ticked their answers and totaled up their score. 

“Type A. A match made in heaven” L declared proudly. 

“I never used to hold those ladies magazines in high regard, but I think this one is okay. It’s right about that anyway” Light rested his head against L's shoulder with a small sigh. 

“I can't wait to argue with you about whose turn it is to do the dishes” L admitted with a whimsical smile, “Even though it will probably always be your turn”

Light rolled his eyes, counting down the miles until they arrived at Mykonos and the place the locals dubbed ‘Lover's Hill’


	30. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day finally comes when Light can give his Boyfriend his ring. But before that, they decide to make a dream for their future a reality...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone should have taught these boys it is rude (but hallirious) to play with their food 😂

Light sighed in contentment as he felt the heat of the sun soak into his skin. Their travels were drawing to a close and he was both happy and sad about that. He was looking forward to going back home and seeing his friends and family. Hell, he was even looking forward to going back to work and normality! 

Still. He loved Greece and the memories they had made here together would last them a lifetime. Maybe they could return here on their Honeymoon? 

Light shot a sidelong glance at L, who was sitting in the shade and sipping on a cocktail as he read some murder mystery, just as Light had imagined him doing. 

L flicked a page and looked up, smiling at Light as he caught him gazing at him longingly. 

Light just smiled in return and continued gazing at him. Until L picked up an empty soda cup and threw it at him, anyway. 

"Stop staring at me, you giant creeper!"

Light easily dodged the incoming missile and swam closer to where L was lounging by the side of their villa's pool. 

"Just admiring the scenery" Light defended, half pulling himself out of the pool and resting on his elbows. It was L's turn to stare then at the impressive show of upper body strength, straining muscles and golden skin. 

'Ugh. He is so fucking hot' L thought, eyes fixed to the glistening abdominal muscles he had quite recently licked tiramisu off. God damn he needed to do that again. Maybe with cheesecake? Chocolate sauce? Oh the possibilities… 

"Stop staring, creeper" Light shot back, a small smirk on his lips as he basked under L's appraisal. 

"Stop being so sexy and I will" L retorted, giving up on his book and placing it to one side. He was far more interested in the golden-skinned Adonis swimming naked in the pool than some crummy murder mystery. 

"Going to join me? I can even help you put on your suncream?" Light purred, thinking back to what had happened yesterday when they had *tried* that. Who knew suncream could make such good lube? 

"Hmmm. Okay, you've convinced me" L hooked a finger in his mouth as he watched Light launch himself out of the water by the side of the pool. "Wait! Go back and do that again"

Light frowned but climbed back into the pool and made to hoist himself back out. He smirked as he realised L was snapping a few photos on his phone. And L called *him* the creeper. 

"New screensaver" L declared, "Definitely new screensaver material. And don't start with the whole 'You call me a creeper' shit, Yagami, because I just so happened to spot *your* recent change of screensaver yesterday"

Light flushed. Obviously L would have to have spotted that. 

"You were cute!" Light protested with a little shrug, "And covered in drool, and snoring…"

"Sounds stunning. How photogenic I am" L replied in a deadpan tone of voice as he sighed over his new screensaver. Light rolled his eyes and climbed out of the pool again, sauntering over to L with the feline grace L had come to so admire. 

"You *are* stunning" Light knelt next to L and tenderly cupped his face in his hands, "You are everything to me"

L's breath caught at the fierce devotion in Light's eyes. He didn't deserve such a pure love and he thanked god he had it. 

He leaned in and kissed Light hard, hands carding through his hair and attempting to convey all of his love and gratitude to Light in his kiss. 

"I love you too" L traced Light's earnest face with his fingers. "My Light"

They kissed for long moments before Lifht pulled away with a playful smile. He tugged on L's hand to get him to rise and dragged him over to the poolside. Their laughs and shrieks as they tried to wrestle each other into the pool rang out through the sunny countryside. 

Light ended up winning, but didn't have long to relish his victory as he threw L into the pool. He was laughing his head off as L resurfaced, hair sopping wet and hanging in his eyes. 

"Oh you are going to regret *that*" L surged forward, he shot out his arm and yanked Light's ankle. Light tumbled into the pool after him. 

Light spluttered for air and pulled L to him roughly, pressing their bodies together and kissing him with a rising passion. 

They played together like boys, splashing about and trying to best each other, but they kissed and touched each other like a young couple very much in love. 

As they basked together under the rays of the setting sun, Light interlinked their hands and held them up so he could gaze at them. Tomorrow, there would be a ring on L's finger… 

*******************

"Lover's Hill" L mumbled around a mouthful of pasta, "I've heard about that place, it's quite famous. Can we take a picnic and spend the day there"

Light nodded, reassuring himself the ringbox was still in his coat pocket. Thank goodness, it was. He was paranoid about keeping it safe, if he lost it he would be beyond devastated. 

"Let's go to that Deli and Bakery down the street then" L linked their hands and pulled Light towards the sources of the delectable smells drifting down the quiet, rural street. 

They choose a selection of cakes, pastries and other delicacies and Light made a point of picking up some champagne and an old wicker picnic basket from the local store. 

L thought that was just adorable so he chipped in and bought Light a seafood platter. He couldn't wait to sit on top of the hill and feed them to him. He'd even suffer through holding prawns to do it. 

"Okay, now we are all set" Light declared once they had packed up their picnic. "It's a half hours walk from the river"

They strolled together, occasionally stopping to take photos as they went. 

"We need to come back here, explore more of it" Light sighed, gazing out at the Olive orchards littering the volcanic slopes, "There's still a lot of vineyards and wineries you haven't been to yet too" he added temptingly. 

"Yes, we will definitely come back here. Maybe even live here, oneday? Can you imagine it: Me, you, a Villa on the hill. Flanked by the volcanoes and overlooking the sea… maybe even a little vineyard of our own. Some ponies maybe… children, one day"

Light sighed at L's dream. That was what he wanted too, to spend his days in this beautiful country alongside the most beautiful man in the world. 

"Do you think that's a silly dream?" L mumbled, embarrassed as he realised Light was just staring at him. 

"I think that is a beautiful reality, L. That is our future. It's perfect"

Encouraged, L smiled and continued expanding on his dream, "I know it can't happen yet. We are still young and have so many more cases and challenges ahead of us in work but… an early retirement with you sounds wonderful. Maybe in five years time?"

Light's mouth went dry. Wow. L was really serious about this. Five years wasn't a long time but it suddenly seemed like centuries away. 

"Yes. Let's do it" Light agreed, "We could even marry here" he gazed up at the looming hill beyond. He could just imagine a simple ceremony under that ancient wild olive tree. A white gazebo, chairs for the small circle of friends and family to watch. L, his L standing under the tree waiting for him. 

It brought tears to his eyes and he hastily blinked them away. 

"You're crying?" L reached for Light's face, "Why, Baby? What's wrong?"

Light shook his head and smiled through his tears, "I'm not sad at all, Love. I'm happy. You've made my dreams come true, you know. I can't wait to make yours come true in turn"

He led L up to the hill and they settled under the ancient olive tree. It was late afternoon, and a few tourists milled around. It was relatively quiet though, and Light planned on asking L to marry him at twilight since it was L's favourite time of day. Since that was a few hours away yet, they both tucked into their picnic, ravenous after the walk. 

L made short work of the pastries while Light dug into the seafood platter L had bought him. He was touched when L plucked up a prawn and held it to his lips. The sweet moment was broken when L wiggled the prawn and said 'Please don't eat me, Light' in a silly little voice. 

Light giggled at L's antics and made to snap at 'Mr Prawn' but L pulled it away with a shriek. A few other couples turned to look at them with fond smiles on their faces, because their playfulness was really cute. 

"Get in my mouth, Mr Prawn! You can't escape me!" Light lunged at L and knocked him flat onto his back. L landed with a soft 'Ugh' and watched as Light leaned down and bit poor Mr Prawn's head clean off. 

"You monster!" L gasped in delight. 

"He was asking for it. I'm going for his wife and kids next" Light growled 'evilly' as he reached for the platter. 

L was in stitches as Light plucked up three prawns and gave them all tragic monologues about how they didn't want to die (even though they were already dead) before he chucked them into his mouth and crunched on them. 

"Evil man" L shook his head, "I was really started to feel for poor Mrs Prawn there"

"She was having an affair with the oyster, don't get sucked into that whores lies" Light mumbled around his mouthful. L burst into laughter, clutching at his sides as they began to hurt. This simple playfulness of Light's was so endearing. After everything they had been through together, sitting under a tree and playing with their food like children was a balm. The happiness and carefree moments between them eased the memory of Beyond and those long months of pain and recovery like nothing else could. 

"But what's this? Light plucked up an Oyster, "It's the man himself. Should we ask him if it's true. The punishment is death by eating"

They decided between them that the oyster was indeed guilty of infidelity with Mrs Prawn so Light ate her too. In between laughter and sips of champagne, the pair of them accused and convicted each piece of seafood until Light was so stuffed he couldn't move. He collapsed back against the tree with a big smile on his face. 

The sun was starting its swift descent and Light's skin tingled with anticipation. The other visitors were beginning to drift off and leave. Soon it would be just him and L. 

When L excused himself to go use the restrooms based at the bottom of the hill, Light reached into his pocket and pulled out the ringbox. He opened it and admired the way the diamonds sparkled in the sun. He couldn't wait to see it on L's finger… 

They had stuffed themselves all afternoon, and not much was left in the picnic hamper but that didn't matter to Light. He'd sneaked another bottle of champagne, some strawberries and some dipping chocolate with him. He was amazed he'd managed to keep them concealed from L all afternoon, but then he had managed to hide the ring these last 10 days too. 

He spotted L wandering back up the hill and laid out their dessert. He admired the way the fading light made L's pale skin glow so subtly. His wild black hair and those eyes he had found beguiling from the very start made him sigh. L was stunning and he was *his* 

"What's this?" L dropped down next to him. He shivered slightly and pulled on his hoodie. 

"Dessert" Light plucked up a strawberry, "Strawberry-San here is guilty of the most heinous crime. She said you wasn't the most beautiful man in the world"

L smiled softly. "She was telling the truth, I'm not. That man would be you"

Light held the strawberry to L's lips, "Wrong. Now she has to pay the price"

L rolled his eyes but ate the strawberry. Around them flocks of starlings burst into the sky and circled the city below them. They looked like little darts as they weaved and dived in tight formation, and the young men were content to leave off playing with their food to just sit and watch this natural spectacle of beauty. 

Finally, finally the last of the couples left. They were alone under the twilight sky. 

"L…"

L, who had been half asleep and dreaming awake as he watched the stars glimmer above, startled and sat up straighter. "Hmm?"

"I have something I want to ask you. I've asked you before, but… I wanted it to be special" Light slowly pulled out the ring box from his pocket and held it out to L. He opened it and smiled as he saw L's eyes drop to the shining band with its stunning triad of diamonds. 

"Oh my god…" L's eyes were huge. He had been joking when he said about Light buying him a ring for his birthday. When had Light bought this? And how could he have afforded such an expensive ring in the first place? 

"Baby, I love you with all of my heart. I adore every inch of you, and I promise I will spend the rest of my life cherishing you. Will you please marry me?"

L swallowed thickly. He couldn't speak so just nodded his head, tears slipping from his eyes. Light took out the ring and slipped it on his finger before pulling away to look at his tearful *fiance* 

"Light… how?" L had to ask, admiring the way the platinum and diamonds sparkled. 

"I've been planning this for weeks" Light admitted, "I used what I had left from my apartment sale and before you say anything, I *wanted* to buy this for you. I had to. I want nothing else than to be a Lawliet"

"I need to buy you a ring then" L whispered, "Fiance"

They kissed each other, their tears of happiness intermingling as they stroked each others hair. 

"I want to make love to you" Light mutmered, lips trailing down L's neck. 

L shivered because damn if that wasn't tempting. Still, there was a huge risk of discovery up here, not to mention the security cameras below the hill… 

"Let's go back to the villa, and we can make love all night" L mumbled against Light's lips. Light deepened the kiss and sucked L's tongue into his mouth, making it clear he was up for that plan. 

Together they packed up their belongings and held hands as they walked down Lover's Hill. L's engagement ring flashed in the dim lights of the city and flickered with each step they took. 

Light held him close and walked quickly, needing to get back to their villa as soon as possible. L smiled at Light's eagerness and matched his pace. He couldn't wait to get back either.

He couldn't wait to find a ring as special the one Light had found him. But for tonight, he would just have to show Light how grateful he was for his love and he had a feeling Light would find it a very *satisfying* experience indeed…


	31. Stormclouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light's homecoming becomes a stormy affair. Anton is feeling things he shouldn't , Light is jealous and something is seriously wrong with Naomi. L and Light have their first fight when tensions boil over...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after a few chapters of fluff and smut we get the D.R.A.M.A 👌

"L! You're home! Thank god, I don't have to deal with these assholes by myself anymore" Naomi atrode over to L and wrapped her arms around her best friend. L grinned into Naomi's shoulder as he was enveloped in a bone crushing squeeze. 

"Ah, my harpy, I've missed you too" L pressed a kiss to her neck and squeezed her back, "I will help you deal with these assholes now"

"Fuck you, man! And outta my way, Bitch!" Mello retorted, shoving Naomi aside and giving L a big hug of his own. L laughed as he hugged Mello back. They'd been gone nearly a month, and damn had he missed these bunch of assholes. 

Between all the hugs, greetings and questions, Light and L felt a bit overwhelmed. It was only when the conversation finally lulled that the elephant in the room was addressed, namely L's new bit of bling. 

"Oh. My. God" Mello snatched up L's hand and gasped at the stunning band, "This has to be the most beautiful ring I've ever seen, and that includes Matt's"

"Jesus Christ, Mello" Light groaned in horror. Matt, who was stuffing his face with crisps, nearly choked. 

"Congratulations, guys" Raye smiled, doing his best to gloss over that unfortunate comment about Matt's 'ring' "So when's the big day?"

L and Light shared a look. They hadn't even thought about that much yet. 

"Leave off, let them enjoy being engaged first" Naomi nudged her partner in the ribs, "Besides, we've got an awesome party to get through first! This saturday. At La Mode. It's already been organized and half the guys from the office will be there too" Naomi chirped excitedly. Light and Raye shared a look of concern. Naomi never chirped and giggled like that usually… 

"... Really?" L tilted his head, a small frown creasing his forehead. 

Somehow he had imagined most of the guys from the office would want to shy away from such a venue least their manly hetrosexuality be forever tarnished by being in such a place. Also, Naomi was acting strange… 

"Oh yeah, Kitamura's coming too" Naomi's smile turned sly, "And funding an open bar…"

L sighed. While he appreciated Kitamura was a bit of an idiot he didn't deserve all of this. Naomi had gotten what she wanted out of him and the slight to himself and Light had long been fixed. It wasn't fair to keep on at the guy now. 

"Back off him" L warned Naomi in a quiet tone, "Enough is enough"

Naomi shrugged and smirked. She would decide when enough was enough thank you. She shot L a challenging smile and L rolled his eyes at her, not understanding where these mercurial moods were coming from. Naomi was sharp, surely she knew there was only so long she could get away with what she was doing? 

"On your head be it, Nomie' L thought, his earlier good mood soured a little. Maybe he would have a quiet word with Kitamura and try and smooth things over. The blackmail had been going on for months now. It had gone from being amusing and something of a joke and it was getting ugly now. Despite his slights and downfalls L actually did like the man. He would step in and stop things from getting any further and he definitely intended to find out what the fuck the deal was with his Harpy. 

"I mean it" L replied firmly, when Naomi brushed past him. He caught her arm and met her eyes, "No more. It's run its course. Drop it"

Light shrugged when Naomi turned her head and glared at him. Yes, he and L had discussed it, and he had mentioned to L he felt it highly distasteful a senior officer would resort to Blackmail to get what she wanted. But L had thought that too! It wasn't his fault if he and L just happened to agree on it, so why was Naomi glaring at him like that? Hell, what she was doing was illegal to start with. It said a lot about Kitamura's love for his wife that he had allowed things to carry on for so long. The man might be a dirty old pervert with a soft spot for secretaries half his age, but he was still a family man. He had endured the indignity of the blackmail in order to keep his family together. 

"So…Drinks?" Mello held up a cocktail shaker. 

"Yes" L and Light said together. Naomi was not happy L had told her to back off, and if they were going to have to put up with her in a mood (which was *never* a pretty sight) they would do it drunk. 

Later, after a few drinks and once everyone had gone home, L turned to Light, concern etched on his face. 

"There's something off with Nomie, Light. Something… I don't know, she just isn't herself. Her moods just flipped from one to the next so suddenly. I tried to have a quiet word with Raye and he said she's been like it for months, but these last few weeks she's been even worse"

Light sighed and nodded his head. L had been recovering so of course he hadn't picked up on it, but this change in Naomi certainly wasn't something new. Hell, even Mello had picked up on it. Perhaps now L was on the mend and back home he could convince Naomi to visit the Dr? 

"She told me about how she's been treating Kitamura. I hold my hands up and admit at first I thought it was funny but now…" L trailed off, his eyes dark and troubled. 

"Baby, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about" Light tried to soothe, but he knew deep down inside him it probably *was* something to worry about. Naomi had been acting increasingly more erratic for *months* now. 

"I'm going to try and talk to her, alone. Maybe invite her for coffee or something" L ran a hand through his hair, his brain whispering that brain tumors were often diagnosed with an abrupt change in personality and mood swings. "Shut up!"

Light blinked. He hadn't said anything? 

"Not you. I was talking to my brain" L heaved a sigh, "I'm not thinking very nice things, Light. And I really am worried about her"

Light pulled him close and rested his head on his shoulder. Working with Naomi undercover had brought them closer, and he was worried about her as well. 

"Come on, let's go to bed and you can speak to her in the morning" Light soothed. They went through their usual bedtime routine, and L pulled Light into his arms. Light stroked his back and whispered soothing words until L's mind final gave him the peace it needed. He stopped worrying and fell asleep and Light held him tightly, whispering how special he was and how everything was going to be alright… 

*****************

L and Naomi sat in their favourite corner booth at their local Starbucks, mochas, donuts and silence between them. 

"Babe," L reached for her hand "You know I love you. I adore you"

L whipped his head around as a group of office workers cooed over the sweet couple. L huffed a sigh and ignored them. They could think what they wanted to think. At least Naomi had stopped glaring at him now. That was something. He knew he would have to tread very delicately here… 

"You're more than just my work partner. You're my best friend and I would die for you a thousand times over… what I'm trying to say is I love you a lot and I'm really concerned about you-"

Naomi tried to pull her hand away, a protest on her lips, but L held firm. His eyes were like steel. Cutting and sharp as they pinned hers. She couldn't look away, and the wall she had built around herself was slowly crumbling… 

"Something is wrong with you. I spent half of last night worrying about you, Nomes. Please, will you go to the Drs with me? You must know something isn't right…"

Naomi hissed, eyes narrowing in annoyance. Why was everyone always saying something was wrong? She was fine! 

"Naomi, Please" L stressed the 'please' and reached for her. She retaliated by drawing her hand back and snapping it across his face. 

Loud gasps rang out and L could only clutch his cheek, his eyes eyes watering as he stared at his friend. Naomi recoiled from him, eyes widening in horror when she realised what she had done. 

L felt the stares burn into him and the whispers buzzed louder and louder like an angry swarm of wasps. L stood up and looked down at Naomi, tears in his eyes. He wanted to ask her why she had done that, but he sensed she didn't know the answer to that herself.

After all she had done for him it hurt him to see her like this. His cheek stung from the force of her blow, but that was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He grabbed his coat and walked out of the coffee shop. He needed Light. However, it wasn't Light he got. As L walked blindly away from the coffee shop and those stares he barged straight into Anton. 

L yelped when a arm shot forward and stopped him from falling straight on his ass. 

"L?! Are you okay, Jesus, your face! What happened" Anton asked, concern flashing in his eyes as he noted the angry slap mark on L's pale skin. 

"Anton! God, I'm sorry. Please, not here. I'll get you coffee somewhere else…"

Anton sighed and wrapped an arm around L's waist, guiding him past the crowds of people trying to get into the coffee shop. 

"What happened?" Anton said as soon as he guided L to sit down on a bench further up the street. It was quieter here and they could actually hear each other talk. The lunch rush in downtown Tokyo was a crazy time indeed. 

"I met Naomi. I wanted to try and convince her to see a Dr…" L clutched his cheek and winced. He needed ice on it. Anton went to an ice cream vendor and acquired some ice like the hero he was, and returned to L with a small pack of ice wrapped in cloth. 

"Anton, tell me the truth. Have you noticed the change in her?" L asked as he pressed the pack against his cheek. 

Anton sighed and nodded, broad shoulders drooping a little. "She was a menace to Fenzi the other day. Even called him a 'Faggot' he was so upset"

L's eyes widened. That was just nothing something his harpy would do. She was so supportive of the LGBTQ society. She went to rallies with her sister. She went to La Mode with her gay and bisexual friends all the time! 

"What is your gut telling you? I can tell by the look in your eyes you suspect something. Your sharp, L." Anton sighed and removed L's hand from the ice pack to take a turn in holding it to his face. 

"I think she is seriously sick, Ant" L whispered. He reached for his friend's hand and held it. Anton squeezed L's slender hand in his, admiring the way L's hand seemed so small and soft…

"The actual fuck?!"

L startled at the angry question and turned to see a very angry Light and a confused Matsuda looking at them. 

"Get your hands off my fiance!" Light growled, eyes flashing with anger at how close L and Anton were sitting. L had his hand in Anton's and an icepack on his face. Hang on. What? 

"Light!" L snapped, "For fuck's sake, sit down and shut up!"

Light blinked in shock. Okay. He might have jumped the gun a bit there but what else was he to think? L and Anton just looked so fucking good sat together like that. It hurt to see it and yes, it stirred his jealousy. Anton hadn't let go of L's hand yet either. Light's eyes narrowed in warning and finally Anton seemed to get the message and let go of L's hand. 

"Oh god, who hit you?" Light rushed towards L and grabbed his face in his hands. He immediately turned to Anton. 

"Don't even accuse me of that, Light" Anton snapped, his deep voice growling in annoyance, "He met Naomi and she slapped him"

"Sorry" Light mumbled, grudgingly, to Anton before turning his attention back to L, "Baby, what happened?"

L told Light and Anton about the conversation and how confused and out of it Naomi seemed. They all agreed they couldn't let this go on much longer. Naomi had to go to the Dr today. If that meant dragging her kicking and screaming, so be it.

L was a bit angry at Light's burst of jealous possessiveness, but there wasn't time for that now. He reminded Light that Anton was his *ex* and their *friend* before he got up from the bench and pulled out his phone. He missed the brief flicker of pain in Anton's eyes as he scrolled through his recent messages. 

Nothing from Naomi. 

"Come on, L, let's get you home" Light sighed, wrapping his arm around L's waist. He apologized to Matsuda and Anton (still grudgingly) who both nodded in understanding. 

"Anton!" L suddenly turned and and smiled at his friend, "Thank you!"

Anton dipped his head, wishing that old stirring didn't happen whenever he saw L smile like that. He loved Fenzi, of course he did, but L… 

He dropped his gaze and continued on with his day, deciding thoughts like that were dangerous things to have. Instead, he and Matsuda continued together on their quest to get lunch. 

*****************

L and Light sat together at the kitchen table. Light tried to get L to laugh and smile but he was falling flat. L moodily ate his bento and didn't even bother replying to Light's conversation. 

Light knew he was well and truly in the dog house when L slammed his fork down and turned to him, eyes narrowed in irritation. It seemed L had had enough of his attempts to smooth things over. 

"How about we talk about this sudden jealousy of yours, Light? You made me feel *guilty* and i'd done nothing wrong! You need to get over this thing you have with Anton. You treated him like crap today and he was only trying to help me"

"He's your *ex* and I don't like the way he looks at you sometimes, okay!" Light snapped, beyond exasperated. 

L glared at him. This was their first ever fight as a couple and it seemed neither of them were willing to back down. 

"He looks at me like a friend" L replied stonily, "It's your jealousy that is making you see something that isn't there"

Light rolled his eyes, "Sure it is. Nothing to do with the fact you just can't read people. Perhaps if you did then half of the shit that happened to you wouldn't have even happened!"

As soon as the words left his mouth Light regretted them. He felt like the biggest bastard in the world as he saw tears well in L's eyes. 

'Oh no. Oh no, fuck, I've made him cry!' Light gulped, feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. Oh god, if only he could take those words back! 

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

L wiped his eyes, a tired sigh escaping him as Light apologized tearfully. 

"You meant them" L pushed his food away. Seemed he wasn't going to get much eating done today. His first lunch had been interrupted with a slap and now his second lunch had been interrupted by a stab to the heart. 

"Baby, please-"

L snatched at his phone as Light's apology was cut off by its long ringing. Naomi, thank god!

"Naomi! Are you alright?" L ignored Light and was already shrugging on his jacket. 

"L" Light tried to reach for him, anxiety churning his stomach. He hadn't meant those words, not really. He was just sick and tired of seeing L get hurt, and here he was rushing off to see Naomi and probably get hurt again. 

"I will speak to you later" L snapped at Light, jerking his hand away, "I'm going to the Dr's with Naomi"

Light flinched as he heard the door slam behind him. His eyes drifted to the tealights L had picked up in Greece and tears filled his eyes. Had that idyllic happiness gone from them so soon? Was it only three days ago they were walking under the sun without a care in the world. Maybe they shouldn't have bothered returning. 

'Oh shut *up* Light' Light snapped himself out of those maudlin thoughts. He had said something stupid. He would apologize to L when he got back and would explain what he had been trying to say. 

Light sighed and cleared up their plates. Their homecoming had truly gone to shit… 

*******************

Naomi clutched her hands in her lap as they waited in the Dr's office. She had apologized and L had accepted it, but she knew just by looking at him L was in pain. She tried to talk to him but he just shook his head. He would not discuss his life going to shit in a crowded Dr's waiting room. 

Instead, L quietly reached for her hand and enfolded it in his own. Naomi understood. Words weren't needed right now. 

"Naomi Misora?" A nurse called, a pleasant smile on her otherwise bland face. 

They rose together and walked towards her. 

"Oh, and you are…?"

"A friend. I'm coming in with her" L stated firmly. 

The nurse flustered, a little awed at the dark haired man's air of mystery and those sharp eyes of his… 

"Don't bother, Love, he's gay" Naomi sniffed as the Nurse not so subtely checked her friend out. 

"Bisexual, actually" L muttered sullenly, shooting the nurse an apologetic look. "Room five, is it?"

"Ah, Y-yes, go right in. The Dr is expecting you"

L grabbed Naomi's hand and pulled her along beside him. He was done with everyone's shit today. He marched her into the Dr's office and glared at her when she tried to bolt. 

"Get. The. Fuck. In" L hissed. 

Naomi hung her head. She knew something was wrong. As if the headaches and blackouts weren't enough, the look in L's eyes told her everything. He was *afraid* for her. 

Misa walked into the Dr's office and L shut the door behind them, nearly breathing a sigh of relief as Naomi sat before the Dr. Finally, they would get some answers… 

****************

"Can't believe you said that. Dick move" Matt shook his head at Light, "Don't look at me like that, Light. I know your intentions were good but you can't just say shit like that. Not to someone who's gone through so much"

Light's shoulders slumped. Of course Matt was right. 

He just hoped his words spoken in anger hadn't ruined everything. He couldn't even think about L leaving him. He knew it might seem a bit over dramatic but he would genuinely prefer to just die than that to happen. 

Light grabbed a pen and paper and began to write. They had always wrote to each other. Maybe writing to L would help repair the damage that had been done? 

Light poured his heart out on the page until his words blurred in front of him. 

Matt and Mello watched him write and shared a small smile. Light might have been a jerk but his intentions had been good and his heart was in the right place. They both knew this storm would pass. 

Light put the letter in an envelope and slipped it under their apartment door. L wasn't answering his phone and it was getting pretty late… 

Light sighed and grabbed his car keys. Maybe a drive would help him clear his head. Light said goodbye to Matt and Mello and checked his watch, concern biting at him. L and Naomi had been gone hours now. That could only mean one thing…it was bad news. 

Three miles away, at the hospital Naomi had been rushed to, L and Naomi clung to each other, their eyes dry but wide with terror as they reacted to the bad news. The words 'Tumor' echoing through their minds. Naomi's tumor was exceptionally aggressive. Most cases proved inoperable. They could test to see if Naomi's tumor could be operated on but that might take weeks and the Dr, with a sad sigh, stated they probably didn't have many weeks to spare. 

So that meant Naomi Misora was dying? L refused to accept that. Naomi had brought him back from the brink and he was determined to do the same for her. 

"No… no, this can't be happening" L whispered as he stroked her hair. "There has to be a way… another specialist. Someone who can test you now, privately. You must know someone! "

Naomi sniffed and held him tighter. 

The Dr cleared his throat and slowly slid a phone number over to them. 

"Look, there is one Neurosurgeon who specializes in extreme cases like this but he's private, exceptionally expensive and-"

L snatched at the card. 

"I will do whatever it takes. I will pay whatever it takes" L dialed the number with shaking hands and demanded an appointment with the Dr. He explained Naomi's prognoses and was given a three week waiting period. 

L snarled that every *day* was precious and they could not afford to wait that long. The receptionist floundered until L snapped he would pay whatever it took and to get the Dr on the phone *now* or so help him he would find his way to their office and 

Ten minutes and a bank transfer of £100,000, L had secured an appointment for the very next day. 

"Who says money doesn't make the world go round" L remarked dryly as he ended the phone call. Naomi sniffled and pulled him into a hug. 

"We are going to fight this, Naomi. You and Light saved me from Beyond. I am going to save you from this. I promise"

Naomi closed her eyes at L's words. They would fight, but she knew deep down this was different. They were facing an enemy far more deadly and dangerous than Beyond Birthday had ever been. 

"We need to get back and let the others now" L said gently as he pulled away. They thanked the Dr for his time and slowly made their way out of the hospital, arms wrapped around each other. All who passed gave them small frowns of sympathy. They looked like a young couple who just received heartbreaking news. Sorrow was etched in their faces and staring bleakley out of their eyes. 

****************  
L stumbled home around midnight, mentally and physically exhausted. 

He snapped on the hallway light and called out, his shoulders slumping when he remembered their argument. It didn't seem like anyone was home. Perhaps Light was staying at his parents house or out with Matsuda? 

L spotted the envelope on the floor and scooped it up, heart suddenly racing. This could not be a breakup letter. Light's things were still in their apartment… 

L tore into the letter and slumped against the wall as he read. 

'To my beautiful L, 

I am so sorry my careless words hurt you. You have no idea how terrible I feel knowing I made you cry. I am SO SORRY I did. I didn't mean them, not in that way. What I was trying to say was how worried I am for you. You are so fucking loving and loyal, L, and I'm scared of it getting you hurt. You're too brave and self sacrificing, my love, and that gets you in bad situations sometimes. It gets you hurt. I only meant to say that, but fool that I am I ended up hurting you too with my stupid fucking words. 

I'm staying over my parents house tonight to give you some space. I understand if you don't want to speak to me for a while but please don't give up on us! I love you more than anyone or anything in this world, Baby. 

And please call me as soon as you get home, I know you might not want to speak to me for a little while but I just want to know you are okay. 

I love you with all of my heart, 

Light'

It was the tearstains and the blotched ink that broke him. L burst into tears and grabbed his phone to call his boyfriend. 

Light answered on the very first ring. 

"Baby! Are you okay, oh god, I'm so sorry, please don't leave -"

"Light" L sniffed, "Come home. Come home now I need you here"

"On my way. I'm on my way!"

L disconnected the call and slid down the wall, burying his face in his arms as he curled up and wept. 

He indulged in his pity party until he heard the sound of Light's key in the lock and hastily got up. He didn't want Light to find him crying like an idiot and think he was weak and pathetic. He needed to get his shit together for Naomi's sake. He wiped his eyes and waited for Light. 

"Babe?"

"In the lounge"

L had to smile when he saw his fiance standing with the biggest bunch of flowers in his hands and a hangdog expression on his face. 

"Baby, I am so sorry-"

L crossed the room and grabbed him for a kiss. 

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, and I do understand what you were trying to say. Today has just been so shit. Nomie has brain cancer. It's aggressive and… Fuck, Light, i 've got her booked in to see a specialist tomorrow but I don't know if this is a fight we can win"

Light pulled L into his arms and rested his head on his shoulder. 

"The only thing we can do is fight our hardest, L"

L smiled sadly at the flowers and pulled Light in even closer, his words echoing in his mind. 

He was right, no matter how bleak things suddenly appeared they would get through it if they held onto each other.


	32. Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite her diagnosis, Naomi insists on the engagement party going ahead. However, Alcohol+high emotion+stress= DISASTER. 
> 
> Between Light's jealousy, Anton's feelings and trying to look out for Naomi, L has one of the most stressful nights of his life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L needs a fucking hug. Or some angry, jealous drunk sex. Maybe both 😂

"This is a bad idea" L muttered for the tenth time in as many minutes. He and Light were on their way to the club where their engagement party was being held. L had wanted to postpone it, given the news Naomi had just received but Naomi being Naomi had insisted it happen. She'd even cried and that was the clincher. L was terrified of her tendency to flip violently through moods, but he was even more frightened of upsetting her. He had said that of course the party would go ahead, even though his gut warned him it was a perfect opportunity for the shit to hit the fan. He *always* listened to his gut. Except for when Naomi deployed the tears, apparently. 

"It will be alright. Just have to make sure she doesn't drink too much" Light tried to reassure L, even as he thought about how *longingly* Anton seemed to be staring at L lately. 

Unconsciously, Light's hands tightend on the steering wheel. He didn't want to anger L again, but he knew his jealousy was not unfounded. Something was stirring between the surface between Anton and L, even if L was currently oblivious to it. 

'I will be keeping a close eye on Anton tonight' Light thought darkly, 'Fuck, maybe L is right. Between Naomi going off on one and Anton, tonight isn't shaping up to be good. I won't drink much, and hopefully neither will L…'

Light chanced a glance at L and bit back a wince. He looked like he was going to a funeral much less his own engagement party. 

"You okay, Babe?"

L gave him a blank look that was tinged with just the hint of concern, "Fan-Fucking-Tastic, Babes"

'Aw crap, he's got the sarcasm going already' Light sighed and reached to squeeze L's thigh in support. L turned to stare out of the window, muttering under his breath this really wasn't a good idea… 

"I love you" 

The slightest shadow of a smile crossed L's lips. "Love you too" he mumbled as he laid his head against the glass of the window and stared out at the rain soaked Dockyards ahead of them. L thought about his first date with Anton at La Mode and of red eyes staring at him in the darkness. The flesh on his arm pricked and he grabbed Light's thigh to reassure himself. That was the past. This was the present. He had Light. 

"Babe, what's wrong? Shall I pull over? Fuck, you're not having a funny turn are you?"

L shook his head and forced a smile. 

"I'm fine. Look, that's Anton and Fenzi in front of us I think" 

Light smiled thinly, trying to repress the urge to ram their car off the road. Sure, it would dent his new Jag, but was it really so big of a sacrifice in the grand scheme of things…? 

All too soon the bright lights and booming baselines of Tokyo's dockside nightclub district assaulted their senses. 

Both really felt like getting absolutely smashed. Both knew that was probably not a good idea. 

And as the way such things often went, both would later regret that they hadn't listened to their common sense and got smashed anyway… 

(1 hour later) 

"L! Here, Boo, I've got you a white wine cocktail thing. It's bomb. Seriously!"

L smiled uncertainty as a pitcher of the 'bom' white wine cocktail thing' was thrust into his hands by an obviously very pre-loaded Mello. 

L shrugged and took a sip through the sparkly blue straw. 

'Mmmm. Nice…' 

By the time L had taken ten more sips he was feeling pretty buzzed. Naomi was dancing with Raye and Light and Matt were drinking beer and talking about football as they so often did ('it's vile, you'd swear they were *straight*' said Mello) so L threw caution to the wind and carried on sipping his potent cocktail. He noticed Anton and Fenzi were sat in a booth but neither seemed to be paying much attention to the other… 

L glanced around the packed nightclub and seating area and spotted a rather nervous looking Kitamura. 

'Okay. Time to break the ice with him' L/Wine decided. 

L wandered over and asked for a quiet word. Kitamura visibly drooped and asked if L would join him for a cigarette. L shrugged and said he would, even though he didn't smoke. It would be easier to talk outside in the beer garden anyway. 

Once they were outside L told Kitamura how sorry he was Naomi had been making his life a living hell and admitted he had no idea it had gotten quite so bad. He assured the deputy director that Naomi's actions could not be excused, but no doubt her condition had exacerbated them. He even went so far as to reassure the man he would make sure things ended as of now (it wasn't like Naomi was going to be in work for a while, was it? That gave him time to work on her) 

"You… mean that, L?"

L blinked. "Yes! I do. It's gotten out of hand and I'm sorry for it. I haven't been in work for six months, Sir, so I'm… urgh. I guess I was wrapped up in my own bubble. Between recovery and then my Grandfathers death and Light and… life, you know?"

Kitamura did know, and managed a small smile. He had always liked L. Maybe now L was due back in work the next week things would settle down a bit. He glanced nervously at Naomi, who was grinding rather raunchy against Raye. 

"She dosent seem to know what she is doing sometimes" L commented sadly, "She isn't herself. I know my apologizing on her behalf won't change anything, but I am sorry. Please stop paying us the pay rise she blackmailed out of you. The department needs it and neither of us has *earned* it"

Kitamura's eyes widened. Now that really was a surprise. L really was the honest and hard working young man he thought he was. He couldn't blame him, he had been through a lot and it seemed he had only recently learned the extent of the hell Misora had put him through. 

"I was left a very substantial amount of money. I don't even need to work, Kitamura-San. I want to, obviously, because there are cases I want to solve but… I'm sorry. I'm rambling. Just don't worry about anything going back to the wife, okay? Because it won't"

Kitamura tugged at his shirt collar, hoping 'the wife' would remain forever ignorant about his little mishap with the office slut, Misa Amane. She had been packed off to another department and L seemed sincere so maybe there was hope? 

"Not that I approve of what you did." L was quick to add, "Jesus, Amane? Did you get yourself checked out at least?"

Kitamura laughed his familiar booming laugh and wiped at his eyes. 

"Despite everything I am glad you will be rejoining us next week. Will you be partnering with Light? Since Naomi will obviously be off for some time and Rays has requested compassionate leave…"

L sighed. Yes, he would be without his partner… working with Light again should prove challenging not to mention *fun* now that they were engaged! 

"Yes but I assure you work and personal matters will be kept entirely separate" L nodded, suddenly serious, "Naomi threw a fit when I told her but I think she's come around to the idea now. Especially because Raye will be off with her"

A salt-scented gust of wind blew across the beer garden and they both shivered. 

"I'm glad we could clear the air" Kitamura clasped L's shoulder with his meaty hand, "I'm going to find the wife. And congratulations! I must go and give Light my congratulations too"

L smiled thinly and watched Kitamura amble back inside to the party. There, that was one thing ticked off his to do list. 

Despite the cold L decided to linger out in the beer garden a little longer. He'd finished his cocktail by now and was starting to feel a bit drunk. What the hell had even been in the thing? 

Just as L was about to go back inside he nearly collided with a rather upset looking Fenzi. 

"Oh, hey, you alright?" L blinked, shocked at the look of pure hatred the little Italian man shot at him. "Okay…?"

"Keep away from Anton, L. I mean it!"

"What the actual fuck are you on about?" L growled, hackles rising almost instantly. He grabbed Fenzi's arm to prevent him from storming past. He was damned if he was going to put up with that shit. 

"Heh. The innocent act won't work you know" Fenzi yanked his arm free, "Fuck off, L"

L could only stare as Fenzi shrugged on his coat and matched away from the party. Had he and Anton had a fight? And if so, how the fuck was that to do with him? 

His stomach churned as he remembered Light's jealousy the other day. There was no way Anton still held a candle for him surely? 

Feeling distinctly uneasy, drunk and angry, L stormed back inside. He would just have to find out for himself wouldn't he? 

"L! Wooooo! This is so great, come dance with me?!"

L paused mid storm and cast a critical eye over Naomi. She was drunk. Fucking Great. 

"Light, could really do with a hand here…" he muttered as he glanced around for him. No sign of Light. Fantastic. The buffet was open and half of their colleagues were making a beeline for it. L was sort of hungry himself but decided to make the fateful decision to go and have a dance with Naomi and another wine cocktail. In hindsight, L would later admit this was where things really went titsup. 

*****************

Light, meanwhile, had lost his bet with Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi, so had ended up doing three sambuca shots. He dimly remembered something about not planning on getting that drunk but he was having a laugh with his friends. Besides, it was his engagement party! Surely he was allowed to let his hair down a little? 

Light looked around for L, frowning when he caught no sight of him. He was getting a bit annoyed since he'd wanted to keep L where he could see him (i.e away from Anton) but it was hard to keep track of him when the room was so crowded. 

"Can't believe you're getting married dude" Matsuda slurred, slinging an arm around Light's shoulders, "The old ball and chain for my man Light!"

Random cheers went up and Light knocked back the rest of his beer in salute to his impending ball and chain status. 

He lurched away from Matsuda and his friends when he finally spotted the familiar spiky black hair he'd been looking for. 

"Heeeey Baby!"

L squinted up at Light "The fuck have you been? I've been searching for you everywhere. Naomi is puking her guts up in the toilet, Fenzi stormed out an hour ago, the girls are waiting for a speech and I haven't even had the chance to speak to your mum and dad yet. Not that I want to speak to your dad. He's a prick"

Light blinked as he tried to take all of that in. 

'Who's he calling a prick?' Light thought, more than a little muddled by this point. 

"Forget it" L huffed. 

"Dance with me?"

"Wow. As in you actually want to pay attention to me now?" L snarled, "Go back to drinking with idiots one, two and three over there. I need to check on Nomie"

Light scratched his head as L stalked off. Matsuda clapped his shoulder in sympathy, the idiot comment clearly not hitting its mark. 

"Good luck with *that* man. And I thought Massacre was bad when she was on one" Aizawa snickered. 

Light sighed and went to follow L- until his awkward as fuck looking father staggered over to offer the most insincere congratulations Light had ever heard in his life. Kudos to him though, he was trying. Light thanked him for his mother's sake and found himself sucked into a conversation about his father's timeshare stocks (of all things) as he zoned out he hoped L wasn't too mad at him. He really wanted some post engagement party sex… 

*****************

"I'm going to *DIE* soon, L. Get off my fucking case!" Naomi slurred as he messily replied lipstick to her lips and cheek. 

"Why the fuck am I even bothering with you people?! I've been trying all fucking night to iron out peoples shit!" L snapped back, "You shouldn't be drinking. You heard what the Dr said but noooo, Naomi knows best, as fucking always!"

L felt the wind woosh out of his lungs as he was suddenly shoved against the wall, Naomi's hands pinning him by his shoulders. 

"Oh, let me guess, you're going to hit me again" L drawled tiredly. Naomi checked at that and let him go, a flicker with panic and sadness in her eyes. 

"Fuck you too" L shoved past her and decided that enough was enough. He was done with people and their bullshit. He was going to go home, curl up in bed and *sleep* this entire disastrous night away. 

L walked over to Light and told him pointedly he was leaving. Unfortunately, Light couldn't hear a word he was saying and smiled down at him stupidly. 

'Why me?' L thought morosely. He doubted he would be missed, despite it being his and Light's engagement party it had turned into quite the pissup. He decided to book a taxi and just go home.

"Hey, L, um, can I have a word?"

L's angry retort for that person to go fuck themselves died on his tongue as he realized Anton, sweet, lovely Anton, was tugging on his sleeve and smiling down at him. 

"Yes! Outside, away from these assholes" L shot a pointed look at Naomi and grabbed Anton's hand. Light glared daggers as he watched his fiance and the Russian go outside.

"Anton, what the hell was Fenzi's problem earlier?" L asked as they sat down under the electric heaters. Anton sighed and sparked up a cigarette and L frowned, concerned. Anton had quit smoking months ago, why was he suddenly starting up again? 

'Maybe he's got shit going on too?'

"L, Anton and I had a big fight earlier on… about you"

L massaged his temples. Why the fuck was everything suddenly about him? 

"L…" Anton reached for L's hand, his heart in his eyes. Even if L rejected him he had to tell him the truth. 

"Woah! Get your FUCKING HANDS OFF MY MAN!"

L physically slumped and let his head fall to the wooden table with a soft thud as Light stomped over to them. 

"You bastard, I knew I wasn't imagining it. You still have feelings for him, don't you?!" Light snarled at Anton. 

"Yes I do. L… I'm sorry. I thought… I thought I could accept us being friends but every time I look at you it just tears me up inside"

L was so astonished he actually forgot how to speak for a moment. He glanced back and forth between Anton and Light, mouth open in a gape as he tried to understand what was happening. 

"I knew it! Fuck you, Anton! Let's fucking go, right now!" Light got all up in Anton's face (Anton, who had at least four inches and twenty kilos on him) 

"Stop it" L whispered, his eyes filling with tears. 

"Light, we both know if I wanted to I could squash you like a bug" Anton shoved Light backwards away from him. 

L was on his feet in a heartbeat, in the very unenviable position of being caught between two lovers.

"Light, put your first down, you are *not* punching Anton. Anton, why the fuck didn't you tell me this earlier?! You waited to tell me on the night of my engagement party? Talk about bad fucking timing!" L was yelling now, but he was past caring. His nerves were absolutely frazzled. 

Anton sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew his timing was pretty awful, but listening to Fenzi call L all those horrible names had just snapped something inside of him. He wasn't over L. Perhaps he never would be. 

"L, you are never seeing him again" Light spat, eyes narrowed in absolute hatred as he glared up at the Russian. 

L responded with a deep sigh. "Light, I love you. I love you very much, but if you don't shut your fucking mouth and shut down this jealousy in the next five seconds you will be the one I never see again"

Predictably, Light's mouth snapped shut. L rounded on Anton, "And you need to decide what the fuck it is you want. I was honest with you! As soon as I realized I loved Light I ended things. You don't just get to drop of a bombshell like this on me now, Ant! Go home and talk to Fenzi. Finish things with him if you really don't love him because you will only end up making things worse. It's probably for the best if we have some space. I love Light. I love him in a way I have never loved you, or Beyond, or anyone else. Even if he is an absolute fucking idiot!"

L grabbed his wallet and shot Light a glare "We're going home. Now!"

Light didn't argue. He followed L to the taxi rink and sat quietly beside him for the entire ride home. L paid the fayre and they let themselves into their apartment. 

"L, I'm really-"

"Don't fucking apologise to me" L lunged at Light, knocking him back against the sofa and kissing him aggressively. Light groaned into the kiss and pulled L closer, arching his body to get as close as he could to his lover. He felt lust sizzle down his spine as their mouths clashed. 

"Fuck, Baby-" Light gasped as L yanked his jeans down his hips. 

"You fucking asshole" L growled softly, "I love you. Even now I fucking love you"

Light grabbed L's hand and shoved it down his boxers, hissing as he felt L's fingers curl around his throbbing length. L huffed into a kiss and straddled him, each kiss getting harder and wetter than the last until they were gasping with want and panting into each others mouths. 

"I want you" Light sighed, his head spinning as L abruptly pulled away from him and began tearing off his clothes. 

"And I want you" the fire was gone from L's words though, and he smiled a little as he stared down at Light. Light yanked L over to him and pressed wet kisses to his stomach and chest, saying 'I'm sorry' with each one. 

"Don't be gentle" L whispered as he twined his fingers in Light's hair. "I don't want you to be gentle now, Light"

'Fuck…' Light's mouth went dry as L climbed back over him and pressed him back against the sofa. 

"You were so full of fire when you stood up to Anton and declared I was yours. Show me that fire now" L pushed at Light's chest, a challenge in his eyes. Light accepted. He flipped them over and pinned L beneath him as he ravaged his mouth. 

L squirmed and wrapped his arms and legs around Light, body flush against his. The sofa creaked as they moaned into each other's mouths, bodies straining together. 

"Haaa… fuck, yes, Light, fuck me!" L gasped out, aching to feel Light inside him. Light groaned as he pulled back to fumble for the lube they kept somewhere around the sofa for 'Just in case' moments.

Light found it and grasped it in triumph. He'd never felt so horny in his entire life. Maybe it was all the stress of that evening or the alcohol? Hell, maybe it was the way L had just pounced on him. 

Light skimmed a hand down L's body and shuddered with desire. L was *his* not that bastard Russian's. L wore his ring on his finger. His jealous thoughts bled through to his actions as he straddled L and pinned him down, hoisting one leg up and slicing his fingers as he did. L watched him through hooded eyes as Light pressed inside. L said he didn't want gentle, so he wouldn't give him gentle. 

L hissed as Light pushed in a second finger and began to stretch. It didn't hurt so much as it did surprise him. He hadn't really expected Light to be as rough as he was being. He didn't think Light had the balls for it. 

It was a pleasant surprise when Light yanked his head back by his hair and kissed him deeply in time with the thrusts of his fingers. L felt himself melt and moaned around Light's tongue, hips bucking as he felt Light's fingers graze his prostate. 

"I know my jealousy annoys you, L" Light jabbed at him again and L let out a shriek, sensation slamming through him as his prostate was stimulated again and again by those wonderful fingers. "But I'm jealous because I care about you and because you are *mine*"

L tipped his head back, lust clouding his mind where there had only been anger and frustration earlier. 'Good call on the drunk, angry sex, Lawliet!' he mentally congratulated himself before a third finger pushed inside and thinking became practically impossible. 

"Fuck me, please" L begged, all shame gone as he reached blindly for Light's cock. 

"Suck me off first" Light yanked L's hand away and straddled his chest, cock just inches from L's mouth. "Show me how much you love me. Show me you're mine, L"

'Oh fuck yes…' L grabbed Light's hips and sucked him down in one motion, moaning around the cock in his mouth and sucking in a lung fill of oxygen before he began to bob his head. 

"Aaah, fuck, L, you're so fucking good at this" Light moaned, toes curling at the phenomenal pleasure L was bestowing upon him. L responded   
to the praise by tonguing his slit and Light had to pull his mouth off him for fear of coming right there. 

"Get on your hands and knees, L" Light muttered, taking himself in hand and slicing himself up. L scrambled to do as Light said and shivered with longing when he felt Light settle behind him. He didn't even care how lewd he must look, ass in the air and shivering with impatience. Light ran his hands down his flanks and cupped his ass and that made L gasp with need. 

'Come on, Light, just fucking do it. I need it, please' L thought, tears trickling from his eyes. Light took that moment to land a stinging blow one asscheek and L cried out loud, spreading his legs invitingly as the shock wave ran through him. 

Light was careful, even in this heated moment of passion, to hold back a little. L had been hurt this way before and he was determined he would never cause L that pain. His heart couldn't take it. He pressed the head of his cock against L's body and slid home with one, deep smooth thrust. 

"Fuck, yes, oh…" L arched under him, eyes rolling back in his head as he felt that delicious stretch that told him Light was fully inside him. 

"Tight, god damn its so tight" Light gasped, flexing his hips and fucking L hard and fast, teeth clenched in pleasure. L's body sucked him inside and the feeling of fucking such a perfect, tight and hot sheath was indescribable. He could only fuck faster, sweat dripping down his face as he worked them both towards a blistering orgasm. 

The slap of flesh against flesh and L's breathy moans filled the room as they moved together, bodies shuddering and straining as the thrusts grew more and more erratic. 

"Squeeze around me. Fuck, I need to feel more of you"

L tightened his body around Light and was rewarded by a series of blissful shoves right against his prostate. L reached under himself and fisted his cock in time to Light's thrusts, his head hanging as he panted through his pleasure. 

"That's right, jerk yourself off. Damn, I'm close. L, I'm gonna come!" light huffed as he rammed himself home faster, not holding back as he heard the slick sounds of L touching himself. 

"Yes! Oh god, fuck, I'm close, fuck me, Light!" L sobbed out as he felt his cock throb in his hand. Just one more thrust, one more push and he'd be sent over the edge. He strained against Light and teetered on the brink. 

Light slapped his ass again and that sent him hurting over it. L came with a shriek, his come spurting out onto the sofa as he called out Light's name over and over again. 

Light gasped out hoarsely as he came inside L, collapsing over him as he pumped out his release into the tight body beneath him. 

It seemed endless and they gasped for breath and twitched their way through the aftershocks until Light collapsed onto L. L landed face first into the sofa with a soft moan and just lay still, panting for breath as his mind and body reeled. 

"Urhh, that was so fucking intense" Light pressed shaky kisses against L's shivering shoulder blades, "Was that angry sex?"

L huffed out a satisfied laugh, "Babe, that was just… amazing. I'm not even thinking about a label for it" L stretched and moaned lowly, the kinks in his back working loose. He had needed *that*.

They both had needed that. 

They didn't bother trying to clean themselves up. They'd sort the mess out in the morning. Light grabbed a fluffy throw and wrapped then up in it. L flopped onto Light's chest and mumbled into his neck when he felt Light tease his leaking hole. 

"We need to sleep…" L moaned weakly, even as he felt himself stir once again. Light toyed with his hole, tracing the ring of muscle with his finger before dipping it inside. 

"So hot seeing my come drip out of you. It just makes me want to take you again and again"

As Light pressed his fingers inside and diligently stretched and teased L to a shuddering internal orgasm L decided that maybe Light's jealousy wasn't such a bad thing at all. 

"I'm fucking you again" Light rolled L under him and nearly bent him in half as he hoisted his legs over his shoulders. "I'm fucking you as long as it takes for you to realize you're mine"

L felt the air woosh out of him as Light slammed inside him again and bit back a smile. Light's jealousy really wasn't such a bad thing if it led to these kind of consequences! 

Light made true on his promise and between naps they fucked another three times. The sofa, their bodies and the throw ended up a come, lube and sweat stained mess but neither of them could bring themselves to care. 

As thief phones lit up with messages and phone calls they curled in on one another and ignored them, content to doze in each other's arms. 

Naomi, Anton, Matsuda and anybody else on the entire planet would just have to wait. In this moment in the early morning sunlight they only had time for each other. 

L fell asleep to the sweet feeling of Light running his fingers down his back as Light stretched beneath him. They were stuck together and Light giggled into L's hair. It might have been an eventful engagement party but the night had made it all worthwhile. 

Light managed to reach for their phones and switched them both off before wrapped L in his arms and dropping off to sleep. 

The world could wait, he had *his* fiance in his arms and nothing else mattered. 

Nothing at all.


	33. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past comes back to haunt L and Light when they return to work. Beyond's death has created a power vacuum, and L has a target on his back. Will he actually listen to Light though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken me the better part of three days to write (which is really slow for me) mainly due to work and low motivation for writing right now. 
> 
> Leave me some feedback and get my motivation going again please! :(

"Well, this seems familiar" Light smirked as he looked at L.They were stood in their office, partners once again. 

"It does" L smiled, tempted to just reach for Light and kiss him senseless. But no, he would be professional and keep the snogging sessions for lunch breaks. Right now they had a backlog of paperwork and case requests to sift through after their long absence. 

"That was nice of them" Light pointed to the 'Welcome back!' Candy hamper the guys had clubbed together to buy L. 

"Yes, and entirely unexpected. I wasn't aware I was so well liked" L wandered over to their desks, which groaned with paperwork, and wondered where the hell they were even going to begin. 

"Course you are. You're an awesome Detective" Light smiled at his fiance proudly, "And you're fucking gorgeous too"

L looked up from a document he was reading and shot Light a sultry look. "Thank you, Detective Yagami. You aren't so bad looking yourself"

"Detective Lawliet, soon" Light winked and L flushed with happiness at the thought. Light Lawliet… 

"I love you" L blurted out, "I know we shouldn't be saying stuff like that in work but I just wanted you to know that… Anyway, we should really start going through this wonderful pile of paperwork…"

Light rose from his desk and walked over to L. Without hesitation he cupped his face and kissed him hard.   
'Rules be damned' Light thought, actually shocking himself. He had always followed the rules whereas L had always broken them (or at the very least twisted them) to meet his own ends. It felt rather nice rebelling a little when L was the one trying to toe the line for a change. Light carded his fingers through that soft dark hair and sucked on L's tongue, relishing the little whimper his actions elicited from his *partner*

"Hmm. Pretty sure we promised not to do that" L mumbled when they eventually parted. Their lips had other ideas and they kept find each others and they kept kissing until a loud whoop of 'GET A ROOM!' from a passing Matsuda forced them apart. 

"Heh. Right. Now it's time to get to work" Light chuckled when L jumped off his seat and slammed the blinds down in Matsuda's grinning face. 

"Fuck it. We're having kissing breaks" L decided, "We don't smoke. So, when everyone else goes out for a cigarette we get to make out like a pair of teenagers. Deal?"

"Deal!" Light grinned, making a mental note to lock their office door. His dad did have a nasty habit of wandering in without knocking… 

*****************

As Light and L settled into their new/old roles of being work partners, Naomi Misora sat staring out of her bedroom window. In her clasped hands she held a tuft of faded purple hair. 

Her hair. 

"Babe, you're still so beautiful" Raye whispered, trying to comfort the devastated young woman. The Radiation therapy L had paid for was working rapidly. Her tumor had shrank by 3% already. If it continued to shrink by another 8% surgery was possible. 

But that was an *if*

Naomi wasn't dealing with the Radiation therapy very well. It had been a week since the engagement party, and Naomi had refused to speak to neither L nor Light since that night. 

"I'm far from beautiful. I'm a fucking mess, Raye. I treat people like shit. L has been paying thousands each day for my medication and appointments and I haven't even spoke to him…"

Raye sighed and pulled Naomi to him. Together they lay in bed, the soft patter of rain against the windows breaking the silence. 

"I hate that he has Light now. Isn't that selfish of me? I should be glad, shouldn't I? He has someone in his life who adores him, and Light is an excellent officer too… I just… I'm going to be sick!"

Raye jolted out of the way just in time as Naomi shuddered and vomited on the bed. 

'Great. Do we even have any clean bedding left?' Raye thought as he rubbed his girlfriends back soothingly. 

"I need to make things right with him, Raye. Just in case…"

"Don't talk like that! You will be fine, Naomi. You are the strongest person I know! Now buck up and kick this bastard disease's ass, do you hear me?" Raye swallowed thickly, his heart clenching at the *resigned* tone in Naomi's voice. 

Naomi hung her head and fought back tears. She would fight the hardest she could, and she would do it for Raye, L and her friends. And if she lost… well, at least she hadn't gone down without a fight! 

She would sort herself out, stop hurting those she cared most for and she would start doing it *now*

Naomi swilled her mouth out with the mouthwash Raye handed her and spat into a small beaker. Raye quietly changed the soiled duvet cover with the last clean one he could find. 

"Thank you, Babe. I love you, Raye" Naomi's eyes softened as she looked at her devoted partner. Raye stroked back her hair and smiled down at her, hope rekindling as he realised his words had hit their mark. 

"And I love you too. Fight for me, Baby"

"I will" Naomi pulled Raye into a kiss, and in that moment she wasn't a woman riddled with brain cancer. She was a woman kissing the man she loved. 

"I need your help, Raye. I want to send out apology cards to everyone. Flowers too. I've been a bitch"

"Nothing new there, Babe" Raye teased, already reaching for her phone. 

Naomi snickered at the banter before coming serious once more. She needed to make amends regardless. Anton and Fenzi had split up, and she hadn't even checked in on them. Matt and Mello hadn't even shown up on her radar and L… her poor L. 

He had sounded so fucking *done* when he asked was she going to hit him again. 

Her stomach churned at the memory and her resolve hardened. She would make things right and show them how much she cared. 

Together she and Raye ordered several flower bouquets and cards to be sent out until Naomi slumped back against the pillows with a small smile on her face. Raye wished her a good rest and gently tucked her in. 

He stared at the purple underneath her eyes and how pale and thin she appeared. To him she was still the most beautiful woman in the world, but it still hurt to see his spitfire looking so frail. 

'Please, Nomie, keep fighting. You can be a nightmare but all of our lives will be so much worse without you in it' Raye pressed a kiss to her forehead and left her to sleep. He wandered down to the kitchen to make her her favourite Hoisin Duck. Dish for when she awoke… and to tackle a mountain of laundry. 

****************

"Chiyo wrote to me" L smiled as he handed Light his letter, "Said she's enrolled in the Prison Higher education system and is even working towards her degree! Isn't that great?"

Light smiled at L's happiness. He was so kind it melted his heart. L had moved heaven and earth to ensure the young woman had a lenient sentence, and it was paying off. The girl showed signs of turning her life around and with her continued good behaviour she would be eligible for parole in another year or so. 

"She's even asked if I will give her a reference?" L shook his head at the girls cheek, already knowing that yes, he would do it for her. Everyone deserves a second chance and a helping hand as far as L was concerned. If she fucked up her second chance then he would leave her out to dry, but still… he hoped that wouldn't be the outcome. The girl was 18 and had her whole life ahead of her. 

The news put L in a good mood for the rest of the morning, that is, until Kitamura entered their office with a grim smile and a stack of case files. 

"L, Light. Given your recent experience in dealing with Beyond Birthday and his low life associates I've been tasked with giving you these cases to look through. I completely understand if you want to give them a miss but…"

L stretched out his arm for the documents. He couldn't shy away from this shit forever could he? Besides, this was his job. If there were cases to solve he would do his best to solve them. He just hoped his heart would calm the fuck down soon. He knew Light could pick up on his anxiety and wished he could fight it back. These people squabbling for territory were the same people who had worked for Beyond. They were the same people who had seen Beyonds Detective pet raped, beaten and abused.

L wondered how he was going to look any of them in the eye, much less arrest them. Still, his own recklessness and sense of justice would triumph. He would get the job done with Light by his side. 

"But no one else has had much luck cracking them?" Light summarized with a small frown. He knew, without being arrogant, he and L were the best people for the job, given their first hand experience in dealing with such dangerous enemies. However, he was concerned about how L could cope seeing criminals who had once acted as his captors. He'd picked up on L's nerves with well trained eyes. Kitamura was speaking again, so Light reluctantly left that train of thought alone to concentrate on his superior. 

"Precisely. Since Beyond's death the squabbles for drug rights and control of the Kanto region has escalated dramatically. Innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire now, and it's turning ugly"

L raised an eyebrow, "How ugly?"

"Revenge killings. Reports of turf wars going on in Kanto and Shibuya…"

"We will work on these" L decided for both of them, "It was only a matter of time before this happened. There's a power vacuum after Beyond's death, and naturally people want to fill it. But, I want the forensics teams to send me all autopsy reports and victim profiles as well. I can work on both" L twirled a piece of liquorice in his hands before eating it, "Light is better at interviews than I am anyway. I will deal with the forensics and crime scene stuff while he does that"

Kitamura brightened considerably, pleased to see the two lovers working so professionally and so *smoothly* together. They really were a special pair of partners, they compensated for each others weaknesses and worked together seamlessly. With Light's flawless interpersonal skills and record for conducting successful and fruitful interviews and L's expertise in the lab, he considered them the most experienced and capable of his team despite their tender years. 

"You're not *that* bad at interviews" Light teased, thinking back to the time where L had got distracted by a witnesses cat. 

L snorted and threw a piece of candy at him in response. 

"Thank you, both. I am sure you will do well and if you need anything you need only ask… also, will you pass on my regards to Miss Misora? Raye called this morning and said she wasn't doing so well…"

L sighed but nodded his head. Naomi had another Radiation session this afternoon. He'd tried ringing her but she was ignoring everyone. He tried not to take it too personally considering he wasn't the only one getting the cold shoulder. Perhaps she just needed some time to adjust to the huge changes and the brush with mortality she was experiencing. 

Together they left the office to scout the areas affected by the violence and find out just what was going on from the people living there. They were both armed and authorized to use their weapons given the dangerous nature of their new case. 

L very much wanted to just grab Light hard and kiss him senseless. Despite his earlier bravado he *was* slightly afraid of encountering those people again. What if some of them recognized him as Beyond's former 'pet'?

As soon as they got into Light's car they were all over each other again. Light kissed L deeply and promised to protect him. With each kiss he made a different promise. No one would ever take L away from him again. L was the most beautiful and intelligent person he had ever met and that he would love him eternally. 

Kissed out and overrun with sweetness L felt prepared to take on the case. 

If he had Light at his side he could do it. He could look them in the eyes as they arrested them and put an end to the terror and bloodshed they were inflicting on innocent people. 

They drove to Shibuya and got out of the car, both glancing about the busy streets. The crossing was packed with pedestrians grabbing lunch or on their way to some appointment or other. It was the perfect place to blend into the crowd as it was just always so busy. L knew whoever controlled Shibuya would have the prize slice of the pie that was central Tokyo. So completion for it would be fierce. 

"There needs to be a bigger police presence" Light pointed out as he gestured to a small group of officers milling about and watching the crowd. None of them looked overly competent or intimidating. One was on his phone, another other was eating donuts and reading a manga. 

"Fuck sake" L sighed, "With PO's like that on the ground is it any wonder the people dont feel safe to come out at night? Beyond's former lackys are probably running rings around that lot" L strode over to them and Light hurried to catch up. He already knew these lazy officers were about to get a taste of L's sharp tongue. 

"What are you all doing?!" L snapped as soon as he was in ear shot "Four people were shot on this street last night and your not even paying attention!"

"Sir, everything is under control-"

L flashed his badge and narrowed his eyes, "Don't fucking 'Sir' me" L swept his furious gaze along all four of them. Despite them being a minimum of a decade or so older than he was, both he and Light outranked them. It was easy to see why. 

"Sorry, Detective Lawliet" the officer who had tried to give L the 'Everything is under control' line immediately looked more focused. He'd heard all about Lawliet and that sharp tongue of his. He was not someone to cross. 

"Get off your asses and patrol properly. Speak to the public, make your presence known and reassure them" Light yanked the manga away from the youngest officer, "Just because we've been called in does not mean we can sort this shit out by ourselves. We need more *competent* officers on the ground keeping watch"

"Yes, Sir, sorry, Sir"

L and Light watched the ramshackle band shuffle off towards the crowds and shared an exasperated look. 

"We are thin on the ground with Naomi and Ray off or I would pull some officers from our ranks" L admitted. "Urgh. Sometimes I struggle to grasp the full spectrum of human stupidity, Light. Thank fuck I'm marrying you. I don't think I could handle marrying someone stupid"

Light grinned at the compliment and brushed down L's arm (sadly, that was affectionate as he could get in public and on duty, but it made L smile all the same) they kept close together as they strolled around the area. In their usual attire they did not attract much attention from the crowds of busy people. L bought them some coffee and they sipped as they read through victim and incident reports. 

"I'm definitely suggesting to Kitamura he gets more feet on the ground here" L muttered as he scrolled through his phone. "Undercover would be an option but…"

"Yes. Not unless that becomes absolutely necessary" Light agreed, picking up on L's reluctance to go down that route again. That was too close to some very painful memories for both of them. 

"Our team is being briefed anyway" Light added, "Are you leading this?"

L shook his head, "No. This is your investigation, Light. I'm following your lead on this. But, I should point out if I disagree with you or feel I can get better results by doing things my way…"

Light snorted and rolled his eyes. "You will do things your way anyway. I know you, Love. Just stick close to me. I'm never letting you out of my sight again"

L swallowed thickly, some very unprofessional thoughts flickering through his mind. It was hard working with someone you just wanted to shove against a wall and kiss all the time. 

Light spent the remainder of the afternoon talking to the local shop owners to try and gain as much information as he could. L felt a little useless hanging back while Light did most of the talking, but he was also paying attention. By the time they reached a noodle bar L knew *they* were being watched. The owner seemed shifty and unhelpful and L and Light shared a knowing look. They'd found one of the hotspots were the rival factions were meeting up. 

"I want to see the full CCTV footage for the last two weeks" L demanded rather than asked the owner, "Police and law enforcement's presence on the streets of Shibuya and the Kanto region *will* be increasing. Just something to bear in mind, Sakamoto-San"

At once the man's hackles rose and he glared down at L. 

"What are you implying, Brat?"

"I'm not implying anything, Sakamoto-San. I'm just informing you that very soon the gang members who appear to be frequenting your establishment will be moved off. I'm sure that's *very* reassuring for you to hear" L's voice practically dripping with sarcasm, "The tapes, please"

Once they had secured the surveillance Light and L returned to the car to go through it. Both of them had been feeling increasingly uneasy as the day went on. They were definitely being watched, which meant they were in danger. 

"Do you think they recognize me?" L asked bluntly, "Because if some do and if they were loyal to Beyond they are going to see me as a target. Perhaps even more so than I already am…"

Light reached for L's hand and took it in his own. He wanted desperately to reassure L, but after the looks they had received that afternoon by faceless strangers lurking in the crowds he wasn't sure if he could. He knew L would not let his past stand in the way of him doing his job but he felt deeply concerned. He didn't want L on the streets. 

He just needed to find a way to explain that to him without rattling his cage. Light decided to wait until they returned to the office and after they had had a meeting with the officers under their command. 

True to his word, L sat back and let Light take command of the case. He answered questions and chimed in with his input. They were just delegating tasks out when the call came through. The noodle bar owner had been stabbed to death in his own bar. His crime? Talking to Beyond Birthday's pet. 

The words sent ice cracking through L's veins and he stared at Light in absolute horror. The junior officers shifted uncomfortably as they whispered to one another. They all knew what L had endured, or at the very least they had heard rumors. For L to be called a 'pet' and be targeted…

The tension rose in the room as Light finished the phone call and looked L dead in the eyes. 

"L, you are staying here and working in the labs. No arguments" Light snapped, authority in his voice when he saw L's mouth open to argue his case. L had said they were equals and this was his case, so L would have to listen to him. He would make L listen to him if he had to. 

"But I need to be-"

"Kept safe!" Light retorted, really not wanting to get into a fight with L in front of the others but more than willing to if necessary. L had been targeted and recognized. That meant it simply wasn't safe for him to work the streets. 

L sat down, silently fuming as Light organized his team into groups. They established a shift system so there was a continual police presence on the streets. It was only after the junior officers were dismissed and the door had closed did L finally jump to his feet, rounding on Light like a striking snake. 

"How *dare* you make that decision for me!" L's voice shook in anger, "I'm not afraid of them! You've made me look weak!"

Light snapped the blinds shut and stormed over to L. He kissed him hard, pushing L back against the wall and just holding him there. They were both breathing heavy as they stared each other down. 

"Yes you are, L. You are afraid and that's okay. I'm afraid too. I'm afraid one of them is going to take you from me. For fucks sake, you are the bravest person I know so be brave enough to admit your fear!"

L's mouth dropped open at Light's impassioned words. The truth of them hit him hard and tears filled his eyes. Before he could stop himself he felt a sob tear from his throat. 

"Shhh, Shhh" Light pulled L into his arms and just held him as he sobbed into his chest. "It's alright, L. I promise it is all going to be alright" Light whispered into L's hair. "Trust me, Baby. Stay here where it's safe. Promise me you will"

L slowly nodded his head and Light released a shaky breath. 

"I promise" L mumbled, his shoulders drooping as he felt shame and fear wash over him. He had thought he was ready to face this again. He had thought he had gotten over the hurt and humiliation Beyond and his associates had inflicted on him but he clearly hadn't.

"You will be needed in the labs, L. You are *brilliant* there" Light attempted to rally him, "You really are, L"

L smiled tearfully and reached up to stroke Light's cheek. 

"Not as amazing as you. Sometimes I look at you and can't believe how far you've come. You are yourself now. No more hiding or lying who you are. You're my idol, you know that?"

Light felt his heart well in his chest. He hadn't known that. He was L's idol! His idol! 

"Alright, don't get too full of yourself. I still think you're a dick most of the time" L teased as he saw Light's chest flare with pride. 

Light barked out a laugh and clutched L's hand tightly. Both made a silent promise not to let their fear get in the way of them. Together they could face anything. 

They finished up the rest of their paperwork and drove to Naomi's and Raye's. One look at Naomi, brave and defiant with a shaved head had L's eyes welling up with tears again. 

'Fucks sake, that's all I seem to be capable of doing today' L thought as he wiped at his eyes and hugged his friend tightly. 

"Hey, L" Naomi whispered into his shoulder, "I'm sorry for being a bitch to you"

"Don't worry, that's just who you are" L whispered back as he squeezed her tightly. "But you're *my* bitch"

Naomi pulled away, a steely glint in her eyes and L knew by the look in them she was no longer afraid.   
Naomi was looking death in the face but had the strength of character to conquer her fear, and so would he. 

They had dinner with Raye and Naomi and told them all about the gang wars they were looking into. 

"You're not out on the streets" Naomi glanced between L and Light, "Light, tell me you've managed to get through to this stubborn bastard?" 

L laughed around a sip of wine, "He did, Nomes. Don't worry"

Naomi nodded and shot Light a small smile that said 'Fair play. Well done!'

"Anyway. We have something important to tell you guys" Raye took Naomi's hand in his and L just *knew*

"We're getting married. Next week. Just in case… well, you know"

Light and L knew. Naomi's future was uncertain.

"Holy shit, congratulations!" L jumped out of his seat and smothered Naomi in kisses. "You are going to be so fucking beautiful, do you have a dress yet? Me and Mello could take you dress shopping!"

Light and Raye shared a look, both praying Naomi would take L up on the offer. They didn't want to go dress shopping. 

"Will you be my… well, I guess you can't be my maid of honor but, will you be my main man?"

L grinned. Yes! He could be Naomi's main man! 

"And I would like you to be my best man" Raye smiled at Light, "I was wrong about you. I believed you were just a rookie… I'm sorry I thought that about you"

"Shut up, it's fine" Light waved the apology off, "And I would love to be your best man, Raye"

They drank a toast to the marriage, and spent the remainder of the meal discussing the intimate little things friends discussed. L and Light excused themselves when Naomi started yawning. She needed her rest and they needed to be together. 

That night as they made love L clung onto Light, tears in both of their eyes as they felt the love between them. It was more than just a physical meeting and joining of bodies. They possessed each other's hearts, and as they cried out in completion and clung to each other in the darkness they both cherished each other in a way only they could. They knew they were destined to be together. 

Beyond was dead and gone and they had a future that was untouchable. They would marry and settle down in their villa in Greece. And their fear could stay where it belonged. 

In the past.


	34. Torn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Circumstances beyond L and Light's control threaten to tear their world apart in just a matter of days...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, ALS has decided to get all ANGSTY again 😂😂😂 are you even surprised?

L tried to get on with his day but he was excited. Tomorrow Raye and Naomi were getting married. He and Mello had taken her shopping and she had chosen the most beautiful vintage lilac gown. She looked elegant in it, despite the exhaustion evident in the bags under her eyes and the sickly tint to her skin. 

He wasn't really looking forward to seeing Anton again considering he had yet to address his little bombshell he'd dropped at his engagement party. He hadn't had the time since he'd gone back to work and if he was being honest he had just been avoiding Anton anyway. 

L cleared his mind from such thoughts and threw away the dregs of his coffee. It was time to get back to work and not ponder over Anton. He followed his usual decontamination routine before returning to the labs. He greeted his colleagues and walked over to the body laid out ready for autopsy. 

L stared down at the latest victim of Tokyo's gang related squirmishes. A young man perhaps in his early thirties. Three gunshot wounds but only two exit wounds. L needed to locate that other bullet and get it tested as soon as possible. He assisted in performing the autopsy, thinking about Light as he cut through skin and muscle tissue. L always found it easier to dissociate when doing such things. It certainly made the job easier. 

The X-Rays were back and L immediately spotted what he was looking for. A small object embedded in the left lung. 

With delicate precision he cut into the chest cavity and rooted around with a pair of tongs. He plucked the bullet out and examined it under the harsh light. He'd seen these bullets before. Manufactured in China but common throughout Tokyo, they were vicious little buggers. They were serrated and were nasty to remove as Naomi knew only too well, considering she had been shot with a 'Ripper' as they were called, when she had rescued him from Beyond. 

"Ouch, poor fucker must have felt that" Leila, a small, delicately built coroner whispered in her soft voice as he examined the bullet L was holding up. 

"No doubt" L sighed. He bagged up the bullet and glanced at the man's gaping chest. His organs were all in fairly good shape from what he could see. This man would have lived a much longer life if he hadn't have got himself caught up in the power struggle to take over Shibuya. Oh well, such was life. L left Leila to finish up on her own. Now he had got what he was looking for he wanted to get the bullet tested as soon as possible. 

The tests took the reminder of the day and L rang Light as soon as the results were back: the bullet was a match to those found in the possession of Hideki Ryo, the man Light had tracked down and apprehended on suspicion of three counts of first degree murder and gang affiliation. 

"That's great, Babe!" Light sounded excerbriant, "Thank you so much for rushing those tests through for me. I know you're busy…"

L smiled as he relished his fiance's excitement. Light had worked his ass off these last few days, had come under fire and (if L's suspicions were correct) done his best to protect him from the unsavoury rumors circulating about him through Shibuya's criminal circle. 

L lost his smile as he thought of that. He *was* being targeted, and it was no longer safe for him to walk the streets alone. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and now he knew just how many of Beyond's former associates were after him he could appreciate Light's insistence he work behind the scenes, as much as it pained him to accept it. If it had been Light who was targeted he would have thrown the ultimate tantrum to get him to stay safe. Light had been firm but fair with him, and L had to admit that was just Light all over really. 

"Baby, you okay?"

"Fine. Sorry, lost in my thoughts for a moment. When are you due back?"

"Soon as possible. I'm determined to crack Ryo. So I might be in interrogation a while…"

"Is that a hint, Dear?" L teased. 

"Heh, yeah. No one gets them talking quite like you do, Babe. Must be the sarcasm"

L giggled and felt such a rush of giddy, pure love for the man he could swear hearts and flowers were going to start raining down from the sky like in one of those sappy mangos. 

"I will hang around and help you get this settled" L assured, "Meet you in our office?"

"Sounds hot"

"Shut up, Light" L knew he was blushing and Kitamura was looking at him with a knowing smile. 

"Love you"

"Yes, the same…"

"Hey! Say it back"

L huffed and walked away towards the office quickly. He glanced around quickly before muttering "I Love you too"

"Aw! So cute!"

L groaned when he realized *somehow* he had been in Matsuda's earshot. L glared at him and closed the door in his face. He finished off the paperwork they had left and perked up when he heard Light's voice. As soon as Light appeared L was sorely tempted to just grab him and snog his face off, because it had just been one of those days where he couldn't get him off his mind.He thought maybe it was Naomi and Raye's upcoming wedding that had put him in such a loved-up mood. 

"Hey, beautiful" Light breathed, risking a quick squeeze of L's arm "Fuck I've missed you today. We're taking Ryo down to the interrogation rooms now, if you're ready?"

L nodded and followed Light. Together they worked on Ryo. Light played his customary role of 'good cop' and L told the felon blankly he was looking at 60+ years or execution. L bluffed a little with the lab results and as he predicted Ryo folded. He confessed everything. He had killed 4 people after being forced (in his opinion) to do it. Beyond's successor was a man named 'J' and he had pressured him into killing the petty crooks to secure his hold on Shibuya. 

"So he is the one in charge now? I need more than 'J' if you want to *try* and avoid a swift lethal injection in the arm I am going to need more than *that*" L snapped. When he noticed the man hesitating he shot him a nasty smile. "You know who I am, don't you? You know what he did to me?"

Hiedki Ryo attempted an arrogant smirk, "Yeah, I know who you are. I saw you once. Naked, terrified. You were his frightened little toy!"

L smirked and leaned forward so he was right up in Ryo's face. "Do I look frightened to you now, Ryo-San?"

Light glanced at L in uncertainty. 

"No" Ryo admitted. 

"Good call. I'm not frightened. I'm vengeful, and I will make damn sure you and every other piece of shit who ran with Beyond is thrown under the bus, I promise you that. There are several things that are going to convince me to not pursue a warrant for your execution, and they are: nnames, dates, contacts, descriptions. Fucking *write*" L shoved a pad of paper at the self styled gangster with a snarl. 

Hiedki Ryo knew from experience a man in L Lawliet's case, a man who had endured what he had, would stop at nothing to achieve his vengeance. He knew that because he had once been in his shoes. Hesitantly, he began to write. 

L sat back and called for an artist to take a sketch of 'J' 

Light marvelled at L's ferocious tenacity and had some very unprofessional thoughts about just sinking to his knees and sucking his cock right there in the interrogation room. Because L's drive, his intelligence and his fierce passion for justice were fucking *hot*

L glanced his way and Light cleared his throat, face red and very flustered. L's knowing smirk told him he'd been caught out so Light just offered a small shrug. He couldn't help it if L was a sexy bastard, could he? 

"There" Ryo shoved the paper back to L. L scanned it with a quick glance before he smiled and passed it to Light. Some of the names matched up with their teams investigations. They'd hit the jackpot with Ryo, all thanks to L's no-nonsense 'negotiation' skills. 

"Tell me about 'J'" L snapped. 

"What do you want me to tell you about him? He has black eyes. He wears a mask all the time. No one knows what he looks like" Ryo muttered sulkily. Now that he had handed over all that information he was worried about the repercussions.  
"He was Beyond's lover. Something you have in common" Ryo added spitefully, in a bid to regain some equilibrium. 

"Indeed? I look forward to arresting him then" L turned to the burly security guards, "Lock him up. Cell five. You know, the one with the constantly leaking toilet. I will see what I can do about waving away the Death penalty charge but…suddenly I don't feel so confident as I did before. Such a shame… " L smirked as Ryo shot up and snarled at him in rage. His face twisted in hatred as he realized L had tricked him.

"You bastard!"

"Indeed" L drawled, "Itziou, Manai, get this piece of shit out of my sight. Now"

The guards jumped to attention and grabbed Ryo by the arms, frog marching the struggling man from the room. 

"Oh, Babe, you have no idea what that does to me" Light moaned. 

L shot Light an exasperated look and reached for the tape. "Interview terminated at 18:56" he switched it off and arched an eyebrow at Light. 

"Oh. Fuck" Light cursed, a flush of embarrassment sweeping over his face as he realised his blunder. 

"Don't worry. Provided you make it worth my while I will convince Tina to edit that bit out" L smiled, his previous fire melting away to a warm, smoldering look. 

"You are fucking amazing. Do you know that?" Light breathed in awe. 

"I know" L gathered the notes and slipped them into his bag. "Let's go. We're doing overtime and you know how I feel about that"

Light did know how L felt about that and passed him his coat. They walked out of the office on a high. 

****************

Sadly, that high didn't last long, for when L and Light arrived at their local cafe they ran into someone they really hadn't been expecting to meet again. 

Kiyomi Takada. 

"What the fuck, I thought she had moved to Kyoto" Light hissed. It wasn't lost on either of them that Takada was nursing a baby, nor that she looked physically exhausted. 

"Evidently not" L muttered, his eyes narrowing in hatred as he stared at the woman who had nearly destroyed Light's life. Typically, Takada took that moment to glance up. Shock filtered across her face as she stared at them. 

"I'm leaving" Light said flatly, already turning on his heel. 

"No. Wait" L caught his arm, "I want answers from her. Go and get me a coffee would you?"

"L…"

"Light, please" 

Light sighed and went to get their coffee, glancing back uncertainty as L walked over to Takada. 

"Don't get up" L looked down at her. He sat down opposite her and took a look at the baby. Black hair. Black eyes. Resembled a little wrinkled monkey if he was honest. 

"Lawliet…"

"Takada. And… this is?" L waved a hand at the baby. 

"His name is Kenji" Takada held the child close, as if frightened L's presence would harm or distress the child. L rolled his eyes at her. He supposed there was just no changing people. 

"The child you tried to trap Light with" L shook his head, "To bad it doesn't even look like him, huh?"

Kiyomi flushed. She swallowed thickly and wiped at her eyes. "You stole my future from me, Lawliet. You… made Light…"

L laughed humorlessly, "What did I *make* him, Takada? Himself? Happy?"

"Happy" Light answered. He placed L's coffee on the table and stared at Kiyomi through hard eyes, "And myself. Also, he's my fiance now" Light's smile turned smug "Yeah, gay guys can marry in England" 

Kiyomi looked between them, utterly speechless. She glanced down at her child with tears in her eyes. She had never planned on being a single mother. Her parents were furious with her. She'd been demoted in work after the executive she'd had an affair with pulled some strings. She had had to give up her apartment and move back home. Everything in her life had gone to shit, and standing in front of her was the cause of it all: L Lawliet. 

"I will make you pay for what you've done" Takada promised with a soft note of vengeance in her voice, "I will make you suffer"

L, who had suffered quite enough at the hands of people far more frightening than this broken down single mother, scoffed at the threat and slipped his hand in Light's. They shared a brief kiss before Light announced they were leaving. Neither looked back at the furious woman glaring at them and neither took her threat seriously. 

"So, that was sweet" L announced as they walked to their car, "Karma came back around and roundhoused her in the face, didn't it?"

Light smirked at the expression, because he supposed it had. Takada's scheming and plots had left her with nothing. The fact she blamed her fall on L was just indicative of how deluded and spiteful she really was in Light's opinion. 

"Anyway, fuck her and her idle threats. We have a wedding to prepare for"

Light glanced back at the coffee shop, his stomach churning with unease as he saw Kiyomi's dark gaze following them down the street. He didn't know why, but he felt a shiver of trepidation at her threat. He took it seriously, even if L did not… 

*****************

It was crowded with all of them there. Naomi and Raye's flat was bursting at the seams with flowers, suits, suitcases and people. Light stayed close to L's side and occasionally shot Anton a dirty look. He didn't trust the Russian near his fiance, not after he had confessed he still had feelings for him at their *engagement* party. L knew what Light was doing but said nothing. He didn't particularly want to have to speak to Anton and address that issue either. The focus was supposed to be on Naomi and Ray, and L was determined his own little drama concerning Anton would be taking a back seat. 

"You are going to look so beautiful, Mrs Penbar" L smiled as he admired Naomi's dress. Naomi silently reached for L, folding him into a hug. L tried not to flinch at how gaunt and frail she felt in his arms. 

"I'm going to do my best to stick around for your wedding too, L, but… oh god, the therapy. It's ravaging me. I… I wanted to talk to you about it away from the others"

L nodded and sat with her on the bed. 

"I am eternally grateful for all you've done. I know how costly this therapy is, L, but I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I had a break from it for a month. I know its a risk, but I just want… no, I *need* a break"

L smiled sadly and patted her hand. He knew it was a risk to stop the treatment, especially since her tumor was shrinking, however he also knew how draining it was. Naomi looked about ready to pass out. 

"That is your choice to make, Nomie. If it is getting too much for you than you have to balance the risks and decide for yourself" L advised. 

"You wouldn't be mad or upset?"

"No, Love. You have to do what you think is best. Have you spoken to Raye about it?"

Naomi sighed. "He thinks it's foolish. He was certain you would say the same thing actually… "

Both looked up at the soft rap on the door. L schooled his features when he realised it was Anton holding two cups of tea for them. Naomi glanced between them and prayed to any god who was currently paying attention that there would be no drama tonight. She didn't think she could stomach it. 

"Thanks" L muttered when Anton passed him his cup. Anton met his eye but L looked away pointedly. 

"I do need to speak to you, L" Anton said quietly, "I need to speak to all of you, actually. I've decided I am returning to Russia. I've already booked my flights"

L's mouth fell open. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "This is because of me, isn't it?"

Naomi sighed again and wished for once in her life she could just have a day of peace and quiet. Before a peaceful quiet day would have been boring in Naomi Missora's book, but that was before cancer. Things were different now.

"Partly. I know how deeply you love Light, L, and I don't want to be a presence in the background creating tension between you. Because I know that is what is going to happen. It's also because my mother is sick and I want to be there for her… what I'm trying to say is that today I spent some time thinking and realised Japan holds nothing for me anymore. I will love and miss you all dearly, even Light, but my future isn't here anymore"

L bit his lip, irritated at the sting of tears threatening to fall. 

"L… please don't cry. It's okay. I am sorry I ever told you" Anton admitted, "But I know how much you value the truth so I felt I *had* to. I've booked my flight home for next Wednesday"

"Going to miss you, you big lug" Naomi admitted. Anton tenderly held his frail friend in his arms, being extremely careful not to hurt her unintentionally. 

"I will miss you all as well. But I will keep in touch and… maybe one day you will invite me to your wedding, L? One day when we have both… " Anton trailed off, but L could read between the lines. Anton had meant to say when enough time had passed for them both to move on from what they once shared together. Logically he knew Anton's best chance at that was to return home but it still hurt. 

'What a fucking crappy day' L thought sourly. Between seeing her again, Naomi deciding to stop treatment and the risks that posed and now Anton going away… L suddenly felt a longing for the sunshine and simplicity of Greece. He'd been happier than he had ever been in his life there. 

"Please keep in touch, Ant" L finally managed to utter, "Naomi, I need to go home for a while. I'm sorry, but so much has happened today and I just need time to process it all"

Naomi's sharp eyes caught his at once. She had known there was something troubling her friend! 

"It can wait until *after* the wedding, Babe" L pressed a kiss to her temple. Naomi nodded but stared after L with concern in her eyes as he left… 

******************

L and Light left Matt, Mello and Raye to get merry as they talked and celebrated the upcoming wedding. L wasn't in the mood to stick around and Light sensed that. 

As soon as they arrived home they got ready for bed and curled up in each others arms. They spoke quietly in the darkness about everything that was weighing on their minds: The case, Naomi, Anton, Takada… 

"Keep telling you, Babe, we shouldn't have left Greece" Light whispered into L's hair. "We were happier there"

L nuzzled closer and felt a thrill of desire shoot through him at the feeling of those strong arms wrapping around him. Their lives might be stressful but he had Light. In his arms he felt like he could handle anything. 

"Let's deal with this 'J' person and go back" L whispered, hands sliding down the smooth naked skin of Light's back to hold his hips. He pressed closer and Light kissed him. They kissed slowly and sensually, both feeling their arousal build gradually as they pressed their erections together. Light pulled away with a shaky smile before tilting L's chin up and shattering him to pieces with hungry, slow and powerful kisses once again. 

They didn't speak a word to each other but words were no longer needed. They knew what they wanted now. They wanted to comfort and love each other and they could speak with their bodies to do that. Light eased L's sleep pants over his ass and cupped it, smoothly rolling L on top of him so they could continue their tender kisses while he stroked his ass and toyed with his hole. When L felt Light slip a finger inside he gasped raggedly and kissed harder, making it clear what he wanted. Light reached for the lube and kissed L throughout the process of stretching him open. 

L pushed Light back against the headboard and straddled his hips, using one hand to slick up the hot, throbbing cock he found waiting for him. 

"Ah, yeeeees" Light hissed, eyes closing when he felt the indescribable feeling of L slowly sitting down on his cock and impaling himself. Light resisted the urge to thrust up and breathed through it, hands tracing little circles on L's lower back and ass as L moaned brokenly at the feeling of being penetrated so deeply. 

"Fuck" L cursed, his body tensing as he ground against Light's cock "Oh god, hah! Light!"

Light clasped L's hips and gasped out his own pleasure when he felt that tight, pulsing heat shift and clamp down on him each time L rocked his hips. 

L was making a series of little 'Ah' noises with each movement and Light just wanted to keep doing this forever. He never wanted to let L go. If only they could remain locked in each others arms with their bodies joined together for an eternity… 

"Baby, fuck, you feel so fucking good" Light whimpered, his cock screaming at him to thrust. He lifted his hips in time to L's and they cried out, hands fumbling together. Light grabbed L's other hand and L used it as leverage to move faster, light's cock nearly slipping from his body before being swallowed up again. 

"Baby! GOD! Oh, don't stop!" Light found himself begging with tears in his eyes. The things L was making him feel were indestructible. He felt if L stopped moving he might die. He needed more and more and *more*

L had no intentions of stopping, despite the dull ache blossoming in his straining thighs. He shifted and placed his hands on Light's chest before grinding down and riding him harder and faster. Light choked out a series of garbled moans as L threw his head back and fucked himself on Light's cock. 

The bed creaked in time with L's movements and Light grit his teeth against the overwhelming urge to just slam inside and fill him up. 

"I'm so close" L panted, sweat dripping down his face and peppering Light's chest, "Fuck me, please, aaaah, Li-light! Yes! More!"

Light groaned in relief when L had asked him to fuck him and had surged up before L had even finished speaking. Light slammed in and out, near madness with his need to come. L howled at the sharp jabs into his body and fisted his straining erection in time to them. 

"Come for me" Light gasped out, "Come all over me. Let me see it. Come on, Babe, let me see it" he punctured each word with a powerful thrust and L sobbed in pleasure, his hand flying over his cock until his hips stuttered and he *screamed*

Light watched through wide eyes as L spurted jet after jet of come onto his stomach, his entire body trembling with relief as he went over the edge. Light stilled in his movements, his eyes flicking between L's spurting cock and the look of absolute *bliss* on his flushed face. 

He waited until L was panting and shivering as his orgasam began to subside before he fucked into him desperately, his body tensing as he felt his own orgasam just beyond reach. L collapsed against his chest and panted into his neck as Light fucked into him hard and fast. Light managed to grab L's hair and yank his head up so he could kiss him, just as he felt the first waves of ecstasy smash through him. They moaned into the kiss, Light filling L's shuddering body up with his come as his thrusts became increasingly erratic. L felt a sharp *twinge* inside him and pulled away from the kiss to scream out in pleasure. Electricity seemed to pulse up and down his spine with each thrust and grind of Light's cockhead against his prostate. Light managed a breathless smile before he collapsed back onto the bed feeling wonderfully sated. 

L twitched on top of him, and Light stroked his back until he felt L's body relax once more. 

Their breathes evened out as they breathed each other in, the scent of fresh sweat and passion filling their noses. 

"L… fuck, you are amazing" Light whispered, "You are the most precious person in the world to me"

L managed to lift his head and quip "Ditto, Light" before he laid his head on Light's chest and passed out through sheer exhaustion. Light felt himself slip from L's body and hugged him tighter as he relaxed into sleep, ending a rather trying day with L in his arms made everything alright for Light Yagami. 

*****************

The next day both L and Light felt better. They dressed in their suits and Light tried his best to tame L's unruly hair. He gave up when the spikes made it clear he wasn't going to get anywhere. 

"You need a haircut, Babe" Light grinned as he passed L a coffee. 

L accepted the coffee and shot Light a challenging look "Go fuck yourself, Yagami"

"Tch. Charming" Light leaned down and let his lips brush L's ear "Can't say I'm too mad. That mop of yours is excellent to hold on to when you're sucking my cock"

L felt a warm rush flood through his at the words and flushed slightly. If they weren't running so late he would be sorely tempted to just *jump* Light here and now. As it was, they still had to meet up with Matt, Mello and Anton and the cars were due any minute. 

L shot Light a look that promised he would pay for that comment later. Light simply smirked and followed him to Matt and Mello's apartment. They let themselves in to a scene of utter chaos. Mello was having a meltdown because his hair wouldn't 'floof' properly and Matt was knocking back the coffee like it was the only thing keeping him alive. 

"Jesus" Light muttered as Mello ran around looking for his corsage, very much resembling a headless chicken. Anton offered them a small smile as he sipped at his coffee, as calm and collected as a mountain lake. 

"Mello. Your flower thing is on the coffee table" L sighed as he pointed it out "And Matt, what the fuck man? You look like shit. Pulled an all nighter again?"

Matt grunted in response. 

"Bunch of idiots" L sighed, a small smile curling his lips. He took command and ordered them to get their shit together. They needed to be at the registry office in 30 minutes and that meant they didn't have the time to be dicking around. Matt snagged a can of energy drink and L decided he would *not* be driving in his condition. 

"I'll drive" Light offered, "It's going to be a bit of a tight squeeze for all of his in Jet though…" 

"It'll be fine" L waved off his concerns. They raced to the car and piled in. It was a short drive to the registry office but it seemed fate was being a dick to them. They ran every red light and when a learner driver stalled in front of them L was sorely tempted to lean out of the window and yell at them. Thankfully a slight squeeze of his arm from Matt was enough to soothe his frazzled nerves. L caught Anton staring at him once and hunched further in on himself. Why was his life so damn complicated?! 

L checked his watch and nearly had a panic attack. They were ten minutes late! As Light found somewhere to park L called Raye and apologized but as it happened (luckily) the previous ceremony was running a little behind as well. 

They clambered out the car and just made it in time to find Naomi waiting for them by the stairs. She looked exhausted but radiant, her thinning hair swept artfully away from her face and her makeup hiding most of the signs of pallor and sickness from her face. 

"Harpy" L sighed as he went to hug her, "You look so beautiful, Nomes"

A registry office assistant hurried towards them to invite them to take their seats, but L stayed by Naomi's side. He linked his arm through hers and she smiled shakily up at him. 

"Fuck, I'm so nervous. I never thought I'd get married before"

"Yeah, Raye's a brave man" L teased, earning himself a smack to the chest from Naomi's bouquet. "Seriously, Babe, you will be fine. You look amazing and Raye adores you. If you need to lean on me or anything just do it alright" L added when he felt the faint tremors running through her. 

Naomi did lean a little against him and L held onto her tightly. As the music started they walked together through the ornate doors and down the aisle to where Raye and Light stood waiting for them. L felt a shiver run through him as he thought about his own wedding and Light waiting for him. 

Naomi's parents and sister were smiling at her as she passed and despite her obvious fatigue Naomi smiled back at them radiantly. The ceremony was sweet but short, due to Naomi's weakness and inability to stand for too long. Half way through L felt her legs give and wrapped an arm around her waist. 

"I've got you" L whispered to her, "Say your vows, it's alright"

Naomi relied on L's strength to get her through the ceremony and soon she and Raye were announced as Mr and Mrs Penbar. Mello sobbed dramatically and threw confetti all over the place. 

Between photographs, congratulations and the happy tears of Naomi's family and friends, L and Light couldn't hear their phones going off. It was only when Light went to check the time did he realize he had nine missed calls. All from the station. 

"L, something's up" Light drew his partner to one side and called back. 

What he heard made his blood run cold. 

J had ordered a hit on L Lawliet and Deputy director Kitamura had been caught in the cross fire after an arrest went wrong. 

L watched Light's face as he absorbed the information from the phone call and felt his stomach twist in anxiety. Light looked *ashen* with fear. When Light ended the call he pulled L over to a seat and sat him down. 

"Babe. You're being taken off the case. I'm so sorry, you are deemed too high risk-"

"That's bullshit!" L protested loudly, "Do they not realize *I* was the one who got Ryo to talk?!"

Light sighed and took L's hands in his. His eyes looked flat and L braced himself for even more bad news. 

"Kitamura-San has been killed, L. He was shot dead by one of J's associates and a warning was given that the next target they are after is *you*. My father has stepped in and has already authorized your leave of abscence-"

L was *livid* was this Souichiro's way of getting revenge? Or was he actually trying to protect him? His head spun as he tried to make sense of it all. When Light hesitated L stared at him in disbelief. There was more?! 

"Kiyomi Takada has been linked to J. She must have told him who you are and where you live. You aren't safe, Darling. I want you to pack your things and-"

"I'm not leaving you! You're my partner and I'm not letting you deal with this on your on" L protested hotly, even as his stomach sank. He knew what Light was saying made sense, but he had to try and fight it. It wasn't fair that Beyond's grip on him was still messing up his life. 

"You don't have a choice. A sting operation is currently being planned and I need you to be safe before I can concentrate on it fully. L, love, please listen to me. Go home to England for a while and visit Isabelle. I promise you as soon as it is safe you will be able to come back and-"

L scoffed and shook his head, angry tears in his eyes. He couldn't come back, not from this. For as long as those scum knew who he was and what had happened to him he would always be a target. 

'I will set up on my own then. There is nothing stopping me from entering private investigation…' L wiped his eyes and felt a simmer of interest stir inside him at the thought. He wouldn't have to work for *anyone* then but himself. He could find cases that challenged him but more importantly interested him. 

"Fine. I am quitting the force. I'm done" L held up his hand when Light shook his head. "I will set up by myself and become a PI. I have the skills and the qualifications to do it, and I won't always be looking over my damn shoulder. Plus, if you think I am going to accept your father as my superior you have another thing coming. He's still an asshole, even if he *is* trying to accept me. The fact remains he hates my guts and I'm not overly fond of him either"

In the heat of the moment the tension between them thickened. Light grit his teeth in sheer irritation at how L could suddenly decide to abandon his career and *him* to pursue this new avenue, not to mention L's scathing insults about his father. He knew L was undoubtedly hurt by being targeted again and sent away, but surely L could see it was for the best? Kitamura was *dead* this case had spiralled out of control and L had a price on his head. 

Naomi rushed over to them when she noticed how serious they looked whispering in the corner. 

"What's happened?"

"Everything's gone to shit, Naomi" L muttered bleakley. "You might want to sit down. It appears Anton isn't the only one who will be leaving the country next week. I've quit the force. I'm going to England and Light here and his daddy will be running things"

Light gulped at the barely suppressed anger in L's tone. L had to realize his safety was his main priority? 

L stood up and strode away, too angry to even talk about it anymore. 

"L! Wait! Don't you dare go outside, it isn't safe" Light was on his feet in a heartbeat and rushing after him. L ignored him but he did not ignore Naomi. She called for him to stop and he did, turning to her with tear filled eyes. 

"I know it hurts, Babe. I know it does. It isn't *fair* but nothing is fucking fair. You have to accept the cards you've been dealt, the same as I have. Light is right, you *aren't* safe here anymore. You've heard what they've been saying, that you're the 'forgiven detective who was Beyond's pet' they won't forget that anytime soon, L…"

L looked around the room. He looked at Matt, Mello, Anton and took in their faces, committing them to memory before he slowly turned to look at Light and Naomi. 

"Maybe this 'Forgiven Detective' has had a fucking guts full of always feeling so damn out of place and having a target on his fucking back! Fuck this shit. Tell Daddy he doesn't have to worry about working with me. I quit the force and I quit this xenophobic fucking country" 

Light stared at L, horrified at what he was saying. 

"You're leaving me?"

"I'm leaving Japan. It is up to you if you follow me to England or not, but I'm not staying here" L met Light's eyes and stared at him, an eternity passing between them. "You're place is here, Light, but mine is not. I see that now. I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes"

Light crushed L against him and broke down. Just when things seemed to be turning a corner everything had gone to shit. He kissed L harshly, putting every ounce of passion into it. When he pulled away he held L's face in his hands. 

"I promise when this case is closed I will quit the force as well. I will find you in England and we will set up a PI agency *together* then we are going to *both* fuck off from here and marry in Greece. I swear to you, Babe"

L sniffed but nodded his head. He clutched onto Light tightly and breathed him in, knowing he wouldn't be able to see him, or feel him again for quite some time. 

Bitterly, L went to Matt, Mello and Anton and broke the news. He had already decided he would be leaving the next morning. He couldn't stay and he couldn't have Light worrying about him either. He just had to put his faith in him that Light and his father would be successful in their operation and that Light would return to him. 

Naomi stood with tears in her eyes as she looked at her small group of friends who were soon to be torn apart…


	35. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L returns to England, but he is far from safe and neither is Light. Kiyomi's quest for vengeance backfires with tragic consequences...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than usual since I haven't had much time to write BUT I think a lot happens in it so... 👍

Light couldn't sleep. With each soft 'tick' of the clock he knew the time he had left with L was growing shorter. L had packed as soon as he returned from Naomi's wedding and had barely spoken a word to him. When Light had gone to bed the only thing L had done was hold onto him tightly as if he was afraid to let him go. They'd made love without speaking a word to one another, the tears in their eyes and the desperation to soak each other up saying all that needed to be said between them:

I love you. I need you. Come back to me. 

Light had laid awake for hours afterwards, his mind running in circles as he thought about Kiyomi's threat, Kitamura's assassination, L's horrific past… 

He quietly slipped from L's side as the clock struck three and put pen to paper. He needed to get his thoughts down and he knew L would appreciate the letter. L was hurting and so was he, and when they were hurting they wrote to one another. He wrote to the sound of the clock ticking and L's soft breathing until his work alarm went off. L's flight was at nine and he planned on dropping him off at the airport, even if the thought of it killed him.

"Babe. I'm sorry I was angry and took it out on you"

Light started and turned to look at L, who was blinking at him sleepily. It felt like a knife to the heart, seeing L laying there and knowing it would be awhile before they were together again. He didn't want to spend a *day* apart from him so the thought of L being in another country was excruciating… 

L got out of bed and went to him, wrapping his arms around Light's shoulders as silent tears of misery fell from his eyes. Light gulped and closed his eyes, soaking up the feeling of L's arms around him, L's lithe body pressed against his and the smell of him… 

"That for me?" L murmured as he looked down at the pages scattered over Light's desk, a small smile on his face despite the pain of their impending separation. 

Light couldn't speak through the lump in his throat so he just nodded and pulled L's arms tighter around him. 

"Promise me you will be alright, Light. I'm scared i'm going to lose you. Can't you just come with me to England and get away from this all together?" L huffed out a soft laugh, "Of course you can't" L answered his own question, "You're brave and you will see this case through to the end…"

"This is breaking my heart" Light whispered, "I don't want you to go even though I know you *have* to go. Oh god, L, I don't want you to go!"

L muttered soothing words into Light's ear as he held him, even though he felt just as hopeless and lost as he did. L let go of Light and walked to his bag. He pulled out a ring box and handed it to Light, a small smile on his face. He had been waiting to give it to Light for his birthday, but he felt now was the time. He wanted Light to draw the same strength and comfort from the physical embodiment of their promise to each other the same way he did. 

"Is that…?" Light clutched at the box with trembling hands. 

"My promise to you. Return to me in England and we *will* have a life free from all this shit, Light"

Light opened the box and stared incredulously at the platinum band L had bought him. It was thicker than L's own, and had a stunning piece of amber flanked by two diamonds in the center. 

L put it on Light's ring finger and kissed him, tears falling from both of their eyes as they clutched at each other. 

"Stay safe and come back to me, Light" L whispered against his lips. "Promise me"

"I promise" 

**************

Light rubbed at his eyes as he tried to refocus on the case. It had been a week since he had kissed L goodbye at the airport and the memory of that farewell kiss and L putting the ring on his finger still made his heart ache. He had phoned and emailed whenever he could but the time difference between them and their workloads made it difficult. 

Still. They tried their best, and each word made the pain of their separation ease just slightly. L had promised to write to him and the prospect of getting L's letter soon was the only thing keeping Light going. Kitamura's funeral had been horrific. To see his entire department in mourning for one of their own was something Light had always hoped he wouldn't experience.

'Oh, L, i'm so glad you are safe but u wish you were here with me. I really need you…' Light thought as he stared at his wedding band. He blinked back tears and forced himself to straighten his spine and keep it together. The operation was in its final plans and soon he and his team would be moving in on J. It would be his last mission, and then he would be turning his back on Japan. 

His home was wherever L was now. 

"Yagami-San?" 

Light turned to the junior officer with a strained but patient smile. "Yes, Mamea-San?"

"We're ready to begin the final preparations now, if you're ready?"

Light bit back a sigh and nodded. The sooner this was all over the sooner he could see L again. 

"Of course. After you" Light nodded and walked into the office after her. All going well with their intelligence and plans they would be successful in their operation to take down J and end this petty power struggle for good. 

But even Light had to admit there was more chance of seeing a pig fly past the window. The criminal underbelly of Tokyo was relentless. There would always be someone waiting in the wings to seize power… 

'And that is why I cannot stay here. L will always be a target because of that cunt Beyond' Light gritted his teeth, 'I just hope I'm the one to shot J as well. Maybe even Takada…'

He didn't like thinking such hateful things, but they gave him a fiery determination to get the job done. They gave him the strength and drive he needed so he could see L again. 

Because seeing L again was the only thing that mattered to him. 

****************

"So, Miss… Takada, was it?" J smiled politely and gestured for the young woman to take a seat. "My associates have told me all about you and your grudge against Lawliet. I too, would very much like to see him dead. However, I must admit I'm confused as to why you requested to speak to me in person"

Kiyomi cleared her throat, her nerves apparent no matter how cool and collected she tried to be. She had never dealt with such people before. It was just another indication of how low Lawliet had forced her to go. 

"I wanted to speak to you because I have information you might find useful. We share the same goal: to destroy L Lawliet, however, it's come to my attention he isn't even *in* Japan anymore"

J stared at her, his face (from what she could see of it) appeared calm, but his eyes were coldly furious. 

"Explain"

"Lawliet is English. Light once told me that. I hired the PI and they've informed me L Lawliet left Japan exactly six days ago. Where else would he go but back home? I contacted you because I was hoping we could work together. We have a mutual enemy. Two of them, in fact…"

J let out a deep sigh and sat back down in his chair. This was bad news. He had a score to settle with Lawliet and he couldn't do that with him in the UK. However, leaving Japan would also put his grip on power at risk. He was well aware the police were gunning for him and expected a confrontation any day. It was not an opportune time to move but his desire for vengeance called out for him to take the risk. He trusted his men (to an extent) to hold the fort for a week or so. Would that be long enough to track Lawliet down? 

And what about this sudden help from Miss Takada. Was she not the ex girlfriend of a certain Light Yagami, the current officer in charge of interfering in his business. The arrogance she had shown in showing up with her sprog in tow was outstanding. He could *almost* respect it. 

A sly smile crossed his face as the pieces clicked into place and he decided just what to do. Beyond had once told him there were always moves and countermoves, provided one was intelligent enough to look at the *entire* board. He just so happened to have a very important piece sat in front of him. 

J pressed a panel on his desk and asked for two of his associates to enter his office. As soon as they appeared he nodded at Takada. 

She shrieked as she was suddenly pulled up by the arm, her child just inches away from her began to scream. 

"Thank you for your information, Miss Takada. You've been most helpful. Unfortunately, I cannot allow you to live."

"My baby!" Kiyomi sobbed as she tried to reach for her son, horror smashing through her at the prospect of what might happen. She had only wanted revenge on Lawliet! She didn't know talking to these people would lead to this! "Please! I can do whatever you want, I can find out anything for you. Just please don't hurt Kenji"

J let out a long suffering sigh and strolled over to the baby. Wide black eyes stared back up at him. 

"Please, J, please… " Kiyomi whispered. 

"Boys, I need to call an urgent meeting. I have business in England for a few days. Expect the feds to try something and maintain my hold here. If you don't… anything Beyond may have threatened you with before will seem like a walk in the park" to prove his point J calmly pulled out his gun and aimed it at the child's head. 

"NO!" Kiyomi screamed as J pulled the trigger. Her wide eyes saw an image that no mother should ever see: her baby's soft little head splattering open as the bullet ripped into it. 

"Kenji! KENJI!! you fucking MONSTER!" Kiyomi tried to lunge for him but J wheeled around and smashed her back with a swift elbow to the face. He aimed the gun at her and Kiyomi didn't try to fight. Acceptance flashed through her eyes before the bullet smashed through her skull. 

"Clean this mess up" J snapped as he walked away from the desecration he had caused. "And make sure it's leaked to Yagami. I want him to attack us and you will slaughter him and his entire fucking unit, understand?"

"Yes, Sir!"

J ignored them, for his thoughts were already far away in England. He would track down L Lawliet and he would destroy the man *his* Beyond had loved and hated so dearly. He would torture him first, make him scream. Then he would inform him of Yagami's death. Perhaps he would rape him too… and then when L had screamed himself hoarse and was begging for death he just *might* grant it. 

*******************

L sighed as he looked through his old bedroom draws. Isabelle had left his room exactly as it was for his visits home and he was grateful for that. He had found little trinkets from his childhood: notes he'd passed in class about the silliest of things with his best friend Trent who was now, unfortunately, long gone. L smiled as he read through them, nostalgia bringing tears to his eyes. Oh to be twelve again and have no other problems than whose house they were sleeping over on a Friday night… 

L thought about Light and checked his phone. It would be two am in Japan and he didn't want to chance a call. Light would either be passed out in an exhausted slumber or, more likely, still working on the case. 

L sighed and fell back on his bed, admiring the way his ring glinted in the light. Almost without thinking L plucked out the letter Light had written him. It was slightly crumpled and the ink was smudged from his tears but he could have recited it at this point. He had read it so many times he knew the words by heart, but to read Light's words and see his neat handwriting… it comforted him, just as Light knew it would. 

'Baby, 

Just writing these words to you is so fucking difficult. You've taught me how to accept who I am and you have my life worth living, so to have to part with you now is heartbreaking. 

I never want to be without you by my side. You are the single most precious thing to me. You are my entire WORLD. That is the reason you must leave Japan. I will not risk your life, my darling, not for anything. I swear to you I will wipe out anyone who harms you and I WILL return to you when this is over. My home is wherever you are, Japan or Greece or Britain- it doesn't matter. 

Just promise me you will keep yourself safe, Love. You deserve none of this and I am so sorry this has had to happen. Just know one day we will be sat together on lover's hill looking back on these dark days and we will have a bright future to look forward to. 

I am going to love you forever, L. 

Stay strong for me, Baby. You are the strongest person I know.

All my love and devotion, 

Light'

"You stay safe for *me*, Light" L mumbled as he folded up the paper and tucked it away. L closed his eyes and decided a nap was in order. He was still suffering jet lag and hopefully if he slept he would dream he was back in Light's arms… 

****************

As L dreamed of Light, thousands of miles away Light recieved news that rocked his world. Kiyomi and her newborn son had been assassinated by J. What was worse, was that their sting was not only anticipated but thoroughly prepared for. 

"God fucking DAMMIT!" Light growled, his stomach churning at the thought of that poor baby's murder. Kiyomi, he couldn't bring himself to mourn. She had chose to attack L and associate with the underworld in her bid for vengeance but her child? That boy had been an innocent. 

Light barked out an order for the operation to be put on hold. He had to speak to Raye and Naomi, because he knew they would be able to help him make this monumental decision. His team balked at his order but did as he requested. The units that had been scheduled to storm six properties in Shibuya were called off. Light stalked out of the office and kept his hand near his gun. 

It felt like he was surrounded by enemies. He knew why J had killed Kiyomi: to send a message to him and to force his hand. He also knew unless he went to Raye and Naomi there was a possibility he *could* be goaded into acting first and thinking later. 

L's safety was at stake, and he would not fuck this up.


	36. Screams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light's world comes crashing down around him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update as I am away this weekend! ❤

"He's trying to goad you into attacking him outright" Naomi said once Light had explained what J had done to Kiyomi and her child, "Thank god you came to us before you ordered the attack to go ahead. You have to hang back a little, Light" Naomi cautioned as Light got up and began to pace once again. 

"He shot a baby! He's Beyond's fucking ex, Naomi. He's gunning for the both of us" Light sighed, utterly exhausted and beyond stressed. His hair was all over the place and bags under his eyes were testament to just how poorly he had been sleeping lately. 

"L is safe in England" Raye tried to sooth Light and save their carpet from wear as Light resumed his angry pacing. 

"He shouldn't even have to be in another country to be safe in the first place. Fucking Beyond! The death I gave him was too quick and now we have his psychopath little love interest to deal with" Light finally stopped his pacing and slumped back down on the sofa. He met his friend's concerned eyes with a trembling smile, "I'm sorry. I just really miss L"

"We all do" Naomi muttered, her eyes softening at thought of her best friend so far away from her. In the week since L's departure their group had fallen apart. Mello was distraught Anton had left and was blaming L for it. She had defended L by saying it wasn't his fault Anton still had feelings for him and that L hadn't made Anton leave. Obviously that had led to Mello throwing an epic bitch fit and storming out of her apartment. He hadn't spoken to either of them since. 

"Light, you need to sleep. You're dead on your feet and you need to make some heavy decisions with this case. Just stay the night and I will come to the station with you tomorrow, okay?" Raye placed a hand on Light's shoulder and stared him down. The last thing anyone needed was Light going off the rails right now. The station was still in a shambles after Kitamura's death and there was an undercurrent of fear rippling through the detectives and officers. Everyone knew their lives were on the line in this mission to control the warring gangs of Shibuya and Kanto. 

"Right…" Light muttered, wiping a hand across his eyes in frustration. He knew Raye was right and that he really couldn't think like this but he just felt so *angry* it was hard to sit still. 

"Ring L, he should be waking up soon" Naomi passed Light her phone, "Put him on speaker, let's see what he has to say about all of this, you did say you told him, right?" she narrowed her eyes at Light and as she predicted he folded immediately. 

"Okay! Fine, I haven't told him what's happened yet, alright? I didn't want him to feel guilty" Light grabbed the phone and scrolled through Naomi's contacts. L was saved under 'Sweet-loving-asshole' and Light raised an eyebrow. 

"What? He has me saved as 'The bitch'" Naomi defended hotly. 

"Well, that's not exactly stretching the truth" Raye snickered before exposing himself to go and make some tea. Light smiled at the banter because it relieved him they were all still able to laugh and joke despite the shit they were all going through. 

"He needs to know and he will be able to help you make the decisions you need to make" Naomi nodded as Light dialed L. Light pulled a face at her, irritated at Naomi's uncanny ability to catch him in a lie. 

As it happened L didn't answer his phone. Light shot Naomi a 'well, I tried' look and tried not to look too smug. It was only eight am in the UK, there was no way L would be awake yet. 

"You're still telling him" Naomi shook her head at Light's smug look and turned away, concern biting at her. Why did she feel as if something terrible was just around the corner? 

*******************

L, meanwhile, was awake, but had left his phone upstairs as he ventured to the kitchen to find coffee and cake. The large manor house was exceptionally quiet that morning and L found it a bit eerie. Hadn't Isabelle said she'd kept most of the staff on? Where were they all? 

'Okay, this is a bit troubling' L thought when he realized even Ethel the cook wasn't bumbling around the kitchen and singing off key in her horribly endearing voice. She'd been doing that every morning at 8 am on the dot for as long as he could remember. 'Would Isabelle have given everyone the day off today?'

L felt his stomach tighten in anxiety and glanced around. The security cameras were all on and checked regularly. It wouldn't hurt to have a look at them, just in case. He left the kitchen and wandered down through the deserted corridors to Quillish's office, his trepidation growing with each step. Almost without thought he reached for his gun and realized he was in pajamas so obviously he didn't have it on him. 

A dripping sound that had been in the back of his mind finally got his attention as it increased in tempo. L looked around and frowned as he tried to locate where the noise was coming from. He let out a choked gasp as he looked up and saw four maids hanging from the rafters, the blood from their slit throats dripping onto the floor. 

"Oh my god… Isabelle?!" L stumbled into the office to check the security footage but as he flipped through the camera feeds his heart sank. They'd all been deleted. 

'I need a gun' L thought as he rushed towards Watari's cabinet. He let out a curse when he yanked it open and saw the gun cases were empty… 

"It seems you've mislaid your weapons, Lawliet. Such a *shame*"

L's spine went rigid at the sweetly mocking tone and he slowly turned to face the man speaking to him. He knew at once who it was and his blood ran cold at the sight of those darkly deranged eyes gleaming at him. It was like looking at a ghost. 

"J" L whispered, utterly transfixed with terror as the man grinned at him, one hand clutching a knife ('Oh god, that's Beyond's knife') and the other a rag doused with chloroform. L could smell the chemicals from across the room and backed away as J approached him. 

"Nowhere to run off to now, Lawliet" J smirked as L knocked the desk over to create a barrier between them. 

"Keep away from me you fucking freak!" L gasped when his back hit the wall. In a blind panic he looked around for anything that could be used as a weapon. Just when his fingers had curled around the brass stand of a lamp J slammed into him and grabbed his hair. L's body shuddered as J slammed his head against the wall with a sickening *crack* and the lamp stand slipped from his lax fingers. 

J tugged and kicked the stand away from them before yanking a still stunned L's head back and holding the chemical soaked rag over his nose. 

L's vision swam as he tried to fight it but the blow to the head had made that impossible. He lost consciousness to the sound of the brass lampstand rolling across the floor. J let L fall to the floor in a heap and pulled out his phone to give the command to begin torching the manor house. He'd got what he had come for after all. 

"I am going to have so much fun making you pay for what you've done, Lawliet" J whispered as he knelt down and stroked bloody strands of black hair from L's face in an almost tender fashion, "Beyond always loved you, even when he was mine he would sometimes call out your name…and why? Look at you, you're nothing special" J let go of L's head and watched it loll against his chest. 

"Sir. We've found this one hiding in the cellar"

J turned and saw a bloody and bruised woman struggling in the grasp of two of his guards. The woman's eyes widened as she spotted L slumped against the wall. 

"You must be Isabelle, the one L was so desperately searching for" J's eyes lit up as a wicked idea entered his mind. "Tie her up, she's coming with us. She was L's nanny so I'm sure she won't mind playing a little game I have planned for later, will you, Isabelle?"

Isabelle shook, her eyes wide and trembling when J advanced upon her. She tried to scream but his backhand across her face stifeled it at once. Her head jerked to the side and she was unconscious before J had even returned his hand to his side. 

"Tie them both up and meet me outside. Don't forget to torch the place fully or you will answer for it. Understood?"

"Yes, sir"

J smiled in satisfaction and left the room, already thinking about what methods he could use to extract an apology from L. He would make the bastard repent ever having been Beyond's lover. He would make him scream for death long before he was willing to grant it… 

********************

Light chewed on his lip as he checked his phone for the seventeenth time that hour. Something was wrong. It had been *hours* and L still hadn't responded to his messages. When he called it went straight to answer phone and that was a huge red flag. L always answered him, even if it was to tell him to fuck off because he was tired and trying to sleep. 

Light glanced down at his ring before dialing L's phone again. 

Nothing. 

"Dad!" Light spotted his father and quickly drew him to one side, "Something's wrong, L isn't answering me. He hasn't answered me since yesterday…"

"He's safe in England, Light" Souichiro ran a hand through his hair. He didn't much like his son's partner but he knew he was out of harms way there so why was Light strung up on his safety when his officers lives were at risk? Everyone was waiting for Light to give the go ahead to start the raids and he was more concerned about Lawliet. 

"Is he?" Light whispered, "Are any of us safe, Dad? Kitamura is gone and everyone else is wondering if it's going to be them next" Light huffed out a sigh "Raye and Naomi said to hang back a little to lull them into a false sense of security. What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should stop worrying about Lawliet and get your head in the case" Souichiro sighed, "This is a lot of responsibility, Light, I realize that but the longer we leave things as they are the more unnerved the officers will become"

Light nodded, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. He knew what his father was saying made sense and he had left it a day since Takada's death. He couldn't help it if his mind wasn't focused on the case, L was his world and his world had suddenly disappeared! 

Light grabbed his phone as the screen lit and up but frowned at the withheld number. 

"Yagami" he answered. 

"Hello There, Light Yagami. You seem to have misplaced something" the oily purr set Light's teeth on edge and his vision swam. He slumped into a seat as he forced himself to just breath. 

"Where is he? I swear to god if you hurt him I will rip your fucking heart out!"

Souichiro shot Light a worried look as his son began to tremble with rage. 

"Shit. I didn't get the memo. Hang on a minute…"

"Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!"

Light placed a hand over his mouth as he forced his bile back down. That was L. L was screaming… 

"Sorry. I might have accidentally started hurting him, Light. While I have you on the phone, what would you say you'd prefer for L to keep: his hands or his feet? I'm in the mood to chop off some limbs…"

"You bastard. You fucking bastard" Light was on the verge of tears as his world crashed down around him. L's screams were relentless and his mind tortured him with various images of what horrors were being inflicted on him. 

"Hands it is then" J chirped, "My men are expecting you, Yagami. Order your team to stand down or it will be arms and legs next. I'll even mail them to you"

"No! Wait-"

Light screamed and flung his phone from him, angry tears pouring from his eyes. He violently shrugged off his father's hand from his shoulder and lurched to the nearest bin to empty his stomach. 

L's screams were ringing in his ears and each time he replayed them he heaved. 

"J's in England. Captured L. He's torturing him" Light finally managed to choke out once the worst of the heaving had stopped. "Call of the mission"

"But Light-"

"Call it off! L's life is at fucking stake" Light snarled, as he struggled to his feet. He needed to get to Matt and the others. If he was going to take down J then this time he wouldn't be doing it by the book. 

This time it was personal. He ignored the whispers and stormed out of the room, his teeth clenched as he thought about stabbing J and ripping his cock off just as he had done to Beyond Birthday. 

"I will rescue you, L. I promised you I would protect you…" Light yanked open his car door and floored it to Naomi and Raye's apartment. In between his erratic driving and a quick group message to meet at Naomi's flat NOW he did his best to keep it together. 

He thought about their time in Greece and decided as soon as this nightmare was over they would just fuck off to their villa on the mountain and leave everything behind. Police work, Japan *everything* 

It would just be the two of them. 

'Don't give up, L. Keep fighting till I can get to you' Light wiped at his eyes and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He took deep breaths and repeated the mantra over and over in his head:

'L will be alright. I will kill J. L will be alright…'

He had to believe that…


	37. Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is tortured and Light is betrayed. Admist all this tragedy it is Naomi and Raye who save the day as they hunt down J...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Torture, Rape and the boys getting hurt. This chapter is an Angst fest but fluff and happiness is just around the corner so hold on!

A bucket of cold water over his head brought L back to terrifying awareness of his current situation:

He was strung up in a decrepit old flat, his back on fire as the whip marks burned at his flesh. J had phoned Light just as his henchmen had began pulling teeth. L spat out a mouthful of blood and shivered in revulsion. He had heard what J had said and he was terrified. If by some divine miracle he survived this ordeal he would not be returning to Light in one piece… 

"Wakey wakey, Lawliet" J pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. He crossed his legs and toyed with a large serrated knife as he stared up at him. L met his gaze even though he was trembling with fear. He wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction of looking away from him. 

"I'm awake, you prick" L muttered weakly as water dripped down his face. 

"Oh good. I was begining to think you'd gone a bit soft. You've only had a whipping and a few teeth pulled, and there's plenty more of them to come out"

L choked back a whine of distress. Feeling those pliers clamp down on his teeth and rip them from their sockets was the single most painful thing he had ever experienced in his life and yet somehow he knew he was to endure worse. J's eyes glinted with the same madness that had lurked within Beyond. J, however, hated him far more than Beyond ever did. Even in his darkest, most cruel moments Beyond's love for him had stayed his hand. There would be no such mercy with J. 

'He's going to torture and kill me. Oh god, Light! I'm so sorry I won't get to see you again' L jerked his head to the side as he felt the cold kiss of metal against his jaw. 

"No. Leave off the teeth for a while. He has plenty of those. I did say to your husband-to-be we would be moving onto hands, and you know how much I hate breaking promises" J leaned forward with an excited twinkle in his eyes, "Are you left handed or right handed, L?"

L gulped hard. Fuck. He was going to lose a hand. Maybe two. He tried to brace himself as he watched the henchman (some brute named Touya) walked over to the table bearing his tools of the trade. Whips, pliers, saws, a meat cleaver… 

L drew in a deep breath as Touya's meaty fists wrapped around the meat cleaver. 

"If you lie to me you will end up losing both of them" J shot L a sunny smile, "And we wouldn't want that to happen quite yet, would we?"

L was ambidextrous and could use both hands however he did use his left more than his right… 

"I'm left handed" L croaked, his stomach churning with unease as Touya sauntered over to him. 

"Of course you are. You have to be different, don't you, L? Beyond was left handed too, did you know that?"

"Of course I knew that" L whispered "I knew everything about him for a time. I loved him and he loved me"

J snarled and shoved Touya aside before yanking L's head back by his hair and spitting in his face. 

"You loved him?! No, L. You and Yagami killed him. *I* was the only one who truly loved him and you took him from me!"

L shivered as he felt J let go of his hair and grab his wrist. He knew he had to keep him talking. J was the sort of person who could be sidetracked if his vanity was played to. If L could keep him talking long enough there was a chance he could escape this ordeal sans just a few teeth (which could easily be fixed with implants *Provided* he kept J talking long enough to spare any more being ripped out!) 

"I'm sorry, J. I know you loved him" L eyed the meat cleaver, "and I wish for both of your sakes things had turned out differently"

L had another faceful of spit for his response however he noticed he had struck something in his tormentor. J was looking at him with an intense sort of stare. L quivered as he recognized it for what it was; hate filled lust. A desire to take him violently and cause him pain, just like Beyond had done. 

"I can see why he was so taken with you, Lawliet. Do you know I even dyed my hair black at one time to emulate you?"

L swallowed thickly and shook his head. J's hired thug stood around clutching onto the cleaver looking like he wasn't sure what J wanted him to do. He hovered uselessly as L kept J talking. 

"He was obsessed with you, wasn't he? Why do you think that was?" J continued, his eyes glued to L's face and scrutinizing him for any signs of a lie. 

"He was mentally ill. And once upon a time we did love each other… " L spotted the thug lying down the cleaver and prayed he wouldn't pick it up again. L spotted Touya on the phone and hoped it would serve as a decent enough distraction. 

L felt his breath hitch in his throat as a bloodied and beat up Isabelle was dragged into the room. 

L caught her eye and hoped she could see how sorry he was for her being dragged into all of this mess. 

"You took him away from me, L. You took the only person I have ever cared for away. Now you are going to see how that feels" J whispered maliciously as he picked up a knife and strode over to Isabelle. 

"Isabelle! I'm so sorry!" L cried out as he saw the fear flash in her eyes. 

"They will come for you, L!" Isabelle called back, even as her body shuddered. J had stabbed her straight in the stomach and blood gushed onto the tiled floor. 

"Nanny! No!" L sobbed as Isabelle was dropped to her knees, her life blood flowing out of her. He couldn't even think about what she had just said properly. He could only stare down at her in utter helplessness as she twitched, moaned and then went still. 

"You will pay for that!" L swallowed thickly, "I swear to you, J" L replayed Isabelle's last words. Who where 'They?' Did she mean Raye and Naomi? Light?

"Sir, we've just heard from the men in Shibuya…"

L felt his stomach drop. If Light had given the go ahead for the strike to take place he would pay for it with his life. Would Light have done that or had his father gone over his head? 

J snarled and snatched the phone away from Touya. He glared at L for the duration of the phone call until he dropped the phone to the ground and stepped on it. 

"Well, L, you're boyfriend has been a busy bee"

L said nothing but did take a dee, bracing breath. Whatever was to come he would endure. It sounded like J's operation in Shibuya had been hit pretty hard and he was pleased about that, even if it did cause him pain. 

J walked around him and L closed his eyes as he felt his breath on the nape of his neck. 

"I'm going to kill you, L, but first I am going to see just how good you are. Struggle all you want, it's going to be excruciating"

L yelped as he felt his jeans yanked down his hips and gasped for breath as panic set in. Each touch against his skin was a threat and J seemed to relish in his mounting fear. 

As J bent him at the waist and shoved himself inside a scream of terror ripped from L's throat. J had said it was going to be excruciating but oh god did that feel like an understatement. 

"Light! Oh god, Light help me!"

His only answer was J's dark chuckle in his ear and pain. 

So much pain… 

********************

Light was furious with what his father had done. He had told Raye and Naomi of L's location (gleaned from the tracker L still wore in his watch) and his intentions of going straight to England to confront J and kill the bastard. 

However his father had moved independently of him and had given the go ahead for the strikes to begin despite L's life being forfeit if they went ahead. Light had had no choice but to intervene in the ensuing gun fight and cancel his flight. He hadn't even had the time to tell Raye and Naomi of his change of plan. He hoped they would understand. He hoped they could forgive him. 

"I will *never* forgive you for this!" Light snarled as he clutched at his stomach. He'd been shot and one had hit him straight in the stomach. He knew full well if he didn't get medical help and fast he wouldn't make it. He was simply losing too much blood. 

Souichiro was gaunt and pale as he knelt next to his fallen son and put pressure on his wound, tears in his eyes as he begged Light to hold on until help could arrive. 

"If L dies it is your fault! I could have been there with him right now, you bastard!" Light spat, wishing he wasn't so badly injured so he could get the hell away from the man who called himself his father. The fighting had been brutal and had lasted almost a day, but at the end of it the police had succeeded in toppling J's burgeoning empire. 

"I had to strike when I did. We've won, Light! J's men have either deserted him or have been killed-"

"What about L?! You think I give a fuck about any of that? J said if we attacked he would kill him. Godammit, Dad, if I survive this I swear I never want to fucking see you-Aaaaghh! Again! Fuck, this hurts" Light clutched at his stomach and ground his teeth together to combat the pain. 

He thought of L and prayed he would be strong enough to make it through whatever torture that sadistic bastard was putting him through. His phone beeped and Light ordered his father to answer it. 

"Light, listen. We are outside the block of flats where L is being held. We will call you when we've got him" 

Light burst into tears at the sound of Raye's strained voice. Raye and Naomi had pulled through for him! Raye must have found out about the strike and taken the inaitive to go to L. Light had never been more thankful for his ex partner and the formidable Naomi Penbar in his life. Even though she was riddled with cancer she had traveled halfway across the world with Raye to rescue L. He gulped and tried to speak but couldn't. He was shaking with the pain now but he had to try. 

"Save… L! Please" he finally managed to rasp. Raye replied he had the British police with him and that he would ensure L was safe before Light heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire in the background and the phone cut out. 

His father called his name and Light blinked up at him as he wondered why his father's face suddenly looked so blurry… his phone fell to the floor through suddenly nerveless fingers. 

"Light!"

Light slumped forward, his laboured breathing evening out as consciousness left him. 

****************

*2 months later*

The first thing Light thought about upon waking was how fucking *dry* his mouth felt. He swallowed thickly and tried to moisten his lips. It felt like he had swallowed sandpaper. 

The fluorescent lights of the hospital ward hurt his eyes and he flinched away from them. 

"He's awake! Matt! He's waking up!"

'Mello?... Is that… oh god! Oh god, L!' light's eyes snapped open and he tried to look around, panic setting in as the room slowly came into focus. 

"Oh god, Light! I thought you'd never wake up!" Sachiko sobbed as she stroked her son's hair, "Oh, darling, look at me"

"L" Light choked out, his eyes finding his mothers. 

Sachiko put a hand to her mouth and tried to answer but was prevented from doing so as Dr's and nurses crowded round to check on Light. 

"Two months he's been in a coma" one whispered "It's a mircale he's awake!"

"L!" Light yelled "Where is he?!"

Sachiko pushed the Dr aside and gripped her son's hand. "He is alive, sweetheart, but he is…" Sachiko shook her head, wondering how she was going to explain all of what had happened to her son. 

"Where!" Light begged, tears in his eyes as he struggled to sit up. He could see Matt and Mello in the room but no Raye and no Naomi. His stomach churned at their abscence. 

"Raye and Naomi are with him in Greece. He's undergoing therapy and waiting for you to wake up, it's alright now, Light, just relax buddy. Let these people take care of you and once you're better you can speak to L, okay?"

Light slumped back in relief as Matt's soothing words washed over him. Light fell asleep once again to the sounds of machines bleeping and the soft weeping of his friends and mother… 

When Light next awoke it was Matt who sat with him and explained what had happened. 

Raye and Naomi had been successful in rescuing L but half of their team had been wiped out in the process. Raye had been shot several times in the process but it had been Naomi, fearless Naomi, who had shot and killed J. She had shot him straight through the heart. 

Matt went on to gently explain J had been about to chop off L's hand when Naomi had shot him. When Light begged to know what had happened Light had no choice but to tell him about the whipping, the branding and how L had had several teeth pulled. 

"Oh god, my poor baby" Light whispered through his tears, "What else? Please tell me there is nothing else…"

Matt sighed and squeezed Light's hand. "He was raped and brutally… he… uh, lost a lot of blood and had to have surgery and a transfusion but he's… he got through it, Light. He knows you were in a coma and went to Greece to wait for you to wake up"

Light wished with all his heart he hadn't been in a coma for two months. He needed to be with L *now*

"Light, he told me to tell you he loves you and he will wait for you forever" Matt offered him a warm smile, "And that he hates your father and that he is a prick"

Light huffed out a laugh. He and L were in agreement on that front. 

"You need to rest now. L is okay and you will be ok too" Matt assured as he readjusted Light's pillows, "Just rest and soon you will be with him again"

Light closed his eyes and fell into dreams bathed in sunshine and of the olive orchards and vineyards of Greece where his love was waiting for him… 

********************

L had not used his time in Greece in vain. As soon as he was fit enough to be discharged he bought himself and Raye and Naomi luxurious villas. They had decided after this recent brush with death enough was enough. They would all settle down together and focus on their families. 

Naomi was nine weeks pregnant, something none of them had expected whatsoever. Her decision to stop her treatment suddenly made sense. Perhaps on a subconscious level she had known? 

L was undergoing psychological therapy and had had his missing teeth replaced by implants, but he didnt feel whole. 

He wouldn't feel whole until Light was by his side again. 

"Light is doing well, it won't be long before he's strong enough to come here" Naomi smiled at him as they sat out on their sunny terrace, "And then we can leave this fucking nightmare behind us. Oh, Matt and Mello have said they're coming too. They discussed it this morning. I'm sorry I forgot to say earlier… " Naomi placed a hand over her belly and smiled sadly. She didn't know if she would survive to see her child grow up but one thing she did know was that her child would be a fighter. 

L smiled at the news. He would have his own little family in Greece away from Japan and all the horror associated with its relentless gang wars. He hoped Light understood why he couldn't go back to see him… 

"You need to have that operation, Naomi. I know it's a risk with the pregnancy but your tumor has shrank despite the break in treatment" L sighed as he thought back on the less two months, "Now is the time, babe, and I will help you whatever way I can. I owe you and Raye my life twice over now"

Naomi smiled and reached for L's hand. 

"Stay by my side?"

L squeezed back. "Always"


	38. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wounds of the past slowly begin to heal as the gang move forward in their lives. L and Light are finally reunited after months of separation and Light realises his journey has gone full circle...

Light spent three months undergoing therapy and wishing with all his heart he could just heal faster. L's letters and the news that Naomi's tumor had been removed (as well as a pregnancy no one saw coming) spurred him on in his sessions. He refused to see his father and maintained a rigorous schedule until he was up on his feet and walking around once again. His torso was littered with scars from numerous operations but he didn't care about that. 

The only thing he cared about was getting the hell out of Japan and having L back in his arms once again. 

Matt and Mello visited him daily to update him on the sale of the apartment. Light knew money wasn't a motivator for L and went for the cheaper option to sell faster. They both just wanted *out*

"Urgh, we had two visits today and the old woman said our apartment smelt like weed" Mello shot his boyfriend an accusatory look, "It doesn't look like we will be selling up anytime soon"

Light sighed as he pushed his salad around his plate. He wanted to go already and as much as he loved his friends their apartment sale, or lack thereof, could hold them back. He had to think of something… 

"My mother" Light snapped his fingers as the brainwave hit him. "Let her into the apartment and ask her to clean it up. I don't know how she manages to do it but my grandparents once visited and stunk the house out with urine and pipe tobacco. Within a day of them leaving my mum had clean the house from top to bottom and all the smells were gone" 

Matt and Mello grinned at each other. Light was a genius! If there was anyone who could get rid of the stink of Matt's weed it would be the cleaning machine Sachiko Yagami. 

"Make sure you pay her well. *Very* well. Mum's kicked dad out again and i want to make sure she's well provided for when I leave" Light toyed with his salad as he deliberated just transferring the entirety of their apartment sale to his mother. L wouldn't mind, in fact, he had been the one to suggest it… 

Light felt his phone buzz in his pocket and his face lit up in delight: L. 

"Baby!"

"Hey, Love, how are you feeling today?" L's wonderful voice warmed his heart. Light smiled goofily and Matt and Mello rolled their eyes at him. They excused themselves to go and grab a coffee and ring his mother. L didn't ring Light too often as he said it was 'painful' to hear his voice from so far away. These phone calls were special, and as such they deseverd privacy. 

"I'm doing okay. I'm walking around now. I'm hoping to be discharged by the end of this week. What about you, Babe? Are you okay?"

L heaved a sigh and Light grimaced in sympathy. "I'm okay I suppose. I just miss you and… well, I sold the manor. I couldn't bear to return to it after Isabelle's death. It went through this morning and I just feel like shit really" L admitted. "J and Beyond took so much from us, Light… sometimes I wonder how the hell we even made it through"

"Because we love each other and nothing can break us" Light answered at once. 

L breathed a sigh and L could almost see that shy, beautiful smile of his. 

"You're right. God I love you, Light. Today I had an appointment with Lisa and we discussed J and Beyond and what they did to me. I think I pleasantly surprised her when I was I wasn't afraid of you… in that way. I don't think I *can* be afraid of you"

Light closed his eyes and soaked up L's words because that is one thing he had been scared of. He and L hadn't really discussed how their relationship would be once they were reconciled and Light had even consigned himself to having a celibate relationship with L after J's horrific attack. To hear L had such faith and trust in him brought tears to his eyes. 

"Whenever you are ready, my love. There's no rush" Light finally whispered in reply, "Just heal, Baby, okay?"

"Come back to me soon, Love" L sounded wistful, "You can get to experience Nomie's pregnancy hormones in all their glory. Do you know yesterday she threw a fit because there was no nutella in the house. Raye and I had to drive a forty mile round trip just to find a shop that stocked it!"

Light laughed as he imagined Naomi screaming the villa down. Her craving for pickled opinions dipped in Nutella was pretty vile, but then Light decided who was he to judge the strange and mysterious things pregnancy could do to a woman. 

They chatted for a few more minutes until it was time for L to take Naomi to her check up and they ended the phone call the same way they always did, Light said; "Don't forget to write to me. I love you, I love you, I love you"

And always from L: "Ditto, Light"

***************

"Well, Miss Penbar! You are something of an enigma. We've received your recent blood work back as well as your scans and I must admit we were all astonished at your progress!"

L smiled at Naomi and took her hand in his. Naomi ran a hand through her short black crop of her and gave a trembling smile. After everything that had happened she really hadn't expected to be here: in a private clinic in Greece with her best friend by her side and a *baby* growing inside her. 

"Dr, I've been assured by our own specialist I will be fit enough to have a C-section… but is there any chance I might be able to give birth naturally?"

L shot her a look that clearly said don't push the boat. 

The Dr offered a sad smile as he shook his head. "I am sorry, but due to your health issues that is impossible"

Naomi sighed softly but didn't push it. She had her babies well being to think of first and foremost. 

"Too posh to push, Nomie" L muttered under his breath to lighten the mood. It worked. Naomi sniggered then burst into laughter, tears catching in her lashes as she shook her head at the asshole sitting next to her. 

"You know, I'm seriously re-considering his middle name now" Naomi teased as they finished up the appointment and walked down the long corridors. 

"No! You can't. His name is going to be Raye L Penbar and that's final" L flashed Naomi a smile and held open the door for her. She was really starting to get a belly on her now and he could tell she was getting tired. He marvelled at the strength this woman possessed. She'd battled cancer and saved his life twice. She'd taken bullets for him and would gladly do it all over again. 

"Fine" Naomi smiled in a put upon way. As they walked to L's car Naomi suddenly remembered the gossip Mello had text her. "Oh! Remember that blonde bimbo, Misa?"

"Sadly, yes I do" L helped Naomi into the passenger seat. "What about her?"

"She was killed last Wednesday. Apparently she wasn't looking where she was going and jaywalked straight into the line of traffic"

L tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably as he sniggered. What a fitting end for that airhead! He thought. 

"I know" Naomi rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry for her, she was only young and stuff but… come on, reading isn't a hard thing to do"

L shrugged, "Clearly is for some people"

Naomi considered their own numerous dealings with death and horror over the last year and was delighted none of it had impacted on the shared dark (sadistic, at times) humor she and L shared. Their choice was to either laugh and fight or give way to tears and the second choice wasn't an option as far as either of them were concerned. 

"Such a bitch, L"

"And who did I learn *that* from, Massacre" L quipped back. They smiled at each other in perfect understanding; they'd got each other this far, and they would keep up the bitchy humor until their old wounds had healed. 

Soon enough their family would be back together and away from Japan and living in their idyllic hilltop villas they could start to live their lives again. 

The future was finally looking bright for all of them. 

**********************

The day Light was discharged was the day he felt his life could finally begin again. He phoned L with the good news and they cried down the phone together in sheer happiness. 

"Get your ass home, Light!" L sobbed, "Come back to me already!"

"The first thing I did once I was discharged was book a flight, Baby. I'm going to say goodbye to mum tonight and pack and I will be back with you tomorrow night, okay?"

That just made L burst into tears again, but Light could hardly blame him. The last six months of separation had been brutal. Light made a solemn vow that as soon as he had L back in his arms again he would never let him go. They would have a quiet wedding, just them and their friends stood on Lover's hill… 

After the storm of emotions calmed down a little bit to enable other conversation Light admitted to L that despite his mother's amazing cleaning Matt and Mello *still* hadn't sold their flat. 

"Fuck it, I'll buy it" L solved the problem at once. "Send me the details and I will purchase it within the hour then transfer it to your sister. It will be a sound investment for her, especially now she's due to start university"

"Baby… you are so kind! I don't even know what to say to that" Light whispered. His mother had been worrying about paying for Sayu's tuition fees now that she was a single parent but it seemed his boyfriend ('husband, soon' Light thought giddily) 

Light ended the phone call and did his best to look surprised when he received an excited text from Mello an hour later that the apartment had finally sold! Cash up front too! Light suspected Matt would have put two and two together but he knew he wouldn't mind; right now the priority was for everyone to be together and L had just helped that happen. 

Light made his way to his mother's house and tried not to cringe at her tears. 

"You can always come and visit, mum, whenever you want" Light stroked her back gently, wishing he could take the pain away from her. 

"I know it isn't safe for L to be in Japan anymore…but I am going to miss you so much" Sachiko admitted into her sons shoulder. "Promise me you will take care of yourself, Darling. Ring me when you can. Email me! Sayu finally got around to showing me how that all works"

Light huffed out a laugh and squeezed her gently, "I promise, mum, and remember you will see us in a few months for the wedding"

That seemed to perk up the Yagami matriarch and the topic of conversation soon turned to the upcoming wedding of L and Light. 

By the time Light had left home his mother was weeping with joy. He had told her what L had done for herself and Sayu. Unsurprisingly L had even offered to finance a divorce ('Just in case she wants to get rid of that asshole') 

Light took the long route to the hotel he was staying in and breathed in the cool night air. This was the last night he would ever spend in his home country. He looked around at the neon lights and the endless streams of traffic and saw the darkness beneath the shining urban scene before him. He saw guns and gang violence, he saw L being raped and kidnapped and he saw two sets of magical, crazy eyes staring at him in the twilight. 

"Goodbye, Japan. You aren't my home anymore" Light whispered. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. When he looked around him those mocking eyes had disappeared… 

Light smiled to himself and hurriedly returned to his hotel room. In just sixteen hours time he would be back home in L's arms again… 

*****************

L bounced nervously on the balls of his feet as he looked around the terminal. His stomach was churning and flipping everytime he saw a tall man with auburn hair. 

'Where are you, Light?' L thought anxiously as he checked his watch. Light's plane should have landed by now. He prayed there wasn't a problem because for each additional second without Light it felt like mounting torture. 

"Relax, L, he'll be here soon" Raye teased as L whipped his head back and forth restlessly. 

"You go six months without seeing Naomi and tell me if you would feel relaxed while you wait to see her again" L snapped back, his eyes fixed on the latest string of arrivals. Raye and Naomi rolled their eyes at L's sharp tongue. Both knew he didn't really mean it and it *had* been so long… 

"Light!" L's entire face lit up as he finally caught sight of his partner. Light's head snapped up at the sound of his name and his smile was blinding. 

"L! Baby!" Light waved frantically through the crowd and drank in the sight of his lover. L was looking so fucking good. His eyes were shining and that smile of sheer joy on his face made Light's heart skip a beat. He guessed it was true what they said: absence really did make the heart grow founder. 

Light ignored his bags and weaved through the crowd, arms outatrtvhed ready for L to step into. Naomi blamed her hormones for the tears running down her face as L and Light grabbed each other and clung to each other, their shoulders shaking in relief as they finally breathed each other in again. 

"Oh god, oh god, Light" L buried his nose in Light's neck and pressed frantic kisses to his skin. "I've missed you so much!"

Raye spotted Matt and Mello collect theirs and Lights bags and shot his friends a warm smile. Finally they were all together again. 

Light tipped up L's head and kissed him softly and reverently. He put months of longing and infinite love into the kiss and it shattered L's heart. 

"We are never spending another *day* apart" Light almost growled as he smashed their mouths together in a heated kiss that made L's toes curl. 

"Never" L promised when Light released him. They stared into each others eyes and an eternity seemed to pass between them. The noise from the crowds, the bleeping of machines and the flight announcements faded into nothing as they became the center of each others world once again. 

"Let's get you home, Light" L tenderly wrapped his arm around Light's waist and led him towards the nearest exit. Naomi and the others weren't offended that Light scarcely had time to greet them. His attention was fixed on L, and after all they had been through no one could blame him for that. 

The journey back to the Villa was filled with nothing but poignant silence as L and Light held hands. Even Mello was quiet as they all reflected on their friendship and the twists and turns their lives had taken. The silence was eventually broken by a text message from Anton to Mello, which Mello gladly shared: Anton's mother was doing well and Anton had start dating again. He conveyed his best wishes to his friends and asked if he was permitted to attend L and Light's upcoming wedding. 

Naomi glanced at Light in unease. Light's jealousy regarding Anton and L's past relationship had never gone away, but Light simply smiled and nodded his head. 

"Tell him of course he is permitted to attend. The time for bad feeling is over. L and I want him at our wedding, don't we, Babe?"

L squeezed Light's hand and shot him a warm smile. Despite the horror they had all been through, or perhaps because of it, they were stronger people than they had been two years ago when they had first met. They were family and they were together. 

And that was all that mattered. 

Light ignored his aching wounds on his stomach and relaxed back against his seat as he stared out at the sun-kissed hills and whitewashed villas of his new home. L was a comforting presence against his side and he leaned against him, wondering how he had once denied the great depth of feelings he had for L Lawliet.

He had once lied to himself and believed his fate was to settle down with a girl (with Kiyomi) become a father and live a socially acceptable 'normal' life in Japan. L had turned all that on its head. L had shown him how to be brave and to open his eyes to who he was and to embrace the life he really wanted to live. 

As the sun dipped and ignited the sea with orange light that made it look like liquid gold, Light realised his journey was finally complete. 

His home, his dreams, his sense of self and his life were all irrevocably linked to just one person:

His beloved L.


	39. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light finally returns home to L.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update since I literally have fuck all to do but sit and write at the moment. Enjoy!

They all sat down to a takeaway dinner as Light glanced around his airy new home. He could hardly believe L had bought them the villa they had stayed in during their holiday to Greece. The place they had fallen in love with was now their home. Since everyone was feeling wither jetlagged or exhausted in general, it was decided an early night was for the best. Raye went to run Naomi a bath while Matt and Mello decided to have a quick walk around the grounds before turning in. That left just L and Light alone together. Silence echoed through the room as they just sat and stared at each other. Now the excitement of seeing one another had passed it was time to acknowledge the pain that screamed out in the silence. 

L sat quietly and looked at Light, his heart aching as he tried to understand the slight tremor to his hands and how little he ate. His partner had changed but so had he. They would just have to work through those changes together. 

"Light, come and take a bath with me"

Light seemed genuinely surprised at the request. He hadn't really expected L to be so comfortable with being naked in front of him… 

"I told you, I am not afraid of you. You shouldn't be afraid of *me* either, Light. I'm not letting what J did define me or destroy us. I can't let him win like that"

Light swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried to take comfort in L's bravery. It did nothing to alleviate the feelings of guilt he had. If he had never sent L away none of it would have happened in the first place. L would not have been raped and tortured, Isabelle would still be alive and L wouldn't have had to sell off his childhood home. 

"Don't you dare feel guilty about it" L's dark eyes narrowed as he spotted the tell tale signs of guilt and sorrow etched on Light's face. 

"I promised I would never leave you again, L. Look what happened with Beyond. It repeated itself with J. How can I *not* feel guilty about it?" Light argued, a gruff edge to his voice as the dam holding back his emotions finally began to gave way under the pressure. 

"It was a mistake, Light! A fucking miscalculation that screwed us all over. You can't blame yourself for making a mistake! I can't blame you for it, and you know I'm a petty enough bastard to try it if I could! Babe, I've had nothing but therapy and pining for you for the last three months. I've *accepted* what happened and so must you. I need you by my side now, Light, not drowning in misplaced guilt. Enough is enough"

Light looked down and pushed his plate away. His appetite was gone and his stomach was churning. He wished he could believe L's words, soak up his strength, but he just felt so fucking broken by all that had happened. 

"I'm asking Lisa to see you too, Light. You need an outlet for all of this" L slowly approached him and tenderly knelt to take Light's hands in his own. "We need to be here for one another. We are going to be married soon, Light. Can you try and fight for me?"

The old spark of defiance lit up Light's eyes and L smiled at the sight of it. 

"I will never *stop* fighting for you, L"

'There he is. There's my fearless Light' L lifted a hand and kissed it. 

"Ditto, Light"

They made their way to their room and Light floundered on the threshold of the door. L silently took his head and pulled him through. Without a word L gestured for Light to lift his arms so he could pull of his T-shirt. He spent several minutes just staring at the small, star shaped scars on his husband-to-be's stomach and the long, pinky purple surgical scar. 

"You don't have to look, L, I know they're not pretty" Light muttered as he flinched at the silent appraisal. His breath hitched as L tenderly stroked down his stomach. 

"You're right. They aren't pretty. They are *beautiful*" L murmured, his eyes soft as he knelt and pressed a kiss to each scar. "They show me how strong you are to have survived in the first place. They show me who you are"

"L…" Light felt himself well up at L's devotion to him and swayed on his feet. Surely it should be him comforting L? He'd taken bullets, yes, but L had endured far worse in his opinion. 

"I love you, Light. I don't think I have ever loved you more than what I do now. There is a beautiful brokenness to you…To both of us now… We can be broken together and heal one another. And one day, when we heal we will be stronger for it. That's what Lisa said anyway, and I believe her" L pushed Light to sit down on the bed and clambered onto his lap. Without hesitation Light's arms encircled around him and held him tightly against him. 

"You are the strongest person I know, L. How are you always so fucking strong?" light whispered into his ear, his breath lifting a few strands of the dark hair he loved to run his hands through. 

"Because you love me" L tightened his hold on Light almost to the point of pain. "The only thing that could truly break me is if you ever stopped loving me, Light"

Light smiled at that. That would *never* happen. Hell would freeze over and the sky would fall down on their heads before that happened.

"Come take a bath" L stroked Light's beautiful hair soothingly, "It will be alright, Light"

Light shook his head, tears falling down his face. "I'm scared to touch you, L, I'm scared that I will hurt you"

L suspected that might have been the case. Lisa really was going to have her work cut out with helping the both of them. 

"We don't have to do… anything like that. Not until you are ready, Love. I swear, I don't expect that of you. And while I am… dealing with what has happened I just want to be close to you, that's all"

Light smiled in relief and kissed L gently, their tears intermingling and making the kiss taste of sorrow and gratitude. 

They took a bath together and luxuriated in lying back in the warm, bubbly water. The dam finally broke and they both clung to each other as they cried. By the time the water was cool they felt as if their tears were a form of catharsis. Both felt rejuvenated by just holding onto each other and letting it all out. 

They dried and dressed for bed without word spoken between them. They curled up together and spotted their bodies so tightly neither was certain where one ended and the other began. They closed their eyes and they slept, the silence not quite so threatening any more… 

***************

Light was the first to awaken in the morning, as usual. He spent several minutes just watching the play of the morning light on his lover's pale skin. The dark shadows beneath L's eyes were still prominent but they were beginning to fade. His sharp angles and razor-fine cheekbones were illuminate beautifully and Light wished he was an artist. Such beauty deserved to be immortalized. 

"Morning, creep"

Light barked out a laugh as he saw those sooty eyelashes tremble and flicker. L slowly blinked his eyes open and Light stared down into the unfocused orbs. Silvery specks of light illuminated the grey and Light leaned closer to inspect them. 

"Wow. You really are going for full on creep points, aren't you?" L teased softly. 

"Your eyes are so stunning" Light whispered softly, his breath warming L's skin. "I can see silver in them"

L shifted closer to reclaim the space sleep had stolen from them and pressed a gentle kiss to Light's nose. 

"I'm sorry I was so… well, fucked up last night" L smiled sadly at Light's apology and the flush of embarrassment that swept across his cheeks. 

"You have nothing to apologise for" L soothed. "We both needed it"

Light buried his head in the gap between L's neck and shoulder and breathed in his warm scent. Fuck had he missed this, just waking up in the morning to L in his arms. He felt his cock stir and he guiltily pulled away. L caught him and pulled him back. 

"Don't be frightened of it"

Light shivered as L snaked a hand down his belly and wrapped his hand around his stirring cock. He pumped gently and Light's breath caught. He couldn't stop the slight cant of his hips into L's hand as L masturbated him gently. 

"L… oh god, L…." Light squeezed his eyes shut as the pleasure began to build and wash over him. He reached for L's stirring cock and L pushed his hips against him in encouragement. Light delved his hands down L's sleep pants and wrapped his hand around his hardening cock. 

"Mmm" L shifted closer still and kissed Light with an open mouthed kiss of mounting passion. "I want you, I want you"

Light tugged L's pants down over his hips and tugged at him faster. L's responsive moans and sharp pants of mounting desire encouraged him further. 

"Can I? Is this okay?" Light flexed his hips against L's and they rocked together. L's fingernails dug into Light's arms and Light rolled on top of him, their erections pushing together as they shuddered. 

"This is *more* than okay" L rolled his hips against Lights. Precome slicked their movements and Light shoved his pants down so their cocks could slide against each other. Passion overrode fear and soon they were kissing heatedly, their bodies straining towards release. 

"Oh fuck, Light" L sobbed as Light took them both in hand and smeared the sticky precome over both of their shafts. Light worked them furiously, his teeth clenched as he felt an almost overwhelming need to come smash through him. It had been so fucking long and L felt so perfect as he squirmed beneath him. 

"God! I'm close" Light ground out, his hips stuttering as he felt his balls tighten in warning. 

"Come for me, Babe, oh fuck, don't stop!" L panted against his neck, his own release just out of reach. 

Light cried out as his orgasm ripped through him and L shivered and watched thick stripes of white spurt out onto his cock and stomach. L closed his eyes and surrendered to his own pleasure as he clutched Light tightly to him, his come sliding down Light's cock and adding to the lewd, slick sounds as Light worked them through their pleasure. They rocked together as their orgasm ebbed away, a charged silence in the air as they panted for breath and came back down from such an extraordinary high. 

Panting, Light looked down at L with a look of shocked wonder on his face.   
"I, uh, wasn't expecting *that* to happen" Light admitted with a sheepish smile. 

"Which is exactly why it was so perfect" L snuggled closer as he regained his breath. "Even if we are a complete mess"

Light chuckled and had to admit that was true. He hadn't come so fast or so hard since he was a teenager!   
Their groins and chests were practically glued together, not that they cared. They basked in the afterglow and exchanged soft kisses until grumbling stomachs and full bladders forced them to unstick themselves. 

"Ugh. Definitely a shower first" L decided as he looked down at his come splashed stomach with a grimace. "I will even let you wash my back"

"I'm honored" Light quipped, a little warmth back in those honey hued eyes. 

"As you should be" L returned with a cheeky smile. Light climbed out of bed and offered L his hand. L didn't hesitate to take it and scramble after his lover. 

They soaped themselves and shared a much longer than necessary shower. Kissing under the hot spray of water inevitably lead to them both feeling frisky again. L sank to his knees and swallowed Light's cock, working his head and sucking for all he was worth. Light cried out and scrambled to find something to hold onto as L brought him closer and closer to the edge. His toes curled and he was shouting in pleasure as L swallowed down everything he had to give. 

"Jesus… L!" Light slumped back against the glass, "Where did *that* come from?"

"I told you. I missed you" L stood up and knocked Light's hands away when he reached to return the favour. Light frowned when L shook his head and kissed him. A thrill shot through him as he tasted his own release on his tongue. "That was just for you. I'm starving and we really should go down and see the others. You can make it up to me later… if you want"

"I want" Light confirmed with a big smile. 

They finished off their shower, dressed then headed downstairs. The others were up and already digging into breakfast. 

"Morning" Mello called around a mouthful of croissants, "Don't you two look loved up"

"We are loved up" Light smiled back while thinking, 'and VERY satisfied, Jesus Christ I had no idea L could be so damn relentless!'

They enjoyed breakfast together and discussed what their plans were for the day. Light agreed to go with L to meet his therapist while Mello planned to drag Matt around the shops to get some nice bits in for their new home. Naomi and Raye had their six month scan to go to. 

"Crazy to think we will soon have a sproglet screaming the place down" Matt smirked at the thought, "Ear plugs all around then"

"The villa is *soundproofed* you idiot" Naomi snorted, "Besides, we aren't all staying in L and Light's place. The villas on either side belong to us. We just haven't moved in properly yet" Naomi left the 'because we were waiting for Light to come home and didn't want to leave L by himself' but they all knew that was what she was thinking. 

"Oooh, thank god for *that*" Matt uttered a relieved laugh, "no offense, Nome, but I really wasn't looking forward to hearing a baby screaming 24/7"

L shot Matt a look. "Dude. We've all heard you and Mello screaming. I'd take the baby any day of the week"

The friends burst into laughter and Light knew in that moment with 100% certainty that things were going to be okay. 

Mello, who was rather 'loud' in the bedroom, had the grace to blush and act all shy and coy for the reminder of breakfast. L wasn't buying it though and by the time he and Matt were headed for the door he was already back to his fabulously overbearing self;

"I want teal and purple, Matt. Jewel colors because I *am* a jewel! Our lounge has to be all bright and sparkly to the point it gives people a headache"

"You give *me* a headache" Matt grouched before they vanished out the door. L smiled and shook his head at his friends. For all of their bickering those two loved each other just as fiercely as he and Light did. 

Once their home was empty L decided to give Light a tour. He started with the beautifully ornate gardens and worked his way around the sprawling property. Light knew what the place looked like since they had stayed there before, but he saw it through new eyes as he realised this beautiful building was now their home. 

"How did you ever convince the owner to sell? Didn't he say he'd been letting this villa as a holiday home for years?" Light marvelled as L proudly showed him the renovation work he'd made on the library. 

"I have my ways" L smiled mysteriously. When Light looked at him to expand L sighed and rolled his eyes. His boyfriend was still so innocent sometimes. "Money, babe. I chucked a shit ton of money at him until I got my own way" L explained with a slightly bitter tone to his voice, "It's how the world works" he added under his breath. 

Light chuckled at L's cynicism and kissed him. "I think love is what makes the world work, Baby. Come on, you said we were meeting Lisa at twelve? We should get going" 

******************

The therapy session went well. L and Light arranged to have both joint and single sessions before thanking Lisa and walking back out into the sunshine. 

"What shall we do now?" Light asked they strolled down the quaint cobbled-stoned streets. 

"Whatever we want to do, Light" L gave him a slow smile, "I was thinking you might like to go to our deli and spend the day on Lovers hill…just like old times"

"Yes" Light sighed because he couldn't think of anything more perfect. In just two months time he and L would be stood on that hill exchanging their vows beneath the glorious grecian sun. 

Light drove to the hill and they spent a pleasant afternoon sat together under the ancient olive tree. They had planned a simple ceremony with a white rose arch entwined with blue ribbon. Their family would stand around them and watch them join their hearts and souls together before they all enjoyed the reception on a pleasure yacht L had hired. 

Once they had talked for a while and ironed out their wedding plans, they sat back on the grass and listened to the birdsong and the whisper of the breeze... 

Silence had never been so perfect.


	40. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L get married!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently in hospital after a bout of sepsis so writing this fic has basically given me something to do AND made me attract some funny looks. I was crying like a lil bitch as I wrote the wedding scene! it's been a long time coming (40 chapters!) But here it is! 
> 
> The. Wedding! And Smuuuuuut ❤

Naomi sighed loudly as she tried to squeeze her eight month pregnant belly into the dress she'd bought for the wedding. Despite his best efforts Raye couldn't do the zip up the back. 

"Jesus *fuck* I've gotten so fat!" Naomi wailed as she looked down at her bulging belly and swollen ankles. 

"Darling, you are carrying our son. You have beaten cancer. Your hair is growing back. You've never looked so beautiful" Raye wiped away her fears with a tender kiss to her shoulder, "Neither L nor Light will care what you wear today, and you have always suited blue. Wear that blue maxi dress of yours, Baby, you will be comfy *and* gorgeous"

Naomi smiled as she saw herself through her husband's eyes. She straightened her spine then marched off towards her wardrobe. Blue was always her colour anyway. 

Raye watched her get changed with a fierce sense of pride. With just a month to go until Raye junior was born he really hadn't been exaggerated. Naomi looked radiant, stretch marks, saggy boobs and all. 

Matt and Mello burst into the room, both excited and dressed up in their tuxedos. 

"Ew! Boobs!" Mello wailed, shielding his eyes dramatically as he promptly turned his head away. 

"Maybe try knocking next time?" Raye rolled his eyes at Mello's dramatics. His wife's boobs were awesome!

"Sorry. Forgot. Anyway, L just text to tell us the car's will be here in 30 minutes" Matt announced with a wry grin, "Thought you were wearing that yellow dress, Naomi?"

Naomi shot him a pointed look and he immediately changed the topic of conversation. Getting on Naomi Penbar's bad side was never a good thing… Raye gave him a look and Matt knew he'd put his foot in it. 

"Blue suits you better" Matt managed to redeem himself smoothly. 

"I think so too" Naomi clasped her belly and admired her bump. "Won't be long before you're, little man, but today you can stay where you are. We're going to watch Uncle L and Uncle Light get married!"

"Wonder how L is holding up? Bet he's a bag of nerves by now" Mello wondered aloud as they all made their last minute checks. Naomi smiled at the thought of her best friend feeling the exact same way she had felt on the morning of her wedding. 

"It's okay. He has Anton with him" Naomi soothed. The small group gathered up their belongings and decided a quick pre wedding drink was in order. 

They gathered in the kitchen and Raye and Matt poured the champagne. 

"To Light and L!" Raye proposed a toast.

"To Light and L" came the answering cheer before everyone but Naomi delved into the champagne. 

Meanwhile, 20 miles away in his hotel room, L Lawliet *was* a bag of nerves. He could hardly sit still as he waited for the car to arrive and Anton was starting to feel dizzy as he watched him walk back and forth. 

L paced as he clenched and unclenched his hands. The two months since Light had come home to him had flown by between therapy sessions, settling down in the Villa and wedding prep. He could hardly believe it was the morning of his wedding. He glanced to Anton, who was watching his pacing around with an indulgent smile, "What?"

"Just concerned about the wellbeing of the hotel's carpets, L. Calm down and stop pacing" Anton tutted as he held out a flute of champagne. 

"I'm so nervous" L admitted as he gratefully reached for the champagne. He knocked it back in one and made Anton snigger as he resumed his pacing. 

Dressed in simple black dress pants and a silk white shirt (L had point blank refused to wear a full suit) L looked healthy albeit a bag of nerves. Anton smiled at the sight of his old flame preparing for his wedding day. Time away in Russia had been the right call. Although he suspected he would always have some feelings for L he knew now he loved him enough to let him go. After all that had happened to him Anton wished for nothing more for L to find his well deserved happiness in marriage to Light. 

"Distract me, Ant. Tell me about your new bloke" L sighed as he flopped down onto the sofa opposite Anton. 

"His name is Yuri. I actually went to college with him and fancied the pants of him, but he moved away and we didn't keep in touch. We met at a bar and… well, old feelings die hard I guess. " Anton scratched the back of his neck in sudden awkwardness. "Being openly gay in Russia, in particular my home town, is not advisable, L. I find myself having to lie and live a double life, just like Light did. I suppose that's why I came to Japan in the first place, though I guess in hindsight Japan wasn't the best option either, huh?"

L stared at him in silence. He had never really thought about Anton's experience of being gay in a country who still classed homosexuality as illegal, but now that he had opened up, he could see the striking similarity between Anton and Light…They had both endured hardship and been stigmatized just for being who they were. L knew Anton could not stay too long in Russia. It was inevitable his secret relationship with Yuri would be discovered and then… L didn't even want to think about what might happen. 

"Would you consider moving here with Yuri? The Greeks are far less bigoted and tolerable of Homosexuality. But is that any wonder given their steamy history?" L cracked a smile and Anton's breath caught. He hadn't been expecting such an offer. 

"Would Light be okay with that?" Anton asked a bit awkwardly. "I'm not his favourite person in the whole world, L"

"I think you and Light are more alike than you realize, and I think with time you could become very close friends" L tapped his chin in thought. "I would like us all to stay together if possible. We're family… after a fashion" L reached for the champagne bottle and refilled their glasses. 

"I will… have a think about it" Anton smiled. L shrugged and knocked his glass against his in a toast. Two glasses of champagne in and L found his nerves finally abieting. The toot of a horn outside drew them both to the balcony. There waiting for them was their gleaming white car, decked out in sky blue ribbon. 

"Oh fuck" L whispered. That car was going to take him to Light, who was waiting for him in the small chapel on the hill. It was actually happening! 

"Ready to get married, L?" Anton clasped his shoulder. 

"Yes" L swallowed thickly. "Just… take the rest of that champagne with you, okay?"

*******************

Light breathed in the fresh scent of the sea air as he looked around the little chapel. The blessing would take place here before they said their vows under the olive tree.

"Nervous?" Sachiko whispered to her son as he waited patiently. 

"Not at all" Light smiled easily. "Eager to get it started, Mum. I can't wait to see him and become a Lawliet"

Sachiko smiled but there was a hint of pain in her eyes. Once Light was married her family name would die with him. It was a sad thought, but she drew strength in the knowledge that L's family name would flourish. L and Light would make a family of their own and she still had Sayu… 

"Mum… " Light frowned. He reached for her and folded her in his arms. "Please don't cry, i'm still your son. I will always be your son, no matter my surname" 

Sachiko wiped her eyes and offered a brave smile. "I know that, Darling. I'm sorry. I'm just so proud of the man you've become. Seeing you stand here waiting to marry the *man* you chose… I feel like you are finally who you're meant to be. You were right to ban your father from attending. Despite everything I know in his heart he will never accept who you are, Light" Sachiko gently touched Light's cheek and turned his face towards hers. "You must never deny who you are again, my son. Promise me that"

Light swallowed thickly and felt tears mist his eyes. "I promise, mum"

Sachiko wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his cheek. Outside they could hear the low rumble of engines. The cars were arriving. Sachiko pulled away from her son with a soft smile, her eyes filled with tears as she prepared herself to give her son away. 

"Are we almost ready to begin?" The registrar asked, her soft timbre ringing through the small, candlelit chapel. It was not a religious ceremony but the peace of the little chapel had called out to L and Light and the registrar was a kind, thoughtful woman. 

Raye rushed in to stand beside Light as the harpist began to play. The scent of lilies, melting wax and the tang of the sea drifted in through the open door and Light breathed it all in. 

Naomi, Matt, Mello and Anton quickly found their places. Light smiled at them and was delighted when the local shopkeepers arrived. There was the deli owner and Miss Milan who ran L's favourite bakery. Even the kind old couple who had helped him find L's ring had turned up to show their support. 

They hadn't been in Greece long but seeing the locals crowd into the small chapel really made Light feel welcome. He was touched at the warm smiles sent his way. He saw L waiting for him by the arched doorway and he forgot to breath for a moment. Illuminated by the sun and looking so beautiful in white silk, L looked more beautiful than he had ever seen him before. 

"Oh wow" Light whispered. It felt like time had slowed down to a complete stop as they stared at each other. L smiled and it was blinding in its radiance. 

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna cry!" Mello whimpered as he whipped his head back and forth between them. 

Matt rolled his eyes but offered his boyfriend a tissue, keeping his thought of 'You'd cry at the drop of a hat, babe' to himself. As much as they all loved their jokes and quick quips now wasn't the time for them. 

L walked down the aisle and stood by Light's side. He reached for Light's hand and clasped it in his own. 

"You look beautiful, Light" L whispered softly. Light had dressed in a full tuxedo and the flickering candlelight caught in his hair, turning it to a ruddy golden colour. 

"So do you" Light cleared his throat, embarrassed as it squeaked slightly in nervousness. L grinned at the slip and Light's stomach flipped at the sight of those little dimples. 

"I'm so glad we made it, L" Light reached up to touch one of those beloved dimples, "I never doubted we wouldn't. Not for a moment. But still…"

L understood and squeezed his hand in response, because he *had* doubted they would make it. A reverent hush settled over the little chapel as the doors were closed. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to extend a warm welcome to all of you who have come here today to witness the joining together of two souls. Light and L are about to embark on an adventure of a lifetime" the dumpy little registrar gave a bright smile as she looked at the pair standing before her. 

"Here in front of their witnesses they will exchange rings and sign their legal papers, but they will be exchanging their vows atop Lover's Hill with their family" Maria explained softly as Raye and Naomi slipped from their seats, each baring a ring.  
Light and L exchanged rings with a sense of relief. Their fingers had felt bare all morning without them on. 

Sachiko watched as her son became Light Lawliet and swallowed thickly. She reminded herself of Light's words and how far he had come and drew strength from it. But it was L who reassured her with a simple smile and his address of 'Mother' when he held out his hand for her to come and sign the legal documents. The official part was done and the townsfolk rejoice in their wedding, but as far as L and Light were concerned they would only truly be married once they had exchanged their vows and kissed beneath their olive tree. 

"You okay, mum?" Light asked quietly as the townsfolk threw flowers and gave them their blessings as they slowly walked out of the chapel and into the sunshine. 

"Yes, Light. Just overwhelmed"

"Me too" Light admitted with a grin. The flowers landed at their feet as they walked up the long winding path to the top of the hill. No one was in any particular rush, so they took their time and enjoyed the moment. L hung up and helped Naomi with the trek. 

"Only you could do this at eight and a half months pregnant you stubborn cow" L remarked as Naomi slumped against him for a quick breather. Naomi barked out a laugh and L was mesmerized by the sun reflecting off her rich black hair. Naomi looked vibrant and, for the first time in months, healthy. 

"True" Naomi huffed. "Good god, do we have much further to go?"

L laughed and shook his head. He pointed to where the hill took a sharp left. "Just around that bend. Think you can make it?"

"Obviously I can" Naomi straightened her spine and took a deep breath. "Trust you to want to get married on top of a hill, L. Dick"

"Dick? We talking about dick?" Mello asked loudly. Anton groaned and grabbed his friend by his collar. L snickered as he heard Anton's low voice reprimanding Mello for being so crass, especially in front of Light's mother who had gone bright red. 

When they reached the summit they found a white rose arch and seats lined out neatly for them. 

"Places, everyone. Light's about to sign his life away!" Matt announced, already clutching the champagne for the toast. L couldn't help but be a smartass and remark that technically Light had already done that. 

Everyone took their seats and L and Light stood before Maria underneath their rose arch. A soft summer breeze carried the scent of the roses and the sun blazed down upon them as if the heavens themselves were smiling upon this union. 

"L" Light took L's hands in his and held them tightly. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on those beguiling silvery eyes that had captivated him from the very beginning. "I want to thank you for showing me how to be brave. You taught me the importance of being true to oneself and gave me the courage to just be me. Without you I would be nothing but a lie. The things we have been through, Baby… no one should have had to endure them, but they've made us stronger. I pledge that I will spend every day of the rest of my life worshiping and honoring you. I pledge that I will never stop loving you, even when you are a sarcastic asshole-"

Loud laughter rang out at Light's words. 

"But most importantly I pledge that I will do all in my power to make all of your dreams come true. Your happiness is more important than anything in the world to me, and I am so fucking grateful you taught me how to follow my heart" Light finished his speech by bringing both of L's hands to his lips and kissing each one. 

L stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Lights words had brought tears to his eyes and when he tried to speak he felt his voice falter. He'd never thought he'd be so moved that he wouldn't be able to speak! Light seemed to understand and kissed his hands again, giving him the reprieve he needed so he could center himself. 

"It's okay, L. Just look at me. You can whisper if you want" Light gave another small squeeze as L floundered. 

"I love you" L sighed. He didn't speak very loudly, but he didn't have to. Each person present could read by the way he was fixated on Light that Light's love was more than returned.  
"I'm so proud of the man you've become. You say *I* taught you to be brave but that was in you all along. You turned your back on everything you thought you wanted for my sake. Sometimes I thought we wouldn't get here. I'm so glad we are here… I know I'm not very good at speeches but I pledge I will always love you. I will always try to make you happy and I will always be by your side. You turned my life around when you chose me, Light, and I can never thank you enough for that" L would later blame his sobs on hayfever, but standing before Light and baring his soul was what brought those sobs pouring out of him. 

"Do you both pledge to unite as one and live your lives together, remaining faithful to one another so long as you both shall live?" Maria asked with a kind smile. Discreetly she passed L a tissue. 

"We do" L and Light answered together. L blew his nose loudly and Light beamed at him. 

"Sorry" L mumbled sheepishly. "Hay fever"

"That's bull" Naomi 'Whispered' loudly to her husband. 

"And do you both pledge to honor, respect and support one another through your marriage and your journey together?"

"We do"

"It is with great happiness I can now pronounce you as husband and husband. You may kiss" Maria stepped back just in time as Light grabbed L by his shirt collar and smashed their lips together in a blisteringly intense kiss. L twined his fingers in Light's hair and kissed him deeply, their tears of joy running down and catching on the others face. Light pulled L closer and wrapped his arm around his waist to keep him there as he set about devouring him. Neither let up as Maria cleared her throat delicately. When Light released L's lips long enough to bite his neck and leave little love bites blossoming in pale skin Sachiko knew she would have to intervene. 

"Light!"

Light went ramrod still, eyes widening comically as he heard the warning tone in his mother's voice. 'God dammit, mum' 

"Jesus" Raye snickered at the epic makeout session, "She said 'you may kiss' not you may work your way to third base, guys!"

L tore away from Light as scandalized lautner ripped from him. Light had the grace to blush since he was getting rather into that kiss and had actually forgotten where they actually were for a moment. 

"Yeah, save that for the yacht" Mello sniffed. 

"Oh, we will" L promised with a sultry gleam in his eyes, "Won't we, husband?"

Light gulped and blushed as he tried to avoid his mother's eye. "Yes we will, husband" Light finally giggled in response. 

********************

"Shit, L! We never got around to deciding what our first dance was going to be" Light yelped as Matt made his way over to the sound system. 

L blinked. Oh yeah. He'd quite forgotten about that as well. They smiled at each other and shook their heads at their slip up. They had had a lot on their minds after all. L wasn't concerned, they'd just wing it. 

"Oh god, you two" Naomi sighed. She pulled out her phone and googled 'most popular first dance songs' 90% of them were shot down by L immediately. Light gave Naomi a sympathetic look as she struggled to keep her cool. 

"'Just say yes' by snow patrol!" L gasped as the song popped into his head. That was as close to 'their' song as they were going to get. He knew from the soft look in Light's eyes he'd made the right choice. 

"Phew! Panic over, I'll go tell Matt since he's taken over as resident DJ" Naomi tucked her phone back into her purse and dashed off as fast as a heavily pregnant woman could… which was to say, not very fast at all. 

"Waddle, baby!" L called out and hid behind Light when Naomi whirled around to glare at him. 

"You're such a bitch, Lawliet!"

"Don't talk to my husband that way" L poked his head around Light's shoulder. 

Naomi gave a long suffering sigh and flipped L the bird. Light pulled L close as their friends took their seats around the illuminated dance floor. 

"I can't dance" L muttered into Light's shoulder. 

"Neither can I. We can just not dance together. Anyway, all you have to do is stand close and sway slightly" Light reassured L as he wrapped his arms around him. A hush fell over the group as the first chords of the song sounded out. Combined with the sounds of the waves lapping at the yacht and the silver moonlight, a moment so magical was made that L and Light would remember it for the rest of their lives… 

I'm running of ways to make you see  
I want you to stay here beside me  
I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am  
So just tell me today and take my hand  
Please take my hand  
Please take my hand  
Please take my hand  
Please take my hand  
Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back (A kiss from Ligh  
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind  
Only love  
It's so simple and you know it is  
You know it is  
We can't be to and fro like this  
All our lives  
You're the only way to me  
The path is clear  
What do I have to say to you  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
For Gods sake, dear  
Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back  
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind  
Only love  
Just say yes, 'cause I'm aching and I know you are too  
For the touch of your warm skin  
As I breathe you in  
I can feel your heart beat through my shirt  
This was all I wanted, all I want  
It's all I want  
It's all I want  
It's all I want  
It's all I want  
Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back  
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind  
Only love  
Just say yes, 'cause I'm aching and I know you are too  
For the touch of your warm skin  
As I breathe you in 

"I love you, L" Light placed a soft kiss to L's ear. The song had ended but they were reluctant to part. Excitement thrummed through them as they anticipated their wedding night. 

They had not made love in two months in the fullest sense of the phrase. L had warned Light he had internal scarring and at first Light had been horrified and scared of hurting him anymore. They had both decided they would make love on their wedding night and after weeks of preparation and therapy they were ready. 

"I can't wait to feel you inside me" L murmured hotly into Light's neck, making his husband shudder with desire. "God I've missed feeling you"

"Can we just leave right now?" light gasped as he felt his cock stir at his husband's words. L met his eyes and they shared a grin. 

"We can do whatever we want, Light" L grabbed Light's hand and glanced around. Their friends were drinking and dancing in the moonlight. They wouldn't be missed for a while, but even if they were it didn't matter. Being alone and naked together was of the utmost importance for both of them. 

As soon as they found their cabin their mouths were feasting on one another as clothes were shed at a frantic pace. 

Light groaned huskily as he grabbed L's ass and pulled him flush against him. L moaned his approval and pushed Light back on the bed and crawled over him like a feline staking Its claim. 

"Oh fuck, L" Light whined helplessly as he watched L take his cock in head and jerk him sharply. He couldn't stop his hips bucking as L dipped his head and gently mouthed at his ball sack, tugging at the skin with a teasing gleam in his eyes. 

"Tell me what you want, Husband" L purred as he released Light's skin and licked teasingly at the crown of his cock. 

"Fuck! Your mouth! Babe, please" Light twitched in restrained pleasure as L gently lapped at him and gathered the precome from his weeping slit on his tongue. 

"You want to fuck my mouth? How kinky. Go ahead, Light" L giggled and dipped his head to take Light's cock into his mouth. Light gulped and fisted L's hair as he hesitantly began to thrust into that sucking wet heat. 

"Oh god, L, you're driving me insane" Light whimpered as he tugged on L's hair in increasing frustration. He *wanted* to just let himself go and slam inside him but how could he? After all he had been through… 

Light's eyes widened in shock. This was why L was letting him do this! It wasn't just an act showcasing L's submissive nature in the bedroom, no, it was a sign of absolute trust in him. L was watching him intently and willing Light to just take what he wanted from him. Light stroked the sides of L's face as he rallied himself and began to pump in and out of his mouth. L hummed his approval and bobbed his head in time to Light's increasingly frantic thrusts. He swallowed every so often and relished the tang of salt that revealed how close to satisfaction he was driving his husband. 

"So good, Baby, so fucking good" Light crooned as L brought him closer and closer to the brink. His cock was throbbing and his balls were pulsing with the need to shoot his load. It took all the restraint he had to pull away. The cold air drifting over his cock stunned him and he shuddered. He would come inside L. There would be time for everything else later. Right now they needed to consummate their marriage and become one. 

One heart. One flesh and one soul. 

"You are entirely too skilled with that mouth of yours" Light heaved in a breath before pulling L up his chest. "But I want to come inside you. I want to make you mine"

L melted at the words and dropped a lingering kiss to Lights lips. "I already am, my love" he whispered in the darkness. "I want you too. I need you so badly. Make love to me, Light"

Light smiled at the blinding display of trust and sincerity in those beautiful eyes and pulled L down for a sweet, slow kiss. "If you are scared or want to stop at *any* time, Baby, say the word"

L shook his head and kissed Light hard. "I need you. Don't let them take this away. Be brave for me. I need you, Light" 

Light stroked his hands down L's quivering flanks and guided him to lay beneath him. There was no way he was taking him from behind. He wanted to be able to see his husband's face and search for any sign of pain or discomfort. L shivered beneath him in desire, fingernails digging into Light's biceps as Light pushed a pillow under L's hips. Light dropped his gaze to that small pink pucker and felt a thrill of longing shot through him. That belonged to him now. That tight sheath was his and his alone. What a heady thought! 

"Lube" Light mumbled, forcing himself to pull his eyes away from L's body. He reached a hand out and scrambled around in the bedside table. He shot L a look of shaky relief when his fingers curled around the bottle. 

L tipped his head back with a soft sigh when he felt the first slick finger circle his entrance. Light gently pushed just the tip in and he paused, eyes darting up to L's face. 

"More" L moaned, hips already shifting restlessly. 

Light pushed the finger all the way in and his breath caught. He could *feel* the long, thin raised scar tissue that lined one of L's inner walls. What he must have experienced to gain such a scar. 

"Light"

Light snapped his attention to L. 

"Stay with me. It's just us now and they cannot hurt us again. It's just a scar, Baby, that's all" L soothed and lifted his hips in a silent demand for another finger. Light leaned forward for a kiss as he pressed a second finger inside. 

"I don't want to hurt you, L. Tell me the truth, does it hurt?" Light gingerly began to scissor him open. When L's breath caught in a whine he abruptly stilled and scanned his face for any signs of pain. 

"Doesn't hurt at all, Light. Feels good" L bit out as he tried to stop himself choking on tears. Feeling Light inside him again was all he had wanted and now it was happening again it moved him to tears. 

Light continued to stretch him open and a ghost of a smile filtered across his face when he found that spot inside his husband. L's legs tightened and he shouted out his name with each sweep against it. Light used far more lube than necessary and concentrated all of his efforts on grinding against that spot until L was sobbing and scratching at him in unbridled passion. 

"Light, please, inside me now!" L tore his mouth away from Lights so he could demand what he wanted. Light chuckled and dropped a shaky kiss to his neck. L's body was sucking his fingers inside and he was all but writhing under him with fearless desire. He had to get inside his husband again and he had to do it now. Light slicked himself up and slowly pushed just the tip inside. Like a vice, L's body clamped down on him and he grit his teeth against the urge to just slam his hips forward. 

"Fuck, yes!" Light gasped out as he finally slid forward into the gripping heat just inches at a time. The long thrust home made his toes curl in bliss and he fumbled for a moment, one hand lifting L's leg higher so he could penetrate more deeply. L's fingers spasmed as he clutched at him tightly, his mouth agape at the sensation of having Light inside him once again. They lay still as the struggled against their emotions and tears were freely leaking from their eyes as they stared at one another. 

Light, through sheer force of will, kept his hips still as he leaned down to kiss his husband. "You okay?"

"Never better" L sighed, reaching for Light's face and stroking a few tears away with his thumb. Light's hips jolted and L let out a strangled moan. "Ah! Li-Light, fuck!" L's nails dug deep.Light surged forward to kiss him as he began a slow, gentle pace of pitching forward then pulling back. He knew by the way L sucked on his tongue and moaned into his kisses L was feeling nothing but pleasure. 

"Mm! More, Light" L squeezed around him and Light's tentative hold on control shattered. He hefted L's legs over his shoulder and leaned over him, his cock hurried to the hilt as he established a deep rutting pace. 

The bed squeaked and they both shared another quick kiss, each marvelling at how right and easy it suddenly was. Light aimed for L's prostate with each thrust inside and soon L was teetering on the brink of ecstasy. 

"Close!" L managed to gasp out as Light's thrusts grew increasingly more frantic. "Come in me, Light. Fuck, please!" 

Light stilled and let out a soft moan before his back flexed and he began to rut into his husband with abandon. L screamed at the powerful thrusts and threw his head back as the most powerful orgasm of his life ripped through him. Light's little gasps of 'Yes!' grew ragged until he suddenly locked in place, his his cock pumping out his seed deep into his lover and claiming him. 

"L! Baby, yes! Oh fuck, oh *fuck!*" Light groaned out as he slammed himself inside a few more times to drag his orgasm out. L's nails scratched down his back as he reduced his husband to a whimpering mess beneath him. Light ground the tip of his dick against L's prostate that sent him into another burst of ecstasy. Light shuddered and clenched his teeth as he felt every single *pulse* and cry ring out from the straining body beneath him. 

There was nothing but laboured gasps for breath and the sounds of distant music and the waves crashing against the side of the boat. They drowsed together, still joined, as they floated in the afterglow. 

Light finally had the presence of mind to lift himself off his slight husband in case he inadvertently squashed him, but L's arms wrapped around him and locked him in place. 

"Stay in me" L slurred, blindly nuzzling into L's neck. "Am not done with you yet"

Light collapsed back onto L and kissed him fiercely as he felt his cock stir at L's words. L must have felt it too because he shot Light a smug smile. 

"I'm addicted to you" Light whispered as he eased himself out and slipped back inside. L shuddered at the feeling of being fucked again so soon after that last blinding set of orgasms and rolled his hips in response. He knew by the way Light's breath caught and how his muscles trembled that his virile husband was already good to go again. 

"Mmmm, fuck, Light, it feels so good" L sighed out. Each long, slow drag of Light's cock against his inner walls sent sparks shooting through him. He lay back and relaxed under the tender ministrations of his husband and Light smiled down at him in awe. 

"I'm going to fuck you all night" Light whispered into his ear before pushing his tongue inside. L yelped at the flare of heat those words sent through him and tightened around the thick cock spearing into him. "Mmm, you love it, you were made for my cock" Light husked and L felt his cock slowly begin to fill and pulse at his husband's filthy words. Light was whispering them so intimately into his ear and seemed to be drawing out this second bout of sex by moving deeply and slowly. It felt sensational. 

"More" L whimpered, shamelessly rocking into the cock piercing him. 

"You're so fucking sexy, L. The only thing I want to do is fuck you. Come in you then fuck you again" Light's smooth words continued to stoke the fire burning through them, "There's no cure for this addiction, Baby. Think you can handle taking my cock again and again and… " a particularly hard thrust, "again?"

"Yes! Fuck yes! Give it to me, Light. Fuck, I need it! I need your cock so bad!" L yelled out, not giving a single fuck if anyone happened to walk by and heard him begging for his husbands dick. 

Light smirked down at his beautiful, passionate husband, and decided he was going to make good on that promise. There was champagne and sweets and water on the bedside table. That would give them the strength to fuck the entirety of their wedding night away. Wordlessly he withdraw from L's body and lay back on the bed. L watched him with lust blown eyes as his hole twitched with longing. Light slicked up his cock and shot L a look of pure lust. 

It took L less than two seconds to scramble over to him and seat himself on his lovers, no *husband's* cock. 

"Take what you need, L, ride my cock. Oh god, you're so fucking good at this!" Light clamped his hands down on L's rocking hips. "It's never enough! As soon as we've come I just want to do it all over again"

The words made L falter in his movements for a second before he was crying out and coating his husband's stomach with jets of come. Light watched it all, wide-eyed with lust, until L slumped down and rested his head against his chest. 

"This is gonna be a long *hard* night, isn't it?" L slurred out as he felt Light's hips begin to buck up and fuck his relaxed hole. He relaxed and shuddered at the feeling of his husband's cock spearing into him and taking his pleasure. L felt a sizzle of pride. He was the one making Light fall apart like this. Light was screaming and fucking his body. No one else. There would be no one else for either of them. 

'Come for me, Light, I want to see it' L thought, clamping down at that thrusting dick and watching Light's reaction through lust-blown eyes. 

"Oh fuck, oh fuck yes, take it, L, I'm coming!" Light had responded so beautifully to L's silent wish and was crying out excitedly as his balls slapped into L's ass with each erratic thrust. 

L bit back a smile and nuzzled into Light's neck. He felt the bursts of warmth inside his body that heralded his husband's completion. 

"Water" L croaked out, endless minutes later. Dimly he realized the music had faded away and all he could hear now was the soft laps of the waves against the yacht. 

"Mmmmm" Light draped an arm across his eyes, completely out of it. L smiled at the sight of him and gingerly eased his husband's cock out of his body. He felt an ache shoot through him and tried not to grin; he was certainly going to be feeling the aftermath of his wedding night for quite some time! 

L grabbed two bottles of water and downed his own in four thirsty gulps. He brought Light's to him and tenderly helped his husband to little sips. 

"Throats sore" Light admitted with a small giggle, "probably all the screaming and yelling"

L snickered. He had no idea of this yacht was soundproofed or not. It probably wasn't now that he thought about it… 

"Hey, Shall we have some champagne and wedding cake then go up on the deck and fuck under the stars?" L shot Light a naughty smile. It was their wedding night so they might as well make the most of it, right? 

Light smiled at L and stroked his sweaty bangs behind his ears. "That is definitely happening, Babe" L *felt* Light's cock twitch against his thigh and grinned at his relentlessly horny husband. It seemed now they had got back into the swing of things there would be no holding Light back. Not that L minded in the slightest. 

They ate their cake and champagne toasted to the adventure they were about to begin with one another. After they had suitably refueled they emerged onto the deck and sighed at the sight of the low hanging moon casting its silvery glow across the still waters. The little fairy lights the yacht had been decked out with shimmered in the moonlight and everything was just perfect. 

Light spotted the sun lounger and pulled L over to it. "I want to lick out all of the come that's sloshing inside you and running down those lovely legs of yours" Light pressed their naked bodies together and L closed his eyes at the feeling of that demanding cock pushing against his stomach. 

"You're going to kill me" L mumbled as Light draped him over the sunlounger and began kissing down his back. "What a nice way to go, though; fucked to death on your wedding ni-Aaaaahhhh!!!"

Light smirked against L's hole before he began lapping at it again. It looked a little red and puffy from overuse, but that was okay. He would soon make L feel *much* better. 

As Light made L scream in the darkness, their family members roused from their sleep to reach out for the ear plugs they had all packed. 

"Jesus, Light's an *animal*" Mello giggled as he nuzzled into Matt's side. At once he felt Matt's irritation. 

"Are you saying he's better than *I* am?" Matt growled out, already reaching for his boyfriend. 

'Heh, so easy!' Mello thought as Matt pounced on him to prove his prowess. 

After Matt had firmly established he was just as much as an animal in the sack as Light Yagami, silence finally fell over the small yacht. Sachiko slept peacefully with her earplugs in and Raye and Naomi curled up together, hands clasped over Naomi's stomach as their son kicked in his mothers belly. 

L and Light had passed out sometime near dawn and had slowly made their way back down to their cabin where they had promptly passed out through over exertion. The sun was just starting to rise as they finally curled up together in a deep sleep. 

They dreamed of each other, their little vineyard and their happy ever after, which suddenly didn't seem so unattainable after all…


	41. Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L's behaviour has become increasingly unusual. He's keeping a secret from Light that could threaten their marriage unless he opens up and accepts help... Luckily, L and Light's marriage is strong enough to see them through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orginially this chapter was going in another direction but I thought I'd highlight separation anxiety because It's something I've personally experienced and it sucks for both the person experiencing it and the person it's focused on.

"No way. I want that a bit more to the left, Light, it looks out of place there"

Light bit back a sigh as he pushed the side table to *exactly* where it had been two minutes ago. L appraised it with a considering look and Light willed himself to be patient. In the few months since their marriage L had thrown himself into decorating the villa with Mello's help and in all honesty he'd become a little tyrant. L never seemed to want to leave the house and was becoming increasingly clingy. At first Light had thought it quite cute that L was so absorbed with their little love nest but that had quickly morphed into irritation. He couldn't even pop next door to have a drink with Raye or Matt without L demanding they get back to the house as soon as possible. 

Everyone picked up on the marked changes in L's mood and personality, but no one quits knew what to think about it. L was happy as long as he had Light by his side. Naomi wondered if it was simply because L was feeling insecure and now that they were married L was just being a bit clingy to start with. Everyone hoped it was a phase. 

Light glanced at L. He looked fine, physically. He looked *beautiful*, but Light could sense there was something bubbling beneath the surface of those still waters. L was being too clingy, too demanding and his preconception with the house and decor was bordering on obsessive. 

"Nah. I think it looked better before" L finally decided. Light's jaw twitched. 

"Are you certain of that, Baby?" Light asked sweetly, just a tint of 'are you fucking kidding me' in his tone. He could feel his anger simmering to the surface. Light was a patient man but he could only take so much. L's behavior was stifling. He hadn't been out in his own ever since the marriage. Leaving L alone was out of the question and on the rare occasion L did permit him to hang out with his friends he was constantly texting or calling. 

Light knew something was very wrong. L deflected his attempts to get him to open up and now they had found themselves at the lowest point in their relationship. Light felt stifled and he needed some goddamn *space!*

"Hmm…" L sat down on the sofa (his grey one which he paid a ridiculous amount of money to be shipped to Greece) and stared at the side table for far longer than was necessary. Light wiped the sweat of his forehead and wondered if eleven am was considered too early to crack open a beer. He'd started drinking more than he should recently, but it helped soothe the frazzled nerves that L seemed to keep permanently frazzled. 

"I just don't know. Actually, I do. It shouldn't even be there in the first place. It needs to go against the *other* wall"

Light straightened his back and glared at L. Without a word he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. He'd downed half of it before L wandered into the kitchen with a slight frown of irritation on his face. 

"Why on earth are you drinking so early, Light? Do you have some kind of problem or…"

"L, Honey, the thing is I've just spent the last hour pushing that heavy oak side table about while you have sat down and gave me orders. There is only so much patience I have and you've exhausted it. Hence why I am drinking this beer"

"Oh" L gave him a flat look, "So you *do* have a problem then?" L shifted on his feet as he tried to tamp down on the whispering thought that flashed across his mind: 'The problem is with *you* L, not him…'

Light just stared at him. He knew he was going to suffer through a fair bit of trouble in his marriage to L, but he honestly had no idea L could be *this* annoying. When Matt had dubbed him a tyrant the other day Light had just laughed it off. Now he knew better. It was like nothing was good enough. L wanted their home together to be *perfect* but the problem was perfection just didn't exist. 

"Am I annoying you?" L finally asked, a small edge of concern colouring his voice. He'd never seen Light look so fucking *done* before. He bit his lip as he tried to squash down his feelings of panic. Light wouldn't leave him. It was fine… 

"Yes! Yes you are!" Light threw his hands up, "I get that you want our home to look nice, Babe, I do, but come *on*! It looks great as it is! You don't want to do anything but fucking decoarate all the time! You're attached like a damn limpet to me and… and…" Light trailed off with uncertainty and took a deep breath. L had tears in his eyes and the sight of them felt like a punch to the gut. He did not want to say things that couldn't be taken back. L was too important to him. 

What they needed was just a bit of space to work things out and to sit down and *talk* about things. 

L quivered and blinked back the tears that sprang to his eyes. They'd only been married three months and they seemed to be arguing more than they ever had. Logically he knew the fault probably lay with him. Light was infinity kind and patient and for him to crack like this and show how frustrated he was… L's shoulders drooped. 

"I'm sorry I'm annoying you. I'm going to go check on Naomi and the sproglet"

Light opened his mouth to protest, because he didn't really want to leave things as they were, but L had already left the room. 

"God dammit" Light scrubbed at his face and looked at the blasted sideboard. "You were right mum, marriage certainly *isn't* a walk in the bloody park" he muttered to himself. 

Still, L was his entire world and their marriage meant everything. They'd get through the storms as they always had, even if it meant swallowing down his frustration a little bit. Maybe L finally realized how demanding he'd actually been? The look on his face and the dejected slump to his shoulders certainly gave that merit. Light decided he would write L a little note and smiled as the words flowed out of him. 

Annoying or not, L was his and they were adults. There was an underlying reason why L was being so tyrannical about decorating their home and Light was determined to get to the bottom of it. He added a request to meet L at a local riverside cafe they both liked in a few hours time before he heaved a sigh and moved the sideboard to the other side of the room… 

***************

Naomi was rocking her baby when L slipped in through the kitchen door. He padded over to Naomi and kissed her quietly in greeting when she held a finger to her lips. Raye Junior was *finally* asleep and L knew if he inadvertently woke the babe up there would be hell to pay. 

"Bring his moses basket closer, L" Naomi whispered, "Oh god, I hope he stays asleep he had us up most of last night and I really need a coffee" she seemed to be muttering the last bit to herself, her tired eyes watering as she smiled down at her peacefully sleeping baby. 

L obediently carried the moses basket over to stand next to the kitchen table and set about making Naomi a *strong* coffee. 

With all the care and cautious slow movements with which one would handle a bomb, Naomi slowly laid the child in the basket. She breathed a sigh of relief when he stirred but did not wake. 

"Jesus, Fuck, L. I swear I will never take sleep for granted again" Naomi muttered as L passed her coffee over. "Mmm, thanks"

L smiled at his friend and bit his lip. He had come over to ask her opinion on what was going on with him and Light but he decided it could wait for another day. The woman looked exhausted and the last thing she needed was him jabbering away to her about his marriage problems. 

"How's Raye settling in in his new job?" L asked instead as they went outside to sit on the garden bench. 

"Great! He really likes it. He said it's a doddle really, the town is so small and everyone knows each other. I think he misses the challenge of working in the Tokyo Met though" Naomi smirked at L, "No gang wars or drug busts in this town, huh?"

L shook his head and took a sip of coffee. What they wanted to do, career wise, was still a conversation he and Light needed to have. Light seemed very interested in the local vineyards and brewing his own wine whereas L still felt a need to solve cases and catch criminals. The only thing Light had said for certain was that he was *done* being an officer. Being shot six times and enduring his father's betrayal and L's torture had been too much for him and L could hardly blame him for that. If Light wanted a vineyard and to make his own wine L would buy him a vineyard and support him. It was the very least he deserved. 

"I… shit, Naomi, I need to get back to Light" L suddenly gulped down his coffee, "I've just realized what an absolute fucking twat I've been!"

Naomi 'mmm'd and gave L a thumbs up. "Knew you'd get there eventually, Lawliet! Light's been going absolutely spare for weeks. I told him you'd see what a twat you've been, though. Go and talk to him and tell him what's been playing on your mind"

L shot her a wide-eyed look. 

"Don't tell me something isn't bothering you, L, I *know* you. Whatever it is keeping it bottled up is only going to make things worse. Now go and talk to Light and smooth things over" Naomi gave him a little shove and he stood up. 

"I love you, you know" L smiled down at his best friend in adoration. Now that the tumor had been removed and Naomi was in remission it was like his best friend had been returned to him in all of her kind-hearted but sharp-tongued glory. 

"I love you too" Naomi tapped her chin, "I'd love you more if you popped into town and picked up more of those little lemon cakes for me though"

"Consider it done" L reached down and kissed Naomi's hand. The woman formerly known as Massacre melted, a twinkle of happiness in her soft black eyes. Greece had been good to them. Now if only L and Light could get through whatever was bugging them things would be perfect, Naomi thought as she watched her friend walk back to his house. 

When L got back he called Light's name and his stomach churned anxiously as nothing but silence answered him. Had he really annoyed his husband that much he'd just upped and left him? Being alone made his heart race and L took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Nothing bad was going to happen. No one was here to hurt him. His enemies were gone and he had Light. 

L scanned the lounge and sighed as he spotted the note left on the coffee table. Thank god. He read the words over and over, relief and trepidation warring inside him. Light loved him but wanted to talk. Meet at the cafe. 

"Okay. It's time I told him what's going on. Keeping secrets is only going to screw our marriage over and I'm not willing to let that happen. God I've been such a damn idiot" L muttered to himself in self chastisement. He grabbed his car keys and set off to meet Light at the cafe. His hands were shaking as he made the short five minute drive, but he felt proud of himself as well. 

He hadn't looked around for monsters lurking between the trees this time. 

************  
Light was sipping a coffee and gazing at the river as it slowly flowed by when L approached him. For the first time since he'd known him L actually felt a bit *shy* and he marvelled at how ridiculous that was. They were married for goodness sake. 

"Um… Light?" L mumbled hesitantly. 

Light snapped out of his thoughts and turned to his husband with a soft smile. 'He looks nervous. Why does he seem guilty?' Light took in L's fidgeting and lowered eyes and felt concern bite at him. 

"Come sit next to me, L. I've already ordered yours to be brought out when you arrive" Light pulled out a chair and L slumped down into it. 

"I'm so sorry I've been making you feel so frustrated" L began without preamble, "I…" L sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering what the right way to phrase; 'I've developed a phobia of being alone and I've been trying to keep you in the house with me as much as possible. Please don't hate me for being an emotional fuck up'

"Baby, whatever it is, you can tell me" Light reached for his hand. At the touch of his husband's thumb stroking his hand it all came tumbling out. L explained how scared he felt when he was all alone. He explained how he had wanted Light to stay in the house and decorate with him so he could see where he was at all times… 

Light's heart broke at how pitiful L looked as he explained his terror of being alone. Why had no one picked up on this sooner?

'Because we've all been so busy settling down and rebuilding our lives here' Light answered his own question. Anton was working in the local town as a carpenter, Matt continued his hacking empire from home and Mello had gone back to college to study a clothes designing course. Raye and Naomi had their little one taking up most of their time… no wonder it had been so easy to brush off the warning signs. 

"Oh, Darling, don't you realize you are never going to be alone again?" Light finally whispered, tears in his eyes. 

"Everyone needs space, Light. The reason we've been arguing is because we've been cooped up together 24 hours a day and I'm annoying you" L sniffed, "I'm so sorry. I tried to tell you when you asked what was wrong but… well, I thought how fucking stupid and weak I would look. I didn't want you to stop doing the things you wanted but I… I didn't know what to do. I guess I just got so fixated on the house as a cover for keeping you busy and close to me. I'm so sorry, Babe"

A waiter arrived with L's drink and pastries and Light tenderly reached over to pat dry L's face. 

"I knew in my heart there was something going on. Naomi said you'd eventually get over yourself and tell me, but I want you to promise me right now L, promise me if there is something troubling you that you will tell me. I'm your husband and that means I need to know about it so I can make it better, okay?"

"Okay" L muttered in a small, hesitant tone of voice. Light leaned back in his chair and almost without thinking he shot out hand out and clutched at Light's sleeve. He cringed as he realized how clingy he was being. Everyone had moved on and found careers here in Greece. He had been holding Light back because he was too frightened to be left alone. It was pathetic. 

"You are so precious" Light sighed reverently and entwined their fingers together as he shifted closer to L. Now that he finally knew and understood what the problem was he didn't feel so stifled. He *wanted* to be as close as possible to L to help him heal. "I know by that little frown on your face you're probably thinking something to the contrary"

L managed a small smile. "I was thinking how pathetic I am" he admitted. Light's face fell and he squeezed L's hand tightly. 

"*Never* say that again, L. You are not pathetic. You are hurting and in pain and you need to admit that to yourself. You've been trying so hard for too long to just be strong. Of course you are going to be frightened of being alone, how could you not be?" Light swallowed back his own guilt. They were both seeing Lisa twice weekly and it seemed the therapist still had much to do. Light refused to let their dreams die because of this trauma. They would have their happily ever after, even if it meant more blood, sweat and tears first. 

'But we will get there' Light thought with blazing determination, 'We will get there together'

"Lisa?" L asked with a wry smile. 

"Book us in for this afternoon" Light dropped a kiss to L's hand, "We're going to get through this together, My love. One day at a time, okay?"

L's smile was a little less strained as he squeezed Light's hand back and whispered "Okay"

******************

((Two weeks later)) 

L twitched and paced the kitchen as he tried to calm himself down. He kept repeating 'Light is only next door. He is only next door' as Naomi smiled at him in encouragement. In the two weeks since L had finally admitted his separation anxiety Lisa had gathered the family together to discuss ways of helping L through it. 

"It's a delayed symptom of the trauma he's endured. Since Light is the person he feels most secure around he has manifested his fear of being left alone on Light. You will all need to work with him to encourage him to acknowledge Light's need for space whilst he gets used to feeling secure again" Lisa had stated, her brown eyes flicking from one to the other. "I assure you I will do my best to work with L and Light and get them through this, but you will all be expected to play a part in their recovery too"

Obviously everyone had agreed and so they took it in turns to stay with L as he slowly got used to Light being absent for increasingly longer periods of time. 

"He's definitely in your house?" L turned to Naomi, pale faced and sweating. 

"He is, Honey" Naomi soothed. "Come and sit down, Raye is smiling now, would you like to see it?"

L paused in his pacing and walked over to them. He peered down at the baby and felt a smile tug at his lips. Raye *was* smiling, and his eyes had settled into the prettiest stormy blue colour. He was going to grow up to be a handsome lad, L could tell just by looking at the slant of his nose and by those exotic eyes of his. L knelt by the moses basket and dangled his car keys. The baby's eyes widened as he watched the sunlight glint of the metal with rapt fascination. 

"Is he really smiling at people he likes or is it just wind?" L mumbled as he let the baby's little fingers curl around one of his own. 

Naomi glanced at the clock with a small smile. It was getting easier to distract L from his anxiety now. He hadn't paced or asked for reassurance where Light was for nearly five minutes. It was a small victory, but it was a victory nonetheless. less

"Oh, it's just wind. Give it another few months and he will be smiling for real when he sees his Uncle L and Light" Naomi could have kicked herself when L's head whipped back to her at the mention of his husband's name. 

"How much longer does Light have to be gone for? It's been ages" 

"It's been forty minutes, L"

"It's been *ages*" L repeated with an unhappy little pout. "Oh god, why can't I just have a normal life? First Beyond, then J, now I have this stupid separation anxiety shit to deal with" L left Raye Junior to drift off to sleep and slumped down next to Naomi. The hands on the clock moved very slowly as he sat and watched them. His palms were slick with sweat. 

"You have a husband who adores you and would do anything for you and a fabulous group of friends who love you to bits" Naomi patted L's arm, "Try to focus on the positives and remember you could never have a normal life if you tried, you little weirdo"

L sniggered and bit his lip. 'Yes, I suppose when I think of it like that I am rather fortunate…' L took a deep breath and tore his eyes away from the clock. He would conquer this fear for himself but more importantly for Light. Their marriage and their happiness depended on it… 

((Another six weeks later)) 

 

Light, Anton, Raye and Matt had met up to have a drink in the local pub. Naomi, Mello and Yuri were with L and doing a damn good job of distracting him by hosting a Game Of Thrones marathon. Light had been out for three hours and it was *blissful*

He got to talk about sports, about cars and about all the other stuff he liked to talk about with his friends and he didn't even need to check his phone or panic about how L was coping. 

Lisa had specified Light was to text L every hour they were apart to reassure him but that was L. She had worked with them both tirelessly and the fruits of her labor were starting to show. 

"Nearly time to text L" Anton nodded his head at Light. In the last few months they had both been pleasantly surprised to discover just how similar they were. As L had predicted a firm friendship had established itself. Gone was the petty jealousy between them and in its place blossomed a sincere maturity. 

"Yup" Light smiled as he grabbed his phone and sent L a quick text. He'd actually been clock watching and looking forward to sending it. Now that L was on medication for his anxiety and things were finally setting on the right track Light found it ironic that *he* was the one anxious to get back to his husband. 

'Hey Baby, hope you're enjoying GoT. Having a nice time out with the guys. What time do you want me back? I love you *so* much xx'

Light grinned as he received his response:

'Babe, I don't *need* you home, but I *want* you home ASAP. You know that scene where Prince Oberyn fucks Olyvar? It's inspired me. I want to suck your cock NOW!'

Matt squawked as he read the text over Light's shoulder and grabbed the phone from him. Light huffed in pretend annoyance as Raye, Anton and Matt loudly declared Light was in for the BJ of a lifetime. Thankfully the bar's owner was half deaf and well in her late sixties. She simply smiled at what she thought was innocent horseplay between the group of young men as they took turns in ripping into Light. 

"Screw you guys, I'm going home" Light did his best Cartman impression and grabbed his coat. 

"Enjoy the blowjob!" Anton yelled after him. 

"Thanks, I will" Light shot back, a huge grin on his face. He walked back up the winding track to their group of hillside villas and fumbled his key in the lock. He was so excited he didn't even make it to the lounge. He dumped his keys on the small table in the hallway and started shucking his clothes. 

"L?! Baby, where are you? I'm ready for you to suck my cock!"

An amused set of sniggers drifted from the lounge. And Light's eyes widened in realization. 

'Shit!'

He slowly made his way down the hallway and into the lounge. He flicked the light on. 

L, Yuri, Naomi and Mello had turned around and peered at Light from over the sofa. L was bright red but everyone else looked like they were choking back laughter. Light blanched and went just as red as his husband. Why the fuck hadn't he *thought* about where they were watching tv before he'd said that?! 

"I think it's best we leave" Mello declared with all the dignity he could muster. Yuri and Naomi scrambled for their coats, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter as Light stood half dressed and blushing awkwardly. 

Once they were finally alone together L and Light could do nothing else but burst into peals of appalled laughter. 

"Come here, husband, and I will see what I can do about sucking your cock" L finally shot him a sultry smile once the laughter died down. Light rushed towards him and in mere minutes L had him flushed and panting for more, his pants around his ankles and his cock spearing into his husband's sucking mouth. 

'Marriage is so fucking awesome' Light managed to think as he tightened his grip on L's hair. Marriage might not be a walk in the park but his marriage with L was something infinitely better! It was a rollercoaster ride and wasn't that more exciting than a sendrarory stroll through a boring old park?! Light certainly thought so. Soon he found himself unable to think at all and he lost himself in the pleasure his husband was bestowing on him. L had taken him right in and Light quivered in ecstasy as he felt his cockhead bump against L's throat. Those sexy little moans and gurgles L made when he blew him had Light's balls tightening and he knew he was just seconds away from being hurtled into bliss. 

L pulled away just enough to tongue his slit and that did it. Light screamed out his husbands name and shot down his throat, his brain shorting out at such exquisite pleasure as L hummed around him and swallowed his come neatly. 

For long moments after he simply sat in stunned silence until he finally felt his brain begin to function relatively normally again. He took a moment to thank his lucky stars they'd made it through. L released him and clambered onto his lap and Light kissed him hard, thrilled at the taste of himself on his husband's tongue. The kisses grew from soft and wet to hard and demanding and in no time at all Light found himself hard and raring to go. He pushed L back on the sofa and smiled down at his flushed face. 

"I love you, L" Light whispered as he traced his husband's lips with a finger, "I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you that"

L wiggled his hips and shot Light a saucy smile. "A blowjob in return might be a good place to start?"

Light smirked and kissed him again before scooting back and kissing down down his husband's body to do just that…


	42. Breathless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light finally go on Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still 100% obbsessed with this fic. I was going to draw it to a close around the 50/55 chapter mark buuutt... I might just keep it open ended and see where it goes!

L and Light sat together in front of an old fashioned globe Anton had found in a thrift store. They were deciding where to go on their honeymoon. After intensive treatment and therapy for their respective problems they both felt now was the time to go away on their honeymoon and celebrate their marriage. The problem was they just didn't know where to go. Which was why Anton had the brain wave of letting fate decide. 

"What if the pointer lands on somewhere like, I don't know, Iraq?" L mumbled nervously. He didn't fancy honeymooning in a war zone, thank you very much! 

"Then I guess we give fate the middle finger and try again. Best of three, maybe?" Light shrugged, his easy going nature soothing L immediately. 

"Right" L nodded and reached for the globe. "Let's see where we are going then. Ready?"

"Yup, spin it, Baby"

L spun the globe and they both watched it twirl until its movement became slower and slower. It finally came to a stand still and they leaned over to check where the little pin had landed. 

It had landed on Japan. 

"No. No way" L shook his head, his heart rate doubling in seconds. "I can't go back there, Light-"

Light calmed him with a gentle kiss to his chin as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around his waist. "Try again. We agreed on best out of three"

L took a deep breath before spinning the globe again. 

When it finally stopped the pointer was placed firmly over Egypt. Light sighed and glanced at L. Personally, he had always wanted to go to Egypt but he knew his husband had been there before with Beyond and he really didn't want to reopen any old wounds or bad memories. 

"Maybe I should spin the last time?" Light suggested. He reached for the globe but L stopped him. 

"No. Egypt it is. The Red Sea Riviera is truly stunning, Light, and…I know you've always wanted to go. I shouldn't let Beyond come between us. Egypt was the first place abroad I had ever traveled so it's sort of fitting it should be the destination of our honeymoon. Maybe it *is* fate in some odd way…maybe…" 

Light blinked in surprise as his husband. He certainly wasn't expecting L to agree to Egypt. He appreciated L's sweetness in choosing Egypt for his sake but he couldn't risk him being hurt again by the ghosts of his past, however he could tell L was feeling anxious about it. Their honeymoon was to be all about celebrating their love and Light didn't want L to feel anxious at all. 

'Horny, Relaxed, Loved and thoroughly fucked out are the only things I want him to feel when we are on honeymoon' Light thought with a soft smile as he studied his husband's face. 

"Are you sure, Baby?" Light stroked the back of L's hand with his thumb, "There are countless other places and-"

"Yes, but you want to go there…" L pulled Light in for a kiss. It soon grew heated as Light wound his fingers into the hair at the nape of L's neck and deepened it. Their tongues clashed and they groaned passionately into each other's mouth as they felt the first tingles of their insatiable arousal for each other begin to awaken. 

"Mmm, I love you so much" Light mumbled against L's kiss-swollen lips. "But it isn't Egypt, Baby."

L sighed in understanding. "Light. I'm afraid Egypt is yet another country where Homosexuality isn't exactly welcomed with open arms…"

Light's lips twitched at the words, half in amusement and half with wry despair. What was it with people? Why was homosexuality frowned upon in so many different countries? Why was their love *wrong?!*

'It isn't wrong, so fuck everyone who thinks differently' Light thought stubbornly. He'd spent the better part of a decade denying who he really was and now that he had accepted himself and *married* the love of his life, there was no way he was going to go back into hiding now. 

"We will be fine in a resort, Light, but out in the streets and in public it would be advisable to maintain some distance. Egypt is a predominantly Muslim country and Homosexuality is seen as… Well, an 'abomination' I suppose" L scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. Light instantly deflated. He was *done* hiding and if going to Egypt meant not holding L's hand in the street then it wasn't the place for them. 

Light reached forward and span the globe again and explained gently: "Babe, I am so touched you would go to Egypt just for me but it *isn't* fate. It isn't right that i can't hold my husbands hand walking down the street. Best of three. If Egypt comes up again, fine, but I suspect we will be going elsewhere, somewhere where our love *won't* be criticized or deemed wrong"

L felt a flash of relief shoot through him and flushed guiltily. Perhaps Light had sensed he was trying to put a front on about Egypt? Light was the only person able to read him like an open book. 

The globe stopped. 

"Peru" L and Light breathed, sharing a look of excitement. 

"That's settled. Peru it is" Light smiled, already imagining the fresh mountain air and the majestic ruins of Machu Picchu. Even more majestic was the prospect of fucking L on the grass in a secluded mountain plateau, with nothing and no one around to disturb them. Just them, the wind and the vast horizon… 

"You're thinking naughty thoughts" L tapped Light's nose. "You always space out a bit, that's how I know" L explained when Light scrunched his face up in question. 

Light smiled sheepishly. How could he not think pervy things with such an adorable husband? They cuddled up on the sofa and sent a picture message of the globe and the pin the country had landed on to their friends. Once they'd sent the message they shared a meaningful look, lust crackling between them. 

Light pounced and kissed L senseless, his excitement at their upcoming honeymoon leading him to feel rather frisky indeed. L welcomed the advance with open arms and a strangled moan as Light zeroed in on his neck. 

"And soon we will be off on another adventure" Light mumbled into L's neck as he worried the skin between his teeth. L let out a soft hiss and tilted his head back for easier access. Light knew just how much L liked his neck being bitten and kissed and their arousal from earlier came flooding back. Light pushed L flat against the sofa and clambered on top of him, beginning to grind their stirring erections together as he worked L's neck. 

"Oh fuck, Baby…" L moaned, eyes sliding shut as his husband tenderly stoked the fire inside him. Light smiled down at L and closed his eyes as he leaned in for another intense kiss as he rolled their hips together. 

The fire erupted into a blaze and soon they were scrambling for each other, clothes being shed and thrown haphazardly around the room. 

"Is the… door…locked?" L tore himself away from Light long enough to pant out his concerns. He really didn't fancy Mello walking in on them *again* or even worse, Raye! 

"Urgh, who cares" Light was attacking L's chest and torso with feverish kisses. L arched up as he felt those scorching lips brush over a nipple. With each lap against his sensitive flesh L was tempted to agree with his husband and throw caution to the wind but… 

"Lock the door first" L shoved Light off with with great effort, "And then get your ass back here and fuck me, Light Lawliet"

Light groaned at those impassioned words and bolted towards the door. He slammed the deadlock across and rushed back to the addictive embrace of L's arms. 

Light smoothly picked up from where he had left off and soon he had his husband squirming beneath him in pleasure as he fingered him. 

"Oooh, Light, please, I'm ready now" L's breath hitched at the feeling of those lovely long fingers prodding inside him. Light placed a series of lingering kisses against L's shaking thighs as he continued to stretch him. He angled his fingers and grinned as L tensed and called out his name on a moan. 

"*Now* you're ready" Light mumbled, giving L's prostate another stroke. L's breath hitched again and precome dribbled out onto his stomach. Light watched L's body respond to him so beautifully and had to stroke his cock in response to ease some of the pressure. How he could ever think something so fucking hot was disgusting… Light shut that train of thought of with a grimace. He didn't want to think of that right now, not when his cock was throbbing with the need to be inside his husband's tight heat. 

"Mmm, Light" L arched his hips with a needy sigh. Seeing Light stroke himself sent the blaze spiralling out of control. Light's cock was near purple with need and slick with lube and precome. L wanted it with an insatiable, demanding hunger. They locked eyes and breathed out together when Light angled L's hips and pressed just the tip of his cock to L's rim. 

"Do it" L gasped, nails digging into Light's skin. He threw his head back with a throaty groan as he felt the resistance against his hole and then that delicious burning slide as Light sank inside him.

"Oh, fuck" Light gritted his teeth and wiled himself not to come. He could feel the heat and pulsating tightness of L's inner walls clamp down on him and suck him in. It was like sinking inside an inferno… 

"Move, please move" L panted into his neck as he wrapped his arms around Light's neck, clinging on for dear life. Light answered with a groan and rocked back. He gasped at the feeling of withdrawal before he plunged back inside with a passionate yell. 

"Ah! Ah! Yes, oh fuck, you feel so fucking amazing" L whimpered as the powerful thrusts into him became harder and faster. Light braced one hand against the edge of the sofa for leverage before he grimaced and somehow fucked into him even faster. L could only dig his nails in deeper and scream as his husband shattered him to pieces with that masterful cock and his piercing eyes. 

"So fucking beautiful" Light mumbled, eyes half lidded as he lost himself in passion. "You're so fucking amazing, L"

L's thighs were quivering and his balls throbbed with the need to come. L reached down between his legs and took himself in hand. He cast Light a coy look under lowered lashes and grinned when Light uttered out a curse and began to fuck him frantically. L wasn't the only one who enjoyed seeing his husband pleasure himself. 

L settled back as he masturbated, mouth falling open in a gape of unadultred pleasure as Light matched his thrusts to the movement of his hand. 

"I'm so close" L choked out. He squirmed as a dribble of precome spurted out and trailed down his straining dick. L used it to slick up his shaft and whined at the feeling. He was just seconds away from splintering apart and judging by the way Light was lunging into him, so was his husband. 

"I'm gonna come!" Light's hammering thrusts suddenly stilled and L cried out as he felt the first bursts of come shooting out of his husbands cock. L stroked himself once more and came with an ecstatic cry, his come spurting out onto his stomach as his ass clamped down on Light's throbbing cock. 

"Oh god, oh *god*" Light panted as his hips continued to thrust, dragging his and his husbands orgasams on and on and on… 

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" L felt the keen *pang* of internal pleasure and ground back against his husbands cock over and over. Light, despite being exhausted and oversensitive, kept up his thrusts to enhance his husband's pleasure. 

It was almost a relief when it finally ended. They collapsed together in a sweaty heap on the sofa and clung to each other as they breathed heavily. 

"Well fuck *me* that was HOT!"

L and Light jolted out of each others arms and turned to see Naomi waving at them from the kitchen doorway. 

"Just came over to borrow some sugar. Back door was open. Heh. Like L's just was…" Naomi put a fist to her mouth and giggled at her own joke. 

"Fuck *OFF* Naomi!" Light roared in exasperation. L just buried his head in his hands. Why hadn't they thought to check the back door?!

"Hehe, I'm going! See you later boys!" Naomi grabbed the cup of sugar she'd come for (before she had gotten distracted by that free, very hot show) and scarpered. 

"Sooner we're in Peru the better" L slurred as he and Light resumed their sated sprawl on the sofa. "No interruptions from our fucking family there…"

"Mmmhmm. Just me and you. Fucking under the stars…" Light's cock twitched against L's thigh and Light shot his husband a 'Want to go again?' look. 

L pushed Light away from him before they got too carried away. 

"Lock the backdoor this time, Babe"

Light huffed out a laugh and hurried off to lock the back door. Everyone else could just fuck right off. He and L had unfinished business, Light thought as his cock slowly began to rise to occasion once more. He returned to his husband and draped himself across his body. His eyes closed in bliss when he felt L's arms encircle him once again. 

"It's never enough" Light whispered into L's ear as he sank back inside his husband. L could only answer him with a soft moan because his eyes were filled with tears and it felt like there was a lump in his throat. 

They spent the rest of the night reveling in their addiction to each other and as Light had said, it was never enough… 

*******************

Four days later, they arrived in Peru. The airport looked a little rundown but the staff were friendly and helpful and most importantly *understanding* no one so much as batted an eye as Light proudly declared L was his husband and took his hand. Their taxi driver was very interested in their marriage and quizzed them all the way on the journey up to their mountain cabin. 

"And you meet in work? Fall in love?"  
Pep the taxi driver asked as he glanced at the obviously loved up couple in the backseat. 

L and Light shared a soft look. 

"Something like that" L squeezed Light's hand and gave him a small smile. It wasn't as if the taxi driver needed to know about the months of pining and denial they'd went through before they finally got together, was it? 

"It is a precious thing, love. Cherish it and cherish each other. Happy marriage? Listen to each other. Don't go to sleep with bad words and bad feelings between you." Pep advised with a twinkle in his deep brown eyes. "Wife and I? Love each other like when we first met. Still. After forty years!"

"Wow, that's amazing, Pep" Light shook his head in awe, "You and your wife are truly blessed"

"As are you, Amigo" Pep dipped his head. Ahead of them the winding road led through a stunning plateaux filled with wild flowers. The mountains rose majestically either side and if he squinted Light could just make out the secluded cabins perched on the base of the mountains. 

"Peru is so breathtaking" L mumbled as he leaned out of the window to snap some photos on his phone. He was going to take pictures of *everything* and fully intended on boring his friends to tears as soon as they got home with countless honeymoon snaps. 

"It is a beautiful country. Wild and free" Pep nodded his head in that funny little way of his. He drove up to the cabin with the green door and turned to L and Light with a smile. "Enjoy! Maybe give Pep a call if you need a ride, eh?"

L smiled and slipped the taxi driver a crisp £100.

"Is too much!" Pep's eyes widened in shock. He was a hardworking man with a wife and four children to support and while he usually made just enough to scrape by, he certainly hadn't been handed such a vast sum of money before. 

"It's what you deserve. Maybe treat that lovely wife of yours, and please do give us your number. We'd be happy to use your taxi to get around while we're here" Light smiled charmingly. It hadn't been lost on either of them that the man's shoes looked tattered and his clothes threadbare. Kindness exuded from the very pores of this man and so he deserved kindness paid back to him. 

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Pep's eyes were a little watery as he passed L his taxi business card. 

"Thank *you*" L patted the old man's hand, "For showing Light and I what our future will be like"

Pep did another little head bob. Before he straightened his spine and shot them a bright smile. He and his family would have a *feast* tonight!  
Pep drove away filled with happiness at the kindness of strangers and wished the foreign young men a happy honeymoon and a long and happy marriage together. 

"He's so nice" Light smiled fondly. It boded well for their honeymoon and he was filled with happiness as he led L up the path towards their cabin. They left their luggage by the door and stared around at the quaint, cosy cabin. Traditional Aztec style furnishings and tapestries were blended seamlessly with rustic wooden furniture and vibrant green plants. 

"This is beautiful" L sighed as he leaned back against Light. Light wrapped his arms around L's waist and rested his chin on his husband' head. 

"Mmm, it is. So peaceful. I think this is going to be lovely to return to after exploring all day" 

L scoffed, "I hope you don't mean snagging all day, Light. I want to go on a helicopter ride and go to Machu Picchu and try out all the desserts and-"

Light hushed him him with a sweet kiss to his neck. "We will do whatever you want, Love"

"Huh? What about you? What do you want to do?" L turned in his arms and gave Light a quizzical look. Light was always so willing to just go with what he wanted to do. Surely there was something Light wanted to do as well? 

"You. On every surface in this beautiful cabin. Then outside under the stars. And in the hot tub. Repeatedly" Light held up his arms as L spluttered in laughter, "That is literally it. The ruins and exploring sound great too, but they're more of a secondary thing. Doing you is literally all I want to do" Light waggled his eyebrows at L in a faux-seductive manner and L lost it. He burst into appalled laughter and darted off from Light. 

Light obviously gave chase and by the time he'd caught his husband and kissed him senseless their luggage was long left forgotten outside the wide *open* front door. 

As they made love luxuriously slowly they kissed and touched with a tenderness that brought tears to their eyes. In this little slice of heaven it was just L and Light and a wide open door to the wilderness and it was perfect… 

*******************

The days passed slowly as they immersed themselves in Peruvian culture. Light booked the helicopter ride over the mountains while L scouted out a local food festival for he and Light to attend. They gorged themselves on delicious local cuisine and had spent an entire day of their honeymoon doing nothing but sleeping afterwards. 

Now they were on a shuttle bus heading higher and higher up the mountains towards Machu Picchu. 

"The air is almost 14% thinner at the summit" Light read aloud from the tourist guide he'd picked up earlier, "Some people even bring oxygen tanks with them. Pansies." he added with an eye roll. Sounded a bit over dramatic to him, but he supposed that was just what some people were like. 

Pep had told them on the drive to the pick up point that many tourists *did* actually feel faint and nauseous so high up in the mountains, so L took it a bit more seriously than Light did. He didn't want Light to faint so he'd actually purchased a few small oxygen cylinders and masks himself from the tourist center. 

"Oh…" Light trailed off when L wordlessley handed Light his cylinder and mask, "Um… sorry, Babe"

"Tch." L poked Light in the ribs but snuggled against him. The morning mist was starting to clear and the promise of a bright blue sky could be glimpsed between the heavy clouds. 

Light wisely kept his mouth shut for the reminder of the journey. He managed to score a few brownie points by feeding L bites of the rich dark chocolate he'd bought him earlier. By the time they got off the bus all was forgiven. They half-listened to the tour guide's introduction while glancing around. They were eager to explore and they already *knew* most of what the guide was saying anyway.

They soon found their concentration drifting. 

"L, do you think I should get a haircut?"

L squinted up at Light's head. It looked exactly the same as it always did? 

"Um. I don't know?" L erred on the side of caution, just in case Light had had something done to it and he hadn't noticed. 

Light huffed. "It's getting a bit long now"

L tilted his head in confusion. Why on earth was Light asking him this? Had he conveniently forgotten the last time L had his hair cut was like… never? 

"Baby, I'm the wrong person to discuss hair with" L reached up and tugged his own spiked mop, "Maybe ask Mello when you get back?"

Light's eyes followed L's hand to his hair. "Don't *you* dare even think about cutting your hair. It has so many uses…" Light got a little spacey and L just knew he was probably thinking about grabbing his hair when he sucked Light's cock. 

"No, Light" L giggled when Light inched closer to him with that *gleam* in his eyes. "Later"

"Oh, fine" Light sighed. He had rather hoped L might be up for a little fun behind a crumbling stone monument… 

L couldn't help but melt a little at that pout. He yanked Light down by his collar and kissed him hard. He pulled back almost as swiftly and gave Light naughty little smile. 

They were finally permitted onto the archeological site. Light grabbed L's hand and rushed towards the ruins. It seemed the awe-inspiring history of the place calmed their libidos a little as they spent hours just walking quietly through the ruins. 

"They called this place the city in the clouds" L muttered as he ran a hand down a carved stone wall. When he received no response he turned to look at his husband. His eyes widened in concern as he saw Light sat down on a step and panting for breath. 

"Babe! Oxygen!" L sighed as he rummaged through his bag. He clipped the oxygen mask on Light and  
encouraged him to breathe deeply. Gradually the altitude sickness passed and Light grimaced with embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry I was just feeling a bit breathless" Light finally whispered. The others were heading back towards the bus at this point as the wind was picking up and storm clouds gathered. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling unwell earlier? We've been up here *hours* Light!" L grumbled as he helped his husband to his feet. 

"I'm sorry" Light repeated softly. L gave Light a searching look then grabbed his hand. He frog marched Light over to the most secluded spot he could find and shoved him against the wall. 

"L? What are you-"

Light swiftly shut his mouth as his husband sank to his knees and deftly undone his flies. Was L really going to blow him here?! Yes he'd fantasised about it but-

All thought processes switched off as Light felt a burst of chilly mountain air on his cock before L dipped his head and there was nothing but *heat* and relentless suction that made his hips snap and his blood rush south. He couldn't even care about the other tourists as he clutched at L's head and plunged in and out of his mouth. 

"Oh God! Fuck!" Light yelped, curling his fingers into the stone as L mercilessly began to bob his head and deep throat him. "Oh, Baby, fuck, more, oh shit!" Light tried to keep his voice down but couldn't help the excited pants and moans that fell from his mouth. L was practically devouring him whole! How could he last under such intense pleasure? 

"I'm gonna come" Light managed to whimper as he felt his balls tighten and throb with impending release. L 'Hmm'd' around his mouthful and sucked strongly on Light's cockhead. Light's arm flew upwards and he bit down hard into the flesh of his knuckles as his orgasm smashed through him. He tasted blood as he screamed into his hand, his hips bucking helplessly as he shot his come down his husbands throat. Things seemed to fizzle out into nothing as he tossed his head and focused on nothing but the feeling of relief and ecstacy as he pumped his come down out. L swallowed each load and used his tongue to coax out the last few jets as Light moaned brokenly above him. 

Light slumped against the wall in a daze as L gently lapped him clean. When Light finally returned to planet Earth L was tucking him back in and rising to his feet. 

"Oh fuck" Light whispered. He reached for his husband and pulled him in for a kiss. 

"Can passengers 23 and 25 make their way back towards the bus please!"

L pulled back smirked at Light's dazed expression. "That's us, Babe. Time to go"

Light stumbled away from the wall and followed L, his cock pulsing with satisfaction as it softened once again. He wasn't even aware the bus was moving until L reached over him to fasten his seat belt. 

"L… why did you just do that?" Light finally asked once rational thought was possible again. It had started to rain and it was lashing against the bus windows heavily. 

"I wanted to be the one to make you breathless" L whispered as he leaned over his husband and softly kissed his neck. 

Light bit back a groan as he shuddered. 'Dammit, L, you are so fucking sexy!' Light thought. He grabbed his bag and fished out a piece of paper. Light scrawled the words:

'Light Lawliet owes one extremely sexy L Lawliet a very thorough blow and rim Job until *he* is breathless'

"I can cash this in later?" L asked with a sultry smile as he twirled the slip of paper between long, elegant fingers. 

"Definitely later" Light murmured, eyes dropping to L's slightly puffy lips in longing. He leaned forward for another kiss and smiled as L's fingers carded through his hair. They relaxed back in their seats and went through their pictures until distant rumbles of thunder sounded. L's eyes were drooping and Light tenderly guided L's head onto his shoulder and watched his husband fall asleep. As L slept Light ran his fingers through that beautiful unruly mop of black hair and smiled at him in adoration. 

There was no doubt in Light's mind that L Lawliet could leave him even more breathless than any mountain range ever could.

"Sweet dreams, Sweetheart. When we get home it will be my turn to make *you* breathless" Light promised. He kissed L's forehead before sitting back and closing his eyes. The clashes of thunder and the hissing of the rain lulled him to sleep in moments. Light drifted off with a small smile on his face as he dreamed about his beautiful husband and their wonderful honeymoon in Peru…


	43. Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's approaching L's birthday, and L decides it's time to let bygones by bygones. Light's family visit, Naomi shocks everyone with a proposition and L recieves the best birthday gift in the form of a little puppy called Truce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just basically 100% sugar. I love it.

It had been ten weeks since their return from their honeymoon, and L and Light were more loved up than ever. L had established his own Private Investigation company and busied himself with choosing cases that challenged him. In just a few weeks his speediness at solving cases and his flair for thinking outside of the box had attracted a lot of attention. Soon case requests for flooding in, most of which L denied for the simple reason of them being 'Boring or too easy'

Light, meanwhile, had the deeds to his own Vineyard. He had big dreams of making the best wine in Greece and exporting it all around the world. Admittedly he knew nothing about growing grapes or making wine, but he studied hard and with a little help from the local, was steadily making progress. 

Light sighed and placed a bookmark in his book. Autumn was fast approaching and a fresh breeze chilled him. He smiled at the sight of his husband, who was pacing back and forth whilst taking notes. They had finally settled in Greece, and Light couldn't help but wonder if soon they would look into adopting. He wanted to start a family with L and enjoy the children while they were still young. He knew L wanted that too, however L had specified he'd rather wait a few years first. L was nearly 26 and Light had recently turned 25 so they were still young enough to wait a few years… 

'I just hope it won't be too long' Light admitted to himself. L ended his phone call and came over to join Light at the table. 

"Hey, Babe, learnt anything useful?" L asked as he promptly helped himself to a pile of biscuits. Light smiled and pushed the plate towards him. 

"Yeah, learning how to not fuck up" Light grinned, "It's harder than I thought, Baby, lots of Vineyards have gone bust in the area over the last ten years…"

"But yours won't, because you are a genius and are smart enough to handle any problems that come your way" L reassured. "And if not, well, fuck it. We'll buy another plot of land and try again"

Light had to laugh. L just wasn't phased by anything, was he? He'd boldy set up his own PI business and had taken the PI world by storm and now he would help him accomplish his own dreams. L truly was fearless in that way. When he wanted something he would work hard and just go for it. Light smiled in admiration and thought he would try to emulate his husband. 

Light decided to leave the studying for a while and to sit back and enjoy the waning sunshine with his husband. He thought about Japan and the hectic traffic and crowds of people. It felt a million miles away from the valley filled with birdsong and orange/yellow trees. 

"L, can I talk to you about something?" Light finally asked. He had been watching his husband's dark hair dance about in the breeze for a good minute before the question clawed its way up his throat. 

"Sure"

"When we have kids… have you any preference if they are a boy or a girl?" Light started his questioning. If he was honest he was tentatively poking his toe in the water of adoption or surrogacy. L was hard to read sometimes and his thoughts on it had been of the 'I don't know, ask me later' variety. But then, Light knew they had both had a lot of emotional baggage and pain to sort through first. Now things had settled down a little perhaps it was the time to ask. 

"I don't really care… oh, okay, I admit I would like a little girl" L smiled bashfully, "A little princess to spoil. Heh. What about you?"

"A boy" Light grinned, encouraged at L's openness. "I could teach him how to fish like my dad taught me…" he let the words hang. He sighed and rubbed his eyes at the memories. There was a time where his dad was the center of his world… 

"Hmm. A boy and a girl then" L reached for Light's hand. "Babe, I know you are pissed off with your father. Hell, I am too. I hate the guy most of the time, but he *still* is your father and I know you miss him. We're trying to put the past behind us and I think this ongoing feud with him isn't helping you. The next time you phone home talk to your mum about it, okay?"

Light had to smile at his husband. L, the keeper of grudges and bad blood, was advising him to let his feud with his father go. It seemed Greece suited L far better than Japan ever did. It gave L a sense of calm and acceptance he had never had before. 

"Sometimes calling a truce is necessary, Light. Look at Quillish and I. If we hadn't, he would have died and things would have been left open between us. I don't want that for you or your father. Why don't you invite them both to come and visit us?"

Light blinked, genuinely astonished at his husband's words. 

"I'm serious, Light. This needs to be resolved and the sooner the better. One day we are going to have children and I would like them to have Grandparents. I would like *you* to sit down with your father and just get it all out in the open. I would like…" L trailed off, his eyes distant as he admired the swirling leaves as they fell. "I would like every loose end tied up, if possible. For you and for me. I want to move on with you by my side. I want you to be happy. You will never be happy if you do not resolve this issue you have with your father"

"L… you're amazing, do you know that?" Light whispered, in utter awe at the display of maturity and reflection his husband was showing. 

"Yes, I do know that" L smiled cheekily. 

"I could literally just kiss you senseless. Like, kiss you everywhere… All over your body" Light's eyes gleamed as he shot his husband a sultry look. "I want to make you *scream* with pleasure, L"

L's breath hitched. Suddenly it felt rather warm despite the chilly Autumn breeze. 

"I think that sounds like an excellent idea, Light" L jumped up and grabbed Light's hand. They raced inside and locked *both* doors. They ignored their phone ringing and ran upstairs. Light made good on his promise, and by the time the sun had finally dipped below the horizon and they lay spent and exhausted, L's throat was hoarse from screaming. 

"Light" L rasped as he laid his head on Light's sweat-slick chest, "Don't forget to call your parents"

"Mmhmm, will do it in the morning, Baby" Light yawned. His entire body ached so deliciously with satisfaction. It was only half six in the evening, but he was quite content to turn in early for the night. L was a warm weight in his arms and on his chest, and he didn't want to move. He didn't want to break the spell. 

Eventually the buzzing of L's phone distracted them enough from their indolent sprawl. L sighed and reached for it. Mello. 

"Hello, bitch" L greeted. He winced at how raspy his voice really was. Light mouthed 'Water?' at him and L hastily nodded his head. 

"Oho! Sounds like you have a sore throat, what have you been up to, Naughty boy?" Mello, an expert in such things, tittered slyly. 

"Fuck off. What do you want?" L flopped down onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He smiled to himself as he heard his husband humming a song under his breath as he walked down the stairs. Light was so adorable. 

"You know it's your birthday coming up?"

L rolled his eyes and smiled at his friend. "Why yes, Mels, I did know that" L teased. 

"Just had a thought. How do you feel about a puppy?"

L blinked and sat up. A puppy? 

"Thing is, a friend of a friend's bitch has just had a litter of Labs and they are *adorable* I've managed to nag Matt into adopting one and I was hoping maybe you and Light would like one too? I'm working on Raye and Nomie, might need a hand with that…"

L couldn't stop the grin from spreading on his face. Light walked back into the room and smiled at his husband. 'What's the news?' He mouthed as he handed L his water. 

"Mels, I'm putting you on loudspeaker" L declared before he hit the button and took a long sip of water. 

"Light! Golden Lab puppy. L's birthday. What say you?"

Light glanced at L. L was beaming at him. Obviously he knew what to say, there was no way he would say or do anything that would make that sweet smile go away or dim in the slightest. 

"Absolutely. We'd love that" Light replied, "Are you sure, Mello? They're quite expensive you know"

Mello snorted. "Mates rates, my friend. Besides, it's the least we can do. I just think it would be cute if we could all adopt one of the puppies. There's only four puppies and Martina and Alan are keeping one with the mother. So, if we have one, you have one and we can badger Ray and Naomi into having one the family will mostly be kept together. Oh my god, we can have puppy play dates! Can you imagine?" Mello let out a loud squeal at the thought. 

By the end of the phone call it was decided that yes, L would be having a puppy for his birthday. He and Light cooed over the picture Mello sent them. They immediately fell for the smallest puppy. The runt of the litter was lighter than the others, with big eyes and a slightly hangdog expression on his face. 

"He's ours" L decided. He quickly shot Mello a text declaring they wanted the smallest pup with the sad eyes. Mello replied with a simple: 'Knew you would! Leave it with me x'

L finished off the rest of his water and snuggled back into Light's side. Now they were wide awake with excitement. 

"It's like practice ready for when we have kids" Light giggled. "Have you ever had a pet before, L?"

"No. Well, I've had horses" L mumbled into Light's shoulder, "Not quite the same. But yes, I suppose your right, it is good practice! Hmm… We need to think of a name for the little guy"

They bounced names back and forth until they found one that made them pause and look at each other. 

"Truce" Light mumbled. It was an unusual name but somehow it *fit*

"Truce it is" L closed his eyes and sighed contently. "You're helping me nag Naomi and Raye tomorrow, by the way"

"Yes Dear" Light said with a soft smile. He ran his fingers through his husband's thick, soft hair and L shifted closer. 

"That's nice" L slurred, sleep already creeping up on him. Everything was warm and fuzzy and the slow sweep of his husband's fingers through his hair felt magical. 

"Love you, Baby" Light whispered. He stared down at L's face and admired how the moonlight seemed to bless it. L's eyelashes were darker than ever and the pale moonlight on his skin looked phenomenal. It gave him a slightly eerie, otherworldly look. 

His answer was a soft snore. 

Light sighed and closed his eyes but never stopped carding his fingers through his husband's hair. He thought about Truce and what he would say to his parents until his eyelids grew heavy and he gave way to sleep. 

********************

Three weeks later, the Autumn rains hit hard. It was October 30th and L, Raye, Naomi, Matt and Mello were having a pumpkin carving competition. The rain didn't stop their fun, and they laughed at each others efforts as they tried to outdo one another. Light sat quietly with his parents as he watched the fun. He felt his father's eyes on him and looked at him. Souichiro Yagami looked a decade older than he had when Light had last seen him. His parents had arrived the day before and by the time they had settled in there hadn't been much of an opportunity to talk. Jetlag had hit hard and Light had left his parents to sleep it off. 

Light caught L glancing over at him and smiled in understanding. Perhaps he would invite them down to their favourite cafe to talk? It wasn't like they could have a deep discussion with Mello prancing around with a pumpkin on his head anyway. 

"Mum, Dad. Would you like me to take you to a cafe L and I like? I thought we could talk" Light began carefully. His father's shoulders slumped slightly and his mother looked relieved. 

"That sounds wonderful, Darling, plus we really do need to find something for L's birthday" Sachiko smiled, "I was thinking of some puppy bits, toys and candy?"

"Sounds great, Mum" Light agreed, "L isn't the easiest person to buy for. I usually get him books and imported candy"

"Are you happy here?" Souichiro asked suddenly. L shrieked as Matt threw a bunch of Pumpkin inwards at him and Light automatically turned to him, his face lighting up at his husband's joy. Sachiko and Souichiro shared a soft look. It was obvious how happy their son was here. 

"Come here, Lawli! I'll show you who's a, 'slow fucking pothead'!" Matt yelled as he chased L down the hill. Light snickered as L did a quick U-Turn into Raye and Naomi's house and shut the door behind him. Seeing this playful, innocent side to his husband was blissful. 

"Happiest I've ever been in my life" Light answered with a soft, whimsical tone to his voice. "I love him, Dad, more than anything. He…" Light noticed everyone was rushing inside. The rain was starting to hammer down. "He is my joy. Anyway, let's get to the car, I want you both to try the pastries Marco makes. Honestly, they are the best i've ever tried"

Sachiko smiled brightly at her son and took his arm in hers. During the brief car journey down the hill to the local town, Souichiro was silent as he stared out the window at the valley opening up beneath them. Even with such bad weather the little town of 'Mykonis' was beautiful. 

"And L is looking so much better! Oh, Sweetheart, I can't believe how happy you both are here. It brings me such peace. You really must show me your vineyard when the weather improves-"

Souichiro looked at his wife and son, and hoped his rash actions hadn't ruined his own relationship with Light. There was so much that needed to be said, to be apologized for. Souichiro suspected that is why Light had invited them here. Or he hoped, anyway. 

They arrived at the cafe and Light put in his usual order, with an added box of pastries to bring back for the others. If he didn't bring L and Naomi their lemon cakes there would be hell to pay. The rain seemed to be easing up so Light chanced sitting outside under the canopy. Once they had all sampled some pastries and sipped at their coffee, Light decided it was time to get his feelings off his chest. 

"Dad, the reason I invited you here is because *L* persuaded me too. We both know you two aren't exactly fond of each other, but he wanted us to try and make amends. Your my dad, and I love you, but you have caused me a lifetime worth of pain and I'm still struggling to deal with it-"

Souichiro opened his mouth to reply but his wife shook her head and laid her hand on his. This was Light's time to speak and she was very grateful L had managed to persuade her son to actually talk to his father. 

"I know you aren't happy I'm gay, Dad, but the thing is there is nothing you nor I can do about it. I am who I am. I love L with all my heart and if it wasn't for him I'd probably be living a lie and desperately unhappy. I know you are trying to reconcile yourself to my sexuality and to L, but what you did… it could have cost L his life. I warned you not to call that strike and you went above me. L still has nightmares, you know. Can you even imagine the pain he experienced? Can you, Dad?"

Souichiro grimaced and shook his head. 

"Anyway, I can tell you with certainty that if L had died at J's hands I wouldn't have forgiven you. We wouldn't even be having this conversation" Light muttered darkly. This reconciliation stuff was hard. He was half tempted to hug his father and half tempted to just scream at him. 

"I'm sorry, Light" Souichiro whispered. His eyes were filled with tears and he looked *broken* "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you and L. If I could take it back I would. I wasn't even thinking of L when I called that strike… you got shot and nearly died and L…" Souichiro tried to imagine the *things* that had been done to his son's husband. He tried to imagine the pain L must have felt as he was raped and beaten. The man had had four teeth ripped out from his mouth… Souichiro squirmed and closed his eyes. He would never look at L Lawliet in quite the same way. Despite all of the hardship and horror in his life L had bounced back, not unscathed, but stronger from each of them. L was the perfect man for his son, he could see that now. 

"Is it too late to call a truce?" Souichiro murmered sadly. 

Light smiled and reached for his father's hand. "It's never too late for that, Dad. Speaking of calling a truce, that's actually what L and I have decided to call our dog…"

Sachiko smiled in happiness as father and son began to talk about happier things. They were shy and awkward with each other at first, but she noted as the afternoon wore on the old spark of love between them reignited. Light was his father's boy once again, and Souichiro beamed with pride as Light told him all about L's detective agency and his plans for his Vineyard. 

"He's a good man" Souichiro admitted. "He's perfect for you, Light. I wish I could take back the years of therapy I pushed on you. I wish things could have been different"

Light reached for his father and surprised him by pulling him into a hug. "It is what it is, Dad. It's forgiven and forgotten. I'm just glad you accept L and I and are here to celebrate his birthday"

"Thank you for forgiving me, Son" Souichiro suddenly spotted an ornate silver photo frame with the word 'Family' on it. An idea formed in his mind. Souichiro went to pay for it and Light glanced at his mum. 

"I think he's found a way to show L he is part of the Yagami family now too" Sachiko whispered. 

Light felt his stomach flutter in happiness at the thought. Perhaps finally things would work out. If he could just get L and Souichiro to *tolerate* each other it would be a start. Anything more than that would be a bonus… 

The Yagami's finished up their shopping trip and returned back to the villa, which was by this point, completely decked out in Halloween bunting. Decorations of creepy skeletons and cobwebs, pumpkins and the occasional 'Happy Birthday' where hung up everywhere. 

Light half expected his father to make a snide comment about it being fitting L was born on Halloween. He didn't. 

"Baby! We're home!" Light called out. The house was in darkness and Light rolled his eyes. This was the part where Mello would jump out from somewhere and he would pretend to be frightened. He gave his mum and dad a wink before boldly walking into the darkened lounge. 

"Booo! Fagami!" Mello cackled as he jumped out from behind the sofa. 

"Jesus! Mello, you nearly gave me a heart attack" Light played along. His parents exchanged an amused glance as Light formally introduced them to his friends. Mello was on his best behaviour as he gave them a little bow. Matt, who was pretty stoned, simply waved. Naomi and Raye invited them over to look at Junior and soon the Yagami's felt more at home. There was just one problem- there was no sign of L. 

"L?" Light called up the spiral staircase. 

"He's in the bath" Anton answered around a mouthful of Halloween candy, "He shouldn't be long, he's been up there nearly an hour now"

Light poured his mother and father a glass of wine and settled down to engage in strained, if not polite chit chat. Mello had a few nudges in the ribs from Raye and Matt when he answered a bit snappily to Souichiro but they managed to get through an entire conversation about the Greek weather and Light's lovely home without incident. Light looked up as he saw his husband padding down the stairs. He had no idea how L would react to Souichiro. 

"Hello, Yagami-San's" L dipped his head politely as he entered the room to greet them. Startled, Souichiro returned the gesture. 

"L! You look wonderful" Sachiko rose gracefully and gave her son in law a peck to the cheek. "How have you been doing?"

"Very well, thank you, Sachiko-San" L didn't bother to shake Souichiro's hand, but the fact he was willing to be amicable was a start. Light poured his husband a glass of wine and hoped for the best. 

"So… you and your dad on speaking terms, now?" L asked bluntly. Light flushed but nodded his head. "Good. Let me just make one thing absolutely clear: While you are in our home, gay things are going to happen. I'm going to fuck my husband, and I'm going to kiss him whenever the hell I want. If you can't deal with that, Yagami-San, I suggest you step outside" L took a long sip of wine and glanced around the group. Naomi looked like she was fighting back tears of laughter. "Oh, and I'm also really happy you two are speaking again. I don't much like you, Yagami-San, but I'm willing to let bygones be bygones for Light's sake"

Light was bright red and stared helplessly at his mother, but she was struggling not to laugh just as much as Naomi was. 

"I… understand. And thank you, L" Souichiro replied, slightly stunned at L's bluntness. He had forgotten just how formidable L Lawliet could be it seemed. 

"No problem. So, has Light told you about his plans for his vineyard?" L smoothly deviated the conversation to more neutral ground. 

Light sat back in awe and watched as his family, the people he loved with his whole heart, actually talked like civilized human beings. They shared a few bottles of wine and talked well into the night. By the time the evening drew to a close Light felt practically light headed with happiness. Somehow L had banded his family back together. L had even accepted Souichiro's apology *and* tolerated a hug from his father. 

They all retired to bed but long after L had fallen asleep, Light lay awake. He replayed all the meaningful conversations he had had over such a busy day and felt like he could burst with happiness and pride in his husband. 

Light glanced at the clock. 12.02 am. 

"Happy birthday, Beautiful" he whispered into L's ear. 

L snuggled against him and Light closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep safe and warm in his husbands arms… 

*************************

The next morning, Light was awake hours before L. He had a lot to do. Truce was waiting at Matt and Mello's house, he had gifts to wrap and he wanted to make L the sugariest breakfast possible. Light was surprised to find his dad already up and even more surprised when he offered to help out with breakfast. 

Light had just finished making a '26' out of sprinkles when his husband, summoned by the smell of baking, poked his head around the door. 

"Happy birthday, baby" Light cooed. L smiled and pulled Light into his arms. He kissed him and Souichiro politely averted his eyes. Light drew back with a grin. It seemed this truce was here to stay. 

"Happy birthday, L" Souichiro cleared his throat gruffly and set about making some coffee. 

"Thank you, Yagami-San" L returned, a small frown on his face as Souichiro handed him a package from the table. "This is from me"

L looked down at it in confusion. He really hadn't been expecting a gift from Light's dad. He opened it and his mouth dropped open. It was a silver photo frame with pictures of L, Light and his parents. There was even a picture of when Light and Sayu were little. The word family shone out proudly from the center of the frame. 

"Thank you… Souichiro-San" L didn't know what to say. The meaning behind the gift was obvious. Souichiro wanted him to be part of his family. Souichiro acknowledged the use of his first name with a small smile. 

As they enjoyed the sugary breakfast an excited bark rang through the house. L immediately left his food and went to the front door. There stood his friends and in Mello's arms was their little Truce. 

"Hello, Baby" L cooed as he gently lifted the pup from Mello's arms. The puppy looked up at him and promptly began to lap his face. "Light! Souichiro, Truce is here!"

Light's heart swelled at the way L had so casually called his father by his first name. Even Souichiro looked a little flabbergasted. They rushed to the door as everyone piled in. Gifts were laid out on the table and even little Junior had a birthday card tucked in his carry cot for his Uncle L. 

"Hey Buddy" Light grinned as L set Truce down. The pup ran around with his butt and tail wiggling and waggling as he soaked up the excitement. Truce dashed around as he got to know his new home, until the exterion caught up with him. He flopped next to the fire and caught forty winks while everyone laughed at his antics. 

"Having Truce was a great idea" L sighed as he wrapped his arms around Light. "The house feels more homely already, don't you think?"

"Just wait until he starts eating everything" Raye muttered darkly. Mello shot him a shit-eating grin. He'd worked his magic on Raye and Naomi and they were soon to have a darling little puppy of their own. 

"This is Jem" Matt introduced their own sleepy pup. Jen was bigger than Truss and tucked contentedly in his arms. 

"She's a beauty" L murmured as he slowly stroked down the puppies back. Naomi felt a pang of longing and glanced at her husband. 

"Yes, Honey, we'll pick ours up this afternoon" Raye muttered. Naomi shot Mello a triumphant grin and Mello nodded his head. Teamwork was important in getting through to Raye's stubborn head. 

They left the pups to sleep and L opened his presents from his family. Anton and Yuri had bought him A beautifully framed oil painting of their favourite wedding photo. Mello had bought L a vibrator. L cast his friend a wry look and placed it to one side. Souichiro tried not to have a choking fit. 

"Just thinking of the times when Light is away and you find yourself caught short. A gay has got to have all bases covered you know" Mello stuck his finger up as he recited his arcane knowledge. 

"... Thanks, Mel" L muttered dryly. Naomi and Raye's present was far more suitable, not to mention practical, they'd bought L several books on Criminology and a new wireless keyboard after L's went missing in transit. 

L was delighted at the black diamond encrusted watch Light had given him and was even more delighted when Light pointed out the engraving on the back. 'To L, I love you with all my heart, Light x'

Yuri popped the champagne and they all settled down to brunch. As their family laughed and exchanged funny little stories L and Light shared a soft look of contentment. Truce woke up from his nap and promptly got to work shredding the wrapping paper to shreds. 

"He's going to be a menace" Light predicted as Truce ran around with a bin bag in his mouth.

"I hope so" L smiled, "He's practice, remember? I've been thinking… in the new year, could you like to look into surrogacy? I know you were thinking of adoption but… Well, i'd like for us to have our own children"

Naomi spat out her mouthful of wine and stared at them. They were going to ask some random to carry their child for them?! No way! 

"I'll do it!" Naomi blurted out. All eyes turned to her. 

"What?" L spluttered. "You would? Really?" He cast a nervous look at Raye. Judging by the look on his face Naomi hadn't exactly discussed this with him. Light felt immediately awkward and busied himself pouring more champagne. 

"Yes. It's *my* body and if you guys are serious about having kids then I'm your woman. I don't want you trusting something so important to some random woman. Obviously it isn't happening the natural way though" Naomi shot L a smirk. 

"Damn. There goes all my hopes and dreams" L teased, even as his heart fluttered with excitement at the prospect. Suddenly the atmosphere in the room was serious. This bombshell was a lot to take in, especially for Raye. 

"Naomi, i'd like a word" Raye said shortly. He took Naomi's hand and led her into the kitchen. L afforded them some privacy by shutting the lounge door. 

"Wow" Light scratched his neck. "Kinda wasn't expecting that"

"..." L just stared at him, utterly speechless. They tried not to appear too eager to listen in as Raye and Naomi had their talk and by the time the couple entered the room again, they found all eyes on them. 

"Raye and I have discussed it. When you are ready, and I won't be ready for at least another year or so, by the way, but when you are- i'm going to carry your babies" Naomi swept her eyes across her friends shocked faces.

Sachiko burst into tears at the prospect of grandchildren while everyone else just stared at her in stunned silence. 

"Wow" L finally breathed. "You've just given me the best birthday present ever, Naomi"

Naomi flashed him a smile and pulled her friend into a hug. Truce looked around the humans in confusion. Why wasn't he getting all the attention? Truce began to bark and wagged his tail happily when Light picked him up. 

"This is the best birthday ever" L declared. He leaned towards Light and kissed him then kissed Truce's fluffy forehead. 

As the party got in full swing and Truce resumed destroying anything in sight, L and Light shared a tender kiss. Souichiro even managed a smile as his wife danced with him. 

"Fitting name, is Truce" Souichiro murmured into his wife's ear as he watched his son and his husband dance. 

"It is" Sachiko agreed. "It really is…"

The rain lashed down outside, but no one paid it much attention. The family were far too preoccupied dancing, drinking and laughing together. The future was brighter than ever, and as Light clung to his husband he found himself almost wishing the years away. He couldn't wait to start a family with L…


	44. Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light have good news. They invite the family together to share it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure unadulterated fluff right here 😍

Time passed, and before Light knew it he and L were celebrating their first wedding anniversary. It was summer, and Light found himself staring at the stunning vista before him and reflecting on their journey so far. 

Three years had passed since that fateful day when the dark eyed, insolent (or so he had thought) beguiling Detective L Lawliet had burst into his life. In their time together they had experienced blistering highs and earth shattering lows. They'd traveled the world and married under the Grecian sun. They'd rebuilt their lives and laid their ghosts to rest. 

Now they were set to begin their next adventure: Naomi Penbar was pregnant with their children. She was due in November, and Light could scarcely believe it was happening. Even when L smiled at him and whispered baby name ideas it still felt surreal. Even with each passing week where Naomi's belly seemed to swell with new life… it brought tears to his eyes just thinking about it. Thinking about *them*

They'd been blessed. Naomi was carrying twins; a boy and a girl. A princess for L to fawn over and mold into a spirited young woman who knew her worth, and a little man for Light to teach how to fish, how to believe in himself and maybe one day tend his vineyard… 

"Hey, Baby" L spotted Light lost in his thoughts and dumped his shopping bags before walking over to him and slipping his arms around his waist. Light sighed and leaned against his husband, a small smile curling his lip as he smelt that familiar scent of sugar and Vanilla that seemed to cling to L. 

"Hey, Love" Light murmured, eyes slipping closed as he soaked in the feel and smell of the one he loved with all his heart. "Good day?"

"Mmm" L leaned down and kissed Light's head. "Busy. Had a breakthrough with the Dalton case so had to tie that up. Then I met Yuri and Anton and went baby shopping. I know you said they've got enough clothes, but I had to buy more…"

Light smiled and shook his head. Their children would have enough clothes to wear three different outfits a day for the next five years! L was obsessed, but adorably so. 

"Anyway, you looked a little pensive. Is everything okay?" L pressed another kiss to Light's head before letting him go to sit beside him at the Bistro table. Light couldn't help but feel a little cold without those arms around him, so reached for L's hand. 

"I was just… reflecting I suppose" Light squeezed L's hand. "Thinking of how we got here"

L's eyes looked like molten silver in the bright sunlight. Light lost himself in them for a moment, wondering how the hell he had been so fortunate as to have met someone as spectacular as L Lawliet. 

"The past is a good place to visit, but it isn't wise to dwell there too long" L quoted softly. He ran his thumb along the smooth plaine of Light's hand. Light grimaced and nodded his head. Yes, there was parts of his past, of their past, that he did not want to dwell on. 

The heat soaked into their skin and they were content to sit, hand in hand, and listen to the birdsong. L's eyes widened as he had a premonition of their future. One day, when they were old, grey men, they would sit on their patio and feel the same warm sun on their skin. They'd still be holding hands. Time would have weathered their faces, but L knew he would still find Light beautiful. Light would always be beautiful. 

"Uh oh, it's catching. Now you look all lost in thought" Light poked L's shoulder gently, "What are *you* thinking about?"

L smiled wistfully and leaned in for a kiss. "Just you. Us. The future"

The moment was ruined, predictably, by Mello, who flounced out of his house and slammed the door behind him. L and Light shared a look. Trouble in Paradise? 

"Guys! You are not going to bloody believe this!" Mello stormed over to them and pulled out a chair. "That fucking dog has only gone and chewed up my loafers! You know my Italian ones?"

L and Light stared at him blankly. 

"You know! Argh! Never mind!" Mello huffed. "I should have known better than to assume either of you know anything about fashion"

"Ouch, Bitch" L muttered. 

"ANYWAY, the dog chewed them up and do you know what Matt's response was?!"

Light shrugged. "Knowing Matt, it was probably something along the lines of 'Chill out'?"

"That is *exactly* what he said" Mello spat out. "Bastard!"

L rolled his eyes at Mello's dramatics. "They're just shoes, Mel. I'm sure Gem didn't mean to do it"

"She did! She's a menace!"

Light smirked as he thought about their own two legged menace, Truce. He'd finally seemed to grow out of the chewing things stage but had moved on to bigger and better things. Now he was burying whatever he could get his paws on. L's car keys, his wallet-nothing was sacred. 

"Anyway, there's no need for you and Matt to fall out over it" L soothed, "He's been working flat out on his new project, he's probably just a bit stressed" 

Mello bristled. "What about me?! I'm stressed too! I flunked my semester"

Light sighed and shook his head. "There are worse things in the world, Mello, than flunking a semester. You can retry next year. What L is trying to get at is it's really not a big deal"

Mello pouted and his shoulders slumped. "Fine. Urgh, you guys are so damn grown up all of a sudden. Having kids, owning your own businesses…"

'Ah. That's the heart of it. Mello isn't sure what he wants to do with his life anymore' L thought. "Mello, tell me honestly, are you happy with the course your doing"

Mello's shoulders drooped even further and he slowly shook his head. 

"Then why the hell are you doing it?" Light asked. His voice was kind as he stared at his friend. 

"Because! Because I don't know what I want to do. I just can't seem to find my niche, you know? Home decor in Japan went well for a while, then I thought i'd tried fashion but I'm already bored with it. I just feel really restless"

"Then might I suggest you drop out and concentrate on finding something you will enjoy? You're only 26, Mello, you have years ahead of you, God willing" L spotted Matt approaching and flashed him a smile. "Go and make up with Matt. Have some kinky afternoon sex or something. Seriously, don't stress yourself out about something you don't even enjoy. Have a think" L pushed Mello gently and he rose to his feet. 

"Um, sorry" Matt flushed as he spotted Mello's tear-filled eyes. "I'll buy you some new shoes?"

"Shut up you idiot" Mello launched himself at his boyfriend and kissed him. "And get your ass back inside"

Matt grinned as Mello grabbed his arm and dragged him back towards their house. 

"Thanks guys!" Mello blew them a kiss and L and Light could only smile as he slammed the door behind him. 

"You amaze me" Light pulled L into a kiss. It soon turned from a chaste peck to something deeper as he carded his fingers through that dark hair and tilted his head to his side. L whimpered into the kiss and felt a flare of heat wash through him as Light sucked on his tongue. 

"Think we could, uh, have take a leaf out of their book and have some kinky afternoon sex too?" Light whispered, sultry eyes gleaming. 

"I don't see why not. Might as well make the most of it now. Soon we're going to have two little ones to chase after" L brushed his thumb across Light's lip teasingly. 

"We're still totally having kinky afternoon sex, kids or no kids" Light protested. 

'Oh, Light, you've got so much to learn' L thought. Light kissed him again and he decided thinking was overrated. Under the scorching sun with his husband in his arms, all L wanted to do was *feel*

*********************

Two days later, L was to feel again, but this time he was to feel the stirring of his and Light's children in Naomi's womb. 

"Quick! They're kicking!" Naomi gestured them over and they rushed to her. Kneeling on either side, they placed their hands on her belly and felt those magical little bumps of hands and feet as the babies kicked and moved about. Raye watched on, immensely proud of his generous wife. While he had some misgivings about it in the beginning, Naomi, his fearless Naomi, had shot him down and declared it was *womb* in *her* body and she was going to use it to grant her best friends wish. 

And what Naomi Penbar wanted, Naomi Penbar got. 

Now L and Light's children were flourishing inside his wife's body, and he had never been so proud of her. 

"Raye! These two are kicking way more than Junior ever did. I reckon they've got a pair of footballers on their hands" Naomi grimaced at a particularly hearty kick. L's face crumbled in sympathy and he rushed off to make Naomi a cup of tea while Light plumped up the pillows behind her. Naomi, being Naomi, was milking it for all it was worth. 

"And chocolate biscuits!" She called after L. L yelled a "Right you are, Babe!" From the kitchen and began locating all the sweet things he could find. Light smiled at the sight of L dumping a pile of biscuits on a plate. It was testament to how much he appreciated what Naomi was doing for them because Light doubted he would share his sweets with anyone else otherwise. 

"Decided on any names yet?" Raye asked as L brought Naomi's tea and biscuits to her. Reclining like a queen, Naomi munched on them happily as she thought this surrogacy lark was well worth the back pain and swollen ankles. 

"Well…" Light shared a soft look with L, "We have actually. We were hoping we could save it until tonight when everyone's here to announce what they are"

"Oooh. Send a group text, Raye, I want to know the names of my niece and nephew as soon as possible!"

Raye smiled and began the message. He was pleased L and Light had opted to have another woman's egg implanted into Naomi. He had secretly feared if Naomi had been the twins biological mother things might get messy. As it was she was just the carrier. L and Light's joint 'sample' had fertilized the egg. A lot of time and money had gone into the 'making' of the Lawliet twins, but more importantly, was a lot of *love* had gone into it too. 

"Okay, Matt and Mello said they'll be round for six" Raye reported. "Anton and Yuri aren't due back from the Opera until seven though" 

L and Naomi settled down to watch a film while Raye and Light cracked open a few beers and heated the charcoal bbq. Tonight was to be a celebration, and it was decided the names would be announced at half seven when the whole family had arrived. 

"Light!" L yelled. Light immediately stopped what he was doing and ran to his husband. Raye snickered and mumbled something about being under the thumb that Light chose to ignore, because he knew that was sort of the truth. 

'Not that I'd change a thing' Light thought as he hurried into the lounge. 

"Yes, Angel?" he cooed. L was busy giving Naomi a foot massage and Naomi was sighing in bliss as her aching ankles were soothed. 

"Naomi would like a soda and lime and i'd like a beer please"

Light melted at the sight of the pair of best friends. Twin dark eyes smiled back at him. How could he refuse them? 

"Of course" Light rushed back to the kitchen to prepare the drinks as L and Naomi shared a smug look. 

"Naomi… I know I tell you this, like a thousand times a day, but I am so grateful for what you are doing for Light and I" L gently pressed down on her foot to relieve some of the pressure he felt. Since the beginning of Naomi's pregnancy he had researched pregnancy ailments with religious fanaticism. No ankle ache or back pain was too much for him to sort out now. 

"Babe. You are my best friend. You and I have this bond. We are always going to have it. How could I *not* do this for you?" Naomi reached down and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Without you I would never have beaten my cancer. Without you I probably wouldn't even *be* here, L. We might have started off as work colleagues but you've become my family. You know that"

L swallowed the lump in his throat and pressed a kiss to Naomi's ankle. Naomi was so touched by the gesture she felt tears well in her eyes. 

"Fucking hormones!" She moaned as she burst into tears. L burst into tears with her and soon they were reduced to a blubbering mess as they held each other. 

"Oh boy" Raye slapped Light's back good naturedly as he went to deliver the drinks. "Good luck with that, old chap"

As it happened, Light soon found himself in tears again as Naomi began wailing about being willing to 'stick to B and J and any other fucker' because she loved her best friend. Eventually the storm eased and Raye called them out for dinner. 

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess. I didn't mean to bring them up" Naomi hiccoughed as she dried her eyes. 

"No need to apologise" L wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her outside. The sun continued to shine, and the haunting scent of lavender hung in the air. 

Matt and Mello had arrived and waved at them between shovelling food down their faces. 

"Hey guys" L jumped as Truce burst past him to play with Gem and Preya, Raye and Naomi's dog. The young dogs cavorted together as the humans laughed and drank together. Anton and Yuri's car pulled up and soon the family was united. Light went to get the champagne as the last of the food was served. 

"We haven't missed the announcement, have we?" Yuri fretted. 

"Course not" Anton soothed, "L and Light wouldn't make it without us here. We're family"

"That's right" Light clapped Anton on the shoulder and offered his once enemy a bright smile. "Now we're all here, grab a glass of champagne and we will share the news"

Everyone scrambled for a glass while Naomi rolled her eyes at her orange juice. 

"Just wait until I pop these two out. I'm gonna be sipping on champagne *every* night, boys" she purred as she took a sip. Junior chuckled and tugged on his father's hand as if to refute that fact. 

"Everyone. I just want to say how much I love each and everyone of you. Anton: you were the one who taught me what kindness was. You made me bold again. Matt and Mello: you have both been my dearest friends since I set foot in a strange country. You took me in under your wing and I…" L flushed and took a sip of champagne, "and I love you so much. Don't laugh at me baring my soul you bitch" L sniggered as Mello slapped his knee and giggled at him. 

"Love you too, L. You too, Fagami" Matt grinned. 

"And you two… oh, you two" L looked at Raye and Naomi. "You saved me. I can never repay that debt to you. But… Light and I hope we can honor you. Say the names, Love"

Light stood by L's side as they announced the twins names:

"Naomi Isabelle Lawliet and Light Quillish-Raye Lawliet"


	45. Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins are born and L and Light instantly fall in love. They muddle their way through the difficult first months and just when it seems there's light at the end of the tunnel disaster strikes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😭😭 no, I'm NOT okay! 😭😭

L's 28th birthday came and went and he and Light could scarcely contain themselves. In just under a weeks time they were set to become fathers. Naomi's due date was November 5th, but they were all on pins. The Midwife had explained how with twins it was common for them to come early and she admitted she was a little surprised they hadn't already arrived. 

Each morning L and Light woke up with the same breathless excitement. Maybe today would be the day Naomi and Light Junior made their debut into the world? 

It was a rainy Sunday evening when they received the frantic call from Raye.

"She's gone into labour! It's happening! Get to the hospital ASAP!"

Light grabbed his husband and kissed him hard with ecstatic joy. "It's happening! Oh my god!" Light ran around like a headless chicken as he searched for his coat and car keys while L stood in numb shock. 

"L! Come on!" Light threw L's coat at him and blinded him with a smile. "It's time for us to become dads!"

The spell seemed to be broken as L hurriedly shrugged on his coat. They left Truce curled up by the fire as they rushed to the car. The hospital was a forty minute drive away and L suspected every minute would be tedious. As light bombed it down the rain-slick roads, L was making the phone calls. Matt and Mello had already been informed but Anton and Yuri were on vacation in Croatia. L left them a voicemail and glanced at his husband. 

"Slow down a little, Babe. I know you're excited, but an accident is the last thing we need"

Light blushed as he clocked the speedometer. 87 mph. Oops. 

"Sorry" Light mumbled as he slowed down, "God, I'm just so fucking excited and terrified and… I don't even know how I feel!"

L smiled and placed his hand on his thigh. He squeezed slightly as he sat back and closed his eyes. "Me too, Babe" he murmured softly. How could one even describe how they were feeling when they hung on the edge of a precipice? Very soon their lives were going to be changed forever. Very soon their dream of a quiet life in a sunny villa in Greece with children running around was about to come true. 

L blinked away the tears clinging to his lashes and squeezed Light's thigh again. Light glanced at his husband with a soft smile. 

"I love you, L"

"I love you too, My Light" L whispered. 

*****************

Naomi Penbar was screaming at the top of her lungs in between desperate inhaless of gas and air. Raye Junior had been a breeze but these two seemed to be just intent on making her life hell! 'Hope it's worth it, L and Light. You bastards!'

"Wait until they get here" Naomi growled as Raye squeezed her hand. "I'm gonna kill em!"

The nurse hovering by Naomi's side shot Raye a sympathetic look as Raye gulped. Naomi had been pretty much out of it during Junior's delivery. Her body had done the work for her. Unfortunately such was not the case with the delivery of the Lawliet twins. 

"Aaaaaaaaaggghhhh! Raye! Stop looking at me with that stupid fucking face!"

Raye blanched and tried to retrieve his hand from the vice-like grip. Naomi narrowed her eyes at him and he hastily stopped trying to pull away. 

"Don't you fucking *dare*" Naomi hissed. Her body wracked as another contraction hit her. 

"You're doing well! I can see the head! Take a deep breath, Naomi, and *push*" the Midwife soothed. 

"Agggh! I'm *trying* you moody old cow!" Naomi yelled as she screwed her eyes shut tightly. 

"Oh don't worry, I've been called far worse than that" the Midwife smiled at Raye's mortified look. 

L and Light burst into the room just as Naomi went into an expletitive filled rant about how fucking lucky her friends were she was willing to endure this 'bastard torture' for them. 

"We are! We're here! Naomi, you're doing so well, Babe" L grabbed Naomi's other hand and squeezed it gently. "You're incredible, Naomi. You've got this. Just breathe and push, okay?"

L's words seemed to soothe her far more than the Midwife's did. Naomi nodded her hand and clutched at L's hand tightly. She threw back her head and her body heaved. Light watched in awe as his child entered the world. 

The Midwife scooped up the babe and gave it a quick once over. 

"A beautiful healthy girl!" She announced as she cut the umbilicle cord, "And here comes her brother!"

"Gah! God damn twins!" Naomi wailed as her body heaved once again. 

"Come on, Naomi! You're nearly there" Light praised. He could see the head of his son! 

"Like to see you try and fucking do this you condescending prick!" Naomi shot back, misinterpreting Light's encouragement as patronizing. L grabbed her hand tightly and shook his head at Light. Naomi was prickly at the best of times, but it seemed during Labour she was even worse. It was understandable. L stared down at her in absolute awe as she gave birth to their second child. 

The loud wails of the newborns filled the room as an exhausted and sweat-soaked Naomi collapsed against the bed. 

"You've done it" Raye praised. He leaned over and tenderly kissed his wife's cheek. "Baby, you've done it"

Naomi's eyes flickered as she attempted to smile. She reached for her husband's hand and he clutched it tightly, endless love in his eyes as he gazed upon his wife. 

L and Light were gazing down at their children with love in their eyes too. L had Naomi in his arms while Light cradled Junior. It was a touching sight to see, and Naomi forced her eyes to stay open so she could watch the new parents bond with their children for those first precious moments. Eventually it was too much and she fell asleep, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face. 

She'd done it. She'd made her friends dreams come true. 

"L, look at them" Light could barely see through the tears in his eyes, but he didn't need to. His children's sweet faces were already imprinted in his memory. He'd never seen anything so beautiful. 

L couldn't reply. He was transfixed by the dark hair covering his daughter's head. He knew at once she was his. Her nose was his and her pale skin was his. L prayed she would grow up to be not just beautiful but to be kind and intelligent. He wanted his daughter to have the world at her feet. He cast his eyes over to his son and knew instantly he favoured Light. His skin was darker and a ruddy mass of fine hair crowned his little head. 'My little man' L thought fondly, 'You're going to be a fighter, just like your Daddy'

"Congratulations, guys" Raye finally left his wife's side to join them in gazing down at these two new souls. "They're perfect"

"They are" Light wiped his eyes and stared at his son's wrinkled little feet. "Everything is perfect"

*********************

Six weeks later, however, things were less than perfect and parenthood hit *hard*

They were taking it in turns to wake up for feeds but Light had slept through his turn *again* and L was close to breaking point. He rocked one baby while the other sqawled for attention. He was beyond exhausted and the dark circles under his eyes were stark against his pale skin. The sound of his husband's snoring broke something in him. 

"Light Lawliet! Get your ass outta bed right now and help me with the kids you lazy son of a bitch!" 

Light jolted awake at the ferocious yell and scrambled out of bed. He found his husband in the nursery looking quietly furious. 

"Sorry, Baby" Light mumbled, still half asleep as he reached for his daughter. 

"Jesus Christ, Light" L huffed. He sat down on the bed and tested Light Junior's milk on his wrist. "This is the third night this week you've done this"

Light bristled at the scorn in his husband's voice. They both knew having babies was not always a bed of roses, but they were trying their best. What he didn't need was L looking down his nose at him! L knew he needed more sleep than he did! 

"I'm trying" Light bit back as he began feeding Naomi. 

"That you are" L sniped. L's eyes flew to his husband's face and he flinched at the crumpled look Light gave him. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm just so tired, Light. I didn't mean to snap at you"

Light gave him a watery smile as he nodded his head. He understood. He didn't want to argue with L. The hard times would pass and once the kids were settled hopefully sleep could become a thing again. And sex. God damn did he miss sex! 

"It will get easier, Baby" Light whispered to his husband. They looked at each other in the darkness and smiled. 

"It will never be easy, Light" L contradicted as he gazed down at his son, "But it will be worth it. It will be *so* worth it…"

(3 months later) 

Light let out a loud yawn and brought an arm to drape over his eyes. The harsh spring sunshine filtered in through the blinds and he-

'Sunlight? Shit! Shiiiit!' Light's eyes snapped open and he jolted awake, his head jerking to the left where he expected to find his husband's side of the bed empty and an angry gray gaze beating down on him. 

Instead, he found L laying awake and smiling at him. 

"Happy birthday, Light" 

Light smiled and automatically reached for him. They kissed gently and Light felt his arousal simmer as his fingers drifted across his husband's jaw. 

"The kids… I slept through their feeds again, didn't I?" 

L slowly shook his head. "They slept all night. I've given them their morning feed and they're settled once again"

Light grinned at his husband and rolled on top of him, his hungry mouth leaving kiss after kiss on L's smiling face. 

"I want you" Light murmured into his ear. "I'll always want you, always"

L wrapped his arms around his husband's neck and surrendered to those scorching kisses. As Light tenderly stoked the fire of lust between them their babies slept, settled and loved. 

Light eased inside his husband's bodies and they stared into one another's eyes, a moment of silent joy passing between them as they became one once again. 

"I love you" Light breathed into L's ear, "I'm going to love you forever"

L ran his fingers down his husband's back, entranced by the flexing and shifting of his husband's muscles as they tenderly made love. 

"I'll love you even further than that" L vowed. He caught Light's chin in his hand and stared deeply into his eyes. "If life parts us, Light, know that I will spend the rest of eternity waiting for you"

It was a strange thing to say, and darkly beautiful. Light choked up and buried his face in L's hair. He didn't want to think about life parting them. He didn't want to think of a life without the one who had turned his existence upside down. L was his world. 

"Hush" L soothed. He ran his fingers through Light"s hair and kissed the tear that trickled down his cheek. "I'm here. You've got me, Shh, Light. I'm not going anywhere, not yet. Shh…" L hooked a leg around Light's lower back and tightened around the gently thrusting cock. Light whimpered and hung his head, hips bucking faster as pleasure seared through him. 

Light sobbed out his pleasure against L's neck as his hips pistoned, driving them both closer to the edge. L yanked his husband's head up by his hair and kissed him, sucking his tongue into his mouth and groaning his pleasure as he splintered apart. Light choked out a moan that was swallowed down by his husband and wrenched his mouth away to cry out in ecstasy. L squeezed his eyes shut as he came in spurts across his belly, his legs locking around Light's back as he felt his husband's come shooting inside of him. 

Breathless, Light trembled and then fell forward, instinctively nuzzling into L's neck as he panted for breath. L held him, his eyes dark and wide as he stared up at the sunlight catching in Light's hair. 

Distantly the soft wails of Naomi and Light sounded and they smiled at one another. 

"Duty calls"

"Booty calls" Light snickered, mirroring Naomi Senior's automatic response. L chuckled and pressed a kiss to Light's hair. 

"Urgh. Don't want to move. I'm comfy" Light shivered as his softening cock slipped from his husbands body. "Was comfy"

L giggled and lightly patted Light's back. "Get up, Baby, the kids want to say Happy Birthday to you too"

Light grinned and slowly eased himself up. He pulled L up with him and pressed their bodies together. They shared a soft kiss before the wails increased in volume. The twins were hungry and they wanted to be fed *now*

They slipped out of bed, threw on dressing gowns and went to them. Little Naomi's face was red faced with fury, her dark eyes ('Her Daddy's beautiful eyes', Light always thought) were wet with tears. 

"Shhh, Darlings, we're here" L scooped up Naomi while Light rushed to soothe Junior. Junior wriggled in Light's arms and threw up all over him. 

L snorted in wry amusement. "Aw, he said Happy birthday to you, Dad!"

Light smiled around a grimace as he wiped baby's puke from his chin. "Thanks, Little man"

They went downstairs to prepare the babies formula and soon the twins were calm and contented with full bullies. The family soon gathered, strolling through the kitchen door and laden with gifts. 

"Happy birthday you old bastard!" Mello pecked Light's cheek. "Old age looks good on you!"

Light scowled. "I'm 27, you dick!"

Mello giggled and pecked Light's other cheek. "Now, now, Dear!" He gestured to the pile of gifts Raye and Anton were placing on the kitchen table. 

"Happy birthday, Lwight!"

Light opened his arms to his nephew as Raye junior toddled over to him, his chubby arms outstretched as he raced for a hug from his uncle. 

"Thank you, Baby boy" Light ruffled Raye's curly dark hair. "You been a good boy for mum and dad?"

Naomi snorted and necked back a cup of coffee. "No. Terrible fucking twos has hit early"

"Little ears" Raye sang, giving their son a pointed glance. 

"Ugh, suck my dick, Raye" Naomi sassed back. Her eyes gleamed as she spotted L sniggering into his fist. Their lives might be very different than when they first met, but time could not change Massacre's sass, he thought. 

"Wow! Thanks Yuri" Light proudly held up his favourite football team's new shirt. L rolled his eyes, knowing full well Light wouldn't take the damn thing off for the rest of the week. 

"How's the Vineyard going?" Anton asked as he passed Light a cup of coffee in a 'Happy Birthday!' mug. 

"Good, mate. Yeah, really good! I'm hopeful this Autumn's yield will be even greater than last years" Light shot L and Naomi a look. "Perhaps our resident wine experts could give us their opinion on last years vintage later?"

"Ohhhhh" Naomi and L shared a smirk. "We will"

As Light and L went upstairs to shower and dress, their friends prepared a birthday brunch for them. The bistro table on the sunlit veranda had been replaced by a larger, more family friendly long table. The children were sat in the shade out of the reach from the cool winter sun. Raye Junior was content to sit on his little dinosaur beanbag and pet the dogs as they flopped out on the floor next to them. 

"Gem's getting fat" Naomi called to Matt and Mello, "What are you feeding her?"

They shared a look. Matt grinned as he launched into the tale of how Gem had discovered and devoured his entire batch of brownies. 

"Special ones?" Anton fretted, his eyes darting over to the rather chunky lab. She did appear quite chilled out… 

"Heh, no. They were *going* to be special ones" Matt shrugged, "until the fatass got her paws on them!"  
Truce jumped up and snagged the muffin out of Matt's hand and he pouted. What was it with these greedy bastard dogs? 

"Poor baby" Mello patted Matt's cheek and plucked a fresh muffin off his plate for him. 

"Thanks, Babe!" 

Naomi smiled at the sight of them. She marvelled at what a special thing it was, to have a self made family consisting of friends who had banded together and stuck together through thick and thin. Their happiness was her happiness and although no one knew what the future would bring, she knew her family would be alright as long as they stuck together. 

L and Light appeared and Raye popped open the champagne. 

"Happy birthday, Light!" L led the toast and kissed his husband's lips. 

Anton emerged from the kitchen with a birthday cake and Light leaned over to blow the candles. 

"Stop! You have to make a wish!" Yuri lowered his camera and Light glanced at L, a soft look settling on his face as he admired how the sunlight reflected those little specks of silver he so loved in L's eyes. 

"No need for that. My wish came true. He's right here" Light blew out the candles in a single breath, his eyes fixed on his husband's face. 

Time seemed to stop as L suddenly went white and staggered, his eyes rolling back in his head. Light felt like he was underwater as he reached for him. L looked so confused as he clutched at his chest, face crumpling with pain as his knees gave way. 

"L! L!"

Naomi grabbed her best friend and gulped as she spotted the thin trickle of blood run down the corner of his mouth. 

"His heart! Call an ambulance! Move!"

Light couldn't move. He stood frozen to the spot as his lover's strongheart gave out on him. 

He could only sob as Naomi began CPR and Raye called an ambulance. Time was suddenly meaningless. Nothing seemed to make sense… 

"I've got a pulse!" Naomi cried, tears streaming down her face. She barked orders at Matt and Mello to bring Light and the children inside. Light let himself be walked inside, his legs shaking as Mello pushed him down on the sofa and held his hand in his. 

"It will be alright, Light. L's a fighter. He's always been a fighter"

"..." Light let out a braying sob as the thought hit him: 'What if L was tired of fighting? Is that what L had meant with that funny speech this morning? Had he *known* something like this was going to happen? 

Light's heart raced and he hyperventilated as the Paramedics arrived. He could only watch as his husband was loaded onto a trolly and rushed to hospital, the words 'Heart failure' ringing in his ears. 

Naomi was at his side, whispering urgently at him to get up and go with L in the ambulance but he could do nothing. He tried to reply to her but no sound came out. 

"He's fainting!"

Light pitched forward and everything was black.


	46. Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L wakes up to some bad news, and as he tries to reconcile himself to his fate his family refuse to listen. Will a heart be found for L before its too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Angst fest continues... But there is light at the end of the tunnel!

When L awoke it was to the soft hum of the heart monitor he was hooked up to. He shifted his eyes to the chair pulled up close to his bedside. 

He smiled weakly at the sprawled figure of his husband. Light was holding his hand, his arm stretched out and body contorted. It didn't look a very comfortable position in which to sleep, but L figured Light was probably too exhausted to even notice. 

Light shifted in his sleep and L gently squeezed his hand. Light's eyes snapped open, focusing blurry on his husband's pale face and those unfathomable dark eyes gazing at him. 

'He's awake!' Light lunged at him and covered his husband's face in kisses. It was only when L made a soft, pained noise and winced did Light jerk back. He'd leaned too heavily on L's poor arm, and he was still hooked up to the monitors. 

"Baby! Oh my god, L, you're awake!" Light sobbed and pressed frantic kisses to L's hand. "Thank god, thank god…"

L wished he could embrace his husband, kiss those purple circles that hung under haunted eyes. He knew by the sight of him that something terrible had happened. His heart had failed. 

"How bad?" L rasped. 

Light's lip quivered and he burst into tears. 

"Oh," L gave Light's hand another weak squeeze, "That bad?"

Light's tear-filled eyes lifted to his and L saw utter devastation in them. "You need a new heart, L. Your… your heart is d-damged a-and-"

"Shhh" L tugged at Light's hand with what little strength he possessed. "It's alright. We knew there was a risk of this happening, My Light, there is nothing that can be done-"

"There is *everything* that can be done! I'm not willing to lose you, L! You're not even fucking 30 yet! It isn't fair!"

L smiled bitterly at his husband. "Life isn't fair, Baby" 

"Maybe not! But I'm not giving up and neither are you! We're getting you on the transplant list" Light's eyes were blazing as he stared down at his husband. "We are going to fight this together, L, and we're going to be okay. We don't have any other option. The twins need their father and I need my Baby"

L's face softened and he gently stroked the back of Light's hand with his fingertips. "I will fight for you, Light, for as long as I'm able, I promise you that" there was more he wanted to say, but he didn't have the strength for it. Light's image blurred before him and his head fell back, sleep claiming him once more. 

Light swallowed thickly and bent over his husband. He'd never realised before how frail he really was. Beyond's poison had been like a silent curse and it had struck at the moment of their utmost happiness.   
L had bounced back seemingly unscathed and now, years after Beyond's Death, his malice had come back to haunt them. 

"I'm never giving up on you, L. We're going to grow old together, I swear to you" Light pressed a lingering kiss to L's forehead, his tears trickling onto his lips and making the kiss taste of salt and sorrow. "Fight for me, Strongheart, you fight for me, okay?"

In his sleep, L's fingers curled around Lights and Light laid his head against L's chest, ears straining to hear the sluggish rhythm of L's heartbeat. 

It took over an hour, but once Light had composed himself and ensured L was resting peacefully, he slipped out of the room to call his parents. They were scheduled to fly out to Mykonos the next morning, but before they did Light needed to speak to them. He needed to hear a friendly voice in this darkest of hours. He needed his mother. 

*******************

In the days that followed, Light felt he couldn't breath. The irrepressible reminder of his husband's mortality pressed down on his shoulders. He felt crushed under the weight of it. Roughly 41% of people waiting to receive a heart died while waiting. One way to recieve a heart faster? It was the same answer as always: money. 

"L has more than enough of that" Light declared as he tried to find his strength, "Matt, I want you to use your tech skills and hack into as many medical records as you can. Hack the organ donor register. I don't care what it takes, we are getting L a heart transplant!"

Matt was already muttering under his breath as she shifted his laptop on his knees. His fingers flew across the keyboard as he worked diligently. The doctors had said L would be lucky to survive a year, maybe two, without a heart. That did not give them much time to save him, but save him they would! Matt refused to allow himself to think of the alternative. Their family wouldn't be the same without L. 

Pale faced and silent, Naomi sat by L's bedside and gently stroked his hair. L slept a lot, his usual spark diminished as his heart struggled to keep going. 

"Mr Lawliet is suffering a rare cardiovascular disorder linked directly to his Arsenic poisoning. His remarkable recovery 3 years ago was masking this condition. It is unfortunate that this condition progresses gradually, and is extremely difficult to detect in its early stages…" 

Light replayed the information the heart specialist had given them over and over in his mind. The words were committed to his memory by now. His L would die if he didn't receive a heart soon and the news was utterly devastating. It was as if the very fabric of his reality had been swept out from underneath his feet. L was his world and his reason for living. Light knew in his heart he wasn't even truly alive until that fateful day he'd walked into Kitamura's office and met the strange, foreign detective… 

L mumbled Light's name in his sleep and Light scooted closer to him. 

"I'm here, Baby, it's alright" he soothed as he leaned close, "Rest now, L, you're safe"

"Except he isn't" Naomi whispered bleakily, "Oh god, Light, I'd rather face cancer all over again than face this!"

Raye recoiled as if he had been slapped. He swallowed the lump in his throat as Naomi threw herself into Light's arms and sobbed into his chest. He knew how close L and Naomi were. They were more than just best friends. They would die for one another, their bond was unbreakable. 

The hours ticked by until L opened his eyes once again. His family crowded around his private room, their dull eyes brightening with hope with each mouthful of stew he managed. 

"How are… the twins?" L panted. Anton immediately reached for the oxygen and upped it. L found it difficult to talk without the oxygen tubes in his nose, and his SATs were being monitored every hour. For a young man they were appallingly low at just 91%. 

"They're good, Love" Light soothed, "They miss you so much. Junior's smiling and Naomi… Heh, she's just scowling at everything"

"Just like her namesake" Mello's voice cracked with pain as he tried to joke. L offered a weak smile in gratitude. 

"Fuck you" Naomi whimpered as she clung to Light, "You bitch"

L wheezed out a laugh at their bickering and launched into a coughing fit. He shook his head when Light made to reach for him. 

"It's fine. Fluid build up, most likely" L stated with that ever present bluntness, "It will pass…"

Light bit his lip and felt a fresh stream of tears fill his eyes. His husband was a 28 year old man who's lungs were filling up with fluid. It was a sick joke. L was *dying* an old man's death. 

L's Dr, a timid looking man called Emmanuel Zucker, knocked on the door and poked his head in. He smiled at the sight of L's family gathered around his bedside. They had refused to leave his side and had remained a constant presence throughout the ten days his patient had been admitted. It was a touching sight, and one not often seen, if the Dr was honest. 

The dedication show to L Lawliet was inspiring. 

"Evening, everyone" Dr Zucker dipped his head, "I've come to take some more blood samples, if that's alright?"

"Sure, bleed me dry, Doc" L managed a wry smile, "Any news on the last lot you took?"

Zucker cleared his throat and rifled through L's file. "Ah, yes. Your Liver and Kidney are functioning normally, Mr Lawliet, but as I have already explained, with the build up of fluid it is vital we keep a close eye on your Renal system"

"Of course" L dipped his head. He knew there was a strong chance as the days passed that they would start packing up too. He kept such thoughts to himself. He couldn't fault the care he was receiving at the private clinic and Matt and his friends were doing their very best to secure a match. He lay back and repeated the mantra that had gotten him through the toughest moments of his life: 'It is what it is' he would not allow himself to wallow in self pity. Light had asked him to fight, and that was what he was going to do. He made a conscious effort to keep himself calm and reserve his strength. 

"However, let us not dwell on that quite yet. While your sats remain low, you are in a stable condition with the oxygen and Furosemide drip. I've heard from the nurses you are eating and drinking well?"

"Some days" Light automatically answered, "Some days are better than others"

"Of course, yes" The Dr couldn't help but grimace in sympathy at the earnest young man. The pain on his face was heartbreaking. As was so often the case, the family members surrounding L were more distressed than the patient himself. L was calm and composed as he allowed more blood to be extracted from the cannula in his left hand. 

"I really fancy a cold coffee" L sighed once the Dr had bid them a good evening, "And for you all to stop moping about. Tell me about the dogs. How've they been?"

Anton and Yuri slipped out of the room to get the coffee as Raye launched into tales of Preya, Gem and Truce's exoits. L settled back against the pillows as he imagined the three dogs getting up to mischief. It made him ache for home. He wanted to sit out on the veranda and smell the haunting scent of lavender on the evening breeze again. 

Tears pricked his eyes and they burned as L refused to let them fall. He had to be strong, and he couldn't indulge in grief. The battle wasn't lost yet. Maybe he would one day see his home again? 

"Sweetheart, can you sit up a little? The nurses are here to help freshen you up…"

L cringed. How fucking humiliating. He kept his eyes closed and nodded his head shortly. His face was pinched as he heard Light murmur for everyone to wait outside. L was relieved when the door closed. He didn't want them to see him like this. He didn't want to be like this. 

'God damn you, Beyond, if you're looking down at me I hope you feel regret. If you don't and I do die, I will track you down and make eternity *very* stressful for you' L thought. A bubbly little nurse who reminded him of the late Misa Amane began chattering away as she washed his chest and L sighed deeply. 

'Find me a heart or give me death. I can't carry on like this' L grimaced as one of the nurses clinically wrapped her hand around his cock and washed it. L distracted himself by thinking of his wedding day, but even those happy memories bled into darkness as his bed bath continued. 

Outside of the room, Light seemed to sense his husband's dark thoughts. He knew L was a proud man. There was nothing worse than for him to be laid up in bed, having to be washed and *fed*.Light or Naomi would help him to the bathroom for L flatly refused to be catheterised. 

'I may be all but an invalid but I still have my dignity. For as long as I am able I'm going to take a piss by *myself*' L had snarled at a pushy nurse. That had been the end of that. 

Light held his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. Tomorrow would be day eleven. His parents were staying at their home to watch the twins, and Light felt a twinge of guilt. He didn't want to leave L's side but he was tired and he just wanted a bath. 

"Hey" Anton handed Light a coffee as he sat next to him. "You can go home you know. We're all here for him, and he doesn't expect you to stay all the time. He's told you so himself. Light, you need to go home and see your children, Speak to your parents… just rest for a little while, please"

Light's shoulders trembled but he slowly nodded his head.

"Drink your coffee and say goodnight to L. We will drive you home" Yuri laid a hand on his shoulder, "And in the morning we will all return together"

"Thank you" Light whispered. Anton tried not to flinch at how hoarse and broken Light sounded. Light eased himself up with a sigh and waited until the nurses had left before he slipped into L's room. L was staring at the ceiling, an angry glint in those stormy eyes of his. L's gaze shifted to him and they immediately softened. 

"You need to go home and see the children, Light. Give them a…kiss from me"

Light flew to his side and reconnected the oxygen as L's voice faltered. 

"Will you be okay? Will you be alright without me here for a few yours?" Light stressed as he glanced over L's charts. Oxygen level 92%. Blood pressure low. Liver and Kidney function stable. 

"I'll be okay. You're here" L tapped his chest in the spot his heart was. "If I die, Light, I will die happy because I finally found true love with you. But, if I am to die I will die at home with my family and without these bastard bed baths and poking and prodding. Promise me you will see to that."

Light shivered at the words. "Don't give up on me, L. Don't you dare!"

L met his eyes challengingly. "Promise me what I've just asked, Light" 

"I promise! I promise you will… no! You won't. You won't die, you can't die"

L cracked a smile. "You've a beautiful sort of innocence to you, Light. Keep it. Now, please, go home, I'm going to try and sleep. I will keep fighting for as long as I can, but you keep your promise. If I get worse than I am and there is no sign of a transplant… I want to be at home when it happens. In your arms and surrounded by my family"

Light kissed his husband, the taste of his tears bleeding into it. Light kept kissing him until L's lips went slack under his. He pulled away and stared at that beloved face. 

"I'm getting you a heart, L" Light tenderly stroked L's hair. "I'd reach inside myself and pluck my own heart out for you, you know? It's yours anyway. You own it"

L stirred in his sleep and Light pressed one last kiss to his lips. "Fight" he whispered his plea in goodbye. Light returned home to his family and felt himself fighting back the tears as soon as he entered the front door. The house didn't feel like home without L in it. 

He was struck with a sudden vision of his home with photographs of L surrounded by candles. A fridge not full of candy. Two sad children mumbling how they missed Daddy… 

It knocked the wind out of him and he struggled to breath. That could not be L's fate. L had overcome so much and this latest battle would not be the one to defeat him. 

'Light?" Sachiko emerged from her bedroom wrapping a dressing gown around herself. "Sweetheart!" She ran to her son and fell to her knees, arms wrapping instinctively around quivering shoulders. 

"He said he wants to die at home" Light wailed into his mother's arms. "He's talking about dying like he's already consigned to it, Mum!"

Sachiko sighed softly as she petted her distraught son. She knew the kind of person L Lawliet was. He picked his battles wisely and conserved his strength and walked away if he didn't think he could win. L was trying to prepare Light for the prospect of his death but her son wasn't listening to him. 

"Darling, I think L is just letting you know his final wishes… just in case" Sachiko wiped the tears from Light's face. "You have to be brave, Sweetheart"

"I'm not brave! L's the brave one, he always has been!"

"No. You *are* brave, Light, and L will need to see it. He needs you more than ever now. Come on, let's get you upstairs so you can have a bath and go to bed. You can see the children in the morning"

Light let his mother help him to his feet. He followed the motions of drawing a bath and sitting in it, his eyes far away and distant as he tried to muster up his courage. 'I have to be brave for him. I have to show him I can be brave…'

Light felt like a failure when the sight of L's marshmallow bubble bath reduced him to tears. 

***********************

Matt had nearly given up hope when he found it. Searching through the deep web he stumbled across a website that made him feel both sick to his stomach with revulsion and cautiously hopeful. 

It was a website where wealthy patrons advertised for transplants needed for themselves or family members. They bypassed the usual restrictions and regulations and chucked money at the grieving, usually cash-strapped, families of the deceased until they got what they wanted. 

Most of the donors and their families were from third world countries where violence was prevalent and life expectancy was low. It was a sad fact of life that their families had to advertise their loved ones death and the availability of their organs but… 

"L can't wait. He can't wait long enough to receive a transplant on the list… he's only at number 241 in priority in all of Europe…" Matt bit his lip as he typed in 'Heart'

His eyes widened as he saw not one but *four* human hearts available to be purchased. 

He immediately scrolled down to the profile of a young Thai biker who had been killed in a motorcycle accident. 32. No health conditions. Healthy heart. Starting bid: 1 million USD. 

"Mello!" Matt yelled, his voice echoing through the dark emptiness. Mello stumbled into the room, having just woken up from his exhausted sprawl on the kitchen table. 

"Yes? Anything?!"

"Look at this. " Matt turned the screen of his laptop and he saw the same disgust and hope flicker in his boyfriend's eyes. 

"We need to get Light! Stay here and bid whatever the fuck it takes to get that heart!"

Matt grabbed an energy drink and downed it in three gulps. He quickly shot the family a message of condolence and explained L's situation to them. He specified no amount of money would be too great to save L, and that he hoped in their time of grief they might take some comfort in the knowledge their loved ones heart could save another young man's life. He hesitated before he wrote about how disgusted he was websites like this existed and how it hurt him that they existed to cash in on people's desperation. He ended the email by stating he was sorry for the families loss (because he was, 32 was no age to die) before he let out his breath and sent the email. 

He googled the time difference between Thailand and Greece and massaged his brow. It was going to be a long night of waiting it seemed… 

Mello ran out of his house and bolted up the path to L and Light's. He banged on the door until a sleepy Souichiro answered. 

"Matt might have found a heart! Get Light and meet us in our kitchen" Mello blurted out before dashing off again. 

Souichiro rubbed his face and slammed the door, running up the stairs to tell his wife and son the news.

Meanwhile, in the hospital, L coulsnt sleep. He'd woke up an hour or so after Light have left and found Naomi sat by his bedside. He noticed how the moonlight highlighted the stress on her face. She looked years older than the laughing girl he'd first encountered. 

'But you've been through the wars too, haven't you, Nomie? You've kept fighting throughout it all…'

L sighed and settled back against his pillow. He had tried to fight this but he was feeling so tired now. He didn't want to leave Light or his family but the prospect of just not feeling pain anymore… of not struggling to breath, of not feeling and hearing the fluid crackling in his lungs. It was going to take a miracle to find him a heart in time, L knew that. 

'I'm going to have to speak to Light tomorrow. Make some arrangements while I still can'

Naomi's phone blaring startled L from his thoughts and he watched as Naomi automatically snatched for it, ever alert. 

"Yes? Any news?!"

L watched as a flush of pink swept Naomi's cheeks and her eyes sparkled in happiness. It was as if she was transformed before his eyes. Gone was the tired, frightened woman and in her place sat the bright-eyed, fiery girl he loved. 

"Yes! Yes, he's awake! Oh my god, Light! I will tell him the news and get the Drs!"

'Impossible. They've found me a heart? How? I'm not even that high up on the priority list…' L's eyes widened as he suddenly realised how this was possible. His family had taken a leaf out of his own book and clearly thrown money at some poor unfortunate family in exchange for their loved ones organs. He'd heard of such websites on the deep web and had found them distasteful at first, before he remembered Quillish's favourite saying: 'Everything has its price'

"L… Light's telling me to tell you a heart is being flown from Thailand first thing in the morning!"

'Thailand… figures. God, that poor family. I need to contact them!' L wished he didn't have a thousand wires and tubes attached to him. He wanted nothing more than to sit up and find the family whose gift would save his life. 

Naomi was crying, tears rolling down her face but L felt strangely calm. He'd reconciled himself to death and now that he had a chance to live it left him feeling numb and confused. He thought about his children and felt some of the numbness wash away. He wanted to live long to see them take their first steps, to see them grow and learn… 

"Light" L whispered. He wanted to live for him most of all. He wanted to spend years with him, travel with him, get to know him in a way only a lifetime of being together could achieve. 

"Tell Light I'm ready and I'm accepting that heart. Tell him I will fight for him"

Naomi repeated L's words and L smiled shakily. He had a second chance, another second chance in a lifetime filled with knockbacks and traumas. 

He almost felt foolish for accepting his fate. His family hadn't accepted it despite his best efforts to comfort them. His family had shown him what true bravery was all about. His Light most of all…


	47. Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L undergoes heart surgery... Will he live?

Light didn't sleep a wink the night before L's transplant. He sat by his husband's side, holding his hand and together they talked the night away. 

L eventually drifted off around four am, and Light watched over him, praying that the operation would be a success. His eyes drifted to L's laptop and he couldn't help but smile. Even in such ill health, L had insisted on messaging the family whose loved ones heart he was receiving. L's new heart had only cost the million Matt had originally bid. Despite being hard up, the family had appreciated Matt's frank and conciliatory letter and despite the bids for the heart running into the tens of millions, it seemed there *were* some things money couldn't buy. The family deleted the auction and contacted Matt directly to exchange details and payment and Matt had even spoken to the grieving family via webcam. In the darkest of hours there was some light it seemed. 

Now, L's new heart lay waiting for the transplant in cold storage. 

Light glanced at the clock on the wall. L's surgery was scheduled for nine am and it was going to be a long and grueling process. He was looking at at least a twelve hour surgery. Light squeezed L's hand at the thought. 

"You're so strong, L, I know you can do it for me. You have so much to live for. Your family adore you, your children adore you and *I* adore you. You're going to *live*, L" Light dropped a kiss to L's hand, sending up a little prayer to make it so. 

They all knew the risks with such a dangerous procedure. There was a 30% chance L wouldn't make it through surgery. L had taken the news with a simple nod of his head and stated matter of factly he'd take those odds considering without surgery his chances of survival were pretty much nil. 

Light hadn't taken it as well. He'd broken down, numb with fear. 30% sounded so frightening. It had been L himself who had comforted him and made him see reason. 

'It's this or nothing, Light. It's a risk I… *we* have to take. If I don't make it, at least we tried. At least we *fought*, okay? Please don't cry, I love you:

Light couldn't stop the tears pricking at the memory of L's words. L had a fortitude to him that seemed depthless. Not for the first time did Light wish he shared it. 

Distantly Light heard the dawn chorus begin, the birdsong hauntingly beautiful as it drifted in through the window. He never let go of L's hand as he prayed. He didn't believe in god but he believed in fate and karma. L Lawliet *deserved* to live. He prayed to the universe that this beautiful soul would be spared because it would be *injustice* if he was not. Light just hoped the universe would listen. 

As it approached seven, Light decided to wake L up. He wasn't allowed to eat before the operation, but he could drink and Light wanted to make sure he was optimally hydrated. 

"Baby" Light pressed gentle kisses to L's face. "Wake up and have a drink for me?"

"Mmm… Light?"

"I'm here. Can you sit up and have a drink for me?"

L sighed and slowly opened his eyes. Light watched the blurry orbs focus on his face and felt a pang of pure love hit him. He was going to look into those eyes for the rest of his life. He didn't know how he knew it, he just *did* he'd been heard, and L would survive. He felt it in his bones. 

"Drink?"

L didn't really want water but he opened his mouth and took a few sips for Light's benefit. 

"Time is it?" L mumbled groggily. 

"Just gone seven. Not long to go now, L" Light pressed the beaker against L's lips. "A few more sips, for me… please?"

L took a few more sips. He'd walk through fire for Light, he thought. He was still half asleep, but the sight of his husband, so pale and drawn in the early morning light struck him. "You need to rest, Light, you look awful" L rasped quietly. 

"Me?!" Light burst into shocked laughter. "My darling, don't worry about *me* okay? Just get through today and we'll be okay. We will be okay…"

L wished he could wrap his arms around Light. He wished he could erase all his fears. "We will be okay" L confirmed, voice soft with emotion. It seemed to help, because Light's eyes brightened at the words. 

At eight the family gathered. Although no one spoke of it, each knew there was a chance this could be the last time they saw L. L looked around the sad, pale faces and wished things could be different. His tired, broken heart ached for them. 

"Well, I have 12 hours under the knife to get through. Damn, It's going to be a long day" L tried to joke, just to lighten the mood. Anton and Light smiled at the attempt, while Mello burst into tears and buried his head in Matt's chest. 

"We'll be waiting for you when you wake up. I love you, L" Anton stepped forward and pressed a kiss to L's forehead. Light closed his eyes, not in jealousy as he once would have felt at such an action, but in sorrow. His friends were subtly saying their goodbyes, just in case. 

"Love you too, Ant" L smiled up at his old flame, "Cold coffee and lots of donuts when I wake up?"

"You bet" Anton's smile quivered. "I'll even get you the custard ones you like so much, okay? So long as you promise to be good and not cause the surgeon too much trouble"

L laughed wheezing slightly. "I will try"

Mello couldn't say anything. He just draped himself dramatically over L and sobbed into his chest for a few minutes. L cast a helpless glance at Matt and he stepped forward to relieve L. 

"Babe, L is going to be fine" Matt soothed. He squeezed L's shoulder and gave him a pointed look that seemed to say: 'You'd better pull through' before leading Mello outside. 

Naomi strode over to him and being careful not to jostle him too much, pulled him into her arms and hugged him hard. 

"Don't you dare fucking die on me, L. You got that?"

"Yes, Ma'am" L smiled up at her and squeezed her back. "Give Ray junior a kiss from me"

"Give him one yourself when you wake up" Raye patted L's arm and offered him a small smile. 

Light was the last to leave and would only leave when he was politely *forced* by the nurses. Light cast a last glance over his shoulder at his husband, helplessness and desperation welling up inside. 

"I love you, L! I love you more than anything!"

Time seemed to slow to a stop as they stared at each other across the room. L's breath hitched as he weakly raised his hand in a wave. 'This isn't goodbye. This can't be goodbye'

And then everything seemed to speed up. L flinched as he was detached from the drips and monitors and gulped as he felt his heart beat frantically against his chest. The anesthetist came and after some final checks and preparation it was time to go. 

L squinted up at the anesthetist as he felt a prick in his arm. He felt a terrible sense of panic and tried to open his mouth. He wanted to say he loved Light again! 

"Relax. Breath in. Count backwards from ten…"

L got to nine before everything went black… 

*****************

Sixteen hours. It had been sixteen excruciatingly painful hours since he'd last seen his husband. 

Light twitched as he resumed pacing. He couldn't sit still. His nerves were frayed and they were assaulted anew each time the door opend or he heard the muffled conversation of a passing Dr. 

Where was his L? Why hadn't they received an update? The last they had heard from the staff was four hours ago, when L's surgery was *scheduled* to end. They had informed the family the new heart had been transplanted and that the Dr was now working on 'making sure the arteries and the veins worked properly'

"What if he's dead?" Mello whimpered. 

Light's head whipped to him, a snarl of fury twisting his face. "Don't you dare say that! He's okay! He is *Fine*, Mello!"

"Easy now" Anton soothed. He gently guided Light back to the sofa and sat him down. "Sometimes surgeries run over. It's nothing to concern yourself about" Anton honestly didn't know if what he was saying was the truth, he just wanted Light to calm down. 

"They do, don't they" Light nodded his head, a flicker of relief flashing through his bloodshot eyes, "Maybe he's just taking a while to wake up in recovery?"

"I'm sure that's the case" Yuri dropped to Light's side to aid his boyfriend in calming him. 

Naomi, however, was snapping her fingers with impatience. She was furious with the lack of an update, and with each passing minute she felt herself winding up tighter and tighter. Storm Naomi was about to blow. 

"Don't" Raye pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "Don't, Naomi"

"We need answers!" She hissed back, "Those bastards should have *said* something by now!"

The door opened and Light sprang to his feet. The entire family stared at the Dr as he wiped his brow and entered the room, his weariness obvious. 

"Is he okay?" Light got straight to the point, his heart beating frantically. His eyes pleaded with the Dr. 'Don't tell me my husband is dead. Don't tell me my love is gone"

"He's okay" the Dr offered them a shaky, exhausted smile, "he's been moved into intensive care to be monitored but the surgery has been a success"

"Oh my god" Light turned to Naomi, tears pouring from his eyes. "He's okay! He's going to be okay!"

They crushed each other with embraces as they celebrated L's triumph over death. L had promised them he would live and had delivered on that promise. 

Light grabbed his phone to call his parents while Mello began laughing hysterically in relief. 

**********************

L was dreaming and in his dream he and Light were old men. Light had never looked so beautiful to him, even with faded auburn hair peppered with grey. 

They were sat on their veranda, the sky a beguiling mix of pink and burnt orange as the sun slowly sank below the horizon. The soothing scent of lavender hung thickly in the breeze and they shared a smile, both sinking back deeper into their chairs in bliss. 

"I love you, L" Light sighed. 

"I love you too, Light" L reached for his hand. Light's hand was withered, wrinkled and littered with age spots but L looked past that. All he cared about was the wedding ring, still shining brightly, on Light's finger. 

"Light…"

"He's waking up!"

L scrunched his face in confusion. Who was that? 

"L! Baby! Wake up for me!"

"Light?"

L didn't understand what was happening. That voice sounded like his husband, but when he was *young*... L glanced at Light, his confusion morphing into panic when Light faded away. L reached out his hand, screaming at Light to just stay with him. The sky turned white and suddenly he heard beeping noises. The smell of lavender was replaced by harsh chemicals and bleach. 

"LIGHT!"

Light grabbed his husband and stroked his face. "Wake up! L, wake up! I'm not leaving you! I'll never leave you! Wake up, Baby, I'm right here" Light's voice cracked with pain. L sounded *distraught* whatever he was dreaming about terrified him. Was his husband dreaming he was once again Beyond's pet? Or was J pulling his teeth and making him scream in terror. 

'I'll chase the nightmares away, L. Come back to me' Light closed his eyes before he gently slapped L's face. 

At once, L's eyes snapped open, unfocused in terror and disorientation. Light held L's face between his hands and sternly ordered L to breath deep and look at him. It worked, for L took a shuddering breath and the glaze of confusion slowly ebbed from his eyes. 

"Li-Light?" L cautiously held out a trembling hand and Light took it in his own. 

"I'm here. I will never leave you, L, never again. I'm here."

L smiled tremulously and reached to touch Light's face. "I dreamt we were old and you vanished in front of me"

Light's eyes softened. With infinite tenderness he pulled L to him and pressed a kiss to his hair. "Never" he vowed softly. "You did it, L. The surgery was a success"

L grimaced. Right. The surgery. That was the reason why his head felt like it was filled with cotton and his chest was on fire. 

"I lived" L smiled dopily, sheer relief bringing a bright smile to light up his pale face. 

Light couldn't answer. He buried his face in his husbands neck and breathed him in. He shifted his head to lay gently against the bruised and tender area on L's chest. He felt tears fill his eyes at the strong and steady heartbeat he heard. 

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. 

His strong heart was *alive*


	48. Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L's feeling insecure and useless after his operation, not to mention he's missing sex! He asks Light to put on a show for him. Light happily obligies…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter than usual as it is a filler. I'm still deciding where to take the rest of this story, but I thought it would be cute and hot to include this!

Light hung the last garland up and stepped back to admire the Santa's Grotto that had once been his living room. He was determined to make this Christmas special. It had been a few weeks since L had had his transplant and although his recovery was slow, he *was* recovering, and that was the main thing. This Christmas was their first as a family, and Light was going all out. He knew how much L loved Christmas and he wanted everything to be as perfect as could be, hence the vast array of garlands, lights, scented candles and Christmas ornaments dotted around the house. 

L was currently sound asleep in his chair, mouth open and a thin string of drool hanging down his chin. Light smiled at the sight of him and quietly tiptoed past to enter the kitchen. L had been asleep for a few hours, his tiredness a side effect from the numerous medication he was taking, and Light was loathe to wake him. 

Light checked the baby monitor and smiled at his sleeping children. It was their very first Christmas. Obviously they were too little to know what it meant, but that didn't stop Light buying them a small mountain of presents each, not to mention several Christmas themed baby grows. 

Light poked his head back into the lounge when he heard L start to mumble. It was a sure sign he would wake up soon. He put a pan on the stove to warm some milk. Hot chocolate was sure to put a smile on his husbands face. 

Just as he was sprinkling marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles on L's cream, he saw his sleepy husband slouch into the kitchen, as if he had been magically summoned by the prospect of sugar. 

"Mmm, thank you, Light" L gratefully accepted his sugary concoction and sat down at the kitchen table. 

"I've baked cookies too"

"Oh god, Marry me" L moaned around a mouthful of marshmallows. 

"I already did"

"Marry me again" L grinned. He had woken up to a house full of lights and sweet smells and he was touched by how much effort his husband had put into it. He knew Light was going all out for Christmas this year and it made him fall in love with his sweet husband all over again. 

"Anytime, Baby" Light placed a plate of gingerbread in front of him. L felt his stomach flutter with the butterflies people only felt when the one they loved said something so simple but so breathtakingly beautiful. 

They drank their drinks in companionable silence, broken by Naomi's keening wail. 

"I'll go see to the little madam" Light dropped a kiss to L's head as he saw the slight grimace that crossed his husband's face. "You'll be back on your feet in no time, Baby. And until you are, you just sit down and enjoy being pampered"

L had to smile at that. "Oh, so the pampering stops when I'm better?" He asked with a small pout. They both knew that wasn't the case at all.   
As Light went to see to their daughter L tried not to think about how *useless* he felt at the moment. If he wasn't sleeping, he was yawning and in between sleep he had a mini pharmacy of medication to shove down his throat. Sex was nonexistent, he simply didn't have the strength for it, even if he ached to be with his husband. 

"Stupid fucking heart" L muttered sourly. "Stupid fucking Beyond and his stupid fucking Arsenic" it wasn't often he indulged in self pity, but as he listened to his husband see to their children alone (again) he just had to. 

He wanted things to be how they were before! He wanted to be able to walk up the stairs without panting for breath. He just wanted to shag his husband, god dammit! 

'All I want for Christmas' began playing and L grimaced. He hated that bastard song. He slowly got up from the table and walked over to the radio and switched it off, a small smirk of amusement on his lips as he thought: 'All I want for Christmas is to shag my husband!'

Light soon appeared back downstairs, now wearing a shirt that had been anointed with vomit. 

"I'm sorry, Love" L sighed, reaching to help his husband shrug out of his shirt. The sight of those ripped abs and brown nipples sent a ripple of lust through him and L had to look away. 

"It's fine" Light scrunched it up into a ball and chucked it in the washing machine. "She went straight back to sleep the second she threw up all over me. No wonder she's named after Massacre!"

L giggled and stepped closer to his husband, wrapping his arms around him from behind and kissing his neck. He felt the shiver than ran through Light and held him tighter. 

"I miss sex" L sighed into Light's neck. "And don't tell me 'it's fine' and that you don't miss it, Light, because we both know that's a lie"

Light twisted in L's arms so he could return his embrace. He clutched L to him tightly and kissed his forehead. "Yes, I miss it. Yes, I wish we could but your health comes first-"

"Comes" L snorted at the unintended double entendre. "At least something gets to come"

"Brat" Light admonished with a soft pat to L's ass. "The Dr said we need to wait at least three months before we can engage in any strenuous activity that speeds up your heart rate, Baby. Until then, it's blue balls for the both of us"

"You can still jerk off though" L sighed forlornly. He was pissed off he couldn't even do *that* if he was honest. He was 28 years old and all but celibate for the foreseeable future. It was quite a blow, and not the good kind. 

"I promised you I wouldn't do that, though" Light pulled away slightly. L had practically demanded that he not masturbate because 'it wasn't fair since he couldn't do it' and though Light had thought it a bit childish and petty, he'd agreed to it to keep the peace. Had L changed his mind? Light's cock twitched at the possibility. 

"Urgh, I was just being a bitch. You can totally do that if you want to, you know." L went back to his chair and shoved a cookie in his mouth. "Seriously, knock one out for me"

Light sniggered and gave L an exaggerated wink, "Every one I knock out is for you, Babe"

L squirmed in his seat and shoved another cookie in his mouth. A flash of inspiration hit him. "Could you… could you maybe jerk off in front of me? That would be so hot…" 'Plus I'm feeling pretty insecure right now. Seeing how much you still want me would be awesome' L thought, hooking a finger in his mouth and gazing at Light intently. 

Light's eyes widened in surprise. That was new, not to mention thrilling. His cock *pulsed* in his pants and he found himself slowly nodding his head, one hand already drifting to his zipper. 

"I know it's strictly look but don't touch" L sighed as he sat back and cast Light a coy look, "Sadly. But I think I'd still enjoy seeing it and I know you will put on quite the show, won't you, Light?"

"Uh-huh" Light's brain was on standby as all his blood rushed south. He eased his slacks and boxers down and shivered at the sensation of cool air on his skin. His cock throbbed for attention and he moaned softly as he felt it fill and engorge with blood, becoming erect merely by having his husband's dark gaze on him. 

Light chuckled when L rummaged in the kitchen drawer and tossed him a tube of lube. He fumbled as he caught it and promptly began to slick his straining erection up, the lewd, wet noises sending his blood pressure rocketing. 

L was almost glad he was all but impotent at the moment, because if he wasn't he was certain he'd be sporting an erection the size of the Eiffel Tower at the sight of his husband slowly pumping his cock. 

"Mmm, L…" Light sighed. He resisted the urge to close his eyes and instead stared at his husband, hand moving slickly up and down his length. 

"What are you thinking about?" L leaned forward to watch as Light pulled his foreskin back and toyed with his sensitive cockhead. His hips bucked as he made little gasps, excitement rising with each pull. 

"You" Light breathed out shakily, "Always you. Your mouth, your lips… oh god, that *ass*..."

L smiled smugly, the ego boost was more than welcome at this point. "What are you imagining *doing* to me, Baby?"

Light's teeth caught in his lower lip as he spread his legs slightly, pumping faster now. "Bending you over this kitchen table and spreading your asscheeks. Eating you out and tonguing your hole until your squirming and begging for me to fill you up" Light broke off with a harsh pant as precome dtibled down his straining shaft, "Spreading your legs and pushing the tip of my dick inside you. Sinking into you inch by inch and, oh fuck, oh fuck, L!"

L's face was bright red with arousal and embarrassment. Light painted quite the graphic picture! 

"I'd fuck you so hard, Baby, I'd make you scream and come all over the table. Then I'd pull your hips back and pound into you and fill you up with come. Oh, fuck, L, i'm so close!"

Light threw his head back and came with a yell, come spurting out of him in thick jets and splattering onto the kitchen tiles. L's eyes drank it all in, from the way Light's tight abdominal muscles quivered to the subtle throbbing of his balls. 

Light stroked himself through it until he slumped back against the counter top, red-faced and panting. 

"Mmm, that was quite the show" L purred, eyes locked on Light's slowly softening cock. "I admit I've been feeling a bit insecure these last few weeks. Seeing *that* has certainly helped"

Light gulped for breath as he pushed himself off from the counter and went to his husband. "Why have you been feeling that way, Baby?" Light was thrilled and troubled by L's confession. Thrilled because L was willing to voice his concerns to him, but troubled because he didn't want his husband to feel insecure. Not after all he had been through. 

"It's not exactly fair on you, Babe"

"Baby, stop. It's just the way things have to be for a while! You know I'd never cheat on you or… well, do anything to hurt you. No sex for a few months sucks, but it's not forever. Besides, think how hot it's going to be when we are given the green light" Light pulled L in for a wet, open mouthed kiss, trying to put all of his desire and longing for his husband into the kiss. It must have worked because L crushed him hard against him and kissed him senseless. 

"So whenever I want another show like that…?" L smiled coyly. 

"All you need to do is ask" Light nipped at L's lip and sucked on it, enjoying the small squirms his actions caused. "Because I will never stop wanting you, Baby, and I would wait forever to have you again"

L rested his head against Light's shoulder and placed a gentle kiss to his neck. He believed him. The next 8 weeks might be hard, but his Light would be by his side and helping him through it. That was all that mattered to L. 

*******************

 

Christmas Eve found the family congregation on L and Light's sofas as gifts were exchanged and alcohol was consumed. Christmas music blared out and the scene was the very picture of festive family fun. Raye Junior was sleeping with the twins in the nursery and the dogs were having a ball ripping the wrapping paper to shreds. 

"Oooh! L! This one is for you!" Mello passed L a large parcel. "From Lighty"

L shot Light a confused look. He'd already opened his two small gifts from Light and they had agreed to save the rest for the morning. So what was this gift all about? 

"Open it, Babe"

L tore off the wrapping paper and felt tears blur his vision. Light had commissioned a canvas that had L, himself, the family and the twins. In the center of the picture was a heart and the words: 'You are our everything, StrongHeart'

"This is so beautiful" L sniffed. "I'll hang it in my office. Thank you, Light"

"More champagne!" Naomi grabbed a bottle and filled everyone's glasses. "To L kicking ass!"

L smirked as his family drank a toast to him and took a sip of his champagne. Between the Christmas music, presents and just the bright faces of those he loved all around him, he decided he had never had a better Christmas than this one. 

"Merry Christmas, Baby" Light leaned in for a kiss, dangling a bit of mistletoe in front of him. L plucked the mistletoe out of his hand and smashed his mouth against his husband' in a passionate kiss. 

"Merry Christmas, My Light"


	49. Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh... L and Light screw 💁😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L gets his Christmas wish granted! 😍

After Christmas came New Year, and after that, L's first major check up since his transplant. On the drive to the hospital his nerves were obvious and Light couldn't offer him much support because he was just as bad. 

The twins were sleeping peacefully in their car seats, and L drummed his fingers against the dashboard in obvious irritation. The traffic was horrendous, even though they had set off twenty minutes early. Light glanced at him and quietly reached an arm out, hand encircling his husband's thigh. 

"They better tell me we can have sex today" L muttered darkly, "if they don't, I'm going to go full on crazy and chop my dick off"

Light barked out a startled laugh and that seemed to ease the tension. L grinned at his laughing husband before laughing himself. 

"Please don't do that, Baby, I'd really miss it" Light giggled, "You've been doing so well, Babe, I can't see why we can't. Ugh… if we do get the green light then you'd best prepare yourself now, because I fully intend on making up for lost time!"

L smiled at the thought. Suddenly he felt much better about the upcoming appointment, not to mention excited about the possibility of some hot sex in his near future! 

"Whatever happens, Baby, I'm here with you. We all are" Light glanced back via the mirror and smiled at the sight of his sleeping children. 

"I know. I'm so lucky to have you" L reached into the glove box and shoved a handful of Haribo Starmix in his mouth. As always, the sugar calmed him. "If we *can* have sex, I really want you to fuck me two ways from Tuesday, Light"

Light's grip on the steering wheel tightened and a fetching flush swept up his neck. "I can assure you, L, that is a distinct possibility"

"We could ask Naomi to mind the kids?" L smiled at the thought, "I'd want *no* interruptions"

"Definitly" Light panted, his jeans already feeling a bit tight at just the thought of uninterrupted sex with his husband. 

L sat back with a smirk. Light was so easy to rile up, not that that was a bad thing. That flush creeping up Light's neck was adorable. 

The traffic finally seemed to be clearing and before they knew it they had arrived at the hospital. 

"Well, here goes…" Light reached for L's hand and squeezed it. 

L squeezed back, grateful for the support. "Let's just get this over with, Babe"

30 minutes later, Naomi Penbar recieved an ecstactic phone call. 

"Hoe! Guess what?"

Naomi smirked at the greeting. She finished chopping Junior's veggies for his lunch and propped her phone against her ear. 

"What is it, Darling?" She cooed. 

"My body has accepted the heart! I'm healthy again! I can have *sex* again, Naomi!"

Naomi snickered. "And I am guessing there's going to be a 'Please can you watch the kids for a few days?' coming soon?"

"A few days?! Hell yes. Could you? Please?!"

Naomi debated on teasing him and saying no, but after three months of no sex she decided she wouldn't appreciate such a thing. Besides, Raye was on annual leave and between the both of them she was certain they could manage the children for a few days. L and Light deserved a break. 

"On one condition" Naomi finally answered in a mock stern voice, "You and Light book yourself into a swanky hotel for a few nights and don't leave the room until your completely snagged out. Deal?"

"Oh my god, I love you!" L sounded euphoric, "Oh, but will you manage with Truce as well, Babe?"

Naomi shrugged, "Sure. Our fur ball will love it. Drop the kids and the mutt off to us tonight. I'll text the others the good news, *you* look up a hotel"

"Thank you so much, Naomi. You are easily the best friend ever"

"Mmmhmm, I know" Naomi blew a kiss into the phone, "You just have fun, Sweetie. You deserve it. Might want to stretch your asshole a bit before-"

"I'm going now, you bitch! Love you, Bye!" L yelled over her loudly and hung up. Naomi burst into laughter and shook her head. 'What an idiot' she thought fondly. 

Junior toddled into the kitchen and gazed up at her. 

"Baby, how do you feel about your cousins staying for a few days?"

Raye Junior's eyes widened. "Truce too?"

"Yes, Truce too"

"Yay!" Little Raye clapped his hands adorably. Naomi picked him up and placed tender kisses to his chubby face. She was filled with love for her miracle boy. She believed he was the reason she had beaten cancer. He was an unexpected gift, and the best thing that had ever happened to her. The next best thing walked into the kitchen and gave her a warm smile. 

"Raye, Baby, we're going to have our hands full for a few days" Naomi smiled sweetly as Raye sighed knowingly. 

"L's got the all clear?"

"Yup"

"So they're palming the kids off on us for a few days so they can go screw each other senseless?"

"Yup" Naomi chirped. 

"Great" Raye muttered, a small smile on his face despite him being less than thrilled at the prospect of a houseful of kids. "Suppose I should go and watch the match now while I still have the time-"

"Hah! Good one. Laundry, Mr. You've got a pile of puke covered linen waiting for you"

Raye muttered a dejected 'yes dear' and made his way to the laundry room. 

"Then we can watch it together, okay?" Naomi called after him, "Junior will wear his shirt too"

Raye brightened at that. Family life wasn't so bad after all… 

*********************

As soon as the hotel room door had closed, Light shoved L up against it and kissed him with months of pent up passion. It was so intense it made L's knees wobble, but he had no fear of falling. How could he fall with the solid weight of Light's body pressing him against the wood? Instead, he wound his arms around his husband's neck and gave as good as he got, arching up into Light as Light ground their groins together. Both were hard and pulsing in their jeans, and neither expected their first time together to last long. No matter, they had the next two days to have their fill of uninterrupted sex! 

Light was tugging off his jumper and L belatedly lifted his arms to help. Light screwed it up into a ball before tossing it aside, hands already reaching to cradle L's face as he kissed him passionately once more. Clothes were shed between frantic kissed until they naked and writhing on the bed, mouths still locked as their hands roamed across each others skin. 

"Lube" Light tore away from L and began a frantic search for it while L panted for breath. His neck and chest were already beginning to bruise lilac from the frantic love bites and sucks Light had littered him with. His heart pounded strongly and the blood coursed through his veins. As sweat dripped down his forehead L was struck by how *healthy* he was now. He was alive. He and Light were finally going to have sex! 

"Got it!" Light lifted up the bottle in triumph. "Roll on your side, Baby, I want to watch your face as I finger you"

L's blood pressure skyrocketed at the words and he promptly flopped onto his side, doing his best to resist the urge to just take his throbbing dick in hand. He squirmed slightly as it twitched against his stomach in excitement but he otherwise remained still. 

The bed dipped and Light sank down next to him, fingers already glistening with lube. Wordlessly, he lifted one of L's legs over his and teasingly trailed his fingers over L's balls and perineum. L's squirming intensified and Light groaned softly at the sensation of L's hole clenching with need. 

*Relax, I've got you. I'm going to make you feel so good" Light cooed, fingers drifting further back to circle the tight entrance. "Just keep looking at me with those beautiful eyes of yours"

L couldn't look away even if he wanted to. Face contorted with passion but absolute tenderness in those stunning eyes, Light was like a vision to him. Light blinded him. 

L tried to ignore the slight sting as the first finger breached him and he clung to Light's shoulders, reading the reassurance in his husband's gaze. Light took his time, gently thrusting the single digit in and out until L let out a soft sigh and rocked against him. 

"More?"

"More" L moaned, cock leaking precome and hips rocking. "Need it so bad"

"I know, I know" Light pressed a kiss to L's hair before he pressed another finger inside. Again he kept up the slow, precise pace until L was panting breathlessly, legs twitching with each sweep of his fingers over his prostate. 

"Mmmn! Light! Hah! Aaaah, Pl-please" L latched onto Light's neck and bit into it to smother his pleasured moans. That was game over for Light. He swiftly inserted a third finger and began to rub his weeping erection against L's. Both hissed sharply at the contact, aware how close to the edge the other was. 

"Fuck" L whimpered, having to grit his teeth against the onslaught, "Light, I'm so close"

Light immediately released him and withdrew his fingers. "Not yet" he murmured, hefting himself over L's straining body so he spooned behind him. "I need to be inside you" without missing a beat, Light lifted one of L's legs and draped it over his own. He lined himself up and pressed a wet kiss to L's ear before whispering "I'm going to fuck you now, Baby. It's going to be hard"

"Yes" L would have been ashamed of the desperate whine in other circumstances, but it had Light sprung to hear the raw *need* in his husband's voice. He lined his cock up against L's hole and slowly sank inside. 

"Ah! God, Light" L yelped, his breath hitching in his throat. The stretch stung but damn had he missed the feeling. He panted hard, feeling dizzy as he accepted Light into his body. 

"Mmm, so good. Fuck, I've missed this. You feel so good" Light's hips twitched as he forced himself to remain still. He could tell by the tenseness in L's back he was adjusting to him. He pressed tender kisses down the ridges of L's spine and stroked his leg until L quivered beside him, the vice like grip of his body loosening as he relaxed. 

"Okay for me to move?"

"Yes" L squeezed his eyes shut against the overwhelming sensations sweeping through him. Light rocked his hips gently and L cried out harshly. He found himself gritting his teeth again when Light smoothly fucked into him, steadily increasing in pace and momentum. L tipped his head back and Light's lips descended to feast on his neck as they rocked together. 

"Light, please-"

Light thrust faster and L quivered, his mouth hanging open as he panted sharply. He was so close already

"Babe, I need to come" Light groaned lowly against his ear, "Fuck, I need to come so bad"

"Yes, do it. Oh fuck" L let out a sharp wail as Light made good on his promise and fucked him hard. The sound of Light's grunts in his ear as he thrust and the repeated jabs against his prostate sent L reeling. He screamed Light's name and jolted in his arms, come shooting from him as he was gripped by one of the most intense orgasms of his life. So good was it, that when Light returned his raptouress cries and filled him up with warmth, L wasn't even aware of it. He trembled violently as the aftershocks hit hard, and it was only when Light was stroking his hair out of his face and mumbling his name did he come back to earth. 

"Baby…? L! Are you alright?"

L numbly nodded his head, a flush of embarrassment sweeping across his cheeks. "Sorry… you… just fucked me to high heaven I think" L finally panted in reply. 

Relief washed over Light's face and he snuggled against his back, loathe to withdraw from that tight sheath just yet. Maybe they could take a quick cat nap before doing it again? 

They did have a lot of lost ground to recover, didn't they? 

"L, are you sleeping?"

"Mmm"

Light smiled and somehow managed to press closer, "You're so special, do you know that?" He cooed. 

"Mmhhmm" came the sleepy response. 

Light snorted softly and nuzzled into L's neck. "This is only going to be a quick cat nap, Babe, I've got plans for that ass of yours"

L cracked an eye open, sleepiness momentarily forgotten. He liked the sound of those plans. 

"But first, sleep" Light shifted, a small thrill of pleasure shooting through him as his husband unconsciously tightened around his dick. "L…" Light said warningly, eyes flickering with pleasure when L scooted back closer to him. 

"I'm sleepy but I want you again" L mumbled in explanation. 

Light's eyes lit up at the challenge. He flexed his hips and rocked in and out gently, eyes drifting down to watch L's delicate pale toes curl in pleasure. 

"Ahhh, Light, so good" L moaned, sleep fast becoming a secondary need as Light fucked into him gently. Aided by his come as well as the lube, Light slipped in and out, able to last much longer now he'd taken the edge of his lust. 

"No sleep" Light declared with a lustful pur, "Just sex"

As Light flipped him into the back and pushed back inside, L decided that was suddenly a very good idea indeed…


	50. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The parents of L's heart donar come for a visit and Naomi teaches L that scars are nothing to be afraid of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family fluff and L being naughty. I love it 😍

The twins had just turned six months old when Light had his first proper yield of grapes. L was delighted as Light bounced around the house, declaring his orchard was amazing and the wine he made was going to be the *best* ever. 

It was so touching to see the excitement and passion in his husband's eyes again. L sat up straighter and asked him all about the yield, how long Light was planning on fermenting the grapes for and every little thing he could think of. While it was true he didn't share his husband's passion for growing grapes and harvesting them, he *did* have a passion for wine so that was basically the same thing as far as L was concerned. 

The vineyard made Light happy and he and Naomi got great wine out of it. Everyone was a winner! 

"Thank you, L, I mean it. Without you I wouldn't have been able to even think about owning my own vineyard" Light pressed a kiss to L's cheek, "I'm going to make a special vintage ready for your thirtieth! I've worked out the ingredients and branding and I'm going to start on it as soon as the harvest is gathered this year!"

L liked the sound of that! "Oooh, what's it going to be called? When can I try it?"

"On your thirtieth, and I'm not saying" Light chuckled at the small pout on L's lips. 

"Aw! But that's another year and a half away, Light!"

"Good things" Light quoted, knowing his husband wouldn't shut up about his special birthday wine until he had at least *some* details about it. Sure enough, L trudged after him into the kitchen. As Light began making a simple stir fry for lunch, L hovered by his side asking questions. 

"Red or white?"

"Red" Light bit back a smile as L nodded approvingly at him.

"Are you selling it wholesale or just locally? Or are you not selling it at all and making it *just* for me?"

Light paused in his task. He had to be careful here because he didn't want to spoil too much. "Wait and see" he hedged, knowing L would *never* just do that. When L wanted answers he wanted them *now*

"Light, no, tell me now. Please?"

'God damn him, he's using those darn puppy dog eyes' Light felt his resolve wavering. When L stepped up to him and wrapped his arms around Light's waist from behind it was game over. 

"Fine! It's called StrongHeart Wine and, urgh, I wanted to sell it as a charity product to fund research into heart conditions in your name! Dammit, L, it was *supposed* to be a surprise!"

L's grin was infectious and Light found himself smiling despite himself. It was impossible to keep anything from L. He'd either use his detective skills to hunt out the truth, or, even more effectively in Light's opinion, use the damn puppy dog eyes on his husband. 

"That is *amazing* Baby!" L nuzzled his shoulder, "I'm so proud of you!"

Light melted and ignored the stir fry in favor of turning in his husband's arms so he could kiss him. "I know not everyone could have done what we did. I want to try and help other people who might find themselves in our situation and… well, I know how kind and generous you are, so I knew you'd like the idea. It will be your very own charity"

"Ours" L corrected with a kiss to Light's nose, "And I love it. Thank you, Light"

"You're welcome" Light yelped as the smell of burning noodles hit his nose. He managed to rescue the stir fry and soon had it dished up. They sat and ate lunch together, chatting about idle things until an excited Matt burst in through the kitchen door. 

"Guess what?!"

"Matt, you know how I hate people who say guess what then actually expect people to guess" L grumbled good naturedly around a mouthful of noodles, "Had lunch? There's plenty spare if you want some"

Matt, who never said no to free food (even if he *had* already eaten lunch) loaded up a plate and joined them. "So, you know Mr and Mrs Pang?"

L and Light shared a look. Obviously they knew Mr and Mrs Pang, it had been their son's death and that had enabled L to live, nevertheless, they nodded politely. 

"I've been in touch with them this morning. Now that the official mourning period is over, they would like to come here to meet us all"

"Really?! Yes! That's wonderful" L's face lit up, "Light, we can invite your parents over and they can meet the whole family then"

Light smiled at the thought. His parents had emigrated to Greece to be closer to the grandkids, and even Sayu had chosen to finish her studies in the local university as a transfer student. It was wonderful to have his entire family together, and when L had bought his mother and father a smart little villa just down the road from theirs, Light had been touched at the gesture. 

"Tell them we would be delighted to have them stay with us" Light nodded his head, "and tell them… L and I will always be eternally grateful for their gift to us but do NOT tell them about StrongHeart wine! I want that to be a surprise for when they visit. Fuck, I'm going to have to speed up the branding and the website and the-"

L and Matt watched as Light hurriedly shoved another mouthful of noodles into his face before he rushed away to the office. 

"Yeah, he told me" L smirked at Matt's knowing look, "Why are you even surprised?"

"Tch, I'm not. I knew he'd end up telling you" Matt laughed softly, "He's *so* under the thumb"

"And you're not?" L teased. He spotted Mello rushing up the path and he slammed open the kitchen door. Privacy, it seemed, was a rare thing in this family. Perhaps that was one of the downsides of all living next door to each other. 

"Matt! Babe! There's a *huuuuge* spider in the garage!" Mello wailed, his eyes wide with horror. "Quick! Come get it out of there or I won't be able to finish my shabby chic chaise lounge!"

L smirked. Mello had apparently found his 'thing' in restoring old furniture (usually with Anton's carpentry skills) and, in his words, 'Zazzing' them up into unique pieces. His little business, 'Mello's Muses' was doing quite well. Raye and Naomi, and L and Light had already purchased a few pieces from him, and not just out of family support. Mello truly had an artistry for creating something new out of tired, old furniture. Mello had finally found his passion and it had changed him completely. He was happier, for one, and less prone to dramatic outbursts (much to Matt's joy) 

"Oh no! You tell me where he is, Babe, I'll get rid of him for yih" Matt was on his feet in an instant, chest puffed out product at the opportunity to show his boyfriend how brave and fearless he was. 

L rolled his eyes as Mello swooned like a damsel in distress about to be rescued and thought, 'And you say *Light* is the one under the thumb? Ha!'

"See you later, Babes!" Mello waved, leading Matt towards the garage where the 'huuuuuuge' spider lurked. 

"Fucking assholes" L chuckled. He glanced around the kitchen, a bit lost now everyone had left. He had no pressing cases to attend to, and Light would probably be holed up in the office for a bit. The children were being taken care of by a sweet old lady called Betty L and Light had recently employed (mainly because she reminded L of his own nanny, Isabelle) and even the dog had taken himself off to play with the others. 

"Huh" L did the dishes then stood around awkwardly. He wasn't used to not having anything to do. It made him feel a little anxious. He smiled evilly as an idea popped into his head. *That* sounded like something fun to do! 

He was going to go into the office and distract his husband! 

Stealthily, L sneaked towards the office (careful not to step on the one creaky floorboard) and slowly opened the door. Light was on the phone, rapidly talking about his dream logo and branding for 'StrongHeart'

"No, it has to be *blue* that's my husbands favourite color. That is non-negotiable-"

So preoccupied on the phone was Light he didn't even noticed as L snuck into the office and dropped to his knees. He stealthily crawled under the desk, moving slowly as to make no noise, and reached out to palm Light's cock through his slacks! 

"Aaah! Fuck!" Light jolted at the touch and L dissolved in giggles as Light stammered out that he'd stubbed his toe and for the marketing director to please continue. 

"Stop it" Light mouthed at L, even as he spread his legs, a tingle of excitement shooting through him as L squeezed his growing bulge. 

"No" L mouthed back, eyes sparkling with amusement. 

"Brat" Light tipped his head back with a sigh as L began to grind the palm of his hand against his rapidly hardening cock. 

"Did you just call me a brat, Mr Lawliet?"

"What?! No! I was talking to my… dog"

"Woof!" L yipped, his grin spreading from ear to ear as Light struggled to maintain his composure. He couldn't stop himself lifting his ass off the chair so L could yank his slacks down. In for a penny and all that. Besides, his naughty husband had got him *throbbing* and he knew well enough L would enjoy dealing with the consequences of his actions. 

As if to validate this, L let out a little moan at the sight of his husband's hard cock and shuffled forward to lap at the tip. 

Light hissed through clenched teeth and stared straight ahead at his desktop screensaver, his body reeling with pleasure as the marketing director continued to drone in his ear. 

"Ah, y-yes, I think that's a good idea" Light clamped his teeth down on his lip as his hips bucked forward, his cock sinking into that sinfully wet mouth. 

'Well, I guess I will just have to work harder, Light, you're still somewhat composed' L thought. He began to bob his head, cheeks hollowing as he sucked strongly. 

"Fuck!" Light whined softly, hips stuttering forward as he began to thrust in time with those toe curling sucks. 

"Mr Lawliet, if you are busy I can always call back?"

Light nearly groaned. He reached beneath the desk and grabbed onto L's head, jamming his dick forward as fast as he could. He was so close, just one or two more plunges into his husband's mouth and he'd-

L hummed, the vibrations tickling along Light's cock and tongued the weeping slit. Light dropped the phone and grabbed onto L's head as he came with a roar, come gushing out of him only to be swallowed down hungrily. 

"Mr Lawliet!"

"Ah! Fuck off, oh fuck, L! Oh damn!" Light twitched as the last of his come spurted out and slumped back down on his chair, dazed and utterly spent. 

"I will call you back. Gooday, sir" came the sniffy response. L pulled away from Light and they both burst into laughter as they heard the dial tone sound. 

"You… little monster!" Light gasped breathless with giggles and the after effects of that spectacular orgasam. "You just wait until the next time you're on the phone!"

L gave him a lopsided grin. They both knew Light stood a zero chance in sneaking up on him, still, it would be fun to let him *try*

"What was that about, not that I'm complaining" Light smiled as he stroked his fingers through his husband's hair. 

"I was bored" L gave an impish shrug, "and you know how much I enjoy having your cock in my mouth. That's a *great* way to pass the time"

Light moaned as he felt what he thought was his spent cock twitch in interest. "Betty is here for another two hours yet…"

"Time enough for you to bend me over the kitchen table and fuck me senseless?"

"Yes" Light jumped to his feet and giggling like giddy adolescents, they went hand in hand into the kitchen. Light closed the doors, L shut the blinds and then it was nothing but bliss… 

******************

Sachiko Yagami bustled about preparing her home for her esteemed guests. Due to two newborns and a noisy dog, she decided it would be more suitable for the Pang's to stay with her and her husband. Their villa was smaller than L and Light's, but it was quite too. She was confident the grieving couple would find solace and rest in her beautifully tended gardens. 

"Mum, stop fussing so much" Light smiled at the sight of her dashing about her kitchen to take one dish out of the oven and put another in, "They aren't due for another hour-"

"Light! That is no time at all! Goodness, will you at least make your mother a cup of tea instead of just sitting there"

"Yeah, Light, make your mother and your wonderful husband a cup of tea" L smiled smugly over to the top of his latest murder mystery novel. it seemed it avoided both L's and Sachiko's notice that L was doing exactly what Light was: namely sitting and doing nothing, but unlike Light, the smug bastard was getting away with it. 

"Of course, Mum" Light smiled sweetly, "Why don't you help, L?"

"Can't. I'm busy" L flipped a page of his book, a small smile curling his lip. Sachiko gutted at Light and branded him a 'lazy boy'

"Your husband has been through a lot, Light, at least allow him a moment's rest" Sachiko chided. 

L's eyes glimmered with amusement as he met Light's incredulous stare. 

"Yeah, Light, jeez" L nearly giggled aloud. Sadly, in walked Souichiro to ruin it all. He muttered a good morning and plonked himself down next to L. Light smirked at L because he knew L wouldn't be able to get away with his crap around his father.

"Morning, Dad" Light chirped, "Sleep well?"

"Not really. The old back is playing up" Souichiro gave a little grimace, hoping his wife would pick up on it and offer some sympathy. He was in for a disappointment, however, as she was too busy fussing over her Thai green curry. 

L smirked at his father in law's disgruntled look. "Well, you are getting on a bit now, pops" he couldn't resist the dig. Souichiro's eyebrows rose in surprise before his hackles went up. 

Light hastily stepped in between them, resigned to his role as peacekeeper yet again as his bratty husband rattled his father's cage. 

Naomi and Raye Junior's arrival proved enough of a distraction. Raye Junior was almost two, and he was a friendly little boy. He went around the room giving out hugs and kisses until Naomi picked him up, safely out of the way of pots and pans on the stove. 

"Anton and Yuri just text, their enroute to the airport with Matt and Mello" Naomi informed, "Curry smells great, by the way, Sachiko-San"

"Thank you dear" Sachiko's face lit up at the compliment. Her joy was short lived as the smoke alarm suddenly started blaring. It was decided for everyone's safety it was best to leave the kitchen as Sachiko rushed around opening windows and stressing her sweet little head off. When Souichiro tried to console her and tell her to calm down he had a tea towel over his head in response. 

Safely out of reach of Sachiko and her tea towel, they waited with growing excitement and impatience for their guests to arrive. Finally Matt's car pulled up on the driveway and L felt a flash of fear. He was about to meet the parents of the young man whose heart was now his own. It was a harrowing thought. They'd always seemed kind and gentle when he spoke to them online, but what if seeing him hurt them? 

"It will be fine. They are excited to meet you" Light picked up on L's unease and held his hand in his. Raye Junior had started colouring and seemed content to draw his mummy what he considered a dinosaur. Naomi shot L an encouraging smile as the doorbell rang. 

L decided it was best to get it over with. He walked ahead of the others and, after a deep breath, opened the door. 

Mr and Mrs Pang were fairly elderly and diminutive people. Their kind, tired faces lit up into smiles as they looked up at the young man before them. 

L bowed his head, overcome with emotion. Tears stung his eyes as Mrs Pang reached out for him and rested her head against his chest. 

"I hear it. I hear my Taoki's heart again!"

Naomi uttered a faint 'oh god' and had to turn away, choked up at the sight of a fellow mother's grief. She could only imagine how she must be feeling. Immediately she went to her own boy and pressed a kiss to his dark hair and prayed she would be spared the worst fate that could befall a mother. 

"Mr and Mrs Pang, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for calling off the auction and letting us have your son's heart" Light bowed his head at the couple, "It is a debt we can never repay. If you need anything, and I mean *anything* you need only ask"

"The money you paid for our dear son's heart is more than payment. My children can go to university and we have bought our house. For the first time in our lives we no longer have to worry where our next meal is coming from" Mr Pang took Light's hand in his and gave it a warm squeeze, "As a father and a husband I thank you for that. You've secured my family's future and out of the sorrow of losing my boy happiness has been found. Your dear husband is alive and well and I can provide for my family"

The Pangs were invited in and given time to unpack their things before Sachiko gathered the entire family together for dinner. Over food, the old couple delighted and saddened them with tales of their son's adventures and aspirations for the future. 

"Light, tell them about your idea" L mumbled into his husband's ear. 

Light began to talk about his 'StrongHeart' campaign and was embarrassed when Mrs Pang burst into wracking sobs. 

"That is such a wonderful thing to do! My boy would be so happy! It honors him, thank you so much"

Emotions seemed to be running high so Sachiko deftly pivtoed the conversation to the weather in Thailand and if her Thai green curry did theirs any justice. The Pangs assured her it was exquisite. 

After dinner Light took the Pangs for a tour of his orchards and explained his charity work in more detail, while L and Naomi took some time out by the pool. 

Over a glass of wine, Naomi asked L how he was coping with meeting the parents of the poor young man whose heart was now inside him. 

"It's surreal" L admitted, "Christ, Naomi, if you told me this was going to happen five years ago I would have laughed in your face"

Naomi smiled faintly. "Well, a lot has happened, Babe, I never expected to find my best friend in the foriegn detective who joined the met, and I'm pretty certain Light didn't expect to find his future *husband* either"

L snorted into his wine glass. That was true. Life had taken them on quite a journey, full of twists and turns, heartbreak and triumph. What had gotten them all through it was each other, L was certain of that. He and Naomi watched as Anton, Yuri, Matt and Mello began a game of pool volleyball that quickly escalated into an all out brawl. 

"Boys" Naomi tutted. "Why don't you go and play with them? You're good at pool volleyball"

L's eyes shifted to the side and Naomi sighed. Right, he was paranoid about the scars across his chest. 

"Does Light stroll around topless?"

L raised an eyebrow at the rhetorical question. Of course Light did, his husband took every opperunity to top up his tan.

"Is he concerned about what we think of his scars?" Naomi pressed. She had her own scars too, covered by hair, but present none the less. "They're war wounds and signs of strength, Babe, never think otherwise" Naomi suddenly reached over and yanked L's T-shirt over his head. L visibly ctringed as Naomi stroked the vivid purple scar on his sternum. "It's part of who you are now, L, don't hide from it" 

L looked down at his scar and tried to see the beauty Naomi was referring to. He couldn't see it. It was Light, always his Light, who *did* see it. 

Light and the Pangs had returned and upon seeing his husband topless Light couldn't help but stare hungrily. 

"Looking good babe" Light purred, eyes sweeping over L's chest. L blinked. It was like Light didn't even *see* his scar! But then, as he thought about it, Light's own scars were invisible to him. When he saw them he saw strength. Perhaps that was what his family saw too? The thought gave him courage. Fuck it. He had scars, so what?! 

"See" Naomi smiled smugly. She finished off her wine and gave L a little shove, "Now go and have some fun in the pool. Matt there is looking entirely too smug. Wipe the floor with him, Lawliet!"

L climbed into the pool and joined the fray, and soon his scars where the last thing on his mind. Naomi and Light watched him obliterate Matt's team and shared a fond smile. 

"He looks happy, Light" Mrs Pang drifted over to his side and watched the battle, "That makes me happy"

"Me too" Light smiled as Mello grabbed L and dunked him under the water in revenge for L's victory. 

As the family settled down, Light cracked open a few bottles of wine and they experienced a blissful afternoon under the hot Grecian sun. Excited shrieks rang out and the water splashed and Light closed his eyes, drinking it all in. 

He found himself daydreaming of when the children were a bit older. They could join in the water volleyball battles too. He imagined Naomi Jnr in a pink sun dress and his little man in a cute pair of swim trunks with little dinasaurs on them. 

He couldn't wait for that. Now that things were finally settled down, he and L could fully commit to their next great adventure: parenthood.


	51. Outback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light go on holiday to Australia. A lustful forray into the outback provides them with memories that will last a life time, not to mention embarrassment to last a lifetime... Well, a few days at least!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh L. You silly thing 😂😂😂

The saying 'Time flies when you're having fun' was true as far as Light was concerned. Time seemed to be flying at an alarming rate as the seasons changed and the twins grew. L had turned 29, he had turned 28 and the twins had recently turned 1 and were really coming into their own. What's more, the dawn of another new year was just around the corner! 

This year they had decided to experience Christmas and New Year differently. Yuri and Anton had tempted them into joining them in their camper van and exploring the Australian outback with them. At first, L hadn't been keen on the idea. As much as he loved Australia he was concerned about leaving his babies. Naomi was pregnant so he didn't want to ask her to look after the twins and Truce again, and he was concerned about leaving her too. She had come to rely on his massages when she had been carrying Raye Junior. Matt and Mello were off on their own adventures in Vietnam (not that he would let those assholes babysit again, not after discovering Matt placing pieces of ham on the babies faces and giggling like a maniac) 

Not to mention the logistics of finding someone to watch over the villas, the pets and the vineyard made L's head hurt. 

In stepped Sachiko Yagami. She insisted on looking after her grandchildren. She agreed with L that the outback was no place for children when Light had suggested taking the twins with them. 

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Sachiko had encouraged them. L was tempted to state that he'd actually been to Australia twice already but decided to keep his mouth shut. Sachiko was a saint for even offering to have the kids for three weeks. As a Grandmother she went above and beyond, because she had been the one to guide them through teething traumas, chronic vomiting, sleepless nights and fevers. Without her L and Light feared they would be utterly lost! 

So that was that. After much tears and fussing L and Light had dropped the children at Sachiko's and began their 'once in a lifetime' journey around Australia. 

Light smiled as he settled back in his deck chair, head tipped back as he soaked up the sun. L grumbled about 'bloody sun worshiping lizards' and sprayed more sun cream onto his rapidly reddening skin. 

"It's too fucking *hot*" L sighed as he scratched his skin. They'd only been in Australia for three days and he already resembled a lobster. Not for the first time did he lament his pasty skin. 

"It's beautiful" Light corrected, a big smile on his face as he stretched out his arms. 

L shot him a disbeliving glance and wished he could go back into the camper van. They had an unofficial arrangement going on, when they wanted 'private time' they slanted the mirror a certain way. L had spotted it slanted on his way out of the bathroom and had legged it. He did *not* want to listen to Anton and Yuri go at it, thank you very much. 

He and Light hadn't had sex in three days as L was a bit uncomfortable at the mirror slanting idea, but he was pining for his husband. If only Light would stop sunbathing for two minutes maybe he would see how badly L wanted him. 

He was grumpy, hot, sunburned and ridiculously horny. 

"Light!" L sat up as he had an idea. "There's a pool close by, let's go for a swim" L said temptingly. 

Light pulled down his sunglasses and gave L a frown. "Crocodiles?" he reminded. Besides, he didn't want to move. His skin was so warm and he was so relaxed. He was pretty certain he could just sit down here all day. He had L, a twelve pack of ice cold beer and the baking sun on his skin. That was all he needed. 

'God fucking dammit!' L slumped further into his seat and scooted it back into the fast disappearing shade of the camper. 'Fucking Australia and its plathera of fauna that can kill you' L grumbled to himself as Light let out a contented sigh and took a long sip of beer. 'Why isn't he missing sex like I am?' L wondered. He shuddered as he heard the faint cry of 'Oh yes! Ant! There!' and jumped to his feet. He could tolerate this no longer. He stormed over to Light and flatly demanded if he had lube on his person. 

Light, who actually did keep the habit of carrying lube around with him 'just in case' stared up at his husband and slowly nodded his head. 

"Good. We are going to find a secluded spot in the bush and you are going to fuck me on my hands and knees and make me come. Got it?!" L grabbed Light's arm and yanked him off his seat. 

Light spluttered in shock as L practically frog marched him over the dirt track to the patch of greenery in the distance. Not that he was complaining, obviously, but he was still a little confused as to where all this had come from. While it was true L sometimes instigated sex he'd never been so blunt or demanding about it before. 

"L!" Light stumbled after him, cock already hardening as he anticipated what was about to happen. 

L didn't reply as he looked around. Nothingness stretched for miles around. The small billabong he'd spotted looked deserted but now he'd had a chance to think about it he certainly wasn't going to risk a dip. The brush would make adequate cover and they were far enough from the van for privacy. 

L turned and abruptly jumped his husband, arms snaking around his neck as he crashed their mouths together. Light groaned and grabbed L's ass as his blood roared in his ears. If L wanted it hard and fast in the wild he was down for that! He tore his mouth away from L and sank to his knees, hands scrabbling to undo L's flies. 

L swayed where he stood as Light abruptly yanked his half-hard cock out and took it in his mouth. His toes curled and he arched forward, mouth hanging open in a gasp. 

"Oh fuck, Light" L whined, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and canting his hips. It seemed Light had been doing his homework and playing close attention to his techniques, because L soon found himself bucking his hips helplessly. 

"I'm gonna come!" L yelped in warning as his balls throbbed, "Light, fuck, suck me!" he tightened his grip and fucked his husband's face with increasingly frantic gasps as he came closer and closer to the edge. Light tongued his slit and sucked as hard as he could, groaning around his cock and L shattered apart. He came with a scream that echoed in the vast emptiness around them. Light chuckled around L's cock as he swallowed each bittersweet spurt of come. He'd had L shooting down his throat in just 2 minutes! That was a new record! 

Light sucked at the softening flesh until L's hips skittered away from him, too sensitive to tolerate much more. 

L panted for breath as he stared down at his husband. That had been brilliant and ferociously satisfying but it wasn't enough. He needed to feel that thick cock inside him. 

L fell to his knees and kissed Light, a thrill of pleasure shooting through him as he tasted himself on his husband's tongue. 

"I need you to fuck me" L was already yanking down his shorts and kicking them off, "Oh god, I need your cock so bad"

Light snapped to attention. He practically tore off his own cargo shorts and fumbled for the small tube of lube. If L needed his cock that badly then of course he would give it to him. His dick throbbed with excitement as he hastily slicked it up in preparation. 

Light settled behind L and pressed two slick fingers against his hole. L let out a shuddering breath and hung his head. On his hands and knees in the dirt, he felt wild and animalistic. He stuck his ass out like a bitch in heat and presented himself to his husband. Light fingered him as quickly as he could, eager to sink his cock inside that clenching hole. 

L wasn't as prepared as Light usually liked, but neither of them seemed to care. L whined for Light to fuck him and Light couldn't ignore that. He pushed against L's hole, felt the ring of muscle yield to him and then slammed inside with one hard thrust. 

L gave a guttural yell as he was roughly penetrated. He knew he would feel this for days to come but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He was slick enough and he knew he could take it. 

"Fuck me!" L yelled as Light's fingers curled around his hips. Light tightened his hold to a vice like grip, took a shuddering breath to steady himself, and then began to plunge in and out, hips snapping in a frenzy of lust as he lost himself in rutting. 

Their loud cries and grunts of passion rang out as Light fucked into L with everything he had. L knew his knees were bleeding and his back was burning but those uncomfortable sensations paled in comparison to the glorious sensation of having Light's cock slam inside him over and over again. 

"L! Fuck! Take it, fucking take my dick! Oh my god! Fuck, I'm so close!" Light panted into his ear, the fleshy sounds of their bodies colliding hightening their pleasure. 

L moaned out his encouragement as he rocked into his husband's erratic thrusts. He grit his teeth and hung his head against the onslaught of those punishing thrusts. His cock throbbed as it hung heavy and hard between his legs but L couldn't take himself in hand. Light was taking him like an animal and he was clutching at the earth and crying out for him to go harder and faster. L knew he wouldn't need any additional stimulation to come. The repeated jabs against his prostate was sending searing jolts of pleasure smashing through him. 

"L! L! I'm coming!" Light screamed out, voice breaking as he suddenly seized against his husband and spurted out his release. L *shrieked* at the feeling of Light's cock throbbing and pulsing inside him and followed suit, his hands scrabbling at the dry dirt as he came explosively all over the ground, his stomach and even his chin. It seemed endless as they tensed up and stilled in pleasure but eventually they began to descend from their highs. 

Light barely had time to pitch forward to catch L as he suddenly collapsed beneath him, his trembling arms giving out and body slumping to the floor. 

"Baby?!" Still shuddering from his own earth shattering release, Light pulled out and flipped L over. His breath came out in a gust of relief as he realised L had just passed out through pleasure. The puddle of come soaking into the dirt was huge and Light smiled smugly. He'd fucked L so hard that… he lost his smile. He'd fucked L so hard that his cock was tinged with blood. 

'Shit!'

Light whimpered in distress and called L's name again. L didn't stir. 

Panicked, he fumbled for his clothes and searched for his phone. As soon as he located it he dialed Anton. L's back was burning and there was blood and he was scared-

Light's hands shook as he pulled on L's clothes and wiped them off. Anton and Yuri were on their way and he could see the camper slowly coming towards him on the horizon. He couldn't help but cringe in embarrassment when Anton and Yuri finally pulled up and rushed towards them. 

"What happened? Did he get bitten by a snake? Has he got sunstroke?" Anton panted breathlessly as he ran towards them. 

"Um…" Light scratched the back of his head. His hair was matted to his skull with sweat and he really didn't feel so good… 

Light pitched forward, making Anton and Yuri yell his name in panic. It was only when they had carried L and Light on board and had the opportunity to examine the scene of the 'incident' did they realise what had happened. 

L and Light had exhausted themselves fucking in the midday heat. 

"Jesus fucking Christ" Yuri muttered as he slathered on after sun on an unconscious L's back. "These guys are idiots, Ant"

Anton simply sighed and nodded his head. "I know, Babe, I know. New plan. Let's hire another camper as soon as possible so they can have their personal space. Maybe shit like this won't happen again" Anton was already scrolling through his phone for camper van hire sites. Truth be told things *were* getting a little cramped anyway… 

****************

Two days later, L and Light lay in their own camper van. L's back (despite Yuri's prompt care) was starting to blister and they both felt utterly miserable. 

"That really wasn't our smartest idea" Light mumbled from his sprawl next to him. 

L grimaced and buried his head beneath his pillow. It was sweet Light was trying to take some ownership of his monumental fuck up, but he knew the blame lay squarely on his shoulders. 

"Light, that wasn't *my* smartest idea" L sighed tiredly, "I'm sorry. I just really wanted you…"

Light scooted closer. "It was really hot though, L. Seriously, I'm going to remember *that* for as long as I live!"

L perked up at the lecherous grin that flashed across his husband's face. 

"Me too. I am going to remember that when I'm *ninety*" L pressed a soft kiss to Light's neck. "I guess you could say we succeeded in making a life long memory? Wow. This trip really *is* a once in a lifetime kinda thing"

Light giggled at his husband and despite the pain of his burns, pulled him closer. They curled loosely together and sighed as the fan washed over their sweat slicked skin. L winced as a sharp pain shot up from his ass. Sex was definitly out of the question for a while. 

"L! Light, you guys decent?"

"Yeah" Light called back. He didn't move as Anton and Yuri climbed into their camper. Now that the dust had settled they sniggered at their friends sorry, self-inflicted state. 

"Oh shut up" L muttered as Yuri laughed outright at the scabs forming over his knees. 

"We came to ask if you want some food, you know, since you are both too incapacitated to cook for yourselves" Anton snickered as he looked over the pitiful forms of his friends. He suspected they both probably thought the pain was worth it. In fact, he *knew* Light was thinking that as he had a dreamy, leery smile on his face. 

"Yes" L moaned, "Feed me. I'm dying. Make me food please"

"Tch, such a brat" Yuri tutted as he grinned at his boyfriend, "Fine. You two just lay there and suffer and we will go make you some food. Pasta salad okay?"

"Extra olives and garlic" Light muttered in response. 

Yuri and Anton rolled their eyes and left them to it. Hopefully their misdemeanor wouldn't affect their entire holiday because they still had so much they wanted to do. 

**************

Another two days passed and L could finally walk without limping and his back had healed up enough for him to tolerate a shirt again. They shared sheepish smiles whenever their friends teased them about their 'wild outback experience' but neither could bring themselves to regret it. 

Sat on a beach and watching the kaleidoscope of colours play across the sky, L sighed in bliss and reached for Light's hand. Light reached for his and sent his husband a soft smile. 

"Good trip, Baby?"

L grinned. He wasn't sure if that was how he would describe their adventures down under but it was certainly memorable! 

"It won't be a good trip until tomorrow" Yuri toasted with his beer, "Queensland zoo is going to be amazing"

L settled back into his chair and thought about his children. He felt a pang of longing hit him and he reached for his phone. Surely it couldn't hurt to check in on Sachiko and Souichiro again, could it? 

"Baby" Light gently plucked his phone from his hand. "Mum said the kids are fine. Naomi is fine. Matt and Mello are fine and Truce is fine. Stop stressing and try to relax, okay?"

L sighed and nodded his head. It seemed to having a family was the cure to his globe trotting ways. As much as he loved traveling the world and seeing the beauty all around him he was anxious to get home. His world was centered on those two little souls, his dark eyed Naomi Junior and his radiant little Light Junior. 

'The next time we go on holiday we will take the children with us' L decided. He sipped at his beer as he imagined the children, a little older than they were now, running across the sand dunes of Cornwall. 

He turned to Light with a smile. "Babe, I'm choosing our next holiday, okay?"

Light simply leaned forward and kissed him. "Of course, Baby, whatever you want"

"Oh my god, you two are sickening" Anton chuckled as he handed out the burgers he'd been tending to on the BBQ, "Never change"

"We won't" L and Light announced together. L was reminded about Light's promise to love him forever. Forever seemed like a long time but he knew Light would keep his word because they were simply *meant* to be together…


	52. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the anniversary of when L and Beyond first met and L struggles with his emotions. Instead of talking about it with Light, he decides to get drunk instead (insert eye roll here)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh L, you silly bean! 😂 Light is the sweetest ever. Everyone needs a Uturn Light in their life! (Luckily for me, I do ❤) 
> 
> I wrote this based on real life events between me and my girlfriend. I got drunk instead of actually talking about stuff 🙄🙄🙄 She was thankfully really sweet and understanding like Light was. Phheeewww!

It had been a few weeks since they had returned home from their Christmas and New Year trip to Australia, and L found himself feeling strangely restless. Light was spending an increasing amount of time out in the Vineyard and Betty was looking after the children. With no pressing cases that interested him, L had to admit he was a bit bored. 

He'd never really had the luxury of being bored. There was always a case to solve, or something that needed doing, or a psychotic ex to keep him on his toes… 

Not that L missed *that* because he certainly didn't but… 

He wasn't sure what to do with himself. He clean the Villa from top to bottom, made dinner and even began sorting through the loft before he realized what the matter was. 

Today would have been his and Beyond's 10th anniversary. He had been with Light for 5 years but before Light Yagami came into his life he had always assumed he would stay with Beyond, despite everything… 

It was ten years to the day when he and Beyond got together. 

L slumped down onto the floor and buried his head in his hands, unable to stop the sting of tears that pricked his eyes. He tried not to think about Beyond. He had said his goodbyes and had tried to move on but he wasn't a machine. He couldn't just turn his feelings off. The fear and the love he still felt for that man haunted him. 

There were times when Light would smile at him a certain way, or hold him close and L would feel, for just a moment, a cold chill run down his spine. Light reminded him of Beyond in many ways. They both possessed the same feline grace, they were both tall, smart and strong and they both were tenacious when it came to getting what they wanted… 

"Was" L softly corrected himself. "Beyond *was* like Light. He is gone now…"

But gone did not mean forgotten. Now that L had identified why he was feeling so anxious and restless he could think of little else but Beyond. 

He pushed himself up from the floor and decided he would go visit Matt and Mello. He needed a distraction. When he arrived at their house he realized they must be out since their car wasn't there. He sighed as he remembered Mello saying something about dragging Matt off to a modern art museum. 

'Dammit' L thought. He couldn't go bug Anton and Yuri since those two were working and calling on Raye and Naomi was out of the question as well. Naomi's parents and sister were visiting and they had all gone out for the day for lunch and a trip to the water park. 

"Fuck sake" L cursed softly. He didn't want to bother Light either. He knew if he called him Light would drop everything and come running, but the launch of 'StrongHeart' wine was fast approaching and his husband was rushed off his feet. He didn't need any distractions. 

L slumped against Raye and Naomi's front door. That left him with only one other option. Visit Souichiro and Sachiko. He knew they were probably home but he really didn't fancy putting up with Souichiro's shit today. He just wasn't in the mood. 

L glanced at his watch. Light wouldn't be due back until six and Betty was looking after the kids for another three hours… 

'Fuck it then, I'm getting drunk' L decided. He'd go home, open a bottle of wine and read a book. That should prove enough of a distraction… right? 

********************

Light was soaked in sweat, tired and hungry but he was euphoric. The yield had been even better than he had hoped for. He thanked his team and rushed to get back to L to tell him the good news. 

Maybe they could even crack open some champagne to celebrate? L had been increasingly quiet and… off lately. Light had chalked it down to stress since his husband had tore through a backlog of cases with a relentless ferocity. Now that he had finished them all Light hoped he was taking some time out to relax. 

"Funny… he hasn't messaged me all afternoon" Light mumbled as he glanced down at his phone. They were always sending sweet little messages back and forth during the day when they were apart. To not hear anything from L was concerning. 

He drove home as fast as he could and let himself in. Betty was in the kitchen preparing the last bottles for the children. Light could tell at once something was wrong by the look on her face. 

"What's happened, are the kids okay? Where is L?" Light questioned her. 

"The kids are fine but L… well, Light, he isn't in a very good way. Something's been eating at him for days and this afternoon he comes home, locks himself in the library and has drank three bottles of wine-"

"What?!" Light yelped. That wasn't like L at all. What the hell was he thinking? There went his plans of a relaxing bath then. "I'm so sorry, Betty, would you mind staying to watch the kids while I see what the matter is?"

Betty smiled. She liked working for L and Light and she knew in her heart something was troubling L. She assured Light she would stay as long as she was needed and returned to the children with their feed. Light, with a feeling of trepidation, went down to the library. 

He would get to the bottom of it, but he knew he would have to be cautious. L was drunk and emotional and probably not even in a fit state to communicate properly to begin with. He would just have to try and get him to eat something and get him to bed. They would talk about it in the morning. 

"L?" Light gently knocked on the door. "It's me. Open the door would you?"

Light heard a muffled sob. His heart throbbed at the sound and he banged on the door. "Let me in *NOW!*"

Movement, uncoordinated and sluggish, but finally Light heard L reach the door and take off the latch. The sight of his husband, red-eyed, tears down his face and disheveled beyond belief struck him hard. 

"L!" Light rushed to enfold him in his arms, "What's happened? Why have you locked yourself in and…" Light winced. The stench of the wine hit him hard. While L had always liked a glass of wine with Naomi he had never been one for getting flat out drunk. Light had never seen him in such an intoxicated state and he wondered how L was even able to stand up right. 

"I'm so shorry" L slurred into Light's chest, "I've just had a really shitty day"

"... L, what's going on?" Light tightened his hold as L leaned heavily against him. 

"Is B" L mumbled, on the verge of sleep. Now that Light was holding him things weren't so bad. His churning mind seemed to find some sense of relief as he breathed his husband in. 

"B…?" Light frowned. "Beyond?"

"Anniversary" L sighed. He rambled on into Light's chest instinctively but Light did pick out: "10 years, Light. Long time…"

Since L seemed incapable of speaking in complete sentences, Light was struggling to follow what he was saying but he could understand that. He did the math in his head and realized that yes, today marked ten years to the day since L had began dating Beyond Birthday. 

No wonder he was such a mess. 

"Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you get hold of someone to talk to about this, L?" Light fretted over whether this blip would negatively affect L's mental health. He had been doing so well the last year. He'd even been weaned off his anti-anxiety meds… 

"Everyone was busy" L protested, "I didn't want to disturb you"

"Baby, I'm your husband. It's my job to comfort you. I would have left everything and come to you, you know that" Light sighed and ran his fingers through L's hair. 'Stubborn idiot' Light thought fondly. 

"I love you" L swayed where he stood. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

"Yes, Babe, you are. However, you are *my* idiot and I love you. Come on, I want to get you in the shower and sober you up a bit"

L didn't protest as Light looped his arm around his neck and picked him up. He didn't protest as Light ran a shower and scrubbed him. He drifted in hazy memories of red eyes, violent fantasies and sweet, whispered words. The past and the present warped and twisted together until he wasn't sure where he even was anymore. 

Light dried him off and made sure he ate a big bowl of pasta, even though L really didn't want any. L didn't bother to argue when Light firmly told him he was going to eat it and that was that. 

Two glasses of water and some aspirin later, Light decided L somewhat resembled a human being again. He tucked him into bed and went to relieve Betty. The children were fast asleep and comfortable, so Light turned on the baby monitor and returned to L. 

"Light"

Light sighed. He was really hoping L would be asleep by now. Nonetheless, he stripped and climbed into bed, pulling his husband close. A thrill of arousal shot through him as he felt how hard L was. 

"Light, fuck me, I need you so bad!" L was grinding against him and it was so hot that Light forgot himself for a moment. He pushed L back into the mattress and attacked his neck with tongue and teeth before he pulled back with a jerk, finally realizing what he was doing and what state L was actually in. 

"Light!" L protested. He tried to sit up but ended up flopping back as the room span dangerously. 

"You're drunk. You can't consent when you're drunk" Light whispered hoarsely. He was better than Beyond and he loved L too much to even think about taking him in such a disorientated state. He tenderly stroked L's face to calm him. "You need to sleep, Baby, and then we will talk in the morning, okay?"

L squirmed and his face scrunched up in annoyance. In his drunken state he couldn't comprehend Light's respect for him and instead felt slighted his husband wasn't willing to fuck him. 

"But I want you!" He protested, a small whine in his voice as Light scooted away. 

Light considered his options carefully. L was volatile and emotional like this and he doubted he would fall asleep when he was so aroused and needy… a plan formed in his mind and Light leaned over to kiss his husband. 

"Baby, I'm very tired and your a little drunk, but I would *love* if you could show me how much you want me…" Light pressed another lingering kiss to L's lips, "Like I showed you how much I wanted you when you were sick? Remember?"

L's eyes darkened with lust. "I can do that" 

Light smiled and ran his eyes over L's chest and groin. He was naked and suddenly Light was ravenous to see everything. He would just deal with his own problem later once L was safely asleep. He helped L kick off the covers and even passed him the lube. 

Normally L would be a bit embarrassed when he asked to watch him jerk off but the alcohol had burned off all of his inhibitions. He slicked up his cock, eyes fluttering closed as he moaned Light's name lewdly. 

'Oh my god, this is so hot' Light thought, eyes fixed on the slow but steady movements of L's hand as he stroked himself. The glint of his wedding ring catching in the light made Light's stomach flip with happiness.

"Nnn, Light, fuck!" L gasped, his head tossing on the pillow as he toyed with the sensitive head of his cock. Light felt his mouth grow dry at those erotic moans and the slick sounds of L's cock sliding back and forth across the palm of his hand. 

"That's so hot, Baby, tell me what your thinking about?" Light scooted a bit closer, unable to resist touching L just a little bit. He toyed with his nipples and L let out a series of breathy whines in encouragement. 

"You! I'm thinking about you, Light. I love you so much!" 

Light's breath hitched as L's other hand drifted lower. His brain melted at the sight of L slowly pushing a finger into himself. He had never seen something as hot as the way the ring of muscle stretched around that pale digit. 

"Mmmm, Light!"

"Another one" Light panted, his cock throbbing in his sleep pants, "Put another one in, Baby, don't forget to use lube" Light fumbled with the lube and passed it to L. L made a disgruntled noise at having to take his hands off himself but he let go of his cock and pulled his finger from himself. Light wanted to see everything and he was determined to give him a good show. He pumped a squirt of the clear gel onto the fingers of his spare hand. 

"Oh! Aaahh!" L had pushed in two fingers and was arching up off the bed, his eyes screwed tightly shut as he fingered himself. He left his cock hard and leaking on his stomach and fisted the sheets as he crooked his fingers. When his fingertips grazed across his prostate he whimpered Light's name in bliss. 

"That's it, Baby, that is so good" Light bit back the urge to take himself in hand and encouraged L further. L lost himself in his passion and was soon jerking off at a furious pace, a grimace on his face as he edged himself closer to comletion. 

"Are you close? Are you going to come for me, L?" Light whispered, flicking a rose pink nipple and making L whine in response. 

"Yes! Yes, I'm so close! Fuck, Light I'm so fucking close" 

Light already knew he was by the way L's breathing had picked up and how his stomach muscles were clenching. That beloved grimace on his husband's face was answer enough to his question, but he'd wanted to hear L say it. He wanted to watch L fall apart for him. 

L suddenly bucked on the bed and howled as a jet of come shot from his cock and landed on his chest. Light watched intently as L shot load after load all over his straining stomach muscles whilst he used his fingers to grind down and press against his prostate to further heighten the pleasure. 

Light sighed at the sight of his husband thrashing and moaning his name. It seemed to drag on forever until finally L twitched and shuddered with the last splurts of come then collapsed back against the bed and let out a long, satisfied sigh. 

"That was amazing" Light breathed. L made a sleepy "mmm" noise in return but Light knew he was too out of it to have heard him. He reached for some tissue and gently wiped away the thick pools of release from L's chest and cock. He glanced up at his husband and realized he was already half asleep. He cleaned up L's hole the best he could, not really wanting to be touching L when he was asleep. 

He waited five minutes until L's soft snores filled the room and cautiously rolled L onto his side, propping a pillow behind his back to keep him there in case he vomited. Once he was certain L was sleeping peacefully he scrambled from the bed to take a much needed cold shower… 

**********************

"Liiiight…"

Light smirked as he heard the plaintive call from the bedroom. He finished spooning the last of Naomi's breakfast into her mouth and went to his husband. Betty smothered a laugh as Light trudged upstairs, already armed with a bottle of water and some aspirin. 

"Good luck!"

"Thank you, Betty" Light sighed. He pushed open the bedroom door and was greeted by the adorable sight of two big, sad eyes peeping out of the duvet. L had curled himself up into a ball with just the top of his head sticking out. 

"Light, I feel really terrible"

"I'm really not surprised, Babe, you sank three bottles of wine yesterday" Light sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled at the lump, "Care to talk about it?"

L winced. "Can I have some aspirin and a drink first?" He asked in a small voice. Light laughed at L's 'cute act' and handed the water and aspirin to him. 

Once he had taken the tablets and drank the water L pulled the duvet over his head completely. 

"Um…?"

"I want to die of embarrassment, Light" came a sleepy mumble from beneath the duvet. "I'm so sorry I was an idiot"

Light, who had been an idiot countless times in his life, laughed it off. "Baby, it's fine. It happens. Sometimes stuff gets too much for us, I do understand that, but I wish you had come to me"

A slow nod came from the duvet. 

"Do you remember why you were so upset?" Light prompted. 

"Beyond" L mumbled, "It was the anniversary of when we first started dating and I just… thought too much about it. I tried to find someone to talk to but everyone was out or busy and… I guess I thought getting wasted would help me forget"

Light snorted softly, "Since when has getting wasted solved anything, Babe?" He kept his tone light and understanding because he was far from perfect in that regard too. 

"I know. Stupid" L groused, "And… um. I'm sorry I tried to jump you. At least, I think I tried to jump you?"

"Heh, something like that" Light giggled, "I ended up persuading you to give me a hot show instead"

L whipped the duvet from his head and stared at Light with enormous eyes. "I did *what?!*"

"You jerked off for me. It was hot" Light grinned then grew serious. "I had to think of something, Baby, you were pretty insistant that we have sex and… Well, I wouldn't. Not when you're drunk"

L cringed. If there was a hole big enough he would gladly crawl right into it. He was struck by the depth of Light's love and respect for him and it brought tears to his eyes. He realised that yes, he was a huge idiot. He should have gone to Light and told him… 

"Hey, it's okay" Light soothed. He wrapped his arms around L and rubbed his back, "I know you can't help how you feel about him, L. I know part of you still loves him and always will"

"I really don't deserve you" L muttered into Light's shoulder, "You're amazing, Light. You are my everything. I promise the next time I have something serious on my mind I will tell you and… not get drunk like an idiot"

Light kissed his forehead, his eyes shining with adoration. 

"Thank you, L. Now, how about pancakes in bed?"

L nodded his head and Light gave him another kiss before he left to go make L's breakfast. L lay back and pondered just how the hell he had gotten so lucky to have Light Yagami for a husband. 

He decided that he would spend the rest of the day showing his sweet husband how much he adored him. Light Lawliet might be his second love but he was his *soulmate* as far as L was concerned. 

Once again he was moved to tears as he reflected on just how far they had come together. Through it all, Light had been his anchor that kept him from becoming adrift in the stormy sea that was his life. 

But that meant he also had to be Light's and not telling him the important stuff went against that. L thought about their marriage this far and smiled to himself. 

They were still learning how to traverse the rocky path of marriage but he knew as long as they had each others hand to hold onto they would make it…


	53. Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light fall victim to complacency as their busy lives create a gulf between them. Will they find their way back to one another and open their eyes to what it truely important before it's too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light's dream is based on a nightmare I recently had. It was terrifying and haunting. I thought since we are coming to the conclusion of this fic, it's time for the boys to take stock of what they have and how far they've come...

L and Light loved each other dearly, but even that wasn't enough to stop them from walking blindly into the trap that awaited all loving, long-term couples:

They started taking each other for granted. 

Between Light's growing business, StrongHeart's looming deadlines, L's work as a private Detective and two fast growing children, they struggled to find the time to sit and talk together. Slowly and silently, they began to drift apart without even realizing what was happening. 

Their lives were a constant balancing act between responsibilities, meetings, raising the children and the occasional evening off where they would fall asleep almost instantly. 

Light heard the alarm bells ringing before L did, but he was too tired and too busy to do much about them at first. 

It was only when he was sat at his desk one morning, scribbling away and sighing in frustration did the thought hit him. 

In the last three months he and L had slept together the grand total of six times. Six fucking times! That was shocking. When they first started dating they couldn't keep their hands off of each other… what had happened? 

Light laid his pen down and considered their marriage. It was a happy one and he knew L adored him as much as he loved his husband, But, they were slipping into complacency. They were taking each other for granted! 

"Fuck" Light muttered. He wondered how L was feeling about it. Since L's breakdown over his and Beyond's anniversary a few months earlier they had tried their best to be more open with each other. 

'That didn't exactly go to plan' Light thought sourly. 'It's like this gulf has grown between us lately. I don't want that, and I know L doesn't either. We need to make more of an effort' 

Light picked up his phone and immediatly called L. 

"Lawliet" L snapped tersely. Light winced. L obviously hadn't even looked at the screen to see who was calling him. Another sign that their relationship was being swept out to sea without them even realizing it. 

"Hey, Baby" Light cooed. When was the last time he'd rang L from work? Weeks, if not a month ago, probably… 

"Light! Sorry, I didn't realize it was you. Are you okay? Kids okay?"

"Fine and yes, they're fine too. I was just ringing to see how you are"

"Aw, that is so sweet, Babe. To tell the truth, I'm just about ready to put my fist through this stupid computer screen" L muttered darkly, "Fucking murdering assholes"

Light giggled, amused at L's snarky tone. He found he *missed* talking to L during the day. By the time the evening rolled around they were both too tired to do much but mumble out questions, feed the kids, maybe feed themselves and just pass out on the sofa. 

"Light… I, uh… I've been meaning to talk to you" L cleared his throat, his nervousness apparent. "You do love me, don't you?"

Light's heart stopped beating for a moment. "What? Of course I do! Why would you even ask that?!"

"Oh. Well… it's just… I was thinking we don't really… we aren't…. " L let out a frustrated sigh, "We aren't the same as we were, are we?"

It shouldn't have felt like such a punch to the gut, but it did. Light winced as he picked up the photo of L, himself and the twins on the beach he kept on his desk. 

"We aren't, Baby, we've both been so busy we've gone of course I think" Light mumbled sadly, "My mum warned me years ago it can happen no matter how much we love each other. She said life could get in the way and that it was important to take stock of what we have as a couple. I guess I was arrogant to assume it wouldn't be an issue for us since I didn't believe her…"

L chuckled, sounding relieved that Light had picked up that something was wrong between them too. "She's been married to your father for 34 years, if anyone is going to know about relationship complaciney it's her. I'm sorry, Light. I'm going to cut my workload down a bit, and I think we should both have a chat with your mother. We shouldn't be so busy that we don't make time for each other. I don't want that, and I *miss* you  
…"

Light felt his chest loosen with relief at L's words. He missed L too. "We will, Babe, I promise we will get back on track. And I'm going to ask Betty to work on tonight. Do you know why?"

"Why?" L sounded amused. 

"Because I want to fuck you over the kitchen table and make you scream my name" Light uttered nonchalantly. He was delighted by L's small gasp. 

"Oooh, Light that's hot" L moaned. "You're making me hard" he added, a grin in his voice.

Light felt lust sizzle through him. What better way to dust the cobwebs off than a bit of naughty phone fun? 

"Are you alone?"

"Well, no. I have Truce with me" L replied, a teasing edge to his voice. "But if you are thinking what I think you are… I'm pretty certain Truce won't tell anyone…"

"That's as good as being alone. Take your cock out and start stroking *slowly* for me"

L made a soft sigh and Light moaned at the sound of clothes rustling. 

"Fuck, this is so hot" L's breath hitched, "Light, I'm so hard…"

Light closed his eyes and imagined his husband's cock throbbing for him. It made his own cock ache in longing. His blood was pounding through him and Light had to wonder how they had almost forgotten this magic between them. He had promised to love L forever, and he had meant it. 

'Never again. Never will I take him for granted' Light thought as he began to pump his own cock. He'd already locked the door and he was honestly too turned on to care anyway. 

"L…" Light moaned, toes curling as he pictured his husband's pale fingers wrapped around his cock, "fuck, I love you. I love you so much!"

L's breath hitched and Light grinned at the soft, rhythmic sounds of fabric ruffling as L stroked himself faster. 

"Light, oh god, I feel like I'm about to come" L whispered, his eyes fluttering closed as he relaxed into his chair and just drowned in sensation. Light's panting down the phone was sending his brain into overdrive and his hand was bringing him closer and closer to the edge at a phenomenally fast pace. 

'It's been too long for both of us, Fuck, Light, I love you!' L thought as he teetered on the brink. He knew when he came it was going to be fucking glorious. His body throbbed with the need to come and he gritted his teeth to keep himself from screaming. 

"Come for me, Baby" Light groaned, his own hips snapping ad he roughly jerked himself closer and closer to release. He wanted, no needed, to hear those choked groans and breathy sighs first though. 

"Light! Ah! Aaaah! Li-Light, i'm-" L's words broke off into those sweet strangled moans that Light had been waiting for. He hissed out L's name and shot through his fingers, heavy groan falling from his lips ad he felt weeks worth of tension literally burst out of him. They moaned and gasped each others names as their pleasure slammed through them. They might have been apart but at this moment they were as close together as they always had been. They finally felt *together* again as they shared their pleasure. 

"Oh god" L moaned weakly, "Light, fuck, i've literally come all over the computer screen…"

Light giggled breathlessly as he spurted out the last of his release, body trembling with endorphins and satisfaction. "Send me a picture" 

"... Are you kidding me?" L huffed. 

"Nope. I want to see how hard I've made you come"

"... Fine. Hold on" L grumbled, more for show than any real complaint. He snapped a pic and sent it to Light. 

"Wow, Baby, I really have been neglecting you lately, haven't I? You came like a racehorse!" Light sounded smugly approving as he stared at the pic. It was sort of hot seeing the physical result of L's desire for him like that. He saved it. 

L squirmed at his husband's words. He felt filthy, sticky but absolutely relaxed. He supposed Light was right about something- he really *had* needed that! 

"That was so good" Light moaned as he clean himself up. "Should make that a regular thing. Oh my god, you can video call me next time-"

"I'm going to clean up, I will leave you to your sordid fantasies, you creep" L teased before adding, "I love you so much, Babe"

"Love you too. I can't wait to see you tonight" Light wished he was with his husband now. He would kiss those sweet lips over and over. 

As it was, he soon found himself in another conference call with dreams of L's lips the only thing keeping him sane… 

*******************

L had squeezed in a quick chat with Sachiko and after her sage words of wisdom, he decided he would try and cook something for his husband. He wasn't the best cook, and in the end Naomi had to save the day, but L was proud of his efforts. Hopefully Light would appreciate them. 

When he got home. Which was supposed to be an hour ago… 

L couldn't help but pace anxiously. Light always rang when he was running late.

He put the dinner back in the oven, checked on the kids and had a shower. Still no Light. 

'Something's wrong. I don't know how I know, but I do. This isn't like Light…' 

His mobile rang and L grabbed it, his relieved smile turning to a frown as he stared at a number he didn't recognize. 

"Hello?" L asked hesitantly, confused at the sudden feeling of dread that washed over him. 

"Mr Lawliet? I'm calling from Ark-High Hospital-"

'No. Oh my god. No' L felt the ground rush up to meet him but somehow managed to stumble to a chair. 

"What's happened? Where is he? Is he alright?" L shot out the questions in a rapid fire as he struggled to breath. 

"He was involved in a automobile collision a few hours ago…"

"NAOMI!" L screamed at the top of his lungs. Naomi ran to him, her face white with fear at how terrified L had sounded. L went into autopilot as he left Naomi to speak with the Nurse. He packed some of Light's things. He settled the children and found himself sat in the back of Matt and Mello's car. 

It was when they pulled up outside the hospital did the reality of what had happened truly hit home. 

It was only hours earlier they were promising to make more time for one another… what if that time had been so cruelly stolen from them? 

L couldn't imagine living without Light. Light was his entire world. Everything before him was meaningless and he knew without Light to hold the threads together his life would unravel before his eyes. He wondered if how he was feeling was the same as Light had felt when his own life hung in the balance when he was waiting for a heart. Perhaps even before that, when Light used to visit him everyday in hospital after Beyond's poisoning… 

"Please be okay" L whispered to himself as Naomi helped him out the car. His legs felt wooden as he rushed to A and E. He had no idea what to expect. The nurses hadn't told him or Naomi much over the phone other than 'Please come right away!'

"Light Lawliet?! Where is he?" L demanded as soon as he got to the reception desk. The flustered receptionist directed him to ACDU and L shot off, leaving the others straggling. 

L glanced around desperately for room 12 and when he found it he had to steel himself before knocking on the door. It was a private sideroom and the blinds were closed. L didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

His first sight upon opening the door was the mangled mess that was his husband's once beautiful face. Blood, sticky as it dried, was caked in his hair and his face was set in a grimace of pain. L took one look at his leg and choked back a moan of despair. 

"Mr Lawliet?" A Dr steered him to the side so his team could continue to work, "Your husband was involved with a collision. He is in a stable condition however we have concerns about the fractures and damage inflicted to his left leg. The wound will not stop bleeding…"

L glanced at Light's leg. It was even more mangled than his poor face. 

"What are your options?" L got straight to the point, "If it's a choice between hoping for the best and him not bleeding out or taking the leg off, which one would you advise?"

"Mr Lawliet… he is being prepared for theater. I'm very sorry, but his leg is going to have to be amputated right away. The damage is…"

L turned from the Doctor and stared at his husband. Light was going to have to loose a leg… how would that effect him? L would do whatever it took to help him through it. Light was a fighter, just like he was. Knowing his husband, he'd probably even find a way to joke about it… 

"Babe! I'm here, it's going to be okay! I will be waiting for you" L whispered as he stroked the blood slick hair back from Light's face. "I swear I am never going to take you for granted again. Not even for a second. You fight for me, Baby, okay?"

L's breath hitched as Light's eyelashes flickered. He could have sworn he heard Light murmur his name… 

"Mr Lawliet, we really need to operate now. We will bring you news as soon as we can" a stressed looking but compassionate nurse soothed as she gently pulled L away from his husband. 

L could only watch in stricken despair as his husband was wheeled off to the operating theater… 

********************

Light didn't usually dream, and when he did they weren't particularly vivid. He supposed that is why he found this dream so surreal and frightening. 

He was at his own funeral. He knrw that because L was crying and he was wearing black. His family banded around him but they were all crying too. There were flowers being laid around an open grave and the sky itself seemed to be sobbing as tears splashed to the ground, battering the delicate petals of the flowers. 

Light wished he could reach out to them and tell them he was alright. He didn't want them to cry. The sight of tears running down L's face broke his heart. 

"L! L, I'm here! I'm alright, don't cry, Baby! please don't cry!" Light reached out for his husband, terrified when his hand went through L's arm. Was he a ghost? How could that be?! 

L looked right through him and Light felt a surge of bleak helplessness as L approached his coffin, a single white Rose in hand. 

'Oh god, why am I dreaming this? This is a nightmare. It has to be! I want to wake up! I want to wake up now!' Light tried to tear himself away but he found himself stuck in this blizzard and terrifying lucid dream. 

L traced the engraving on the coffin, barely able to see the words through the tears in his eyes. He couldn't see the words, but he knew exactly what the golden plaque said:

'Light Lawliet. Dearly beloved husband, father, son, brother and uncle. A torch that illuminated so many lives that will never be extinguished'

"I'm gonna love you forever, Light" L croaked as he laid his rose on the coffin, "I'm so sorry we never got the chance to fix what was broken between us. I wish we could turn back time… but… we can't. I've lost you… "

'Dammit, L! We can! We still have time! This is just a dream! Fuck, I need to wake up, please, this can't be happening' Light panicked as the dream abruptly shifted. He was no longer standing by L. Instead he felt himself trapped inside the coffin. He screamed as he heard and felt each thud of earth as his grave was slowly filled. 

"No! L! L, help me! L! Don't leave me!" Light scratched at the wood in desperation as he began to suffocate. He wasn't sure what was more unbearable, not being able to breath or not being able to get back to his husband. 

"L!"

Light awoke and screamed, the terror filled vision filling his mind and making him see nothing else as he thrashed and struggled for breath. 

"Light! Look at me, it's me! It's L! Wake up!" L shot to his side and grabbed Light's hand, tears pouring down his face as Light's hoarse scream echoed in his ears. 

Light shivered at the words and squinted. Black hair. Silvery eyes. That patient, ever loving smile… 

Joy exploded within him at the sight of his husband. 

"L!" He sobbed and tried to reach for him. It was like the dirt was falling away and he had one moment to cleave to what he cherished before it was taken from him again. L cried into Light's neck as they clung onto each other. 

"Light, oh my god, I thought I'd lost you! You've been in a coma for two weeks" L sobbed into Light's neck, "I kept telling you to come back, oh my god, I'm never… I'm never…"

Light knew what his husband was trying to say, even as he broke down and his words failed him. 

He held onto his husband and made a vow to never let him go. He would cherish every single moment with L by his side. Never again did he want to experience that slow searing loss he'd felt… 

"He's awake!" Excited whispers rang out through the waiting room as the family peered in through the window. "Finally, oh my god" Mello grabbed Matt and hugged him in relief. 

Light settled back against his pillows with a drowsy smile as L whispered soothing words and stroked his hair. 

"Everything is going to be alright, Light"

Light slipped back into sleep, a small smile on his face as his husband's words registered. Yes, everything was going to be alright, Light thought as unconsciousness beckoned once again… 

*******************

((2 months later)) 

It was high summer, and once again the family were lounging by the pool enjoying some well earned time off together. L and Light were sat side by side, L tenderly attaching Light's prosthetic leg for him. 

"Does it bother you?" Light murmured, his voice soft as he watched L attach the buckles with a deft swiftness. 

"Does what bother me, Baby?" L looked up at him with a bright, innocent smile. Light smiled back, knowing L truly wasn't phased by the fact he'd lost his leg by his question. L wasn't playing dumb or trying to brush it under the carpet, he genuinely didn't see the false limb as an issue. 

'He sees straight through it' Light thought as L announced he was finished. Physio was still on going, and Light wasn't yet overly mobile, but with L's help he was starting to move around more as he got used to the artificial limb. 

His goal was to be strong enough to play football and run around after the kids. 

"The…" Light trailed off and shrugged. "Nothing. Never mind"

L held out his hand to Light as he stood up. "Lean on me"

Light, who had spent so many years being strong and being L's tower of support, leaned on his husband. Together they walked around the pool to the veranda overlooking Light's Vineyards, both wanting a little time alone. 

"I know what you were thinking, you know" L whispered when it was just the two of them, shielded away from barking dogs, shrieking children and the happy chatter of their family. "The only thing that bothers me is that I nearly lost you, Light. I've never felt more terrified in my life, and that includes when Beyond and J kidnapped me. I made a promise that if you pulled through I would never take you for granted again. You're alive and you are mine, Light. You think I really care about a bloody leg compared to *that*?"

Light smiled and leaned in for a kiss. 

"You're amazing, L"

"Light" L sighed against his lips "I'm gonna love you forever"

Light pulled L against him and looked him straight in the eye. "Ditto, L"

Since the children were being watched by Naomi and Sachiko, L and Light snuck off to their bedroom, shedding clothes as they went. 

Between kisses and breathy promises of love, Light slowly prepared his husband as L rocked on top of him, hands reached back to run up and down Light's leg. L caught a buckle and undone it. 

"L…?" Light stilled the movement of his fingers in shock as L deftly took off his leg. He knew his stump wasn't exactly attractive and they had never made love without it on before… 

"Shh" L placed it aside and gently pushed Light back onto the bed. "Don't focus on your leg. Focus on me and how much I love you"

L straddled Light"s waist and guided his cock inside of him. They both shuddered at the sensation and clutched at one another, their bodies singing at the rightness of being joined together once again. 

"I'm not bothered about your leg" L repeated firmly as he slowly rocked his hips. "Im blinded by beauty everytime I look at you, Light" he leaned down to kiss his husband sweetly, conveying all the passion he had for him in his kiss. 

Light felt tears prick his eyes and he too felt blinded as they moved slowly and sinuously together. His leg was suddenly inconsequential as their passion rose. Light slipped out of his husband and flipped him onto his back. Their mouths clashed as Light pushed back inside and stared down at L's face as he rocked back and forth inside him. 

"I was blind too, L" Light gasped as L shuddered and moaned his name beneath him, "But not anymore. Oh, fuck, not anymore…"

The prosthetic limb fell from the bed to the floor as they cried out in rising passion. It lay forgotten and unimportant as L and Light focused on what was truly important:

Their love for one another.


	54. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light takes L away for his birthday and makes a heartfelt proposition to him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God.
> 
> Second to last chapter. 
> 
> 😱
> 
> I am going to miss this series so much, its been a blast to write, but I am excited to finish it too. I feel it has run its course and the boys have ran the gauntlet and made it out the other side! 
> 
> ❤ LawLight forever ❤

Light giggled as he stealthily sneaked back upstairs with a breakfast tray loaded with all things sugary. Today was his darling husband's 30th birthday and he planned to spoil him rotten. 

Light peeked into the bedroom and grinned as he saw L was still flaked out on his stomach, sheets twisted around his legs. It gave Light a rather nice view of his ass and he grinned again as he remembered last night's activities. Since their 'little blip' as he liked to think of it, they had been insatiable for one another! Last night he had tied L up, blindfolded him and-

'No. Probably best to dwell on that too much right now' Light decided. He didn't want to get distracted and he had plans for that gorgeous husband of his. And that gorgeous ass, truth be told, but that would have to wait. Betty was getting the children ready and everyone was meeting at 10 for a family day out. That meant he only had 2 hours to get L awake (not an easy feat) get him fed, showered and out of the door. 

Yes, Light had planned for this because waking L up early required military precision. 

"Baby" he cooed, "Happy birthday!"

L moaned and pulled the duvet over his head. Light giggled at the sight of L's dark hedgehog hair sticking up. He adored that sight just as much as he did six years ago when he'd first seen it. 

"L" Light gently shook his shoulder. He wasn't surprised in the least when L let out a plaintive whimper and burrowed further under the blankets. He thought he heard a slurred 'Fuck off, Liiiiight!' and snickered. His baby would *never* be a morning person. 

Light knew there was only one thing for it. He grabbed the duvet and tugged it firmly. 

At once L was awake, sitting up and glowering at him. 

"Bastard" L hissed. Light knew how annoyed that made him! 

"Good morning to you too, Sunshine" Light pressed a kiss to his grumpy husband's face, "And happy 30th!"

That didn't do much for L's mood. 'Oh great, I'm old' L thought as he tried to reach for the duvet. "It would be a happy birthday if you would let me have a lie on!" L snapped, frustrated when Light tugged the duvet away from him. 

'Damn Light and his morning person powers!' L thought as he felt the sudden craving for a coffee. A glance at the clock on his bedside table informed him it was only 7:45 so why the hell was he awake?! 

"Uh-uh. You have to wake up because I have a full day planned for you" Light chirped as he handed L a card. "The twins made it for you"

L perked up at that and opened the card. Little hand and footprints in pink and blue paint decorated the front and Light had written 'To Daddy, happy birthday, we love you, Naomi and Junior xxx' Inside. 

"Aww" L smiled and placed the card on the bedside table, suddenly not feeling so bad about getting up. "Sorry for being a bitch, Light. I'm awake now. Ooh, did you make me coffee?" L smiled sheepishly. 'He isn't a bastard' L mentally corrected, 'He is my baby and I love him. Even if he is a morning person'

Light chuckled and past L his coffee. "Oh, don't apologize, Baby, I'm used to it" he smirked and sat down next to L. "In a months time it will be five years since we were married, Babe and… I know it might sound sappy but I just wanted to let you know how happy you make me. You are my everything, L"

L shifted closer and cupped Light's cheek in his hand. "You are my everything too, Light. God, sometimes I look at you and I can't believe you're mine. Do you even know how stunning you are?"

Light blushed and leaned in for a kiss. "L…"

L pressed his lips to Lights and they shared a slow, tender kiss. When they parted their eyes shone. Never again would either of them take each other for granted. Their journey together had been too momentus for such things. They'd made a promise to cherish each other every day and they had fulfilled it. 

Light placed the tray down on the bed and they ate breakfast, occasionally sharing sweet smiles and kisses in between bites. 

Just as Light was about to steal another sugar coated kiss the door banged open and two excited toddlers hurried in. 

"Daddy!" 

L turned to see Naomi and Light toddling over to them, Betty hovering behind them like a protective mother hen in case one of them should fall. 

"I am sorry, boys, I was going to knock but they were excited to see you" Betty excused their sudden entrance. 

"That's alright" Light smiled, grateful L had covered himself with his duvet. He certainly didn't want poor Betty getting an eyeful of his hubby! 

"Happy Birthday, Daddy" Naomi cooed, lifting her chubby hands to be picked up. L smiled at her and scooped her into his arms. Light picked up junior and they cuddled their children, the very image of domestic bliss. 

'My family is beautiful' L thought as he watched Light feed Junior a strawberry. Naomi leaned forward for one too and a playful squabble broke out over the last strawberry. 

"That should be Daddy's" Light said as he plucked it up and held it to L's lips, "It is his special day, after all"

L beamed at Light and his eyes sparkled as Light did that stupid little voice and made 'Strawberry-San' beg not to be eaten. The children squealed with laughter as L deliberated on whether to eat it or not. 

"Strawberry-San said you weren't the most beautiful person in the world" Light's eyes were wistful and L knew he was thinking of the evening he had proposed to him on lovers hill.

"He is correct about that" L repeated his words from that magical night and smiled at Light. "You are"

"Eeeew" Junior moaned dramatically as Light pulled the strawberry away from L's lips and kissed him instead. 

Naomi looked between her parents and giggled at them. She took the opportunity to snatch the strawberry and popped it in her mouth. 

Junior burst into tears since *he'd* wanted Strawberry-San to live, Light looked surprised but L just stared at his daughter with a proud gleam in his eyes. 

'That's the spirit, my girl, if you want something in life you have to take it' L thought as he ruffled her hair. 

The family were off to L's favourite theme park and there was high spirits all around as they set off on their day out once L and Light had showered and dressed. It was decided presents could wait until later since everyone was eager to go. Light glanced at L and smiled a secretive smile. Little did L know his birthday was going to get so much better. 

Tonight he would ask his husband to renew their vows. He wanted to say those vows every five years for as long as he lived. At every milestone and every day he wanted to look L in those beautiful dark eyes and tell him how much he meant to him. 

Light curled his fingers around the ring in his pocket and tried not to grimace as Mello abruptly served to avoid a pothole. Maybe asking him to drive hadn't been the best idea… 

"Light" L laid his head against his shoulder and stroked his leg, his fake leg, and smiled up at him sweetly. Adoration sparkled in his eyes as he gazed up at him. 

"Yes, Babe?"

"I'm gonna love you forever" L sighed, eyes slipping closed in contentment. Light felt sheer joy erupting through him as L dozed off. L could never stay awake during car journeys anymore. He was sleepier than usual after his heart transplant, but no seriously negative side effects had been recorded. It was just a change they had come to accept, just like L had helped Light accept his fake leg. 

'Peg-leg' Light thought, a small grin on his face. They could joke about it now. Last Halloween Light had even dressed up as a Pirate, much to everyone's delight. Their family might be growing up and maturing but deep down they were still just a bunch of assholes that laughed at inappropriate shit. 

"You okay?" Naomi leaned over and peered down at L. She wasn't surprised he had fallen asleep and she brushed his hair out of his eyes tenderlet. 

"Fine, Nome" Light settled back against the seat and soaked up the warmth and the cherry scent of his husband's hair. 

'Everything is beautiful…' Light thought, stroking through L's hair, each pass of his fingers growing slower and slower as his breathing deepened. The sleepless nights with the twins caught up to him as his mind went pleasantly numb and fuzzy. Surely it wouldn't hurt to just close his eyes for a moment? 

Naomi rolled her eyes as Light drifted off to sleep as well. They had another hour to travel so she told the others to speak quietly and let her friends sleep. The kids had wanted to travel with Uncle Anton and Uncle Yuri, so a quiet peace descended over the car. Naomi sat back and watched the yellow/orange trees and Autumn burnished plains and hills roll by. 

Matt and Mello began to bicker about what radio station they wanted to play and Raye took her hand in his. 

'Life is so good now. It's so good for all of us… ' Naomi thought, a small smile curling her lips. In just minutes, she too was fast asleep. 

******************

They spent an enjoyable day at the theme park. Light made sure to buy L as much candy as he wanted, which inevitably led to the kids wanting candy too. By the time four pm rolled around they were crashing from their sugar highs and were falling asleep on their feet. 

Not that anyone minded. It was nice to have some peace and quiet since the kids had been zooming around like little lightning bolts all afternoon. 

Plus, Light had his special plan to set into motion. Anton and Yuri would be taking the kids home with them and he would be whisking his husband away for a weekend spa break and retreat in the mountains. 

As soon as the kids were fastened in their car seats and dozing off again with happy smiles on their faces, Light pulled L away from the car.

"Were not going home tonight, Baby" Light grinned as he wrapped his arms around him. 

L's eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh? What kind of plans?"

"I can't tell you, Babe, It will ruin the surprise. You know Anton and Yuri sneaked off earlier? They were grabbing our bags and my car. You, Mr Lawliet, are coming with me"

"I do hope you mean that in the literal sense" Naomi snickered as she gave them both a peck on the cheek, "It's his birthday, Light, be sure to spoil him"

"Bitch" L giggled as he gave her a hug. He knew damn well his studly husband would be *spoiling* him all night. 

"Oh, don't worry, Nomes, I assure you L will be most *satisfied* with tonight's events" Light grinned slyly and both L and Naomi groaned at the cheesy innuendo. 

"Have fun!" Matt and Mello waved at them as they piled into Mello's hideous neon beige car. L was relieved to see Matt would be the one driving home. 

Anton and Yuri had already whisked the kids away, excited at their shared babysitting responsibilities with Raye and Naomi. They were considering marriage themselves and were even tentatively considering adoption. Light decided they might reconsider, or at the very least, learn what they were getting into, by looking after their two year old terrors. 

"Thanks guys! See you Monday" Light opened L's door for him like the perfect gent and L beamed at him. He was so excited! 

Raye and Naomi shared a fond look as Light walked to the driver's seat. They were both so proud of him. Apart from a slight limp it was impossible to notice Light only had one real leg. He walked with the same grace and poise he had always possessed and had stunned his entire physio team with his relentless determination to walk again. 

L turned in his car seat and waved at Raye and Naomi while Light drove off. Soon the bright lights and sounds of the theme park faded into the distance as Light guided them out into open country. He was heading for the hillside retreat he'd fallen in love with. It had stunning views over the ocean and the spa was world renowned it was that good. He knew L would love it instantly. 

"Babe, where are we going?" L frowned as Light took a route rather different than the one they had used to arrive at the theme park. 

"Somewhere special" Light answered cryptically. "Haribo is in the glove box" he added as L smiled at him. 

"Aww, Baby" L cooed. "I love you so much, Light" he grabbed the sweets and shoved a handful in his mouth, chewing happily in contentment. 

"I love you too" Light squeezed L's thigh, "And I am going to spend the rest of my life showing you that"

L beamed in happiness and handed Light a sour dummy. Light chuckled and ate it out of L's hand. Both couldn't help but think how sweet life was… 

*********************

Three hours later, L and Light found themselves on their stomachs and sighing in bliss as the masseuse worked magic on their backs. 

"Oh my god" L moaned, "This is literally heaven" 

The spa had panoramic views of the surrounding countryside and combined with the soft music and delicious scents of aromatherapy oils, Light had to agree with his husband. They really had found themselves in heaven. He reached for L's hand and held it. 

"Thank you so much for arranging this" L beamed at him, "You're the *best* husband, Babe"

Their masseuses shared a grin. These two were adorable! It was a general rule not to talk while they worked but L and Light didn't seem to mind. They chatted amicably as the women worked out the knots from their backs with skilled percussion. 

"Ow! Ow, fuck! Ooohhh… thank you, Martina, that feels good" L groaned as he felt something pop and give way in his lower back. 

Martina giggled and drizzled a bit more oil onto his skin. "You slouch a lot, L, and your back isn't thanking you for it!" She explained as she rubbed in the sweet smelling oil. 

"Ha! Told you you had shit posture!" Light crowed and pointed at L. 

"Yeah well, least I have two legs, fucking pegleged bastard!" L shot back rapid fire, a huge grin on his face. 

The girls exchanged a nervous glance before they realized L and Light were snickering like school children. 

'Guess that's their relationship then. They are such…Boys!' Martina thought fondly as L and Light continued to giggle and poke fun at one another. 

"Pegleged bastard" Light giggled as they relaxed back and enjoyed the massage. "You're such a dick" he added, unable to resist rattling L's cage a little. 

"Here he goes, talking about his favourite thing in the world again: Dick" L rolled his eyes and the girls busted up laughing. They had never had so much fun! Usually their patrons were kind of stuffy and stuck up themselves. L and Light were like a breath of fresh air. 

"Oh my god, stop making me laugh!" Louisa complained as she wiped tears from her eyes, "Damn, can you guys come and stay every weekend? Would certainly perk up our workdays!"

"Well, I don't know about every weekend, Louisa, but we will certainly be back" Light grinned, "This place is amazing!"

"It is. After your massages you should totally try out the outdoor baths. They're a little cool this time of year but the mineral water is so soothing" Martina enthused, pleased at the news these adorable men would be coming back to the spa. 

"Sounds good" L nodded. "Can we drink champagne out there?"

"Babe, it's your birthday. You can do so whatever you like" Light squeezed his hand. He always loved it when L drank champagne because the bubbles made him tipsy and he definitely wanted L tipsy. A little alcohol lowered his inhibitions and made him super horny to boot. 

They enjoyed the rest of their massages and went to the outdoors pools. Perched on a balcony overlooking the mountains and surrounded by lush plants they were stunning. However, they were also *cold*

"I'm not sure about this" L admitted as he felt his skin pebble. He crossed his arms across his chest and hugged himself as he started to shiver. Light found that adorable and pulled him into a hug to keep him warm. 

"We don't have to go in them. It is rather cool. How about we have champagne in our room and chill for a bit?"

L nodded, relieved he wouldn't have to go in that frigid, *arctic* looking water. They returned to their luxurious sweet and Light poured the champagne. He had planned on proposing later that evening but he decided now was the perfect time. They were on the balcony overlooking the mountains and L looked so relaxed and happy he just had to. He made an excuse about needing the bathroom and slipped back inside to find the ring. 

He returned to L and startled him by going down on one knee. 

"Light, Babe, you've already done that" L chuckled as Light smiled up at him. 

"Yes, and I want to do it again. I want to propose to you every five years and renew our vows" Light held out the platinum ring. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, L"

L was speechless with emotion. Every five years? He imagined himself and Light as old men, and he just knew Light would still get down on one knee to propose… 

"Yes" L breathed. He took the ring and placed it on his middle finger. He pulled Light up and kissed him. Light smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around L's waist, losing himself in the sweet kiss. 

"Light… thank you for loving me" L whispered as they finally parted, "Thank you for being mine"

"I should be thanking *you* L. Without you I'd be living some other life, probably hating every second of it too. You've helped me find out who I am and… you are just everything, L, you are my everything"

L grabbed him and kissed him hard. He had thought he had found perfect love with Beyond once. What he had once felt for him didn't hold a candle to how he felt for Light. Through thick and thin Light had stood beside him, and though their beginning had been shaky, L knew the foundations of their marriage were strong enough to withstand anything. 

Light smiled as L tugged him towards the bed. They stripped each other slowly, sharing soft languid kisses as they went. They curled up around each other and continued to kiss slowly as nothing but love flowed between them. 

They made love slowly and tenderly, eyes fixed on each others and hands enclasped. When the pleasure eventually crested L found himself actually disappointed. He wanted this moment to last forever. 

Light moved gently inside him, gasping out his name in adoration and nuzzling his neck. L clung to him, tears in his eyes as he finally splintered apart. Light cried out and followed suit and they clung together in bliss. 

"Light" L gasped when he caught his breath, "Light, I love you so much"

"Mmm. Love you too, L" Light sighed sleepily, flopping out on top of him and breathing deeply. L chuckled as Light fell asleep and shifted slightly. He was trapped, but that wasn't a particularly bad thing. He felt safe in Light's arms. The smell of him, the feel of his smooth skin under his hands… 

L closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. 

**********************

Their idyllic trip away left them in high spirits and when they returned home, L made a point of showing everyone his new ring. 

Sachiko and Souichiro were delighted at Light's romantic promise to L. Souichiro found it ironic that he was pleased Light was so happy with the person he had once disliked so intensely. Lawliet still pissed him off every so often, but they had learned to look past their differences. Lawliet was family now, and Souichiro was a grandfather. 

He bounced Naomi Jnr on his knee and admired her pale beauty. She favored L and had his big trey eyes and ebony hair. 

"You are going to be a little heartbreaker when your older, my girl" Souichiro said as he continued to bounce a giggling Naomi on his lap. 'I just hope I am still around to see you both grow up' he thought as Light jnr tore across the grass, giggling as he ran away from his dad. 

"Junior, come back here!" Light yelled, "You're having a bath young man!"

"I don't think he is, Babe" L commented as Jnr made a break for the stables. Jnr and Naomi loved their little Shetland ponies and spent a lot of time brushing the friendly little ponies. 

"No bath!" Light yelled as he slammed open the stable door and vanished inside. 

"Told you" Naomi snorted as she clinked her wine glass with L's. L snickered as Light threw his hands up and walked over to his family. 

It was still fairly early. They'd try again later. Light sat down next to L and took his hand. The season was changing and starlings flocked together, the first harbingers of winter. 

"I can't wait for Christmas thus year" L grinned as they spotted little Light poke his head out of the stables. "The kids are going to love it!"

"Mmmh" Light stroked the back of L's hand, an idea forming in his mind. L loved christmas and what better day to have the renewal of their vows than on Christmas?! He caught Naomi's eye and she quirked an eyebrow, wondering what sweet scheme Light was cooking up now. 

Matt and Mello drifted over and distracted L enough for Light to slip away. He gathered Raye, Naomi, Anton and Yuri to him and together they excitedly began to plot…


	55. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L, Light and their friends learn what 'forever' truly means...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! The end is here! 
> 
> I really hope this is a fitting end for our boys. I wanted to bring things full circle and end the story in a way that will leave things up to the readers imagination somewhat. 
> 
> This fic has dominated my life for the last several months and it is bittersweet that it has finally come to an end... 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has followed this fic right through to the end, and I really hope you enjoy this final chapter and who knows... 
> 
> If enough people nag me I may write an epilogue set a few years later 😉

Christmas day dawned the way it always did in the Lawliet household: the kids were screaming with excitement, Truce was running around and wagging his tail in anticipation of his turkey dinner and L and Light shared a sweet kiss under the mistletoe. They hung the mistletoe from the beam just outside the lounge simply because it was one of the most used parts of the house. L and Light freely admitted this to Matt and Mello when they arrived to help sort out the presents. It was a young tradition, seeing as the children were only two, but a tradition nonetheless. Everyone would gather round L and Light's Christmas morning to open their gifts together before heading to Sachiko and Souichiro's for her legendary Christmas dinner. 

"Presents!" Naomi squealed, tugging on L's arm to get his attention. She didn't understand why her parents would want to be doing something as boring as kissing when there were presents downstairs waiting to be opened! 

"Presents!" Light Junior joined in and tried to climb up Light's leg. 

"Okay, okay, Little man" Light laughed as he reached down to pull Light off him. "Do you think Santa Claus has been?"

"Yes" two little voices answered in unison, eyes wide and solemn in their conviction that yes, Santa Claus had been. They had been good all year… well, *some* of the year anyway. 

"We have to wait for the others to arrive" L reminded gently as his kids tried to barge into the lounge. Mello's little icing sugar footprints stood out atarkly on the wooden floor and the kids shrieked with excitement at the sight of them. 

"He's been!" Naomi declared victoriously. 

"I suppose he has" L smiled, "Why don't you do look outside? The reindeer might have left you something"

The kids rushed off giving L the perfect excuse to yank Light's collar and pressed his lips against his. He was excited too. Not for gifts but for the renewal ceremony that was taking place after lunch. 

"Mmm" Light mumbled against L's lips, wrapping a hand around the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss. "I love you so much, Baby"

"I love you too" L sighed, eyes sparkling with happiness. He stared at Light and tenderly stroked his face, imagining what things would be like in five years time when they would say their vows again. The kids would be seven then and they would be growing up so quickly… 

L smiled at the thought. One thing was for sure, his love for Light would be the same. His love for Light was something eternal and evergreen. 

"HO HO HO mother fuckers!"

L and Light shared an exasperated look. "Matt and Mello are here" Light announced with a grin. They walked outside and were greeted by a blast of crisp winter air and Mello in a custom designed Santa outfit. Instead of the usual red and white Mello had decided neon pink and beige were more suitable and had completed his outfit with a pair of purple ugg boots. 

'Never change, Mels' L thought as Mello scooped up the kids and planted kisses on their faces. 

"Dad!" Naomi was pointing at a pile of glittery 'reindeer poop'. 

"Naughty Reindeer" Matt tsked. "Look, they've eaten all their carrots!"

Light junior proudly showed off the empty platter Light had filled with carrots the night before. Light had fed them to the ponies once the kids were in bed and L had 'helpfully' disposed of Santa's mince pie and eggnog. 

L craned his neck and saw the others arriving. Naomi, his sweet Naomi, was still in her dressing gown and looking a bit worse for wear. Clearly Raye Junior, who was coming in four, had kept her up half the night. 

"Urgh. Merry Christmas" Raye groaned when they joined the small group. 

"Rough night?" Light asked as Naomi yawned. 

"Mmm. Someone didn't go to sleep until three am, did they?" Naomi gave her son a sharp glance. Raye Junior blushed and scuffed his feet. He could tell his mum wasn't *too* bad at him because she was still smiling. 

"Why don't you guys go in and grab a coffee?" L took pity on them, "We'll round up everyone else and meet you inside"

"Bless you, Sweetie" Naomi pecked L's cheek with a kiss, "Any whisky?"

"Top cupboard, Babe, make me one while you're at it, yeah?" L winked at her. Light and Raye met each others eyes and smirked at their other halves behaviour. They were still as thick as thieves! They probably always would be too. 

Yuri and Anton eventually stumbled out of their house, a bit bleary eyed and disheveled. Light smirked at the sight of them. No doubt they had been on their customary vodka-fueled Christmas eve bender and were now suffering the consequences. 

"Merry Christmas, Ant and Yuri" L said deliberately loudly, "Don't you two look bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning!"

"Ugh, shut up, L" Anton moaned as he massaged his temples. 

"Charming" L sniffed with a wicked grin on his face. "No Irish coffee for you then?"

"Suck my dick" Yuri grumbled in Russian, aware of little ears close by. 

"No thanks, Light's is the only dick I like sucking on" L returned in perfect Russian, "Kind of you to offer though!"

Souichiro finally managed to drag Sachiko away from the kitchen long enough to watch the grandchildren open their gifts. Everyone gathered round the lounge and tore into their mounds of presents. L and Light watched the kids squeal with glee and smiled at each other. Seemed the kids had been pretty good after all this year. 

Naomi handed out the coffees as she watched Junior jump around in excitement. She and Raye had got him the bike he was after and she was already bracing herself for the scabby knees and accidents that were bound to happen. His joy was worth it though, and wasn't having a few bumps and scrapes part of being a kid anyway? 

The adults opened their gifts once the kids were happily playing. Sachiko promptly excused herself with a 'The stuffing! I forgot the stuffing!' And Souichiro had no choice but to abandon his coffee when his wife yelled at him to start laying the table. 

Christmas was always a busy time of year but this year Sachiko was going the extra mile. The minister who had married L and Light would be arriving in a few hours time for the vows and after dinner she still had the flowers, decorations, candles to light the champagne to-

"Calm down, my dear. It will be fine-" Souichiro tried to soothe his whirlwind wife as she hurried out the door. Sachiko huffed at him and grabbed his arm, frog marching him out the door. 

"Calm down? Our son is renewing his vows in three hours time! In our home! It has to be perfect! Now, move your ass, Souichiro!"

Light winced at the sound of his mother hen pecking his father while L laughed sardonically as Souichiro meekly followed her out. 

"Heh, your mum is such a legend" L chuckled. 

"Sometimes I swear dad needs a medal. I can't believe mum used to be such a traditional little housewife!" Light shook his head in wonder. The last six years had changed everyone but no one as much as his mother. He was pleased by the changes in her and had to admit L was right, she *was* a legend. 

"Not anymore. That ladies got *balls*" Naomi butted in and lifted her liquered coffee in a toast to Sachiko. 

"To balls" L smirked as Naomi clicked her mug with his. 

"Balls?" Mello piped up, "Whose balls?"

"Oh my god" Anton moaned, the smell of whisky making him feel sick. He loved his friends dearly, but right now they were all being very loud and it made him want to curl into a ball and die. 

"Balls?!" Little Light said loudly. Light shot Mello a filthy look and made a fuss of playing with Light's new toys. 

"Whoops" Mello, utterly unrepentant, shrugged and helped himself to a tot of whiskey straight out the bottle. "Merry christmas all!" He cheered. Matt rolled his eyes fondly as Mello knocked back a few shots and wondered how sloshed he would be before lunch… 

***********************

"I hate sprouts" a very intoxicated Mello groaned as Sachiko heaped a pile on his plate. 

"They are good for you. You will eat them all up, young man" Sachiko sniffed as she placed an extra few on Mello's plate, just for kicks. 

"Yes, Ma'am" Mello sighed, eyes sad as he stared down at the ugly, smelly green balls of crap he'd have to eat. 

The family dug into dinner and L got out of eating sprouts by giving Sachiko the 'puppy-dog-eyes' and whining that they really didn't agree with him. Matt snickered as Mello seethed in anger. L shot Mello a triumphant look and smirked at his sprout-free plate. 

"Children" Raye reminded, looking at the *adults* and not at the kids who were actually behaving for a change. 

"Sorry, Dad" Matt giggled. Naomi smirked at him and decided that actually Raye *was* the dad figure in their group. He was always admonishing L for eating 'too much sugary crap' always lecturing Mello on swearing around the kids and without Raye she doubted anyone would accomplish much. He knew their schedules by heart and was always quick to remind L when he had a hospital check up coming up. 

'I love you, you big control freak' Naomi thought. Maybe it was the Irish coffee or the Christmas spirit but she couldn't stop herself nestling into him. Raye looked delighted at the display of affection and kissed his wife tenderly. 

"Gross" Raye Junior declared. Everyone knew he wasn't talking about the sprouts. 

Dinner passed slowly for L. He glanced at the clock, growing more excited with each passing second. He forced himself to eat since he didn't want to offend Sachiko, but his stomach was churning sheer excitement and it was hard to force it down. 

As soon as Dinner was over, Sachiko ordered everyone out so she could begin her preparations. The kids were content to play with their new toys outside, Anton and Yuri were content to find a quiet corner to curl up and die in, but L and Light were a bundle of nerves. 

"Its stupid. We've been married five years. Why are we feeling so nervous?" Light wondered aloud as L made another Irish coffee. 

"I don't know" L admitted. "I guess it might be because… Well, it's bringing it all back, isn't it? How much has changed since we first met"

Light grimaced as he thought back to those early days of self-loathing and his inability to accept the truth. If L hadn't have smashed into his life so spectacularly would he have ended up living a lie? 

Probably. 

"Baby, everyday with you has been something I've cherished. Even when we lost our way for a while… I know I say it a lot but you really *are* my world" Light reached for L and pressed a kiss to his hair, "Guess emotions are just running a bit high today?"

"Mmm" L rested his head against Light's shoulder and could have quite easily fallen asleep in his arms. He felt those arms wrap around his waist and hold him tightly and closed his eyes, contentment and a feeling of rightness washing over him. 

Light chuckled when he realized L had actually fallen asleep on his feet. Nerves had kept them both from getting a good nights sleep before, so Light carefully scooped l up and deposited him gently on the couch. Hopefully a catnap would help soothe him a bit. Light left L to sleep and went to find Naomi. He'd discovered whenever he was feeling nervous or afraid talking to that fearless force of nature always helped. 

**********************

L had no idea why, but he found himself in the peak district. It was a beautiful spring day and he was walking through a wildflower meadow. He felt at peace and the sun seemed to cast a hazy glow over his beautiful surroundings. 

'This is a nice dream. I wonder why Light isn't in it though?' L thought. Up ahead he could see two familiar figures sat on a bench. He squinted and his heart skipped a beat as he recognized them. 

Quillish and Beyond! 

L ran the rest of the way towards them and stared at them as he skid to a halt just metres away.

"Beyond? Quillish?" He asked, frightened he would wake up and find them gone and once again out of reach. 

"L" both turned to him and L felt his breath catch in his throat. They were *smiling* and Beyond looked so damn happy! He looked just like the Beyond from all those years ago he had fallen in love with. 

Without warning, tears sprung to his eyes as he tried to come to grips with what was happening. This dream was achingly bittersweet and he wasn't sure how he felt. 

"This isn't a dream, L. We've called you here to congratulate you and give you comfort. We've been watching over you, every step of the way, and we are so very proud of you"

L bit back a sob as Beyond stood up in that graceful, feline way of his and gathered him into his arms. There was no possessiveness, no lust in his actions, only love and comfort. 

"I'm myself again, L. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through, my love. I am so very sorry" Beyond whispered into his ear, "When one becomes a spirit all their pain and suffering they endured in life melts away. I wish I could take back everything I did that hurt you, L, but I can't. The only thing I can do is apologize and try and give you some closure. I heard you, you know, when you and Light came to visit my grave? I tried to reach out to you… I just… I just want you to know that I am *happy* you have found your soulmate in Light Yagami. I wish it could have been me, but I love you enough to let that go"

L clutched at Beyond tighter, his head reeling as he absorbed his words. Tears ran unchecked down his face and the familiar smell of leather and roses washed over him as he breathed it in. 

"Beyond, I'm so happy you're *you* again" L finally managed to reply. "Are you happy, my love? Are you really happy now?"

"I am. I'm finally at peace and I want you to be as well" Beyond squeezed him tightly before reluctantly letting go. L was no longer his, and he would never cause him pain again. Like Anton, he loved L enough to let him go. It was fate that he was bound to Light Yagami. 

L turned tearfilled eyes to Quillish and accepted a hug from his grandfather. They sat together on the bench and L listened intently as they told him about 'the spirit realm' and how they had been following his journey. Beyond actually cried as he admitted he had been unable to reconcile with J's soul yet, even though he had been trying to reach out to him. L wished he could comfort him, but he couldn't. What Beyond had done to him had been awful, yes, but Beyond had been sick. J was just a vile, nasty person through and through.

"It will be time for you to wake up soon, L" Beyond took his hand in his and squeezed it gently. "I think its rather sappy of Yagami to want to renew your vows every five years… but it's pretty beautiful too"

"It is, isn't it?" L felt so torn. He wanted to stay and talk to them more in this beautiful dream they'd created, but he knew Light would be waiting for him. He had his vows to say and suddenly he wasn't nervous at all. 

"What if I wake up and think this was just a dream?" L fretted as his surroundings began to slowly dim and grow hazy. 

"You won't. When you wake up it will start to snow"

"What?! But it's sunny outside" L glanced at them both in confusion. 

"It won't be when you wake up. We have to go now, L, and you need to return. We love you"

L felt panic seized him as they suddenly faded before his eyes. 

"No! Wait! Don't leave me!"

"We love you, L"

Suddenly everything was fading away. The meadows and the hills shimmered before him and L could hear the ticking of a clock. He thought he heard his name but he wasn't sure. Dream lapsed into reality as he smelled the incense Sachiko was burning… 

******************  
*************  
********

"L! L! L?!"

L jolted awake, hand outstretched and eyes wide with panic. He didn't want the dream to be over! 

"Baby, it's okay" Light soothed. L saw through blurry eyes Light and Naomi were hovering over him, concern on their faces. 

"It's going to snow!" L blurted out and lurched to his feet as their words came rushing back to him. 

"Uh… okay?" Naomi shot Light a concerned look as L rushed towards the window. He drew the curtain back and gasped in wonder at the soft flakes twirling towards the ground. 

"What?!" Naomi and Light hurried over, shocked at this sudden change in weather. How the hell had L even *known* it was going to snow? 

"They came to me in a dream!" L was babbling away about Beyond and Quillish and the Lake District in such a fast and excited way it confused both Light and Naomi. 

"Honey, that sounds like a lovely dream-" Naomi tried but was cut off swiftly when L shook his head and pointed to the snow. It was swirling down and covering the ground at a pretty fast pace. Naomi was still a bit stunned. The reports had said it was going to be sunny and cold. There had been no inclination snow was due. In this part of Greece snow was rare. 

"They told me when I wake up it will snow and that is how I will know it *wasn't* a dream" L grabbed Light and squeezed his hand in his. "I saw Beyond, Light. And he is *better* he isn't sick anymore!"

Light frowned in uncertainty. L looked so radiant with happiness he didn't want to say anything to spoil it. 

"It's true, you know. He said you asking to renew our vows every five years was 'sappy but beautiful'" L quoted with a big smile on his face. Light snapped his mouth shut. That sounded like something Beyond Birthday would have said. 

Naomi glanced at Light and L and shrugged. She had no idea if what L had experienced was real or not. She supposed the only one who really knew that was L himself and he appeared so at peace and happy… 

"Well, I guess that's wonderful" Light pressed a kiss to L's cheek. He didn't know what to think, but he delighted in seeing L so rapturous. 

"It's nearly time to say our vows, Light. I'm not nervous anymore. Fuck, I can't be nervous about *anything* anymore. Let's go outside!" L grabbed light's hand and began pulling him out the door. Naomi grabbed their coats and they all walked out into the snow, smiling as it continued to drift down and blanket the ground. 

"Fuck me" Naomi whispered, eyes growing wide as she saw the message carved into the fresh blanket of snow. 

"Congratulations L and Light. Love, Beyond and Quillish"

"This is impossible!" light whispered, scarcely able to believe their eyes. No one was outside and that message hadn't been there two minutes ago when they were staring out of the window. 

"See?" L smiled smugly, "I told you it wasn't a dream!"

Light continued to stare at the words on the ground. Suddenly it all made sense. L and Beyond had made their peace. L had seen proof of the existence of ones soul. No wonder he was so jubilant! 

A sense of peace and wonder descended over them as they stood in the snow and watched as the message was slowly covered with fresh snowfall. It had completely disappeared within five minutes but it was burned into their memories. Not one of them would forget it for as long as they lived. 

"Guys!"

They turned to find Matt poking his head out of the door. "The minister is here. Woah. The fuck did this snow come from?"

L and Light shared a look. 

"A dream" L smiled, "A very lovely dream"

'I will tell them all what happened later. I hope it gives them as much comfort and happiness as it has given me' L thought as they made their way back inside. 

Sachiko had somehow transferred her lounge into a sweet smelling haven of flickering candles, beautiful flowers and burning incense. 

"This is stunning" L smiled as he looked around. He felt so calm and at peace when he held Light's hand and prepared to say his vows again. Quillish and Beyond were watching from wherever they were, and he knew in his heart from this day forward until his last day he wouldn't be afraid anymore. Not of anything. With Light's love he was utterly untouchable. 

"Sit down quietly" Naomi hissed as Junior tried to sneak out to go back to his toys. The family slotted into their seats and even the dogs sat quietly on their beds as the minister beckoned L and Light forward. 

"Today we mark five years since L and Light made a promise to one another. They promised to stand together through the storms in life and hold fast to one another. The path they have walked down has not always been easy, but they have remained each other anchor and stood firm against the tide. I cannot express how happy I am to be here to perform this blessing once again" the minister shot the couple a bright smile and they smiled back at her, for her words had touched their hearts. They really were each others anchors through life. 

Assisted by Naomi and Anton, little Naomi junior and Light Junior toddled up to the makeshift altar with the rings. 

"Thank you, Darling" L whispered as he took the ring from his daughter. The smile on her face was beautiful and he leaned down to press a tender kiss to her cheek. 

"Love you, Daddy" Naomi nuzzled against him, little arms wrapping around his neck. 

"I love you too, My Sweetheart" L breathed in her babysoft smell and closed his eyes. He was the luckiest man on the planet. He had two beautiful children, a family who had been with him through thick and thin and his Light… 

Light ruffled Junior's hair as he handed him the ring. 

"Yucky smooching" Junior announced as he jutted his chin and L and Light. 

"That is *exactly* what is going to happen" Light grinned. Junior groaned and looked up at Anton as if to say 'Really?' The children returned to their seats and L and Light turned to face one another. 

As if the years that had passed between them hadn't happened, Light perfectly recited the vows he had spoken beneath the olive tree on lovers hill. 

L repeated his vows but added some new ones, born of more recent experience. His voice sure and eyes steady as he pledged to always be there for Light, to never again take his love for granted and to show him daily how much he treasured him. 

Light repeated these new vows of L's, eyes shining down at L as he slipped the ring on his finger. L put Light's ring on and they grinned at each other, their love rejuvenated as their vows rang softly through their minds. 

"You may now seal your love with a kiss" the minister smiled, wondering if they were going to get quite as carried away as they had the first time. 

Light leaned in and L wrapped his arms around his neck. This time they kissed slowly and gently, their passion was older and more mature now. There was nothing but love in the kiss as they held each other tightly. 

'Kinky stuff can wait till later' Light thought with a grin. He pulled away and nuzzled L's nose with his own. The applause from their family and the sweet scent of incense made this moment seem dream like and perfect. 

"There was just one thing I forgot to say" L whispered as he tenderly stroked a finger down Light's face. 

"What was it?" Light whispered back, caught in the moment. It was just him and L and suddenly nothing else in the world mattered. They were living the sweetest dream each time they held each other in their arms. 

"I'm gonna love you forever, Light"

The words held a deeper meaning now they knew forever was a very real thing. Beyond and Quillish had taught them that. 

"I'm going to love you forever, L" Light's voice broke as he felt tears fall from his eyes. 

They kissed once again and rejoiced in one another, souls finally at peace as they loved and was loved in return. 

The snow continued to drift down gently like the silent blessing it was. In the distance church bells rang and together the family returned outside to play in the snow. 

Excited shrieks rang out through the muffled silence as old and young alike played together, pelting one another with snowballs.

The children tired after a few hours of playing in the snow and Sachiko led her grandchildren back inside for some hot chocolate and a nap. L, Light and their friends stayed outside as dusk began to fall. The day had passed so quickly but it felt oddly timeless as well. 

"Boys, you had better split" Naomi winked at them knowingly, "Sachiko has the kids. Go and enjoy your wedding night"

L shivered with anticipation as Light's eyes gleamed at the words. He had a feeling his husband would make sure he enjoyed every second of it. They said their goodbyes to their family, content with the knowledge they would continue their Christmas celebrations together at Sachiko's. 

'We will always be together' L thought as he stood with Light, hands entwined, and watched his family return to the warm haven off Sachiko's home. 

Naomi, his fierce, beautiful best friend. Raye as serious and devoted as ever. Matt and Mello, his earnest best friends he would die for. Anton and Yuri…

'I love each and every one of you with my whole heart' L thought as he waved goodbye to them once more before the door closed behind them. He and Light were booked to spend the night at what they know considered *their* spa to celebrate their 'wedding' night.

Light held out his hand and L took it. Neither spoke, they said all they needed to say to one another by the soft look of love and adoration that passed between them. 

Together they walked off into the sunset, just as Light had always promised they would…

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback. Good? Bad? I don't care. Don't be a silent reader and expect author's to just carry on without feedback. Writing and reading is a two way thing and there should be communication between authors and readers.


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